FabSwingers.com forum: Question for Ladies/Couples

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I rarely send new messages now as I'm more than happy with my current "Playmates" (disclaimer)

I completely understand that you get a million messages a day!

However...

You recieve a message from a Single Man. He compliments your profile and explains why he has messaged, he introduces himself and tries to explain his intentions and maybe gives abit of his background story, he has even written the "Special" word to show he has read your profile and attaches his most handsome Face pic!

He is not your type and doesn't do anything for you, but he really likes you and your profile.

You don't delete his message and don't respond either

How does he know you're not interested?

What's the length of time that he should wait before trying to message again, as you may of missed it amongst the million of messages?

Should he message again when he got no response initially, if not why?

Is it not just easier to delete or simply say there's no interest?

Send your answers on a Postcard...

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By *ife to play withCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield

If a single guys make an effort to send a informed message, We will always reply.

It's the two word messages that we find annoying and very seldom reply to.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I appreciate that.

I have a feeling that most of the responses will be from people like you guys who actually reply. Lol

Be interesting to hear from the woman and couples who don't respond or delete?

I know it's a person's right not to respond or delete it and not to generalise every woman with the same brush, etc

Just interested to hear genuine reasons why?

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By *ife to play withCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield

We think, that sometimes especially if a new profile the number of messages that couples and single ladies get is extremely large ( we got over 300 the first day) so sometimes the single guys have to take it on the chin LOL

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We don't reply if the message is rude or is way out of line. But then we block and delete those right away as don't want to hear form them ever again.

So the answer is there in any case

Mrs

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

We always respond to any messages, but we also have single guys blocked most of the time so the number of messages is low.

For folk though, they get so many messages that they would need a full time secretary to be able to respond to them all. Many people on here are just too concerned about the people who DON'T want to meet them, rather than concentrating on those who might.

Cal

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I often don't reply to personal messages when I'm not interested. Unfortunately a combination of amount of mail (I do have some filters in place and have found a happy medium for me) and guys/ couples who'll be rude or argue with my perfectly polite (personal, considered) no thank you. I'm also very aware of the effect replying has on my message filters.

My personal thought is, wait (at least) a few days and try again with a different approach. Maybe longer. But don't try the same approach: I personally block people who send me the same message, no matter how much time has elapsed (because I know they know I've not replied before). Although these are almost always copy-paste messages that don't refer to my profile at all.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"We don't reply if the message is rude or is way out of line. But then we block and delete those right away as don't want to hear form them ever again.

So the answer is there in any case

Mrs"

Morning Missus,

Thanks for responding. I do the same with rude out of line messages and bet alot of people do.

What if the message is like what's described in the OP and not rude or out of line, and he just wasn't for you.

How, if at all would you let him know?

If you wouldn't, why?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"We always respond to any messages, but we also have single guys blocked most of the time so the number of messages is low.

Cal"

Appreciate the response.

Blocking singles guys is probably the easiest and respect that. There's no second guessing and doesn't get clearer than that.

I completely agree with the latter and think some have a longer list of things they hate rather than love

Thanks Cal

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

I would look at his profile first, if it looks like we have things in common then I'd respond. If not I delete, usually unread. I used to respond to most of my messages but it was turning into a full time job trying to keep up with replies. So for me personally, it's better not to respond at all to people who I'm not interested in.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Sometimes we don't respond simply because we forget. However if we're definitely interested we will always respond eventually, probably within about a week.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I often don't reply to personal messages when I'm not interested. Unfortunately a combination of amount of mail (I do have some filters in place and have found a happy medium for me) and guys/ couples who'll be rude or argue with my perfectly polite (personal, considered) no thank you. I'm also very aware of the effect replying has on my message filters.

Thanks for for response and your honesty Missus A.

My first thought as why this happens was down to the amount of mail theat Women/Couples get daily. I appreciate it would get tedious responding to everyone stating you don't like them, only to get " why not"

Some Single Men do let the team down, I know.

However in this case would it not be easier to delete the message. If I ever have a deleted message I would get the hint a swiftly move on.

So you delete uninterested message or just leave them to disappear in the sea of unread messages before the monthly mass/bulk delete. Lol

Well I have read your profile extensively (albeit lenghty

) and it says everything, so if an idiot hasn't read it after you detailing your requirements then more fool him

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I rarely send new messages now as I'm more than happy with my current "Playmates" (disclaimer)

I completely understand that you get a million messages a day!

However...

He is not your type and doesn't do anything for you, but he really likes you and your profile.

You don't delete his message and don't respond either

How does he know you're not interested?

What's the length of time that he should wait before trying to message again, as you may of missed it amongst the million of messages?

Should he message again when he got no response initially, if not why?

Is it not just easier to delete or simply say there's no interest?

Send your answers on a Postcard...

"
I message again anyway ha and I've got some great meets from it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We try to reply to all messages but sometimes get so many we forget.

We do get guys trying to strike up conversations. If we are not looking we say so but if they keep coming back we block as we don’t have time to be responding to multiple messages if people don’t get that we’re not looking. It can take up a lot of time and some guys just cut and paste the same message weeks apart.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Exactly the same here, couldn't agree more.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It is difficult to respond to every message, we all have a busy life and guess most ladies use this site to meet like minded guys that interest them. When I receive a message I judge by the first few words if it may be worth looking at the profile, if I like what I see in the profile, I will read the message, if a little effort has been put in to the initial message I will take the time to respond, even if it is a polite "thanks but no thanks." Honestly, it is impossible to read and respond to every message received, I would need to reduce my working hours to be able to fit this in, leaving myself unable to afford to go out! Sometimes, even when you politely respond with a "no thanks," it is not uncommon to then be bombarded with endless begging messages trying to get me to change my mind. We are all on Fab for our own enjoyment, not everyone will be looking for the same, tolerance of others likes and dislikes is imperative.

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By *969BewitchedWoman
over a year ago

Nottingham

I always reply if a face pic is attached which is what my profile says even when it's no thank you.

Exception to that is if it's a stupid "I will own/destroy you" or "I want to fuck you raw" type which usually gets blocked as well as deleted.

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By *acktar74Man
over a year ago

leeds

"I always reply if a face pic is attached which is what my profile says even when it's no thank you.

Exception to that is if it's a stupid "I will own/destroy you" or "I want to fuck you raw" type which usually gets blocked as well as deleted.

Do people actually say I will destroy you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm lazy. Pure and simple. In fairness my profile says as much so I'm pretty sure anyone that messages me having read it shouldn't expect a response.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I would look at his profile first, if it looks like we have things in common then I'd respond. If not I delete, usually unread. I used to respond to most of my messages but it was turning into a full time job trying to keep up with replies. So for me personally, it's better not to respond at all to people who I'm not interested in. "

Morning MsGivesWood,

Now as somebody who doesn't take himself too serious and I'm fully aware that I'm not everyone's cup of tea. Deleting, even without it being read has to be the best response if there's no interest. Then if another message comes he should expect a potential block.

Much like the other I'm sure your intentions are good and try to respond to as much as you can, so I appreciate your response

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It is difficult to respond to every message, we all have a busy life and guess most ladies use this site to meet like minded guys that interest them. When I receive a message I judge by the first few words if it may be worth looking at the profile, if I like what I see in the profile, I will read the message, if a little effort has been put in to the initial message I will take the time to respond, even if it is a polite "thanks but no thanks." Honestly, it is impossible to read and respond to every message received, I would need to reduce my working hours to be able to fit this in, leaving myself unable to afford to go out! Sometimes, even when you politely respond with a "no thanks," it is not uncommon to then be bombarded with endless begging messages trying to get me to change my mind. We are all on Fab for our own enjoyment, not everyone will be looking for the same, tolerance of others likes and dislikes is imperative. "
begging??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh please shag me I beseech you my life's not complete without you on top of me....... Remember I am.... ' entitled '

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If they were interested they'd reply. Simple as that really. If they get lots if messages they might just scan them quickly and move on to the next one if it's not a "yes".

You might be their type but not what they're looking for right now but you'll never know.

You could mail again after a week or so. If they are the type to get mad at repeat mails after no reply, they'll let you know. If they read your first mail and intended to reply but something happened and they didn't (postman at the door etc) then they'll start chatting.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We do get a lot of messages and reply to most of them, has long has they are not the fancy a fuck, what you up to.. type emails as it clearly states on our profile..Unfortunately because it's Internet land, people will, and can just ignore something that is of no interest to them without a second thought, I don't think there is a real good answer to your question, because of the many ways people will respond to you.I would say, don't hang on for a reply as it might never come,just keep contacting people and in time someone will like what they see and read and will take it further but aways fully read a profile before contacting them to make sure it's what you are looking for and they are looking for...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I always reply if a face pic is attached which is what my profile says even when it's no thank you.

Exception to that is if it's a stupid "I will own/destroy you" or "I want to fuck you raw" type which usually gets blocked as well as deleted.

Do people actually say I will destroy you?"

Some do. Even I get those messages sometimes.

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Morning MsGivesWood,

Much like the other I'm sure your intentions are good and try to respond to as much as you can, so I appreciate your response

Good morning OP, have a lovely day xx

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By *andL13Couple
over a year ago

Darlington

We do our very best to reply to EVERY message, even if it's to say thanks but no thanks.

Rude messages get a rude reply, but a reply nevertheless.

I don't understand why people complain about repeat messages if they never replied to the first one.

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"Oh please shag me I beseech you my life's not complete without you on top of me....... Remember I am.... ' entitled '

The answer is still no...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks for those great responses.

Like I said in the OP I'm happy with my Playlist and usually only message now purely for conversation or as a follow on from a Forum thread.

I use to have a block on Single Men so completely get it, and I often get "Can I suck your bbc" messages which can be annoying. Sometimes I have fun and simply wind them up with witty sarcastic remarks until they get bored (this tends to happen on my 12hr night shift) now I've removed it I either reply No, Delete or Block dependant on my mood. Lol

What I've managed to gleam so far is that rude messages rightly get deleted or blocked. The amount of messages received can determine a reply. The content of the message will also determine if Single Men get a response.

I guess the ones who don't respond won't respond here either. Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’d just forget about it. If they message back, great. If not, move on. It’s how I work anyway

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh please shag me I beseech you my life's not complete without you on top of me....... Remember I am.... ' entitled '

The answer is still no...

"
Ha that made me laugh nit the typed version lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh please shag me I beseech you my life's not complete without you on top of me....... Remember I am.... ' entitled '

The answer is still no...

Ha that made me laugh nit the typed version lol

"
not

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I respond to well thought out messages, but I know that personally, I wouldn’t want a “No, thank you” response and therefore, don’t send them myself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We (mainly I) answer all messages except the usual "fancy a fuck".... I explain how we tend to meet and to keep an eye out for an update on where we'll be so if they still want to meet when we put a meet up, they can contact us.

Obviously 99% of people are full of s#+t and only message knowing full well we can't meet (says on profile , no meet up, can't meet)

So this weekend, when we can meet.... Tumble..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I don't understand why people complain about repeat messages if they never replied to the first one. "

My thoughts exactly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes! Like "I know I'm out of your age range but I do know what I'm doing." "Please give me a chance, you won't be disappointed." The worst one's are like "But you really are missing out on the best, I will prove it to you!""
really they type that OK surprised but if you say it it must be true and if you're one of the guys that be ashamed be very ashamed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes! Like "I know I'm out of your age range but I do know what I'm doing." "Please give me a chance, you won't be disappointed." The worst one's are like "But you really are missing out on the best, I will prove it to you!"really they type that OK surprised but if you say it it must be true and if you're one of the guys that be ashamed be very ashamed

"
that messaged

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I respond to well thought out messages, but I know that personally, I wouldn’t want a “No, thank you” response and therefore, don’t send them myself. "

I'm quite the opposite. I don't mind the rejection, it's great for character building. Lol.

I just hate the unread messages left to fade away. Even spam mail gets deleted

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Stop spending time in your ‘sent’ messages as they are in the past, get on with your life in the present. If people are interested they will respond ... simples!

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By *arleyfanCouple
over a year ago

Dover

OH and I have seperate couples accounts, mine does not allow single guys to message and hers does. We always reply if the message is polite.

You may be surprised how few messages some couples get, she gets maybe 20 views and 1 message and day, this account maybe 4 or 5 views and 1 message every 2-3 weeks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We (mainly I) answer all messages except the usual "fancy a fuck".... I explain how we tend to meet and to keep an eye out for an update on where we'll be so if they still want to meet when we put a meet up, they can contact us.

Obviously 99% of people are full of s#+t and only message knowing full well we can't meet (says on profile , no meet up, can't meet)

So this weekend, when we can meet.... Tumble..

Us Too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I try to respond to any message over two sentences, but even with tight filters it’s a busy inbox and sometimes messages get overlooked. It’s unfortunate but this isn’t a full time job.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Stop spending time in your ‘sent’ messages as they are in the past, get on with your life in the present. If people are interested they will respond ... simples!"

Past + Present = Equals

Thanks for you perspective though

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"OH and I have seperate couples accounts, mine does not allow single guys to message and hers does. We always reply if the message is polite.

You may be surprised how few messages some couples get, she gets maybe 20 views and 1 message and day, this account maybe 4 or 5 views and 1 message every 2-3 weeks"

So could there be a slight exaggeration from Women and Couples who say they have hundreds of messages everyday.

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By *good-being-badMan
over a year ago

mis-types and auto corrects leads cock leeds

"I rarely send new messages now as I'm more than happy with my current "Playmates" (disclaimer)

I completely understand that you get a million messages a day!

However...

He is not your type and doesn't do anything for you, but he really likes you and your profile.

You don't delete his message and don't respond either

How does he know you're not interested?

What's the length of time that he should wait before trying to message again, as you may of missed it amongst the million of messages?

Should he message again when he got no response initially, if not why?

Is it not just easier to delete or simply say there's no interest?

Send your answers on a Postcard...

I'm pretty sure this has been asked before..

No reply = no interest,

Concentrate on your inbox not the outbox makes zero difference no what the messages status has..

I can understand the need for closure, I can, I've never understood why guys want an inbox full of "no thanks" messages while you're reading them the lady or couple who might have said yes are messaged by another guy..

Concentrate on your inbox ignore your outbox.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Stop spending time in your ‘sent’ messages as they are in the past, get on with your life in the present. If people are interested they will respond ... simples!

Past + Present = Future

Thanks for you perspective though

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