FabSwingers.com forum: Would you say something

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Was reading the thread about the demise of fingering.

Many women myself included have commented on how so many are do bad at it.. for me it's at the stage where I just discourage it fullstop with meets as a general rule..

But I have found if I say something to a guy about what he's doing he gets the hump.

It's not like i say " ffs your crap at that"

I would try to tell them how I prefer it...

So ladies and gents if someone is doing something sexually that just isn't right for you do you

* stop them and tell them..

* grin and bare it.

*Or just stop them and move onto something else.

* or other way to deal with it.

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By *olden_Road_to_SamarkandMan
over a year ago

Andover

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By *VineMan
over a year ago

The right place

I think communication during sex is so important. Just because a woman you met with last likes things one way, it doesn’t mean the next one will.

Verbal and non verbal communication is key

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’d like to think I would tell them but many times I have just been a “grin and bare it” girl.

This is why I’m very direct in messages before meeting someone and like to know all about what they like and how they may like it and vice versa in hope they get it right!

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By *rryTMan
over a year ago

Nottingham

Tell them, always

What works for one girl doesn't for another so as blokes it can be hard to tell what works best. There's no one generic way

Help us help you x

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By *orkie321bWoman
over a year ago

Nottingham

I generally try to guide without being too bossy/demanding. Telling them when it's good and that's how I like it.

Some people just don't get it though and persist in touching you how they think you should enjoy it.

I have had a couple of occasions where I have stopped all play completely because they don't listen to what I like.

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By *dam1971Man
over a year ago

Bedford

Hopefully I would be told. I sometimes ask but also see how someone is reacting to it. Whatever happens we’re there for an enjoyable time, there’s plenty of crap sex available elsewhere

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

End of my old chap is pretty sensitive and I've never said just take it easy or move on a bit,as scared of offending and getting bit

I also like to watch a women play so i can see how she likes to be touched, then do the opposite

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I'm guided by the person. I love it when we read each other and improve. One guy I meet makes me delirious with his fingers and he says his only secret is listening to my reactions. Others, I'll shift, or gently suggest a slight adaptation, but in a smoothing over sort of way. The reaction will determine if I grin and bear it. If I grin and bear it I won't meet them again.

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By *layfulCouple86Couple
over a year ago

Lancashire

If someone was not enjoying something I was doing I certainly wouldn't take offence to a little guidance.

People often forget we all like it a little differently and what might work for one person won't necessarily do anything for another.

Mr Playful.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't let them carry on if I'm not enjoying it, same as I wouldn't expect my partner to either, sex is about enjoyment for both. For the adults, talking and directing each other to where or how it gives pleasure shouldn't be an issue, we're all different and we all like different things.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"If someone was not enjoying something I was doing I certainly wouldn't take offence to a little guidance.

People often forget we all like it a little differently and what might work for one person won't necessarily do anything for another.

Mr Playful."

I really enjoy working out what makes each person tick. I have tricks that work on plenty of guys, but if I don't hear the kind of involuntarily response that tells me I've hit the spot, I'll try other things. Part of the fun of it.

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By *rown Eyed SubWoman
over a year ago

North Lanarkshire

always tell them. you both want to enjoy it & have a good time!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I communicate, but I know it’s killed the mood on occasion. It’s odd that some people can turn you on in every way they touch you and others just don’t. They’re not bad, just touch in a different way.

I like being guided too, especially with women. Again, asking ‘how’s that for you?’ too much can kill things.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would gently tell them how i like it, positive reinforcement works a charm. Rather than saying "I don't like this", I say" I love when someone does this to me".... It usually helps tremendously. Most understand what works for one, may not work for another

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

With some people it feels as if they're rummaging around for their keys, or doing a customs search.

If "Be gentle please" doesn't help, then that's pretty much game over really.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd much rather be told if what I'm doing isn't working for the girl in question.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I try to tell them gently that I prefer it doing a little differently. I also will move their hand to somewhere else, or I often show them what I like.

If you feel you can't tell the person, then to me it's not the right person.

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By *olliPineCouple
over a year ago

swingers clubs

"Was reading the thread about the demise of fingering.

Many women myself included have commented on how so many are do bad at it.. for me it's at the stage where I just discourage it fullstop with meets as a general rule..

But I have found if I say something to a guy about what he's doing he gets the hump.

It's not like i say " ffs your crap at that"

I would try to tell them how I prefer it...

So ladies and gents if someone is doing something sexually that just isn't right for you do you

* stop them and tell them..

* grin and bare it.

*Or just stop them and move onto something else.

* or other way to deal with it."

XX has no problems telling me (XY) what she likes.

Over the years she's effectively moulded me into her perfect sex machine.

But I know that's perfect for her, not for every woman...

...so I'd like to take this opportunity to apologise to all those women out there for whom I've been a massive disappointment. Its not my fault, its my missus'

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By *he Mac LassWoman
over a year ago

Hefty Hideaway

The last time I let a guy carry on when I wasn’t particularly enjoying his moves I was sore and bled for a few days. That never ever is going to happen again. If I’m not enjoying it, it stops. Immediately. His ego is not worth my pain.

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By *dam1971Man
over a year ago

Bedford

"The last time I let a guy carry on when I wasn’t particularly enjoying his moves I was sore and bled for a few days. That never ever is going to happen again. If I’m not enjoying it, it stops. Immediately. His ego is not worth my pain. "

I didn’t realise, I thought that boxing gloves would be ideal for fisting

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

I think because of the nature of the way that we meet on here you have to be prepared to read and listen to guidance given (either by involuntary reaction or being told directly) and if you can't do that or take umbrage when it's given then you need to take a good look at yourself.

No-one can ever know exactly how every individual is going to react and/or needs to be touched - so being able to take that guidance is key to making a meet work for the pleasure of all involved

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"I think because of the nature of the way that we meet on here you have to be prepared to read and listen to guidance given (either by involuntary reaction or being told directly) and if you can't do that or take umbrage when it's given then you need to take a good look at yourself.

No-one can ever know exactly how every individual is going to react and/or needs to be touched - so being able to take that guidance is key to making a meet work for the pleasure of all involved"

Oops pressed send too soon!!

So to answer the question, yes of course I'd expect someone to tell me if I wasn't doing it right for them, and would certainly tell them or guide them if they weren't doing it right for me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think there's a type of guy on here who thinks there's a special technique to fingering. So they basically go finger blasting mad on every woman they meet in the hope they'll make them squirt and be remembered as a fingering maestro

Personally I treat everything from the first tentative touch through to the first passionate kiss and on to all the sensual and sexual exploration that follows, be it with lips, fingers, tongue, cock, etc as a dance between two sexy souls, ever listening to what seems to be getting a gorgeous response and what doesn't. That way seems to have worked fine for me so far

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By *etter the devil you knowWoman
over a year ago

Lyndhurst

stop them and move onto something else usually. Some men i meet do it exactly how i like it.

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By *40 maleMan
over a year ago

chesterfield

"Was reading the thread about the demise of fingering.

Many women myself included have commented on how so many are do bad at it.. for me it's at the stage where I just discourage it fullstop with meets as a general rule..

But I have found if I say something to a guy about what he's doing he gets the hump.

It's not like i say " ffs your crap at that"

I would try to tell them how I prefer it...

So ladies and gents if someone is doing something sexually that just isn't right for you do you

* stop them and tell them..

* grin and bare it.

*Or just stop them and move onto something else.

* or other way to deal with it."

During a meet, if something I was doing wasn’t pleasurable I’d sooner know. At the end of the day it’s everyone needs to enjoy it

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