FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to Swingers Chat

Open Relationship

Jump to newest
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

So I’ve started seeing this women, she is very sexual like myself, she knows I swing and she is saying she’d be up for trying stuff when she back from her travels.

She has said Just in normal conversation that she doesn’t think that Monogamous relationship are all that natural. So what I’d like to know from people with experience, how do the logistics of an open relationship work in your experience?

Say she was to go out and meet somone fuck them and then that’s it, would it be that she would “tell” me first or tell me after? And vis Vera if that was me meeting somone?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

In my opinion you need to have lots of very open and honest conversation, there are no rules that work for everybody.

You must decide between you what you are both comfortable with, what you wish to know and what is at the other person's discretion, and what is ok or not ok to do with other people.

In my opinion it can work very well as long as your communication is good and you are both in agreement.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's no set rules or logistics. Each relationship is different so you need to be open and honest with each other about your wants and expectations.

You need to set your own rules and be prepared to compromise and make changes as things develop. Be prepared for your feelings and be open in discussing any issues.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

[Removed by poster at 21/06/18 13:35:04]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's as simple as you must be honest and open. The second you're not the marriage stops working. Communication and discussion is key, regular checks ins with each other. Making sure the open part is the extra to the marriage which is the main priority x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends how you both agree you want it to work. No one set way. "More than Two" book may be useful as starter reading to look at ways to do things.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends what you're looking for. As a very basic (and no doubt controversial) rule of thumb I'd say if what you're looking to do is include others in your sex life then swinging can be a positive addition to your burgeoning relationship with this woman. If, however, what you're each (or one of you) is looking to do is have one on one meets with other people away from each other then it's likely you don't mean an awful lot to each other and therefore it's likely to pull you apart. Good luck

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *oodnitegirlWoman
over a year ago

Yorkshire

I have one, and like your friend, don’t find monogamy natural at all.

He does his thing, I do mine. We are open about where we are going and what we are doing but come together at the end of it all. In ‘vanilla life’ we Go to family do’s together, share the bills etc etc, so to the outside world we are ‘normal’, they just don’t know what goes on behind closed doors.

Most refreshing and fun thing EVER.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *oodnitegirlWoman
over a year ago

Yorkshire


" Making sure the open part is the extra to the marriage which is the main priority x"

This

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I have one, and like your friend, don’t find monogamy natural at all.

He does his thing, I do mine. We are open about where we are going and what we are doing but come together at the end of it all. In ‘vanilla life’ we Go to family do’s together, share the bills etc etc, so to the outside world we are ‘normal’, they just don’t know what goes on behind closed doors.

Most refreshing and fun thing EVER."

I think this is what I’d want it to be, I’ve been on here for a wile now and she’s the only perSon I’ve felt I can be fully honest with about what I do, she wants to try a few things, so I’m thinking maybe we should start off with soft swing with another couple then go from there to start off with?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *oodnitegirlWoman
over a year ago

Yorkshire

Yes. Or a local social so she can see they aren’t all Jeremy Kyle fodder

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Yeah it was thinking maybe even a club? Kestrals was my closest one but that’s gone now unfortunately

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have one, and like your friend, don’t find monogamy natural at all.

He does his thing, I do mine. We are open about where we are going and what we are doing but come together at the end of it all. In ‘vanilla life’ we Go to family do’s together, share the bills etc etc, so to the outside world we are ‘normal’, they just don’t know what goes on behind closed doors.

Most refreshing and fun thing EVER.

I think this is what I’d want it to be, I’ve been on here for a wile now and she’s the only perSon I’ve felt I can be fully honest with about what I do, she wants to try a few things, so I’m thinking maybe we should start off with soft swing with another couple then go from there to start off with? "

If neither of you have a problem with hiring independent escorts I'd strongly advise you to start by having a threesome with a female escort. You can both look through the pics, agree on who takes your fancy, agree what it is you'd like to do together and how long that's likely to take. Then book her. If you've chosen wisely (i.e not some 18 yr old with a profile obviously written by her pimp) then you should both find the experience very easy and awesomely sexy.

Once you've decided you like it you can go through the HOOPS (and the wringer) trying to set up something similar on here.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I don’t find how getting an escort would be better than finding someone on here, on here you can filter though people, talk to them see if you get along, set rules ect.

I’d rather use here than paying for somone

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *oodnitegirlWoman
over a year ago

Yorkshire


"I don’t find how getting an escort would be better than finding someone on here, on here you can filter though people, talk to them see if you get along, set rules ect.

I’d rather use here than paying for somone "

Good luck finding a single lady though. You’ll still be trying when you’re 90 lol

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If, however, what you're each (or one of you) is looking to do is have one on one meets with other people away from each other then it's likely you don't mean an awful lot to each other and therefore it's likely to pull you apart."

This is not the case for all and having an open relationship where the partners meet others, can and does work successfully for some people.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don’t find how getting an escort would be better than finding someone on here, on here you can filter though people, talk to them see if you get along, set rules ect.

I’d rather use here than paying for somone

Good luck finding a single lady though. You’ll still be trying when you’re 90 lol"

As I said. You can easily and quickly setup a wonderful optimum first experience. Whet your partner's appetite. And then see if you want to try doing it for real on here.

Compared to that, navigating Fab, socials with couples, let alone finding a couple who you both find potentially attractive, hurdling timewasters, fantasists, fakes, and the chronically nervous people who go unlos in a heartbeat... you'll get sick of it before you've even tried it... well she probably will.

You could try taking her to a club. But I know that can be daunting for quite a lot of women... plus the stigma of it being a sex club.

It's just my advice. But it's good advice. As a rule of thumb any time you introduce an important person to one of your most beloved hobbies you want to try and make sure the first time is a real corker. First impressions count.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don’t find how getting an escort would be better than finding someone on here, on here you can filter though people, talk to them see if you get along, set rules ect.

I’d rather use here than paying for somone

Good luck finding a single lady though. You’ll still be trying when you’re 90 lol

As I said. You can easily and quickly setup a wonderful optimum first experience. Whet your partner's appetite. And then see if you want to try doing it for real on here.

Compared to that, navigating Fab, socials with couples, let alone finding a couple who you both find potentially attractive, hurdling timewasters, fantasists, fakes, and the chronically nervous people who go unlos in a heartbeat... you'll get sick of it before you've even tried it... well she probably will.

You could try taking her to a club. But I know that can be daunting for quite a lot of women... plus the stigma of it being a sex club.

It's just my advice. But it's good advice. As a rule of thumb any time you introduce an important person to one of your most beloved hobbies you want to try and make sure the first time is a real corker. First impressions count. "

I know you’re trying to help but hiring a sex worker is a bad idea....

Most women are turned off by this and she might assume hiring sex workers is his regular habit.....

Just take your time Op and your relationship will flow. Try introducing her to some couples you have met.... and get a new Couples profile...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You make your own rules. But honestly and being open with each other are key to a successful open relationship. Maybe even being as vague as her saying I want to pull tonight rather than her having to get you to approve the guy.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *oodnitegirlWoman
over a year ago

Yorkshire

I’d love a man to hire me a sex worker. I’d find it quite hot!*

*That’s just me though and I’m weird.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don’t find how getting an escort would be better than finding someone on here, on here you can filter though people, talk to them see if you get along, set rules ect.

I’d rather use here than paying for somone

Good luck finding a single lady though. You’ll still be trying when you’re 90 lol"

I'm half way there then .. lol x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don’t find how getting an escort would be better than finding someone on here, on here you can filter though people, talk to them see if you get along, set rules ect.

I’d rather use here than paying for somone

Good luck finding a single lady though. You’ll still be trying when you’re 90 lol

As I said. You can easily and quickly setup a wonderful optimum first experience. Whet your partner's appetite. And then see if you want to try doing it for real on here.

Compared to that, navigating Fab, socials with couples, let alone finding a couple who you both find potentially attractive, hurdling timewasters, fantasists, fakes, and the chronically nervous people who go unlos in a heartbeat... you'll get sick of it before you've even tried it... well she probably will.

You could try taking her to a club. But I know that can be daunting for quite a lot of women... plus the stigma of it being a sex club.

It's just my advice. But it's good advice. As a rule of thumb any time you introduce an important person to one of your most beloved hobbies you want to try and make sure the first time is a real corker. First impressions count.

I know you’re trying to help but hiring a sex worker is a bad idea....

Most women are turned off by this and she might assume hiring sex workers is his regular habit.....

Just take your time Op and your relationship will flow. Try introducing her to some couples you have met.... and get a new Couples profile...

"

I did preface my advice by saying if they were both ok with hiring a sex worker. It's really easy to ask "would you like to try a threesome?" Then if it's a yes say "I don't know how it's done. Do you have any one in mind or shall we Google for an escort?" It should be easy to assert you haven't done it before and that you'd ideally prefer a "real" woman as that's the truth. If the woman has problems with any of this it doesn't bode well for the rest of the venture.

Compared to inviting a super sexy porn star escort into your bed for her to do her mind blowing tricks on you both... couples on Fab may be a bit of a frustrating and somewhat limp sandwich. Just saying

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"You make your own rules. But honestly and being open with each other are key to a successful open relationship. Maybe even being as vague as her saying I want to pull tonight rather than her having to get you to approve the guy. "

Yeah then sometimes you could switch between how much we wanna know ect, like from going “I’m gonna pull” to “who should I pull” could be fun

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don’t find how getting an escort would be better than finding someone on here, on here you can filter though people, talk to them see if you get along, set rules ect.

I’d rather use here than paying for somone

Good luck finding a single lady though. You’ll still be trying when you’re 90 lol

As I said. You can easily and quickly setup a wonderful optimum first experience. Whet your partner's appetite. And then see if you want to try doing it for real on here.

Compared to that, navigating Fab, socials with couples, let alone finding a couple who you both find potentially attractive, hurdling timewasters, fantasists, fakes, and the chronically nervous people who go unlos in a heartbeat... you'll get sick of it before you've even tried it... well she probably will.

You could try taking her to a club. But I know that can be daunting for quite a lot of women... plus the stigma of it being a sex club.

It's just my advice. But it's good advice. As a rule of thumb any time you introduce an important person to one of your most beloved hobbies you want to try and make sure the first time is a real corker. First impressions count.

I know you’re trying to help but hiring a sex worker is a bad idea....

Most women are turned off by this and she might assume hiring sex workers is his regular habit.....

Just take your time Op and your relationship will flow. Try introducing her to some couples you have met.... and get a new Couples profile...

I did preface my advice by saying if they were both ok with hiring a sex worker. It's really easy to ask "would you like to try a threesome?" Then if it's a yes say "I don't know how it's done. Do you have any one in mind or shall we Google for an escort?" It should be easy to assert you haven't done it before and that you'd ideally prefer a "real" woman as that's the truth. If the woman has problems with any of this it doesn't bode well for the rest of the venture.

Compared to inviting a super sexy porn star escort into your bed for her to do her mind blowing tricks on you both... couples on Fab may be a bit of a frustrating and somewhat limp sandwich. Just saying "

I’ve heard from co workers... sex with escorts is very mechanical....

So introducing someone to a swinging/open relationship isn’t the best idea if the sex worker is watching the clock...

When meeting new people it can take hours of socializing before everyone is ready to play...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don’t find how getting an escort would be better than finding someone on here, on here you can filter though people, talk to them see if you get along, set rules ect.

I’d rather use here than paying for somone

Good luck finding a single lady though. You’ll still be trying when you’re 90 lol

As I said. You can easily and quickly setup a wonderful optimum first experience. Whet your partner's appetite. And then see if you want to try doing it for real on here.

Compared to that, navigating Fab, socials with couples, let alone finding a couple who you both find potentially attractive, hurdling timewasters, fantasists, fakes, and the chronically nervous people who go unlos in a heartbeat... you'll get sick of it before you've even tried it... well she probably will.

You could try taking her to a club. But I know that can be daunting for quite a lot of women... plus the stigma of it being a sex club.

It's just my advice. But it's good advice. As a rule of thumb any time you introduce an important person to one of your most beloved hobbies you want to try and make sure the first time is a real corker. First impressions count.

I know you’re trying to help but hiring a sex worker is a bad idea....

Most women are turned off by this and she might assume hiring sex workers is his regular habit.....

Just take your time Op and your relationship will flow. Try introducing her to some couples you have met.... and get a new Couples profile...

I did preface my advice by saying if they were both ok with hiring a sex worker. It's really easy to ask "would you like to try a threesome?" Then if it's a yes say "I don't know how it's done. Do you have any one in mind or shall we Google for an escort?" It should be easy to assert you haven't done it before and that you'd ideally prefer a "real" woman as that's the truth. If the woman has problems with any of this it doesn't bode well for the rest of the venture.

Compared to inviting a super sexy porn star escort into your bed for her to do her mind blowing tricks on you both... couples on Fab may be a bit of a frustrating and somewhat limp sandwich. Just saying

I’ve heard from co workers... sex with escorts is very mechanical....

So introducing someone to a swinging/open relationship isn’t the best idea if the sex worker is watching the clock...

When meeting new people it can take hours of socializing before everyone is ready to play..."

Again, in my original post that got cut off this I said if they choose wisely it should be great. If not (18 yr old whose profile is clearly written by a pimp) it could be awful.

Unemotional sex with others is mechanical full fucking stop. Be it swingers or escorts. If mechanical sex isn't your thing then you're going to need to hold out for the hope a threesome with friends lands in your lap. Good luck with that one.

I went through a phase of seeing independent escorts a few years back and it was rarely bad and sometimes surprisingly good. I only finished as I realised the whole unemotional side, be it swinging or escorting, wasn't my thing. That's why I now prefer having sex with women I'm dating with a possibility of falling in love.

On the clock counting side, for many couples after the sex is done they want the others gone. So doing it in a time frame may be a bonus

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don’t find how getting an escort would be better than finding someone on here, on here you can filter though people, talk to them see if you get along, set rules ect.

I’d rather use here than paying for somone

Good luck finding a single lady though. You’ll still be trying when you’re 90 lol

As I said. You can easily and quickly setup a wonderful optimum first experience. Whet your partner's appetite. And then see if you want to try doing it for real on here.

Compared to that, navigating Fab, socials with couples, let alone finding a couple who you both find potentially attractive, hurdling timewasters, fantasists, fakes, and the chronically nervous people who go unlos in a heartbeat... you'll get sick of it before you've even tried it... well she probably will.

You could try taking her to a club. But I know that can be daunting for quite a lot of women... plus the stigma of it being a sex club.

It's just my advice. But it's good advice. As a rule of thumb any time you introduce an important person to one of your most beloved hobbies you want to try and make sure the first time is a real corker. First impressions count.

I know you’re trying to help but hiring a sex worker is a bad idea....

Most women are turned off by this and she might assume hiring sex workers is his regular habit.....

Just take your time Op and your relationship will flow. Try introducing her to some couples you have met.... and get a new Couples profile...

I did preface my advice by saying if they were both ok with hiring a sex worker. It's really easy to ask "would you like to try a threesome?" Then if it's a yes say "I don't know how it's done. Do you have any one in mind or shall we Google for an escort?" It should be easy to assert you haven't done it before and that you'd ideally prefer a "real" woman as that's the truth. If the woman has problems with any of this it doesn't bode well for the rest of the venture.

Compared to inviting a super sexy porn star escort into your bed for her to do her mind blowing tricks on you both... couples on Fab may be a bit of a frustrating and somewhat limp sandwich. Just saying

I’ve heard from co workers... sex with escorts is very mechanical....

So introducing someone to a swinging/open relationship isn’t the best idea if the sex worker is watching the clock...

When meeting new people it can take hours of socializing before everyone is ready to play...

Again, in my original post that got cut off this I said if they choose wisely it should be great. If not (18 yr old whose profile is clearly written by a pimp) it could be awful.

Unemotional sex with others is mechanical full fucking stop. Be it swingers or escorts. If mechanical sex isn't your thing then you're going to need to hold out for the hope a threesome with friends lands in your lap. Good luck with that one.

I went through a phase of seeing independent escorts a few years back and it was rarely bad and sometimes surprisingly good. I only finished as I realised the whole unemotional side, be it swinging or escorting, wasn't my thing. That's why I now prefer having sex with women I'm dating with a possibility of falling in love.

On the clock counting side, for many couples after the sex is done they want the others gone. So doing it in a time frame may be a bonus "

Great point.... ok maybe I was wrong......

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Great point.... ok maybe I was wrong......"

Haha What makes me think I won that too easily and that sometime, down the darkened recesses of a swinging club, I'm gonna get whalloped around the back of the head by a big black cock

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *orticiaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral


"You make your own rules. But honestly and being open with each other are key to a successful open relationship. Maybe even being as vague as her saying I want to pull tonight rather than her having to get you to approve the guy.

Yeah then sometimes you could switch between how much we wanna know ect, like from going “I’m gonna pull” to “who should I pull” could be fun "

Gomez & I played very successfully both as a couple & separately purely because we agreed our own rules at the start. Talk to her, agree what is & isn’t ok for both of you & communicate all the time. As you go, you will adapt & change and your rules probably will too, but ultimately it has to be something you are both comfortable with for it to work.

Totally agree though, monogamy is not a healthy set up (for me anyway!)

Good luck OP

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m in an open relationship. If I have a meet I’ll discuss with my husband first. However, my fuck buddy has very little time and we almost never plan, so I’ll text my husband after to say he was here (and that is fine).

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’d love a man to hire me a sex worker. I’d find it quite hot!*

*That’s just me though and I’m weird. "

I love the idea of that too

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago

Stoke area

Open relationships can work really well. You need to discuss any rules . Most importantly honesty is the key. If one of the partners meets someone behind the others back , then problems arise. But, discuss how you both feel and what you want, like and dislike....all should be amazing

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *izzaMan
over a year ago

Aylesbury

I would also like to add:

Her feelings come before yours, as yours for her.

So when you both are playing and one of you are not enjoying yourself, forget about everyone else, yourself and make sure she is ok!

Hope this helps.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 22/06/18 00:02:09]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top