FabSwingers.com forum: Avoiding timewasters: Official thread

By *j_mark OP Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Totteridge/Whetstone

Some seem to successfully avoid "timewasters" and "fakes". We're going to add a section to the FAQ pages with "best practices" about how to avoid timewasters and we'd welcome your input here.

Please, if you have a system in place to avoid and out timewasters we'd like your input here. Any messages that don't have constructive input on that topic will be removed from this thread because we'll also point here from the FAQs.

Thanks

Admin x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

good idea but i think we need to define what a time waster is, ive been called one for deciding not to meet someone after a few chats, i personally think of it as someone who has agreed to meet then doesnt turn up or cancels at the last min with no valid reason ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"good idea but i think we need to define what a time waster is, ive been called one for deciding not to meet someone after a few chats, i personally think of it as someone who has agreed to meet then doesnt turn up or cancels at the last min with no valid reason ?"

we use that definition too emms

Wolf

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By *oe_Steve_NWestCouple
over a year ago

Bolton

A good way to out fakes is to ask them to cam. It is nigh on impossible to highlight a 'timewaster' (one who arranges to meet then doesn't show with out getting in touch), but if you have a good 'selection' process it shouldn't happen. We've been swinging for several years and haven't had a real 'no show'.Trust your instincts I'd say. Z

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By *onkeytigerCouple
over a year ago

South London

We think anyone who has been on the site for some time -- say, four months -- and has no verification is suspect and we are less likely to take them seriously.

Photos are also something we use to measure if we think someone is fake. Lots of photos is a good indication of reliability; the style of photos, content, and cropping are also things we use to gauge reliability.

Just some examples:

1. A user close to us, who continually looks for daytime meets, at least once a week and often more. 'They', but we think he is a 'he', has no verifications, and has been on the site for more than a year. You'd think after that time, he would have a verification? After all, it's no trouble to get if you are meeting regularly.

2. A user who sent us a friend request, with a picture of a woman on it. Four months later, we get a second friend request, with a picture of a different woman! When we asked about this, he just said 'I'm real, if you like it come along'. Needless to say we didn't 'come along'.

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By *lutandhubbyCouple
over a year ago

west midlands

we always ask to speak to the both of them on the phone first

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

the person above had the main arguement.. you are going to have to define what a timewaster is... and people are very quick to throw the word around here.....

if you can't meet now... timewaster

if you dont want to meet someone... timewaster

if they block them... timewaster

while I think the thread is done with good intentions.. it isn't going to stop the moans.. because the problem is not only "timewaster" it is people seeking instant gratification with minimum effort and not having patience...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

this happened to me just this weekend gone, what made it worse was I got a txt saying will be there in 7 minutes then they never showed, what's that all about?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm sorry but I disagree with the verification point , I for 1 even when I was meeting alone took no interest in them prefering to talk to them myself than take what other people may have said about them. Just because they don't have any doesn't as I have said before mean they not meeting may just mean they don't want the world to know what they are doing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

the only way to make sure you never meet a time waster is to never arrange a meet, we have has some but weve also had some great meets.

I think its always going to happen people get cold feet after all.

but instead of moaning about it, and yes we get pissed off to, remember the good times and try again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

With regards to "timewasters" we have never had a problem or been let down without being notified beforehand.

"Fakes", as a general rule we don`t chat to couples that have been on the site for more than 3 months without verifications. In our opinion, if a couple who are both genuinely interested in paticipating in the "scene" are not able to get verified (even a social meet in person) in this timescale, its highly unlikely they a "genuine".

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By *onkeytigerCouple
over a year ago

South London

"if you can't meet now... timewaster

if you dont want to meet someone... timewaster

if they block them... timewaster

Fabio is right about this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

hi i've been caught with timewasters only way to keep it to a miniume talk on phone soon after making contact on site and trust your gut from there

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have given our point of _iew in other threads, but happy to do so again.

We get messages from couples now and then that seem to have joined the site more than a year ago.

No verifications! not even to meet for a drink in all that time.

Then one day they think to contact us even though its quite clear we are no novices and full swap only.

Does not ring true to us.

In our opinion if we join a swinging site thats what your there to do.

Its worked for us, we have been very lucky in meeting some great people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A general approach we take is:

1. If it feels like a fake, it probably is.

2. If it looks to good to be true, it probably is.

3. If it's a 18-25 year old 'girl' with full face photos on 'her' public profile, no in-person verifications and 'she' is messaging you asking for pics, it's definitely a fake.

4. If they won't speak on the phone, they are either wasting your time, changed their minds or it's a fake.

5. Pic collectors want naked or action shots showing your face. Don't put them on your profile and never send them to someone you don't know.

6. Don't make the fakers lives easy by contacting every new 'single female' or 'couple' profile as soon as it comes online (in the vain hope that you'll be first out of the gate)

7. Don't get stressed about timewasters and fakes. It's their problem, not yours.

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By *j_mark OP Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Totteridge/Whetstone

""if you can't meet now... timewaster

if you dont want to meet someone... timewaster

if they block them... timewaster

Fabio is right about this."

Agreed, that is partly correct but we think there are some genuine people on this site who genuinely don't know how to spot/avoid "timewasters" and a little education would help them.

Admin x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Our definition of a 'timewaster' is a 'no show'. If we get to the point of turning up on time for a prearranged meet and the other site user(s) don't then we label them as 'timewasters'. If they inform us, beforehand, that they need to cancel for whatever reason then we wouldn't call them 'timewasters'... unforeseeable events can and do occur.

Our best tip to avoid the real fakes (real fakes? that sounds funny lol) and timewasters is to have phone or cam contact before arranging meets.

We see it this way.... if they say they are too shy to talk over the phone of chat using cam... how the devil are they going to feel getting undressed in front of us?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

+1 Good point and good boobs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Congratulations on acquiring the site it is brilliant

we usually go on the 3 months rule too but to be honest a fem to fem phone chat is our favorite.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think this is a can of worms as others have said. To be fair, I think different people have different opinions on what constitutes a time waster.

If the sticky was going to be about "Avoiding unsuccessful meets" then I would have some contribution. But if the meet was unsuccessful, it doesn't necessarily mean that the person or persons were time wasters.

For example

1. 9 out of 10 successful meets for me are "spontaneous", they happen either on the day of initial contact or the day after.

2. Meets that have been planned well in advance have tended to (for me) not materialised, real life has gotten in the way (either mine or theirs)

3. Swinging is about choice, for a successful meet to occur this needs to be understood, if you went for a coffee or drink before, to get to know one another, and then no physical contact took place, these people did not waste your time, you just didn't connect.

4. Building PM, webcam, telephone relationships leads to a far higher successful meet count. If you plan a meet two weeks from hence and only receive a message after initial agreement and all goes quiet, the chances are, the meet will not happen, both parties have to make the effort to stay in touch, if one party does not, then you can assume that interest is limited and the potential for failure is high.

5. People can have second thoughts, especially "newbies", they can text you before leaving home, get half way to your home and then back out. Think about it for a minute, this is the first time they have met a relative stranger for sex, nerves can get the better of anyone, respect that and move on.

6. If you chat to someone for a year, before sending a face pic and then when you do, you get no response, these people have not wasted your time, they have exercised choice, move on

7. Be prepared for biological interference (illness, menstruation etc) to get in the way, again, most people cannot control this, accept it, move on, or rearrange

8. Be honest, about what you like and don't like, saying one thing in PM's and then writing different on your profile or forums (especially if you change your profile after arranging a meet), will likely put people off.

9. Look at the distances involved, and see how likely it is that someone will travel 200 miles to see you.

10. Try not to be too "full on", talking too much talk, before you have met, can wear people down, try to maintain some mystery.

These are just some of the things I think about before a meet, but the biggest thing to say is, people will change their minds, for some people this is just a fantasy, for others a first time. Try not to get hung up o the meets that fail, but think about the new friends and "playmates" that you have met. Be more positive than you are negative and I think success will be forthcoming.

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham

The problem isnt timewasters,the problem is people expecting everyone to swing like them,(see above where apparently 4 months is the cut off point between timewaster and swinger)and not using common sense and the tools available to judge meets.

i prefer the term no show...we havnt had any.i put this down to meeting couples we know from clubs and socials(meaning we know there is a spark)and swapping phone numbers with single men as soon as the meet is set.

Wants to get to know us....not a timewaster

Cancels the meet with notice ...not a timewaster

Changes their mind...not a timewaster

Just here to cam/chat...not a timewaster

You get my point

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

The first and probably most important thing to remember is…. this is the internet. We have no control over who uses it and why, hence you should never take everything as cast in stone just because someone typed it.

This does not mean everyone using the internet exaggerates and lies or is a wind-up merchant. It just means you need to be sensible and use your judgement to the best of your ability, every time. A false sense of security will do you no favours and it is easy to let your guard down when all is apparently going well.

The second thing to remember is, there are no fool proof, 100% guaranteed methods to avoiding timewasters and wind-up merchants. Even if some people say they have never had the misfortune, they are possibly just lucky. So don’t take it to heart if you do get caught out once in a while.

If it seems too good to be true, it possibly is.

If it seems a bit dodgy, it possibly is.

If they seem like they are hiding something, they possibly are.

Either move on or make sure you are satisfied with what you know before rushing in and agreeing to anything.

Everything else is just a pick and mix of what works for you and fits with the type of adventures you seek.

Speak on the phone. Texting flirty messages can be fun, but you can tell so much more from a voice, the tone and the hesitant pauses. It will help to reassure them that you are genuine about meeting too.

Arrange a time to confirm the meet is still going ahead, preferably by talking on the phone. For example if you plan to meet at 8pm and it’s an hour journey, say you will ring at 6pm to make sure everything is OK.

Confirm who you are meeting on cam. It doesn’t have to be rude camming, just a quick check to make sure they are a couple and they look like their photos.

Organised socials can be a good way to meet people who you may want future contact with, but there are plenty of people arranging meets who never go to them… it’s horses for courses.

Arranging a quick social meet for a coffee, prior to arranging a longer meet can work, but you have to bear in mind people can and do have other commitments on their time, so it’s not always feasible.

Avoid rushing in and taking short-cuts, even if they do look stunning…. sometimes it may pay off but you are at the mercy of luck.

Have faith in your own judgement, even if they are verified. All a verification tells you is they turned up for that person: not how many others they changed their mind over and bottled it.

Remember, there are far more genuine people out there than there are idiots. So with a few sensible decisions and a bit of time you will find the _ruits of your labour.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

network with friends if have community spirit

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"network with friends if U have community spirit"

this new keyboards killin me lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

well ive read a few of the replies to this thread, but we all see a timewaster in different lights I suppose, define a "Timewaster" ok you say someone who doesn't show up for a meet, or they have been on here X & Y but no verification/s. ive been on here for X-Y and i got a verification from one person, and that was on cam, so does that make me a "timewaster" or ok. as it wasn't in person?

I have sent quite afew messages to well quite afew women in and around my area seeking pretty much the same as me, and ok before anyone says anything yes they may not like what they see etc. I don't get much response from the messages that i send out. So does that mean I can call those individuals "timewasters" for not replying to what seems like they seek the same. or am i just waffling utter shite..!!

anyway i think its good in theory but not in practise and as this is a free site it will attract "trophy hunters" from both sides.nature of the beast.

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By *andcCouple
over a year ago

London and Cheshire

We look at people verifications first, they MUST be by meeting in person, we put little faith in phone or cam verifications. The reasoning behind this is that they have actually turned up to meet someone.

The verifications they have, we look at what others have said, together with how many they have, again the reasoning behind this is, it may be easy to get a false verification from one person maybe two but ten!

We also look at the people who have left verifications, usually laying down the same rules of thumb, this gives added weight to the actual verification if given by someone who also has lots of verifications.

When we have made arrangements to meet we will ask them to phone us a few days before, if we don't hear from them or excuses start coming this rings alarm bells.

Finally we ask them to call again on the day, this allows them to cancel if they are having second thoughts, or a genuine reason has cropped up.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I handle all the communication fer potential meets...

Spotting potential timewasters ?

A failure and/or reluctance to communicate in a clear, open, manner, just about sums it up fer me..I primarily ask to swap telephone no`s..and all parties speak, and guage the rapport..

Sometimes an explanation is given as to why the communication has been poor..a case for instinct and an appreciation of busy lifes..

Acceptance that no system is perfect, eases the irritation, when we come across one...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would rather have a "report a timewaster" tab

with various options as to why your reporting them, anything from, wouldn't verify both parties by phone, to, didnt turn up!

Then maybe a "3 strikes and your out" rule and be removed from site.

Just a thought x

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By *andcCouple
over a year ago

London and Cheshire

"well ive read a few of the replies to this thread, but we all see a timewaster in different lights I suppose, define a "Timewaster" ok you say someone who doesn't show up for a meet, or they have been on here X & Y but no verification/s. ive been on here for X-Y and i got a verification from one person, and that was on cam, so does that make me a "timewaster" or ok. as it wasn't in person?

anyway i think its good in theory but not in practise and as this is a free site it will attract "trophy hunters" from both sides.nature of the beast.

NO it doesn't make you a timewaster, but it also doesn't show that you actually meet people!

Now I know that people say we go to clubs to meet peple so we don't need verifications..etc.. that is their choice.. but the verification system is a tool to give people some extra confidence in the profile, which we generally have to take on face value other wise!

The point about being a free site, doesn't hold up either, we have been on loads of swinging website going back to the 90's and we have found just has many problems on pay sites has free sites. In some ways pay sites are even worse, has when someone has paid they tend to stick around, while with free sites, soon has they realise it harder than they think, or they get bored, they leave.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would rather have a "report a timewaster" tab

with various options as to why your reporting them, anything from, wouldn't verify both parties by phone, to, didnt turn up!

Then maybe a "3 strikes and your out" rule and be removed from site.

Just a thought x

Won't work. Far too easy to abuse.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well if we went on actual meets as being regarded as genuine non timewasters we could only say that three of our friends are the "real deal"!!!!

Others who we/they have requested a meet but have failed to agree/cancelled etc are we/they "timewasters"???.....don't think so!

We think it is about time folk took responsibility for their own destiny on here, how about insisting on face pics on profiles? Never mind the crap of their jobs/lives suffering if they are recognised....if they can't take the knocks then why play the games in the first place?

Dave

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By *obbytupperMan
over a year ago

Menston near Ilkley

Give everyone a chance and don't be too quick to judge, would be my advice. Only a week ago I was contacted by a single female and she gave me a phone number which was already in my phones memory under a different name.

I thought I would play along and invited her round even though I thought she was a timewaster.

Imagine my surprise when she turned up and was utterly gorgeous!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"how about insisting on face pics on profiles? Never mind the crap of their jobs/lives suffering if they are recognised....if they can't take the knocks then why play the games in the first place?

Dave

Good way to get 90% of people to leave the site

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

"I would rather have a "report a timewaster" tab

You have it already.

You don't need a variety of options as to why you think they are a timewaster... there is only one reason... if they arrange to meet you and don't without letting you know.

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

"....how about insisting on face pics on profiles? Never mind the crap of their jobs/lives suffering if they are recognised....if they can't take the knocks then why play the games in the first place?

Dave

Oi! you might have a shit job.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If people don't meet those with no verification's, how will new members get a meet?

We have met up with others from another site, it quietened down a lot so we decided to come to this site instead but we don't have any meet verification's from any members from this site, so we must be time-wasters!

If we wanted to meet folk at a social or club, we'd do that & not bother with the site.....we are not interested in clubs/socials. That's our choice.

As I said in another post I believe verification's are there to to ensure the person you believe you are in contact with IS that person. That the 30 something isn't in their 50s, that the fem isn't a guy etc

As for time wasters.....trust me we've had a lot. Those that come across as yes I'll meet you at location A & time A only to not show up at the last minute with no message of "sorry can't make it" & disappear off line.

Those that say they want to meet up only to be pic gathers or email collectors (there was a couple of fems we emailed, then suddenly we were inundated with Spam)

To me time wasters are people that talk the talk but don't walk the walk.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dave

Oi! you might have a shit job."

Well no actually I do what I want to do and am not afraid of who knows it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"how about insisting on face pics on profiles? Never mind the crap of their jobs/lives suffering if they are recognised....if they can't take the knocks then why play the games in the first place?

Dave

Good way to get 90% of people to leave the site

maybe 90% of folk on here are never likely to meet though and to the other 10% they may be considered to be "timewasters"?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Haven't read the entire but from the jist of it, if you were to state how to avoid timewasters then, aren't you telling the very same people how to not get caught out, being one.

Just my 2p's worth, just awaiting someone to say I wasted my time writing this lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

maybe we should have a red cross as well as a green tick system. You could make it so site supporters can see these red cross comments. Then after 3 crosses you get barred from the site. Bit like ebay do it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dave

Never mind my job.... I don't want to be spotted by family just like I wouldn't want to spot them.

....it's bad enough knowing that my parents had sex to get me here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"maybe we should have a red cross as well as a green tick system. You could make it so site supporters can see these red cross comments. Then after 3 crosses you get barred from the site. Bit like ebay do it"

Yep that would work really really well

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Haven't got time to read everything but here is my tuppence worth.

The term TIMEWASTER is highly SUBJECTIVE.

What is a waste of time to me is not a waste of time to others and vice versa.

How about EVERYONE taking RESPONSIBILITY for THEMSELVES and working out a plan to avoid what they consider a waste of time.....

For example.

I detest chatting on here. I'm not here to chat. SO......

My method goes like this.....

1. Get a message.

2. Respond to message saying NO INTEREST or INTEREST

3. Ask for phone number/ Speak on phone / if we hit it off then ... 4

4. Face cam Or Pic ( i never send pics )

5 Meet publicly

6. Sex if both want to.

Anyone not complying with 3 ( as far as im concerned ) is wasting MY time.

I don't go any further.

End..

Some blokes ask for pics before a phone call....... they won't go further..

End......

For God's sake .... Adults , decide what is right for you.

Make your points clear.

Stick to them.

Don't insult others that have different ways of working.

P.S. When you are on the phone if you don't hit it off...... if he's dull.......quiet .... evasive..... or ANYTHING other than chatty , funny with a feel of honesty ....

DONT MEET !!

Note to Admin......

Doesn't matter what helpful list YOU put up .... some are not able to stick to it OR even take responsibility ....

Like kids they will still blame others.

Love Gran x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The problem isnt timewasters,the problem is people expecting everyone to swing like them,(see above where apparently 4 months is the cut off point between timewaster and swinger)and not using common sense and the tools available to judge meets.

Wants to get to know us....not a timewaster

Cancels the meet with notice ...not a timewaster

Changes their mind...not a timewaster

Just here to cam/chat...not a timewaster

You get my point

What about arrange to meet, & they don't show. with no further contact? TIMEWASTER

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Haven't read the entire but from the jist of it, if you were to state how to avoid timewasters then, aren't you telling the very same people how to not get caught out, being one.

Just my 2p's worth, just awaiting someone to say I wasted my time writing this lol"

Yes. What's wrong with helping others to NOT be timewasters ?

Are you fond of entrapment and failure ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dave

Never mind my job.... I don't want to be spotted by family just like I wouldn't want to spot them.

....it's bad enough knowing that my parents had sex to get me here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We look at people verifications first, they MUST be by meeting in person, we put little faith in phone or cam verifications. The reasoning behind this is that they have actually turned up to meet someone.

When we have made arrangements to meet we will ask them to phone us a few days before, if we don't hear from them or excuses start coming this rings alarm bells.

Finally we ask them to call again on the day, this allows them to cancel if they are having second thoughts, or a genuine reason has cropped up."

I use a similar set of, call them protocols to identify "timewasters" as above.

And after reading all the posts on this thread and having read countless others on the timewasting issue, and re-reading the OP's post its apparant that:-

1: There are timewasters, and countless ways to define them.

2: Spotting "timewasters" takes time to aquire the skill.

3: There is no hard and fast way to "timewasters" out, this depends on your definition personally.

4: there is always exceptions to any rules.

I started a thread a while back with the formula I use to define timewasters and its:-

12 months on site + no verifications + no pics = timewaster.

Now 12 months is a very long time on here to not meet anyone and like alot on here if i see those on here "chatting" i dont contact them or those who have verifications from just webcams or phone chats.

As like others, ive been on other sites and this verification system certainly works on here if its used smartly

Unless someone fakes a verification and ive spotted loads of them on here!! and reported them obviously!! Usually its on couples profiles from one male who has met them and the bloke has no pics or other veri's just like them"

I dont think a button to get rid of a person for whatever reason as it can be abused by vindictive people and is not a good thingh!!

Life sometimes takes over and a meet has to be cancelled, with work it happened with me last week, i let the person know in advance, and we arranged for tomorrow night, thats been cancelled by them as their parent is ill, ive spoke to them and we are both cool and know things happen in life so will meet another time. Crap happens sometimes!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Note to Admin......

Doesn't matter what helpful list YOU put up .... some are not able to stick to it OR even take responsibility ....

Like kids they will still blame others.

Love Gran x "

how can you expect some to read hints (or helpful lists),when some obviously dont read profiles

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Haven't read the entire but from the jist of it, if you were to state how to avoid timewasters then, aren't you telling the very same people how to not get caught out, being one.

Just my 2p's worth, just awaiting someone to say I wasted my time writing this lol

Yes. What's wrong with helping others to NOT be timewasters ?

Are you fond of entrapment and failure ?"

agree if its posted how to avoid timewasters then they will hopefully read it and not bother as very few will bite!!

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

How do you feel about MALE profiles with FEMALE faces pics only ?

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"How do you feel about MALE profiles with FEMALE faces pics only ?"

I don't mind them as long as she has a gorgeous cock.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Note to Admin......

Doesn't matter what helpful list YOU put up .... some are not able to stick to it OR even take responsibility ....

Like kids they will still blame others.

Love Gran x

how can you expect some to read hints (or helpful lists),when some obviously dont read profiles"

Maybe if we could introduce a button that gives a lecky shock if you try to send a message without reading the profile ....... Worth a try ??

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"How do you feel about MALE profiles with FEMALE faces pics only ?

I don't mind them as long as she has a gorgeous cock."

Is it okay if she's just sucking it ?

Write something useful fatty.

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

"Well if we went on actual meets as being regarded as genuine non timewasters we could only say that three of our friends are the "real deal"!!!!

Others who we/they have requested a meet but have failed to agree/cancelled etc are we/they "timewasters"???.....don't think so!

Dave

You may have nothing to lose in your job/life.....many people on here have plenty to lose.

And just how would a face photo make one iota of difference to whether they turn up or not for a pre arranged meet?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If people don't meet those with no verification's, how will new members get a meet?

If we wanted to meet folk at a social or club, we'd do that & not bother with the site.....we are not interested in clubs/socials. That's our choice.

Those that say they want to meet up only to be pic gathers or email collectors (there was a couple of fems we emailed, then suddenly we were inundated with Spam)

To me time wasters are people that talk the talk but don't walk the walk. "

Got to say and please dont take this the wrong way, but in my book however wonderful your profile is I'd define you two as timewasters!! as you have not met anyone face to face in 11 months on here!! and under your own defination above you talk the talk but havnt walked the walk yet and met anyone face to face, although you claim too have done on another site!! now i could claim in here to look like george clooney, not far off though lol.

this is why the whole timewaster thing is so hard to pin down and difficult to get a set of definitions etc for it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i had a meet arranged , my car blew the timing belts so couldnt meet , never had contact with them since , as they never answer phone ,messages etc , in their eyes i am a timewaster , to me they are ,

overall i think its hit or miss on the meets .

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"How do you feel about MALE profiles with FEMALE faces pics only ?

I don't mind them as long as she has a gorgeous cock.

Is it okay if she's just sucking it ?

Write something useful fatty."

Yes, because that's not gay.

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

Timewaster......A Person or Persons who doesn't turn up for a pre arranged meet without letting you know beforehand.

Just because you don't tick all of another members boxes, or they decide after exchanging messages you are not for them, it doesn't make them a Timewaster....it makes them someone with personal choice and personal preferences.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well if we went on actual meets as being regarded as genuine non timewasters we could only say that three of our friends are the "real deal"!!!!

Others who we/they have requested a meet but have failed to agree/cancelled etc are we/they "timewasters"???.....don't think so!

Dave

You may have nothing to lose in your job/life.....many people on here have plenty to lose.

And just how would a face photo make one iota of difference to whether they turn up or not for a pre arranged meet?

This isnt facebook and alot of face photos isnt right, and as they can be copied etc so easily off here is definatly open to abuse, totally disagree with havig that as a pre requisite for this site.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Note to Admin......

Doesn't matter what helpful list YOU put up .... some are not able to stick to it OR even take responsibility ....

Like kids they will still blame others.

Love Gran x

how can you expect some to read hints (or helpful lists),when some obviously dont read profiles

Maybe if we could introduce a button that gives a lecky shock if you try to send a message without reading the profile ....... Worth a try ??"

lol

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

I'd not use the verifications as an indication that people are genuine. The only times I have been left waiting for a person or call that has never come, the people had plenty of verifications, so that won't work. I have also met people without verifications who turned up when they said they would.

Also, insisting on camming may not work, as there are still plenty of people who do not have webcams (me, for example!) Why cut down your list of potential meets by insisting on camming?

There is no way to avoid people who are messing about on here. The ways to cut down on it are vast and varied and different ways work for different people. What is one's foolproof way of avoiding it just won't work for others. But social meets, phonecalls, and instinct are probably the only way. Swapping facepics early on and having a nice long conversation should cut down the chances that they are just on here for a laugh. Socials and clubs should help to meet the people on the site to actually meet. But I honestly think the only 100% foolproof method of avoiding timewasters is to not meet at all!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" But social meets, phonecalls, and instinct are probably the only way. Swapping facepics early on and having a nice long conversation should cut down the chances that they are just on here for a laugh. Socials and clubs should help to meet the people on the site to actually meet."

Read it all so far, and this lady speaks sense, so I agree, with this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well if we went on actual meets as being regarded as genuine non timewasters we could only say that three of our friends are the "real deal"!!!!

Others who we/they have requested a meet but have failed to agree/cancelled etc are we/they "timewasters"???.....don't think so!

Dave

You may have nothing to lose in your job/life.....many people on here have plenty to lose.

And just how would a face photo make one iota of difference to whether they turn up or not for a pre arranged meet?

not a case of nothing to lose more a case of doing what we choose and not scared to admit it.

well face photos can be fake for sure but if there is no photo in the 1st place well we just don't go there, if they are not who they say they are via the pic, when they turn up at ours, they'll be shown the highway....simples

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well if we went on actual meets as being regarded as genuine non timewasters we could only say that three of our friends are the "real deal"!!!!

Others who we/they have requested a meet but have failed to agree/cancelled etc are we/they "timewasters"???.....don't think so!

Dave

You may have nothing to lose in your job/life.....many people on here have plenty to lose.

And just how would a face photo make one iota of difference to whether they turn up or not for a pre arranged meet?

This isnt facebook and alot of face photos isnt right, and as they can be copied etc so easily off here is definatly open to abuse, totally disagree with havig that as a pre requisite for this site."

so if they turn up and are not who they claim to be in the pic, they talk to the hand

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

Read it all so far, and this lady speaks sense, so I agree, with this.

Thanks.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have been called a timewaster for daring to spend time with my kids so not sure how you are going to do this; one persons _iew of timewaster is not necessarily another's. And a bad meet might make someone deem them a timewaster

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By *oantrimcpl2010Couple
over a year ago

Lisburn

Havnt read all the post, but for my input. This is going to be difficult for a number or reasons.

1. Everyone has they own definition of a timewaster.(mine is if they dont turn up without letting us know, thankfully have never come across this)

2. Everyone uses the site in the way that feels right for them.

3. Some like to build up a rapport and friendship first others want a meet today sort of thing. (so one person's way can be different to an others but they are not timewasters in my eyes)

As for people that have been on site for months without veri's, that could be due to a number or reasons

1. They may not be on that often

2. They want to make sure that they are comfortable before making the plunge so to speak

3. They may have had meets but have asked not to be verified

Some just get cold feet.

Ok im gonna shut up now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would rather have a "report a timewaster" tab

with various options as to why your reporting them, anything from, wouldn't verify both parties by phone, to, didnt turn up!

Then maybe a "3 strikes and your out" rule and be removed from site.

Just a thought x

Won't work. Far too easy to abuse."
Really??

If you've been reported by 3 different profiles for the same offence there is obviously a problem!!!

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By *orthwest_cplCouple
over a year ago

Stretford

"not a case of nothing to lose more a case of doing what we choose and not scared to admit it."

Good for you. You can put your face pictures on the internet as YOU have nothing to lose. Some people do have something to lose - jobs with disrepute clauses, relatives that would be mortified, neighbours that might set up burning crosses. Some people have nothing to lose but prefer not to have any pictures at all. What difference does it make? If you need pictures to say someone is genuine then pass on by the profiles without - simples.

We've been in this scene for 11 years, played pretty much every week in that time and never put a picture on a profile on any site yet. Horses for courses, we're not all the same and we all have our own way of going about things.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If your a time waster..yr a time waster..you will find them on any site,thats life..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some sites have sticky threads that always stays at the top.....think this should be made into a sticky thread !!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would rather have a "report a timewaster" tab

with various options as to why your reporting them, anything from, wouldn't verify both parties by phone, to, didnt turn up!

Then maybe a "3 strikes and your out" rule and be removed from site.

Just a thought x

Won't work. Far too easy to abuse.Really??

If you've been reported by 3 different profiles for the same offence there is obviously a problem!!!"

Pssssstttt!!! Will you do us a favour and report someone for me (lie and say they didn't turn up)... I don't like 'suchandsuch' (not real username) so if me, you and one of my mates all report them they'll get booted off the site

See how easy it is to abuse that system? x

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

I sometimes think there is a possible correlation between the amount of timewasters people experience and how desperate/obsessed with meets they may be. They simply rush into agreeing before checking things out.

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"Some sites have sticky threads that always stays at the top.....think this should be made into a sticky thread !!!"

Nah, a 'Whiny'.

And there's no need for it to be a sticky, it gets put up every couple of days anyway.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think we've ever met a timewaster as such. We've had meets that haven't gone as well as others, meets who have cancelled but given us notice, and indeed we've cancelled meets, as we did today, because we've just come back from holidays with a nasty dose of the screaming habdabs, but timewasters ? nah, never met one.

Why ? maybe we've just been lucky, maybe we are just not champing at the bit for a meet that we take the slightest bit of interest in our profile as a cast iron gaurantee of a meet ? who knows the reason ? but suffice to say, we are happy with our lot

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I sometimes think there is a possible correlation between the amount of timewasters people experience and how desperate/obsessed with meets they may be. They simply rush into agreeing before checking things out.

totally agree

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

well done fab this sites getting better and better xxx if you can help take them out .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you've been reported by 3 different profiles for the same offence there is obviously a problem!!!"

The same 'Offence' !

For Christs sake this is a swingers site not Stalag 17

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

how many people actually report the profile for it ?

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

If you've been reported by 3 different profiles for the same offence there is obviously a problem!!!"

So a couple who may also have two singles accounts (one male and one female) could use all 3 of their accounts to report you.... nice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think this 'report a timewaster' attitude is bullshit.

Lets face it, most of us love to hate someone, so lets get together and report him/her/them as timewasters just for a laugh and get them booted from the site ....

It's so open to abuse it would never ever fly, or if it did fly, the site would soon crash and burn.

At the end of the day we are all (supposidly) adults and this tell tale, run to the teacher mentality is a joke.

Roll with the punches an if once in a while things don't work out - act like an adult and move right on, put it down to experience but stop expecting everybody to hold your hand 24/7

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham

Wants to get to know us....not a timewaster

Cancels the meet with notice ...not a timewaster

Changes their mind...not a timewaster

Just here to cam/chat...not a timewaster

You get my point

What about arrange to meet, & they don't show. with no further contact? TIMEWASTER"

Thats what i called a no show...

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham

"not a case of nothing to lose more a case of doing what we choose and not scared to admit it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Going with emms explaination of a timewaster......i always swap mobile numbers nearer the day of the meet, so that a swapping of texts or phone call can help double check if all is well.

And i always meet in a pub for a drink first.

On the day of the meet, if i havent heard from the person, i text to say 'are we still meeting?' if no reply, i assume they have changed their minds about meeting.

Them cancelling at very short notice is very difficult to avoid!

But i personally wont meet a non verified person/couple, or someone who hasnt been on the site for very long. Just my way of dealing with things, i know others are different.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"not a case of nothing to lose more a case of doing what we choose and not scared to admit it.

and +2

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"not a case of nothing to lose more a case of doing what we choose and not scared to admit it.

and +2"

Plus twarrrrrrrrrr

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

yeah this 20 year old kid who i mistakenu decided to give my number out to, bombarded me with messages and i mean like 20 in the first hour asking me what i was doing when i startyed work who i was with etc etc and i gasve him the benefit of the doubt but i just told him i def wasnt gonna meet me and he called me a digusting fat fucker and was gonna report ME!! lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree its down to careful 'ing out'. If you cant be arsed to check people out beforehand, dont get upset when you get mucked about!!!

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By *ISPCouple
over a year ago

Nottingham

There are lots of good points on here recently a couple said we were not genuine purely because we made a mistake about a location they mentioned.

We registered with this site well over a year ago but chose not to use it as we had a busier profile on another adult site so the verification etc hasn't happened until the last week or so - some people on the forum would therefore have classed us as timewasters.

We also only recently added photos so may be for a year people will have thought us as timewasters.

I stress that we are not - in the meantime we still have only photo verification because we are a little fussy - we won't just meet anyone, we need a degree of attraction. We also like to chat first and make friends, also we're both busy people and family commitments must come first.

We're always happy to go on cam for a few moments for people to see we are real. While Mr K is happy to talk to someone on the phone I do not like chatting on the phone - not even to my family so a short chat can make me feel very uncomfortable. That said - get me face to face and you normally can't shut me up.

There are so many opinions here - none are right or wrong, it's just that we all have differing _iews.

What's the answer? Not an easy one - we have been messed around but I think if everyone tries to read profiles properly it might help, but as some other posters have said, it's taking a no show as just that. We can contact people and see if there's a genuine reason or be can block them.

Interesting discussion

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

this thread hasnt been that much a waste of time really...Ive wanked at most of the profiles pics that have posted..all except crumpets

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon

For every point someone raises, there seems to be a counter-point, e.g. verifications.

That being said, here's our list of "how to".

1. Verifications. Yes, we know its a hot potato, but we do need to see a few! Not got any? Why not? One visit to a Cardiff social and you could potentially have more than 50!!! Bottom line, verifications prove that you are a couple/single fem/single guy.

2. Pics. Not essential, but its nice to see something.

3. Phone/cam contact. Essential, we go nowhere without a phone number!! Ongoing contact is great at helping to smooth the nerves, and a mix of email/phone/cam is a great way of staying in touch.

4. A social meet. Not neccessarily at an organised social, and not absolutely essential, but its nice to get to know someone. Some arent into the "making friends" aspect of swinging, but we do like to get to know them a little, the idea of getting "up close and personal" with total strangers is a little alien to us lol!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

this is why the whole timewaster thing is so hard to pin down and difficult to get a set of definitions etc for it.

I couldn't agree more, that's why I personally don't get the whole verification's thing.

It's not our fault we have been let down so often, yet we only have our word to prove it. If we were on the other side the chances are we would feel exactly the same as you guys!

We know we are being honest, but how does anyone else, so we totally understand why people don't take us seriously, no matter how unfair we feel being labeled as timewaters is.

Rock. Hard place.

I'm sure we're not the only members on this site that have the same problem, that's why I don't actually read other peoples verification's.

This reason is why we are considering attending a club/social. We don't actually want to, but feel we have to just to be taken seriously & that, I resent. We shouldn't feel we have to do or go somewhere that we aren't really wanting to, just to get a face to face verification to be taken seriously, but we can't think of any other way.

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By *umourCouple
over a year ago

Rushden

Hey Si

Loads of good ideas on this thread. The real problem you have to address before you can post any "info" is to state a site agreed definition of a "Timewaster".

It doesn't matter what that definition is, as long as most on the site agree. From a staw poll on this thread, most have a really good grasp of the situation and seem to agree that a timewaster is:

A person or couple who arrange a meet with others and do not turn up and have not called to say so.

Forget all the silly stuff like chatting but not meeting. The no varifications or pictures. The not answering emails and all that other stuff that are just an annoyance, but not timewasting!

If you said that not showing was timewasting, there are some really good points up there from people like Granny, Jane, Zoe, Frock and of course Polo. We agree with almost all they have written in the subject.

Great idea if handled well, but what we don't need is for an info post to turn into law!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A general approach we take is:

1. If it feels like a fake, it probably is.

2. If it looks to good to be true, it probably is.

3. If it's a 18-25 year old 'girl' with full face photos on 'her' public profile, no in-person verifications and 'she' is messaging you asking for pics, it's definitely a fake.

4. If they won't speak on the phone, they are either wasting your time, changed their minds or it's a fake.

5. Pic collectors want naked or action shots showing your face. Don't put them on your profile and never send them to someone you don't know.

6. Don't make the fakers lives easy by contacting every new 'single female' or 'couple' profile as soon as it comes online (in the vain hope that you'll be first out of the gate)

7. Don't get stressed about timewasters and fakes. It's their problem, not yours."

Top trumps, though I don't do phone because it's not that girly, y'know.

Make cammers do something unique that they won't have on a stolen cam show. Stand up, clap hands, sit down, stand up again, turn around. Offer the same before camming so they know you'll expect it.

Pics could be anybody, from me or to me. I never believe them without supporting proof.

We might not stop it but a little education is better than plain old cyncicism, right? And I'm a big cynic.

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By *B1UKMan
over a year ago

Beamish

TIMEWASTERS

Here are a few examples of how to spot a timewaster

people that have been on here more than a few months and not yet verified

They ask for a meet, and then log off

The put “meet today” on their profile and log off

They will only meet at times you can’t

They ask what you’re not into and say they only do that

They say they will meet next month, year, sometime

They chat for ages then say they can’t meet

They want your address (never give it, always meet in the open)

The suddenly say they can’t meet due to family illness, death, alien abduction.

This list can go on. But what’s the point. Only timewasters will read it and they will kick off as they don’t see what the problem is

REPORT ALL TIMEWASTERS. and let this site be for genuine people who want to meet other's for a good time. click on the report link on their profile and fill in the box saying why they are a timewaster AND SEND IT!!

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By *amschwingerzCouple
over a year ago

West

If the same 'timewasters' are reported by various couples then wouldn't it be a decent idea for admin to contact them and sound them out?..or ask them to explain themselves?

Some people who have fake multiple profiles i.e. men pretending to be women, also have verifications sent by themselves..follow the source of the verification..the 'tree' doesn't often have very long roots.

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

Report, report, report! If there are multiple reportings then there is bannage, unless the guy I blocked left of his own accord (likely).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yep that would work really really well

I have suggested this several times

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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago

Cyprus

"Some seem to successfully avoid "timewasters" and "fakes". We're going to add a section to the FAQ pages with "best practices" about how to avoid timewasters and we'd welcome your input here.

Thanks

Admin x"

And those that whinge and whine about 'timewasters,' don't read the FAQ's anyway.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"the person above had the main arguement.. you are going to have to define what a timewaster is... and people are very quick to throw the word around here.....

if you can't meet now... timewaster

if you dont want to meet someone... timewaster

if they block them... timewaster

I agree.

People should get over themselves and understand that they are dealing with people who have other things happening in their lives and not sex slaves here to do their bidding.

Unless, of course, that's what you're into...

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By *ark CharmerMan
over a year ago

Horsham

Thank goodness, I go with my gut feel and have never come across a timewaster.

I was meant to meet with a couple last Friday but they cancelled, I know they are not time wasters cos we talk on phone, seen them on cam and they have played with a friend I know, things happen.

I can tell tell "suspect" profiles and I just say no thanks.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To be honest theres not many subjects that bore me on here as i feel threads will always reoccur as new members join, so the fact we have comdoms threads regular, how to improve my profile threads regular etc bothers me none as the newbies need advice like we all did and if you just searched everything you wanted to know you may as well close the forums as every subjects been covered by now

but the time wasters threads

fook me there will always be time wasters, its a part of swinging that will never go away

Everyone has their own ideads of what a time waster is but either way if you dont want to risk getting messed about at some point dont swing because pretty much all of us will experience this at some point

i really dont understand why people still get so upset over it all

put it down to experience and move on

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

I have read the whole thread and am surprised to discover that by some standards i'm a timewaster!

After some incidents of inappropriate phone calls (while i already stated i was at work or with people who don't know about this side of my life) and also text overdrive, again while i'm at work and unable to even check my messages let alone reply. And then there was the guy i met and turned down who bombarded my phone with threats of sexual violence! I now am exceedingly cautious about giving out my number. I arrange my coffee meets purely through the site and only swap numbers when we have both decided we want things to go further. I don't cam cos i don't have one. Therefore i must be a timewaster with a fake profile and am actually a 53yr old brickie called derek...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have read the whole thread and am surprised to discover that by some standards i'm a timewaster!

Hi derek, hot for ur age!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 28/10/11 05:17:23]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm sorry but I disagree with the verification point , I for 1 even when I was meeting alone took no interest in them prefering to talk to them myself than take what other people may have said about them. Just because they don't have any doesn't as I have said before mean they not meeting may just mean they don't want the world to know what they are doing. "

My point of _iew too. The war cry "timewaster" is seldom aimed at people without verifications anyway, as people tend to give them a wide berth.

Too many people assume verifications mean someone will always turn up because their complaint often than not state "and they had verifications too!"

When I was meeting I seldom gave verifications or asked for any. I used my own judgement, starting from the initial contact. I decided those unable to talk on the phone, unable to firm up a social meet not worthy of my time and moved on. Some people are let down several times by the same person. Not a lot you can do to save people from themselves if they can't work out they're being played.

I also only met on my terms ie social meet always during the day during my lunch time, so if they didn't turn up I was popping out for a sandwich anyway. If the can't do lunchtime and want to meet betwixt our two destinations I don't meet them.

I'm Domme, they're supposed to be sub but telling me what to do...they're not what they claim. The signs are there to spot timewasters,liars and fakes if you use your brain and not listen to your throbbing bits.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A few points about time wasters.

I would love a verification...(i'm a single bloke)

Many on here say they are only chatting or to keep in touch with friends (Facebook)

Hidden profiles, what's that about?

I think the solution is for people to be more honest in what they want or expect from a swinging site.

And profiles should have a word count limit.

Anyone want to meet for respectful but as naughty as you like NSA fun?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A few points about time wasters.

I would love a verification...(i'm a single bloke)

Many on here say they are only chatting or to keep in touch with friends (Facebook)

Hidden profiles, what's that about?

I think the solution is for people to be more honest in what they want or expect from a swinging site.

And profiles should have a word count limit.

Anyone want to meet for respectful but as naughty as you like NSA fun?"

I have a single profile which I do use as well , it states that I am not meeting and that I am here to talk to friend in forums . Also states that if you message me you will be blocked now I know that I could put mail filters on but would then miss out on banter with people from forums .I use to use that profile more than this for the forums as it is my opinions I post on here Not Jets as he doesnt use forums(yet) .I now have another definition of a time waster , those that message asking me to meet when I have stated I am not , can I please ask that all them are deleted as well . Oh and as for using facebook for chatting to friends I dont need or want my family to know what I do .

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By *john121Man
over a year ago

staffs

"To be honest theres not many subjects that bore me on here as i feel threads will always reoccur as new members join, so the fact we have comdoms threads regular, how to improve my profile threads regular etc bothers me none as the newbies need advice like we all did and if you just searched everything you wanted to know you may as well close the forums as every subjects been covered by now

but the time wasters threads

fook me there will always be time wasters, its a part of swinging that will never go away

i really dont understand why people still get so upset over it all

put it down to experience and move on"

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By *uby In StockingsTV/TS
over a year ago

Cheadle

I agree with everything Fabio and others said earlier about peoples definition of a timewaster being so different, I was accused once because i just didn't want to meet the person and they blocked me and called me a timewaster to some of my friends. On the other side of the coin, I have lost count of the number of no shows I have had in the past, all for varying reasons, suffice to say I think admin should refrain from attempting to get involved in the personal disputes that are bound to arise, like the old saying goes, there are always two sides to any story.

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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

"A few points about time wasters.

I would love a verification...(i'm a single bloke)

Many on here say they are only chatting or to keep in touch with friends (Facebook)

Hidden profiles, what's that about?

I think the solution is for people to be more honest in what they want or expect from a swinging site.

And profiles should have a word count limit.

Anyone want to meet for respectful but as naughty as you like NSA fun?"

Hidden profile, I hid my profile while dating a short while ago and then kept it hidden while getting malicious phonecalls from someone on this site and another. It was for my own security. There are lots of individual reasons why some profiles are hidden x

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By *--Cinders---Couple
over a year ago

a place near Blackpool

i dont use my cam, i prefer a chat on the phone or even texts from guys, shows their genuine...people do cancel at last minute for various reasons but the ones who rearrange another day/time are the genuine ones..i think anyway,

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

And profiles should have a word count limit.

WTF? Seriously... what the fuck?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Avoid anyone from the fourms as they are all timewasters xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is it just me or does nobody else run a selection process for potential meets? I don’t expect to meet all i chat to, i do expect to put time into all though and just because i don’t meet someone doesn’t make it a waste of time. Is an employer inter_iewing 100 people to take on 1 a time waster to the other 99? Sometimes i think i am far too chilled out for this site and should tighten my strings to fit in.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And profiles should have a word count limit.

WTF? Seriously... what the fuck?"

Maybe the limit can be 750 words (yours is 748)

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By *ittlemorespiceCouple
over a year ago

North Cornwall

View people as a total package....

1. Does their profile appeal to YOU?

1. Verfied? How and by whom? Are they the type of people you would meet?

2. How does the messaging go.. good chemistry so far?

3. Do they have face pics?

4. Will they give out/speak on phone?

5. Will they cam?

6. Do they want to talk sexy senarios (may mean they just want cyber thrills).

7. Are they willing to have a social?

8. Get them to confirm by text on morning of meeting.

9. Dont book and pay for a hotel with someone you dont already know.

10. Listen to your gut feeling. Its usually right.

It works for us.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Point 1. YOU are responsible for yourself so THINK. Maybe you waste your own time. THINK about others too. It's not all about you and your needs.

Point 2. Check out the profile. ALL of it. If there is the remotest hint of anything you don't like then don't make arrangments to meet. i.e. I tend not to meet those who use certain phrases or bad language or moan a lot in their profiles. I steer clear of 'virgins', 'shy men' and anything I know isn't for me.

Visualise yourself sitting with the person and you are listening to what they are saying. It's a really good measure.

2. Ask for a phone number. If they won't give it to you you have choice A = MOVE ON or Choice B = Give them a little time as you can't have it all your own way. Generally I go for point A. Anyone who won't give out a phone number is suspect. What is there to be scared of ? Why sit sending messages for ever to each other? Don't listen to the 'Oh I like to get to know you first...... God's sake you don't get to know someone by sending stupid messages. Talking on the phone and meeting in person is how you get to know someone. Don't waste your own time!

3. Look at their pictures but FACE camming AFTER a phone chat is better.

4. I always speak on the phone before asking for pics or face camming. My reason is this. If we can't chat then we can still have anonimity in reality. E.G. Why send pics to people that you might not meet ? TALK first - Pics later. I NEVER send pics I only face cam. Why would I want my face pic circling the neighbourhood or the internet ? Camming shows me as I am. Not me as I was some time ago. Same goes for the people you are meeting.

5. Make your intentions for your first meet Crystal Clear. i.e if you just want to see them for coffee say so.

6. Meet in a public place for a first meet. Spend enough time with them to suss them out.

7. Don't do anything you can't afford. i.e Don't send money. Don't rely on them for lifts home.

8. Always have a plan B as people do genuinely get held up or have to postpone. If you are let down at the last minute then Plan B stops you being frustrated and a bitter little whiner.

9. If their pictures show someone tied up in the background with a bloodstained power saw and two arms on the floor ask if they are into BDSM or at least read their interest list.

10. If they sound :- dull, weird, crazy , scared, immature, incapable , domineering, murderous , like a liar - they probably ARE.

Just THINK

Be RESPONSIBLE for yourself.

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By *ittlemorespiceCouple
over a year ago

North Cornwall

"Report, report, report! If there are multiple reportings then there is bannage, unless the guy I blocked left of his own accord (likely)."

We always report but have found that it rarely results in anything. even when we are seen said guy on cam and it isnt him and he admits to using someone elses pics he stays on site enjoying the winding up of other users. This is somewhat frustrating. Really though, what difference will it make if they are deleted and are allowed to rejoin? The powers that be do have the technology to stop this happening from the same address but dont. Where there are no real sanctions there is no real enforcement. The only thing we can do is use our own instincts and occasionally get burned. Buggers!

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By *ittlemorespiceCouple
over a year ago

North Cornwall

"Point 1. YOU are responsible for yourself so THINK. Maybe you waste your own time. THINK about others too. It's not all about you and your needs.