FabSwingers.com forum: Honesty about sexual practices.

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Another thread had me wondering about the people who tick “Safe Sex” box when filling in their profile yet don’t practice it. Are these people misleading, misguided or deceptive? Should people who have in the past or do play bareback have an obligation to be honest about doing so?

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

" Should people who have in the past or do play bareback have an obligation to be honest about doing so?"

If they have any consideration for their fellow playmates... Yes.

Then informed choices can be made.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

altho it is also up to everyone who is concerned to ask...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A lot of people will say what they think others want to read on a profile, bugger what they themselves really think or practice.

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"Another thread had me wondering about the people who tick “Safe Sex” box when filling in their profile yet don’t practice it. Are these people misleading, misguided or deceptive? Should people who have in the past or do play bareback have an obligation to be honest about doing so?"

No-one on here has an 'obligation' to do anything at all. If you feel that they may have played bareback and you think they might then be riddled with disease, then just don't play with them!

For all I know I have played with many men who have shagged from here to Thailand and back without a condom, but as long as they use one with me then that's safe sex.

If you start worrying about what others might do you'll not leave your house!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

how couple you police this tho

how could you make people be honest about anything

married people will say they single to get meets, people who play bare will say they dont to get meets, bi guys will say they straight to get meets

how could you possibly stop people from saying what they think other what to hear?

most people will skirt around the truth in one way or another, some on big things some on small things, its human nature to make yourself look better to others

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"altho it is also up to everyone who is concerned to ask..."

I would ask but am assuming they would say the same as their profile does be it true or not.

It has made me wonder though how many who say they do and tick the box only "do" some of the time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Safe Sex" barebackers.

"Straight" bi males.

"Bi" straight females.

The site is full of people out to deceive, its getting harder to sort the wheat from the chaff!

XXXX

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" Should people who have in the past or do play bareback have an obligation to be honest about doing so?

If they have any consideration for their fellow playmates... Yes.

Then informed choices can be made."

not many people are tho are they

most are on here for their own reasons and will say whats needed to get where they want to be

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"how couple you police this tho

how could you make people be honest about anything

married people will say they single to get meets, people who play bare will say they dont to get meets, bi guys will say they straight to get meets

how could you possibly stop people from saying what they think other what to hear?

most people will skirt around the truth in one way or another, some on big things some on small things, its human nature to make yourself look better to others "

I don't really think you can police it as it relies on honesty of others. Its the same with testing I have never asked to see written proof someone is or was clear at the last check.

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"most are on here for their own reasons and will say whats needed to get where they want to be "

I'm on here for a shag, not to answer a four page questionnaire every time I get a meet.

Unless you're a virgin (and people even lie about that!) then no sex is safe sex.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

""Safe Sex" barebackers.

"Straight" bi males.

"Bi" straight females.

The site is full of people out to deceive, its getting harder to sort the wheat from the chaff!

XXXX"

After reading many topics its seems thats the case sadly.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

" Should people who have in the past or do play bareback have an obligation to be honest about doing so?

If they have any consideration for their fellow playmates... Yes.

Then informed choices can be made.

not many people are tho are they

most are on here for their own reasons and will say whats needed to get where they want to be "

Not sure if most on here are, a good few yes.. we only ever hear of the small minority that do. The forum represents a small percentage of the site x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You've been around long enough to know that you really shouldn't believe everything that people tell you on their profiles.

Some of them lie about how tall they are so why should their sexuality and sexual preferences be any different

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"how couple you police this tho

how could you make people be honest about anything

married people will say they single to get meets, people who play bare will say they dont to get meets, bi guys will say they straight to get meets

how could you possibly stop people from saying what they think other what to hear?

most people will skirt around the truth in one way or another, some on big things some on small things, its human nature to make yourself look better to others

I don't really think you can police it as it relies on honesty of others. Its the same with testing I have never asked to see written proof someone is or was clear at the last check."

can you get written proof?

i get tested very regular, i go every 4 weeks but i have never had my results written down on paper

and to be quite honest if anyone asked me for proof id tell them to piss off as i dont have to prove msyelf to anyone

and if that ment they didnt want to meet me, well so what theres a site full of single guys on here

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You've been around long enough to know that you really shouldn't believe everything that people tell you on their profiles.

Some of them lie about how tall they are so why should their sexuality and sexual preferences be any different

Its pretty sad it gets to that stage though. It does make you wonder how much you can trust someone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You've been around long enough to know that you really shouldn't believe everything that people tell you on their profiles.

Some of them lie about how tall they are so why should their sexuality and sexual preferences be any different

Its pretty sad it gets to that stage though. It does make you wonder how much you can trust someone.

i know this sounds horrible but its sound advice

treat everyone you meet as if they did bare back sex and protect yourself accordingly, that way you not go far wrong

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is the point of this being missed? Safe sex starts and ends with you, No Glove No Love, people talk about warring a condom buts it's not just that. The person needs to be clean ie no cheese behind the foreskin or clit (yes the ladies get it aswell) and std's are also passed on by body fluid so rembember that when going down.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Is the point of this being missed? Safe sex starts and ends with you, No Glove No Love, people talk about warring a condom buts it's not just that. The person needs to be clean ie no cheese behind the foreskin or clit (yes the ladies get it aswell) and std's are also passed on by body fluid so rembember that when going down.

So are you a dental dam every time guy?

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By *ouplefunukCouple
over a year ago

North Bristol

Hmmmmm, I see what your getting at, but not all people who have played bareback in the past are unsafe now.

I was very irresponsible in my youth. It was a long time ago and i've been tested rigorously over the last 2 years (we're talking 10 years since I was in my 'youth') for more than the GUM would test you (prior to IVF)

I would never play unsafe now, but have in the past. Does thsat mean I should utick the box even though I know 100% I am safe?

*Her*

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You've been around long enough to know that you really shouldn't believe everything that people tell you on their profiles.

Some of them lie about how tall they are so why should their sexuality and sexual preferences be any different

Its pretty sad it gets to that stage though. It does make you wonder how much you can trust someone.

i know this sounds horrible but its sound advice

treat everyone you meet as if they did bare back sex and protect yourself accordingly, that way you not go far wrong

Well you do all you can but i personally would like someone to be respectful enough to be honest with me and not self obsessed to a point of deceiving me to have sex. Maybe i am a bit idealistic.

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

So are you a dental dam every time guy?"

she probably isn't... as the only true sense of "safe sex" is no sex at all.......

you might rely on a condom... but even a condom is only 98% effective in perfect use....

life is about judging risks.... anything from walking across the road to bungee jumping... and the only thing we can do is minimise those the best that you can with it ruling your life.....

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

I am with Monti... it is all about HONESTY and Mutual Respect.

but hey, I also believe in equality and that's a wee bit away still

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i would like to think im honest, simply because i have no need to lie

as a single woman i will always get meets, if i put on my profile i only practice safe sex or if i say i like bare back men will still mail me for meets

therefore i have no reason to lie to people

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

"i would like to think im honest, simply because i have no need to lie

as a single woman i will always get meets, if i put on my profile i only practice safe sex or if i say i like bare back men will still mail me for meets

therefore i have no reason to lie to people

totally agree

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You can't really count on anyone's honesty and sexual health screening but your own.

I have sex without a condom with my partner but wouldn't have sex with anyone else without one. I know which I prefer but I value my health and peace of mind too much to just bareback with every guy that asks.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have bareback (horrible phrase) sex all the time...........but only with each other!

The reason we don't do it with others is not only for safe sex reasons, but it is our ultimate pleasure for each other to enjoy.

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By *uckscouple2007Couple
over a year ago

Bucks

we had a couple message us a while back, all was going well until they included in a message ".. and play BB too"

when we replied asking if they had read our profile (which states at least twice that we only play 'safe' + safe sex listed as an interest) they got stroppy saying so many peeps list safe sex but dont practise it .. then blocked us

they beat us to it lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"we had a couple message us a while back, all was going well until they included in a message ".. and play BB too"

they beat us to it lol"

They obviously didn't read your profile and felt embarrassed for not doing so and mailing you as they did. Far too many are lackadaisical with attitudes towards safe sex unfortunately.

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By *onnoisseur100Man
over a year ago

Woking-ish

No-one on here has an 'obligation' to do anything at all. If you feel that they may have played bareback and you think they might then be riddled with disease, then just don't play with them!

For all I know I have played with many men who have shagged from here to Thailand and back without a condom, but as long as they use one with me then that's safe sex.

If you start worrying about what others might do you'll not leave your house!"

I agree, way back in the mists of time, before I was responsible, I had unprotected sex.

Not now though, condom always, so I'm safe and so are you (well from me at least)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Does it matter what they do on other meets as long as your protecting yourself? if your unsure or unhappy dont play with them.....

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