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Advice please

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Hi all i`m just wondering if you could give me some advice please on when i send people a first message.

I always introduce myself, come across well mannered & nice. I`m never rude or anything like. But i find most of my messages, get deleted. I always attach a face picture to my my message as well. Now i know not everyone can reply all the time, and i`m sure all you ladies & lovely couples get plenty of mail.

Sometimes i just wish i would get a nice thanks but no thanks, is there any way i can improve on what i put into a message? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Dave

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham

Its probably not your messages.i assume you are only messaging ppl who u fit the profile of,if thats the case then u just have to accept that the numbers are against you and be patient.

polite and facepic works

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow

+1

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham

just checked your profile...no face pics,a few typos and looking for long term (in some ppls minds= commitment) are all working against you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You are going to find that the vast majority of your messages will be deleted m8, no matter what you say to people. assuming that you aren't in and out of your sent itrms box every minute there's no way to tell if the mails habe been read and deleted or just binned. you aren't a member so u cant see if anyone has looked at ýour profile either.

It does help to read peoples profiles and write about what you liked, althoigh you may be doing this already. keeping an eye on the status list is also a good way to make your messages personal too

I'd also say get yoursef a decent body shot for an avatar picture and re write your profile wolith the preferences and fantasies that you were going to put onto it when u first wrote it

Unfortunately,, however, you wi find that most of your mails get binned, try toail them again in a couple or three weeks time?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi peps. I have the same issue, I send messages that are polite & let them know a bit about me & will send face photo if asked but still no joy. Feel like giving up :-/ will be going to chams soon, hope I get in with my locks because I think people think I'm a dealer or something other.

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By *obletonMan
over a year ago

A Home Among The Woodland Creatures


"Hi peps. I have the same issue, I send messages that are polite & let them know a bit about me & will send face photo if asked but still no joy. Feel like giving up :-/ will be going to chams soon, hope I get in with my locks because I think people think I'm a dealer or something other."

I've had a look at your profile and you come across as an intelligent sort of bloke - but like a lot of guys - even otherwise smart ones - you have a blind spot when it comes to sites like fabswingers.

You see this site is not a game-changer. The rules of attraction work on here in exactly the same way as they do in the real world.

Now you strike me as the sort of bloke who has been able to attract a woman at least from time to time in a real life setting - so tell me this - when it last happened was the first thing she saw of you your cock flopping out of your trousers?

No right?

Would you ever do that in a serious attempt to attract a woman?

No again right?

So why then, is the first - and in fact the only - thing anyone sees of you your cock?

Are you starting to see what I mean about a blind spot?

You see just because this is a "sex site" (not really a term I agree with but that's another discussion) doesn't mean that the rules suddenly change - women are still going to be attracted by and attracted to the same things regardless - they just happen to be a little more open minded about sex and you'll get to it quicker once you have gotten over the initial hurdle of establishing an attraction in the first place.

So I can't tell you what pics to put up or what to say on your profile - because you actually stike me as the kind of bloke who already knows - you just got yourself caught in the fabswingers-is-a-sex-site blind spot and it set you back a bit.

Think about what you would do in the real world - that's what's going to work for you on here.

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By *earhugs1Couple
over a year ago

Glasgow

Ooh. Good post _obleton. Dont want cock pics as first pic I see of someone. K x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lose the dick pic!

You're saying you're a nice guy and all that and that's your only available pic? Come on man.

Apart from that, You soun like a sound guy. Women are just as picky here as they are off site. Plus, think about what you want from the site and look for women with similar interests looking for guys like you.

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham


"Hi peps. I have the same issue, I send messages that are polite & let them know a bit about me & will send face photo if asked but still no joy. Feel like giving up :-/ will be going to chams soon, hope I get in with my locks because I think people think I'm a dealer or something other.

I've had a look at your profile and you come across as an intelligent sort of bloke - but like a lot of guys - even otherwise smart ones - you have a blind spot when it comes to sites like .

You see this site is not a game-changer. The rules of attraction work on here in exactly the same way as they do in the real world.

Now you strike me as the sort of bloke who has been able to attract a woman at least from time to time in a real life setting - so tell me this - when it last happened was the first thing she saw of you your cock flopping out of your trousers?

No right?

Would you ever do that in a serious attempt to attract a woman?

No again right?

So why then, is the first - and in fact the only - thing anyone sees of you your cock?

Are you starting to see what I mean about a blind spot?

You see just because this is a "sex site" (not really a term I agree with but that's another discussion) doesn't mean that the rules suddenly change - women are still going to be attracted by and attracted to the same things regardless - they just happen to be a little more open minded about sex and you'll get to it quicker once you have gotten over the initial hurdle of establishing an attraction in the first place.

So I can't tell you what pics to put up or what to say on your profile - because you actually stike me as the kind of bloke who already knows - you just got yourself caught in the fabswingers-is-a-sex-site blind spot and it set you back a bit.

Think about what you would do in the real world - that's what's going to work for you on here.

"

Seriously great post!

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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

Agrees with puddlefuck....very good post

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Agrees with puddlefuck....very good post"

Agreed too. I don't think we'll see _obleton posting in here about not getting meets! Ms

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah I agree great post.

As to where all those lost messages and posts go too???

Always thought atleast a "sorry but your not my type but good luck" return message is not too much to ask...... Well that's what I reply if that's the case.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The problem with sending polite thanks but no thanks replies is that all too often it's met with abuse or a demand as to why not etc. thats sadly why so many people find it easier not to reply. If someone is interested they will reply and if you're messaging single ladies don't forget that they easily receive 50 plus messages a day every day.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I see your point! I guess it's easy when your a bloke, that one message a month (if your lucky).

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By *esmond70Man
over a year ago

tavistock

i have the same problem im always polite attatch a facial pic perhaps they use my pic for halloween lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"i have the same problem im always polite attatch a facial pic perhaps they use my pic for halloween lol"

likes to answer polite, well presented messages, some of them make my day.

Wolf

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By *obletonMan
over a year ago

A Home Among The Woodland Creatures


"i have the same problem im always polite attatch a facial pic perhaps they use my pic for halloween lol"

I often hear people say something along similar lines of "I always send a polite message"

Now there's nothing wrong with being polite, but let's say you phrased your comment differently but ended up with the same meaning - let's say you said:

"I never send deliberately insulting messages"

Now all of a sudden other people's perception of that is going to change.

"I should bloody well hope not!" and "well surely that's the least you should be doing" would be the likely responses.

so by sending a "polite" message, all you have done is acheive the absolute bare minimum to be a tolerated member of society - you haven't stood out in any way shape or form.

Thinking about another way and taking on what I said in a previous post in this thread about doing what's going to work in the real world, imagine 2 scenarios where you are talking to a girl in a bar.

Scenario 1 - you are being polite to her

Scenario 2 - you are funny, cheeky, challenging - or in some other way demonstrate that you have a strong personality.

which of those 2 scenarios do you think is most likely to get you some?

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By *un_JuiceCouple
over a year ago

Nr Chester

An issue we have but accept reasons for is those that can only travel and not accom or refuse to.

Personally if we trust someone enough to share intimacy and into our house then one pic, an msn contact addy and a tesco ten pound pay as you blow phone .. Just giving you an idea really that these circumstances would not be enough for us to trust someone implicitly, particularly with only one verification.

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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey


"Hi all i`m just wondering if you could give me some advice please on when i send people a first message.

I always introduce myself, come across well mannered & nice. I`m never rude or anything like. But i find most of my messages, get deleted. I always attach a face picture to my my message as well. Now i know not everyone can reply all the time, and i`m sure all you ladies & lovely couples get plenty of mail.

Sometimes i just wish i would get a nice thanks but no thanks, is there any way i can improve on what i put into a message? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Dave "

What message will work for one person, won't for another.

If you don't already, maybe try including something in your message that shows you have read the profile.

Some people see no reply as a no thank you. Don't take it personally.

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By *esmond70Man
over a year ago

tavistock

ive had lots of no replies never take it personaly. i must be scarey lol would a gimp mask help x

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