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Approaching someone in a vanilla setting

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By *ools and the brain OP   Couple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

So thoughts please.

So people think that it's odd or out of order?

I will explain

We are a couple, Mrs love's guy's but she quite shy when it comes to talking to guy's who take her fancy.

On here it's easy but in the vanilla world she may see someone who she wants to get to know but would never just start talking to them.

So we both really want her to shag a guy from our local gym,she has seen a few guy's she likes but is shy and nervous about talking to them.

I have thought that maybe I could talk to them explain the situation be discreet but upfront basically saying we are swinger's and Mrs fancies you and go from there.

Or is this a bit childish?

I can guess alot of the responses from alot on here with the moral outrage that will follow.

But I am basically asking do people think it is out of order to ask a guy if he wants to shag my Mrs?

Bearing in mind that I realise that they ae probably not swinger's but it would only be guy's who have shown interest in her flirting and checking her out etc...

It could be a bar,club or pub not just the gym.

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By *otgirl32Woman
over a year ago

Ashton Under Lyne

From personal experience - wasn't difficult to have some fun with my personal trainer from my gym. So if she fancies him, she should approach him

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

In the current climate if a bloke came up to me with your suggestion I'd be scared I'd be set up...and also I'd find it off putting.

However, I'd think differently if your wife approached me directly.

But I'm a woman...what do I know.

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By *ovingittwoCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

Well if they’ve shown interest, checking out, flirting etc. Go for it (Mrs)

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By *nicorn and TigerCouple
over a year ago

South East London

[Removed by poster at 06/06/18 11:25:49]

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By *nicorn and TigerCouple
over a year ago

South East London

R (Male) here - That’s actually one of my fantasies, being in a vanilla setting and a bloke coming up and telling me his partner is up for some fun with me (funnily enough had that scenario planned with a couple on here till they dissapeared! So not fulfilled as yet!)

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By *oodnitegirlWoman
over a year ago

Yorkshire

I’d be absolutely made up if someone approached me in ‘real life’ - has happened once but I’d be reluctant to do it myself. Prob end up getting a smack in the face

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would love to be approached by your misses .... Only problem I've got is going to the gym ... I'm sure once she had seen me bright red and pouring sweet any chance of attraction would be somewhat minimised ... But I'm local so maybe one day

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By *ools and the brain OP   Couple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

Thanks for your feedback all.

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By *ipplebarnyMan
over a year ago

milton keynes


"So thoughts please.

So people think that it's odd or out of order?

I will explain

We are a couple, Mrs love's guy's but she quite shy when it comes to talking to guy's who take her fancy.

On here it's easy but in the vanilla world she may see someone who she wants to get to know but would never just start talking to them.

So we both really want her to shag a guy from our local gym,she has seen a few guy's she likes hi would but is shy and nervous about talking to them.

I have thought that maybe I could talk to them explain the situation be discreet but upfront basically saying we are swinger's and Mrs fancies you and go from there.

Or is this a bit childish?

I can guess alot of the responses from alot on here with the moral outrage that will follow.

But I am basically asking do people think it is out of order to ask a guy if he wants to shag my Mrs?

Bearing in mind that I realise that they ae probably not swinger's but it would only be guy's who have shown interest in her flirting and checking her out etc...

It could be a bar,club or pub not just the gym.

"
who would turn her down she’s gourgeous

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Going by the pics on your profile im betting every guy at that gym has checked her out already and would be happier than a kid on xmas morning to be given a chance with her ,shes stunning bud

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By *ools and the brain OP   Couple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is actually the way I prefer (Mrs) It’s a lot fun being on a night out or something and being able to approach guys who tickle my fancy

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By *atureBoySouthMan
over a year ago

Fareham


"So thoughts please.

So people think that it's odd or out of order?

I will explain

We are a couple, Mrs love's guy's but she quite shy when it comes to talking to guy's who take her fancy.

On here it's easy but in the vanilla world she may see someone who she wants to get to know but would never just start talking to them.

So we both really want her to shag a guy from our local gym,she has seen a few guy's she likes but is shy and nervous about talking to them.

I have thought that maybe I could talk to them explain the situation be discreet but upfront basically saying we are swinger's and Mrs fancies you and go from there.

Or is this a bit childish?

I can guess alot of the responses from alot on here with the moral outrage that will follow.

But I am basically asking do people think it is out of order to ask a guy if he wants to shag my Mrs?

Bearing in mind that I realise that they ae probably not swinger's but it would only be guy's who have shown interest in her flirting and checking her out etc...

It could be a bar,club or pub not just the gym.

"

You have to have your "Swing-dear" finely tuned! I've met a few couples and singles in the sauna at the pool that you can almost tell are into the scene. Call it a sixth sense, but I'm usually right these days. A casual chat, start pushing the boundaries of the conversation, see where it goes. If they show no sign of interest, back off, but if they are intrigued or start turning the temperature up, game on!

Slow and gentle to start with, don't push it until you gauge the reaction is my advice. You can always test the skills on me if you like, I'm local, and I don't bite (well only if asked!).

Right, now Where's my swim bag, off to the pool for nine o'clock swim, and that's after a sea swim today as well!

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By *atureBoySouthMan
over a year ago

Fareham


"So thoughts please.

So people think that it's odd or out of order?

I will explain

We are a couple, Mrs love's guy's but she quite shy when it comes to talking to guy's who take her fancy.

On here it's easy but in the vanilla world she may see someone who she wants to get to know but would never just start talking to them.

So we both really want her to shag a guy from our local gym,she has seen a few guy's she likes but is shy and nervous about talking to them.

I have thought that maybe I could talk to them explain the situation be discreet but upfront basically saying we are swinger's and Mrs fancies you and go from there.

Or is this a bit childish?

I can guess alot of the responses from alot on here with the moral outrage that will follow.

But I am basically asking do people think it is out of order to ask a guy if he wants to shag my Mrs?

Bearing in mind that I realise that they ae probably not swinger's but it would only be guy's who have shown interest in her flirting and checking her out etc...

It could be a bar,club or pub not just the gym.

You have to have your "Swing-dear" finely tuned! I've met a few couples and singles in the sauna at the pool that you can almost tell are into the scene. Call it a sixth sense, but I'm usually right these days. A casual chat, start pushing the boundaries of the conversation, see where it goes. If they show no sign of interest, back off, but if they are intrigued or start turning the temperature up, game on!

Slow and gentle to start with, don't push it until you gauge the reaction is my advice. You can always test the skills on me if you like, I'm local, and I don't bite (well only if asked!).

Right, now Where's my swim bag, off to the pool for nine o'clock swim, and that's after a sea swim today as well! "

Bloomin autocorrect.... "Swing-dar" was what it was meant to say.

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By *hemcicalMan
over a year ago

Lisburn

I'd say if the gym guy has shown some interest in your missus - furtive glances, stares, coy smiles etc - then it would be grand to approach him, strike up a conversation about anything and slowly suggest the idea. I think coming over and blurting it straight out might freak him a little. He's not going to be expecting a conversation along those lines (even if he has fantasised about it and even played through how a conversation might go in his own head), so give him a chance to get his head round things.

I'd say if there hasn't been any interest shown by him then it's a little too forward to be coming out with any suggestions.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In my younger days I never made the first move, women approached me. Doesn't happen quite so often these days but it's not unheard of. All in the vanilla world. No-one on here though, fabbers are clearly more discerning..

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By *ools and the brain OP   Couple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.


"I'd say if the gym guy has shown some interest in your missus - furtive glances, stares, coy smiles etc - then it would be grand to approach him, strike up a conversation about anything and slowly suggest the idea. I think coming over and blurting it straight out might freak him a little. He's not going to be expecting a conversation along those lines (even if he has fantasised about it and even played through how a conversation might go in his own head), so give him a chance to get his head round things.

I'd say if there hasn't been any interest shown by him then it's a little too forward to be coming out with any suggestions. "

Thanks some sensible suggestions there definitely worth considering.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You may get someone take it the wrong way and be likely to come swinging for you (not in the way you want) and it goes tits up (again not in the way you want)

Maybe try a few subtle hints to sound them out

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I’d get the lady to go over and say my husband suggested I ask you for some training tips which suggests hubbys agreement and see what he says. If the lady initiates the convo and leads it then the man will follow.

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By *ools and the brain OP   Couple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.


"I’d get the lady to go over and say my husband suggested I ask you for some training tips which suggests hubbys agreement and see what he says. If the lady initiates the convo and leads it then the man will follow. "

Yeah that's the plan,but we are very aware that people are there to train and we don't want to distribute anyone's workouts.

But yes this is almost certainly the way forward,I can understand why guys have been slow in coming forward to talk to her as we train together mostly and I'm a pretty big chap, not massively so but enough to possibly discourage guys from hitting on her.

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By *hemcicalMan
over a year ago

Lisburn

Get your good lady to start throwing smiles etc his direction and see if there's some interest there first? Then you can strike up a conversation along the lines of the above for tips etc and get chatting to him. She catches both your eye as she trains and see if he comments.

Let us all know how/if it goes!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just be careful is all I'd say...not trying to be a wet blanket here and it's exciting in theory but the reality can often be very different...you would wish for him to be discrete and respectful and not spread it around to all and sundry that you're swingers or that he's fucked your wife...having read the forum it's often not easy for some single men to understand the dynamic of couples, so someone outside of this lifestyle may understand it even less...just be sure you want to take the potential risk of the whole gym thinking you can't satisfy your wife (which is often the assumption)

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