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Tell a sex joke...

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By *otSoNewWalesCouple OP   Couple
over a year ago

South Wales

The first time I got undressed in front of a woman she laughed, pointed and said "Who are you hoping to satisfy with THAT?"

"Me!" I replied.

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By *edMan
over a year ago

cambridgeshire

Thought I'd watch a porn movie cos I was feeling horny, so I chose a site that did random porn clicks...

It was rubbish, just a black screen with a fat bloke sitting on his sofa, wanking..

Then I realised I hadn't turned the screen on..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ladies are usually pleasantly surprised when I drop my trousers, but then I drop my boxers and I never see them again

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Two old ladies sat on a park bench and a guy comes over and flashes them. One lady had a stroke, but the other couldn't reach !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Two old ladies sat on a park bench and a guy comes over and flashes them. One lady had a stroke, but the other couldn't reach ! "

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By *uminsiderMKMan
over a year ago

St Austell

"I've seen one of those before" she said, when I dropped my trousers and pants, "It's like a penis, only smaller...."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Two old ladies sat on a park bench and a guy comes over and flashes them. One lady had a stroke, but the other couldn't reach ! "
u made my day

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A hard brexit will give you a soft cock lol

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By *he Silver FuxMan
over a year ago

Uttoxeter

I am a man trapped inside the body of a woman....

.....,.I will never keep lube and glue in the same drawer ever again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Q) How do you know a homosexual man has used the toilet before you?

A) The shit is countersunk at one end.

Q) What do you call an Asian lesbian

A) Minjita

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By *he Silver FuxMan
over a year ago

Uttoxeter

Welcome to the Fab Forum Innuendo Club.

Thank you all for coming.

I’ve discove_ed I have a logic fetish.

I can’t stop coming to conclusions.

I’ve met someone on Fab who shares my fetish for urinating on dried fruit.

Next week we’re going to go on a date.

After spending 20 minutes trying to take my girlfriend’s bra off, I’ve decided to give up.

I wish I’d never put it on now.

The first time I had sex it was in my parent’s bedroom.

My girlfriend said, “This is a bit awkward.”

I said, “Just ignore them.”

What’s more dangerous than running with the scissors?

Scissoring with the runs.

My Fab FB is worrying that the sex we’re having is a bit vanilla and I get distracted too easily …

I guess I’d better get off the Forum and back to it.

Ax

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A husband comes home to find his wife with her suitcases packed in the living room. "Where the hell do you think you're going?" he says. "I'm going to London. You can earn £50.00 for a blow job there, and I figu_ed that I might as well earn money for what I do to you free." The husband thinks for a moment, goes upstairs, and comes back down, with his suitcase packed as well. "Where do you think you going?" the wife asks. "I'm coming with you...I want to see how you survive on £100.00 a year!!!"

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By *he Silver FuxMan
over a year ago

Uttoxeter

The other day I was having a Fab meet with a married woman at her place when her husband came home early.

She told me to use the back door and said I’d have to be quick.

On reflection I should have just left, but it’s not every day you get an offer like that.

I’m actually a scientist and I’m currently researching bestiality between humans and dogs.

At the moment I’m in my Lab

I’ve just started having meets with a blind woman.

It’s very rewarding, but quite challenging.

It took me ages to get her husband’s voice right.

I was on the Lovehoney website the other day and started to add up the cost of all my wife’s dildos and vibrators.

It turns out she’s sitting on a small fortune.

I have sex daily.

dyslexia…

I have dyslexia

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor


"Two old ladies sat on a park bench and a guy comes over and flashes them. One lady had a stroke, but the other couldn't reach ! "

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By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

My mate asked me today what my ringtone was?... " I dunno", I said "A light browny colour I should imagine".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Had a meet the other day and as I dropped my boxers the lady laughed and said it's not very big is it?

I replied well It's filled 2 prams so far.

Have you at least brought any condoms she asks, no I reply I buy cling film and roll my own.

Terribly bad jokes lol so sorry.

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By *he Silver FuxMan
over a year ago

Uttoxeter


"My mate asked me today what my ringtone was?... " I dunno", I said "A light browny colour I should imagine". "

Damn, this one made me laugh my coffee across the desk

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By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

I was out walking the dog earlier when I noticed 2 men fighting in the street over a prostitute?

It was a tug-of-whore.

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By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

Marie went home happy, telling her mother about how she earned £20 by climbing a tree for a bet with the guys from work. Her mom responded, "Marie, they just wanted to see your panties!" Marie replied, "See Mom, I was smart, I took them off!"

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By *itch and TwatCouple
over a year ago

Near Rushden Lakes


"I was out walking the dog earlier when I noticed 2 men fighting in the street over a prostitute?

It was a tug-of-whore."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I opened a nightclub for men with erectile dysfunction.

I was a total flop

Nobody came

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