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Funny stories and hilarious / terrible messages

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Morning all.

I love it when it December's in March. I can't get to work and my boilers having a stroke, so I'm in need of some funny stories to lighten up my day.

Any funny fab stories? Memorable, hilarious and gloriously terrible messages welcome.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm looking forward to this thread

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

The most memorable one for me was from a dating site. I received a message from a lady declaring that she was a "full time professional sitter at 600lbs" and that she would love to sit on me and engulf me like quicksand while her 'feeder' feeds her.

This would come at no charge because I had nice eyes...

Now I may be partial to a bit of ferocious face sitting from time to time however I politely refused her kind and generous offer

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

About six months ago a guy said he could get me into the porn industry, I just needed to send some portfolio style photo’s & meet him for a casting to see how I perform.

I faked interest and bombarded him with questions he couldn’t answer, his story crumbled & he went quiet. Do people really fall for that approach?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I just needed to send some portfolio style photo’s & meet him for a casting to see how I perform"

Hahaha that ol chestnut!!

There was a forum post recently from a guy looking for porn stars. Tbf he seemed sincere enough and was honest saying it was low budget and no pay at least "until the business took off" haha.

Couldn't help but think it was really just him looking to fuck while his mate Dave filmed it on his iphone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I just needed to send some portfolio style photo’s & meet him for a casting to see how I perform

Hahaha that ol chestnut!!

There was a forum post recently from a guy looking for porn stars. Tbf he seemed sincere enough and was honest saying it was low budget and no pay at least "until the business took off" haha.

Couldn't help but think it was really just him looking to fuck while his mate Dave filmed it on his iphone"

That was exactly the vibe I got from it lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The funniest one I had was the man who wanted me to breast feed him and offered to buy me a drop flap bra to do it in XXX

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"The funniest one I had was the man who wanted me to breast feed him and offered to buy me a drop flap bra to do it in XXX"

"Drop flap bra" bahaha! Quality

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Bump!

Anyone else??

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By *rimson_RoseWoman
over a year ago

Tamworth

I had a message recently saying ‘You need to be bred’ and that he wanted to impregnate me. An offer I found easy to refuse.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The man who claimed to be very dominant and turned up to a coffee shop social in a nappy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Funniest thing was when a man chatted me and friend up on a night out .He was nice but he did sell himself a bit high .Said he owned a company and had sports car .I didnt fall for it .But my friend did .so following evening my friend goes on date with him .He had same clothes on .old car and friend was shocked as felt he had told do many lies .pity as he was nice man but a liar .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Op nice hairy chest

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow


"The man who claimed to be very dominant and turned up to a coffee shop social in a nappy "

ha ha ha ha omg

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I had a message recently saying ‘You need to be bred’ and that he wanted to impregnate me. An offer I found easy to refuse. "
he messaged me yesterday too. Lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"The man who claimed to be very dominant and turned up to a coffee shop social in a nappy "

Wow! I bet that was a interesting convo

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

"You need to be bred" hahaha ballsy!

I mean, its a kinda compliment really.

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By *rimson_RoseWoman
over a year ago

Tamworth


"I had a message recently saying ‘You need to be bred’ and that he wanted to impregnate me. An offer I found easy to refuse. he messaged me yesterday too. Lol"

He's a charmer isn't he

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By *rimson_RoseWoman
over a year ago

Tamworth


""You need to be bred" hahaha ballsy!

I mean, its a kinda compliment really. "

In a roundabout way, you're probably right...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I had a message recently saying ‘You need to be bred’ and that he wanted to impregnate me. An offer I found easy to refuse. he messaged me yesterday too. Lol

He's a charmer isn't he "

I tried to reason with him, for a bit. Let’s just say the brain wasn’t matching the brawn....

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By *rimson_RoseWoman
over a year ago

Tamworth


"I had a message recently saying ‘You need to be bred’ and that he wanted to impregnate me. An offer I found easy to refuse. he messaged me yesterday too. Lol

He's a charmer isn't he

I tried to reason with him, for a bit. Let’s just say the brain wasn’t matching the brawn...."

Really? I thought he'd be the sensible, rational type

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