FabSwingers.com forum: Question for couples

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So my boyfriend and I are keen to get involved in meeting other couples but have a slight difference in opinion in how we do this. I prefer to establish a definite rapport with another couple, getting to know them first and playing ONLY if the chemistry is great for us all and nobody feels they are playing for the sake of it. In short, swinging with friends He thinks it's best to arrange a night in hotel or.my.home where we can post a meet and then invite prospective couple/s to the room to play same night if the drink in the bar is satisfactory. Neither of us are keen to go back to a club.

What's other couples thoughts?

We both now don't wish to meet single guys again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We follow your approach, at least one social meet first to see if we all get on. It's a totally different dynamic when there are four people involved. Good luck x

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By *uzz And WoodyCouple
over a year ago

Maidstone

We would prefer to get to know them a little bit beforehand via text etc. then have a social to as if we click, then arrange the play date, if we all want to. But, I wouldn’t want to become good friends with them in the normal sense of the word as I’d like to keep swinging completely separate from my ‘real’ life.

I can see the benefit of just meeting the way your partner wants to though, less time and effort wasted and no chance to build an emotional connection so it’s less likely to interfere with your relationship. And the spontaneity could be a turn on.

Ultimately, you both need to be comfortable with what you decide.

Mrs x

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By *ibertine_mindsCouple
over a year ago

Staffs/ Derbys/ Peak District

We always meet for a social, see how the conversation goes. Some flirting and general exploring of boundaries and tastes. Usually give a positive indication before we leave and possibly return back somewhere with our new ‘friends’ for a coffee only.

As we enjoy dressing for pleasure and mostly private meets, we would not quite be dressed appropriately for a play meet at the social.

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By *loswingersCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

Quick drink at the bar , and then off to play if you click .

No way would we ever do a social first as there is far less likelihood that you will ever meet up again . The time you all have to find reasons why not to meet again and the effort in making diaries tie up etc.... sod that malarkey .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Try both options and see how it goes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We would never meet for the first time at our house, nor a hotel room, as I can't see a realistic exit strategy.

Having said that, we tend to have a social early on to check everyone is happy to go further. Our favourite plan is a social nearby, so we can move straight on to play if everyone's comfortable.

The main thing is that you will never enjoy it if you don't feel relaxed, so whatever you require to settle you is what is right. Your partner should understand that.

Just out of interest, is there a reason you were put off clubs?

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By *ipsxxCouple
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 11/02/18 19:24:20]

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By *limaxinnylonCouple
over a year ago

CHESTER

As long as you explain to the other couple that play will only occur if you are all happy then even at your home it should be fine! Any normal swinging couple would expect nothing less! We always ask after a quick chat and a drink if everyone's happy and if one is not, no play, hasn't happened yet!!! Ha!!!!

Jayne xx

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Our thoughts are don't do anything until you can both agree on how to go about it. This will mean one of you having to change your mind or both of you not playing.

This is best sorted out between the two of you.

We always meet socially first.

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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

Social first see if we all click then see what develops

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As long as you explain to the other couple that play will only occur if you are all happy then even at your home it should be fine! Any normal swinging couple would expect nothing less! We always ask after a quick chat and a drink if everyone's happy and if one is not, no play, hasn't happened yet!!! Ha!!!!

Jayne xx "

Could that be because, when face to face with someone asking, it's difficult for them to say no?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So my boyfriend and I are keen to get involved in meeting other couples but have a slight difference in opinion in how we do this. I prefer to establish a definite rapport with another couple, getting to know them first and playing ONLY if the chemistry is great for us all and nobody feels they are playing for the sake of it. In short, swinging with friends He thinks it's best to arrange a night in hotel or.my.home where we can post a meet and then invite prospective couple/s to the room to play same night if the drink in the bar is satisfactory. Neither of us are keen to go back to a club.

What's other couples thoughts?

We both now don't wish to meet single guys again."

We prefer to chat and get to know couples first. You get a better underatanding pf what everyone likes and you can have a laugh and a joke to start it all off.

Also in our mind you are more invested when there is a friendship so the sex side is alot more fun.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's also your home he wants to invite strangers into, not his.

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

In my opinion you must both agree on how to meet.

If you can't agree on the basics, then you will find other aspects even more difficult to agree on.

I would certainly be dubious of inviting unknown people to my home, or booking a hotel purely for a meet that might not happen.

Nita

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By *ampshirehotwifeWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire

We like to meet socially first. We usually send messages back and forth to get a 'feel' for them.

We have in the past met a few couples where one of them is always more eager than the other and they are just going along with it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks for all your replies. We are going to have a chat about it again. Not keen on asking strangers to my home unless I have met socially first.

I was out off by clubs as there were far too many pushy single guys.

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