FabSwingers.com forum: cpls who canttake a rejection!!

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Why oh why are people so sensitive here on the site... I sent a very polite email to a couple explaining they weren't the right ppl for us to meet and explained the reasons why in full...

Only to receive a nasty reply back from the wife with her own opinion of why i didn't want to meet them!!

She then blocked me before i could respond grrrrrr!!!! Surely people should understand that just because we are all swingers, does not guarantee them a meet... lighten up sensitive ppl!

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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

Yes unfortunately some people don't take rejection very well. Which is a shame as it happens to us all.....

Maybe in future you might be better off just leaving it at something like 'Sorry but we don't think your for us' rather than explaining in full the reasons why.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personallythink that a straight forward "no you aren't our type" is more appropriate than a full explanation which may have read like an attack.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Personallythink that a straight forward "no you aren't our type" is more appropriate than a full explanation which may have read like an attack."

Dammed if you do dammed if you dont

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

"Personallythink that a straight forward "no you aren't our type" is more appropriate than a full explanation which may have read like an attack."

I agree with this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People should just let it drop.

It's no different to being, say in a club/pub, and chatting a person up then they go to the loo and you never see them again!!

Get real, if they don't fancy you, move on!!

It's a swingers site for people who like the look of the couple they want to take things further with, or not!

If they can't take it and get abusive then we see that as a lucky escape!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

next time just tell them to fuck off.

its easier

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

explaining in full is the problem... its way too inflammatory.

a straightforward no is far easier than showing someone their own shortcomings...

Wolf

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why oh why are people so sensitive here on the site... I sent a very polite email to a couple explaining they weren't the right ppl for us to meet and explained the reasons why in full...

Only to receive a nasty reply back from the wife with her own opinion of why i didn't want to meet them!!

She then blocked me before i could respond grrrrrr!!!! Surely people should understand that just because we are all swingers, does not guarantee them a meet... lighten up sensitive ppl!

Dont explain yourself just say thanks but no thanks and move on, in fact if there really not for you and your not ever going to see them again 'press that block button' first

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why oh why are people so sensitive here on the site... I sent a very polite email to a couple explaining they weren't the right ppl for us to meet and explained the reasons why in full...

Only to receive a nasty reply back from the wife with her own opinion of why i didn't want to meet them!!

She then blocked me before i could respond grrrrrr!!!! Surely people should understand that just because we are all swingers, does not guarantee them a meet... lighten up sensitive ppl!

If they are offensive then report them. Otherwise smile as they are frustrated at your rejection and use that thought to provide yourself with inner satisfaction.

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By *ngie-babyWoman
over a year ago

huntingdonish

hee hee ..... open up another account (free one) in a different name .... then find their profile, tell em what you think, then blocck em lol

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By *oe_Steve_NWestCouple
over a year ago

Bolton

I wouldn't bother - they've blocked you - so what - you'd already told them you didn't want to meet them! I don't think that a full explanation is totally justified, unless on a few occasions we've sent a nice thanks but no thanks message and got one back saying 'why not?' - then they've got the full explanation! Z

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i never tell people why i dont want to meet them

i just send a polite thanks but no thanks i really dont think you need to do into details why

What i do hate tho is when they reply back with why? lol

does it matter?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You only have to read the "why do..." threads to see where some couples are coming from. They honestly cannot understand why people are not beating a path to their door and start arsey threads about other people's preferences.

The amusing thing is that some of the people on this thread saying you should tell them to do one are also on other threads telling the OP that people are wrong with their preferences as they would do them...

I'd laugh if it wasn't so...what's the word?!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Personallythink that a straight forward "no you aren't our type" is more appropriate than a full explanation which may have read like an attack."

Nods in agreement.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Personallythink that a straight forward "no you aren't our type" is more appropriate than a full explanation which may have read like an attack.

Nods in agreement."

whywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhy?-whats wrong with me???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A full blown explanation seems very unatural..

Would I expect to come across that in a real life situation ?

Wouldn`t think so..it would come across as aggressive and churlish...

A " thanks but no thanks, hope you find fun " helps keep things sweet..and is assertive enough..

I wouldn`t ever explain or justify...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Personallythink that a straight forward "no you aren't our type" is more appropriate than a full explanation which may have read like an attack.

Nods in agreement.

your scottish

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By *ittlemorespiceCouple
over a year ago

North Cornwall

"You only have to read the "why do..." threads to see where some couples are coming from. They honestly cannot understand why people are not beating a path to their door and start arsey threads about other people's preferences.

I'd laugh if it wasn't so...what's the word?!!

sad?

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By *ittlemorespiceCouple
over a year ago

North Cornwall

Guys have a habit of immediately asking why? Whats wrong with me? I dont understand that either. You can bet whatever you say however you say it, it will be granted a venormous reply and a block. Now when they ask I just block. Seems easier in the long run. Sure they can work it out for themselves. lol

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By *incscpleCouple
over a year ago

boston

we have been told on occassions were not what there looking for so what you cant like everyone just take it on the chin and move on lifes too short

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Personallythink that a straight forward "no you aren't our type" is more appropriate than a full explanation which may have read like an attack.

Nods in agreement.

your scottish

wasnt interested in U in the first place

my pants rise with my lies

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In all truth...I can`t fer the life of me understand, which planet some people have been living on...

How the fuck some people negoitated the emotional roller coaster of adolescent dating , without learning the facts of life, amazes me ...

Its so childish...do some people behave like immature dolts in real life, or do they somehow change when they are on sites like this...it seems very surreal to me...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

its because my cock is too big isnt it? its ok..i understand

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"its because my cock is too big isnt it? its ok..i understand"

hahaha..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have had the same got a message off a cpl and replied with a short message, (thanks for the email but you are not for us, happy swinging). They sent us a really nasty message back and blocked us. There are some strange folk out there

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Someone feeling angry and sensitive....starts a thread about others who can`t take rejection and who are sensitive...

Is it me......

I`m gona start dribbling soon....its ...its....to much....lol...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Personallythink that a straight forward "no you aren't our type" is more appropriate than a full explanation which may have read like an attack.

Nods in agreement.

your scottish

...called Paddy!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In all truth...I can`t fer the life of me understand, which planet some people have been living on...

How the fuck some people negoitated the emotional roller coaster of adolescent dating , without learning the facts of life, amazes me ...

Its so childish...do some people behave like immature dolts in real life, or do they somehow change when they are on sites like this...it seems very surreal to me..."

I think there are some that really rate themselves - and they are really amazed that people turn them down, especially if the person they approach is not the type they would off this site.

These same people then start threads about other peoples preferences, which is really a thinly disguised "look at me", in the vain hope of getting their fragile egos massaged.

I've lost count of the number of such like I've read over the last few days. There seems to be a rise in very needy, people...or is it just me that's noticed?!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In all truth...I can`t fer the life of me understand, which planet some people have been living on...

How the fuck some people negoitated the emotional roller coaster of adolescent dating , without learning the facts of life, amazes me ...

Its so childish...do some people behave like immature dolts in real life, or do they somehow change when they are on sites like this...it seems very surreal to me...

I think there are some that really rate themselves - and they are really amazed that people turn them down, especially if the person they approach is not the type they would off this site.

These same people then start threads about other peoples preferences, which is really a thinly disguised "look at me", in the vain hope of getting their fragile egos massaged.

I've lost count of the number of such like I've read over the last few days. There seems to be a rise in very needy, people...or is it just me that's noticed?!!

Not just you Sassy..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd laugh if it wasn't so...what's the word?!! o-

Agree totally. Too many people on here just agree with whatever direction a thread goes in because they are so scared ofputting off a potential meet by having a differing opinion. Very shallow.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well I have only been back a short while this time, but have been a member here before and I would say my experience this time round has been much nicer.

A lot less hassle and very little abuse, however I also have learnt a lot of valuable things over the years of play that helps.

The big one for me is to make sure my profile is as honest as it can be - as I am both playing without my husband being aware and a BBW - two things that can be offensive to people. I make sure It is right up front for people to see and I make sure I read every word of those I look at to make sure there are no major clashes first. People take the time to write a profile and it should be read.

But, if someone says no we are all adults and should act like it and treat everyone with some respect until they prove they don't deserve it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As morrissey says "rejection is one thing but rejection from a fool is cruel"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Personallythink that a straight forward "no you aren't our type" is more appropriate than a full explanation which may have read like an attack.

Nods in agreement.

cos......you're nuttier than squirrel shit wee man?

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham

They should not have been rude,but explaining in full why you did not want to meet them seems the worst form of passive aggression and may have been perceived as a attack by them..

Next time a thanks but no thanks is enough.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

More than likely its not the rejection for the potential meet that has got their back up, its the 'explanation in full' that has, and let's face it there was no need for it. Of course the reply back probably told the OP where to go in no uncertain terms and cos the OP can't respond to that, because a blocks in place, they feel the need to start a thread about it.

None of us like rejection but if you can do this in an assertive rather than aggressive or condescending way, then both parties feel ok and you have a win win situation and everyone would live happy ever after.

Be bloody boring on here then though wouldn't it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm wodering if perhaps the OP could be being a bit sensitive as well.

Just let wash over you for heavens sake - it's not the end of the world

Is it ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've sent short thanks but no thanks messages and slightly longer ones, I even used to respond to 'why?' ones, the response is the same.

I used to hate blocking people, it felt, to me rude, however I have had to get over that.

Sometimes a no, however it is dressed up doesnt go down well, I even used to reply to the messages that clearly hadnt read my profile, not so much anymore. Now those that just email for the sake of it just get deleted.

Chalk it as 'history' forget and move on

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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago

Cyprus

"In all truth...I can`t fer the life of me understand, which planet some people have been living on...

How the fuck some people negoitated the emotional roller coaster of adolescent dating , without learning the facts of life, amazes me ...

Its so childish...do some people behave like immature dolts in real life, or do they somehow change when they are on sites like this...it seems very surreal to me...

I think there are some that really rate themselves - and they are really amazed that people turn them down, especially if the person they approach is not the type they would off this site.

These same people then start threads about other peoples preferences, which is really a thinly disguised "look at me", in the vain hope of getting their fragile egos massaged.

I've lost count of the number of such like I've read over the last few days. There seems to be a rise in very needy, people...or is it just me that's noticed?!!

I've never understood the need to come on the forums and whinge that someone has been 'nasty' because they've been 'rejected'

Is this a 'touche' way of getting their own back on them there nasty people?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd laugh if it wasn't so...what's the word?!!

Hypocritical??

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

block n delete springs to mind

total compatibility with everyone and a guarantee you will have the best sex with everyone you want to is not written into the opening page of the site as i recall

if you cant take a joke you should'nt have joined (or a polite no thanks)

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By *andACouple
over a year ago

glasgow

We've never had any problems till recently when a couple started sending messages questioning our response that we were only meeting friends at the moment. They were incredibly boring and annoying about the whole thing.

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By *ittlemorespiceCouple
over a year ago

North Cornwall

"its because my cock is too big isnt it? its ok..i understand"

Hilarious...I might use that one.

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By *ittlemorespiceCouple
over a year ago

North Cornwall

I wrote to brad pitt. Bastard didn't even reply. I wrote back and asked him what was wrong with me? Guess what.....? BASTARD!!!!

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

Crumpet Castle

"People should just let it drop.

It's no different to being, say in a club/pub, and chatting a person up then they go to the loo and you never see them again!!

Get real, if they don't fancy you, move on!!

It's a swingers site for people who like the look of the couple they want to take things further with, or not!

If they can't take it and get abusive then we see that as a lucky escape!!!"

I disagree. Meeting face to face it totally different.

No one is EVER going to give you a full and frank explanation of why they don't want to play with you.

That kind of tactless , blunt and unecessary reply is usually done from the safety of the internet.

Usually these type of threads are started by people who have been blocked. They are outletting to the forum cos they can't to the person that they outletted previously and ended up getting blocked.

Though I do agree that each party should just move on.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

Crumpet Castle

"I wrote to brad pitt. Bastard didn't even reply. I wrote back and asked him what was wrong with me? Guess what.....? BASTARD!!!! "

He still writes to me.

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By *ittlemorespiceCouple
over a year ago

North Cornwall

"I wrote to brad pitt. Bastard didn't even reply. I wrote back and asked him what was wrong with me? Guess what.....? BASTARD!!!!

He still writes to me. "

B A S T A R D !!! Oops, a little spit came out then

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not our cup of tea" or "Not what we are lookin for thanks" pretty much does it, if that brings on a persisstant ask of why etc, then they really were not,confirms it type thing.

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

well i suppose it makes a difference from the usual "why can't single guys take rejection" thread.....

isn't the real answer though "same shit, different story....."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"well i suppose it makes a difference from the usual "why can't single guys take rejection" thread.....

isn't the real answer though "same shit, different story.....""

Of course it is lol...thats why i'm intending to break down these barriers where cpls single females think they are the only ones allowed to complain about single men and no reversal lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We've been turned down more times than a pair of secondhand trousers but we've never felt the desire to write back to them.

We have had the last laugh on a few occaisions too when we've met them at a party and they decide that we look better than our pics and actually do want to play with us.

Tough titty, lol, we don't go back

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By *ittlemorespiceCouple
over a year ago

North Cornwall

"We've been turned down more times than a pair of secondhand trousers but we've never felt the desire to write back to them.

We have had the last laugh on a few occaisions too when we've met them at a party and they decide that we look better than our pics and actually do want to play with us.

Tough titty, lol, we don't go back

Ok Jack.... I wont beg again I promise

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By *abe1200Couple
over a year ago

belfast

just a polite no thanx doest it for us.Not even expecting reason why

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"People should just let it drop.

It's no different to being, say in a club/pub, and chatting a person up then they go to the loo and you never see them again!!

Get real, if they don't fancy you, move on!!

It's a swingers site for people who like the look of the couple they want to take things further with, or not!

If they can't take it and get abusive then we see that as a lucky escape!!!"

Couldn't agree more!!

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