FabSwingers.com forum: Is race preference racism???

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Just wondered what you think when you see a profile that states they do not meet people of a certain skin colour and then call it preference???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If a guy doesn’t want to meet another guy is that homophobic?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sexual thrills are predominantly in the head.

If something is a turn on or a turn off, then that's that, simply.

Nobody should be expected to have sex with someone they have no attraction to.

Nobody should be expected to do what doesn't interest them.

So, No, it doesn't necessarily mean there's racial issues.

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By *eordiesCouple
over a year ago

newcastle

And heightist ?

And ageist ?

And hairy / smoothist ?

And cock sizeist ?

Too many people in this world trying to make ordinary stuff into "offenceists"

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By *orticiaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

"And heightist ?

And ageist ?

And hairy / smoothist ?

And cock sizeist ?

Too many people in this world trying to make ordinary stuff into "offenceists""

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By *D835Man
over a year ago

London

"And heightist ?

And ageist ?

And hairy / smoothist ?

And cock sizeist ?

Too many people in this world trying to make ordinary stuff into "offenceists""

Haha nice response.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Are you homophobic from r not wanting to meet one particular gender OP? Or is it just your preference?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Not really in my opinion.

It's racist to bar people from a job due to their race but sex isn't an equal opportunities pastime.

Undoubtedly some people will have racist reasons behind their preferences but for many its a positive choice in favour of a certain race in order to fulfil fantasies.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just wondered what you think when you see a profile that states they do not meet people of a certain skin colour and then call it preference???"

Probably, but who cares. We aren't quite down the road to where you are forced to fuck blacks to prove you aren't racist.

Plenty love shagging ethnically diverse people. I myself adore black,mixed,Asian and East Asian women. Anna dislikes blacks who describe themselves as bbc, even when their dicks tint. She loves blacks who are more than just a racist stereotype.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Preference / personal choice.

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By *llie_worcMan
over a year ago

bristol

Well yes it is as you are discriminating purely on grounds of race but you can hardly be held accountable for personal preferences on who you fuck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"And heightist ?

And ageist ?

And hairy / smoothist ?

And cock sizeist ?

Too many people in this world trying to make ordinary stuff into "offenceists""

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By *issy louWoman
over a year ago

Staffordshire Moorlands

If I say I don’t like Asians as a race then that is racism.

If I don’t find Asian guys sexually attractive so don’t want to sleep with them that is preference!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't personally think homosexuality can be compared with racial sexual preferences.

In my opinion, homosexuality arises from nature and nurture, yet racial sexual preference is definitely something that arises from social environment.

Not wanting to have sex with someone you aren't attracted to isn't racist. But claiming that you are solely not attracted to every humans being who are either black or asian, is ambiguous.

Having said that, it doesn't mean that the person will praise hitler either but will be more likely to agree with people who holds misconceptions about the racial type they aren't sexual attracted to. Because this racial sexual preference has to have some roots somewhere.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If I say I don’t like Asians as a race then that is racism.

If I don’t find Asian guys sexually attractive so don’t want to sleep with them that is preference!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't personally think homosexuality can be compared with racial sexual preferences.

In my opinion, homosexuality arises from nature and nurture, yet racial sexual preference is definitely something that arises from social environment.

Not wanting to have sex with someone you aren't attracted to isn't racist. But claiming that you are solely not attracted to every humans being who are either black or asian, is ambiguous.

Ah, of course. These people just need the Guardian to explain why they should embrace mudsharking

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't personally think homosexuality can be compared with racial sexual preferences.

In my opinion, homosexuality arises from nature and nurture, yet racial sexual preference is definitely something that arises from social environment.

Not wanting to have sex with someone you aren't attracted to isn't racist. But claiming that you are solely not attracted to every humans being who are either black or asian, is ambiguous.

Ah, of course. These people just need the Guardian to explain why they should embrace mudsharking"

Oh I didn't they should embrace anything... Just stating a simple fact. If that fact triggers you... Well ask yourself some question

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't personally think homosexuality can be compared with racial sexual preferences.

In my opinion, homosexuality arises from nature and nurture, yet racial sexual preference is definitely something that arises from social environment.

Not wanting to have sex with someone you aren't attracted to isn't racist. But claiming that you are solely not attracted to every humans being who are either black or asian, is ambiguous.

Ah, of course. These people just need the Guardian to explain why they should embrace mudsharking

Oh I didn't they should embrace anything... Just stating a simple fact. If that fact triggers you... Well ask yourself some question"

Too busy being racist

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If a guy doesn’t want to meet another guy is that homophobic?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't personally think homosexuality can be compared with racial sexual preferences.

In my opinion, homosexuality arises from nature and nurture, yet racial sexual preference is definitely something that arises from social environment.

Not wanting to have sex with someone you aren't attracted to isn't racist. But claiming that you are solely not attracted to every humans being who are either black or asian, is ambiguous.

Ah, of course. These people just need the Guardian to explain why they should embrace mudsharking

Oh I didn't they should embrace anything... Just stating a simple fact. If that fact triggers you... Well ask yourself some question

Too busy being racist"

You demonstrated that very well on other threads

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just wondered what you think when you see a profile that states they do not meet people of a certain skin colour and then call it preference???"

Thats exactly what it is..

Why oh why people (usually those the profile holder doesnt want to meet) have to question and make a big thing of it is beyond me..

Just move on to those who will

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just wondered what you think when you see a profile that states they do not meet people of a certain skin colour and then call it preference???"

nope

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

ooooooh

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By *hetalkingstoveMan
over a year ago

London

"If a guy doesn’t want to meet another guy is that homophobic? "

This is a bit silly. Hetero/homsoexuality are recognised and studied orientations. There's no such thing as "caucasianosexual".

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By *elvet Teddy18Woman
over a year ago

Middlesbrough

"And heightist ?

And ageist ?

And hairy / smoothist ?

And cock sizeist ?

Too many people in this world trying to make ordinary stuff into "offenceists"

Haha nice response.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Having a sexual preference for something is not prejudice - you aren’t discriminating against someone simply for not being sexually attracted to them. To imply otherwise suggests that people should be entitled to sex with anyone as a human right - in the same way people of all ethnicities expect to have equal access to institutions and public spaces.

But no one is entitled to sex with whomever they like at all. People are not public spaces or services that people must be able to access equally.

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By *llie_worcMan
over a year ago

bristol

"If a guy doesn’t want to meet another guy is that homophobic?"

I thought an 'ism' was a prejudice and a phobia a dislike?

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By *iscean MaleMan
over a year ago

Darlaston

"Just wondered what you think when you see a profile that states they do not meet people of a certain skin colour and then call it preference???"

These forums always opens a can of worms.

What do I think when I see profiles who chose not to meet a certain race etc... i move onto the next. Life is too short.

Preference, choice, fantasy which ever reason is their own.

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By *ldhillhotwifeCouple
over a year ago

Old Hill

"Just wondered what you think when you see a profile that states they do not meet people of a certain skin colour and then call it preference???"

Hubby likes blonde girls and I like black guys. It's a preference.

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By *loswingersCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

I actually think it is racist , BUT , I don’t think anyone should feel compelled to shag anyone they don’t fancy .

The question is why don’t some people fancy those of a different ethnic origin or colour ?

The answer is , and this is the crux of it , because they are racist .

Simple , end of the thread , no need to thank me for clearing that one up for you all

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By *G CoupleCouple
over a year ago

kent

What is preference?

We prefer black guys over white guys but wouldn’t rule out white guys completely.

Would that be the same as only wanting black guys?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I prefer to meet certain ladies of a certain type and age that just makes me choosy there's no racist overtones or underlying phobias

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

White guys only for me!

I'm happy to express that on my profile!

Freedom of choice!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's like some women who are tall prefer taller gentleman does that make them biased towards dwarfs ,answer no

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There used to be a well hot black man working in my bank, I would most definitely have sex with him as I found him very attractive. My eyes did not see black, they saw a well fit, very pleasant man.

It's all about attraction.

XXX

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"Just wondered what you think when you see a profile that states they do not meet people of a certain skin colour and then call it preference???"

It’s their choice who they have sex with and can give any reason they want for not wanting sex with anyone. Their body, their rules.

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By *os19Man
over a year ago

Edmonton

As far as I am concerned it's about preference not racism.Although after putting up some pictures on Wednesday I received a message asking if I was Greek I said yes a second message saying I hate Greeks I replied there is good and bad in all nationalities then no more messages Not sure what point the lady was trying to prove.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"As far as I am concerned it's about preference not racism.Although after putting up some pictures on Wednesday I received a message asking if I was Greek I said yes a second message saying I hate Greeks I replied there is good and bad in all nationalities then no more messages Not sure what point the lady was trying to prove."
she proved she was an idiot

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

And definitely agree that no one shouldn't play with anyone they aren't attracted to. "

in which case..... aren't people just basically overthinking the entire topic!

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By *radleywigginsMan
over a year ago

northwest

I think it smacks of a lack of imagination.

There’s no problem with having a preference, but there is a problem with deciding to exclude all but that preference..

I would hope that most people are in real life open minded enough to feel that there’s something they could find attractive about pretty much anybody. You may surprise yourself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And definitely agree that no one shouldn't play with anyone they aren't attracted to.

in which case..... aren't people just basically overthinking the entire topic!

Haha agree some might.

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By *os19Man
over a year ago

Edmonton

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By *loswingersCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

"I think it smacks of a lack of imagination.

There’s no problem with having a preference, but there is a problem with deciding to exclude all but that preference..

I would hope that most people are in real life open minded enough to feel that there’s something they could find attractive about pretty much anybody. You may surprise yourself. "

You may hope that , but in reality it’s simply not the case .

There are loads of profiles on here stating whites only , no Asians , no blacks etc..... but don’t worry , it’s not a racist thing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think it smacks of a lack of imagination.

There’s no problem with having a preference, but there is a problem with deciding to exclude all but that preference..

I would hope that most people are in real life open minded enough to feel that there’s something they could find attractive about pretty much anybody. You may surprise yourself.

You may hope that , but in reality it’s simply not the case .

There are loads of profiles on here stating whites only , no Asians , no blacks etc..... but don’t worry , it’s not a racist thing "

Because they have 'black, asian, arabic... Friends.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In my defence the ladies in my age range and location tend to be mainly white housewives but if any sexy black or Asian ladies where to come on the site on my area I'd definitely show some interest

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By *radleywigginsMan
over a year ago

northwest

"I think it smacks of a lack of imagination.

There’s no problem with having a preference, but there is a problem with deciding to exclude all but that preference..

I would hope that most people are in real life open minded enough to feel that there’s something they could find attractive about pretty much anybody. You may surprise yourself.

You may hope that , but in reality it’s simply not the case .

There are loads of profiles on here stating whites only , no Asians , no blacks etc..... but don’t worry , it’s not a racist thing "

And the reason I wouldn’t contact those profiles is because they don’t have any imagination. There’s no point labelling small minded people as racist. They have no insight into their opinions

I would imagine that the reasons for these ‘preferences’, and I’ll use the white couples only seeking black guys as an example, is that inherent racism propagates what they see as at best a stereotype, and at worst a taboo.

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By *loswingersCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

"I think it smacks of a lack of imagination.

There’s no problem with having a preference, but there is a problem with deciding to exclude all but that preference..

I would hope that most people are in real life open minded enough to feel that there’s something they could find attractive about pretty much anybody. You may surprise yourself.

You may hope that , but in reality it’s simply not the case .

There are loads of profiles on here stating whites only , no Asians , no blacks etc..... but don’t worry , it’s not a racist thing

Because they have 'black, asian, arabic... Friends.

Oh of course that old chestnut .

So this being the case , their ‘friends’ will be aware that they are only ‘friends’ to a certain degree . The thought of sleeping with them would be repulsive , but of course they know this , and yet they are still ‘friends’ ........

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What a stupid headline . Seriously

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Different cultures have very different ideas as to what is generally considered attractive. Individuals may break with cultural traditions but, if one culture doesn't find another culture sexually attractive, I can't see that as being racist, just preference.

I am sure that there are cultures in the world that don't find white westerners attractive. I don't see that as a racist thing, just cultural. The way that preference is conveyed can cross the red line into the realms of racism.

I have read some profiles where the way preference has been worded leaves a lot to be desired.

If someone wrote, sorry, I don't find Asians attractive. I would just accept that they don't find Asians attractive!

If someone wrote, No chinks. I would assume they were racist and, find it extremely offensive!

I don't find (insert race/colour/culture) attractive is, very different to... I don't like someone because they are (insert race/colour/culture).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just wondered what you think when you see a profile that states they do not meet people of a certain skin colour and then call it preference???"

Each to their own.

You can't brand people racist for their sexual preferences.

Quite a strange and leading question to pose really!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What a stupid headline . Seriously "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am not racist in the slightest and my preference is black guys. I have no hatred towards white men i just dnt find them sexually attractive. My choice. Not racist. But have been messaged.

I BET YOUR DAD IS PROUD OF YOU.

I asked WHY

Reply. FOR BEING A BLACK MAN'S WHORE.

Now thats Racist

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just wondered what you think when you see a profile that states they do not meet people of a certain skin colour and then call it preference???"

I think they're right.

I don't care if people think I'm racist or not, I won't fuck anyone that I don't fancy.

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By *hetalkingstoveMan
over a year ago

London

I don't find (insert race/colour/culture) attractive is, very different to... I don't like someone because they are (insert race/colour/culture).

It is, but there's not necessarily zero overlap between the two.

We live in a world where stereotypes often inform our perceptions and ideas. It's worth all of us asking ourselves where our preferences come from.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes

Maybe

Maybe not

Does it really matter? There is no actual advantage or disadvantage from a NSA meet. So why do you care?

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By *G CoupleCouple
over a year ago

kent

It is, but there's not necessarily zero overlap between the two.

We live in a world where stereotypes often inform our perceptions and ideas. It's worth all of us asking ourselves where our preferences come from.

Our preferences come from previous experiences.

It is only a preference.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just wondered what you think when you see a profile that states they do not meet people of a certain skin colour and then call it preference???"

No! Perfectly within my rights to fuck who I wish!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I actually think it is racist , BUT , I don’t think anyone should feel compelled to shag anyone they don’t fancy .

The question is why don’t some people fancy those of a different ethnic origin or colour ?

The answer is , and this is the crux of it , because they are racist .

Simple , end of the thread , no need to thank me for clearing that one up for you all

Utter bollocks!

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By *ungBlackTopMan
over a year ago

salford

No.

Those who wouldn't want to meet me because of the colour of my skin makes my life so much easier so I don't need to reject them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

said prefect ....

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By *loswingersCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

"I actually think it is racist , BUT , I don’t think anyone should feel compelled to shag anyone they don’t fancy .

The question is why don’t some people fancy those of a different ethnic origin or colour ?

The answer is , and this is the crux of it , because they are racist .

Simple , end of the thread , no need to thank me for clearing that one up for you all

Utter bollocks!"

Really ?

Elaborate .....

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By *hingy2Woman
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"I prefer to meet certain ladies of a certain type and age that just makes me choosy there's no racist overtones or underlying phobias"

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By *hingy2Woman
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"I am not racist in the slightest and my preference is black guys. I have no hatred towards white men i just dnt find them sexually attractive. My choice. Not racist. But have been messaged.

I BET YOUR DAD IS PROUD OF YOU.

I asked WHY

Reply. FOR BEING A BLACK MAN'S WHORE.

Now thats Racist

What a nasty thing to say to you and that's definitely racist

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No it's not racist perse. It's how that preference is communicated. Starting a sentence;

I'm not racist BUT...

Will immediately make the reader think the writer is being racist.

Using offensive language or being tone deaf in stating your preference can be misconceived as racist or homophobic etc.

It's about being considerate, inoffensive yet also making your intentions clear. I'm not interested in men, that's my sexual preference doesn't make me sexist. However if I said:

If your a male I'm not touching you with a ten foot barge pole because you disgust me.

Then that would be offensive and unfair.

I think it's simple, state your opinion in a simple, clear but benign way and no one will ever have the need to call you racist.

I suspect that there are people who wouldn't want to meet with me, as I'm a larger girl, have tattoos and piercings as well as super short bleached hair. As long as no one is nasty about I'd understand if they didn't want to see me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I actually think it is racist , BUT , I don’t think anyone should feel compelled to shag anyone they don’t fancy .

The question is why don’t some people fancy those of a different ethnic origin or colour ?

The answer is , and this is the crux of it , because they are racist .

Simple , end of the thread , no need to thank me for clearing that one up for you all

I'm ok with this.

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By *hingy2Woman
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"No it's not racist perse. It's how that preference is communicated. Starting a sentence;

I'm not racist BUT...

Will immediately make the reader think the writer is being racist.

Using offensive language or being tone deaf in stating your preference can be misconceived as racist or homophobic etc.

It's about being considerate, inoffensive yet also making your intentions clear. I'm not interested in men, that's my sexual preference doesn't make me sexist. However if I said:

If your a male I'm not touching you with a ten foot barge pole because you disgust me.

Then that would be offensive and unfair.

I think it's simple, state your opinion in a simple, clear but benign way and no one will ever have the need to call you racist.

Well said x

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By *aughtycouple1008Couple
over a year ago

west london

"If a guy doesn’t want to meet another guy is that homophobic?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't believe how twatist some of the women are on here.

What's wrong with being a twat

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have a sexual preference ( for bi as it matches our sexuality) and a height preference as we are short, and have recently added a no Asian men ‘clause’ as we are not attracted. We feel it fair to put our preferences publically to save everyone’s time. C is BBW and A is bearded. We’ve seen plenty of profiles excluding us for those reasons.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If a guy doesn’t want to meet another guy is that homophobic?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"And heightist ?

And ageist ?

And hairy / smoothist ?

And cock sizeist ?

Too many people in this world trying to make ordinary stuff into "offenceists""

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By *eal_curves_is_backWoman
over a year ago

London

"I think it smacks of a lack of imagination.

There’s no problem with having a preference, but there is a problem with deciding to exclude all but that preference..

I would hope that most people are in real life open minded enough to feel that there’s something they could find attractive about pretty much anybody. You may surprise yourself.

You may hope that , but in reality it’s simply not the case .

There are loads of profiles on here stating whites only , no Asians , no blacks etc..... but don’t worry , it’s not a racist thing

Because they have 'black, asian, arabic... Friends.

Oh of course that old chestnut .

Is a friend necessarily someone you have to be attracted to sexually?

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By *loswingersCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

"No it's not racist perse. It's how that preference is communicated. Starting a sentence;

I'm not racist BUT...

Will immediately make the reader think the writer is being racist.

Using offensive language or being tone deaf in stating your preference can be misconceived as racist or homophobic etc.

It's about being considerate, inoffensive yet also making your intentions clear. I'm not interested in men, that's my sexual preference doesn't make me sexist. However if I said:

If your a male I'm not touching you with a ten foot barge pole because you disgust me.

Then that would be offensive and unfair.

I think it's simple, state your opinion in a simple, clear but benign way and no one will ever have the need to call you racist.

See I get that , but when a coloured person suspects that there are people who don’t want to meet them and the only reason is the colour if their skin , then how is that not racist ?

You being larger , having piercings , having very short bleached har , having tattoos are all choices you have made to alter yourself . You live with the consequences of the choices you’ve made .

Coloured people have no choice to be the colour they are .... see the difference ?

If you are looking for women only , that’s a choice you have made in your search for what’s going to satiate your desires . It’s not sexist as you’re not looking for men , any more than a lesbian isn’t going to look for a man .

If one are only looking for white men or women , well that’s the racism card again . Why only white men or women ? Look deeper and ask why no coloured men or women are attractive to you . I can’t help but think there has to be a racist overtone to the very thought that one only wants to meet whites ( or blacks but that tends to be a kink ) .

I’m not having a dig at all to you personally here , but your post brings good reference points .

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By *eal_curves_is_backWoman
over a year ago

London

"No it's not racist perse. It's how that preference is communicated. Starting a sentence;

I'm not racist BUT...

Will immediately make the reader think the writer is being racist.

Using offensive language or being tone deaf in stating your preference can be misconceived as racist or homophobic etc.

It's about being considerate, inoffensive yet also making your intentions clear. I'm not interested in men, that's my sexual preference doesn't make me sexist. However if I said:

If your a male I'm not touching you with a ten foot barge pole because you disgust me.

Then that would be offensive and unfair.

I think it's simple, state your opinion in a simple, clear but benign way and no one will ever have the need to call you racist.

See I get that , but when a coloured person suspects that there are people who don’t want to meet them and the only reason is the colour if their skin , then how is that not racist ?

You being larger , having piercings , having very short bleached har , having tattoos are all choices you have made to alter yourself . You live with the consequences of the choices you’ve made .

Coloured people have no choice to be the colour they are .... see the difference ?

I’m not having a dig at all to you personally here , but your post brings good reference points .

Coloured people...

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By *loswingersCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

"I think it smacks of a lack of imagination.

There’s no problem with having a preference, but there is a problem with deciding to exclude all but that preference..

I would hope that most people are in real life open minded enough to feel that there’s something they could find attractive about pretty much anybody. You may surprise yourself.

You may hope that , but in reality it’s simply not the case .

There are loads of profiles on here stating whites only , no Asians , no blacks etc..... but don’t worry , it’s not a racist thing

Because they have 'black, asian, arabic... Friends.

Oh of course that old chestnut .

Is a friend necessarily someone you have to be attracted to sexually?"

Not at all , but if that person is aware if your feelings towards their colour / race in a sexual situation , would they still feel the same way towards you ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Such a mute subject, no one on here if displaying “not interested in black people” etc are ever going to admit in public that they are racist.

Some people are racist, some people are not, we know of some racist swingers, we know that some are not.

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By *alking DisasterWoman
over a year ago

South Oxfordshire

"I actually think it is racist , BUT , I don’t think anyone should feel compelled to shag anyone they don’t fancy .

The question is why don’t some people fancy those of a different ethnic origin or colour ?

The answer is , and this is the crux of it , because they are racist .

Simple , end of the thread , no need to thank me for clearing that one up for you all

I am not racist because I don't fancy a black person!

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By *loswingersCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

"No it's not racist perse. It's how that preference is communicated. Starting a sentence;

I'm not racist BUT...

Will immediately make the reader think the writer is being racist.

Using offensive language or being tone deaf in stating your preference can be misconceived as racist or homophobic etc.

It's about being considerate, inoffensive yet also making your intentions clear. I'm not interested in men, that's my sexual preference doesn't make me sexist. However if I said:

If your a male I'm not touching you with a ten foot barge pole because you disgust me.

Then that would be offensive and unfair.

I think it's simple, state your opinion in a simple, clear but benign way and no one will ever have the need to call you racist.

See I get that , but when a coloured person suspects that there are people who don’t want to meet them and the only reason is the colour if their skin , then how is that not racist ?

You being larger , having piercings , having very short bleached har , having tattoos are all choices you have made to alter yourself . You live with the consequences of the choices you’ve made .

Coloured people have no choice to be the colour they are .... see the difference ?

I’m not having a dig at all to you personally here , but your post brings good reference points .

Coloured people...

Can you think of a better terminology ?

Race , creed , ethnicity , .....?

I guess in trying to get my point across I’ve tried to make it too black and white

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By *oodnitegirlWoman
over a year ago

Yorkshire

Is it cos I is white?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No, it is just another preference some have.

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By *eal_curves_is_backWoman
over a year ago

London

"No it's not racist perse. It's how that preference is communicated. Starting a sentence;

I'm not racist BUT...

Will immediately make the reader think the writer is being racist.

Using offensive language or being tone deaf in stating your preference can be misconceived as racist or homophobic etc.

It's about being considerate, inoffensive yet also making your intentions clear. I'm not interested in men, that's my sexual preference doesn't make me sexist. However if I said:

If your a male I'm not touching you with a ten foot barge pole because you disgust me.

Then that would be offensive and unfair.

I think it's simple, state your opinion in a simple, clear but benign way and no one will ever have the need to call you racist.

See I get that , but when a coloured person suspects that there are people who don’t want to meet them and the only reason is the colour if their skin , then how is that not racist ?

You being larger , having piercings , having very short bleached har , having tattoos are all choices you have made to alter yourself . You live with the consequences of the choices you’ve made .

Coloured people have no choice to be the colour they are .... see the difference ?

I’m not having a dig at all to you personally here , but your post brings good reference points .

Coloured people...

Can you think of a better terminology ?

Race , creed , ethnicity , .....?

I guess in trying to get my point across I’ve tried to make it too black and white

Here's black and white.

We all have a type.

It may be broader or narrower.

What most of us do not have is much time. No one can meet everybody or even write to everybody, so some of us try to narrow the search down. This is done by telling people we will most likely not be attracted to not to waste their own and our time. It works most of the time. Now, of course no one (OK, few people) will like everyone who is the "right" type but that is why we are all different. I have said no to more people who meet my preferences than those who do not - for the obvious reason that the latter usually read profiles and do not bother.

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By *eal_curves_is_backWoman
over a year ago

London

"Is it cos I is white?"

Ali G (c)

Sasha is amazing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It is, but there's not necessarily zero overlap between the two.

We live in a world where stereotypes often inform our perceptions and ideas. It's worth all of us asking ourselves where our preferences come from.

Our preferences come from previous experiences.

It is only a preference. "

What a strange concept! To write off potential playmates of a certain ethenticity because of previous experiences, now that is racist

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just wondered what you think when you see a profile that states they do not meet people of a certain skin colour and then call it preference???"

Is forcing someone to have sex with someone that's not there type just to be politically correct acceptable?

You can still like someone as a person without being sexually attracted to them so no it's not racism if it's not hate related.

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By *hoot45Man
over a year ago

Ramsgate

At my stage in life I have a preference for those with a pulse - everything else is a bonus!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It is, but there's not necessarily zero overlap between the two.

We live in a world where stereotypes often inform our perceptions and ideas. It's worth all of us asking ourselves where our preferences come from.

Our preferences come from previous experiences.

It is only a preference.

What a strange concept! To write off potential playmates of a certain ethenticity because of previous experiences, now that is racist "

And this is how racial sexual preference is formed...

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By *eal_curves_is_backWoman
over a year ago

London

It is, but there's not necessarily zero overlap between the two.

We live in a world where stereotypes often inform our perceptions and ideas. It's worth all of us asking ourselves where our preferences come from.

Our preferences come from previous experiences.

It is only a preference.

What a strange concept! To write off potential playmates of a certain ethenticity because of previous experiences, now that is racist "

No, we have to say yes to everybody who asks.

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By *G CoupleCouple
over a year ago

kent

It is, but there's not necessarily zero overlap between the two.

We live in a world where stereotypes often inform our perceptions and ideas. It's worth all of us asking ourselves where our preferences come from.

Our preferences come from previous experiences.

It is only a preference.

What a strange concept! To write off potential playmates of a certain ethenticity because of previous experiences, now that is racist "

As we said in our first post on the thread, we don’t rule out white guys.

We are not writing off anyone because of ethenticity.

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By *eal_curves_is_backWoman
over a year ago

London

It is, but there's not necessarily zero overlap between the two.

We live in a world where stereotypes often inform our perceptions and ideas. It's worth all of us asking ourselves where our preferences come from.

Our preferences come from previous experiences.

It is only a preference.

What a strange concept! To write off potential playmates of a certain ethenticity because of previous experiences, now that is racist

As we said in our first post on the thread, we don’t rule out white guys.

We are not writing off anyone because of ethenticity. "

I personally do rule them out ON THE SITE. I have met exactly two I have been attracted to in the scene over five years. One of them I just found attractive without wanting to get close. What is the chance?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

read a profile where they said "no blacks, asians or other".....

other !?......maybe it was a UKIP swinger covering all bases

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"Just wondered what you think when you see a profile that states they do not meet people of a certain skin colour and then call it preference???"

I think their body their choice...onto the next profile if I don't meet what they're looking for.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just wondered what you think when you see a profile that states they do not meet people of a certain skin colour and then call it preference???"

I think good for them. They arent going to fuck someone they arent attracted too.

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By *eal Deal PartiesWoman
over a year ago

"And heightist ?

And ageist ?

And hairy / smoothist ?

And cock sizeist ?

Too many people in this world trying to make ordinary stuff into "offenceists""

Hear!! Hear!!

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By *eal_curves_is_backWoman
over a year ago

London

Now, as for previous experiences. They need not be sexual experiences. Say, someone has had unfavourable impressions from a certain culture; they are aware not everyone in that culture is the same but do not have the time to sieve through thousands of people to find those who are different, so they save time by ruling out all the representatives of that culture all together. Their right - time is precious.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"And heightist ?

And ageist ?

And hairy / smoothist ?

And cock sizeist ?

Too many people in this world trying to make ordinary stuff into "offenceists""

Exactly!!! Almost envy them not having anything to worry about other than who total strangers decide to fuck!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just wondered what you think when you see a profile that states they do not meet people of a certain skin colour and then call it preference???"

No. Simple.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"Just wondered what you think when you see a profile that states they do not meet people of a certain skin colour and then call it preference???

Thats exactly what it is..

Why oh why people (usually those the profile holder doesnt want to meet) have to question and make a big thing of it is beyond me..

Just move on to those who will

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s the one area where people are free to discriminate as they please!

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By *igblackdomTV/TS
over a year ago

West Midlands

"Not really in my opinion.

It's racist to bar people from a job due to their race but sex isn't an equal opportunities pastime.

Undoubtedly some people will have racist reasons behind their preferences but for many its a positive choice in favour of a certain race in order to fulfil fantasies."

Excellent post.

There's another interesting perspective, the negative cultural overtones of (some) white couples/women and (some) black makes who buy into the historic sexual overtones between blacks and whites..in my youth I remember it bring described as the Mandingo complex which is perpetuated in contemporary pornography where interracial sex is reduced to the lowest denominator..'blacked', 'gangsta', 'bbc', 'cuckold', 'nigga' etc etc.

In my ham fisted response I guess I'm trying to say that the black male is often depicted as a fetish, disposable or delinquent-not someone you'd like your daughter to bring home and it's a shame if this subconscious view is reflected in general society.

On another thread a (black) poster mentioned he'd noticed that on dating sites the overwhelming majority of white females indicate a preference for white males, I've noticed this myself too and of course it's absolutely fine yet my experience in this alt world has been the opposite, where my skin colour is a novelty and I'm not really comfortable with that.

PS I've been asked before why I mention my skin colour in my username-it's a simply descriptive reference so people not into black guys can pass me by!.

Pps and I'm also big and called Dominic in case anyone was wondering!

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"I actually think it is racist , BUT , I don’t think anyone should feel compelled to shag anyone they don’t fancy .

The question is why don’t some people fancy those of a different ethnic origin or colour ?

The answer is , and this is the crux of it , because they are racist .

Simple , end of the thread , no need to thank me for clearing that one up for you all

I am black and don't play with black men.

I don't have "issues", love a black man, my husband was black. When it comes to how I play, colour is but one factor: height and weight also feature.

It's not that I don't find black men sexually attractive, I do...I just know the type of black man who would play the way I like is riding around on Pegasus corralling his herd of unicorns.

Therefore, I don't automatically assume any ism if someone has a sexual preference.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just wondered what you think when you see a profile that states they do not meet people of a certain skin colour and then call it preference???"

Yes. No. Maybe. You’d have to ask the profile directly, (those that felt they had to shout it from the rooftops of course)

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"Just wondered what you think when you see a profile that states they do not meet people of a certain skin colour and then call it preference???

It’s their choice who they have sex with and can give any reason they want for not wanting sex with anyone. Their body, their rules. "

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"No it's not racist perse. It's how that preference is communicated. Starting a sentence;

I'm not racist BUT...

Will immediately make the reader think the writer is being racist.

Using offensive language or being tone deaf in stating your preference can be misconceived as racist or homophobic etc.

It's about being considerate, inoffensive yet also making your intentions clear. I'm not interested in men, that's my sexual preference doesn't make me sexist. However if I said:

If your a male I'm not touching you with a ten foot barge pole because you disgust me.

Then that would be offensive and unfair.

I think it's simple, state your opinion in a simple, clear but benign way and no one will ever have the need to call you racist.

Exactly my view!

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By *eadonistCoupleCouple
over a year ago

Ashton under Lyne

Not at all. It's simply preference.

It's like saying that if you only like ladies with a bit of thickness to them would be skinnyest.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"No it's not racist perse. It's how that preference is communicated. Starting a sentence;

I'm not racist BUT...

Will immediately make the reader think the writer is being racist.

Using offensive language or being tone deaf in stating your preference can be misconceived as racist or homophobic etc.

It's about being considerate, inoffensive yet also making your intentions clear. I'm not interested in men, that's my sexual preference doesn't make me sexist. However if I said:

If your a male I'm not touching you with a ten foot barge pole because you disgust me.

Then that would be offensive and unfair.

I think it's simple, state your opinion in a simple, clear but benign way and no one will ever have the need to call you racist.

See I get that , but when a coloured person suspects that there are people who don’t want to meet them and the only reason is the colour if their skin , then how is that not racist ?

You being larger , having piercings , having very short bleached har , having tattoos are all choices you have made to alter yourself . You live with the consequences of the choices you’ve made .

Coloured people have no choice to be the colour they are .... see the difference ?

I’m not having a dig at all to you personally here , but your post brings good reference points .

I find the use of "coloured" more offensive than no blacks...just saying!

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"No it's not racist perse. It's how that preference is communicated. Starting a sentence;

I'm not racist BUT...

Will immediately make the reader think the writer is being racist.

Using offensive language or being tone deaf in stating your preference can be misconceived as racist or homophobic etc.

It's about being considerate, inoffensive yet also making your intentions clear. I'm not interested in men, that's my sexual preference doesn't make me sexist. However if I said:

If your a male I'm not touching you with a ten foot barge pole because you disgust me.

Then that would be offensive and unfair.

I think it's simple, state your opinion in a simple, clear but benign way and no one will ever have the need to call you racist.

See I get that , but when a coloured person suspects that there are people who don’t want to meet them and the only reason is the colour if their skin , then how is that not racist ?

You being larger , having piercings , having very short bleached har , having tattoos are all choices you have made to alter yourself . You live with the consequences of the choices you’ve made .

Coloured people have no choice to be the colour they are .... see the difference ?

I’m not having a dig at all to you personally here , but your post brings good reference points .

Coloured people...

Exactly!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't find (insert race/colour/culture) attractive is, very different to... I don't like someone because they are (insert race/colour/culture).

It is, but there's not necessarily zero overlap between the two.

We live in a world where stereotypes often inform our perceptions and ideas. It's worth all of us asking ourselves where our preferences come from.

But it doesn't mean there is an overlap either. It's down to the individual in question.

That's where it gets confusing isn't it.

There will be some very clever racists that know how to word their preferences so as no one would ever suspect and, there will be people with not a racist bone in their bodies that, are clumsy as fuck in their wording and give completely the wrong impression.

There is plenty on the internet about what different cultures find attractive in a sexual partner. There are lots of different shades of black (as there are of all colours) and, lots of lighter shades don't find the darker shades attractive and visa versa.

Maybe preference is a more subconscious and base instinct with deep roots in the evolutionary side of nature. It makes sense that we would want to mate with the strongest of our own tribe, the person whose features are the best representative of what our own culture finds attractive.

I believe that some people's preferences are based on ignorance and racial prejudice. Others probably couldn't explain why but, they just don't find a specific culture or their traits attractive... that's not racist!

I am lucky in some respects, I can hide my cultural background behind my white skin and English accent but there are plenty of people out there that hate the Irish because they are Irish and, Germans, because they are German. Usually the same people that don't like black people because they are black??? I've been on the recieving end of racism, friends that couldn't invite me to their house after school because their parents didn't like Germans or Irish. Name calling in the playground! I hate racism but, if someone purely states as a sexual preference, that they don't find a certain cultural trait attractive and, have given me no other reason to think they're a racist I'll let them have that preference. There are plenty of people, me included, that find other people from other cultural backgrounds very attractive.

Be true to yourself in what you prefer but don't be offensive in the way you convey it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am not racist in the slightest and my preference is black guys. I have no hatred towards white men i just dnt find them sexually attractive. My choice. Not racist. But have been messaged.

I BET YOUR DAD IS PROUD OF YOU.

I asked WHY

Reply. FOR BEING A BLACK MAN'S WHORE.

Now thats Racist

What a nasty thing to say to you and that's definitely racist"

Exactly and a WHITE GUY as you have gathered. Why would anyone say that. Needless to say my reply wasnt pleasant

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just wondered what you think when you see a profile that states they do not meet people of a certain skin colour and then call it preference???"

The most pathetic thread for quite some time.

Of course it is not Racist!

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By *ad-GirlWoman
over a year ago

Huddersfield

"Just wondered what you think when you see a profile that states they do not meet people of a certain skin colour and then call it preference???"

It is preference! If a guy dosn't want fucking up the arse by another guy is he homophobic or is that preference? I would say both are preference as people surely be attracted to who they fuck.

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By *ilk_TrayMan
over a year ago

South

When it comes to race or ethnicity I have no preference

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you want to start a argument mention race or colour.

Should a person's skin colour matter.No.

Should your sexual preference matter?Yes.

Should it matter who other people find sexually attractive?No.

If someone is only sexully attracted to fair hair or dark hair or light eyes or dark eyes or light skin or dark skin or fat slim tall short ect: then that's who there attracted to it's that simple.I doesn't mean they hate someone that doesn't fit there type.

Get over it.Its there type.its there body.Its there choice so don't get wound up over something that is someone else's personal choice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

no its preference... i prefer pale red heads... doesnt make me racist its a preference... like white bread/brown bread... granary for me please.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Human Being A wants to Fuck Human Being B

Human Being B wants to Fuck Human Being A .

Congratulations to you both on finding someone who really wants to FUCK you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Unfortunately people are allowed to be racist. Unfortunately they will be vocal about it. It's not right, it's not fair, it's not even ethical but we as humans have every right to feel however we want.

We are however responsible for own words and deeds. And that means we are not allowed to be offensive or incite hatred.

Now in my mind that means we have a right to not want to be around certain people for whatever reason but that doesn't mean we can be nasty and disgusting about it.

We as a society need to be aware of how ridiculous and pointless racism is. I mean seriously think about it.

There's people who don't like other people just because they have more melatonin in their skin. That's it.. That's the only difference

Personally as long as you don't have a penis there's a high chance the only thing that will put me off a person is their personality.

Ethnicity plays no part on whether I will find someone attractive.

I don't think all preference about ethnicity is racism however I'd be naive if I didn't see that it could be a part of it. Especially after reading this thread.

No one has a right to be nasty we all the have the right to be treated with dignity and respect. Every person has the right to dignity and respect, every person. I think sometimes we all need to be reminded of that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just wondered what you think when you see a profile that states they do not meet people of a certain skin colour and then call it preference???

Is forcing someone to have sex with someone that's not there type just to be politically correct acceptable?

You can still like someone as a person without being sexually attracted to them so no it's not racism if it's not hate related."

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By *os19Man
over a year ago

Edmonton

"I am not racist in the slightest and my preference is black guys. I have no hatred towards white men i just dnt find them sexually attractive. My choice. Not racist. But have been messaged.

I BET YOUR DAD IS PROUD OF YOU.

I asked WHY

Reply. FOR BEING A BLACK MAN'S WHORE.

Now thats Racist

"
. You are right it is racist and absolutely no need for it.As I said in a earlier posting on this forum I received a message which could be viewed as racist but nowhere near as bad as yours but please remember we are bigger and better than these idiots.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 08/04/18 17:29:29]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I actually think it is racist , BUT , I don’t think anyone should feel compelled to shag anyone they don’t fancy .

The question is why don’t some people fancy those of a different ethnic origin or colour ?

The answer is , and this is the crux of it , because they are racist .

Simple , end of the thread , no need to thank me for clearing that one up for you all

Utter bollocks!

Really ?

Elaborate .....

Really doesn't need elaboration. I have no problem meeting black guys but I really dont find Asian guys do anything for me so I wouldn't meet them. I wouldn't meet a guy shorter than me or fatter than me or a guy who meets TV etc. They are preferences pure and simple!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nah.

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By *loswingersCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

Well whatever anyone else thinks , and clearly we are in a massive minority here , we think it is racist to say no blacks , no Asians , no whites , or no any other race you care to mention . People , are people no matter what , and to call it a preference is just a get out of jail card free .

It matters not though , I’m not going to carry this on . It’s cool as it means that as we are happy to meet every race equally , it’s more fun for us .

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By *BWandhusbandCouple
over a year ago

Midlands

"No it's not racist perse. It's how that preference is communicated. Starting a sentence;

I'm not racist BUT...

Will immediately make the reader think the writer is being racist.

Using offensive language or being tone deaf in stating your preference can be misconceived as racist or homophobic etc.

It's about being considerate, inoffensive yet also making your intentions clear. I'm not interested in men, that's my sexual preference doesn't make me sexist. However if I said:

If your a male I'm not touching you with a ten foot barge pole because you disgust me.

Then that would be offensive and unfair.

I think it's simple, state your opinion in a simple, clear but benign way and no one will ever have the need to call you racist.

See I get that , but when a coloured person suspects that there are people who don’t want to meet them and the only reason is the colour if their skin , then how is that not racist ?

You being larger , having piercings , having very short bleached har , having tattoos are all choices you have made to alter yourself . You live with the consequences of the choices you’ve made .

Coloured people have no choice to be the colour they are .... see the difference ?

I’m not having a dig at all to you personally here , but your post brings good reference points .

I find the use of "coloured" more offensive than no blacks...just saying!"

It's something my grandparents generation might have said. Not appropriate these days at all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well whatever anyone else thinks , and clearly we are in a massive minority here , we think it is racist to say no blacks , no Asians , no whites , or no any other race you care to mention . People , are people no matter what , and to call it a preference is just a get out of jail card free .

It matters not though , I’m not going to carry this on . It’s cool as it means that as we are happy to meet every race equally , it’s more fun for us .

Exactly.

To not have sex with someone who is black, asian, white...because you aren't attracted to that person isn't racist at all.

Claiming that you aren't attracted to every single person of a certain race is very ambiguous.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't personally think homosexuality can be compared with racial sexual preferences.

In my opinion, homosexuality arises from nature and nurture, yet racial sexual preference is definitely something that arises from social environment.

Not wanting to have sex with someone you aren't attracted to isn't racist. But claiming that you are solely not attracted to every humans being who are either black or asian, is ambiguous.

Yep...this

Personally for us as soon as we see this on a profile we pass them by. They may not see it as racist and maybe it isn't but it's off putting to us that someone can say for certain they won't be sexually attracted to a whole group of people purely because of race. We wouldn't take the risk that we were meeting those that held racist opinions.

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By *andare63Man
over a year ago

oldham

"If a guy doesn’t want to meet another guy is that homophobic?"

Well said

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By *loswingersCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

"No it's not racist perse. It's how that preference is communicated. Starting a sentence;

I'm not racist BUT...

Will immediately make the reader think the writer is being racist.

Using offensive language or being tone deaf in stating your preference can be misconceived as racist or homophobic etc.

It's about being considerate, inoffensive yet also making your intentions clear. I'm not interested in men, that's my sexual preference doesn't make me sexist. However if I said:

If your a male I'm not touching you with a ten foot barge pole because you disgust me.

Then that would be offensive and unfair.

I think it's simple, state your opinion in a simple, clear but benign way and no one will ever have the need to call you racist.

See I get that , but when a coloured person suspects that there are people who don’t want to meet them and the only reason is the colour if their skin , then how is that not racist ?

You being larger , having piercings , having very short bleached har , having tattoos are all choices you have made to alter yourself . You live with the consequences of the choices you’ve made .

Coloured people have no choice to be the colour they are .... see the difference ?

I’m not having a dig at all to you personally here , but your post brings good reference points .

I find the use of "coloured" more offensive than no blacks...just saying!

It's something my grandparents generation might have said. Not appropriate these days at all."

I doubt I’m of your grandparents age , and maybe I am old fashioned , but clearly no offence was meant .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No its choice for the billienth time

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By *loswingersCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

"No it's not racist perse. It's how that preference is communicated. Starting a sentence;

I'm not racist BUT...

Will immediately make the reader think the writer is being racist.

Using offensive language or being tone deaf in stating your preference can be misconceived as racist or homophobic etc.

It's about being considerate, inoffensive yet also making your intentions clear. I'm not interested in men, that's my sexual preference doesn't make me sexist. However if I said:

If your a male I'm not touching you with a ten foot barge pole because you disgust me.

Then that would be offensive and unfair.

I think it's simple, state your opinion in a simple, clear but benign way and no one will ever have the need to call you racist.

See I get that , but when a coloured person suspects that there are people who don’t want to meet them and the only reason is the colour if their skin , then how is that not racist ?

You being larger , having piercings , having very short bleached har , having tattoos are all choices you have made to alter yourself . You live with the consequences of the choices you’ve made .

Coloured people have no choice to be the colour they are .... see the difference ?

I’m not having a dig at all to you personally here , but your post brings good reference points .

I find the use of "coloured" more offensive than no blacks...just saying!"

My apologies , I meant no offence at all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No it's not racist perse. It's how that preference is communicated. Starting a sentence;

I'm not racist BUT...

Will immediately make the reader think the writer is being racist.

Using offensive language or being tone deaf in stating your preference can be misconceived as racist or homophobic etc.

It's about being considerate, inoffensive yet also making your intentions clear. I'm not interested in men, that's my sexual preference doesn't make me sexist. However if I said:

If your a male I'm not touching you with a ten foot barge pole because you disgust me.

Then that would be offensive and unfair.

I think it's simple, state your opinion in a simple, clear but benign way and no one will ever have the need to call you racist.

See I get that , but when a coloured person suspects that there are people who don’t want to meet them and the only reason is the colour if their skin , then how is that not racist ?

You being larger , having piercings , having very short bleached har , having tattoos are all choices you have made to alter yourself . You live with the consequences of the choices you’ve made .

Coloured people have no choice to be the colour they are .... see the difference ?

I’m not having a dig at all to you personally here , but your post brings good reference points .

I find the use of "coloured" more offensive than no blacks...just saying!

It's something my grandparents generation might have said. Not appropriate these days at all."
freedom of speech and all and political correctness has gone mad that's why we're on the verge of civil war within 10 years max

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Civil war? Over sexual preferences? Seems a bit unlikely to me.

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By *eavenscentitCouple
over a year ago

barnstaple

As long as the man is fun and likes women as an equal person. For this reason I find some Asian men's attitudes about women are not for me

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By *MaleMan
over a year ago

There far too much choice'ism in today's society. All those people making decisions on what they like, what/who appeals and who turns them on enough to want to meet.

How fooking dare they come here with their ism's behaving like ist's.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Civil war? Over sexual preferences? Seems a bit unlikely to me.

Will there be sword fights using dildos? And condoms used as slingshots. Could be fun.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Civil war? Over sexual preferences? Seems a bit unlikely to me.

Will there be sword fights using dildos? And condoms used as slingshots. Could be fun. "

This is totally unPC, but too funny not to write....

Who is going to design the Tv's uniform?

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By *hy_guy89Man
over a year ago

birmingham

This tread is a great example of whataboutism

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This tread is a great example of whataboutism"

Could it be ismist? Or is it ismism? Sorry OP but this same thread comes up time and time again. And it always ends up as maybe or maybe not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 09/04/18 01:13:06]

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By *ubiousOatcakeMan
over a year ago

Aberdeenshire

"This tread is a great example of whataboutism"

Actually, that’s the first reply. Totally misses the point.

Your man FabulousAndBearded nailed this topic in his first post up there, by the way.

It’s worth noting that the experts disagree, so we’re not likely to find an answer on this page. However, the general consensus is that racial sexual preference and racial fetishisation are fundamentally racist. That’s not to say that someone who says they aren’t attracted to black people would necessarily be prejudiced against black people outside of the bedroom (although that is a Venn diagram with a significant crossover) but that your sexual preferences are a product of social conditioning. Which is pretty much what FabulousAndBearded said.

And before anyone says, “But the media just sells what people find attractive,” go away and learn about feedback loops. Look at how so many young women have become amplified versions of the men’s mag photoshops of years past, and how that’s massively altered what young men find attractive.

If anyone is interested in this topic, it’s worth reading about the fetishisation of East and South East Asian women, and the reverse of that in the East, particularly Japan, where models are increasingly western-looking.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get massively turned on watching white women with black guys -- and I sometimes wonder if I'm fetishising someone because of their race - I don't think I am, but I get why it might seem like that.

There's background to my story though - I caught an ex cheating me with some black guys many years ago and, after I processed the dishonesty, I realised it turned me on - something that would not have happened had it been white guys.

I think the thing is, it's not about race, it's about "other" and contrast and different. Someone I cannot identify with, someone different and therefore not a threat, or something like that.

My mind is complex, because when it comes to politics I'm pretty left wing and accepting of people.

I guess I don't understand myself, so meanwhile I just like what I like :D

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By *mm_n_ZedCouple
over a year ago

Fareham

"I think it smacks of a lack of imagination.

There’s no problem with having a preference, but there is a problem with deciding to exclude all but that preference..

I would hope that most people are in real life open minded enough to feel that there’s something they could find attractive about pretty much anybody. You may surprise yourself.

You may hope that , but in reality it’s simply not the case .

There are loads of profiles on here stating whites only , no Asians , no blacks etc..... but don’t worry , it’s not a racist thing

Because they have 'black, asian, arabic... Friends.

Oh of course that old chestnut .

I'm sure there are friends of mine who aren't attracted to fat women but they're still my friends - why would I want to ditch them because they don't find me physically attractive? Not everything has to boil down to sex.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it depends on where the "preference" stems from

If its because you dont find a race visually stimulating then its not racism

If its because you assume all of that race are arseholes for example then its racism

Chances of you working out which is the driver from just a profile on here i guess is low

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By *L RogueMan
over a year ago

London

No. Simples.

They have their reasons and you'd be wasting your energy finding out why or trying to change their opinion. This is for fun, not work and there's enough people in this crazy world to meet.

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By *ubiousOatcakeMan
over a year ago

Aberdeenshire

"I get massively turned on watching white women with black guys -- and I sometimes wonder if I'm fetishising someone because of their race - I don't think I am..."
...goes on to describe textbook fetishisation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"goes on to describe textbook fetishisation."
Which textbook did you read?

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By *ornyDubMan25Man
over a year ago

Berlin

The title of this thread makes me want to put my head through a wall!

Is this entire site exploitation of women?? Fuck this PC shite! Some people prefer a certain race for the wrong reasons, others don't, such is the world we live in! The ones that have a non-racist/prejudicial approach do not deserve to have to walk on eggshells in fear of being branded a racist thanks to the few muppets in the respective "scene"!

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By *mm_n_ZedCouple
over a year ago

Fareham

"The title of this thread makes me want to put my head through a wall!

The voice of reason

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By *ubiousOatcakeMan
over a year ago

Aberdeenshire

"No. Simples.

They have their reasons and you'd be wasting your energy finding out why or trying to change their opinion. This is for fun, not work and there's enough people in this crazy world to meet. "

Your qualification doesn’t support your answer. Your post would make as much sense if you changed the first word to ‘yes’.

I don’t think that exploring a controversial topic is a waste of energy. You found the time and energy to post a response. It wouldn’t take too much more time to do the same and have something to say.

"If its because you dont find a race visually stimulating then its not racism"

The only problem with this response (and similar responses like it earlier in the thread) is that it uses a definition of racism narrow enough to suit people feeling better about their subconscious decisions. “I don’t think I’m racist, therefore this thing I do isn’t racist,” is a flawed argument; it’s circular reasoning.

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By *ornyDubMan25Man
over a year ago

Berlin

"The title of this thread makes me want to put my head through a wall!

The voice of reason

Potentially, but it's more of an irrational rant!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

FFS people are a joke! Racism, sexism, in fact I can't even name any other ism's as basically I don't give a shit!. If your a dick I'll treat you as such. I've lived all over the world at times felt way out my depth, but I'm not a prick so got by. I've sat cross Legged with an Arab. Dined with the so called upper class (preferred no shoes and no cutlery) the one thing I've learned is there will always be ignorant people and I don't actually give a flying fuck what they think. Fuck em all you might be dead tomorrow

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We all have preferences but unless there is spark, that twinkle in the eye, the chemical reaction in you when you are touched, wanted etc. then you could be any gender, sexuality, skin colour, height, age, body shape - there isn’t a chance in hell I will meet you.

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By *eal_curves_is_backWoman
over a year ago

London

So, one simple question: what do the equal-opportunity fabbers suggest that does not massively increase the time spent pretending we like everyone but just that the individual is "not for us"?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just wondered what you think when you see a profile that states they do not meet people of a certain skin colour and then call it preference???"

It is not racist if a group of people say red heads (I am a red head really) does not turn them on. I do not like hairy guys so am I being hairiest (sic)?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So, one simple question: what do the equal-opportunity fabbers suggest that does not massively increase the time spent pretending we like everyone but just that the individual is "not for us"?

Sorry dude - but I am not sure that what we are looking for is mutually compatible

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't personally think homosexuality can be compared with racial sexual preferences.

In my opinion, homosexuality arises from nature and nurture, yet racial sexual preference is definitely something that arises from social environment.

Not wanting to have sex with someone you aren't attracted to isn't racist. But claiming that you are solely not attracted to every humans being who are either black or asian, is ambiguous.

Got to disagree with this I'm afraid. People of certain ethnicities and races have different features and to not be attracted to them in general can be purely down to a person not finding their features appealing.

I myself very VERY rarely find a black man attractive, black women I'm more likely to be attracted to. I'm just not into the big facial features I find that they have. That in no way makes me racist, it's just what turns me on and off. Same as a straight man is turned off by a penis.

It's definitely a preference although a lot of those preferences will come from racist views for a lot of individuals, it doesn't mean it always does and it certainly doesn't mean the rest of us have to sleep with others outside our preferences to prove a point.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The title of this thread makes me want to put my head through a wall!

The voice of reason

Potentially, but it's more of an irrational rant!"

Voice of reason? Wants to put his head through a wall?

completely reasonable.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't personally think homosexuality can be compared with racial sexual preferences.

In my opinion, homosexuality arises from nature and nurture, yet racial sexual preference is definitely something that arises from social environment.

Not wanting to have sex with someone you aren't attracted to isn't racist. But claiming that you are solely not attracted to every humans being who are either black or asian, is ambiguous.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't have a choice about being a wheelchair user, but apparently it's fine for some men to not find me attractive because of it.

It's the reasons behind the preference that are the point. I haven't seen one POC that I find sexually attractive, even Idris Elba. It's not because I think they're less in any way, I just don't feel attracted. That's not to say I would always feel that way and of course it's possible that a MOC could come along that Id want to fuck his brains out. But in 47 years it hasn't happened so it's unlikely. Why waste their time?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We’ve had this debate so many times, but for me, having ‘No Blacks’ or ‘No Asians’ on your profile just makes you look insensitive & narrow minded.

It’s okay to have preferences, we all do, but why discount a whole group of people.

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By *eal_curves_is_backWoman
over a year ago

London

"We’ve had this debate so many times, but for me, having ‘No Blacks’ or ‘No Asians’ on your profile just makes you look insensitive & narrow minded.

It’s okay to have preferences, we all do, but why discount a whole group of people. "

Because you are not attracted to any of that group of people or are attracted to so few it makes it unfeasible to answer their messages!!!!

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By *ubiousOatcakeMan
over a year ago

Aberdeenshire

"I'm just not into the big facial features I find that they have. That in no way makes me racist, it's just what turns me on and off. Same as a straight man is turned off by a penis."

1. The penis thing and the skin colour thing are not, in any way, the same.

2. As I already explained, “I don’t think I’m racist, therefore this thing I do isn’t racist,” is a flawed argument. Now, I’m not saying that you’re overtly racist, or that you would consciously discriminate or treat people as though they are inferior (although, you are discriminating and describing people as though they are inferior) but to say, “it’s just a preference,” is to fundamentally misunderstand what you’re saying.

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By *eal_curves_is_backWoman
over a year ago

London

"I don't have a choice about being a wheelchair user, but apparently it's fine for some men to not find me attractive because of it.

There you go. Me and white, Asian and Middle Eastern guys. The story of my life. Same story. One comes along once every 10 years or never. Why give so many people false hopes?

Idris Elba though... Well, I will take him off your hands if he ever writes.

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By *eal_curves_is_backWoman
over a year ago

London

[Removed by poster at 09/04/18 09:09:18]

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By *eal_curves_is_backWoman
over a year ago

London

"So, one simple question: what do the equal-opportunity fabbers suggest that does not massively increase the time spent pretending we like everyone but just that the individual is "not for us"?

Sorry dude - but I am not sure that what we are looking for is mutually compatible "

Dude? DUDE?!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't personally think homosexuality can be compared with racial sexual preferences.

In my opinion, homosexuality arises from nature and nurture, yet racial sexual preference is definitely something that arises from social environment.

Not wanting to have sex with someone you aren't attracted to isn't racist. But claiming that you are solely not attracted to every humans being who are either black or asian, is ambiguous.

Commenting that you don't like black people because they have "big facial features" is slightly racist lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm just not into the big facial features I find that they have. That in no way makes me racist, it's just what turns me on and off. Same as a straight man is turned off by a penis.

1. The penis thing and the skin colour thing are not, in any way, the same.

So what is not being attracted to me because I use a wheelchair?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't have a choice about being a wheelchair user, but apparently it's fine for some men to not find me attractive because of it.

There you go. Me and white, Asian and Middle Eastern guys. The story of my life. Same story. One comes along once every 10 years or never. Why give so many people false hopes?

Idris Elba though... Well, I will take him off your hands if he ever writes.

Laughing!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No it's not racist perse. It's how that preference is communicated. Starting a sentence;

I'm not racist BUT...

Will immediately make the reader think the writer is being racist.

Using offensive language or being tone deaf in stating your preference can be misconceived as racist or homophobic etc.

It's about being considerate, inoffensive yet also making your intentions clear. I'm not interested in men, that's my sexual preference doesn't make me sexist. However if I said:

If your a male I'm not touching you with a ten foot barge pole because you disgust me.

Then that would be offensive and unfair.

I think it's simple, state your opinion in a simple, clear but benign way and no one will ever have the need to call you racist.

See I get that , but when a coloured person suspects that there are people who don’t want to meet them and the only reason is the colour if their skin , then how is that not racist ?

You being larger , having piercings , having very short bleached har , having tattoos are all choices you have made to alter yourself . You live with the consequences of the choices you’ve made .

Coloured people have no choice to be the colour they are .... see the difference ?

I’m not having a dig at all to you personally here , but your post brings good reference points .

"Coloured" LOL

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By *eal_curves_is_backWoman
over a year ago

London

"I don't have a choice about being a wheelchair user, but apparently it's fine for some men to not find me attractive because of it.

There you go. Me and white, Asian and Middle Eastern guys. The story of my life. Same story. One comes along once every 10 years or never. Why give so many people false hopes?

Idris Elba though... Well, I will take him off your hands if he ever writes.

Laughing! "

A lookalike will do as well.

Or even lookalittlebitalike.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We’ve had this debate so many times, but for me, having ‘No Blacks’ or ‘No Asians’ on your profile just makes you look insensitive & narrow minded.

It’s okay to have preferences, we all do, but why discount a whole group of people. "

This is also skewed by numbers. Men get 4 messages a year, can easily make individual choices. Women apparently get 40+ a day, so eliminating whole groups is a necessary coping strategy.

Therefore any argument of any ism based on a fab profile is flawed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some of you should really go an do your homework an read up on sexual attraction! It’s nothing to do with how you was raised. And it’s nothing to do with racism!

It’s who you are. There is only 10% of people who are attracted to any race most have a inbuilt preference.

I don’t see why we need so many threads on this topic.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If, as general rule, you don't find a particular race or cultures physical characteristics sexually attractive but are open minded to the fact that, one day you might come across someone from that race or culture that you find yourself attracted to... that's a preference.

I prefer apples to oranges but, every now and again, I have myself an orange!

To have a complete blanket ban against a certain race or culture is an exclusion not a preference!

It is a form of racism when it becomes a blanket ban but, if this form of racism is only ever prevalant with regards to choice of sexual partners ie, they are happy to share every other aspect of life with that racial or cultural group then, we have to tolerate that choice!

If a person's body is their temple, they get the final say as to who gets to worship there! It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, you will probably never change their mind. If it is only a sexual choice, it's a choice everyone else has to tolerate and they shouldn't be harassed over it.

It would be nice if we all got on and liked one another but the truth is we don't.

It's the people that won't break bread with you because of your race or culture that I worry more about.

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By *eal_curves_is_backWoman
over a year ago

London

"I don't personally think homosexuality can be compared with racial sexual preferences.

In my opinion, homosexuality arises from nature and nurture, yet racial sexual preference is definitely something that arises from social environment.

Not wanting to have sex with someone you aren't attracted to isn't racist. But claiming that you are solely not attracted to every humans being who are either black or asian, is ambiguous.

Commenting that you don't like black people because they have "big facial features" is slightly racist lol "

Those the poster has seen do. Like those old dolls.

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By *eal_curves_is_backWoman
over a year ago

London

"If, as general rule, you don't find a particular race or cultures physical characteristics sexually attractive but are open minded to the fact that, one day you might come across someone from that race or culture that you find yourself attracted to... that's a preference.

I prefer apples to oranges but, every now and again, I have myself an orange!

To have a complete blanket ban against a certain race or culture is an exclusion not a preference!

It would be nice if we all got on and liked one another but the truth is we don't.

It's the people that won't break bread with you because of your race or culture that I worry more about."

I am allergic to strawberries. I never have strawberries.

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By *ubiousOatcakeMan
over a year ago

Aberdeenshire

"Some of you should really go an do your homework an read up on sexual attraction! It’s nothing to do with how you was raised. And it’s nothing to do with racism!

It’s who you are. There is only 10% of people who are attracted to any race most have a inbuilt preference.

I don’t see why we need so many threads on this topic. "

I don’t know why we need so many threads. It’s maybe because people who demonstrate in what they write that they have never read or understood a word about social conditioning or psychology in their lives come in and tell those of us who have that we ‘need to do our homework’.

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By *ubiousOatcakeMan
over a year ago

Aberdeenshire

"So what is not being attracted to me because I use a wheelchair?"
Ableism. (And, by extension, stupid.)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I prefer apples to oranges but, every now and again, I have myself an orange!

To have a complete blanket ban against a certain race or culture is an exclusion not a preference!

It would be nice if we all got on and liked one another but the truth is we don't.

It's the people that won't break bread with you because of your race or culture that I worry more about."

Very well written

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a preference for not having a preference for people who state their “preference” in a completely bigoted way

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