FabSwingers.com forum: Women have it easy

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I've seen a few comments that single women on here have it easy, if only that was true.

I know single men have the worst time, and I sympathise with the minority of genuine and lovely men on here. If I was a single man I'd of given up after a week.

But it really isn't a walk in the park for us single women, as so many seem to think it is.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've seen a few comments that single women on here have it easy, if only that was true.

I know single men have the worst time, and I sympathise with the minority of genuine and lovely men on here. If I was a single man I'd of given up after a week.

But it really isn't a walk in the park for us single women, as so many seem to think it is.

I keep saying this. They won’t listen.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree as well.

You’ve got the men messaging you, well if you can call “fancy a fuck” a message.

Then if you are bi like me, you’ve then got bi-fem couples too.

It’s a minefield out there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You women hold all the cards on this site

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's not easy replying to millions of messages and thanking people for their lovely compliments.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You women hold all the cards on this site "

See what I mean

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You women hold all the cards on this site "

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By *.H.SMan
over a year ago

London

Women chose the guys not the other way round

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I struggle to get messages, but I'd probably find being stood up or dealing with time wasters more annoying. Would I be wrong in saying that's the main problem women face?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You women hold all the cards on this site "

This isn't blackjack you know.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tbh the the lady’s don’t seem that easy it’s ok to just jump on a dick but 99 percent off you have self respect and because the lads have had that one slut in hear think all lady’s are the same

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By *an_WoodMan
over a year ago

Stafford

"I've seen a few comments that single women on here have it easy, if only that was true.

I know single men have the worst time, and I sympathise with the minority of genuine and lovely men on here. If I was a single man I'd of given up after a week.

But it really isn't a walk in the park for us single women, as so many seem to think it is.

I keep saying this. They won’t listen."

Sorry can you repeat that wasn't listening my bad

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's not easy replying to millions of messages and thanking people for their lovely compliments. "

True but it makes me feel good.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I struggle to get messages, but I'd probably find being stood up or dealing with time wasters more annoying. Would I be wrong in saying that's the main problem women face?"

In my case, yes.

My main problem is having enough free time to meet new men.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's not easy replying to millions of messages and thanking people for their lovely compliments.

True but it makes me feel good. "

Great for the ego.

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By *iSTARessWoman
over a year ago

London

Women get so many messages bla bla, boo hoo, entitlement, whinge, whine

I'll probably be interested in one in twenty messages I'm sent as they're largely the same nonsense or they don't tickle my pickle. Prefer to hunt myself now (providing they have visible pics and well written profile)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I struggle to get messages, but I'd probably find being stood up or dealing with time wasters more annoying. Would I be wrong in saying that's the main problem women face?"

Yes you're wrong

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I struggle to get messages, but I'd probably find being stood up or dealing with time wasters more annoying. Would I be wrong in saying that's the main problem women face?

In my case, yes.

My main problem is having enough free time to meet new men. "

The thing I find annoying the most is getting a reply that indicates the woman is interested in talking only for my next message to go unread. It makes me wonder why they even bother replying at all. I mean I've got all the time in the world, I have no other commitments apart from work, but I still wouldn't waste someone's time like that. It's pointless.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Women get so many messages bla bla, boo hoo, entitlement, whinge, whine

I always message people first, pictures (preferably face) and a decent profile essential

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It's not easy replying to millions of messages and thanking people for their lovely compliments.

True but it makes me feel good.

Great for the ego."

I don't find it an ego boost.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Tbh the the lady’s don’t seem that easy it’s ok to just jump on a dick but 99 percent off you have self respect and because the lads have had that one slut in hear think all lady’s are the same "

Jumping on lots of dicks doesn't mean a woman has no self respect or that's she's easy, it just means she's lucky enough to find a lot of dicks attractive.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I struggle to get messages, but I'd probably find being stood up or dealing with time wasters more annoying. Would I be wrong in saying that's the main problem women face?

Yes you're wrong "

Okay. So much for that conversation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I struggle to get messages, but I'd probably find being stood up or dealing with time wasters more annoying. Would I be wrong in saying that's the main problem women face?

Yes you're wrong "

What is the main problem that women face then?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You women hold all the cards on this site "

Straight up gospel

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I struggle to get messages, but I'd probably find being stood up or dealing with time wasters more annoying. Would I be wrong in saying that's the main problem women face?

Yes you're wrong

What is the main problem that women face then?"

1) Finding a suitable male

2) Finding a suitable couple for fun

3) Single women have lots of safety issues to consider

Those are just for starters

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You women hold all the cards on this site

Straight up gospel "

I think women do hold the majority, but not all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Jumping on lots of dicks doesn't mean a woman has no self respect or that's she's easy, it just means she's lucky enough to find a lot of dicks attractive.

I'm one of those women.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I sympathise with the minority of genuine and lovely men on here.

You don't want us, you ignore us. #read&deleted is the norm. This is without sending a FAF or a dick pic and to people I've already met in clubs.

"You’ve got the men messaging you, well if you can call “fancy a fuck” a message."

Sounds like the ladies on here, need to sharpen their idiot/fuckboy filters.

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By *awty-discreetMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

Don’t think you should be calling any females in here sluts...not unless it’s in the bedroom & they call you daddy first!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You women hold all the cards on this site

Straight up gospel

I think women do hold the majority, but not all. "

I can't have sex with every man I want, on here. I can turn down a lot of men, only because lots of men message me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I sympathise with the minority of genuine and lovely men on here.

You don't want us, you ignore us. #read&deleted is the norm. This is without sending a FAF or a dick pic and to people I've already met in clubs.

You’ve got the men messaging you, well if you can call “fancy a fuck” a message.

Sounds like the ladies on here, need to sharpen their idiot/fuckboy filters."

Unfortunately, there are no filters for them.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I sympathise with the minority of genuine and lovely men on here.

You don't want us, you ignore us. #read&deleted is the norm. This is without sending a FAF or a dick pic and to people I've already met in clubs"

Reading and deleting and not replying is a polite 'no thank you' on this site.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I agree as well.

You’ve got the men messaging you, well if you can call “fancy a fuck” a message.

Then if you are bi like me, you’ve then got bi-fem couples too.

It’s a minefield out there. "
Yeah I would be gutted if I got hundreds of fancy a fuck messages

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I agree as well.

You’ve got the men messaging you, well if you can call “fancy a fuck” a message.

Then if you are bi like me, you’ve then got bi-fem couples too.

It’s a minefield out there. Yeah I would be gutted if I got hundreds of fancy a fuck messages

No you wouldn't. You'd be writing names in your diary for the next year.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I agree as well.

You’ve got the men messaging you, well if you can call “fancy a fuck” a message.

Then if you are bi like me, you’ve then got bi-fem couples too.

It’s a minefield out there. Yeah I would be gutted if I got hundreds of fancy a fuck messages

No you wouldn't. You'd be writing names in your diary for the next year. "
Yeah that's true

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I sympathise with the minority of genuine and lovely men on here.

You don't want us, you ignore us. #read&deleted is the norm. This is without sending a FAF or a dick pic and to people I've already met in clubs

Reading and deleting and not replying is a polite 'no thank you' on this site."

Reading, deleting and not replying isn't 'polite' in any universe.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do usually always reply, but it’s disheartening when the messages start to blur into one and seem really insincere. When I have zero on my profile I still get them saying ‘you sound interesting’. #AnyHolesAGoal

I’d rather just message first usually

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I struggle to get messages, but I'd probably find being stood up or dealing with time wasters more annoying. Would I be wrong in saying that's the main problem women face?

Yes you're wrong

What is the main problem that women face then?

1) Finding a suitable male

2) Finding a suitable couple for fun

3) Single women have lots of safety issues to consider

Those are just for starters "

The first two aren't really problems, that's just comes down to your preferences. Everyone is looking for someone suitable, but I doubt many of them consider it a problem. The third one goes without saying. There's only two major problems I can see: time wasters and idiots who don't put any effort in.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You women hold all the cards on this site

Straight up gospel

I think women do hold the majority, but not all. "

The thing that gets me the most is if a single male doesn't have a face pic up he must be cheating but for a woman it's completly fine. You will never get a message of a woman without a face pic but woman don't struggle even if you send a nice message first you get a short reply "face pic" but yet it's not all about looks lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I sympathise with the minority of genuine and lovely men on here.

You don't want us, you ignore us. #read&deleted is the norm. This is without sending a FAF or a dick pic and to people I've already met in clubs

Reading and deleting and not replying is a polite 'no thank you' on this site.

Reading, deleting and not replying isn't 'polite' in any universe."

Read the FAQ

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yeah I would be gutted if I got hundreds of fancy a fuck messages

I know, you'd be in therapy for the rest of your life to cope with the trauma of it all, wouldn't you?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You women hold all the cards on this site

Straight up gospel

I think women do hold the majority, but not all.

I think people who display face pics are brave. I never would, nor do I expect other people too. Swinging should always have a certain level of discretion about in IMO, hence face pics on display for everyone to see goes against the discretion.

I do however request to see face pics if I'm enjoying chatting with a person and I do happily send my face pics.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I sometimes wonder if we all think the other sex has it easy on here or if our perspective is coloured by whatever our personal experience is of fab.

It's always going to be theoretically easier for single women rather than single guys ....that just a function of numbers.

But the fact that there so many single guys seems to make many women jaded by the cliches we all know...FAF messages sometimes overful inboxes their need to find a connection etc.

Guys are reputed to only be here to get their dick wet yet there are probably proportionally as many men as women seeking that same connection and we probably all share similar concerns about safety meeting others and if or how any relationship may or may not develop...Or even if we want it too.

We all see it in the threads the often petty resentments and bitching in the forums at times or the lost hurt confused and angry threads that get posted on the forums.

I have no real answers that make much sense but we are all here seeking whatever we seek. Perhaps less cynicism more giving of ourselves and less demanding of others may change all our perceptions...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I sometimes wonder if we all think the other sex has it easy on here or if our perspective is coloured by whatever our personal experience is of fab.

It's always going to be theoretically easier for single women rather than single guys ....that just a function of numbers.

But the fact that there so many single guys seems to make many women jaded by the cliches we all know...FAF messages sometimes overful inboxes their need to find a connection etc.

We all see it in the threads the often petty resentments and bitching in the forums at times or the lost hurt confused and angry threads that get posted on the forums.

I have no real answers that make much sense but we are all here seeking whatever we seek. Perhaps less cynicism more giving of ourselves and less demanding of others may change all our perceptions..."

Totally agree!!!

Male/ Female we can all have bad experiences!! X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yeah I would be gutted if I got hundreds of fancy a fuck messages

I know, you'd be in therapy for the rest of your life to cope with the trauma of it all, wouldn't you?

"
Nah I would just not read . Then delete

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You women hold all the cards on this site

Straight up gospel

I think women do hold the majority, but not all.

I do however request to see face pics if I'm enjoying chatting with a person and I do happily send my face pics. "

Yh definatly that goes with out saying. otherwise it would be another cilla black moment lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nah I would just not read . Then delete

You'd be re-faffing like a bastard, wouldn't you?

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By *radleywigginsMan
over a year ago

northwest

I’d imagine the main ‘problem’ women get is that some of the men that message them aren’t Tom Hardy.

For some reason women take objection to this and continually write forum posts and statuses saying how difficult it is to meet the suitable, yet obviously ‘exceptional’ males they are looking for.

Sorry about the hundreds of messages you get girls, must be tough having to delete all those lovely chaps that obviously ‘haven’t read your profile’ because they’re ‘not your type’.

I really appreciate the few women who have written on this thread that they actually search through the profiles and message the ones they find suitable. It tough work, and I suspect the 0.05% of messages that doesn’t generate a meet must really rankle.

What’s the answer? Well equality I suppose, but that means in terms of effort, of profile writing and searching from the women, and restraint from the guys.

Maybe the odd filter might come in handy too, let people know what you’re after rather than letting people assume, or hope.

Most guys (privately) will acknowledge there’s an element of numbers game in this. However well written and appropriate a message there’s a good chance it’ll end up unread in the thousands or bulk deleted. This leads to a somewhat scattergun approach to first contacts because there is little so little correlation beteen message content and likelihood of things going further.

I appreciate it isn’t always easy, but maybe if the boot were on the other foot sometimes seeing what the target of your messages has to deal with has to be beneficial..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nah I would just not read . Then delete

You'd be re-faffing like a bastard, wouldn't you?

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By *abulously curiousCouple
over a year ago

manchester

"I've seen a few comments that single women on here have it easy, if only that was true.

I know single men have the worst time, and I sympathise with the minority of genuine and lovely men on here. If I was a single man I'd of given up after a week.

But it really isn't a walk in the park for us single women, as so many seem to think it is.

"
id hate to have the pick of every single man and couple... u have my sympathy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's not easy replying to millions of messages and thanking people for their lovely compliments.

True but it makes me feel good. "

Truthful lady poster.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I sympathise with the minority of genuine and lovely men on here.

You don't want us, you ignore us. #read&deleted is the norm. This is without sending a FAF or a dick pic and to people I've already met in clubs

Reading and deleting and not replying is a polite 'no thank you' on this site.

Reading, deleting and not replying isn't 'polite' in any universe.

Read the FAQ"

Just because it's in the FAQ, it doesn't make it right. I think most people would think ''I guess I'll just go over here and fuck myself'' if they had that response. If you wouldn't want something being done to yourself, don't do it to others. That's how I look at it. We teach children to be polite and respectful at all times, but it seems some adults can't grasp that concept.

In regards to women receiving hundreds of messages a day and don't have time to respond to them all, fair enough. But here's the thing. They don't have to respond to them all. I understand messages getting lost in the crowd and going unread, but if fifty people send you a FAF message and fifty men actually put some effort into them, delete the first fifty and respond to the second fifty with a copy and paste message saying no thank you.

It pays to be polite, people will appreciate it more and it might actually improve your experience on the website because there won't be as many jaded people on here who send out FAF messages after they've been shut down so quickly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Women do have it easy compared to guys.

It's true that you have to go through a selection process but we're the ones that have to compete.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Women do have it easy compared to guys.

It's true that you have to go through a selection process but we're the ones that have to compete."

Actually we don't have to compete. Often we choose too.

I rarely now send a first message. I am content to wander fab and the forums and if I'm seen or contacted I always respond. It doesn't happen often but those times that it does are usually the more interesting or rewarding for that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think we can all agree that neither 0 interest from anyone nor 999,999,999,999,999,999 idiots pestering us with so much crap that we can't even see our own hands... neither are any good.

5-10 msgs a day would be lovely

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I sympathise with the minority of genuine and lovely men on here.

You don't want us, you ignore us. #read&deleted is the norm. This is without sending a FAF or a dick pic and to people I've already met in clubs

Reading and deleting and not replying is a polite 'no thank you' on this site.

Reading, deleting and not replying isn't 'polite' in any universe.

Read the FAQ

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Women do have it easy compared to guys.

It's true that you have to go through a selection process but we're the ones that have to compete."

This is it. I'm not ashamed to admit that there are much more handsome men on this site than me and they're always gonna be a ''winner'' so to speak. Good on them. I don't mind competing, it's fun, but when women say they have it just as hard as men it makes me wonder how. They have to go through a selection process, big deal. I'd sooner go through a selection process than to get rejected immediately because I don't look like Tom Hardy. I mean women must surely think the same thing. ''Oh, he read and deleted my message straight away, it must be because I don't look like Margot Robbie.'' Anyone who tries telling me otherwise is lying to themselves, that kind of shit isn't good for anyone's self-esteem, man or women.

I think there's an apparent cynicism on this site. Men are cynical because they struggle to get replies and they throw caution to the wind with FAF messages, women are cynical because of the shit they put up with and in turn become much more pickier for lack of a better word.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Women do have it easy compared to guys.

It's true that you have to go through a selection process but we're the ones that have to compete."

Am I not competing with other women for the attention of the men I like?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's not easy replying to millions of messages and thanking people for their lovely compliments.

True but it makes me feel good.

Truthful lady poster.

I meant it makes me feel good to reply.

I reply to all first messages and often get really nice messages back thanking me for replying because most women don't bother.

I appreciate that it must be shit for men sending out umpteen mails and getting zero replies, because I've experienced the same.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Women do have it easy compared to guys.

It's true that you have to go through a selection process but we're the ones that have to compete.

Actually we don't have to compete. Often we choose too.

That's because you're waiting for someone to message you, that's different. I never said we don't choose who we meet but more often than not we're competing against other guys for our choice of meet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Women do have it easy compared to guys.

It's true that you have to go through a selection process but we're the ones that have to compete.

Actually we don't have to compete. Often we choose too.

That's because you're waiting for someone to message you, that's different. I never said we don't choose who we meet but more often than not we're competing against other guys for our choice of meet."

Doesn't that apply to women too? Don't they compete or feel they do in the same way to meet the guys they want too meet?

If two or more people want to meet enough they will both find a way...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's not easy replying to millions of messages and thanking people for their lovely compliments.

True but it makes me feel good.

Truthful lady poster.

I meant it makes me feel good to reply.

I reply to all first messages and often get really nice messages back thanking me for replying because most women don't bother.

I appreciate that it must be shit for men sending out umpteen mails and getting zero replies, because I've experienced the same. "

If I get a reply saying no thank you, I always respond and it's always with ''no worries, thank you anyway, hope you find what you're looking for.'' I'm aware that no one owes me anything, but when a message gets read and deleted, especially without them even looking at my profile, I just think ''okay then, I'm gonna go fuck myself''.

Women wonder why so many men don't bother putting any effort in and it's because a lot of said women just dismiss them outright. For all they know, 42 year old Bob from Bolton might actually be a diamond in the rough and someone who could rock their bloody world, but they'll never know because they deleted his message.

They say it's down to lack of effort, but it's really down to looks. It always ultimately comes down to looks. I bet they've had shit messages from really good-looking guys and still replied to them.

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By *elbyfuntimesMan
over a year ago

Selby

Who cares. If ya my k to get a meet great of you don't tuff. There is no right to expect sex from here as there ain't in any bars. No one has it easy on here unless your willing to fuck anything with a pulse. Yes may be women do hold all the cards but don't make it any easier for them. It's a swingers site not an escort site. I go through bouts where I'm lucky then get my dry spells I just accept it for what it is.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I dont find it difficult on here. If i got anywhere near as much shit as some say they get i would of been long gone. Fab works for me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To be honest, when I saw the post I thought to my self; “great another male making it worse.” Until I noticed it was a woman! I totally agree. Men have it hard for actually getting a reply! Let alone a meet. While women have to sieve out I hundreds of men trying to find the one that will actually meet/is true.

Both sides find it hard in their own way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hey, i completley agree. I think it all boils down to what you are looking for and your expectations. Im convinced most single people dont actually know what they want and change their minds daily. Ive been single over a year now, know exactly what i want but most people i meet are putting on an act or trying to be somthing they are not x

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By *iSTARessWoman
over a year ago

London

"I'm aware that no one owes me anything "

That's right. Nobody on here owes you anything

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But you should all fall at my feet and give me what I want. I am man

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

With fab I find being a male you get out what you put in

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By *apstarMan
over a year ago

Harpenden

Woman dont have it easy. they get hounded ,talked 2 like shit . They get sent dick picks and sent some nasty things

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You women hold all the cards on this site

Straight up gospel

I think women do hold the majority, but not all.

I do however request to see face pics if I'm enjoying chatting with a person and I do happily send my face pics. "

I have nothing to hide hence face pics. I prefer to see face pics myself and tend to trust those people more than those that hide. I understand people have reasons but I can’t be bothered to faff around with people I may or may not like the look of.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Woman dont have it easy. they get hounded ,talked 2 like shit . They get sent dick picks and sent some nasty things "

It can be tedious at times but you get used to it. I have great patience but it is tested at times.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think we can all agree that neither 0 interest from anyone nor 999,999,999,999,999,999 idiots pestering us with so much crap that we can't even see our own hands... neither are any good.

5-10 msgs a day would be lovely

You’d be lucky grandad

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm aware that no one owes me anything

That's right. Nobody on here owes you anything

I like the forums, but after spending enough time on here I actually understand why a lot of men have the attitude they do. Some of them are probably just total dicks, whereas others are genuinely respectful people fed up of the usual bullshit. I mean you cherry picked that sentence out of a long post and I really don't know why. To give me shit? I really don't know why you'd even bother.

Women complain of not having enough time to answer messages, but they clearly have enough time to pick out one sentence from a post and reply with a smarmy comment. Does not compute.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 02/06/18 03:54:07]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Woman dont have it easy. they get hounded ,talked 2 like shit . They get sent dick picks and sent some nasty things "

Here's the thing though. It doesn't have to be that way. If they don't like getting one line messages, cock pics and nasty responses, they should block all single men and take the initiative themselves. Instead of complaining about a minority group, they could be the masters of their own destiny and message men they're interested in themselves. One line messages and cock pics might still happen, but at least it will limit how much it happens.

Single men shouldn't be blocked all across the board by default, but only by those who don't like the way some men approach the site. They'll have a much better experience if they do block them and take the lead themselves.

It really is that simple. Unfortunately it seems like logic flies out of the fucking window on this site. Complaining about the quality of men does nothing to help the problem they face. A solution will. And I've just offered a relatively simple one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Woman dont have it easy. they get hounded ,talked 2 like shit . They get sent dick picks and sent some nasty things

I agree but I’m too lazy to search. I know I’m not looking right now but was never that bothered as was on a few sites so didn’t need to look that hard. I just have to deal with the unwanted messages.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Woman dont have it easy. they get hounded ,talked 2 like shit . They get sent dick picks and sent some nasty things

At least you're honest and if you have no problem getting the unwanted messages then fair play.

I just don't agree with the notion that men are somehow responsible for women having a bad experience. Yes, some men may make it less enjoyable, but those men are a small minority compared to those who aren't total fucking idiots and know how to conduct themselves. Ultimately if women are having a bad experience it's because they choose to let it happen by not rectifying the situation.

Don't get me wrong if I see a profile I like and it says not looking for single men, it is a bit shit but I understand why those women block single men and I can't say I disagree with their decision.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Woman dont have it easy. they get hounded ,talked 2 like shit . They get sent dick picks and sent some nasty things

At least you're honest and if you have no problem getting the unwanted messages then fair play.

Don't get me wrong if I see a profile I like and it says not looking for single men, it is a bit shit but I understand why those women block single men and I can't say I disagree with their decision."
.

I wish there was a filter for blocking men who do not meet my criteria - but then I'd get disappointed at zero attention.

Not.

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By *ifty grades of shadyCouple
over a year ago

Carisbrooke, Isle of Wight

"Woman dont have it easy. they get hounded ,talked 2 like shit . They get sent dick picks and sent some nasty things

But here's the thing, people of whichever gender get messages accepted or rejected because they don't have the cohones to get themselves noticed. Zero personality in what they say, particularly their opening gambit, so why would they expect to be getting a response.

Respectful and considered messages along with a bit of observational and flirtatious banter usually is a great starting point. People saying hi and an insincere opening line is insulting, more so if you're targeting someone's profile based on their crafted images and introduction and yours say nothing and have nothing to offer in the images.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Woman dont have it easy. they get hounded ,talked 2 like shit . They get sent dick picks and sent some nasty things

Hi is not insulting, just boring.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tell me, would a guy prefer a deleted message or to be strung along for five minutes with sarcasm? Sarcasm cos he couldn't be bothered to read the accommodate status.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've seen a few comments that single women on here have it easy, if only that was true.

I know single men have the worst time, and I sympathise with the minority of genuine and lovely men on here. If I was a single man I'd of given up after a week.

But it really isn't a walk in the park for us single women, as so many seem to think it is.

Granted, this is true, although the struggle is a whole spectrum apart. Single guys are branded and cursed due to the hordes of time wasters and wan**ers that take the majority, single females have the problem of sifting through the uncountable influx of unsolicited approaches, most of which are never though out pre "send" and/or often oblivious and ignorant to what the lady has put out there on her profile.

As a single F, all you have to do is eliminate the waste and say yes to the diamonds in he rough (few and far, agreed) Single guys have a he'll of a task trying to 1. Get a response, 2. Be address with common courtesy/respect and 3. Work hard enough to no fall in to the dog pile with the rest of them.

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By *ifty grades of shadyCouple
over a year ago

Carisbrooke, Isle of Wight

"I've seen a few comments that single women on here have it easy, if only that was true.

I know single men have the worst time, and I sympathise with the minority of genuine and lovely men on here. If I was a single man I'd of given up after a week.

But it really isn't a walk in the park for us single women, as so many seem to think it is.

Speaking as a man, if you can't rise above the wanker tag and get yourself a personality, you deserve all that you (don't) get...

Put the work in.

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By *ifty grades of shadyCouple
over a year ago

Carisbrooke, Isle of Wight

[Removed by poster at 02/06/18 05:05:30]

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By *ifty grades of shadyCouple
over a year ago

Carisbrooke, Isle of Wight

"[Removed by poster at 02/06/18 05:05:30]"

Sorry, Another Notch, agree with what you were alluding to

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thank you. It's painful to have so much to eat that you can't manage the load but oh boy is it a thousand more time painful when you are hungry and scrapping for morsels haha

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By *ifty grades of shadyCouple
over a year ago

Carisbrooke, Isle of Wight

"Thank you. It's painful to have so much to eat that you can't manage the load but oh boy is it a thousand more time painful when you are hungry and scrapping for morsels haha"

Hahaha my quote of the week

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I struggle to get messages, but I'd probably find being stood up or dealing with time wasters more annoying. Would I be wrong in saying that's the main problem women face?

Yes you're wrong

What is the main problem that women face then?

1) Finding a suitable male

2) Finding a suitable couple for fun

3) Single women have lots of safety issues to consider

Those are just for starters "

1) Mainly solvable. Obviously turning huntress and looking for men rather than the other way around, relying solely on your inbox and searching through 100 nuggets to find a gem. I get a lot of meets and most of the meets I have contact me first now which is great as I know they're already interested in one way or another? Therefore I'm not potentially wasting their time messaging them if they weren't after my particular type? Don't get me wrong, I still send out the odd message if a lady really takes my fancy sometimes (but the fact I don't send many means I can make it well tailored to her, thoughtfully written, with just the right pinch of seduction, nothing too OTT)

Use the search functions obviously. Also ask women similar in approach and taste to yourself if they can recommend any? Word of mouth still works like in the Pre-Fab days, especially amongst women. So use it. Women who contact me do this as well as just come across my profile by searching too.

2) Understandably trickier as there's more attractiveness and availability to consider. But still possible using the parameters above. Go also for a couple who you feel are solid together and equally eager to avoid the possibility of any green-eyed nasties appearing.

3) Go for those with plenty of veris. Meet in a public place to get a feel for them first. Clubs are also ideal. And if you're ever meeting them on other territory then tell a trusted friend where you'll be and whom with AND make sure that those you are meeting know that you have imparted this information as you get there so they know someone has your back if the worst happens and that it will be harder for them to get away with anything. A lady I meet with regularly always does this with me when she meets others, she feels safer as a result and I'm happier too as I like her being safer and more at ease.

Good luck!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Gorgeously funny

Sad,but funny

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By *ast_jjMan
over a year ago

Dublin and London

"I've seen a few comments that single women on here have it easy, if only that was true.

I know single men have the worst time, and I sympathise with the minority of genuine and lovely men on here. If I was a single man I'd of given up after a week.

But it really isn't a walk in the park for us single women, as so many seem to think it is.

"
I completely agree with you. Men have it the hardest due to volume and time wasters. But women have it hard too. Getting so many messages makes it very hatd to find someone genuine to meet. That's why I try to use the forums to strike up conversations. It has worked so far.

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By *xelf787Man
over a year ago

Chorlton, Manchester

There is no point getting despondent if you don't get a reply. I have seen ladies profiles who have just opened their profile, they have no pics or no text in their description and they still get lots of messages from men. So for a woman to spot your message or for your message to stand out is hard. I have even had replies sometimes saying not my type but when I have met them in person it's different because you are not being viewed on a few lines of text. For a male it's actually getting out there and meeting for real in clubs and at parties and having patience.

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

I'd say that decent, personable, genuine male swingers have it easy.

The bar is set so low that to rise well above it and stand out isn't that difficult albeit time consuming.

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By *ifty grades of shadyCouple
over a year ago

Carisbrooke, Isle of Wight

"I'd say that decent, personable, genuine male swingers have it easy.

The bar is set so low that to rise well above it and stand out isn't that difficult albeit time consuming."

I would not say easy, but easier, but the last sentence is spot on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am so fed up to receive those messages by women asking me if they can suck my penis behind asda !!

I am not just a lovely body with a lovely bearded penis! I have lovely feelings too !!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You women hold all the cards on this site "

Us women hold all the cards off the site too..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am so fed up to receive those messages by women asking me if they can suck my penis behind asda !!

I am not just a lovely body with a lovely bearded penis! I have lovely feelings too !!!

"
Could be worse it could be Lidl . at least yours have a bit of class

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am so fed up to receive those messages by women asking me if they can suck my penis behind asda !!

I am not just a lovely body with a lovely bearded penis! I have lovely feelings too !!!

Could be worse it could be Lidl . at least yours have a bit of class "

Haha yes true

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Woman dont have it easy. they get hounded ,talked 2 like shit . They get sent dick picks and sent some nasty things

I agree with all your posts on this thread!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I struggle to get messages, but I'd probably find being stood up or dealing with time wasters more annoying. Would I be wrong in saying that's the main problem women face?

Yes you're wrong

What is the main problem that women face then?

1) Finding a suitable male

2) Finding a suitable couple for fun

3) Single women have lots of safety issues to consider

Those are just for starters "

Those all go for men and couples too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Let’s all get the violins out for those poor women who get too many messages

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've seen a few comments that single women on here have it easy, if only that was true.

I know single men have the worst time, and I sympathise with the minority of genuine and lovely men on here. If I was a single man I'd of given up after a week.

But it really isn't a walk in the park for us single women, as so many seem to think it is.

"
I know it’s a hard life being a single male

I know what it’s like from the females point of view too having female friends on here,telling me everything so works both ways we all get good and bad just take it with a pinch of salt

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This will always be an issue... it always has been and always will be!!! Men / Women / Couples all experience all different issues for all different reasons... there will always be people who are are not genuine etc etc but that’s the same away from fab!!

Yes I get lots and lots of messages... but I also send them as well!!! I do my best to reply but sometimes can’t reply to them all... at the moment Im not specifically looking to meet but if someone popped up who grabbed my attention well that’s a different matter!!

And no it’s not about looks... not anymore.. I’m finding personality... been able to hold a conversation and to stimulate me mentally are the the main things... of course sexually there has to be that spark as well!!

So I guess we will keep having these discussions!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've seen a few comments that single women on here have it easy, if only that was true.

I know single men have the worst time, and I sympathise with the minority of genuine and lovely men on here. If I was a single man I'd of given up after a week.

But it really isn't a walk in the park for us single women, as so many seem to think it is.

I can totally understand and sympathise how the OP feels. And endorse everything she says. I cannot obviously talk from “ in her shoes” but from my angle as a single man I do not talk naughty harass , stalk etc. I am polite chatty and very respectful. This sadly seems to get me nowhere and rarely get replies in chat rooms. This has made me shy and nervous which is obviously detrimental on a swinging site. I would love to chat to a nice lady or couple who want to get to know each other and maybe become friends then maybe progress to naughty play. Not chat for a day and in bed the next day, unless we “click” immediately of course Maybe I should totally change and become a person who likes to “treat them mean keep them keen” I’m totally confused atm

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 02/06/18 08:24:21]

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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago

West Wales

"I sympathise with the minority of genuine and lovely men on here.

You don't want us, you ignore us. #read&deleted is the norm. This is without sending a FAF or a dick pic and to people I've already met in clubs

Reading and deleting and not replying is a polite 'no thank you' on this site.

Reading, deleting and not replying isn't 'polite' in any universe.

Read the FAQ

Its a bit self perpetuating really, We used to send quite a few messages out in the early days looking for a single lady to meet, not anymore, a nicely worded first contact with face pics..in the bin, a shorter version...in the bin...Almost just face pics...in the bin. & to put it in a nice way we are not two elephants trying to talk to a gazelle.

Gave up long ago & we agree with a few other posters, there needs to be more equality but that's not going to happen. Probably get a message back even if its no thanks 5% of the time & for us twenty messages takes a few weeks to do. No scatterguns here.

Oh & no answer is not polite, saying it is just makes you feel better about doing it. Anyone saying "too many messages" needs to sort their filters out or maybe block men/all messages & do the searching yourself? Just think all that time clearing yellow from your mailbox could be spent composing a well written, not too long, not too short, informative first contact message!

Or you could just keep picking the nice pictures with no danger of rejection. Seems like the easier, less self worth/soul destroying to us to be fair.

S&H

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I sympathise with the minority of genuine and lovely men on here.

You don't want us, you ignore us. #read&deleted is the norm. This is without sending a FAF or a dick pic and to people I've already met in clubs

Reading and deleting and not replying is a polite 'no thank you' on this site.

Reading, deleting and not replying isn't 'polite' in any universe.

Read the FAQ

Or you could just keep picking the nice pictures with no danger of rejection. Seems like the easier, less self worth/soul destroying to us to be fair.

S&H "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To be honest as a man on here I Take it as it comes, I treat it as an add on to my actual social life meaning I don't solely rely on the site for meets. If I get messages whether it be first messages or replies then that's awesome but if not I ain't gonna lose any sleep about it. It is true that some of the women on here have really high expectations but that's their prerogative as they are out numbered severely on this site, what I really don't agree with is people stringing you along organising a meet so you change your work plans and then they disappear. Apologies for the rant

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've seen a few comments that single women on here have it easy, if only that was true.

I know single men have the worst time, and I sympathise with the minority of genuine and lovely men on here. If I was a single man I'd of given up after a week.

But it really isn't a walk in the park for us single women, as so many seem to think it is.

I find its really easy never get a meet but its really easy not to

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a paid up member i can see whi views my profile and i have often wondered if women ever use the search function? As its always men who view my profile

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You women hold all the cards on this site "

who wants a game of snap??

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By *otSoNewWalesCoupleCouple
over a year ago

South Wales

For wifey it's a case of trying to find a geuinely good looking guy she fancies.

Plenty of approaches from ones she doesn't, and too many of the ones she does are either fake, dreamers or unreliable.

But there's no rush or desperation. This is an add-on to a healthy married sex life. If it never happens again it won't matter.

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By *ackDMissMorganCouple
over a year ago

Halifax

Fab is what you make of it experience as a single woman is v different to that of being in a couple.

People of both genders can be rude and stroppy on here ,as in our experience can couples.

On my single profile I use filters to stop unwanted mail and we do the same on this profile,I think women are more open to getting lots of messages,but filters reduce that considerably.

I think fab is much harder for us all these days ,try being a straight couple lol.As someone said do the searching and put the effort in and the rewards are there.

Miss

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To be honest as a man on here I Take it as it comes, I treat it as an add on to my actual social life meaning I don't solely rely on the site for meets. If I get messages whether it be first messages or replies then that's awesome but if not I ain't gonna lose any sleep about it. It is true that some of the women on here have really high expectations but that's their prerogative as they are out numbered severely on this site, what I really don't agree with is people stringing you along organising a meet so you change your work plans and then they disappear. Apologies for the rant"

High expectations or sticking to their preferences cos they know what they want?

Also, do we have gender (majority) desires? Simply put - wet dick and any hole's a goal v a great time (subjective)?

If i was part of a couple, my desires would centre on the sex, but i need to find my better half first. Then I'd be happy to just be a hole provider

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By *ackDMissMorganCouple
over a year ago

Halifax

"As a paid up member i can see whi views my profile and i have often wondered if women ever use the search function? As its always men who view my profile"

Many of us look in stealth mode,so you wouldn't know we visited

Miss

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's problems for everyone on here. As for single guys if your friendly, respectful and put the effort in you can find meets.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I sympathise with the minority of genuine and lovely men on here.

You don't want us, you ignore us. #read&deleted is the norm. This is without sending a FAF or a dick pic and to people I've already met in clubs

Reading and deleting and not replying is a polite 'no thank you' on this site.

Reading, deleting and not replying isn't 'polite' in any universe.

Read the FAQ

It would take up far too much time even to open every message, copy and paste and reply.

I actually read a decent message, but any FAF messages don't even get opened.

I do my own searching the majority of time as I find it's more constructive that way.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Well said

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

This thread seems to if got side tracked into the issue of messages only.

Single women face so many other issues that receiving too many messages. That is easily managed by filters.

There are other issues single women face.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You women hold all the cards on this site

typical male response

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I've seen a few comments that single women on here have it easy, if only that was true.

I know single men have the worst time, and I sympathise with the minority of genuine and lovely men on here. If I was a single man I'd of given up after a week.

But it really isn't a walk in the park for us single women, as so many seem to think it is.

id hate to have the pick of every single man and couple... u have my sympathy "

???? Would you care to explain how single women have the pick of every single man and couple?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You women hold all the cards on this site

who wants a game of snap?? "

Strip poker would be better

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I struggle to get messages, but I'd probably find being stood up or dealing with time wasters more annoying. Would I be wrong in saying that's the main problem women face?

Yes you're wrong

What is the main problem that women face then?

1) Finding a suitable male

2) Finding a suitable couple for fun

3) Single women have lots of safety issues to consider

Those are just for starters

Those all go for men and couples too. "

Men and couples don't have the safety issues anywhere near the same level as a single woman.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd hate being a woman on Fab so many bitchy comments from self rightous people who are just horrible

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I was a meet buddy for a lady once who texted me the car number plate of the car she was getting into and kept me updated then I was on tenterhooks for hours then she gave the secret code word to prove it was her and she had had a fantastic time with her man. It’s a consideration for men but a lot of us can look after ourselves if need be.

I must admit: I’m one of those who thought women had it easy on here. I suppose it’s a case of sorting the wheat from the chaff.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My fab existence is really easy. I do what makes me happy and I don't try to please anyone else. Those who think they have it hard generally make it hard work by their attitude expectations and approach.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"I think we can all agree that neither 0 interest from anyone nor 999,999,999,999,999,999 idiots pestering us with so much crap that we can't even see our own hands... neither are any good.

5-10 msgs a day would be lovely

One a month from someone who was actually what I am looking for and I would be ecstatic!

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

Men are assuming women have it easy just because they can get a meet.

I'm pretty sure that every woman can get meets easily but there concerns and worries are based on other things rather than just getting the meet.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

" My fab existence is really easy. I do what makes me happy and I don't try to please anyone else. Those who think they have it hard generally make it hard work by their attitude expectations and approach. "

I do what makes me happy too, but finding suitable playmates isn't easy, and I know that goes for us all on here.

However there are other issues, one being finding a genuine man and having the time to build up a high amount of trust. I have fantasies I wish to fulfill but they entail high levels of trust. How does a single woman do that easily?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do what makes me happy too, but finding suitable playmates isn't easy, and I know that goes for us all on here.

By having a relationship with someone. This is what I mean by expectations. If you want something very specific that involves a lot of work then you can't expect to come by that easily. It's going to be hard work. I only meet after I've grown really comfortable while chatting to someone. I don't see it as hard work as I'm in no rush to meet anyone. Why would I complain that something is hard when it's because of my processes it's hard? It could be really easy if I were prepared to meet just anyone.

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By *lkDomWhtSubBiCpleCouple
over a year ago

Somewhere / Everywhere /Kinksville

Read the “it’s not looking good” thread

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

High expectations or sticking to their preferences cos they know what they want?

Also, do we have gender (majority) desires? Simply put - wet dick and any hole's a goal v a great time (subjective)?

If i was part of a couple, my desires would centre on the sex, but i need to find my better half first. Then I'd be happy to just be a hole provider

I feel exactly the same, just need to find that elusive other half so I can be more of a slut!

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By *electableDalliancesCouple
over a year ago

leeds

I do what makes me happy too, but finding suitable playmates isn't easy, and I know that goes for us all on here.

Exactly this, I'd love to dabble with bondage but the trust required means that it would have to be in an ongoing thing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You women hold all the cards on this site "
so true which is Emotionally drained in the end

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By *egasus NobMan
over a year ago

Merton

Men have it as easy as women, in fact, I would say easier just a matter of location. Women outperform men online get loads of message, compliment etc. offline as a guy with confident and social cue, you will have to evade more women than meet and realise any hole isn't a goal.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

High expectations or sticking to their preferences cos they know what they want?

Also, do we have gender (majority) desires? Simply put - wet dick and any hole's a goal v a great time (subjective)?

If i was part of a couple, my desires would centre on the sex, but i need to find my better half first. Then I'd be happy to just be a hole provider

I feel exactly the same, just need to find that elusive other half so I can be more of a slut!

Me too

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By *radleywigginsMan
over a year ago

northwest

"I struggle to get messages, but I'd probably find being stood up or dealing with time wasters more annoying. Would I be wrong in saying that's the main problem women face?

Yes you're wrong

What is the main problem that women face then?

1) Finding a suitable male

2) Finding a suitable couple for fun

3) Single women have lots of safety issues to consider

Those are just for starters

Those all go for men and couples too.

Men and couples don't have the safety issues anywhere near the same level as a single woman."

With regards safety issues I think you’re wrong. The ‘but you might be a serial killer’ line is massively overused and comes about as a result of an uptight risk averse media who propagate the myth that every man is a rapist-killer until proven otherwise.

Most people in real life are decent people. Even more I’d imagine on this website where people at least have a shared interest and are able to talk more frankly.

I’d expect every member to consider the risks on a case by case basis and take whatever action they thought appropriate. In real terms the risk is minuscule, but I doubt I’d meet someone who hadn’t demonstrated to me that they’d at least considered the possibility and had a plan to deal with it.

But to suggest that the danger only applies to women is ridiculous. It’s just that women expect the men to be so grateful to get a the privelidge of a meet with them that they don’t consider the possibility of attack by accompanying men, the sudden appearance of a jealous husband or a well meaning but misunderstanding neighbour. Add to that the much higher chance of robbery, extausion or black mail and the situation for guys doesn’t look so rosy either.

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

If i was part of a couple, my desires would centre on the sex, but i need to find my better half first. Then I'd be happy to just be a hole provider

I feel exactly the same, just need to find that elusive other half so I can be more of a slut!

Do you not think that's deceptive?

If you are looking for a relationship surely you need a man who would be attracted to the woman you would become rather than the act you are putting on now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

High expectations or sticking to their preferences cos they know what they want?

Also, do we have gender (majority) desires? Simply put - wet dick and any hole's a goal v a great time (subjective)?

If i was part of a couple, my desires would centre on the sex, but i need to find my better half first. Then I'd be happy to just be a hole provider

I feel exactly the same, just need to find that elusive other half so I can be more of a slut!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Women are in charge here I think 9 out of 10 men would follow up on getting a message that's where male/female would differ where as a guy would put effort into a message and genuinely like the girl and get hit with a 'deleted' sign sometimes without it even been read! I'm not saying that happens all the time but it has happened to me personally it's not a great feeling! The amount of profiles that read "if I don't reply it's because I get time of messages or I'm not interested"....i wonder how many men profiles say the same

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Women are in charge here I think 9 out of 10 men would follow up on getting a message that's where male/female would differ where as a guy would put effort into a message and genuinely like the girl and get hit with a 'deleted' sign sometimes without it even been read! I'm not saying that happens all the time but it has happened to me personally it's not a great feeling! The amount of profiles that read "if I don't reply it's because I get alot of messages or I'm not interested"....i wonder how many men profiles say the same

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I sympathise with the minority of genuine and lovely men on here.

You don't want us, you ignore us. #read&deleted is the norm. This is without sending a FAF or a dick pic and to people I've already met in clubs

Reading and deleting and not replying is a polite 'no thank you' on this site.

Reading, deleting and not replying isn't 'polite' in any universe.

Read the FAQ

No they don't, many men go petulant with a polite no and then feel the need to insult you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If i was part of a couple, my desires would centre on the sex, but i need to find my better half first. Then I'd be happy to just be a hole provider

I feel exactly the same, just need to find that elusive other half so I can be more of a slut!

Do you not think that's deceptive?

If you are looking for a relationship surely you need a man who would be attracted to the woman you would become rather than the act you are putting on now."

I’m not putting on any act. I just don’t enjoy swinging as a single woman. I’ve done it to death the last 2 years. I want to meet someone in a serious way to explore this together. I’m just being me regardless. Just trying to focus on meeting someone rather than fuck around. I love this life as part of a couple.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We are either ignored or intimated across the board. I would disagree that women have it easier. Men can be aggressive or pushy when in pursuit of a shag. We have a couples profile harass us regularly and is clearly a man posing as a couple.

Basically we are all here asking for something. Sex is wonderful but can still be seen as dangerous, leaving people vulnerable to attack or infection. This is not helped by our innate level of entitlement we all share. The perfect meet with the person of your dreams is not always achievable. The prettiest among us on both sides, will have more opportunities but take more risk.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If i was part of a couple, my desires would centre on the sex, but i need to find my better half first. Then I'd be happy to just be a hole provider

I feel exactly the same, just need to find that elusive other half so I can be more of a slut!

Do you not think that's deceptive?

If you are looking for a relationship surely you need a man who would be attracted to the woman you would become rather than the act you are putting on now."

Oh and my comment was a bit tongue in cheek. Don’t take that seriously.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"But to suggest that the danger only applies to women is ridiculous. It’s just that women expect the men to be so grateful to get a the privelidge of a meet with them that they don’t consider the possibility of attack by accompanying men, the sudden appearance of a jealous husband or a well meaning but misunderstanding neighbour. Add to that the much higher chance of robbery, extausion or black mail and the situation for guys doesn’t look so rosy either."

This!

I was speaking to someone on here a few months ago and my spidey senses were tingling that "she" was a fake/bloke. She wouldn't do a social first and wanted me to go round to hers, in a dodgy part of the city. I didn't go cause I thought I would have been met by a gang of lads and robbed/beaten up.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Women are in charge here I think 9 out of 10 men would follow up on getting a message that's where male/female would differ where as a guy would put effort into a message and genuinely like the girl and get hit with a 'deleted' sign sometimes without it even been read! I'm not saying that happens all the time but it has happened to me personally it's not a great feeling! The amount of profiles that read "if I don't reply it's because I get time of messages or I'm not interested"....i wonder how many men profiles say the same

Do you not think there's a marked difference between politely replying that they're not for you to up to a dozen people a day (which I do might I add, including the a lot of the half of those messages that are single blokes wanting to "suck me with nothing in return") and up to 400-500 in terms of time and effort? As this is why that difference between male/female exists.

If you can't see any difference in that at all then I'm afraid it shows a distinct lack of empathy or being able to put yourself in the minds of your prospective meets and seeing things not only from their perspective, but what will truly excite them...

And if you can't show this ability then it will severely limit your potential of having the most delightful meets...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think people, male, female or couple have equally challenging problems.

Too many, usually men have high expectations when they join a site like fab.

Many think it's instashag instead of swinging. There's a difference.

Women appear to have more choice, along with couples, because of the numbers. Couples find, finding a genuine unicorn that is happy playing with both halves of the couple difficult and 'genuine' single males. I do think, as others have said many messages are deleted because of the attached photo. For example, say of all the men on here, only 15% are found attractive by females/couples. Those 15% are perhaps being contacted and also have choice of who they play with. Again, men being differently wired may find 70% of women/couples attractive, they will receive the bulk of mail, but they are only looking at the 15%, of which may not need to message first. So, it could be argued that, those 70% are receiving unwanted messages from 85% of the men on here. It's all down to numbers.

Then there is the content of the message, read or unread. That also applies from single females and couples.

As for safety, yes a single female will always be more vulnerable than a single female. I remember meeting a couple several years ago, where the guy kept mentioning he was an ex cage fighter. I wasn't sure if I should be impressed or frightened. I was neither but perhaps I should have been.

How many singles are on here looking for a relationship? A good many I would imagine. How many men like the idea of playing with a couple or participating in a gb? Then can't go through with it? What percentage of singles only wish to play with other singles? Too many. How many couples/single females complain about time wasters, usually men. I've seen it too many times. They never look inwardly, at their selection process. I've yet to have my time wasted or waste others. There are many problems associated with this lifestyle, for all sides. It comes down to expectations, how you represent yourself and whether you do your due diligence. If you have your time wasted, whether through writing a message or a meet not turning up, it is because you have allowed it to happen.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This!

Meeting in public is sensible for all concerned.

I once had a guy purport to be a cop - you can trust me, he said. Pfffftttt, I'm still not telling you where i live, i replied

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By *ifty grades of shadyCouple
over a year ago

Carisbrooke, Isle of Wight

This!

Meeting in public is sensible for all concerned.

I once had a guy purport to be a cop - you can trust me, he said. Pfffftttt, I'm still not telling you where i live, i replied

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I struggle to get messages, but I'd probably find being stood up or dealing with time wasters more annoying. Would I be wrong in saying that's the main problem women face?

Yes you're wrong

What is the main problem that women face then?

1) Finding a suitable male

2) Finding a suitable couple for fun

3) Single women have lots of safety issues to consider

Those are just for starters

Those all go for men and couples too.

Men and couples don't have the safety issues anywhere near the same level as a single woman.

Most people in real life are decent people. Even more I’d imagine on this website where people at least have a shared interest and are able to talk more frankly.

I didn't at the danger only applies to women only, but the risk on a single fem is much higher.

A couple meeting a man at his house or a hotel, or even in a private room at a club, its two on one, if the man turns aggressive or abusive on the woman, then she has her partner to help her out.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

To prove a point here regarding men's nesdages being ignored.

I've tried this afternoon to reply to all of my messages with a polite no thank you to the ones that aren't interested.

The results....

About 35% said that's fine and thanks for replying.

About 20% just blocked me

About 15% replied back with saying I was too fat and ugly to fuck anyway,despite their first message saying how sexy and stunning I was.

The remaining continued messaging me with questions about why I wouldn't meet them, would I chat to them anyway, what was wrong with them that I wouldn't meet them. The know when I kept saying I wasn't interested a fair percentage became stroppy and blocked me. The majority also sent friend invites without asking me first, and the anount cock pics I saw, well I lost count.

Perhaps those figures have enlightened some of the issues I was trying to discuss.

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By *xelf787Man
over a year ago

Chorlton, Manchester

"To prove a point here regarding men's nesdages being ignored.

I've tried this afternoon to reply to all of my messages with a polite no thank you to the ones that aren't interested.

The results....

About 35% said that's fine and thanks for replying.

About 20% just blocked me

About 15% replied back with saying I was too fat and ugly to fuck anyway,despite their first message saying how sexy and stunning I was.

Perhaps those figures have enlightened some of the issues I was trying to discuss."

They have exactly and demonstrated there are some sad desperados out there!! Out of curiosity what did the other 30% do ?!! Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To prove a point here regarding men's nesdages being ignored.

I've tried this afternoon to reply to all of my messages with a polite no thank you to the ones that aren't interested.

The results....

About 35% said that's fine and thanks for replying.

About 20% just blocked me

About 15% replied back with saying I was too fat and ugly to fuck anyway,despite their first message saying how sexy and stunning I was.

Perhaps those figures have enlightened some of the issues I was trying to discuss."
pinch of salt over the head

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By *ifty grades of shadyCouple
over a year ago

Carisbrooke, Isle of Wight

Men should watch addicted to sexting on Netflix, might help a few out

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By *radleywigginsMan
over a year ago

northwest

"To prove a point here regarding men's nesdages being ignored.

I've tried this afternoon to reply to all of my messages with a polite no thank you to the ones that aren't interested.

The results....

About 35% said that's fine and thanks for replying.

About 20% just blocked me

About 15% replied back with saying I was too fat and ugly to fuck anyway,despite their first message saying how sexy and stunning I was.

Perhaps those figures have enlightened some of the issues I was trying to discuss."

To prove a point.. how many of the men you messaged have Ignored, deleted or blocked you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To prove a point here regarding men's nesdages being ignored.

I've tried this afternoon to reply to all of my messages with a polite no thank you to the ones that aren't interested.

The results....

About 35% said that's fine and thanks for replying.

About 20% just blocked me

About 15% replied back with saying I was too fat and ugly to fuck anyway,despite their first message saying how sexy and stunning I was.

Perhaps those figures have enlightened some of the issues I was trying to discuss.

They have exactly and demonstrated there are some sad desperados out there!! Out of curiosity what did the other 30% do ?!! Lol

"The remaining...."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To prove a point here regarding men's nesdages being ignored.

I've tried this afternoon to reply to all of my messages with a polite no thank you to the ones that aren't interested.

The results....

About 35% said that's fine and thanks for replying.

About 20% just blocked me

About 15% replied back with saying I was too fat and ugly to fuck anyway,despite their first message saying how sexy and stunning I was.

Perhaps those figures have enlightened some of the issues I was trying to discuss."

But how many of those initial messages sent to you weren't just FAF and cock pics? And how many of the messages with effort put into them either blocked you, replied with nasty comments or bugged you asking why?

You haven't really proved anything if you don't provide us with all of the facts.

I imagine the messages you receive that say you're stunning and sexy would probably come from the group of men who are just chancing it and not putting in any effort. I know that whenever I send a message, I never compliment a women on her looks because there's no point. It's not likely to get me a positive result because they hear it all of the time. Instead I comment on their clothes or any tattoos they might have, something other than the generic ''u is sex'' messages.

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By *host63Man
over a year ago

Bedfont Feltham

"I've seen a few comments that single women on here have it easy, if only that was true.

I know single men have the worst time, and I sympathise with the minority of genuine and lovely men on here. If I was a single man I'd of given up after a week.

elaborate a little?

But it really isn't a walk in the park for us single women, as so many seem to think it is.

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

"I sympathise with the minority of genuine and lovely men on here.

You don't want us, you ignore us. #read&deleted is the norm. This is without sending a FAF or a dick pic and to people I've already met in clubs

Reading and deleting and not replying is a polite 'no thank you' on this site.

Reading, deleting and not replying isn't 'polite' in any universe."

If a message is not replied to then surely the sender should assume the lady is not interested.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"To prove a point here regarding men's nesdages being ignored.

I've tried this afternoon to reply to all of my messages with a polite no thank you to the ones that aren't interested.

The results....

About 35% said that's fine and thanks for replying.

About 20% just blocked me

About 15% replied back with saying I was too fat and ugly to fuck anyway,despite their first message saying how sexy and stunning I was.

Perhaps those figures have enlightened some of the issues I was trying to discuss.

They have exactly and demonstrated there are some sad desperados out there!! Out of curiosity what did the other 30% do ?!! Lol

"
I've explained the other 30%, I phrased it as 'the remaining'

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"To prove a point here regarding men's nesdages being ignored.

I've tried this afternoon to reply to all of my messages with a polite no thank you to the ones that aren't interested.

The results....

About 35% said that's fine and thanks for replying.

About 20% just blocked me

About 15% replied back with saying I was too fat and ugly to fuck anyway,despite their first message saying how sexy and stunning I was.

Perhaps those figures have enlightened some of the issues I was trying to discuss.

To prove a point.. how many of the men you messaged have Ignored, deleted or blocked you?"

How do you mean? As in me messaging them first? Men messaging me first?

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By *radleywigginsMan
over a year ago

northwest

"To prove a point here regarding men's nesdages being ignored.

I've tried this afternoon to reply to all of my messages with a polite no thank you to the ones that aren't interested.

The results....

About 35% said that's fine and thanks for replying.

About 20% just blocked me

About 15% replied back with saying I was too fat and ugly to fuck anyway,despite their first message saying how sexy and stunning I was.

Perhaps those figures have enlightened some of the issues I was trying to discuss.

To prove a point.. how many of the men you messaged have Ignored, deleted or blocked you?

How do you mean? As in me messaging them first? Men messaging me first?"

Out of the ones you messaged first.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"To prove a point here regarding men's nesdages being ignored.

I've tried this afternoon to reply to all of my messages with a polite no thank you to the ones that aren't interested.

The results....

About 35% said that's fine and thanks for replying.

About 20% just blocked me

About 15% replied back with saying I was too fat and ugly to fuck anyway,despite their first message saying how sexy and stunning I was.

Perhaps those figures have enlightened some of the issues I was trying to discuss.

To prove a point.. how many of the men you messaged have Ignored, deleted or blocked you?

How do you mean? As in me messaging them first? Men messaging me first?

Out of the ones you messaged first."

The single men, Idon't get many to be honest, but I will get rejected, which is totally fine. I do get regularly ignored and deleted by couples and other single women though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To prove a point here regarding men's nesdages being ignored.

I've tried this afternoon to reply to all of my messages with a polite no thank you to the ones that aren't interested.

The results....

About 35% said that's fine and thanks for replying.

About 20% just blocked me

About 15% replied back with saying I was too fat and ugly to fuck anyway,despite their first message saying how sexy and stunning I was.

Perhaps those figures have enlightened some of the issues I was trying to discuss."

Was your reply the exact words "no thank you" ?

Hope you reported the abusive ones. x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"To prove a point here regarding men's nesdages being ignored.

I've tried this afternoon to reply to all of my messages with a polite no thank you to the ones that aren't interested.

The results....

About 35% said that's fine and thanks for replying.

About 20% just blocked me

About 15% replied back with saying I was too fat and ugly to fuck anyway,despite their first message saying how sexy and stunning I was.

Perhaps those figures have enlightened some of the issues I was trying to discuss.

Was your reply the exact words "no thank you" ?

Hope you reported the abusive ones. x

I replied with 'thank you for your message but I'm afraid I'm not interested. Take care and happy swinging'

I still received abuse, blocks and strops.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To prove a point here regarding men's nesdages being ignored.

I've tried this afternoon to reply to all of my messages with a polite no thank you to the ones that aren't interested.

The results....

About 35% said that's fine and thanks for replying.

About 20% just blocked me

About 15% replied back with saying I was too fat and ugly to fuck anyway,despite their first message saying how sexy and stunning I was.

Perhaps those figures have enlightened some of the issues I was trying to discuss.

Was your reply the exact words "no thank you" ?

Hope you reported the abusive ones. x

I replied with 'thank you for your message but I'm afraid I'm not interested. Take care and happy swinging'

I still received abuse, blocks and strops."

You hurt their feelings because you're rejecting them personally. You're saying you don't want to fuck them.

If you say something like "sorry you're too far away" it's not personal. Or if they send a face pic - "you look great but not what I'm looking for sorry. Hope you find someone nice". Little white lie softens the blow.

Not trying to tell you what to do, just some tips that I know work.

Once I've said my 'no thank you' I don't reply again. Doesn't matter if they ask why not.. or they'll drive the 400 miles to me.. or they're sure I'll have lots of fun with them even though they are 20 years outside my age range etc etc.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"To prove a point here regarding men's nesdages being ignored.

I've tried this afternoon to reply to all of my messages with a polite no thank you to the ones that aren't interested.

The results....

About 35% said that's fine and thanks for replying.

About 20% just blocked me

About 15% replied back with saying I was too fat and ugly to fuck anyway,despite their first message saying how sexy and stunning I was.

Perhaps those figures have enlightened some of the issues I was trying to discuss.

Was your reply the exact words "no thank you" ?

Hope you reported the abusive ones. x

I replied with 'thank you for your message but I'm afraid I'm not interested. Take care and happy swinging'

I still received abuse, blocks and strops.

You hurt their feelings because you're rejecting them personally. You're saying you don't want to fuck them.

Not trying to tell you what to do, just some tips that I know work.

So you're saying that I have to pussy foot around strangers on an internet site and lie to them, rather than tell the truth to people who are meant to be grown ups? Really?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Agree with you! Some guys on here can be so nasty and so many timewasters

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To prove a point here regarding men's nesdages being ignored.

I've tried this afternoon to reply to all of my messages with a polite no thank you to the ones that aren't interested.

The results....

About 35% said that's fine and thanks for replying.

About 20% just blocked me

About 15% replied back with saying I was too fat and ugly to fuck anyway,despite their first message saying how sexy and stunning I was.

Perhaps those figures have enlightened some of the issues I was trying to discuss.

Was your reply the exact words "no thank you" ?

Hope you reported the abusive ones. x

I replied with 'thank you for your message but I'm afraid I'm not interested. Take care and happy swinging'

I still received abuse, blocks and strops.

You hurt their feelings because you're rejecting them personally. You're saying you don't want to fuck them.

Not trying to tell you what to do, just some tips that I know work.

I just say ‘sorry but I’m politely declining’ and wish them luck on fab. If they don’t like that then it’s tough. I’ve been polite. When they keep asking why again and again, I have to be blunt and truthful.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To prove a point here regarding men's nesdages being ignored.

I've tried this afternoon to reply to all of my messages with a polite no thank you to the ones that aren't interested.

The results....

About 35% said that's fine and thanks for replying.

About 20% just blocked me

About 15% replied back with saying I was too fat and ugly to fuck anyway,despite their first message saying how sexy and stunning I was.

Perhaps those figures have enlightened some of the issues I was trying to discuss.

Was your reply the exact words "no thank you" ?

Hope you reported the abusive ones. x

I replied with 'thank you for your message but I'm afraid I'm not interested. Take care and happy swinging'

I still received abuse, blocks and strops.

You hurt their feelings because you're rejecting them personally. You're saying you don't want to fuck them.

Not trying to tell you what to do, just some tips that I know work.

I rarely get a nasty message but it’s the 10 questions after as to why I’m saying no and trying to change my mind.

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By *he Happy ManMan
over a year ago

Merseyside

"Women do have it easy compared to guys.

It's true that you have to go through a selection process but we're the ones that have to compete."

If women are prepared to fuck anybody who emails them then yes they have it easy.

Women have standards. They don't just want to fuck anybody who asks. They want to fuck somebody they are attracted to.

To find somebody they are attracted to women have to wade through loads of emails saying "Hi wanna fuck?".

I have seen a friends inbox. Women have a hard time dealing with all the idiots on here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To prove a point here regarding men's nesdages being ignored.

I've tried this afternoon to reply to all of my messages with a polite no thank you to the ones that aren't interested.

The results....

About 35% said that's fine and thanks for replying.

About 20% just blocked me

About 15% replied back with saying I was too fat and ugly to fuck anyway,despite their first message saying how sexy and stunning I was.

Perhaps those figures have enlightened some of the issues I was trying to discuss.

Was your reply the exact words "no thank you" ?

Hope you reported the abusive ones. x

I replied with 'thank you for your message but I'm afraid I'm not interested. Take care and happy swinging'

I still received abuse, blocks and strops.

You hurt their feelings because you're rejecting them personally. You're saying you don't want to fuck them.

Not trying to tell you what to do, just some tips that I know work.

Thank you but no thank you is succinct, polite and no lying.

Mind you i do ignore those who have obviously not read my wonderful profile

- unless my sarcastic head is on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To prove a point here regarding men's nesdages being ignored.

I've tried this afternoon to reply to all of my messages with a polite no thank you to the ones that aren't interested.

The results....

About 35% said that's fine and thanks for replying.

About 20% just blocked me

About 15% replied back with saying I was too fat and ugly to fuck anyway,despite their first message saying how sexy and stunning I was.

Perhaps those figures have enlightened some of the issues I was trying to discuss.

Was your reply the exact words "no thank you" ?

Hope you reported the abusive ones. x

I replied with 'thank you for your message but I'm afraid I'm not interested. Take care and happy swinging'

I still received abuse, blocks and strops.

You hurt their feelings because you're rejecting them personally. You're saying you don't want to fuck them.

Not trying to tell you what to do, just some tips that I know work.

Thank you but no thank you is succinct, polite and no lying.

Mind you i do ignore those who have obviously not read my wonderful profile

- unless my sarcastic head is on

I have those days. A guy wouldn’t let it go earlier, he then came back and asked if I was into 2 guys. I said I prefer couple swapping. . He asked if I was into swinging, I replied that this is a swinging site. He was genuinely surprised.

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By *emaleinthedarkWoman
over a year ago

London

I assure you. I haven’t had it easy.

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By *he Happy ManMan
over a year ago

Merseyside

"I struggle to get messages, but I'd probably find being stood up or dealing with time wasters more annoying. Would I be wrong in saying that's the main problem women face?

Yes you're wrong

What is the main problem that women face then?

1) Finding a suitable male

2) Finding a suitable couple for fun

3) Single women have lots of safety issues to consider

Those are just for starters

Those all go for men and couples too.

Men and couples don't have the safety issues anywhere near the same level as a single woman."

I disagree. Safety is an issue for everyone.

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By *inful xWoman
over a year ago

In a sleepy little village

Abuse . Stalking. Sexual assault. I'd hardly say I'd had it easy on here

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