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Oral - to not do is that selfish?

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By *ollipopLilly OP   Woman
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

Whether male or female, if one party loves it and the other never bothers to do it, is this considered selfish?

Discuss

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Whether male or female, if one party loves it and the other never bothers to do it, is this considered selfish?

Discuss "

My ex wife did this, never went anywhere near me. To be honest it left me very guarded about people’s enthusiasm for oral sex

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No - it's personnal preference.

If some particular activity is important to you, then discuss it first and give both parties the decision to continue or not...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you’re happy to receive, you should be happy to give

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No - it's personnal preference.

If some particular activity is important to you, then discuss it first and give both parties the decision to continue or not...

"

. And some just want to give ...

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I don't like receiving. Is it selfish of me to ask a man who loves giving not to do it? Should I endure something I don't like in an effort to be unselfish?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't want to receive from someone who didn't like doing it. If it feels like a chore how is that a turn on for either party?

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I understand that some people really find giving it distasteful. For others, it's a bit like sharing chores at home, sharing is a good thing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m having this exact predicament. I’ve been seeing someone from Fab for a while now and whilst everything is good in bed, he just never does it! Not even with gentle steering

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’m having this exact predicament. I’ve been seeing someone from Fab for a while now and whilst everything is good in bed, he just never does it! Not even with gentle steering "

Ask him why ? In a subtle way of course

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’m having this exact predicament. I’ve been seeing someone from Fab for a while now and whilst everything is good in bed, he just never does it! Not even with gentle steering

Ask him why ? In a subtle way of course"

I kinda have and he said that he wasn’t adverse and that it just hadn’t happened.. but now a month later it still hasn’t lol

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By *loswingersCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

I love receiving , but I never give .

I’m not sure why , I just never have .

It doesn’t matter though because my wife isn’t bothered at all . She loves to give in every way and isn’t fussed about receiving .

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By *ubmissive guyMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

Sit on his face, if he pushes you away, you know he doesnt like it lol, surely a guy should give everytime, unless the Woman says she doesnt enjoy it.

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By *aven RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool


"If you’re happy to receive, you should be happy to give "

Totally agree. Nobody likes selfish x

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet


"If you’re happy to receive, you should be happy to give "

Deffo.

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By *inful xWoman
over a year ago

In a sleepy little village


"If you’re happy to receive, you should be happy to give

Totally agree. Nobody likes selfish x"

This

I won't meet people who aren't into mutual satisfaction. It's top of my list and is non negotiable

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

Personal preference of course but I wouldn't meet anyone that wasn't keen on oral sex!

I'm wondering if I should ask the question now!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes it's selfish. People must always do what the tick boxes say on their profiles and also the same sex acts that others do to them. Otherwise they aren't Genuine Swingers.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some people may be selfish and want more than they can be bothered to give. Some won't give because they reserve it for relationships; but are happy to receive.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No - it's personnal preference.

If some particular activity is important to you, then discuss it first and give both parties the decision to continue or not...

. And some just want to give ..."

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By *exy Black JenWoman
over a year ago

London/Eastbourne weekends


"I’m having this exact predicament. I’ve been seeing someone from Fab for a while now and whilst everything is good in bed, he just never does it! Not even with gentle steering

Ask him why ? In a subtle way of course

I kinda have and he said that he wasn’t adverse and that it just hadn’t happened.. but now a month later it still hasn’t lol "

I would definitely ask him, directly, as I'm assuming that you are giving him oral...if he isn't into it, then great for him, but stop giving him oral...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fuck knows, I like both types.

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By *hors.HammerMan
over a year ago

Newbridge

I dated a girl for 3 years that would revive but never once have in the whole time we were together

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By *oTouchPleaseAndTeaseMan
over a year ago

Harlow

Love to give

Have to control when receiving, so will get back down again.

Trick works for me in all ways

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By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

Nobody has to to anything to anyone they don’t want to and if the other party behaves like a spoilt brat, leave.

Anal, rimming, spanking or any other sexual activity is optional and does not have to be reciprocated.

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By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London


"I’m having this exact predicament. I’ve been seeing someone from Fab for a while now and whilst everything is good in bed, he just never does it! Not even with gentle steering

Ask him why ? In a subtle way of course

I kinda have and he said that he wasn’t adverse and that it just hadn’t happened.. but now a month later it still hasn’t lol

I would definitely ask him, directly, as I'm assuming that you are giving him oral...if he isn't into it, then great for him, but stop giving him oral..."

Why should she stop? She might get huge enjoyment from it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’m having this exact predicament. I’ve been seeing someone from Fab for a while now and whilst everything is good in bed, he just never does it! Not even with gentle steering

Ask him why ? In a subtle way of course

I kinda have and he said that he wasn’t adverse and that it just hadn’t happened.. but now a month later it still hasn’t lol

I would definitely ask him, directly, as I'm assuming that you are giving him oral...if he isn't into it, then great for him, but stop giving him oral...

Why should she stop? She might get huge enjoyment from it."

I do, for me it’s all part of the play.. but apparently not for him. I shall just keep nudging him and see what happens. Not sure what else to do. It’s a bit of a bummer as the rest of it is great!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Also just had a vile message from someone on this thread and then they blocked me having never spoken to me. What a lovely couple you are..

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By *layfulAussieMan
over a year ago

Sydney

All balance and understanding I say.

I'm am absolutely oral obsessive so, I'm sorry but I am going to spend a long time with my head between your legs but... if I know someone's not so keen on it (giving), absolutely no pressure or feeling of selfishness....

Just my opinion

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hate the tit for tat attitude around oral sex in particular. Just because I enjoy sucking someone’s dick doesn’t mean that he should enjoy or be coerced into licking my pussy. We are all different, we enjoy different things, nobody should ever feel like they ‘must’ do something just because something has been done to them.

Quite worrying frankly that some people, mainly women from what I can see, have the attitude that a guy who doesn’t like doing it should be coerced into doing so. If you didn’t like sucking a dick should a guy just put it in your mouth anyway?

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By *acca19701Man
over a year ago

Birmingham

Love to give and if i receive it shows we both enjoying it x

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By *loswingersCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester


"Also just had a vile message from someone on this thread and then they blocked me having never spoken to me. What a lovely couple you are.. "

That’s very odd because it certainly wasn’t us , and the only other couple on the thread are mods ..... very strange

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By *ollipopLilly OP   Woman
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

Thanks guys for the debate. I've personally had varying experiences. Had partners who indulged in it and we enjoyed the mutual pleasure. I've had a relationship where he never did and turned out to be one of the deal breakers in the end as well as long other factors of course (didn't realise it means that much to me until then). I also would have never forced him. I've also had the dudes who say oh I love giving oral then when it comes down to it they never bother and it's frustrating. Of course I move on as I know I deserve to have my needs met by someone who honestly shares the same desires.

I've also realised it's a deal breaker for me personally as I've only ever came from oral.

What do people think about that aspect of things? If for a woman that's her only way of climaxing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's all just a matter of taste !!!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thanks guys for the debate. I've personally had varying experiences. Had partners who indulged in it and we enjoyed the mutual pleasure. I've had a relationship where he never did and turned out to be one of the deal breakers in the end as well as long other factors of course (didn't realise it means that much to me until then). I also would have never forced him. I've also had the dudes who say oh I love giving oral then when it comes down to it they never bother and it's frustrating. Of course I move on as I know I deserve to have my needs met by someone who honestly shares the same desires.

I've also realised it's a deal breaker for me personally as I've only ever came from oral.

What do people think about that aspect of things? If for a woman that's her only way of climaxing."

If that’s the case then find someone who enjoys it... plenty of people do

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Also just had a vile message from someone on this thread and then they blocked me having never spoken to me. What a lovely couple you are.. "

If you get abusive messages report them to admin. They'll take appropriate action.

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

The only thing I find selfish is if you expect oral but not willing to reciprocate that is selfish, unless the other partner is happy with it after discussing it then all is fine

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I really enjoy giving, but am not bothered about receiving. I've even been known to physically take a mans head from between my thighs. I suppose on some level that would be also deemed as selfish, if that person derived pleasure from the act. It's mainly about communication. If someone is not happy with it or finds it distasteful, surely they shouldn't feel obligated to carry that act out, in order to please someone else? I personally wouldn't want someone to do something to me that they found a turn off.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The only thing I find selfish is if you expect oral but not willing to reciprocate that is selfish, unless the other partner is happy with it after discussing it then all is fine "

I've found that almost every man from here expects their dick sucked. Very few reciprocate and I don't ask for it, as I don't want a half-hearted 20 second lick. Some do it, but not with the women from here, or only ones that must deserve it.

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By *ollipopLilly OP   Woman
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne


"Thanks guys for the debate. I've personally had varying experiences. Had partners who indulged in it and we enjoyed the mutual pleasure. I've had a relationship where he never did and turned out to be one of the deal breakers in the end as well as long other factors of course (didn't realise it means that much to me until then). I also would have never forced him. I've also had the dudes who say oh I love giving oral then when it comes down to it they never bother and it's frustrating. Of course I move on as I know I deserve to have my needs met by someone who honestly shares the same desires.

I've also realised it's a deal breaker for me personally as I've only ever came from oral.

What do people think about that aspect of things? If for a woman that's her only way of climaxing.

If that’s the case then find someone who enjoys it... plenty of people do "

I know that's why I said I've moved on when our needs don't match. I just find it a little awkward though like saying yeah sorry mate, I need a scuba diver. Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thanks guys for the debate. I've personally had varying experiences. Had partners who indulged in it and we enjoyed the mutual pleasure. I've had a relationship where he never did and turned out to be one of the deal breakers in the end as well as long other factors of course (didn't realise it means that much to me until then). I also would have never forced him. I've also had the dudes who say oh I love giving oral then when it comes down to it they never bother and it's frustrating. Of course I move on as I know I deserve to have my needs met by someone who honestly shares the same desires.

I've also realised it's a deal breaker for me personally as I've only ever came from oral.

What do people think about that aspect of things? If for a woman that's her only way of climaxing.

If that’s the case then find someone who enjoys it... plenty of people do

I know that's why I said I've moved on when our needs don't match. I just find it a little awkward though like saying yeah sorry mate, I need a scuba diver. Lol "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Whether male or female, if one party loves it and the other never bothers to do it, is this considered selfish?

Discuss "

No. It just means your not compatable x

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By *ollipopLilly OP   Woman
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

[Removed by poster at 09/06/18 21:44:55]

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen


"The only thing I find selfish is if you expect oral but not willing to reciprocate that is selfish, unless the other partner is happy with it after discussing it then all is fine

I've found that almost every man from here expects their dick sucked. Very few reciprocate and I don't ask for it, as I don't want a half-hearted 20 second lick. Some do it, but not with the women from here, or only ones that must deserve it.

"

That is why I said discussion is important, there's not much you can do if a potential partner lies outright!

Apart from tell him to fuck off of course, which I have done in the past and the look of shock on his face was a picture!

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By *ollipopLilly OP   Woman
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne


"It's all just a matter of taste !!!!!!"

If that's the case then men need to make sure they taste good too. I mean cum can taste all kinda ways (I've generally never been bothered). Or worst if they haven't like cleaned prior the act.

For example some guy asked me once to satisfy him after some sports thing but told me he wasn't showering after. I mean come on, really? I politely declined of course.

My point is I'd never dream of being unclean for someone. I'm OCD about that stuff anyway to the point where I'll turn down sex acts if I don't feel comfortable that I am clean the the standard I want myself to be.

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By *ynecplCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

I love giving oral but Mrs does not like receiving so when we are having sex I concentrate on what she likes not the bits she doesn't.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My ex-wife refused to give or receive as she felt it wasn't 'nice'.

I've since discovered that I love to give and receive, particularly give

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you’re happy to receive, you should be happy to give "

Not necessarily. It might be a big turn off and so make sex a chore. Slowly resentment builds and I'd say so would meeting that person.

Surely we do things because we enjoy them and wouldn't do somethings to someone else if we knew they didn't enjoy it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The only thing I find selfish is if you expect oral but not willing to reciprocate that is selfish, unless the other partner is happy with it after discussing it then all is fine

I've found that almost every man from here expects their dick sucked. Very few reciprocate and I don't ask for it, as I don't want a half-hearted 20 second lick. Some do it, but not with the women from here, or only ones that must deserve it.

That is why I said discussion is important, there's not much you can do if a potential partner lies outright!

Apart from tell him to fuck off of course, which I have done in the past and the look of shock on his face was a picture! "

Even when they've said how much they love giving oral, they haven't. I started to wonder if my pussy was gross to look at. Then I met a few men who loved giving as much as me and realised it's just that they lied. Of course, it could also be that my oral giving is so amazing that they forget that they were going to give too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wife has never gave me one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's all just a matter of taste !!!!!!

I mean cum can taste all kinda ways (I've generally never been bothered). "

Eating pineapple or drinking it's juice regularly sweetens the taste of a guts cum. It takes about 2 weeks to be effective.

The same lady can taste different at different times of the month too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thanks guys for the debate. I've personally had varying experiences. Had partners who indulged in it and we enjoyed the mutual pleasure. I've had a relationship where he never did and turned out to be one of the deal breakers in the end as well as long other factors of course (didn't realise it means that much to me until then). I also would have never forced him. I've also had the dudes who say oh I love giving oral then when it comes down to it they never bother and it's frustrating. Of course I move on as I know I deserve to have my needs met by someone who honestly shares the same desires.

I've also realised it's a deal breaker for me personally as I've only ever came from oral.

What do people think about that aspect of things? If for a woman that's her only way of climaxing."

Is there no other way at all that you can have an orgasm? Do you need an orgasm to enjoy sex?

If it's that much of a deal breaker then I think it's best to mention it. But many men will say they like it just to get a shag.

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By *lderukmale2005Man
over a year ago

basingstoke


"I’m having this exact predicament. I’ve been seeing someone from Fab for a while now and whilst everything is good in bed, he just never does it! Not even with gentle steering "

Then he is a fool lol x

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By *aul621Man
over a year ago

manchester

Yes very selfish

I love to get sucked deepbas well as lick pussy till they cum

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I love giving oral but Mrs does not like receiving so when we are having sex I concentrate on what she likes not the bits she doesn't. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Each to their own but I think it is a bit selfish.

If I could onky give or recieve I would choose to give

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By *lackbird1000Woman
over a year ago

Birmingham


"If you’re happy to receive, you should be happy to give

Not necessarily. It might be a big turn off and so make sex a chore. Slowly resentment builds and I'd say so would meeting that person.

Surely we do things because we enjoy them and wouldn't do somethings to someone else if we knew they didn't enjoy it. "

How about the opposite I read some people are happy to give but not receive ? Totally agree With above comment .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's called the DJ Khaleed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been on both sides of this I really enjoy receiving oral but one of my ex's hated it and wouldn't go near my cock. In the end I could live with that tho. However the same ex loved to receive oral but I couldn't do as her smell just put me off. I was gutted as I enjoy giving oral so much and that ended us. If you don't want to do somting you don't have to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've been on both sides of this I really enjoy receiving oral but one of my ex's hated it and wouldn't go near my cock. In the end I could live with that tho. However the same ex loved to receive oral but I couldn't do as her smell just put me off. I was gutted as I enjoy giving oral so much and that ended us. If you don't want to do somting you don't have to. "

That’s a shame. Sounds like perhaps a course of metronidazole could have saved your relationship

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've been on both sides of this I really enjoy receiving oral but one of my ex's hated it and wouldn't go near my cock. In the end I could live with that tho. However the same ex loved to receive oral but I couldn't do as her smell just put me off. I was gutted as I enjoy giving oral so much and that ended us. If you don't want to do somting you don't have to.

That’s a shame. Sounds like perhaps a course of metronidazole could have saved your relationship "

It may of help for a while but that wasn't the only problem we had it was a mutual break up with been best of freinds since.

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

I think it depends if its been discussed etc, if it's a meet only then yes it is selfish

If it's a ltr, I've heard that people don't always give etc.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No one should ever have to do something sexually that they do not want to do.

If they are prepared to do it for a partner even though they don’t enjoy it, then that is up to them.

“I don’t want to do that, let’s do this, instead” would work ok for me....

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