FabSwingers.com forum: When someone asks you...

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

‘What are you looking for on here?’

And you’ve got a comprehensive profile.

How do you answer without sounding like a knob? I just want to say to them - ‘er... my profile?’ But I realise that sounds up my own arse.

How do you answer that one?

I see it as an attempt at conversation on the part of the other party, but find it a bit lame. So always have struggled to not sound like a twat when answering that one.

Your pearls appreciated x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it’s normally when people want to know more detail, but I get the frustration!! We normally check out there profile before deciding if to reply lol xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd guess the same as above,about just wanting to hear a bit more in the more chatty style of a message rather than the profile write up.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Better than just "Hi, how are you?" I find. As even a lot of ladies lead with.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

The answer to what I’m looking for is well boring, really; ie nsa good times... so it really makes for a crap answer anyway, I haven’t got anything more exciting to tell them other than that. There’s no specifics. I always ask the same question back and the answer is rarely something unusual.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When asked what I'm looking for I don't hesitate in saying that's on my profile.

When asked what brings me to Fab, why I'm on here I can't resist the sarcastic answer "for the knitting patterns"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *londieddWoman
over a year ago

fife

"The answer to what I’m looking for is well boring, really; ie nsa good times... so it really makes for a crap answer anyway, I haven’t got anything more exciting to tell them other than that. There’s no specifics. I always ask the same question back and the answer is rarely something unusual. "
I answer that one with I'll know when I find it! my likes and wants change with the weather, well when I'm meeting that is!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always say I have no real clue, (which i havnt) if they can work their way round that I'm impressed

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always refer people to my profile..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"When asked what I'm looking for I don't hesitate in saying that's on my profile.

When asked what brings me to Fab, why I'm on here I can't resist the sarcastic answer "for the knitting patterns"

what this is not Origami school??

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"The answer to what I’m looking for is well boring, really; ie nsa good times... so it really makes for a crap answer anyway, I haven’t got anything more exciting to tell them other than that. There’s no specifics. I always ask the same question back and the answer is rarely something unusual. I answer that one with I'll know when I find it! my likes and wants change with the weather, well when I'm meeting that is!"
good answer!!! Nicking it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I answer honestly. God like types

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

If it's someone I like the look of I tend to make more effort obviously but my standard response is something like 'thanks for your message, all is explained in my profile' I'm not too bothered if that would make someone think I was up my own arse especially if they weren't my cup of tea anyway!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lceeWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

While my profile says I’m looking for bad boys with cute bums that don’t take themselves too seriously for nsa fun, when someone asks me what I’m looking for, I have a lot more to say.

The kind of person and dynamic, preference for regular meets rather than one offs, the need for a connection etc, these would all feature into my answer to them. Nsa fun could mean so many things that it ends up meaning nothing.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uzz And WoodyCouple
over a year ago

Maidstone

We normally respond with ‘our profile pretty much sums us up’. It’d be nice if they started the conversation with a comment or question relating to what’s on our profile, at least that shows it’s not just another generic message. Mrs x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *969BewitchedWoman
over a year ago

Nottingham

"When asked what I'm looking for I don't hesitate in saying that's on my profile.

When asked what brings me to Fab, why I'm on here I can't resist the sarcastic answer "for the knitting patterns"

Love it, I am so going to use that one

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You could answer reading in your likes .

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If and when it happens...you!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Profiles are Scottish almost a CV. Pics provide additional information.

They come with no context no real world feel other than the words used.

If I'm going to meet someone I want to know more about them. I only find that out initially by txt or later phone or meet.

It may not be the most inspiring opening question but it is an attempt to open a dialogue that allows more full judgements to be made.

I'm guessing OP you don't just meet and fuck based on what's written on a profile with no other interaction?

Why would you expect others not to do the same?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

* shortish

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Profiles are Scottish almost a CV. Pics provide additional information.

They come with no context no real world feel other than the words used.

If I'm going to meet someone I want to know more about them. I only find that out initially by txt or later phone or meet.

It may not be the most inspiring opening question but it is an attempt to open a dialogue that allows more full judgements to be made.

I'm guessing OP you don't just meet and fuck based on what's written on a profile with no other interaction?

Why would you expect others not to do the same?

I’ve rarely had a successful union witb a guy who’s questioning bears the resemblance of a job interview, a series of Q&A. What are you looking for. What’s your type. Etc. I’ve found the best conversations start with a clever guy picking something from my profile, making a joke or reference to their own experience relating to that, and sometimes even an insight into themselves. Far more likely to open up and talk to that type of man. Additional info is volunteered through situational stuff, rather than coldly asked for - does that make sense? Maybe I’m just too fussy ...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A question such as what are you looking for all too often comes from people who haven't read the profile, and they usually aren't the kind of people I want to meet.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"A question such as what are you looking for all too often comes from people who haven't read the profile, and they usually aren't the kind of people I want to meet.

Mostly yes! And I get a little disappointed when a guy I have so far fancied and been up for, suddenly drops that question...!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just tell them 'nothing'....ive found it and very happy thank you.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I rank it alongside "how's you?" and "how are you finding this site?".

It shows a lack of effort; they haven't read your profile and can't find anything interesting to say.

So, unless they look like Adonis (yes, I'm shallow), I generally don't reply.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We see it as an attempt at conversation and so try to answer it. We then ask them the same question.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rimson_RoseWoman
over a year ago

Tamworth

I usually just say 'pretty much what's in my profile,' then summarise it as good company without the commitment.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"‘What are you looking for on here?’

And you’ve got a comprehensive profile.

How do you answer without sounding like a knob? I just want to say to them - ‘er... my profile?’ But I realise that sounds up my own arse.

How do you answer that one?

I see it as an attempt at conversation on the part of the other party, but find it a bit lame. So always have struggled to not sound like a twat when answering that one.

Your pearls appreciated x"
they're in the forum you're in the forum not much you can do you either answer or say read profile

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Profiles are Scottish almost a CV. Pics provide additional information.

They come with no context no real world feel other than the words used.

If I'm going to meet someone I want to know more about them. I only find that out initially by txt or later phone or meet.

It may not be the most inspiring opening question but it is an attempt to open a dialogue that allows more full judgements to be made.

I'm guessing OP you don't just meet and fuck based on what's written on a profile with no other interaction?

Why would you expect others not to do the same?

It makes perfect sense to me. But then your question wasn't about the structure of that ongoing interaction it was about an opening question..

And I agree it's not the most inspiring opening to any dialogue.

But some lack the social skills of others or the confidence or the creativity to start that process and need to find some sort of opening to begin that dialogue.

It makes them no less valuable as a person and indeed from that almost stuttering start something may or may not grow.

After all acorns are bit of a small nut but grow into the mightiest of trees.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Profiles are Scottish almost a CV. Pics provide additional information.

They come with no context no real world feel other than the words used.

If I'm going to meet someone I want to know more about them. I only find that out initially by txt or later phone or meet.

It may not be the most inspiring opening question but it is an attempt to open a dialogue that allows more full judgements to be made.

I'm guessing OP you don't just meet and fuck based on what's written on a profile with no other interaction?

Why would you expect others not to do the same?

It makes perfect sense to me. But then your question wasn't about the structure of that ongoing interaction it was about an opening question..

And I agree it's not the most inspiring opening to any dialogue.

But some lack the social skills of others or the confidence or the creativity to start that process and need to find some sort of opening to begin that dialogue.

It makes them no less valuable as a person and indeed from that almost stuttering start something may or may not grow.

After all acorns are bit of a small nut but grow into the mightiest of trees.

Nicely put. And yes I’m sure you’re right.

I struggle over treating the approx 100 people who ask the same question every week individually & not giving them blunt answers. Some get more detail, if I’m in a chatting mood, but unfortunately a lot of the time it’s a case of ‘I can’t be arsed to answer this same question for the 100th time this week’ and enthusiasm wanes... my bad

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ecretlyASoftieWoman
over a year ago

Hull but travel regularly

I don’t answer, i just delete if they can’t spent 2 mins reading my profile I won’t waste 1 minute on them. Harsh but realistic

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I don’t answer, i just delete if they can’t spent 2 mins reading my profile I won’t waste 1 minute on them. Harsh but realistic "

Easy when that’s the first message. Not so easy when you’re mid-superficial- conversation and it crops up!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *queekyCheesyCouple
over a year ago

newark

"If there is not enough going on between your ears to think to look, you are not what im looking for"

Tends to solve all issues

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ecretlyASoftieWoman
over a year ago

Hull but travel regularly

"I don’t answer, i just delete if they can’t spent 2 mins reading my profile I won’t waste 1 minute on them. Harsh but realistic

Easy when that’s the first message. Not so easy when you’re mid-superficial- conversation and it crops up!

I still find that easy. As I said harsh but realistic!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ambslass48Woman
over a year ago

Peterborough

I always tell them to read my profile. As i do theirs

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They're showing initiative approaching a sexy woman but taking the moment that moment to find out whether you're interested .....if you don't ask you don't get

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I don’t answer, i just delete if they can’t spent 2 mins reading my profile I won’t waste 1 minute on them. Harsh but realistic

Easy when that’s the first message. Not so easy when you’re mid-superficial- conversation and it crops up!

I still find that easy. As I said harsh but realistic!

It is a bind to go through them all isn’t it, it’s like a harsh selection process and you could have better so naturally it’s survival of the fittest

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don’t answer, i just delete if they can’t spent 2 mins reading my profile I won’t waste 1 minute on them. Harsh but realistic

Easy when that’s the first message. Not so easy when you’re mid-superficial- conversation and it crops up!

I still find that easy. As I said harsh but realistic!

It is a bind to go through them all isn’t it, it’s like a harsh selection process and you could have better so naturally it’s survival of the fittest

"
just delete all men sorted no more messages or stupido questions

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just point them to my profile with a

there's no point having it if they don't read but I don't want to appear rude but also don't have time to recap to every message. Difficult balance, not being rude!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I don’t answer, i just delete if they can’t spent 2 mins reading my profile I won’t waste 1 minute on them. Harsh but realistic

Easy when that’s the first message. Not so easy when you’re mid-superficial- conversation and it crops up!

I still find that easy. As I said harsh but realistic!

It is a bind to go through them all isn’t it, it’s like a harsh selection process and you could have better so naturally it’s survival of the fittest

just delete all men sorted no more messages or stupido questions

"
Nooooooooo....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So what u all into lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"‘What are you looking for on here?’

And you’ve got a comprehensive profile.

How do you answer without sounding like a knob? I just want to say to them - ‘er... my profile?’ But I realise that sounds up my own arse.

How do you answer that one?

I see it as an attempt at conversation on the part of the other party, but find it a bit lame. So always have struggled to not sound like a twat when answering that one.

Your pearls appreciated x"

I just dont bother answering as they clearly havnt read my profile.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why do so many people get annoyed at someone asking "what are you looking for", when their profile so often *doesn't* say what they are looking for. Or worse, it's totally contradictory!

Have you checked your profile text lately? - Question to everyone that has posted on this thread.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always say Im not looking for anything because Im not. Im open to seeing what's on offer.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I always say Im not looking for anything because Im not. Im open to seeing what's on offer. "
god

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"‘What are you looking for on here?’

And you’ve got a comprehensive profile.

How do you answer without sounding like a knob? I just want to say to them - ‘er... my profile?’ But I realise that sounds up my own arse.

How do you answer that one?

I see it as an attempt at conversation on the part of the other party, but find it a bit lame. So always have struggled to not sound like a twat when answering that one.

Your pearls appreciated x"

Just having looked at your profile before commenting.. I don't think that message would deserve a reply if I'm honest. I think yours is very clear.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why do so many people get annoyed at someone asking "what are you looking for", when their profile so often *doesn't* say what they are looking for. Or worse, it's totally contradictory!

Have you checked your profile text lately? - Question to everyone that has posted on this thread.

Mine isn't clear to everyone.. but I like it that way. I'd say the OPs is though.. that's who I'm responding to.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *otSoNewWalesCoupleCouple
over a year ago

South Wales

"‘What are you looking for on here?’

And you’ve got a comprehensive profile.

How do you answer without sounding like a knob? I just want to say to them - ‘er... my profile?’ But I realise that sounds up my own arse.

How do you answer that one?

I see it as an attempt at conversation on the part of the other party, but find it a bit lame. So always have struggled to not sound like a twat when answering that one.

Your pearls appreciated x"

No, that doesn't sound like up your own arse at all.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"‘What are you looking for on here?’

And you’ve got a comprehensive profile.

How do you answer without sounding like a knob? I just want to say to them - ‘er... my profile?’ But I realise that sounds up my own arse.

How do you answer that one?

I see it as an attempt at conversation on the part of the other party, but find it a bit lame. So always have struggled to not sound like a twat when answering that one.

Your pearls appreciated x

Just having looked at your profile before commenting.. I don't think that message would deserve a reply if I'm honest. I think yours is very clear. "

Yes I do feel like that sometimes!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *wo4FemCouple
over a year ago

Birmingham

"‘What are you looking for on here?’

And you’ve got a comprehensive profile.

How do you answer without sounding like a knob? I just want to say to them - ‘er... my profile?’ But I realise that sounds up my own arse.

How do you answer that one?

I see it as an attempt at conversation on the part of the other party, but find it a bit lame. So always have struggled to not sound like a twat when answering that one.

Your pearls appreciated x"

Straight forward answer. Looking for a female to join us for a regular ffm.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *r TriomanMan
over a year ago

Chippenham Malmesbury area

I never ask a woman on fab what's she's looking for, as i already know the answer... it's me

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uzz And WoodyCouple
over a year ago

Maidstone

"Why do so many people get annoyed at someone asking "what are you looking for", when their profile so often *doesn't* say what they are looking for. Or worse, it's totally contradictory!

Have you checked your profile text lately? - Question to everyone that has posted on this thread.

I think ours is quite clear, if a little lengthy.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why do so many people get annoyed at someone asking "what are you looking for", when their profile so often *doesn't* say what they are looking for. Or worse, it's totally contradictory!

Have you checked your profile text lately? - Question to everyone that has posted on this thread.

"
its a guide you ask all the other questions later

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uckslut and MCouple
over a year ago

Poole

I hate the are you having much luck? = look at our veri's and it may reveal the answer.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I hate the are you having much luck? = look at our veri's and it may reveal the answer. "
oh not reading again

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I must admit that i have asked this question on numerous occasions but never to those with a comprehensive profile.

Very rarely do i ever get a reply back

. Oh well!!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rontier PsychiatristMan
over a year ago

Coventry

Say well actually I am looking for a mind reader, or at the very least a reader. You have clearly failed.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rimson_RoseWoman
over a year ago

Tamworth

"I hate the are you having much luck? = look at our veri's and it may reveal the answer. "

This is one I'm not keen on - while it's a conversation piece to some, it runs the risk of being someone who's just looking for kicks with tales of my meets. Approach with caution.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I must admit that i have asked this question on numerous occasions but never to those with a comprehensive profile.

Very rarely do i ever get a reply back

. Oh well!!!"

I’m far more likely to open up to a guy who DOESN’T ask stuff, rather talks about his own experience here and often even point out anecdotes or shortfalls, or just be funny, like for example one of my fbs was so successful with me and started off by explaining the Christmas tree he was standing next to on his pic was not his date for the night, but later after he’d had a few drinks he couldn’t promise me he’d not tried to chat it up. Silly maybe but you get the difference between a message like that and one that’s just a load of questions? I immediately felt open to talk to him and had something to say back.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I must admit that i have asked this question on numerous occasions but never to those with a comprehensive profile.

Very rarely do i ever get a reply back

. Oh well!!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm only human

You're only human

Don't put the blame on me

Making me cry

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I must admit that i have asked this question on numerous occasions but never to those with a comprehensive profile.

Very rarely do i ever get a reply back

. Oh well!!!

That was part of his first message

it was the air of humbleness, but confident and non-threatening approach that turned me to mush immediately. Just my point of view!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I must admit that i have asked this question on numerous occasions but never to those with a comprehensive profile.

Very rarely do i ever get a reply back

. Oh well!!!

That was part of his first message

it was the air of humbleness, but confident and non-threatening approach that turned me to mush immediately. Just my point of view!"
no I'm seeing that ....sometimes less is more

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eedsmale36Man
over a year ago

Leeds

"‘What are you looking for on here?’

And you’ve got a comprehensive profile.

How do you answer without sounding like a knob? I just want to say to them - ‘er... my profile?’ But I realise that sounds up my own arse.

How do you answer that one?

I see it as an attempt at conversation on the part of the other party, but find it a bit lame. So always have struggled to not sound like a twat when answering that one.

Your pearls appreciated x"

Tell them to fuck off....time wasting bastards

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"‘What are you looking for on here?’

And you’ve got a comprehensive profile.

How do you answer without sounding like a knob? I just want to say to them - ‘er... my profile?’ But I realise that sounds up my own arse.

How do you answer that one?

I see it as an attempt at conversation on the part of the other party, but find it a bit lame. So always have struggled to not sound like a twat when answering that one.

Your pearls appreciated x

Tell them to fuck off....time wasting bastards

Harsh!!!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *olliPineCouple
over a year ago

swingers clubs

We ask them if they think we've missed something from our profile or which part of it they need us to go into more detail about.

We might seem rude but they've been rude to not look for this info themselves (9/10) and therefore area nor the type of people we want to meet if they need everything spelling out for them.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"We ask them if they think we've missed something from our profile or which part of it they need us to go into more detail about.

We might seem rude but they've been rude to not look for this info themselves (9/10) and therefore area nor the type of people we want to meet if they need everything spelling out for them."

Not rude to me. It separates out the guys who think with their cocks, from the deeper thinking and way more appealing sexy guys

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why do so many people get annoyed at someone asking "what are you looking for", when their profile so often *doesn't* say what they are looking for. Or worse, it's totally contradictory!

Have you checked your profile text lately? - Question to everyone that has posted on this thread.

Yep my profile does say what im looking for. It says guys and the age preferences plus i have my interests listed. Even when i had lots of detail written on my profile i still got asked the same question as often as i do now so no matter how much or how little detail i put theres still the same amount of guys asking the same question.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread