FabSwingers.com forum: I have mental health issues

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Literally do not know where to turn. I’m not going to do anything drastic but I can’t go home on my

Own and end up in mad situations.

I need some help and I know this is so strange but at least everyone here is open minded.

I have a 500k house that I’m trying to sell to get back to my normal life up north.

I’ve tirned into a self loathing dickhead. Lost the love of my Life and trying to pretend life is on track.

I’ve not slept on a Friday night for 6 weeks.. I basically a twat.

Fuckinell so sorry guys but I need to rant

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe phone the NHS phone line.

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By *he devil wears pradaWoman
over a year ago

gosport ish

There are a lot of MH services out there op, more often you’ll need to speak to your own doctor for referral in the first case. Good luck

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I don’t have a doctor.. I live in south London and don’t know fuckin anyone. I don’t even know where to start. Maybe this is the start. So sorry for the drama

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By *acktar74Man
over a year ago

leeds

Try these guys.

CALM. If you're a man experiencing distressing thoughts and feelings, the Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM) is there to support you. They're open from 5pm–midnight, 365 days a year. Their national number is 0800 58 58 58, and they also have a webchat service if you're not comfortable talking on the phone.

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By *ercuryMan
over a year ago

Grantham

Just hold onto the things that are nearest and dearest to you. Forget about material things, simplify your life, try and lose any negativity and embrace positivity.

Sometimes the simplest of things are the best.... A walk in the park in the sunshine, an hour alone having a coffee, fish and chips by the seaside.....good luck .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is there someone you could talk to ? Like a friend or a family member?

Or you could try to get an urgent appointment at a therapist.

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By *he devil wears pradaWoman
over a year ago

gosport ish

"I don’t have a doctor.. I live in south London and don’t know fuckin anyone. I don’t even know where to start. Maybe this is the start. So sorry for the drama"
find a local doctor surgery and ask to join op, you’ll just need ID and then make the first apt

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Phone NHS direct on 111 and they will be able to advise you. If you feel you need to speak to someone else, the Samaritans are at the end of the phone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Try these guys.

Yes that seems to be the best option

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good advice given on here

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I’m from Liverpool and I’m down here alone. My gf left 6 months ago and I’m all over the place. I come on here for an escape but my head has truly gone. I am in my house alone and fucking hate it. I’m sorry guys. I need to snap out of this.

I trried that phone number but it’s not open.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The Samaritans will be open. Their number is 116123

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m from Liverpool and I’m down here alone. My gf left 6 months ago and I’m all over the place. I come on here for an escape but my head has truly gone. I am in my house alone and fucking hate it. I’m sorry guys. I need to snap out of this.

I trried that phone number but it’s not open."

Don't be sorry dude, talk as much as you want.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I trried that phone number but it’s not open."

You also don’t need to “snap out of it”, sometimes people need a little help in order to feel better

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"The Samaritans will be open. Their number is 116123"

This completely

They're their 24/7 and will listen for as long as you need them to and can provide details of organisations that can help you.

Mental health is NOT something to be ashamed of or hide away - it's an illness like any other and CAN be treated - by asking for it you've taken a big step on the path to getting the help you need OP - next step is to seek it from professionals that can set you back on the right track.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Literally do not know where to turn. I’m not going to do anything drastic but I can’t go home on my

Own and end up in mad situations.

I need some help and I know this is so strange but at least everyone here is open minded.

I have a 500k house that I’m trying to sell to get back to my normal life up north.

I’ve tirned into a self loathing dickhead. Lost the love of my Life and trying to pretend life is on track.

I’ve not slept on a Friday night for 6 weeks.. I basically a twat.

Fuckinell so sorry guys but I need to rant"

Thats quite a achievement to be able to buy a £500k house at 37 so you must have done something right. A good job i assume. So that's a positive. I moved to an island some years ago. Not settled. Im a northern lady. Have very few friends here. Have a daughter but shes always busy. Marriage broke up. So i basically exist day by day until. I can afford to lewve. Surround yourself with things to do. Gym. Walking. Get all that pent up aggression out. Makes you feel so much more relaxed will help you sleep. Basically dnt sit on your own try to find anything to do so. You arent. Good luck

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thank you.. I’m sorry for this. I’m probably now the most avoided person on FS... Jesus. Good to know there is advice there. I truly thank anyone who replied to me. I was having a mad mad moment

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Literally do not know where to turn. I’m not going to do anything drastic but I can’t go home on my

Own and end up in mad situations.

I need some help and I know this is so strange but at least everyone here is open minded.

I have a 500k house that I’m trying to sell to get back to my normal life up north.

I’ve tirned into a self loathing dickhead. Lost the love of my Life and trying to pretend life is on track.

I’ve not slept on a Friday night for 6 weeks.. I basically a twat.

Fuckinell so sorry guys but I need to rant

Day to day is exactly how I’m living. I’ve put 2 stone on in 18 months as I’ve stopped boxing. I can’t even get up before 8 am.. I come home and just fall asleep on the sofa.. wake up at 2-3am then go to bed.

My Flat is up for sale now and I’m wanting to move home by family if I get a good offer. I’m done with London.. it’s broke me haha

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"Thank you.. I’m sorry for this. I’m probably now the most avoided person on FS... Jesus. Good to know there is advice there. I truly thank anyone who replied to me. I was having a mad mad moment"

No apology necessary OP - we all have dark times and whilst this site is mostly about NSA fun and superficial attachments it doesn't mean people don't care or are unfeeling when someone genuinely asks for help and advice.

Anyone that avoids you for doing so isn't worth knowing anyway.

Try and focus on the positives and look for help from the sources people have mentioned here - good luck

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By *irsttimecouple2018Couple
over a year ago

South Ayrshire

As everyone has advised, try the helplines.

Find out if any near doctors surgeries are open today, register and get an appt ASAP.

Talking helps! Even on the forum!

You can also call MIND or look them up

mind.org.uk

Been there got loads of t-shirts!

The black dog is horrible!

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By *igertigerCouple (MM)
over a year ago

Dublin

Maybe rent out the flat if you can't find a buyer or reduce the asking price a little to move a sale along. Is your job going well? Hope so.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We’re behind you OP ring the NHS & get some help fella

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The Samaritans are fantastic. Also you can often self refer to some mental health services. Here in Dorset we have steps to well being who you can refer yourself to.

It’s really important to get help as early as possible. The mind website is really good too and they have information on services that can help you.

I wish you the best of luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The Samaritans will be open. Their number is 116123

This completely

They're their 24/7 and will listen for as long as you need them to and can provide details of organisations that can help you.

Where did he say he was ashamed?

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By *ntcovMan
over a year ago

Church Gresley / Swadlincote

Hi. I've worked supporting people suffering with their mental health for many years. You are getting a lot of good advice on here, all of it valid. Yes, enlist with a GP or go to a walk in centre, meanwhile if you feel unsafe ordesparate go to the nearest A&E department at a hospital, they will help and it is a place of safety. Give yourself some small goals today, even if they feel trivial, such as walking to the shop to buy milk, you will gain a sense of achievement by doing these things which will start to improve your mood slowly. It sounds cliché when they say go for a walk or take some exercise but getting moving really does help in many ways. You could look up Rethink Mental Illness online, they have many factsheets and self help recourses online as well as other numbers to call.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

The Samaritans, as others point out, who will talk as much with you as you need. Also review which people you know anywhere that would support and help ground you.

Take some exercise too and keep life simple for a while.

See if your employer offers any support too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The Samaritans will be open. Their number is 116123

This completely

They're their 24/7 and will listen for as long as you need them to and can provide details of organisations that can help you.

Where did he say he was ashamed? "

He didn’t. The poster is pointing out it’s nothing to be ashamed of. The OP is apologising with no need

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hey OP. How did you get on with those phone numbers? Everyone is willing you on pal and sending positive vibes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just like to echo everyone’s comments on here OP.

You have nothing to apologise for, and if ranting on here helps then rant away!

Mental health is just as important as physical health, and one of the biggest problems with society today is the whole “man up” attitude that basically implies that it’s weak in some way.

By admitting on here that you’re struggling is a sign of strength and not weakness, and is the first step to getting yourself back on track.

I’d also like to add that I wish you luck OP and that there’s always someone here on the forums to chat to and give advice.

Hope you feel better soon

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By *empsey and hotpieceMan
over a year ago

North west

Op, I can’t give you any advice other than what’s already been said, and I must say it warms the heart to see there’s so many caring people on here.

I can however tell you that the feelings and way you perceive yourself sound familiar to me.

Been there myself.

I think you’ve taken a long look at yourself and don’t like what you see, and that’s a big positive, now you accept there’s something that needs fixing, you can work on fixing it.

I was single for a long time and convinced myself I was happy having random sex and trying to surround myself with possessions I thought would impress people and make me happy. Truth is I was just selfish and didn’t like myself much and was far too concerned about what people thought of me.

I slowly learned not to care about what other people think of me, and learned to appreciate that I was lucky to be healthy and able to live comfortably, basically I learned to like me and after that , life flowed a lot easier.

Be a good person, help others, and take baby steps.

I sincerely hope you can start to get back on track, there’s always a positive side to everything and I’m sure this dark patch you’re experiencing will be something you’ll look back on in the future and see it was something that turned you into a content person.

Good luck mate

Dan

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well done everyone... was rather proud reading this... fab as much as it can be a pain has some pretty amazing ppl on here...

Op hope you get the help needed... stop saying sorry and hope the same of the house is quick so you can get back home with your family

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Please please phone the NHS and find some help.

I can't begin to understand how you feel or everything you are going through but I can tell you there are people and services out there that will help you.

A few years ago now whilst at work I was checking our yard for vandalism and damage but instead of finding any of that I discovered the body of someone who simply felt he could not take anymore and had decided to end his life.

O will always remember that moment and wish I had found him sooner so I could have helped. I know this is also true for his family as I saw so much love and sadness because of his decision.

I am not saying your there yet but get the help you need now before it all feels like it's totally imposible.

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By *orkie321bWoman
over a year ago

Nottingham

OP thank you for reaching out. The first step to recovery is admitting to yourself you are struggling.

Many people think fab isn't the best place to reach out and ask for help but I've seen many people do the same and the responses they get are always helpful and supportive. There are lots of us who have had (or continue to have) mental health issues so we do understand your struggle and will try to help if we can.

If you are in crisis get some immediate help right now, don't wait. The samaritans are open 24hrs so you can call them any time. You can also go to the nearest a + e dept and ask for help, they are not just there for physical injuries.

Find a local GP surgery and register with them to access the support they can give you. If they are full and not taking on new patients at the moment they will give you a list of other local surgeries who may be able to register you.

In the long term moving back up north will help you massively as you will have the support of your family. Consider reducing the asking price for your home to sell it quicker - money isn't everything. Alternatively find a letting agent who can rent it out for you.

Well done for taking the first step OP. You are stronger than you think and you've got this. Keep talking, either to us or others.

(((Hugs)))

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One thing I'd like you to take away from this is that you've opened up and talked about it.

So many men just 'man up' and bottle up inside. But you've done something more braver than that and you've shared your feelings with other and that my friend takes courage

Search on Facebook for Andy's Man Club. It's a charity based in Halifax (but they are rapidly branching out) and it's basically a mental health awareness group for men by men. It's their aim to break down the taboo walls of men not talking about mental illness. I promise you they are brilliant and so understanding. I just hope they have a club near you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fair play for having the courage to speak out.

I had a friend who hung himself in my house a couple of years ago. No idea why. He didn't feel he could talk about his struggle.

I was actually very surprised by some of the answers and the flood of compassion.

Faith restored in human nature.

If you ever wanna have a chat with someone who's been through and still going through some pretty rough times, my inbox is open buddy. I'm no expert but we can have a chat about anything even if it just takes your mind off things for a while.

Bad things happen to good people.

It's ok to not be ok.

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By *mokes n MirrorsCouple
over a year ago

Plymouth and Newcastle (sometimes)

In spite of all the usual threads where people rip the piss, get angry and shouty or generally belittle other fabbers, I'm always internally happy when compassion and love burst forth and strangers help strangers through their troubles. I know that the screens we're looking at aren't the same as a physical shoulder to cry or lean on but sometimes a few words on a screen can be all that is needed to give a different perspective. Good luck OP, I'm sure you'll get through this. You've taken the first step already, and every journey begins with that first step. And to my fellow Fabbers out there, I think it shows that we're not all a selfish bunch of cunts...Spread the love and be nice...In the immortal words of Scooter "It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The honest answer mate is to accept everything in ur head

It's a big evil paradox but it's ur fear that feeds the turmoil that ur minds in

U need a chat let me know pal

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd like to offer some tangential advice that hasn't been mentioned but may help. Being socially isolated is a real trial.

Sign up for a bunch of evening classes. Download the meetup app. Go to local cafes. Join a local gym. Get out. Join clubs. Talk to people. Pick yourself up. Dust yourself off. And try to make a friend. Even one local real life friend can make a huge difference. Don't wait until Liverpool. Start doing it now. Friendship is a wonder drug. Good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sounds like depression can happen to the best of us first port of call is to get a good or go to your local walk in centre you need help. Samaritans or try MIND are a great organisation. CBT therapies, talking therapies or anti depressants are the way forward. It is easy to shut your self away but you have made the first step on reaching out x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Literally do not know where to turn. I’m not going to do anything drastic but I can’t go home on my

Own and end up in mad situations.

I need some help and I know this is so strange but at least everyone here is open minded.

I have a 500k house that I’m trying to sell to get back to my normal life up north.

I’ve tirned into a self loathing dickhead. Lost the love of my Life and trying to pretend life is on track.

I’ve not slept on a Friday night for 6 weeks.. I basically a twat.

Fuckinell so sorry guys but I need to rant

My Flat is up for sale now and I’m wanting to move home by family if I get a good offer. I’m done with London.. it’s broke me haha"

This sounds like classic depression. Zero motivation, sleeping too much or not enough, feeling hopeless... Please remember these words - this will not last forever. I promise you that. GPs will normally take on patients temporarily if you explain your situation. Take whatever help is available & you will get through this. Be kind to yourself & be open with your nearest & dearest, they can’t help you or try to understand if you don’t tell them what’s wrong. Samaritans are great, but if you feel you can’t keep yourself safe either get to A&E or call 999.

Take care

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd like to offer some tangential advice that hasn't been mentioned but may help. Being socially isolated is a real trial.

This. Getting out and socialising does wonders.

Great advice.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I’m back.. I just want to say how overwhelmed I am by all of the advice and support.

My friend had driven down from Liverpool and we are going for dinner. I feel relaxed for the first time in months by just having a friend around.

I’m going to go the walk in centre in Beckenham on Monday morning and see if I can arrange someone to talk to regularly.

I litteraly put myself last and think I don’t deserve anything. I’ve gone from a life having everything and thinking possessions are everything to realising it means nothing.

I’m adjusting to being on my own and I’m actually good company for myself. But having no friends or family around has taken its toll.

I’ll be planning my move back home next week and start the steps of being me as I know I’m a good guy.. I just need to accept that fact.

Thank you all so much I truly mean it.

Much love

James x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m back.. I just want to say how overwhelmed I am by all of the advice and support.

My friend had driven down from Liverpool and we are going for dinner. I feel relaxed for the first time in months by just having a friend around.

I’m going to go the walk in centre in Beckenham on Monday morning and see if I can arrange someone to talk to regularly.

I litteraly put myself last and think I don’t deserve anything. I’ve gone from a life having everything and thinking possessions are everything to realising it means nothing.

I’m adjusting to being on my own and I’m actually good company for myself. But having no friends or family around has taken its toll.

I’ll be planning my move back home next week and start the steps of being me as I know I’m a good guy.. I just need to accept that fact.

Thank you all so much I truly mean it.

Much love

James x"

So pleased to hear you're feeling better.

I've lost everything through a relationship break up. She even took custody of the mutual friends.

I have to be honest this site has been a blessing (and a curse

) at times as I've met some really nice people.

I've done things I never thought I'd do and I've started to live again.

It's small steps and they seem nothing to other people but one barrier or obstacle at a time.

Keep smiling chap.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Glad you're feeling better.

I was advised to go to my local a&e, in an emergency, and ask to see someone from the mental health team.

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By *orkie321bWoman
over a year ago

Nottingham

"I’m back.. I just want to say how overwhelmed I am by all of the advice and support.

My friend had driven down from Liverpool and we are going for dinner. I feel relaxed for the first time in months by just having a friend around.

I’m going to go the walk in centre in Beckenham on Monday morning and see if I can arrange someone to talk to regularly.

I litteraly put myself last and think I don’t deserve anything. I’ve gone from a life having everything and thinking possessions are everything to realising it means nothing.

I’m adjusting to being on my own and I’m actually good company for myself. But having no friends or family around has taken its toll.

I’ll be planning my move back home next week and start the steps of being me as I know I’m a good guy.. I just need to accept that fact.

Thank you all so much I truly mean it.

Much love

James x"

Good to see you back OP and you do sound a little more positive today.

Now you've opened up to us it will be easier to do the same with your friend. Share your struggles and they are often easier to bear.

I hope you have a lovely evening xxx

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Make a list of 10 things you like or are good about you and your present situation. Often getting things down on paper and out of your head can put things in perspective, even if you write stuff like ‘drinking coffee’

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Sending you some love hope all goes well for you xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pleased you're feeling a little brighter OP, but I feel you do need to talk to someone professional.

A lot of people do suffer wth mental health issues, there is no shame in it.

You need to just go easy on yourself, on bad days just focus on an hour at a time, to get through it.

This is just a phase in your life that you will get through, with help from others.

I truly wish you good luck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Pleased you're feeling a little brighter OP, but I feel you do need to talk to someone professional.

A lot of people do suffer wth mental health issues, there is no shame in it.

You need to just go easy on yourself, on bad days just focus on an hour at a time, to get through it.

This is just a phase in your life that you will get through, with help from others.

I truly wish you good luck."

I echo that

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By *mooth Operator 07Man
over a year ago

in the deep mist of the valleys

I'm so overwhelmed by looking at everybody comments and giving so much love. OP I hope your life situation changes for you for the better. If there anything you can positively gained from this, the people on this site have shown you love and support I doubt you know these people. But they care and support you. Mental health is no joke and nothing to be ashamed of. I'm proud of you for speaking up and proud of all the site members who have supported you. I wish you good health and positivety for the future.

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"I'm so overwhelmed by looking at everybody comments and giving so much love. OP I hope your life situation changes for you for the better. If there anything you can positively gained from this, the people on this site have shown you love and support I doubt you know these people. But they care and support you. Mental health is no joke and nothing to be ashamed of. I'm proud of you for speaking up and proud of all the site members who have supported you. I wish you good health and positivety for the future. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ok I have had mental health issues

Depression and anxiety and anger issues

The medication 9 months of it

Changed me!!

I was angry full of testosterone

Now I’m not, I don’t get angry much

But it really turned me into the tv I am today.

So that’s how I became LadyQ

However don’t be dismissive, as I couldn’t be happier!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Phone NHS direct on 111 and they will be able to advise you. If you feel you need to speak to someone else, the Samaritans are at the end of the phone. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would recommend the Samaritans. They're amazing. And if dont want to chat on the phone you can now email them. They're so helpful.

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By *ill74Man
over a year ago

New forest area

"I’m back.. I just want to say how overwhelmed I am by all of the advice and support.

My friend had driven down from Liverpool and we are going for dinner. I feel relaxed for the first time in months by just having a friend around.

I’m going to go the walk in centre in Beckenham on Monday morning and see if I can arrange someone to talk to regularly.

I litteraly put myself last and think I don’t deserve anything. I’ve gone from a life having everything and thinking possessions are everything to realising it means nothing.

I’m adjusting to being on my own and I’m actually good company for myself. But having no friends or family around has taken its toll.

I’ll be planning my move back home next week and start the steps of being me as I know I’m a good guy.. I just need to accept that fact.

Thank you all so much I truly mean it.

Much love

James x"

Now that is a real friend. Full credit to that person. You do sound a lot more positive, as others have said. People do genuinely care about others, even those we don't know.

Maybe you should make a list of things you like. (I did when I was stuck, and felt like I wasn't going anywhere and my friends were moving away etc) Write down what you enjoy, small things, like hoovering, making dinner from scratch, hearing live music, reading a book, etc. Then make a point of doing those things. Things that you know will make you feel better about yourself.

Opening up, was a massive step. That takes courage, and strength. I am proud of you. Fair play.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I trried that phone number but it’s not open."

Not surprised you're miserable. The south is no place for a Scouser. (Plastic Scouse here) hope you find some help and feel better soon. FB xx

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Have been busy most of the day OP, so have only just had a chance to check on this thread, and I'm so pleased to hear things are starting to look positive, even if it is just small steps for now.

Your friend driving down from Liverpool is not only a wonderful thing to do, but must send a powerful message to you about how much you mean to people that know you.

Never be afraid to ask for help OP, there are plenty of good people about to lend an ear and support.

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By *abulously curiousCouple
over a year ago

manchester

Mind.org x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m back.. I just want to say how overwhelmed I am by all of the advice and support.

My friend had driven down from Liverpool and we are going for dinner. I feel relaxed for the first time in months by just having a friend around.

I’m going to go the walk in centre in Beckenham on Monday morning and see if I can arrange someone to talk to regularly.

I litteraly put myself last and think I don’t deserve anything. I’ve gone from a life having everything and thinking possessions are everything to realising it means nothing.

I’m adjusting to being on my own and I’m actually good company for myself. But having no friends or family around has taken its toll.

I’ll be planning my move back home next week and start the steps of being me as I know I’m a good guy.. I just need to accept that fact.

Thank you all so much I truly mean it.

Much love

James x"

Absolute pleasure James. Take care snd stay safe. We would love to know how it all goes. Brst of luck my sweet xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

phone samaritans maybe

its good to talk

they can advise and help

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By *andare63Man
over a year ago

oldham

It sounds to me like you’ve got everything but feel you have nothing . Nobody walks your shoes but count your blessings . You are not homeless , I’m guessing there’s food on your table and you have a job ? Sometimes fella when you think you are having a bad day there’s always tomorrow . Some don’t even have that !

The numbers and the Samaritans are a good call but no amount of advice will alter your life . You will do that . Good luck

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By *agermeisterMan
over a year ago

Leeds

If it gets unbearable get in your car or in a taxi and go straight to A&E. There are people there who will look after you without judgement. You will get the help you need.

This option saved my life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Get it out mate. Talk, talk, talk. As others have said the Samaritans offer a great service.

There is a group up north called Andy's man cave - hopefully something similar near you?

I ran a men's group for over 50's years ago amazing how the chatted and supported each other.

Best of luck. And please talk to someone.

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