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Some couples need Therapy not Fab

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

It has crossed my mind on many occasion and i have often wondered; How many couples on here do what they do because they both genuinely enjoy it or does one partner simply go along with it to please their partner.

I met a woman for a social not too long ago and she spoke about how her preferences have changed.

To begin with it was different, it was fun but now she continues to play simply to please her partner.

I found that so sad to hear. I genuinely feel sorry for any individual who feels scared or trapped in a relationship who are frightened to say No and continue to swing even though they actually dislike what they do.

Thoughts?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think i would probably agree with you.

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By *ihimbiherCouple
over a year ago

lightwater

Have we met lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It is such a shame when a guy is scared to leave his partner knowing it is not really working. So many guys still need their Mummy and seek that in a partner. So often they control and the woman goes with it, but only for so long. The natural process of break up will surely ensue. Hopefully soon then it offers more single women for us single guys hahaha

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By *hoenixAdAstraWoman
over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows

Not swinging, but I was in a relationship where every aspect of my life was controlled, slowly & very subtly.

I didn't even realise it was happening.

I can totaly understand now how some women can end up on here in situations they're not happy with, but carry on to please their partner, and no idea how to stop it, stand up for themselves.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree, it's especially visible for me as a bi female, the 'elusive unicorn'. Some of the couples I talk to, it's the guy doing all the talking and the lady just goes along. Same when it comes down to playing.

On purpose, I don't meet any sub/dom couples as it would be even more forced, in my opinion- the woman doing things she does not necessarily enjoy just to satisfy her dom.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Not swinging, but I was in a relationship where every aspect of my life was controlled, slowly & very subtly.

I didn't even realise it was happening.

I can totaly understand now how some women can end up on here in situations they're not happy with, but carry on to please their partner, and no idea how to stop it, stand up for themselves.

"

I can't even begin to imagine how their emotional state of mind is. Its Just sad, Really sad

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By *hunderstruckMan
over a year ago

Northampton


"I agree, it's especially visible for me as a bi female, the 'elusive unicorn'. Some of the couples I talk to, it's the guy doing all the talking and the lady just goes along. Same when it comes down to playing.

On purpose, I don't meet any sub/dom couples as it would be even more forced, in my opinion- the woman doing things she does not necessarily enjoy just to satisfy her dom. "

I was always led to believe the sub is usually the one running the show

They love to be in that position and like to control situations before beginning

Setting boundaries that must be adhered to etc

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I agree, it's especially visible for me as a bi female, the 'elusive unicorn'. Some of the couples I talk to, it's the guy doing all the talking and the lady just goes along. Same when it comes down to playing.

On purpose, I don't meet any sub/dom couples as it would be even more forced, in my opinion- the woman doing things she does not necessarily enjoy just to satisfy her dom.

I was always led to believe the sub is usually the one running the show

They love to be in that position and like to control situations before beginning

Setting boundaries that must be adhered to etc

"

As a sub i can say that we never do anything i am not comfortable with doing ... x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It has crossed my mind on many occasion and i have often wondered; How many couples on here do what they do because they both genuinely enjoy it or does one partner simply go along with it to please their partner.

I met a woman for a social not too long ago and she spoke about how her preferences have changed.

To begin with it was different, it was fun but now she continues to play simply to please her partner.

I found that so sad to hear. I genuinely feel sorry for any individual who feels scared or trapped in a relationship who are frightened to say No and continue to swing even though they actually dislike what they do.

Thoughts?"
think about life and the things you do in it ,whenever you get too much of anything no matter what it is eventually you tire of it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It has crossed my mind on many occasion and i have often wondered; How many couples on here do what they do because they both genuinely enjoy it or does one partner simply go along with it to please their partner.

I met a woman for a social not too long ago and she spoke about how her preferences have changed.

To begin with it was different, it was fun but now she continues to play simply to please her partner.

I found that so sad to hear. I genuinely feel sorry for any individual who feels scared or trapped in a relationship who are frightened to say No and continue to swing even though they actually dislike what they do.

Thoughts?"

Questions:

Was she married?

Was she financially stable?

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By *LIRTWITHUSCouple
over a year ago

Chester

We're both in it for the fun together - club nights when we both want to go. Been a tough January had op, horny as hell, we can't wait to be back out there - Fi xx

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By *isalashes888400Couple
over a year ago

ennis

there are thousands of them kinda pages herestraight male/straight fem lookin for female

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What are those profiles with female only pictures

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By *isalashes888400Couple
over a year ago

ennis


"What are those profiles with female only pictures "
or better again straight male/straight fem lookin for a bi fem

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My ex cheated on me and when I found out she said we should go couples councling.. I was in fits

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What are those profiles with female only pictures or better again straight male/straight fem lookin for a bi fem"

Or we only meet females or female half of the couple

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By *hetalkingstoveMan
over a year ago

London


"

I met a woman for a social not too long ago and she spoke about how her preferences have changed.

To begin with it was different, it was fun but now she continues to play simply to please her partner.

I found that so sad to hear. I genuinely feel sorry for any individual who feels scared or trapped in a relationship who are frightened to say No and continue to swing even though they actually dislike what they do.

Thoughts?"

Well, I certainly agree that people shouldn't be coerced into anything, but here I'm assuming you don't know that this woman feels trapped or threatened?

Doing something to please your partner isn't necessarily a bad thing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Watching couples in a club environment I would say more men than women are unhappy with their situation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Watching couples in a club environment I would say more men than women are unhappy with their situation.

"

Ouch

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I once met a lady of fab and she came over to mine with her partner and her partner asked me my ethnic background and he decided he doesn’t want her to have sex with me. I made them tea and they left.

She didn’t speak a single word. I still wonder what she sound like

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I agree, it's especially visible for me as a bi female, the 'elusive unicorn'. Some of the couples I talk to, it's the guy doing all the talking and the lady just goes along. Same when it comes down to playing.

On purpose, I don't meet any sub/dom couples as it would be even more forced, in my opinion- the woman doing things she does not necessarily enjoy just to satisfy her dom. "

Any chance we can chat privately? U seem to know ur stuff! Wud jus like some advice and guidence really im a bit new to the unicorn scene x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"It has crossed my mind on many occasion and i have often wondered; How many couples on here do what they do because they both genuinely enjoy it or does one partner simply go along with it to please their partner.

I met a woman for a social not too long ago and she spoke about how her preferences have changed.

To begin with it was different, it was fun but now she continues to play simply to please her partner.

I found that so sad to hear. I genuinely feel sorry for any individual who feels scared or trapped in a relationship who are frightened to say No and continue to swing even though they actually dislike what they do.

Thoughts?

Questions:

Was she married?

Was she financially stable?"

Yes she was married but i have no idea about her finance situation.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

I met a woman for a social not too long ago and she spoke about how her preferences have changed.

To begin with it was different, it was fun but now she continues to play simply to please her partner.

I found that so sad to hear. I genuinely feel sorry for any individual who feels scared or trapped in a relationship who are frightened to say No and continue to swing even though they actually dislike what they do.

Thoughts?

Well, I certainly agree that people shouldn't be coerced into anything, but here I'm assuming you don't know that this woman feels trapped or threatened?

Doing something to please your partner isn't necessarily a bad thing. "

I disagree with you on this one dude. In the case i experienced with this particular women; why should she have sex with other men (in a full swap scenario) and pretend to enjoy it when she clearly doesn't? Just to please her other half. Thats bullshit and sad. She says she tries to blank it out when it happens. Thats just wrong on so many levels.

Ive heard the term "take one for the team" but this is a whole new meaning.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve spoken to a lot of couples on here, and I’m still yet to find one where they both seem equally interested in the situation. There’s ALWAYS a dominant one that does most of the talking and arranging - and the other goes along with it, albeit enthusiastically

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We're a couple and we're both very much into everything we do. If one of us isn't happy, nothing happens. We discuss everything we're doing as a matter of course, and talk openly and honestly with each other. This applies to all aspects of our life, not just swinging.

And as for 'taking one for the team'...it's never going to happen.

There are plenty of genuine, equally invested couples out there, but we've also met quite a few who seem to have an underlying air of something not being quite right between them...the first sign of a couple not being solid together, or happy about what they're doing, we walk away.

V x

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor


"It has crossed my mind on many occasion and i have often wondered; How many couples on here do what they do because they both genuinely enjoy it or does one partner simply go along with it to please their partner.

I met a woman for a social not too long ago and she spoke about how her preferences have changed.

To begin with it was different, it was fun but now she continues to play simply to please her partner.

I found that so sad to hear. I genuinely feel sorry for any individual who feels scared or trapped in a relationship who are frightened to say No and continue to swing even though they actually dislike what they do.

Thoughts?"

Yeah that's pretty grim,but why feel sorry for them as it's their choice. If they really didn't want to do it then surely they would stop.

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By *ehind closed curtainsCouple
over a year ago

East Midlands

Don't know about needing counseling but some couples we have me certainly have some agenda going on between them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Unfortunately a lot of couples will repeat the mantra of "you don't understand it, we have a true, higher level of fully trusting love"

I'm just imagining that poor woman laying back with a far away look in her eye as some bloke has a fiddle to please good old hubby.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Reading this makes me think that sometimes it's easier to be single....

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor


"Reading this makes me think that sometimes it's easier to be single....

"

I agree

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Unfortunately a lot of couples will repeat the mantra of "you don't understand it, we have a true, higher level of fully trusting love"

I'm just imagining that poor woman laying back with a far away look in her eye as some bloke has a fiddle to please good old hubby."

Exactly this

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By *hoenixcouplexxCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire


"It has crossed my mind on many occasion and i have often wondered; How many couples on here do what they do because they both genuinely enjoy it or does one partner simply go along with it to please their partner.

I met a woman for a social not too long ago and she spoke about how her preferences have changed.

To begin with it was different, it was fun but now she continues to play simply to please her partner.

I found that so sad to hear. I genuinely feel sorry for any individual who feels scared or trapped in a relationship who are frightened to say No and continue to swing even though they actually dislike what they do.

Thoughts?"

Clearly if she felt unable to talk to her partner about how her preferences have changed or has and he chose not to listen then that's an issue that pre-existed in their relationship before swinging took place.

In our experience swinging will either male you or break you as a couple. Those where one is playing because of the other you can usually tell within a few minutes of meeting them.

Also D/s where the sub is forced into doing something they truly do not want to is not D/s, it's abuse dressed up as D/s.

In a truley loving D/s relationship the sub is the most precious person in the world to the Dominant and he will do everything he can to forfill her needs and make her happy as often as he possibly can.

Broken relationships are everywhere all around us. Swinging just makes them more visible to others.

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By *hoenixcouplexxCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

*make

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

I met a woman for a social not too long ago and she spoke about how her preferences have changed.

To begin with it was different, it was fun but now she continues to play simply to please her partner.

I found that so sad to hear. I genuinely feel sorry for any individual who feels scared or trapped in a relationship who are frightened to say No and continue to swing even though they actually dislike what they do.

Thoughts?

Well, I certainly agree that people shouldn't be coerced into anything, but here I'm assuming you don't know that this woman feels trapped or threatened?

Doing something to please your partner isn't necessarily a bad thing. "

I've experienced that It can be a bad thing, unfortunately. One couple were hosting a party. When time for play came, the wife locked herself in the bathroom and the husband was so annoyed that she wouldn't get involved, that he was shouting through the bathroom door that he was going to leave her. Then he stormed out. The other couples left, not long after and I was stuck there as I'd agreed to spend the night (it was a bit of a distance). She ended up coming into the spare bedroom, and talking to me for hours, where she confided a lot of things to me, crying the whole time. All I could do was comfort and reassure her, that she shouldn't do anything she wasn't comfortable with. After I left, I never heard from them again. That was my last couples meet. This was 4 years ago and I still wonder what happened to her and hope her situation is better than it was.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

I met a woman for a social not too long ago and she spoke about how her preferences have changed.

To begin with it was different, it was fun but now she continues to play simply to please her partner.

I found that so sad to hear. I genuinely feel sorry for any individual who feels scared or trapped in a relationship who are frightened to say No and continue to swing even though they actually dislike what they do.

Thoughts?

Well, I certainly agree that people shouldn't be coerced into anything, but here I'm assuming you don't know that this woman feels trapped or threatened?

Doing something to please your partner isn't necessarily a bad thing.

I've experienced that It can be a bad thing, unfortunately. One couple were hosting a party. When time for play came, the wife locked herself in the bathroom and the husband was so annoyed that she wouldn't get involved, that he was shouting through the bathroom door that he was going to leave her. Then he stormed out. The other couples left, not long after and I was stuck there as I'd agreed to spend the night (it was a bit of a distance). She ended up coming into the spare bedroom, and talking to me for hours, where she confided a lot of things to me, crying the whole time. All I could do was comfort and reassure her, that she shouldn't do anything she wasn't comfortable with. After I left, I never heard from them again. That was my last couples meet. This was 4 years ago and I still wonder what happened to her and hope her situation is better than it was.

"

Awww thats so bad, hope she was ok

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe


"It has crossed my mind on many occasion and i have often wondered; How many couples on here do what they do because they both genuinely enjoy it or does one partner simply go along with it to please their partner?"

I'm sure that there are several couples out there in that position. Sadly, there will always we coercion and abuse within some relationships.

For us, if one of us no longer wanted to swing, we would stop.

Fortunately, all those couples we've played with have seemed very happy and in this together.

Nita

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By *eziahWoman
over a year ago

Hull

This thread has made me tremendously sad.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

I met a woman for a social not too long ago and she spoke about how her preferences have changed.

To begin with it was different, it was fun but now she continues to play simply to please her partner.

I found that so sad to hear. I genuinely feel sorry for any individual who feels scared or trapped in a relationship who are frightened to say No and continue to swing even though they actually dislike what they do.

Thoughts?

Well, I certainly agree that people shouldn't be coerced into anything, but here I'm assuming you don't know that this woman feels trapped or threatened?

Doing something to please your partner isn't necessarily a bad thing.

I've experienced that It can be a bad thing, unfortunately. One couple were hosting a party. When time for play came, the wife locked herself in the bathroom and the husband was so annoyed that she wouldn't get involved, that he was shouting through the bathroom door that he was going to leave her. Then he stormed out. The other couples left, not long after and I was stuck there as I'd agreed to spend the night (it was a bit of a distance). She ended up coming into the spare bedroom, and talking to me for hours, where she confided a lot of things to me, crying the whole time. All I could do was comfort and reassure her, that she shouldn't do anything she wasn't comfortable with. After I left, I never heard from them again. That was my last couples meet. This was 4 years ago and I still wonder what happened to her and hope her situation is better than it was.

"

Rumour has it she’s selling bathroom doors with built in speakers that shout “fuck off ya wanker” when locked...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

I met a woman for a social not too long ago and she spoke about how her preferences have changed.

To begin with it was different, it was fun but now she continues to play simply to please her partner.

I found that so sad to hear. I genuinely feel sorry for any individual who feels scared or trapped in a relationship who are frightened to say No and continue to swing even though they actually dislike what they do.

Thoughts?

Well, I certainly agree that people shouldn't be coerced into anything, but here I'm assuming you don't know that this woman feels trapped or threatened?

Doing something to please your partner isn't necessarily a bad thing.

I've experienced that It can be a bad thing, unfortunately. One couple were hosting a party. When time for play came, the wife locked herself in the bathroom and the husband was so annoyed that she wouldn't get involved, that he was shouting through the bathroom door that he was going to leave her. Then he stormed out. The other couples left, not long after and I was stuck there as I'd agreed to spend the night (it was a bit of a distance). She ended up coming into the spare bedroom, and talking to me for hours, where she confided a lot of things to me, crying the whole time. All I could do was comfort and reassure her, that she shouldn't do anything she wasn't comfortable with. After I left, I never heard from them again. That was my last couples meet. This was 4 years ago and I still wonder what happened to her and hope her situation is better than it was.

"
their you have it the negative side of this life ,it can't stay exciting forever,I know a really happily married couple just starting out on this life ,I really like her we are good friends but she hasn't listened to me ,sometimes you've just got to find these things out for yourself ,I'm single I can do as I please but I've seen this life go wrong for many

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But there are plenty of couples that swinging works very well for. We started exploring the lifestyle nearly 5 years ago. Took us a couple of years to find our feet, and although it slowed a bit in the past year or so due to family commitments, swinging remains very much part of our lifestyle and neither of us can see that changing. No idea what others think of us - maybe some people think one of us is not truly up for it, who knows.

Mrs

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

We've socialised with couples where it's clear one or the other doesn't want to do it. It's usually the woman but sometimes the guy. It's fairly easy to pick up on because body language doesn't match verbal language. On one occasion we missed the signals and it led to a very awkward meet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It has crossed my mind on many occasion and i have often wondered; How many couples on here do what they do because they both genuinely enjoy it or does one partner simply go along with it to please their partner.

I met a woman for a social not too long ago and she spoke about how her preferences have changed.

To begin with it was different, it was fun but now she continues to play simply to please her partner.

I found that so sad to hear. I genuinely feel sorry for any individual who feels scared or trapped in a relationship who are frightened to say No and continue to swing even though they actually dislike what they do.

Thoughts?"
I just find it sad that I'm looking for a relationship in all the wrong places I mean the dark room at abfabs

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By *litzy-Red-DevilWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster


"Reading this makes me think that sometimes it's easier to be single....

"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Reading this makes me think that sometimes it's easier to be single....

"

Single here too, let's mingle..

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