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Feeling guilty when kids babysat for

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By *ruit OP   Woman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

When my kids are with their dad I tend to go out on average once a month to go to a club and be very naughty.

What I find hard is if my parents sit for the kids and I go out to a club or for a meet I struggle to feel naughty as in my eyes I am not without the ties of kids for the night as still head home to them at my parents at the end of the eve.

If they are away with their dad(we are divorced)then I feel totoally single with no ties for the weekend but if they are with mum then I feel tied.

Does anyone else feel like this or is it just me still feeling the responsibilty?

Should I chill out? Help please x

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By *kexplorersCouple
over a year ago

Bedfordshire

Everyone deserves a private life and we do not think you should feel guilty if the kids spend time with their grandparents.

Anyone who is a parent on here and has a sitter will always make sure they give a call to make sure the kids are ok, if they are then relax and feel free to enjoy.

Being a single parent can be stressful enough so embrace all the help you can get. xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Think it shows u have a concientious and that your a good parent, it also maybe subliminal because ur not bothered about what ur ex thinks of you but you still want your mums n kids love and respect?? That's hypothetical tho!! If you want peoples real opinions then mine is you responsibly made sure ur kids are in safe hands so get out there and do what u want, cause u spend a long time in a 6' wooden box in the ground!! Hope this helps x

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By *LBishCouple
over a year ago

near bury st edmunds

I feel guilty when my son babysits, Been waiting years till he gets to the age to be able to babysit. Now he is 17 and my daughter is 15, they can now babysit my younges who is 9. I sometimes feel bad when i ask him to stay home to be there with them, as at 17 its the time to party. But as i have tryed to explaine to him, i have never had help with family being too far away. So as a single partent, spent most of the time while they been growing up, not having much of a social life. I try explaine to them i aproximatly half way through my life, and i need to have some me time back, its not me being selfish, we now need to devide weekends out for a bit. My mum was a single parent and she worked evenings, i used to babysit 4 times a week. There has to be a point where after giving most of your years to your kids, where you have to recalaim some time back for yourself. Enjoy your time hunny, im sure your kids and mother enjoy their time together. x

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By *ruit OP   Woman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

I am lucky as my parents know I swing and very happy that my ex doesnt as he already has a still slightly uncomfortable interest in my life still.

I guess I know I need to chill out about it but find i still feel responsible when they are with mum. When i do go out I tell mum where I am going and she always asks if I had a good time etc.

I do need to relax about it all tho

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What a mum!! Mine would spit her tea out lol!!

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By *kexplorersCouple
over a year ago

Bedfordshire

Hey if you mother knows and you have her full backing then enjoy. As you said she knows where you are going and you clearly have a great relationship.

As long as the kids get to spend quality time with you then there is no reason to feel guilty.

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham

You are a better mum for having time to yourself,always remember that.

It seems to me you are having trouble transitioning from "single" to "mum" mode.Understandable,when i am in slut mode i have to forget about the homework or ironing that needs doing.

Perhaps on a practical level you could shower and change into practical clothes at the club, deliberately bringing an end to the evening before you head home.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Very and as they get older it gets harder Rosie nearly 14 refuses to go nannies and will only have babysitter I have a really good one that's why I go to clubs can be as naughty as I like it is my one big destress for the month enjoy honey. Ps they not young for long. Another few years I will be free does that sound bad.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I understand the feelings ,you just need to switch off mum mode when you drop them off. I do it easily now.you deserve to feel completely free and naughty when you have left them with responsible adults you trust!!,x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So many yummy mummies mmmm lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't go out a lot but I have always said to my kids, parents need playtime too.

I allowed them to go out to play with friends as kids and they always told me to have fun when I said I was going 'out to play' with my friends.

You have to let go a little, your mum must enjoy her time with your kids or she wouldn't be there. I know as a grandmother myself the joy when my daughter asks me to look after my grandson. She could go away for a week and I'd gladly have him. (she doesn't though)

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I was the same when my son was younger, when he was at his dads he was "away from home" and i felt i could do anything.

I rarely went out when he was at home even if he went to my mums. But i never left him with a babysitter all but a couple of times in his life. I had this thing in my head that he was my child and my responsibility when he was on home territory

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By *ruit OP   Woman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

The word responsibility is massive in my book. Am now dancing once a week and mum has the kids for me. I do switch off when out enjoying myself but still in the back of my mind tho.

Need to remind myself more that I do need a life too from all stresses and strains lol

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By *itts1977Woman
over a year ago

somewhere

I know how that feels Hun I'm the same it feels like I can't relax as I'm clock watching to be home!!

But when he has them I really let my hair down x

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By *etillanteWoman
over a year ago

.

Slightly different, but my Mum, was a singer and used to go out singing three nights a week and I either had baby sitters or went to my grandparents.

I never felt any less loved and I'm sure your children feel the same.

You enjoy yourself, life is too short.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i have my kids 24/7 an my youngest are 7 twins lol , my 2nd oldest is studying at mo so never goes out or has his mates in but im home most wkend altho some times it works out im away maybe 3 saturdays in a row ,

i did feel guilty i wasnt spendin enough time with my 2 youngest but they seem to have a good as social life as i do now lol , so dont feel so bad lol

and remember we all need time away to recharge , even if its only that couple of hrs away , take them make the most of them as your only here once ,

id be a lair if i said i didnt need adult company and time out to recharge from the kids , just as they need that break from me ....

i dont have my parents any more so all time now is precious even with the kids, but so is yours for yourself , take it and dont let guilt eat you up , for what its worth

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a grandmother I am more than happy to baby sit for my kids so that they can go out. I have 5 of them staying with me on Saturday night and am really looking forward to spending time with them. I too was a single parent and my parents where great in giving me a break. Whatever you are doing when you go out, you deserve some "me time", even better when you know that your children are being cared for by family who really care for them. Have fun sweetie

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By *ruit OP   Woman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

Thanks everyone. I will try to feel less guilty and am very aware life is too short. Your a long time dead lol

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