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Married men. A survey

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By *inkyLondonpair OP   Couple
over a year ago

London

Purely in the interests of science and in no way having a go at married men or anyone else...

On another thread I was started there was some debate as to whether being openly attached lessens a married man's chances with couples and women.

So, couples and women who are single men only please. If a man is openly attached, what is your view

1. Won't meet hin

2. Less likely to meet him

3. More likely to meet him

4. Makes no difference.

Just type a number

We are probably 2. We have no settled principled objection, but because arranging meets is likely to be difficult and subject to sudden cancellation.

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By *inkyLondonpair OP   Couple
over a year ago

London

Couples and single women who see single men!

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By *inful xWoman
over a year ago

In a sleepy little village

4

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

2, much the same reasons as yourselves

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By *nvercoupleCouple
over a year ago

Inverness

4 maybe a 3

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

4

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

1

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By *ll 4 herCouple
over a year ago

Bury/Bolton

Mr says 2

Mrs says 4

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I accept you’re not having a go OP, but what is your ultimate goal with this?

The only logical conclusion I can see is to persuade more married people (men AND women) to hide the fact they are attached if the results suggest people are less likely to see them? What does that achieve?

And what about men or women in relationships (but not married) here behind their girlfriend / boyfriend / fiancés backs? Can that be part of the survey too?

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By *inkyLondonpair OP   Couple
over a year ago

London


"I accept you’re not having a go OP, but what is your ultimate goal with this?

The only logical conclusion I can see is to persuade more married people (men AND women) to hide the fact they are attached if the results suggest people are less likely to see them? What does that achieve?

And what about men or women in relationships (but not married) here behind their girlfriend / boyfriend / fiancés backs? Can that be part of the survey too?"

Believe it or not some people find the subject itself fascinating. There's no goal other than the pursuit of knowledge.

And yes, it can apply to all attached people.

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By *illy big bolloxMan
over a year ago

Newark

Well that is about 90% of FAB then

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I accept you’re not having a go OP, but what is your ultimate goal with this?

The only logical conclusion I can see is to persuade more married people (men AND women) to hide the fact they are attached if the results suggest people are less likely to see them? What does that achieve?

And what about men or women in relationships (but not married) here behind their girlfriend / boyfriend / fiancés backs? Can that be part of the survey too?

Believe it or not some people find the subject itself fascinating. There's no goal other than the pursuit of knowledge.

And yes, it can apply to all attached people. "

Well I’m straight so no interest in married men. Or single ones. But if we can include attached women then I’m a 4.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

1

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In a club 4

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By *mm_n_ZedCouple
over a year ago

Fareham

We're a 2 for the same reasons as the op

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By *oobyHotwifeWoman
over a year ago

Thurrock

4

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Draw the line on here when they tell me they can accomodate but only when the wife is out ! (yes it has happened).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

4

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

3 & 4 x

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By *amissCouple
over a year ago

chelmsford

1. Seen the devastating fallout from a cheating husband...

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By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

It's a 1 from us.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

1

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 26/01/18 15:33:31]

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By *rryTMan
over a year ago

Nottingham

I wonder how it plays out re role reversal

I'm more likely to meet a married lady

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So as far as I can see with the results so far, there are a few people saying 1, that they won’t meet attached people. These are the type of people that the ‘hidden’ cheaters that don’t disclose their marital status might try and ‘catch out’ and try and meet, but those that DO disclose their status will try to avoid.

And there are few people saying 4, that it doesn’t matter. These are the type of people that attached people who do disclose their marital status might try and meet.

So yes, the OP is right as “single” people would also get a look in with the group that said 4, so attached people who admit to it up front have a smaller pool of people to choose from when seeking meets.

But everyone already knew that beforehand anyway!

However, there is still a sizeable pool of people scoring 3 or 4 prepared to meet attached. And that’s why many choose to say they’re married on here - so they only meet people that are fully informed and consenting to meet people who cheat and hence avoid unnecessary drama and conflict.

So isn’t it actually better to disclose your status then OP?

Avoid upsetting those that don’t want to meet you, and only seek meets from those that are happy to meet you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

1

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By *inkyLondonpair OP   Couple
over a year ago

London


"So as far as I can see with the results so far, there are a few people saying 1, that they won’t meet attached people. These are the type of people that the ‘hidden’ cheaters that don’t disclose their marital status might try and ‘catch out’ and try and meet, but those that DO disclose their status will try to avoid.

And there are few people saying 4, that it doesn’t matter. These are the type of people that attached people who do disclose their marital status might try and meet.

So yes, the OP is right as “single” people would also get a look in with the group that said 4, so attached people who admit to it up front have a smaller pool of people to choose from when seeking meets.

But everyone already knew that beforehand anyway!

However, there is still a sizeable pool of people scoring 3 or 4 prepared to meet attached. And that’s why many choose to say they’re married on here - so they only meet people that are fully informed and consenting to meet people who cheat and hence avoid unnecessary drama and conflict.

So isn’t it actually better to disclose your status then OP?

Avoid upsetting those that don’t want to meet you, and only seek meets from those that are happy to meet you?

"

It's a small sample and some people gave more than one number, but thus far the percentage scores are as follows

Won't meet marrieds 26%

Less likely to meet marrieds 21%

More likely to meet marrieds 12%

No difference 41%

So, it is, on the whole a disadvantage saying you are openly attached. Nearly four times as many are put off by attached people as are attracted to them.

Or looked at another way, you more or less half your pool of likely meets if you say you are attached.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So as far as I can see with the results so far, there are a few people saying 1, that they won’t meet attached people. These are the type of people that the ‘hidden’ cheaters that don’t disclose their marital status might try and ‘catch out’ and try and meet, but those that DO disclose their status will try to avoid.

And there are few people saying 4, that it doesn’t matter. These are the type of people that attached people who do disclose their marital status might try and meet.

So yes, the OP is right as “single” people would also get a look in with the group that said 4, so attached people who admit to it up front have a smaller pool of people to choose from when seeking meets.

But everyone already knew that beforehand anyway!

However, there is still a sizeable pool of people scoring 3 or 4 prepared to meet attached. And that’s why many choose to say they’re married on here - so they only meet people that are fully informed and consenting to meet people who cheat and hence avoid unnecessary drama and conflict.

So isn’t it actually better to disclose your status then OP?

Avoid upsetting those that don’t want to meet you, and only seek meets from those that are happy to meet you?

It's a small sample and some people gave more than one number, but thus far the percentage scores are as follows

Won't meet marrieds 26%

Less likely to meet marrieds 21%

More likely to meet marrieds 12%

No difference 41%

So, it is, on the whole a disadvantage saying you are openly attached. Nearly four times as many are put off by attached people as are attracted to them.

Or looked at another way, you more or less half your pool of likely meets if you say you are attached. "

Yeah but I doubt that’s any great revelation to anyone. Loads of people write in big block capitals on their profiles NO MARRIED PEOPLE. I think all attached people who declare that on their profile know full well that it will limit their chances.

With the very limited sample so far, over half (53%) still say they’d meet. And 21%, although less likely, aren’t saying a definite no. Just that the logistics can be difficult.

So only one in 4 respondents so far have said definitely NO. 3 in 4 might, with 1 in 2 saying it doesn’t matter.

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By *illy big bolloxMan
over a year ago

Newark

It is what it is my lookout

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By *rGenuineMan
over a year ago

Purley


"4 "

God you look perfect x

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By *uriousCouple999Couple
over a year ago

edinburgh

1 Mrs x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

4. Couldn't care less

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

4, it's their business not mine.

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

[Removed by poster at 26/01/18 16:42:05]

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By *inandRussianCouple
over a year ago

lymm

Deffinetly 2

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

3

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By *ud and BryanCouple
over a year ago

Boston, Lincolnshire

4 their private lives are not our concern

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By *G CoupleCouple
over a year ago

kent

4

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m a

1

Or a 2 depending on whether it’s a dead marriage

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And I guess going on from that, i was pretty disgusted with the woman that slept with my ex.

Knowing he has a wife and kids I think it’s wank.

His loyalties should have been with me granted and he made that choice I get that.

But what happened to looking out for other woman.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

2.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have to say a 4

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

2

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

1

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"And I guess going on from that, i was pretty disgusted with the woman that slept with my ex.

Knowing he has a wife and kids I think it’s wank.

His loyalties should have been with me granted and he made that choice I get that.

But what happened to looking out for other woman.

"

He's the cheater not her.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"And I guess going on from that, i was pretty disgusted with the woman that slept with my ex.

Knowing he has a wife and kids I think it’s wank.

His loyalties should have been with me granted and he made that choice I get that.

But what happened to looking out for other woman.

He's the cheater not her. "

Totally

Didn’t say she was

I’m not laying the blame with the woman I’m simple saying it wrecked my life. My 33 year marriage in the bin.

Woman who knew he was married.

Sorry in my book it’s not ok and maybe that’s not a popular opinion but try walking in my shoes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Everyone entitled to their opinion hunni whether it's popular or not x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"And I guess going on from that, i was pretty disgusted with the woman that slept with my ex.

Knowing he has a wife and kids I think it’s wank.

His loyalties should have been with me granted and he made that choice I get that.

But what happened to looking out for other woman.

"

Why its his choice not to disclose

And loyalties are often misinterpreted

As for the woman some women dont look out for each other

If a person wants to cheat they will no matter how good the cake is at home

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"And I guess going on from that, i was pretty disgusted with the woman that slept with my ex.

Knowing he has a wife and kids I think it’s wank.

His loyalties should have been with me granted and he made that choice I get that.

But what happened to looking out for other woman.

He's the cheater not her.

Totally

Didn’t say she was

I’m not laying the blame with the woman I’m simple saying it wrecked my life. My 33 year marriage in the bin.

Woman who knew he was married.

Sorry in my book it’s not ok and maybe that’s not a popular opinion but try walking in my shoes. "

That's not good at all. Some times it's not that black and white though. If you thought your marriage was alive and well then it's a bad job. But like you said a dead marriage that has no chance of resuscitation is a different picture.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

1

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By *onnie And Clyde9070Couple
over a year ago

Leeds

Definitely a 1.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been cheated on myself so I know what it's like.

1 for me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"And I guess going on from that, i was pretty disgusted with the woman that slept with my ex.

Knowing he has a wife and kids I think it’s wank.

His loyalties should have been with me granted and he made that choice I get that.

But what happened to looking out for other woman.

He's the cheater not her.

Totally

Didn’t say she was

I’m not laying the blame with the woman I’m simple saying it wrecked my life. My 33 year marriage in the bin.

Woman who knew he was married.

Sorry in my book it’s not ok and maybe that’s not a popular opinion but try walking in my shoes. "

It's nothing to do with her, she's not obligated to anyone so really she can fuck who she wants

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By *ollyGWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

1, been there, done it, felt awful!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well 2.5 years later he’s still begging me to come back so go figure.

Anyway just my opinion.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"And I guess going on from that, i was pretty disgusted with the woman that slept with my ex.

Knowing he has a wife and kids I think it’s wank.

His loyalties should have been with me granted and he made that choice I get that.

But what happened to looking out for other woman.

He's the cheater not her.

Totally

Didn’t say she was

I’m not laying the blame with the woman I’m simple saying it wrecked my life. My 33 year marriage in the bin.

Woman who knew he was married.

Sorry in my book it’s not ok and maybe that’s not a popular opinion but try walking in my shoes.

It's nothing to do with her, she's not obligated to anyone so really she can fuck who she wants "

I guess my morals are stronger then hers.

I can cope with that

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