FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to Swingers Chat

Attached or married playing alone.e

Jump to newest
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Just had to read our profile again to check it says we don't meet attached people who play alone.

I was in the chat room earlier and got a random pm from a married guy who asked us if we like cam fun. I replied we prefer to meet in the flesh, but we do use a webcam to verify we are a couple.

I asked if his wife knows he used this site. Of course he replied no.

We don't like the idea of people cheating on their partners. How do other people feel about this?

P.s . As our profile clearly states " we do meet singles"

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham

Personally i think there are sites out there for married people,escorts and marriage counselling.Married people here tend to have a list of excuses as long as their arm as why those three options are not viable and they "have" to be on a swinging site.

There tend to be fewer on pay sites cos they cant hide the bill.They can trot out every reason as to why they wont go to counselling but as far as i am concerned they want to have their cake and eat it.

i am currently reading Erich Fromm,one of the therapeutic geniuses of the 20th century and he writes of the danger of wanting everything to be easy.People have become convinced that the highest goal is to avoid pain,and use that as an excuse for their behavior.

Only the person who has faith in himself is able to be faithful to others.

Erich Fromm

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I personally would allow others to do as they please as it is nobodies business but theirs why they do what they do as long as they are honest about being attached which then allows others to have their choice about whether they want to meet or not. As for saying they need to be on other sites why shouldnt they be on here they will find as many people who will meet them as will not meet them. If people find a profile they don't like block move on to 1 that they do like its really easy

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *weet threesome wifeCouple
over a year ago

somewhere out there

i personally wouldnt go near a married or attached man, it would be wrong for me, he can do as he likes, thats his choice, but not with me i choose not to be part of it, i wouldnt want to be the wife left at home, yes that bit is a judgment that is also my choice to empathise

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey


"I personally would allow others to do as they please as it is nobodies business but theirs why they do what they do as long as they are honest about being attached which then allows others to have their choice about whether they want to meet or not. As for saying they need to be on other sites why shouldnt they be on here they will find as many people who will meet them as will not meet them. If people find a profile they don't like block move on to 1 that they do like its really easy "

+1

very well put

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *lack_BoltMan
over a year ago

oxford


"I personally would allow others to do as they please as it is nobodies business but theirs why they do what they do as long as they are honest about being attached which then allows others to have their choice about whether they want to meet or not. As for saying they need to be on other sites why shouldnt they be on here they will find as many people who will meet them as will not meet them. If people find a profile they don't like block move on to 1 that they do like its really easy

+1

very well put"

I also fully agree. Can't understand why people feel the need to tell others how to live their lives.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just had to read our profile again to check it says we don't meet attached people who play alone.

I was in the chat room earlier and got a random pm from a married guy who asked us if we like cam fun. I replied we prefer to meet in the flesh, but we do use a webcam to verify we are a couple.

I asked if his wife knows he used this site. Of course he replied no.

We don't like the idea of people cheating on their partners. How do other people feel about this?

P.s . As our profile clearly states " we do meet singles""

I think you will find that many people in chat do not look at your profile before speaking to you..... happens to me all the time, women asking if im bi, couples asking me to meet, over 50's from essex/scotland asking if im avail... grrr, read the profile!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I personally would allow others to do as they please as it is nobodies business but theirs why they do what they do as long as they are honest about being attached which then allows others to have their choice about whether they want to meet or not. As for saying they need to be on other sites why shouldnt they be on here they will find as many people who will meet them as will not meet them. If people find a profile they don't like block move on to 1 that they do like its really easy

+1

very well put

I also fully agree. Can't understand why people feel the need to tell others how to live their lives. "

I'm in total agreement too. Likewise don't understand the need to tell others how to lead their lives.

I choose not to meet attached men, I have no need to. If, after I've stated that I don't meet married men and they contact me, then I have no qualms in telling them about themselves!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How about if wifes handy-capped and cant do sex ... and she has told him to come on sites like this ... but dont wish to know in s and outs .

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Being in this particular boat myself, although my wife knows I'm on here as she used to be on here with me many years back I'm reminded of a poster that was posted on facebook which read:-

Dont worry about what people say about behind your back or to your face, these are the people who are finding faults in your life instead of fixing the faults in their own life.

People always have a go at me about my status but I just ignore and move on, there are plenty on here that don't mind meeting attached guys, saying that, its certainly been a while for me, any offers

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How about if wifes handy-capped and cant do sex ... and she has told him to come on sites like this ... but dont wish to know in s and outs ."

thats very true, but our feer is a wife or husband turning up and asking why we had been fucking her men/wife.

this almost happened to us once, so married or attached is a no no to us, but welcome to come and play as a couple

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"How about if wifes handy-capped and cant do sex ... and she has told him to come on sites like this ... but dont wish to know in s and outs .

thats very true, but our feer is a wife or husband turning up and asking why we had been fucking her men/wife.

this almost happened to us once, so married or attached is a no no to us, but welcome to come and play as a couple "

That's exactly how we feel.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

How people live their lives is no one else's business, HOWEVER... other people's preferences need to be respected and that is usually dependant on 2 things

the married person's honesty

the person with the preference's judgement.

attached people have every right to be here, people also have every right to meet them or not.

the same applies to preferences regarding to barebackers, bi guys etc etc.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

ps.... sadly too many try and hide their true status and deceive to get meets.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

[Removed by poster at 09/11/11 09:59:54]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo


"ps.... sadly too many try and hide their true status and deceive to get meets."

I am not surprised why at times.

To the OP....there are lots of people who don't read profiles or disregard them when they do, I doubt that will change on any site.

To the married people asking for a meet, we just answer No Thanks the same as we say No Thanks to the couples or one half of a married couple who ask us for meets.

Married people are allowed to have a profile on this site, if people don't want to play with them then they have a choice to say No thanks too but there are people who say yes please.

It is all about choice....your choice.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn


"ps.... sadly too many try and hide their true status and deceive to get meets.

I am not surprised why at times.

To the OP....there are lots of people who don't read profiles or disregard them when they do, I doubt that will change on any site.

To the married people asking for a meet, we just answer No Thanks the same as we say No Thanks to the couples or one half of a married couple who ask us for meets.

Married people are allowed to have a profile on this site, if people don't want to play with them then they have a choice to say No thanks too but there are people who say yes please.

It is all about choice....your choice. "

agree with every word

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

the problem with this is always consent.. or implied consent... if you can ring the other half and they are happy.. not an issue...

honesty is a funny thing around here,

you can be "honest" in a profile, and yet not be "honest" to the one person in the world you are suppose to truely love.....

Ironic and heartbreaking at the same time....

As I said to the person who broke my heart "the last thing you were thinking off as you were bouncing up and down on someones else's cock at the time was me!!!"

it is always an emotive subject... i try to be as dispassionate about it when answering replies as I can....

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What if your partner at home has a medical condition and has been to the doctor but still cant please you. What is a woman to do then?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham


"the problem with this is always consent.. or implied consent... if you can ring the other half and they are happy.. not an issue...

honesty is a funny thing around here,

you can be "honest" in a profile, and yet not be "honest" to the one person in the world you are suppose to truely love.....

Ironic and heartbreaking at the same time....

As I said to the person who broke my heart "the last thing you were thinking off as you were bouncing up and down on someones else's cock at the time was me!!!"

it is always an emotive subject... i try to be as dispassionate about it when answering replies as I can....

"

i do find honesty has a variable meaning on here

And just for the record i dont think married people should be banned from the site,i think they should look at why they are here.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

I truly believe this subject would not cause as much grief if people didn't feel the need to justify why they are here...

the justification is usually placed on the shortcomings of a 3rd party.

if people just got on with it....

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i am married and say so in profile , every one as there own reason to be on here and reasons there would like to find extra sex fun friendship but do not wish to end a marrage, that might be good in every other way or that sex as ended due to illness , someone not wanted to meet me due to been married is fine, as is other couples that are happy to meet married men knowing a married man is not going to go in pub and tell everyone. this is one place i would not expect to be judged, one rule i have on here is never lair about been married, same as i could never go in a pub and pick someone up saying i was single

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree with you, what is a woman to do, for a man it appears easier some how. As soon as the woman starts to look around then names are always added. Personally we only have one life and there are times when a rabbit wont do the trick

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How about if wifes handy-capped and cant do sex ... and she has told him to come on sites like this ... but dont wish to know in s and outs ."

i think the term is disabled

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They can do what they like but not with me. That doesn't mean i think its acceptable and it doesn't mean i approve because i dont but as long as i dont get drawn in to the cheating situation as i am not in the relationship.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"They can do what they like but not with me. That doesn't mean i think its acceptable and it doesn't mean i approve because i dont but as long as i dont get drawn in to the cheating situation as i am not in the relationship."

+1

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am married and state it- I am here because I do NOT want an affair, I want sex- I don't want the emotional evolvement with an affair I just want good sex.. I never lie about being married I never play at home out of respect for Hubbie and my life is now full-13 years without sex and now I am content- I don't swing offen but when I want sex I do. Swinging for me gives me what I don't have at home- I am a swinger not a cheater.. we all have our choices and this is mine and as much as I understand and accept others points of _iew this works for me.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire


"How about if wifes handy-capped and cant do sex ... and she has told him to come on sites like this ... but dont wish to know in s and outs .

i think the term is disabled "

does it really matter??

look at what 'disabled' means and look at what hadicapped means, pretty nuch the same.

what about any perceived difference between ooh lets see.... pedantic / picky?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

For the record we have no problem at all with attached people who meet alone with their partners full approval.

It's the people who deceive the people that they are supposed to love who we don't understand.

We wonder how they would feel if the boot was on the other foot.

Surely complete honesty and openness in a relationship is very important.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How about if wifes handy-capped and cant do sex ... and she has told him to come on sites like this ... but dont wish to know in s and outs .

i think the term is disabled

does it really matter??

look at what 'disabled' means and look at what hadicapped means, pretty nuch the same.

what about any perceived difference between ooh lets see.... pedantic / picky?"
#

i hate the term many of my friends have disabitlies and they hate being called handicapped

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How about if wifes handy-capped and cant do sex ... and she has told him to come on sites like this ... but dont wish to know in s and outs ."

What's that got to do with me?!!

There are plenty that do play with married men, so why would they need to contact those that specifically state they don't want to?!!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wont meet married guys playing away for many reasons

But saying that if others are playing away its not my life so i really dont care, i dont think they need another site

swinging is an act not a marrital status

Im not a swinger, im a single woman looking to meet single guys so does that mean i shouldnt bugger off to fabflirts and leave here?

everyones here for their own reason so long as people are honest thats all that matters

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *innamon!Woman
over a year ago

no matter

Im just window shopping Not here to hurt anyone.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead


"I am married and state it- I am here because I do NOT want an affair, I want sex- I don't want the emotional evolvement with an affair I just want good sex.. I never lie about being married I never play at home out of respect for Hubbie and my life is now full-13 years without sex and now I am content- I don't swing offen but when I want sex I do. Swinging for me gives me what I don't have at home- I am a swinger not a cheater.. we all have our choices and this is mine and as much as I understand and accept others points of _iew this works for me. "

again.. trying to be as dispassionate as I can

not picking on you personally... but the post above is one of those that drives people mad...

its not the fact that you do or you don't... it is the "Justification" that always gets to people

I call it the "well i'm different because....." arguement

you may see yourself as "one thing", others may well see you as "something else"... their problem/your problem/no problem (delete whichever your feel is fair)

I can't believe what I am going to say next... I agree with Archangel...

a lot of people are not going to want to get involved in someone else's "Web of deceit"....

a lot of people have been on the receiving end of what happens in someone else's "web of deceit"... not nice at all

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How about if wifes handy-capped and cant do sex ... and she has told him to come on sites like this ... but dont wish to know in s and outs .

i think the term is disabled

does it really matter??

look at what 'disabled' means and look at what hadicapped means, pretty nuch the same.

what about any perceived difference between ooh lets see.... pedantic / picky?#

i hate the term many of my friends have disabitlies and they hate being called handicapped"

+1

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Im just window shopping Not here to hurt anyone."

And I'm with you on that, I like the forums and I like chat sorry all you who find a married person on here offensive, if it really bugs ya block me n move on!!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ittlemorespiceCouple
over a year ago

North Cornwall

Well I guess this is a subject which applies on here however...it boils down to one thing.. choice.

Trouble is choice is only available if all the information is available..which let's face it...it often isnt. I felt quite strongly about it when we joined the site but as my oh says..we just can't police it. He does ask them man to man if he is suspicious but saying..we need to know so that we don't drop them in it. He says that we aren't here to judge and adults make their own decisions. Having said that he finds guys asking me to meet alone annoying lol. Most guys on here will meet married women if they are hot enough..full stop. For men, well it is a little harder. I would like yo think that men are just less judgemental but suspect that they just think with a different organ. to sum up....each to their own!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *empnbunkCouple
over a year ago

south coast

Each to their own,live n let live we are all dif in some way and look for dif things if we were all the same it'd be a very boring world if someone msgs us that doesnt fit with what we are looking for (for any reason) then its a thanks but no thanks

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

lots of people prefer married guys

i have friend on here who only meets married guys as she says they are less hassle

dones not matter whats your situation is on a site this big theres someone for everyone

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I personally would allow others to do as they please as it is nobodies business but theirs why they do what they do as long as they are honest about being attached which then allows others to have their choice about whether they want to meet or not. As for saying they need to be on other sites why shouldnt they be on here they will find as many people who will meet them as will not meet them. If people find a profile they don't like block move on to 1 that they do like its really easy "

I like this _iew because it does not make us slaves to rules. If someone says I don't do xyz because the rules say so then they too end up falling foul of some other rule or not. For example, many people would disaprove of swinging.

What you are saying here is, be honest and do not hide information so all concerned can judge a situation and make informed and considered choices; hey, isn't that what rational decision making is?

I'm with you. I would want to understand why someone wanted to do something and then I'd make my personal value judgement on that and then my decision.

Nihil est sine rationale (Nothing is without reason)

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

the end of it all

we are all adults and we can all make our own minds up

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am married and state it- I am here because I do NOT want an affair, I want sex- I don't want the emotional evolvement with an affair I just want good sex.. I never lie about being married I never play at home out of respect for Hubbie and my life is now full-13 years without sex and now I am content- I don't swing offen but when I want sex I do. Swinging for me gives me what I don't have at home- I am a swinger not a cheater.. we all have our choices and this is mine and as much as I understand and accept others points of _iew this works for me.

again.. trying to be as dispassionate as I can

not picking on you personally... but the post above is one of those that drives people mad...

its not the fact that you do or you don't... it is the "Justification" that always gets to people

I call it the "well i'm different because....." arguement

you may see yourself as "one thing", others may well see you as "something else"... their problem/your problem/no problem (delete whichever your feel is fair)

I can't believe what I am going to say next... I agree with Archangel...

a lot of people are not going to want to get involved in someone else's "Web of deceit"....

a lot of people have been on the receiving end of what happens in someone else's "web of deceit"... not nice at all

"

You have quoted my post and said don't take it personal following with WEB OF DECEIT.. I take this VERY personal and take great offense at it!!!!

My husband know what I do speaks to the people If they want confirmation and how can you take my post and do that...... its on my profile that I play with his knowledge and if you take the time to read a post I make before judging me read the whole thing... I DO NOT CHEAT I PLAY WITH PERMISSION AND I am so saddened that someone would think that is the type of person I am. Emotional yes- because I have been hurt from cheating and would never hurt someone like that

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *weet threesome wifeCouple
over a year ago

somewhere out there

it has been pointed out many times in this thread that it is no ones business what u do, as a married or attached person here however everyone has the right to a choice of weather or not to be with married or attached men or woman, and if they choose they dont do married or attached thats nobodys business either, we all have a right to be here and a right to choose who to be with or not

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire


"How about if wifes handy-capped and cant do sex ... and she has told him to come on sites like this ... but dont wish to know in s and outs .

i think the term is disabled

does it really matter??

look at what 'disabled' means and look at what hadicapped means, pretty nuch the same.

what about any perceived difference between ooh lets see.... pedantic / picky?#

i hate the term many of my friends have disabitlies and they hate being called handicapped"

dont think you can say that the term was aimed toward your friends, unless they are all on here also

it was a general point being made

we have family members with disabilities also, thats not the issue

your post had nothing to do with the original post, you saw a chance to be picky and took it. imho

a simple pm would have sufficed, quite often people will say oh sorry and take it on board

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just had to read our profile again to check it says we don't meet attached people who play alone.

I was in the chat room earlier and got a random pm from a married guy who asked us if we like cam fun. I replied we prefer to meet in the flesh, but we do use a webcam to verify we are a couple.

I asked if his wife knows he used this site. Of course he replied no.

We don't like the idea of people cheating on their partners. How do other people feel about this?

P.s . As our profile clearly states " we do meet singles"

I think you will find that many people in chat do not look at your profile before speaking to you..... happens to me all the time, women asking if im bi, couples asking me to meet, over 50's from essex/scotland asking if im avail... grrr, read the profile! "

I've had the same hence I don't bother with it anymore

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

i do find honesty has a variable meaning on here

"

So do we, normally depends on gender to a large extent.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I suppose this topic was about due again. What does it matter what other people do. If you don't want to play with married blokes playing away then don't do it. Quietly and without fuss.

If I want lessons on morality I will go to church on Sunday morning! I certainly wouldn't look for them on a swingers site!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I suppose this topic was about due again. What does it matter what other people do. If you don't want to play with married blokes playing away then don't do it. Quietly and without fuss.

If I want lessons on morality I will go to church on Sunday morning! I certainly wouldn't look for them on a swingers site!

"

Are you saying swingers don't have morals?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top