FabSwingers.com forum: Profile text that turns you off

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So you get a wink and you look at the pictures and they look great and you think your luck is in. The sails of your hope are filled with the wind of expectation. So you turn to read the text only to be wrecked upon the rocks of disappointment. so the question is...what sort of things make you wince.

Here's our starter for ten.. HUGE LISTS IN CAPITALS ABOUT WHAT WE WONT DO - DON'T ASK IMMEDIATE BLOCK

over to you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We don't bite ......Much

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Negativity and institution warnings

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Same, huge blocks of you will be blocked if you do X Y Z

some couples really think they are something special. Appreciate you need to set out what you are looking for but must be a limit without turning it into a dictatorship lol

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By *auren001Woman
over a year ago

birmingham

Quote “I like rainbows” in your message title so we know you’ve read our profile

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

bi couples profiles with only pics of ladies

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Quote “I like rainbows” in your message title so we know you’ve read our profile "

Hahaha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No Single Men.

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London

You click on a guys pics and 80% are of his cock...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

“Must have face pics in profile” when they don’t have any pictures in theirs to start with.

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By *09309309Woman
over a year ago

Dublin

Quality over quantity.

I don't bite, unless you want me to.

Not here to shag the whole site.

No time wasters.

I'll fill this out later.

I'm an open book! Just ask.

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

"Negativity and institution warnings

Yes I never tell anyone I've been in an institution, ha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

420 friendly

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By *ornylittlesubWoman
over a year ago

Grangemouth

Profiles that are 278 paragraphs long.

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By *ynecplCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

A profile that list all the negatives and doesn't actually tell us what they actually looking for. Especially if it is written in capitals.

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London

"420 friendly"

Yes.

Also. "we are a couple very much in love" means at least one of us is psychotically jealous and will kick off if my partner seems too into anyone else.

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By *09309309Woman
over a year ago

Dublin

"420 friendly

Yes.

Also. "we are a couple very much in love" means at least one of us is psychotically jealous and will kick off if my partner seems too into anyone else. "

Hahaha, I'm dying laughing over here

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By *orksCouple25Couple
over a year ago

Leeds

[Removed by poster at 11/03/18 19:15:56]

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By *orksCouple25Couple
over a year ago

Leeds

‘Male has permission to play alone’ ( wife hasn’t a clue)

‘Only use kik’ (wife/hubby hasn’t a clue)

‘Nervous newbie couple’ (wife hasn’t a clue)

‘ separate room only’ (we get jealous watching each other with someone else)

‘Same room only’ (we get jealous if we can’t see exactly what our partner is doing )

‘Considerate smokers’ ( we will go stand in your garden to have a fag and that will stop our mouths smelling like old ashtrays’

‘420 friendly’ ( just warning you we will be reeking of )

‘Only ever meet in Clubs ‘ ( hubby a cuck who prefers to just watch the action )

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Profiles with only a couple of words

Like....

Looking for fun....

Ask me.....

Will fill in later...

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By *queekyCheesyCouple
over a year ago

Maidstone

"Get at me"

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

Cum this and cum that.

Lots of Mmmmmmmms

Try me

Oh god there's so many!!!!

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London

"‘Male has permission to play alone’ ( wife hasn’t a clue)

‘Only use kik’ (wife/hubby hasn’t a clue)

‘Nervous newbie couple’ (wife hasn’t a clue)

‘ separate room only’ (we get jealous watching each other with someone else)

‘Same room only’ (we get jealous if we can’t see exactly what our partner is doing )

‘Considerate smokers’ ( we will go stand in your garden to have a fag and that will stop our mouths smelling like old ashtrays’

‘420 friendly’ ( just warning you we will be reeking of )

‘Only ever meet in Clubs ‘ ( hubby a cuck who prefers to just watch the action )

And "discretion essential" (partner hasn't a clue and will only meet at yours during the hours of darkness)

"can't post pics due to my work" (partner hasn't a clue)

"can't accommodate as family often visits unexpectedly" (partner hasn't a clue)

(on a couples profile) "female not playing at the moment but male has permission to play" (partner hasn't a clue)

(also on a couple profile) "I'm the female and it really turns me on to find girls to fuck hubby" (I'm the male and my partner hasn't a clue)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's the lists of Sony's that are endless that bore me. Usually these people are all about what they don't want and tell nothing about the person(s).

Surely these profiles are about introductions and first impressions?

Oh.... and those "Sydney university" messages..... instant pass.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The ranters

Why do people not reply when I send a message?!!

Will only meet guys that are between the ages of 35 and 36

The checklisters

Do not send get in touch if you...and then list 25 things which you have to match

????

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By *ilk_TreMan
over a year ago

Wherever the party is!

"‘Male has permission to play alone’ ( wife hasn’t a clue)

‘Only use kik’ (wife/hubby hasn’t a clue)

‘Nervous newbie couple’ (wife hasn’t a clue)

‘ separate room only’ (we get jealous watching each other with someone else)

‘Same room only’ (we get jealous if we can’t see exactly what our partner is doing )

‘Considerate smokers’ ( we will go stand in your garden to have a fag and that will stop our mouths smelling like old ashtrays’

‘420 friendly’ ( just warning you we will be reeking of )

‘Only ever meet in Clubs ‘ ( hubby a cuck who prefers to just watch the action )

And "discretion essential" (partner hasn't a clue and will only meet at yours during the hours of darkness)

"can't post pics due to my work" (partner hasn't a clue)

"can't accommodate as family often visits unexpectedly" (partner hasn't a clue)

(on a couples profile) "female not playing at the moment but male has permission to play" (partner hasn't a clue)

(also on a couple profile) "I'm the female and it really turns me on to find girls to fuck hubby" (I'm the male and my partner hasn't a clue) "

Brilliant!

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By *ilk_TreMan
over a year ago

Wherever the party is!

Anyone with the Sydney University boilerplate c+p is basically saying that they lack independent thought and/or imagination. Personally, that doesn't say to me that we're going to have an interesting and/or fun play time.

The worst offenders the ones that include stuff about Facebook being a public listed company!

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By *ficouldMan
over a year ago

a quandary, could you change my mind?

There are a few particular words that are a complete turn off for me, that's on a profile and in the real world to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Huge ranty profiles that then state at the end 'I'm lovely really!'

Ones with a key word at the end to quote in a message to show you've read the profile. Just skip to the end to find it if you can't be arsed to read it all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can't accommodate or won't meet smokers are the only two things I can think of that'd put me off. The rest of a profile is just noise as we'll decide whether to meet or not purely by the chat

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By *igga_manMan
over a year ago

near Reading

Not here to fuck all of fab

Some sort of password to be put in title of message

Face pic with your messsge

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ok so after ready g all these I'm going to rewrite my profile. Haha x

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By *ollyGWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

Does anyone read the text, I just look at the pics lol

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By *onforming_deviantWoman
over a year ago

Gainsborough

"Quality over quantity.

I don't bite, unless you want me to.

Not here to shag the whole site.

No time wasters.

I'll fill this out later.

I'm an open book! Just ask.

I have no limits (which means i wont respect yours)

We're all here for the same thing (which means i wont respect your wishes)

I have a friend id love to share a woman with. (Looking for someone me n my mate can abuse)

Any name with 'security' or 'bouncer'

Whining about not being given a chance.

Large volumes of body hair in photos

Deodorant cans, sky remotes or underwear around the ankles...

Demands to see face pics...

Hahhaa

My block list is huge

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think you guys have it all covered!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Loads, here is a few.....

Not here to shag the whole site = I think I’m something special

Professional couple = we think we are something special

Must have social only first = We will be interviewing you because we are special

Face pics with first message = I think I’m special

Please include a certain phrase in the title to show you’ve read the profile = Do as you are told because we are special

We have a life outside of Fab = gosh we really are special

Maybe there is a pattern?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

These are funny as fuck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Negativity and institution warnings

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By *reedy_for_funCouple
over a year ago

My House

Young at heart = old

Fit hot couple seek similar = what we see at in the mirror is different to what everyone else sees.

Athletic = we spend too much time in the gym honing our bodies but no time at all on our personalities.

Well hung = in my dreams

Can eat pussy for hours = I lack imagination

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

'If you've been on here for more than a year with no meets, then I'll/we'll block you'. I think some people don't realise how difficult it is to meet someone on here.

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By *rryTMan
over a year ago

Nottingham

Text speak

ROFL

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Or a big long text, and u think I'm in there. Then in bold itll say looking for BBC.I'm like does nodody want. Little white cock anymore

lol

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By *isty286Couple
over a year ago

Dorset

Profiles with no pics at all, and sending a friend invite to try to see all of ours.

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By *sRedbbwWoman
over a year ago

Amwythig

Deletes long winded profile

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

This Sydney guy and his university

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We just be truthful but still get stupid remarks off some people which we just ignore, if you don't like what people say, just move on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Quality over quantity.

I don't bite, unless you want me to.

Not here to shag the whole site.

No time wasters.

I'll fill this out later.

I'm an open book! Just ask.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Loads, here is a few.....

Not here to shag the whole site = I think I’m something special

Professional couple = we think we are something special

Must have social only first = We will be interviewing you because we are special

Face pics with first message = I think I’m special

Please include a certain phrase in the title to show you’ve read the profile = Do as you are told because we are special

We have a life outside of Fab = gosh we really are special

Maybe there is a pattern?

hahahaha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This Sydney guy and his university

This makes me howl laughing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Picky" - when they have been on the site 5 years and had only 1 social meet in 2005.

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By *arciocialWoman
over a year ago

Leicester

Text speak, capital letters, moaning.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Phew, can't see any of these that apply to me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Negativity and talk of bareback.

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By *C500Man
over a year ago

Preston

People that look like a bag of spanners sayin ...must be special to contact them ...

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By *even inchesMan
over a year ago

nottingham

"People that look like a bag of spanners sayin ...must be special to contact them ... "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We're not keen on the profiles that tell you how sexy they are just find it a little off-putting and arrogant

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pmsl!!!!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not really profile text but - photos of people having sex turn me off 90% of the time. It rarely looks as sexy as it’s intended.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So true that is!!! Lol

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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago

Stoke area

The people who will meet people 18 to 99.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Loads, here is a few.....

Not here to shag the whole site = I think I’m something special

Professional couple = we think we are something special

Must have social only first = We will be interviewing you because we are special

Face pics with first message = I think I’m special

Please include a certain phrase in the title to show you’ve read the profile = Do as you are told because we are special

We have a life outside of Fab = gosh we really are special

Maybe there is a pattern?

hahahaha

Haha hilarious !!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"People that look like a bag of spanners sayin ...must be special to contact them ... "

So true,the site is very empowering for women who look like a pork scratching

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By *lkDomWhtSubBiCpleCouple
over a year ago

Somewhere / Everywhere /Kinksville

"People that look like a bag of spanners sayin ...must be special to contact them ...

So true,the site is very empowering for women who look like a pork scratching"

Maybe but it also tells a story of the guys that make them like this ?

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"People that look like a bag of spanners sayin ...must be special to contact them ...

So true,the site is very empowering for women who look like a pork scratching"

Or maybe that's what guys with a sense of entitlement about the site tell themselves to explain their lack of "success" here

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

"Anyone with the Sydney University boilerplate c+p is basically saying that they lack independent thought and/or imagination. Personally, that doesn't say to me that we're going to have an interesting and/or fun play time.

The worst offenders the ones that include stuff about Facebook being a public listed company!

Has anyone actually ever been sued? It confuses me no end this Sydney Uni stuff!

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By *reedy_for_funCouple
over a year ago

My House

So true, the site is very empowering for women who look like a pork scratching"

Or full of guys that think they're the best fuck, the biggest prick (literally true for some guys on here), best stamina or best looking and oh how those women should be grateful they've chosen you, yes you, as the grateful recipient of their seed. Lucky you ladies

While some women on here aren't blessed with the best looking faces or bodies they are, at least, aware of the fact. They, at least, will have the personality to score. Some of the so called 'fit' hotties on this site aren't worthy to walk in the shadow of some of the 'women who look like a pork scratching' as they're all ego and nothing else.

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By *LIRTWITHUSCouple
over a year ago

Chester

Says safe sex but just had veri in of mmmmf every hole filled and jizzed in

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By *ed LipstickWoman
over a year ago

Fucksville

Reading through this has had me in stitches.... and now I'm just off to rewrite my profile x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Loads, here is a few.....

Not here to shag the whole site = I think I’m something special

Professional couple = we think we are something special

Must have social only first = We will be interviewing you because we are special

Face pics with first message = I think I’m special

Please include a certain phrase in the title to show you’ve read the profile = Do as you are told because we are special

We have a life outside of Fab = gosh we really are special

Maybe there is a pattern?

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By *urSurveySaysMan
over a year ago

London/Chichester

I'd say my profile has a few things that put people off!

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By *aggie and DanCouple
over a year ago

Swansea

Profiles that edge on the brink of aggression

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd say my profile has a few things that put people off! "

Bloody hell youre a charmer aren’t you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fucks sake I didn’t mean to do the eyelash emoji haha

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By *ngels of Sin 69Couple
over a year ago

High Wycombe

"Says safe sex but just had veri in of mmmmf every hole filled and jizzed in

Hahaha this made me proper laugh, H x

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By *urSurveySaysMan
over a year ago

London/Chichester

"I'd say my profile has a few things that put people off!

Bloody hell youre a charmer aren’t you

Haha well speak your mind I say! And honestly I've had so many more messages since I changed it from what I had previously.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Professional

Must write a assay to contact us

No bad grammar

If I see any of the above in a profile I instantly think what a deluded self importance idiot x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Couples profiles where the guy is allowed to play alone (clearly she knows nothing about it) & he's posting pix of her without her knowledge to sly his way in with other couples.

Or, same as above, but he's clearly got a fantasy about her with other guys so he's trying to get us to "tell him what you'd do with her".

Single guys, we'll find you.

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By *LIRTWITHUSCouple
over a year ago

Chester

"Says safe sex but just had veri in of mmmmf every hole filled and jizzed in

Hahaha this made me proper laugh, H x"

Some people are unreal - double standards stretched here literally

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By *oul BrothaMan
over a year ago

A Galaxy far far away

War and Peace profiles.

Poor grammer, an speillong

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By *urSurveySaysMan
over a year ago

London/Chichester

"War and Peace profiles.

Poor grammer, an speillong

Just so you know, it's 'grammar'..

wouldn't usually, but you know..

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By *eliciousladyWoman
over a year ago

Sometimes U.K

"War and Peace profiles.

Poor grammer, an speillong

I think he was being facetious (grammer and speillong)

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

'We're all here for the same thing' but saying nothing.

Similarly, ask any questions

Ranty moans about something

Photos that show someone who's highly different in each, so you're left uncertain how much different to the worst they'll be in real life

Half the length of the bible, with little useful content

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That made me chuckle x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Wife is away so only me playing"

Any profile that says they play bareback. Mentions of creampies and getting girls pregnant? I've been asked too many times if someone can get me pregnant... er no....

"Fill in later"

Ones that are too demanding "you must have 5 face pictures and do X,Y and Z faces in each one so I know you are real. Then you must beg for me to meet you and treat me like royalty. Bend to my every whim and be my bitch in the bedroom."

~Mia

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

Couples - professional couple (we are better than you)

Couples again - looking for single man to satisfy the wife (Husband can’t do the job or wife bored with him)

Men - I can eat pussy for hours (you need to get out more lol).

Ha ha ha

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