FabSwingers.com forum: Hi how are you messages

By *eordie1978 OP Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

I read a lot of people’s profiles and a lot of them say come up with something more imaginative than “hello, how are you” to start the message.

Is this not a polite start to a message?? What do people expect?

And I know a lot or women/couples probably just get a “hi how you doing” with nothing else in the message, but is it not a good start??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I read a lot of people’s profiles and a lot of them say come up with something more imaginative than “hello, how are you” to start the message.

Is this not a polite start to a message?? What do people expect?

And I know a lot or women/couples probably just get a “hi how you doing” with nothing else in the message, but is it not a good start??"

Fine as an intro. Leaves me a bit flat if it's the entire content of the message.

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By *_Yeah19Couple
over a year ago

Lincoln

As you mentioned, everyone says this dull one liner which takes absolutely zero effort.

Polite it may be but aren’t we all on here for that little bit extra than the norm?

I advise to make any message funny, the saying ‘laugh the knickers of em’ has stood me well over the years

SSS x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Once you've said I'm OK or any other generic thing then it needs to lead into other things.

It often just doesn't.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I read a lot of people’s profiles and a lot of them say come up with something more imaginative than “hello, how are you” to start the message.

Is this not a polite start to a message?? What do people expect?

And I know a lot or women/couples probably just get a “hi how you doing” with nothing else in the message, but is it not a good start??

Fine as an intro. Leaves me a bit flat if it's the entire content of the message. "

Surely it should be ok as an ice breaker?

If the recipient is interested then conversation should flow.

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By *_Yeah19Couple
over a year ago

Lincoln

"I read a lot of people’s profiles and a lot of them say come up with something more imaginative than “hello, how are you” to start the message.

Is this not a polite start to a message?? What do people expect?

And I know a lot or women/couples probably just get a “hi how you doing” with nothing else in the message, but is it not a good start??

Fine as an intro. Leaves me a bit flat if it's the entire content of the message.

Surely it should be ok as an ice breaker?

If the recipient is interested then conversation should flow."

If it works for you, then you stick with it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I read a lot of people’s profiles and a lot of them say come up with something more imaginative than “hello, how are you” to start the message.

Is this not a polite start to a message?? What do people expect?

And I know a lot or women/couples probably just get a “hi how you doing” with nothing else in the message, but is it not a good start??

Fine as an intro. Leaves me a bit flat if it's the entire content of the message.

Surely it should be ok as an ice breaker?

If the recipient is interested then conversation should flow.

If it works for you, then you stick with it

Im not saying it does or it doesnt.

Most of the time a nice well written message is dismissed as quickly as a short message.

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By *bsolutebeginnersCouple
over a year ago

Planet Ork

It’s not the size that counts

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By *londieddWoman
over a year ago

fife

"Once you've said I'm OK or any other generic thing then it needs to lead into other things.

It often just doesn't. "

Of course it does it leads to wuut, then you delete! Lesson learned just delete the hi how are you, but it's clearly stated on my profile that I will do this so no harm done when I do, right?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ah c'mon! It doesn't really take much effort to come up with an alternative to the monosylable standard. Unless you are blanket spamming. But then you should have at least three or four templates saved already so you can alternate at least. Surely?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I read a lot of people’s profiles and a lot of them say come up with something more imaginative than “hello, how are you” to start the message.

Is this not a polite start to a message?? What do people expect?

And I know a lot or women/couples probably just get a “hi how you doing” with nothing else in the message, but is it not a good start??

Fine as an intro. Leaves me a bit flat if it's the entire content of the message.

Surely it should be ok as an ice breaker?

If the recipient is interested then conversation should flow.

If it works for you, then you stick with it

Im not saying it does or it doesnt.

Most of the time a nice well written message is dismissed as quickly as a short message."

I think you just summed up the answer to your own question!

It's a Fab fact that most messages will not get a reply. We all know the ladies and many couples receive shed loads of them. However, a well written message stands that slightly better chance of a reply than a short 'how are you?' which is guaranteed the bin ...

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By *oubledongWoman
over a year ago

Headington, Oxford

One liner 'how are you','want to chat' etc messages are completely pointless and get deleted right away.

You are contacting us because you are interested in having fun, so get to the point and tell us what attracted you to our profile and why we might be interested in you instead of the hundred other messages waiting in the inbox.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I read a lot of people’s profiles and a lot of them say come up with something more imaginative than “hello, how are you” to start the message.

Is this not a polite start to a message?? What do people expect?

And I know a lot or women/couples probably just get a “hi how you doing” with nothing else in the message, but is it not a good start??"

We are more than happy with a “Hi I’m so and so” for a first contact.

If we choose to reply that’s where we will chat and get more info.

We don’t need war and peace in a first message.

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By *eordie1978 OP Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

"I read a lot of people’s profiles and a lot of them say come up with something more imaginative than “hello, how are you” to start the message.

Is this not a polite start to a message?? What do people expect?

And I know a lot or women/couples probably just get a “hi how you doing” with nothing else in the message, but is it not a good start??

We are more than happy with a “Hi I’m so and so” for a first contact.

If we choose to reply that’s where we will chat and get more info.

We don’t need war and peace in a first message."

I think the initial hi how are you is an ice breaker and a better form than a wink to see if the other party is interested if they reply then the conversation can flow/start from there!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I read a lot of people’s profiles and a lot of them say come up with something more imaginative than “hello, how are you” to start the message.

Is this not a polite start to a message?? What do people expect?

And I know a lot or women/couples probably just get a “hi how you doing” with nothing else in the message, but is it not a good start??

We are more than happy with a “Hi I’m so and so” for a first contact.

If we choose to reply that’s where we will chat and get more info.

We don’t need war and peace in a first message.

I think the initial hi how are you is an ice breaker and a better form than a wink to see if the other party is interested if they reply then the conversation can flow/start from there!!"

That’s exactly how we like it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As long as your first message is polite, your profile and pictures are by far the biggest reason you'll get an initial reply. Don't ever think that a wonderful message will make up for a poor profile. On the other hand, a wink from a great profile can trigger a response.

Couples and women who actually regularly meet are far less hung up on receiving war and peace in the first message.

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By *itty9899Man
over a year ago

Craggy Island

"hello, how are you"

You need a little more in order to increase your chances of a response like a open question rather then a one word response

Just ask yourself if it was you want would you ask yourself to get a response

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By *ackDMissMorganCouple
over a year ago

Halifax

For me it v much depends on the profile that's sent it

If they have a good profile and pics then I don't mind a how are you message.

If it's just a cock pic and will fill in later profile,instant delete.

Miss

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By *eordie1978 OP Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

So has anyone got an example of a message they have received recently that “blew their socks off” obviously without any names or usernames in!!!

I’m intrigued!!!

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By *rsRogersTelfordWoman
over a year ago

Telford

We get the stupid messages all the time. Barely three words, and two of those are either miss typed or using text speak.

An example of a good message? Somebody who has read our profile, can make us laugh, and can connect with us. We did at one point have a "if you have read our profile put this as your title" but it just got so confusing when people did it, and that was a big WHEN.

C x

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By *eordie1978 OP Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

"We get the stupid messages all the time. Barely three words, and two of those are either miss typed or using text speak.

C x"

Thanks and I always do read the

Profiles and try and comment on something I’ve read of seen in my initial message

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By *andys manMan
over a year ago

colchester

I always tend to put a lot of effort into a msg unless its someone that you take a chance with that has no profile picture, but even with a nice lenghty introduction, they still get deleted without so much as a no thank you. I would appreciate a no thank you as much as a interested reply, i know people say "but we get 100s of msgs a day, it would take forever to reply to all of them" this is true but if you see someone has taken the effort then surely a simple thanks but no thanks wouldn't hurt. After all its basic manners x

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By *rsRogersTelfordWoman
over a year ago

Telford

We do reply a polite no thank you type message to those who send huge messages, unless it’s blatently obvious it’s a copy paste job. I’ve had so many messages calling me somebody else’s name it’s not funny

C x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I always tend to put a lot of effort into a msg unless its someone that you take a chance with that has no profile picture, but even with a nice lenghty introduction, they still get deleted without so much as a no thank you. I would appreciate a no thank you as much as a interested reply, i know people say "but we get 100s of msgs a day, it would take forever to reply to all of them" this is true but if you see someone has taken the effort then surely a simple thanks but no thanks wouldn't hurt. After all its basic manners x"

We get where you’re coming from, we used to do this but every time we sent a nice thanks but no thanks, the sender always wanted to know why, what could they do in the future are we sure etc.

That’s when we started just deleting if not interested, if they’ve read our profile they will see that we’ve put if we don’t respond we’re not interested.

We’re not rude or unappreciative, it’s just from experience.

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By *andys manMan
over a year ago

colchester

We get where you’re coming from, we used to do this but every time we sent a nice thanks but no thanks, the sender always wanted to know why, what could they do in the future are we sure etc.

That’s when we started just deleting if not interested, if they’ve read our profile they will see that we’ve put if we don’t respond we’re not interested.

We’re not rude or unappreciative, it’s just from experience."

I never looked at it that way, i only ever msg once, if its deleted then i get the msg, if i get a no thank you then ill just reply with a thank you anyway and appreciate the reply. End of. I guess im just a model guy lol manners and etiquette go a long way. A rare trate these days

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By *rsRogersTelfordWoman
over a year ago

Telford

I totally see the above where you message no thanks, and you get another message back. It just adds to the list. The worst are the select few who you say no thanks to, and then get abuse back. Well why did you message us then? Haha!

As per unwritten rules, no reply = no thank you. C x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I totally see the above where you message no thanks, and you get another message back. It just adds to the list. The worst are the select few who you say no thanks to, and then get abuse back. Well why did you message us then? Haha!

As per unwritten rules, no reply = no thank you. C x"

Yep they’re even worse.

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By *londieddWoman
over a year ago

fife

As per unwritten rules, no reply = no thank you. C x"

They are not unwritten rules they are site rules I wish people would read the site rules instead of moaning and whining when they don't get a no thank you do you seriously want to open your inbox to 10 no thank yous, also when Domino's put a flyer through your letterbox do you email them and say thank you for your menu but I'm not looking for pizza this week? Doubt it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As per unwritten rules, no reply = no thank you. C x

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By *eordie1978 OP Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

As per unwritten rules, no reply = no thank you. C x

Haha very true!!

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By *anandLeia72Couple
over a year ago

St. Helens

Was kinda chatting to a couple the other day but was o ly getting one or two words back so I started doing the same. God it was dull. Think they realised what I was doing and they gave up.

The first couple of messages can be hard, but I try and talk to someone as I would face to face.

If you can't type a couple of sentences I'm hardly going want to jump into bed with you. No connection, no sex. Simples.

Leia

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Was kinda chatting to a couple the other day but was o ly getting one or two words back so I started doing the same. God it was dull. Think they realised what I was doing and they gave up.

The first couple of messages can be hard, but I try and talk to someone as I would face to face.

If you can't type a couple of sentences I'm hardly going want to jump into bed with you. No connection, no sex. Simples.

Leia "

Spot on

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By *ddibleMan
over a year ago

Exeter Bristol Salisbury

I always make the effort and it really does work. But it's just as annoying when you go to all the trouble of thinking up sonething to say and putting it into a message and all you get back is one line reply.

I wrote to a woman that winked at me lady week. Didn't write an epic email but kept it polite and personal to then. I got a reply- "Hi, your profile made me laugh".

Give me something to work with FFS !!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As per unwritten rules, no reply = no thank you. C x

In that case we often break the rules because we almost always reply with at least a no thank you. It's extremely rare that people choose not to respect that.

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By *_Yeah19Couple
over a year ago

Lincoln

"I always make the effort and it really does work. But it's just as annoying when you go to all the trouble of thinking up sonething to say and putting it into a message and all you get back is one line reply.

I wrote to a woman that winked at me lady week. Didn't write an epic email but kept it polite and personal to then. I got a reply- "Hi, your profile made me laugh".

Give me something to work with FFS !!"

I feel your pain buddy, it’s like pulling teeth isn’t it?

I use the three strikes and your out rule

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By *oupleforfun31Couple
over a year ago

Bradford

"One liner 'how are you','want to chat' etc messages are completely pointless and get deleted right away.

Are we doing something wrong lol, we get hardly any messages

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By *_Yeah19Couple
over a year ago

Lincoln

"One liner 'how are you','want to chat' etc messages are completely pointless and get deleted right away.

Are we doing something wrong lol, we get hardly any messages

Maybe it’s becuase you only meet women. That means you don’t come up on men/cpl that search for cpls. I turned on looking for men in our preferences as we found this and suddenly the messages came flooding in

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They are different and depends what the person/persons are messaging about,the forums are a good way of getting noticed and getting people chatting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is a message that has a 100% strike rate in replies, it’s rock solid, never fails.

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By *xx90292Man
over a year ago

London

I’m a bit of a night owl myself and get a lot of messages in the early hours of the morning . . Some hot profiles sometimes, generally those ones have a whatsapp contact number.

It’s normally a ‘hi how are you’ message. I normally reply I’m good how are you? Love the pics or Hot profile, something along those lines. They read it then nothing. I always think ‘hooker’ or ‘escort’ and I probably didn’t reply with the right reply like ‘how much’?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In a face to face encounter, that would be perfectly acceptable. Online is a tad more difficult. Those types of messages are so often sent, that they don't even stand out enough, for some to peruse a person's profile. It's true that even well thought out messages may get ignored, but I believe it also gives the sender a much better chance of having their profile looked at and possibly get a response, if the person likes the profile. There are of course exceptions to this. Some are happy with a simply written " Hi. How are you?" messages.

I sometimes write messages first and always write a thorough and (attempted) witty message, to gain their attention. It's only fair that I do that, if I expect the same

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By *eordie1978 OP Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

[Removed by poster at 23/05/18 18:30:09]

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By *eordie1978 OP Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

"In a face to face encounter, that would be perfectly acceptable. Online is a tad more difficult. Those types of messages are so often sent, that they don't even stand out enough, for some to peruse a person's profile. It's true that even well thought out messages may get ignored, but I believe it also gives the sender a much better chance of having their profile looked at and possibly get a response, if the person likes the profile. There are of course exceptions to this. Some are happy with a simply written " Hi. How are you?" messages.

I sometimes write messages first and always write a thorough and (attempted) witty message, to gain their attention. It's only fair that I do that, if I expect the same

Totally agree

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By *ouple4camsCouple
over a year ago

Dundalk(ish)

As others have said, it’s a fine start, but not a good plan to use as the entire content of a 1st message.

We just delete all the 1 liners as we’re not taking the time to reply if someone can’t be bothered to spend more than 1/2 a second composing their opening message.

Put some effort in and we’ll take the time to reply even if it’s a polite “thanks, but no thanks”

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m not partial to ‘how are you’ messages. I guess because I don’t know what to say to these messages, other than ‘fine thanks’, which tends to lead to a bit of a silly conversation. We don’t really use Fab for chatting anyway. I’m also a bit sceptical of these type of messages, because I’m aware that there are guys on Fab looking for an easy lay, who fire off hundreds of quick messages in the hope that someone will bite. So that puts me off.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think a lot of people don't like this as they find it hard to hold a conversation themselves

I find it a great conversation starter and some of our best meets have started with how's you

Much prefer this to a long message with loads of facts and likes. Bore off x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

you should start with i hope youre having a shit day but im here to make it worse

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 24/05/18 00:44:05]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't try and best the site

Make the site work for you ..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

**beat

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By *abulously curiousCouple
over a year ago

manchester

Bugs me this.. so many moan about hi messages... id be highly pissed off writing a huge msg only for it to be read with not even a thanks but how about no reply...

And don't get me started on code words.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Bugs me this.. so many moan about hi messages... id be highly pissed off writing a huge msg only for it to be read with not even a thanks but how about no reply...

And don't get me started on code words....."

just message, yes or no, me n you yes or no.

got to keep it simple

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By *abulously curiousCouple
over a year ago

manchester

I do mostly lol

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By *tarbuck007Man
over a year ago

up2no good

You could have a bellend guy writing a nice text which makes little effort when you meet them or you could have a nice guy writing a boring short text which it might turn out to be a funny guy like me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's boring when you receive 50 "hi, how are you?" A day.

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By *bsolutebeginnersCouple
over a year ago

Planet Ork

"It's boring when you receive 50 "hi, how are you?" A day."

We’ve only sent you 48 today?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's boring when you receive 50 "hi, how are you?" A day.

We’ve only sent you 48 today?

You're slacking today. Pfft, amateurs.

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By *bsolutebeginnersCouple
over a year ago

Planet Ork

"It's boring when you receive 50 "hi, how are you?" A day.

We’ve only sent you 48 today?

You're slacking today. Pfft, amateurs.

This is the 3rd time we’ve asked now, do you want pounding tonight?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Must admit I really don’t like that message.

Why would I want to tell you how I am, and would you care if I did?

I invariably reply ‘Good thanks’ regardless of how tired, ill, fed up or fantastic I’m feeling. There’s just no point.

I’ve had some wonderfully witty messages from some great men, I highly recommend this approach

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

That's an ok opener if, like me, the recipient looks at the profile first to see that the person floats their boat!!

It really should be quite simple.

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