FabSwingers.com forum: Why is it so difficult

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Don't get me wrong, we've had some amazing meets off fab as you would see if you looked at my profile page, but it is very frustrating when you think you're onto a good meet, messages are exchanged, a date set and all seems well..even phone numbers exchanged and then.....silence!

The amount of times this happens, especially when we are trying to meet a couple is astonishing.

Yes, I know that there are unfortunately loads of 'couples' who are really guys, but surely it can'gt be that difficult.

I don't think I come over as anything other than friendly, but I do always cut to the chase as our playtime is limited and I want to meet for full on fun and not for a coffee etc

Do you think being up front in what you want is a bad thing or do you think I scare couples off because I'm too full on?

Constructive comments welcome! hehe

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

just people playing games or gettin cold feet last minute

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham

No,cutting to the chase saves wasted time and energy imo.i speak to the other fem as soon as possible in any arrangements,doesnt mean i expect to fuck,just that we all know we are who we say we are.

My typical contact would go like this;

1.recieve message

2.check profile

3.reply

4.read their reply

5.Ask to speak to fem.

Cuts out loads of bollocks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Knowing what you like is a good thing!

Lots of people do want to do the social thing to start with.. some aren;t too keen on turn up and play scenarios. I would emphasise this quickly on any message early on, as your profile is very wordy, it might get missed.

Definitely get a girl-girl chat (with the couples or single fem) before you agree anything or take things too far down the planning route - it WILL cut out a lot of the rubbish! Again, emphasise the turn up and play during that phone call with them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I suppose meeting with couples is often trickier good lady, as apart from the bloke pretending to be a pair bullshit (why they do it is beyond me. Do they honestly think they won't be found out?) Both parties have to be available, both have to be happy with the arrangement and both have to not get cold feet, so in terms of odds more can go wrong unfortunately. That being said I've nothing against couples, I've not had one let me down to date and the fact that so much can clearly go wrong makes me appreciate the ones I have met more so.

And no Madam, there's nothing wrong with being full-on. I quite like full on and a lady being upfront about exactly what her naughty little mind and body desires...

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

want an honest answer from me..... and this is just me personally....I'd run a mile....

its all about you....

you could say it is too much about you..

its all I I I... but what do you have to offer?

i don't really see anything that screams "why would I want to pick you?" in relation to telling me "yes that is a person who comes across well, I think I can relate, I think she stands out for all the right reasons, and someone I would like to get to know"...

too domineering... too me me me.....

remember the type of person you are trying to attract... are they going to say "yes that person sounds fun, hmmm"

just a few thoughts.......

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks for the comments so far. It is interesting to see how people's minds work. Fabio I can understand where you are coming from, but I've put on a lot about me me me because people need to know what they are getting. I know I'm not for everyone and vice versa and that's fine - it just my understanding of swinging is that it for meeting strangers for sex and fantasy fulfillment and I thought it was better that people know exactly what I'm about as opposed to actually meeting up and there being any disappointment on either side.

Anways..have a great day! xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Perhaps you should advertise as a couple, your hubby is present at all meets and may join in but may also watch. To me this suggests you meet as a couple therefore people should be afforded the opportunity to learn something about him too.

As for the full-on profile, I think it's a breath of fresh air, it does what it says on the tin! Different Strokes for different folks but I don't see anything wrong with it personally.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thx babes. We did have a couples profile but the response was very poor. Since I've been on as a single girly (although it's clear I'm not) the response has been staggering! hehe! Maybe resurrect our couples profile now and link one to the other perhaps! Thanks for your advice! xxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Perhaps you should advertise as a couple, your hubby is present at all meets and may join in but may also watch. To me this suggests you meet as a couple therefore people should be afforded the opportunity to learn something about him too.

have to agree with this, if you only ever meet together then you shouldnt be advertising as a single lady

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

People often say one thing and do another, i would sort the couples profile out n go from there...maybe when you get messages to your single female profile, you could ask them to message couples one for a bit?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Agree with the above - if we're looking to meet a couple then that's what we search for and likewise if we want to meet a single lady.

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"Thanks for the comments so far. It is interesting to see how people's minds work. Fabio I can understand where you are coming from, but I've put on a lot about me me me because people need to know what they are getting. I know I'm not for everyone and vice versa and that's fine - it just my understanding of swinging is that it for meeting strangers for sex and fantasy fulfillment and I thought it was better that people know exactly what I'm about as opposed to actually meeting up and there being any disappointment on either side.

Anways..have a great day! xx"

no worries... judging by the messages i have just gotten I think I may have sounded a bit harsh....

let me try and soften it a touch....

for example.. it is full of "I want" and "you must"...and then the list of demands... and I think that is what makes it quite abrasive....

I think the thing I was trying to get across was think about the people you are trying to attract, and think, what would they like to see... as opposed to the people who you are complaing about now attracting.....

what gets the best side of you across?

make people think "wow I have to meet that person!!" and I don't think it does that at the moment.....

I can see it actually scaring a lot of the nice people you are after off....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

1st thing i noticed was you mention your hubby lot and he is always there at meets so why no couples profile

i think you need a couples profile and then people would be aware of the above as some people don't actually read all the text.

and negativity on the profile isnt the best x

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By *lackMetalMan
over a year ago

Centre

Your profile is great and very atractive. I do like the full-on straightforward profile that you have but I do have to second what Fabio said.

It was all good until you started listing rules. It makes you come across as overly demanding and not much fun and relaxed. Tweak it a bit. I get the feeling that people probably chicken out cos they think "she doesn't seem like she will be fun anyway"

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