Join us FREE, we're FREE to use
Web's largest swingers site since 2006.
Already registered?
Login here
Join us FREE, we're FREE to use
Web's largest swingers site since 2006.
Already registered?
Login here
 | Back to forum list |
| Back to Swingers Chat |
| Jump to newest |  |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Hey all, after chatting with a friend she has spoken about a girl friend experience for an evening. Mine opinion was totally different to hers. So if I was to say I’m offering a boyfriend experience for an evening, what would you expect, like what kinda night? Seriously thinking no one would have the same thoughts from mine and her contrast of opinion lol " Leave her watching eastenders and go to the pub with your mates?  | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Hey all, after chatting with a friend she has spoken about a girl friend experience for an evening. Mine opinion was totally different to hers. So if I was to say I’m offering a boyfriend experience for an evening, what would you expect, like what kinda night? Seriously thinking no one would have the same thoughts from mine and her contrast of opinion lol Leave her watching eastenders and go to the pub with your mates? " | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
 | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"That’s a married experience pal not gf lol "Seriously funny | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Ooh ooh.... it's watching her fuck other guys right? I mean we are swinging so the whole concept involves swapping partners... If you want to experience being her boyfriend then... you are obviously sharing her? " Think that's classed as hot wife or cuckolding. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
 Definitely enjoy both! | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
  | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Hey all, after chatting with a friend she has spoken about a girl friend experience for an evening. Mine opinion was totally different to hers. So if I was to say I’m offering a boyfriend experience for an evening, what would you expect, like what kinda night? Seriously thinking no one would have the same thoughts from mine and her contrast of opinion lol " Sounds like you’ll be paying for it | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"It's giving them attention, cuddles, strokes, back tickles, massages etc, bit neck on etc .. ladies I'm available and good at it! "Oh dear  | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Ooh ooh.... it's watching her fuck other guys right? I mean we are swinging so the whole concept involves swapping partners... If you want to experience being her boyfriend then... you are obviously sharing her? Think that's classed as hot wife or cuckolding." No... You get to touch too.. "swapping partners" "sharing her"... the point I'm making is bf gf makes you a couple and swinging couples clearly have a different perspective on traditional "experiences"... I obviously understand what is meant by a bf experience (traditionally... a vanilla date and nice sex, I would venture). I was drawing attention to the fact most single men don't get swinging dynamics... I wouldn't expect the concept of sharing your gf to be alien on a swinging site. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Since others have described my approach as the boyfriend experience, this seems like the perfect opportunity to describe what I do. It's really all about two realisations; that the most erotic organ in the female body is the mind; and that what most women fantasise about is a delicious connection that leads to passionate hot sex. These things being the goal, the point is to be genuinely gentlemanly and charming. Write her truly attractive messages. Be kind and generous. Be romantic. Wine her and dine her. Write and tell her beautiful things. Perhaps even poems if she seems like she'd like that. Try and keep it all real. This isn't a game full of tricks you learnt from a book just to get in her knickers. You don't need to tell porkies like she's the love of your life or you want to elope with her. Just be amorous and emotionally open to her. And respect her. Make her feel special. Like she's the center of your universe at that moment. In short, instead of focusing on her clitoris with myopic male precision, take in the whole web of female eroticism that genuinely leads women to want a man inside her. That's what boyfriends do. And even if it's only for one meet that's what the boyfriend experience should be "What are you on about dude lol, you sound a bit scary | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Hey all, after chatting with a friend she has spoken about a girl friend experience for an evening. Mine opinion was totally different to hers. So if I was to say I’m offering a boyfriend experience for an evening, what would you expect, like what kinda night? Seriously thinking no one would have the same thoughts from mine and her contrast of opinion lol Sounds like you’ll be paying for it" So bf experience also sounds like I’m offering services?? | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"What are you on about dude lol, you sound a bit scary "Errr okay  I'm pretty sure you're incapable of offering the boyfriend experience then mate Maybe just stick to shagging | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Since others have described my approach as the boyfriend experience, this seems like the perfect opportunity to describe what I do. It's really all about two realisations; that the most erotic organ in the female body is the mind; and that what most women fantasise about is a delicious connection that leads to passionate hot sex. These things being the goal, the point is to be genuinely gentlemanly and charming. Write her truly attractive messages. Be kind and generous. Be romantic. Wine her and dine her. Write and tell her beautiful things. Perhaps even poems if she seems like she'd like that. Try and keep it all real. This isn't a game full of tricks you learnt from a book just to get in her knickers. You don't need to tell porkies like she's the love of your life or you want to elope with her. Just be amorous and emotionally open to her. And respect her. Make her feel special. Like she's the center of your universe at that moment. In short, instead of focusing on her clitoris with myopic male precision, take in the whole web of female eroticism that genuinely leads women to want a man inside her. That's what boyfriends do. And even if it's only for one meet that's what the boyfriend experience should be
What are you on about dude lol, you sound a bit scary "No, he is spot on. I wish more men were like him. It’s all about getting into a woman’s mind and giving her what she wants before she even knows it herself. Maybe that’s just the sapio in me wanting exactly this. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"What are you on about dude lol, you sound a bit scary
Errr okay I'm pretty sure you're incapable of offering the boyfriend experience then mate Maybe just stick to shagging "It’s what separates the boys from the men. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Since others have described my approach as the boyfriend experience, this seems like the perfect opportunity to describe what I do. It's really all about two realisations; that the most erotic organ in the female body is the mind; and that what most women fantasise about is a delicious connection that leads to passionate hot sex. These things being the goal, the point is to be genuinely gentlemanly and charming. Write her truly attractive messages. Be kind and generous. Be romantic. Wine her and dine her. Write and tell her beautiful things. Perhaps even poems if she seems like she'd like that. Try and keep it all real. This isn't a game full of tricks you learnt from a book just to get in her knickers. You don't need to tell porkies like she's the love of your life or you want to elope with her. Just be amorous and emotionally open to her. And respect her. Make her feel special. Like she's the center of your universe at that moment. In short, instead of focusing on her clitoris with myopic male precision, take in the whole web of female eroticism that genuinely leads women to want a man inside her. That's what boyfriends do. And even if it's only for one meet that's what the boyfriend experience should be
What are you on about dude lol, you sound a bit scary
No, he is spot on. I wish more men were like him. It’s all about getting into a woman’s mind and giving her what she wants before she even knows it herself. Maybe that’s just the sapio in me wanting exactly this. " | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Since others have described my approach as the boyfriend experience, this seems like the perfect opportunity to describe what I do. It's really all about two realisations; that the most erotic organ in the female body is the mind; and that what most women fantasise about is a delicious connection that leads to passionate hot sex. These things being the goal, the point is to be genuinely gentlemanly and charming. Write her truly attractive messages. Be kind and generous. Be romantic. Wine her and dine her. Write and tell her beautiful things. Perhaps even poems if she seems like she'd like that. Try and keep it all real. This isn't a game full of tricks you learnt from a book just to get in her knickers. You don't need to tell porkies like she's the love of your life or you want to elope with her. Just be amorous and emotionally open to her. And respect her. Make her feel special. Like she's the center of your universe at that moment. In short, instead of focusing on her clitoris with myopic male precision, take in the whole web of female eroticism that genuinely leads women to want a man inside her. That's what boyfriends do. And even if it's only for one meet that's what the boyfriend experience should be
What are you on about dude lol, you sound a bit scary
No, he is spot on. I wish more men were like him. It’s all about getting into a woman’s mind and giving her what she wants before she even knows it herself. Maybe that’s just the sapio in me wanting exactly this.
"I stand corrected then, I figured going over the top and serenading was boarder line crazy but I am single I guess lol | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Since others have described my approach as the boyfriend experience, this seems like the perfect opportunity to describe what I do. It's really all about two realisations; that the most erotic organ in the female body is the mind; and that what most women fantasise about is a delicious connection that leads to passionate hot sex. These things being the goal, the point is to be genuinely gentlemanly and charming. Write her truly attractive messages. Be kind and generous. Be romantic. Wine her and dine her. Write and tell her beautiful things. Perhaps even poems if she seems like she'd like that. Try and keep it all real. This isn't a game full of tricks you learnt from a book just to get in her knickers. You don't need to tell porkies like she's the love of your life or you want to elope with her. Just be amorous and emotionally open to her. And respect her. Make her feel special. Like she's the center of your universe at that moment. In short, instead of focusing on her clitoris with myopic male precision, take in the whole web of female eroticism that genuinely leads women to want a man inside her. That's what boyfriends do. And even if it's only for one meet that's what the boyfriend experience should be
What are you on about dude lol, you sound a bit scary
No, he is spot on. I wish more men were like him. It’s all about getting into a woman’s mind and giving her what she wants before she even knows it herself. Maybe that’s just the sapio in me wanting exactly this.
I stand corrected then, I figured going over the top and serenading was boarder line crazy but I am single I guess lol "I don’t need to be serenaded, I actually like quite simple things but reading erotic poetry together, sipping gin can be very nice | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I love the intense connections but my other boyfriend experience would be to visit a swinging club together and enjoy the evening watching and being watched. "Agreed! I miss that | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I love the intense connections but my other boyfriend experience would be to visit a swinging club together and enjoy the evening watching and being watched.
Agreed! I miss that "I hope to have that again, the search continues slowly. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I think it's just the nature of writing this stuff on an nsa sex site that I end up coming across as either super intense, down on one knee, singing love songs all the time or some plonker tricking women into believing I'm in love with them. I'm neither of these things. I keep things real and don't play tricks. I'm honest and don't lead people on. I'm happy to be silly and fun and light like the next person. But if there's a connection then I'm happy to focus on one woman and give her special attention rather than keep checking Fab to see what the other options are. Why? Because I'm the same. Great sex for me has that connection, it involves her wanting *me* inside her, not just a big cock. She can get that from a dildo "Hahaha yup I get that. Anyone can shove a dildo in and ride like a maniac. When you can be arsed with the person attached to the riding it is different | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Different strokes for different folks. I personally would not be open to being wined and dined as part of an “experience” or have poems and stuff. That’s just leading folk on and giving a false impression of your true feelings. This is why there are so many “but I thought he really liked me!!” type threads on Fab! A boyfriend experience to me would be a smooch, a cuddle, a foot rub, some hot sex and an arguement over control of the Sky remote." Its my remote lol xx | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Since others have described my approach as the boyfriend experience, this seems like the perfect opportunity to describe what I do. It's really all about two realisations; that the most erotic organ in the female body is the mind; and that what most women fantasise about is a delicious connection that leads to passionate hot sex. These things being the goal, the point is to be genuinely gentlemanly and charming. Write her truly attractive messages. Be kind and generous. Be romantic. Wine her and dine her. Write and tell her beautiful things. Perhaps even poems if she seems like she'd like that. Try and keep it all real. This isn't a game full of tricks you learnt from a book just to get in her knickers. You don't need to tell porkies like she's the love of your life or you want to elope with her. Just be amorous and emotionally open to her. And respect her. Make her feel special. Like she's the center of your universe at that moment. In short, instead of focusing on her clitoris with myopic male precision, take in the whole web of female eroticism that genuinely leads women to want a man inside her. That's what boyfriends do. And even if it's only for one meet that's what the boyfriend experience should be "I’d like this too boyfriend stuff without all the crap that goes with it! | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
 .
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"The girlfriend experrience is something that higher class call girls have dreamt up to stop the punter thinking that he is actually going to be fucking for the whole hour .
"How jaded an opinion ..... I'm certainly no call girl but cba with a permanent pain in the ass and get nothing from fuck and go | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Since others have described my approach as the boyfriend experience, this seems like the perfect opportunity to describe what I do. It's really all about two realisations; that the most erotic organ in the female body is the mind; and that what most women fantasise about is a delicious connection that leads to passionate hot sex. These things being the goal, the point is to be genuinely gentlemanly and charming. Write her truly attractive messages. Be kind and generous. Be romantic. Wine her and dine her. Write and tell her beautiful things. Perhaps even poems if she seems like she'd like that. Try and keep it all real. This isn't a game full of tricks you learnt from a book just to get in her knickers. You don't need to tell porkies like she's the love of your life or you want to elope with her. Just be amorous and emotionally open to her. And respect her. Make her feel special. Like she's the center of your universe at that moment. In short, instead of focusing on her clitoris with myopic male precision, take in the whole web of female eroticism that genuinely leads women to want a man inside her. That's what boyfriends do. And even if it's only for one meet that's what the boyfriend experience should be "This is exactly what I would class as a BF experience and such a shame that more men don't act in this way in the first place | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Since others have described my approach as the boyfriend experience, this seems like the perfect opportunity to describe what I do. It's really all about two realisations; that the most erotic organ in the female body is the mind; and that what most women fantasise about is a delicious connection that leads to passionate hot sex. These things being the goal, the point is to be genuinely gentlemanly and charming. Write her truly attractive messages. Be kind and generous. Be romantic. Wine her and dine her. Write and tell her beautiful things. Perhaps even poems if she seems like she'd like that. Try and keep it all real. This isn't a game full of tricks you learnt from a book just to get in her knickers. You don't need to tell porkies like she's the love of your life or you want to elope with her. Just be amorous and emotionally open to her. And respect her. Make her feel special. Like she's the center of your universe at that moment. In short, instead of focusing on her clitoris with myopic male precision, take in the whole web of female eroticism that genuinely leads women to want a man inside her. That's what boyfriends do. And even if it's only for one meet that's what the boyfriend experience should be
This is exactly what I would class as a BF experience and such a shame that more men don't act in this way in the first place "Not the poems and stuff lol just gentlemanly behaviour is what I am referring to not the current 'do you fancy a shag' mentality most men show on here  | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"The girlfriend experrience is something that higher class call girls have dreamt up to stop the punter thinking that he is actually going to be fucking for the whole hour .
How jaded an opinion ..... I'm certainly no call girl but cba with a permanent pain in the ass and get nothing from fuck and go "Jaded ? Yes maybe but let’s face it if you’re swinging or dating then yes it’s a different thing.
If you are paying for it then again it’s all about the client.
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I think it's just the nature of writing this stuff on an nsa sex site that I end up coming across as either super intense, down on one knee, singing love songs all the time or some plonker tricking women into believing I'm in love with them. I'm neither of these things. I keep things real and don't play tricks. I'm honest and don't lead people on. I'm happy to be silly and fun and light like the next person. But if there's a connection then I'm happy to focus on one woman and give her special attention rather than keep checking Fab to see what the other options are. Why? Because I'm the same. Great sex for me has that connection, it involves her wanting *me* inside her, not just a big cock. She can get that from a dildo "But you did say in another post that you wanted to "pretend to be in love" Which is a tad odd tbh | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Not the poems and stuff lol just gentlemanly behaviour is what I am referring to not the current 'do you fancy a shag' mentality most men show on here "Yeah I'm beginning to think the whole poem thing may be a bit niche haha... that is unless it's "roses are red, violets are blue. I want to cum all over you"
I definitely think there's such a thing as blowing too hot. But it really depends on who you're relating to. Some women love going overboard like some windswept byronic mills and boon. I definitely wouldn't present myself to a woman I hadn't met in that way. But if she started going down that avenue I'm happy to woo her in that way.
I guess this whole thing is about listening | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"But you did say in another post that you wanted to "pretend to be in love" Which is a tad odd tbh" It's a tad odd *for you* sappy. That's because you and I come from diametrically opposed points of view. For me having sex with someone while "pretending it's nothing personal" is a tad odd | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Invariably , the guys from fab just wanted to go off somewhere quiet and get a bj or a knee trembler , and the vanilla guys would woo my wife , often for hours . Lots of touchy feely stuff , laughs , kisses , etc... a bit like the boyfriend / girlfriend thing . This was despite her letting them know she is married and that I was about . So I guess it’s all about the mentality of the people involved , and fab isn’t a great place to find guys offering a boyfriend experience in my opinion ." Agree, and why I haven't had sex in over a year, as I wont just do the knee trembler experience | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Invariably , the guys from fab just wanted to go off somewhere quiet and get a bj or a knee trembler , and the vanilla guys would woo my wife , often for hours . Lots of touchy feely stuff , laughs , kisses , etc... a bit like the boyfriend / girlfriend thing . This was despite her letting them know she is married and that I was about . So I guess it’s all about the mentality of the people involved , and fab isn’t a great place to find guys offering a boyfriend experience in my opinion . Agree, and why I haven't had sex in over a year, as I wont just do the knee trembler experience "I really don’t blame you . It’s not so bad as a couple as the whole experience is vastly different . But I sure as hell wouldn’t swing as a single , it’s so meaningless and hollow after a while . We’ve tried pretty much every scenario anyone could imagine , and one if the hottest meets we have had was a week or so ago with a guy who was a friend of a friend who wouldn’t dream of swinging . The three of us went for a drink in a posh pub , chatted for ages , laughed a lot and all the time he and my wife were flirting and casting those looks at each other . They kissed a few times , mainly when I wasn’t looking , but the whole thing was so horny . Anyway we went off after a couple of hours with him and my wife in the back of the car , and half an hour later I had to pull over as they finished off what had been a very , very hot evening of fun . We way prefer meeting non fab guys now . | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"But you did say in another post that you wanted to "pretend to be in love" Which is a tad odd tbh It's a tad odd *for you* sappy. That's because you and I come from diametrically opposed points of view. For me having sex with someone while "pretending it's nothing personal" is a tad odd "I'm just quoting what you said, my friend As for you and I having opposing views? You know nothing about me. We have never met You are very presumptuous to assume you know what makes me tick | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Invariably , the guys from fab just wanted to go off somewhere quiet and get a bj or a knee trembler , and the vanilla guys would woo my wife , often for hours . Lots of touchy feely stuff , laughs , kisses , etc... a bit like the boyfriend / girlfriend thing . This was despite her letting them know she is married and that I was about . So I guess it’s all about the mentality of the people involved , and fab isn’t a great place to find guys offering a boyfriend experience in my opinion . Agree, and why I haven't had sex in over a year, as I wont just do the knee trembler experience
I really don’t blame you .
It’s not so bad as a couple as the whole experience is vastly different .
But I sure as hell wouldn’t swing as a single , it’s so meaningless and hollow after a while .
We’ve tried pretty much every scenario anyone could imagine , and one if the hottest meets we have had was a week or so ago with a guy who was a friend of a friend who wouldn’t dream of swinging . The three of us went for a drink in a posh pub , chatted for ages , laughed a lot and all the time he and my wife were flirting and casting those looks at each other . They kissed a few times , mainly when I wasn’t looking , but the whole thing was so horny .
Anyway we went off after a couple of hours with him and my wife in the back of the car , and half an hour later I had to pull over as they finished off what had been a very , very hot evening of fun .
We way prefer meeting non fab guys now ."That sounds like a great meet and a variation of what I am looking for, unfortunately after being here for ten years (whilst it was reasonably new) the last 5 have been full of the current fab men state of mind, that I might as well become celibate by choice | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"We way prefer meeting non fab guys now ." Glos as usual you've written some really great posts here. I totally get what you're saying, and in a sense you could say I'm on Fab but totally playing by my own rules, approaching it very much as you've described your vanilla meets. To do it otherwise simply seems like an entirely unworthwhile endeavour. Been there, done that. Despite freaking some people out on here, I'm totally comfortable that I'm approaching it the right way for me. The only negative, if it really is a negative, is that it doesn't really do me any favours on the veris front. For example, the gorgeous woman I met the other day, after a lovely time chatting together, took a long look at me and said "I think I've just found my reason to leave Fab" | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
 | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Since others have described my approach as the boyfriend experience, this seems like the perfect opportunity to describe what I do. It's really all about two realisations; that the most erotic organ in the female body is the mind; and that what most women fantasise about is a delicious connection that leads to passionate hot sex. These things being the goal, the point is to be genuinely gentlemanly and charming. Write her truly attractive messages. Be kind and generous. Be romantic. Wine her and dine her. Write and tell her beautiful things. Perhaps even poems if she seems like she'd like that. Try and keep it all real. This isn't a game full of tricks you learnt from a book just to get in her knickers. You don't need to tell porkies like she's the love of your life or you want to elope with her. Just be amorous and emotionally open to her. And respect her. Make her feel special. Like she's the center of your universe at that moment. In short, instead of focusing on her clitoris with myopic male precision, take in the whole web of female eroticism that genuinely leads women to want a man inside her. That's what boyfriends do. And even if it's only for one meet that's what the boyfriend experience should be
What are you on about dude lol, you sound a bit scary
No, he is spot on. I wish more men were like him. It’s all about getting into a woman’s mind and giving her what she wants before she even knows it herself. Maybe that’s just the sapio in me wanting exactly this. "I would actually call this the seduction experience... and yes I would love for this to happen to me. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I’ve tried to write this out a few times but can’t find the right way to word it without sounding like a nob. As a single person if you found someone you could really open up to and have that connection with why would you want it to just be an experience and not become a full on relationship. " A fair point if both parties are single , but maybe you’re missing the point of swinging ? Lots of people don’t want a relationship , but would like to experience the fun , sex and something a bit more meaningful than a quick shag . | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"As a single person if you found someone you could really open up to and have that connection with why would you want it to just be an experience and not become a full on relationship. " If having a connection with someone you can open up to and, through that, have great sex with is the bar for you then, by all means, go for it. Call me a dreamer but I'm looking for someone exceptional. I'm looking for synergy on a cosmic level. At this point, newly single, I'm quite happy enjoying my newfound freedom. Maybe I'll grow thirsty for a shared life soon. But right now it's going to take an exceptional woman to lure my flying wings into nesting in her heart. In the meantime I'm happy having lovers and seeing what comes of it all. Who knows? Maybe I will find that exceptional woman on here? Life can be surprising that way | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"It's giving them attention, cuddles, strokes, back tickles, massages etc, bit neck on etc .. ladies I'm available and good at it! "Oh really? | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
 and everyone local just seems to want a six pack and a cock... but it's heartening nonetheless | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Thank you ..... | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I’ve tried to write this out a few times but can’t find the right way to word it without sounding like a nob. As a single person if you found someone you could really open up to and have that connection with why would you want it to just be an experience and not become a full on relationship. A fair point if both parties are single , but maybe you’re missing the point of swinging ? Lots of people don’t want a relationship , but would like to experience the fun , sex and something a bit more meaningful than a quick shag ." Exactly | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Not the poems and stuff lol just gentlemanly behaviour is what I am referring to not the current 'do you fancy a shag' mentality most men show on here
Yeah I'm beginning to think the whole poem thing may be a bit niche haha... that is unless it's "roses are red, violets are blue. I want to cum all over you"
I definitely think there's such a thing as blowing too hot. But it really depends on who you're relating to. Some women love going overboard like some windswept byronic mills and boon. I definitely wouldn't present myself to a woman I hadn't met in that way. But if she started going down that avenue I'm happy to woo her in that way.
"Hmm, even so - it is a very dangerous line to tread. Women will often respond to what you do, not what you say, so if you act like a man who's falling for someone, that may be what her heart will 'hear' over the protests of 'Oh no, I'm just pretending'. What was that Bob Marley quote....."The biggest coward is a man who awakens a women's love with no intention of loving her" I would far prefer someone to act with total authenticity. Yes, I love to connect deeply, with intensity, but always, always with honesty. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Not the poems and stuff lol just gentlemanly behaviour is what I am referring to not the current 'do you fancy a shag' mentality most men show on here
Yeah I'm beginning to think the whole poem thing may be a bit niche haha... that is unless it's "roses are red, violets are blue. I want to cum all over you"
I definitely think there's such a thing as blowing too hot. But it really depends on who you're relating to. Some women love going overboard like some windswept byronic mills and boon. I definitely wouldn't present myself to a woman I hadn't met in that way. But if she started going down that avenue I'm happy to woo her in that way.
Hmm, even so - it is a very dangerous line to tread. Women will often respond to what you do, not what you say, so if you act like a man who's falling for someone, that may be what her heart will 'hear' over the protests of 'Oh no, I'm just pretending'.
What was that Bob Marley quote....."The biggest coward is a man who awakens a women's love with no intention of loving her"
I would far prefer someone to act with total authenticity. Yes, I love to connect deeply, with intensity, but always, always with honesty."Yes I agree | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"'Oh no, I'm just pretending'" It's not pretend. That's what it's accused of being. The norms on this site are full of fakery and pretense. Having sex with someone and pretending it's nothing personal. That's pretending. The more seductive approach we've been discussing here is actually a lot more honest and connecting. It's just a different paradigm. Instead of cheeky banter followed by a bit of naughty slap and tickle, culminating in a sexual performance of some sort... this approach involves wooing and seduction, listening and arousing, being beautiful and alluring to each other on more of a mental level, until you're both so flushed with the desire to be entwined in each other that the rest just tumbles out of you. The slap and tickle brigade may look upon this with scepticism "it's pretend" "it's playing with fire" "it's fluffy serenading" "it's a waste of time" "it's a work of immoral trickery". But it's none of these things. It's really just how lovers have always been over the millenia. Not this weirdly detached porn inspired way Fab tells us we all must be today. Yawn. It's no different from the games of swinging. It involves a level of maturity. It's just a different paradigm... and one that appeals to some women, such that they'd be happier going on that ride than the usual nsa ride offered on here. To me it's the only way of swinging that's worth doing. I'm like glos on that front. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Since others have described my approach as the boyfriend experience, this seems like the perfect opportunity to describe what I do. It's really all about two realisations; that the most erotic organ in the female body is the mind; and that what most women fantasise about is a delicious connection that leads to passionate hot sex. These things being the goal, the point is to be genuinely gentlemanly and charming. Write her truly attractive messages. Be kind and generous. Be romantic. Wine her and dine her. Write and tell her beautiful things. Perhaps even poems if she seems like she'd like that. Try and keep it all real. This isn't a game full of tricks you learnt from a book just to get in her knickers. You don't need to tell porkies like she's the love of your life or you want to elope with her. Just be amorous and emotionally open to her. And respect her. Make her feel special. Like she's the center of your universe at that moment. In short, instead of focusing on her clitoris with myopic male precision, take in the whole web of female eroticism that genuinely leads women to want a man inside her. That's what boyfriends do. And even if it's only for one meet that's what the boyfriend experience should be "What he said | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"'Oh no, I'm just pretending' It's not pretend. That's what it's accused of being. The norms on this site are full of fakery and pretense. Having sex with someone and pretending it's nothing personal. That's pretending. The more seductive approach we've been discussing here is actually a lot more honest and connecting. It's just a different paradigm. Instead of cheeky banter followed by a bit of naughty slap and tickle, culminating in a sexual performance of some sort... this approach involves wooing and seduction, listening and arousing, being beautiful and alluring to each other on more of a mental level, until you're both so flushed with the desire to be entwined in each other that the rest just tumbles out of you. The slap and tickle brigade may look upon this with scepticism "it's pretend" "it's playing with fire" "it's fluffy serenading" "it's a waste of time" "it's a work of immoral trickery". But it's none of these things. It's really just how lovers have always been over the millenia. Not this weirdly detached porn inspired way Fab tells us we all must be today. Yawn. It's no different from the games of swinging. It involves a level of maturity. It's just a different paradigm... and one that appeals to some women, such that they'd be happier going on that ride than the usual nsa ride offered on here. To me it's the only way of swinging that's worth doing. I'm like glos on that front. " I would say seduction is fine, woooing is not. I agree with everything you say about the type of play you like (well not poetry, hate poetry) the deep connection, the mental dance..... AND YET, there is something in the way you write which rings alarm bells, my spidey sense starts to twitch, that suggests someone could be deceived, even if that was not your intent. That's all I am saying - be aware, you may be sailing very close to the wind. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I agree with everything you say about the type of play you like (well not poetry, hate poetry) the deep connection, the mental dance..... AND YET, there is something in the way you write which rings alarm bells, my spidey sense starts to twitch, that suggests someone could be deceived, even if that was not your intent." I know what you're saying frisky. I think I'm coming across a bit head strong on here because I'm trying to defend my point of view. I'm not like that at all in real life. I'm relaxed and natural in real life. I've not yet been in a situation where I felt I was deceiving the other person. As yet it's always been very much a dance between two people, both enjoying flirting and seducing each other. If it doesn't feel reciprocal I either retreat or quickly dial it all down. I did enjoy a brief exchange with a woman before I came on Fab in which we both exchanged more and more amorous messages. But her and I agreed that we'd rather fall in love from time to time and endure whatever heartbreak that presented to us than engage in meaningless sex and a safe tepid boring life. In short, we only started blowing hot with each other (in that case most definitely "pretending we were falling in love", hence my remark on an earlier thread) once it was entirely clear we were both cool with that... and, I should add, it was a real buzz
Don't get me wrong... I've made some mistakes. But I've learnt a lot from them. My approach can be a shock to some women on Fab. So I'm learning to slowly warm things up in a more authentic way rather than blow too hot in the early messages. It's new to me too. But I'm enjoying learning as I go. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I only ever go as far as I sense the other person wants me to go. The minute I sense any trepidation I pull back. The whole point is precisely that they genuinely want to fuck me... not that I've somehow hypnotised them against their will into wanting that "No, I am not suggesting that. I am just aware that women are sometimes misled by such behaviour, you see their threads on the forums all the time. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"'Oh no, I'm just pretending' It's not pretend. That's what it's accused of being. The norms on this site are full of fakery and pretense. Having sex with someone and pretending it's nothing personal. That's pretending. The more seductive approach we've been discussing here is actually a lot more honest and connecting. It's just a different paradigm. Instead of cheeky banter followed by a bit of naughty slap and tickle, culminating in a sexual performance of some sort... this approach involves wooing and seduction, listening and arousing, being beautiful and alluring to each other on more of a mental level, until you're both so flushed with the desire to be entwined in each other that the rest just tumbles out of you. The slap and tickle brigade may look upon this with scepticism "it's pretend" "it's playing with fire" "it's fluffy serenading" "it's a waste of time" "it's a work of immoral trickery". But it's none of these things. It's really just how lovers have always been over the millenia. Not this weirdly detached porn inspired way Fab tells us we all must be today. Yawn. It's no different from the games of swinging. It involves a level of maturity. It's just a different paradigm... and one that appeals to some women, such that they'd be happier going on that ride than the usual nsa ride offered on here. To me it's the only way of swinging that's worth doing. I'm like glos on that front. I would say seduction is fine, woooing is not. I agree with everything you say about the type of play you like (well not poetry, hate poetry) the deep connection, the mental dance..... AND YET, there is something in the way you write which rings alarm bells, my spidey sense starts to twitch, that suggests someone could be deceived, even if that was not your intent. That's all I am saying - be aware, you may be sailing very close to the wind." Look up ‘Michael faudet’ He writes erotic poetry, most are very short and to the point and very naughty. The book ‘dirty pretty things’ is an interesting read. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I only ever go as far as I sense the other person wants me to go. The minute I sense any trepidation I pull back. The whole point is precisely that they genuinely want to fuck me... not that I've somehow hypnotised them against their will into wanting that
No, I am not suggesting that. I am just aware that women are sometimes misled by such behaviour, you see their threads on the forums all the time."I think those threads are more about guys who tell porkies, claim they're going to leave their wives or run off into the sunset with them or that they've got deep feelings for them when really they're just unfeeling unkind unethical idiots who are just manipulating women to get in their knickers. I can see how those guys could be confused with a "boyfriend experience". But they're really just machiavellian sh*ts. I'm talking about a situation where I do have some feelings and I do care and I'm genuine... but I'm happy to keep it just as lovers and not go full bunny boiler on them and want to move in with them and get hitched | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I only ever go as far as I sense the other person wants me to go. The minute I sense any trepidation I pull back. The whole point is precisely that they genuinely want to fuck me... not that I've somehow hypnotised them against their will into wanting that
No, I am not suggesting that. I am just aware that women are sometimes misled by such behaviour, you see their threads on the forums all the time.
I think those threads are more about guys who tell porkies, claim they're going to leave their wives or run off into the sunset with them or that they've got deep feelings for them when really they're just unfeeling unkind unethical idiots who are just manipulating women to get in their knickers. I can see how those guys could be confused with a "boyfriend experience". But they're really just machiavellian sh*ts.
I'm talking about a situation where I do have some feelings and I do care and I'm genuine... but I'm happy to keep it just as lovers and not go full bunny boiler on them and want to move in with them and get hitched "I had that with my old fwb, he was French and my experience with the French is that they love romance but also filth. It’s a great balance and once you get used to it, it’s a wonderful experience. Telling you how nice beautiful you look one second, stroking your hair and then having you bent over rimming you the next. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I had that with my old fwb, he was French and my experience with the French is that they love romance but also filth. It’s a great balance and once you get used to it, it’s a wonderful experience. Telling you how nice beautiful you look one second, stroking your hair and then having you bent over rimming you the next. "That's exactly it!  | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I had that with my old fwb, he was French and my experience with the French is that they love romance but also filth. It’s a great balance and once you get used to it, it’s a wonderful experience. Telling you how nice beautiful you look one second, stroking your hair and then having you bent over rimming you the next.
That's exactly it! "Ditto | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"That’s a married experience pal not gf lol "Haha. Classic. Thought it was corrie? | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| Post new Message to Thread |
| back to top |  |
