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D/s - why does it turn you on?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I like to play D/s, but for me it’s a very delicate dynamic. I often find myself ‘submitting’ more to men who don’t identify as Dom because they really turn me on and in the heat of the moment I want to let them push me to pleasure them further.

My experience of a D/s dynamic seems very different to others. Two comments stay with me - a man who pushed me further than others but didn’t want me to do things just to please him. I wanted to do things for him for precisely that reason, so that was a conflict.

Someone who stated that Dom’s want to adored. But if that’s true, isn’t the whole interaction all about the Dom?What turns you on about D/s play?

I’m really interested in *your* perspective of what turns *you* on, not a discussion of the ‘right’ way to play D/s, ‘real’ or ‘true’ Doms or ‘diddy’ Dom’s. I’m pretty sceptical of the Big Book of BDSM Rules. Thank you.

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

I can’t speak for the s, however for me it’s about being adored, in return I give my time and respect for her needs.

Subs are selfish, need attention, lots of attention and you feed that and the rewards are adoration.

D/s is a big subject, and the above is not the nut, it’s purely the shell.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

I'm relatively inexperienced in practice but fairly well read and like to think knowledgeable on the subject - for me (as a sub) the appeal is very much about the power exchange, being able to give up control to someone you know, respect and trust enough to allow them to take it and use it with equal respect and trust.

It's difficult to explain what the turn on is in that though - it's more about the mental aspects of it, although the individual physical elements are of course very much a part of it - but the way someone taking control plays with your mind is the ultimate turn on.

I'm naturally submissive and always have been to a greater or lesser degree so I guess that plays into it too, kind of following a natural instinct if that makes sense?

The thing is, having said all that, it's not an overriding all encompassing urge for me either - I can play just as equally with someone without having to involve D/s dynamics - so it's maybe something I've found I can switch on and off.

Likewise I have to "feel" submissive to someone to be submissive with them - which maybe explains my lack of experience, as I couldn't just enter into a proper D/s dynamic with anyone.

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

My problem is, I’m not sure some people know the difference between B/d and D/s.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"My problem is, I’m not sure some people know the difference between B/d and D/s."

Do you mean that many assume that D/s involves ‘ropes, whips and chains’?

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By *haznsteCouple
over a year ago

plymouth

Because it's fun ??

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


" Because it's fun ??"

That’s a given. The question is why?

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills


"My problem is, I’m not sure some people know the difference between B/d and D/s.

Do you mean that many assume that D/s involves ‘ropes, whips and chains’?"

Yes, it means understanding George Millers 7 +/2 theory of taking on sub space, the after effect of that. To me, a D/s relationship is a lot of (rewarding) hard work.

I personally am so, so attracted to it, equally need to be in the right place for the energy that it needs.

I personally would not enter in to a D/s relationship lightly, they are emotionally and physically testing.

However, that is my shell, not the nut.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am 100%owned sub to Sir. Yes i agree its mentally and physically challenging. There has to be a incredible trust,love, respect, and honesty . The turn on for me personally is i have a job where i am Dominant ( own business) but only there do I play a dominant role. When im with my Sir completely shut the world out and I am me . I can let him into my mind in a split second he just has to say my name and i switch from normal day to day me to who i crave daily and i give myself to him m, body and mind completely untill our session is over and after aftercare. You can only do that if you have the trust in someone as i do. I can not kneel to any one else but him. I dont feel safe. He does share me but the turn on there is he is there and my safety net and i know he wants to see it and im there to please him and when i look at him and see his expression and his eyes and i know he is proud of what he owns that is a massive turn on for a sub

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Flogger and belt and palm and ropes just add to the pleasure lol i love it

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