FabSwingers.com forum: Smashing her pastie

By *ecretpassion100 OP Couple
over a year ago

Walsall

Hi mr sp here i thought id share this saying with you as i heard it on another social site and thought it funny smashing her pastie goes down a storm ha ha way better than doing her back doors

So what are your funny names ha ha ...

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Personally I find both expressions pretty repulsive and not in the slightest bit funny

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By *ecretpassion100 OP Couple
over a year ago

Walsall

Oh so sorry if it offended you would sucking my rustie trumpet be ok

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By *ust PeachyWoman
over a year ago

Prestonish

Well I described my last meet as ‘fucking me like a demon’ in his veri! Is that the sort of thing you mean op?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

thats not a 'funny name'. its revolting, demeaning and really fucking puerile.

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By *ecretpassion100 OP Couple
over a year ago

Walsall

Best not mention eating her meat pie out then eh grumpy pants

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By *hatYorkLadMan
over a year ago

York

It's not something I'd use in seriousness, however go on YouTube and look up a song called "Smash ya pasty" by Buzzcocks, it's pretty funny in a schoolboy humour way

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By *razyhorse58Man
over a year ago

West Midlands

[Removed by poster at 14/01/18 23:42:58]

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By *ecretpassion100 OP Couple
over a year ago

Walsall

"Well I described my last meet as ‘fucking me like a demon’ in his veri! Is that the sort of thing you mean op?

"
yes hun thats right lol

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"Best not mention eating her meat pie out then eh grumpy pants

Why is it "grumpy" to object to something that you find distasteful? Not to mention demeaning and disrespectful?

And to pick up on Peachy's comment - there's a world of difference between a comment like "fucked me like a demon" and use of something derogatory like "smashed her back doors in"

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By *ecretpassion100 OP Couple
over a year ago

Walsall

New post coming real soon

Anyone on fab got a sense of humour ? Or would that just be me then pastie lovers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"New post coming real soon

Anyone on fab got a sense of humour ? Or would that just be me then pastie lovers

'humour' would indicate something funny...there was nothing funny in the post..

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By *ecretpassion100 OP Couple
over a year ago

Walsall

Also you dont see greggs complaining about the amount of pasties been smashed lol

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By *ecretpassion100 OP Couple
over a year ago

Walsall

"New post coming real soon

Anyone on fab got a sense of humour ? Or would that just be me then pastie lovers

'humour' would indicate something funny...there was nothing funny in the post.."
maybe not to you but it got your attention eh missy

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By *razyhorse58Man
over a year ago

West Midlands

"Also you dont see greggs complaining about the amount of pasties been smashed lol

Smashed a few festive bakes at Christmas lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Also you dont see greggs complaining about the amount of pasties been smashed lol

Was Greggs the name of the other site you mentioned that lots of people found the phrase, 'smashing her pastie in', funny ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well I'm laughing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For some reason I'm reading the OP's phrases in Micky Flanagan's voice.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"New post coming real soon

Anyone on fab got a sense of humour ? Or would that just be me then pastie lovers

Humour is subjective though OP - lots of people found Bernard Manning and Roy "Chubby" Brown funny but I didn't care for their brand of disrespectful and derogatory "humour" either

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By *ecretpassion100 OP Couple
over a year ago

Walsall

"Also you dont see greggs complaining about the amount of pasties been smashed lol

Was Greggs the name of the other site you mentioned that lots of people found the phrase, 'smashing her pastie in', funny ?

"
im guessing you bypass greggs quite often so i forgive your lack of knowledge in the smashing of the pastie ritual hun

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"New post coming real soon

Anyone on fab got a sense of humour ? Or would that just be me then pastie lovers

Humour is subjective though OP - lots of people found Bernard Manning and Roy "Chubby" Brown funny but I didn't care for their brand of disrespectful and derogatory "humour" either

They both look repulsive and creepy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Also you dont see greggs complaining about the amount of pasties been smashed lol

Was Greggs the name of the other site you mentioned that lots of people found the phrase, 'smashing her pastie in', funny ?

im guessing you bypass greggs quite often so i forgive your lack of knowledge in the smashing of the pastie ritual hun "

Ritual ? Oooh, how exotic

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

More than a little underwhelmed...

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"New post coming real soon

Anyone on fab got a sense of humour ? Or would that just be me then pastie lovers

Humour is subjective though OP - lots of people found Bernard Manning and Roy "Chubby" Brown funny but I didn't care for their brand of disrespectful and derogatory "humour" either

They both look repulsive and creepy."

Well double that and you'll be closer to just how repulsive and creepy they really were

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By *ecretpassion100 OP Couple
over a year ago

Walsall

So it seems most people now prefer

You may now enter and im arriving instead of give me your love chopper and get a waterproof sheet im about to blow ha ha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Also you dont see greggs complaining about the amount of pasties been smashed lol

They complained about something I did once. All over the local papers, it was

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"New post coming real soon

Anyone on fab got a sense of humour ? Or would that just be me then pastie lovers

Humour is subjective though OP - lots of people found Bernard Manning and Roy "Chubby" Brown funny but I didn't care for their brand of disrespectful and derogatory "humour" either

They both look repulsive and creepy.

Well double that and you'll be closer to just how repulsive and creepy they really were

You met them? They both used to make me feel ill.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"So it seems most people now prefer

You may now enter and im arriving instead of give me your love chopper and get a waterproof sheet im about to blow ha ha"

As I said earlier there's a fine line between sexy talk (for want of a better phrase) and derogatory phrases like those in your opening post

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By *ecretpassion100 OP Couple
over a year ago

Walsall

"More than a little underwhelmed..."
its ok you can stay in the cave until spring all is cool bud

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"New post coming real soon

Anyone on fab got a sense of humour ? Or would that just be me then pastie lovers

Humour is subjective though OP - lots of people found Bernard Manning and Roy "Chubby" Brown funny but I didn't care for their brand of disrespectful and derogatory "humour" either

They both look repulsive and creepy.

Well double that and you'll be closer to just how repulsive and creepy they really were

You met them? They both used to make me feel ill."

God no!! Seeing them occasionally when they popped up on TV was more than enough to make my skin crawl!!

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By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

More women hating spew again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So it seems most people now prefer

You may now enter and im arriving instead of give me your love chopper and get a waterproof sheet im about to blow ha ha

As I said earlier there's a fine line between sexy talk (for want of a better phrase) and derogatory phrases like those in your opening post

It's not sexy talk though. It's not meant to be sexy. It's for comedic value. I still can't get Micky Flanagan out of my head.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"New post coming real soon

Anyone on fab got a sense of humour ? Or would that just be me then pastie lovers

Humour is subjective though OP - lots of people found Bernard Manning and Roy "Chubby" Brown funny but I didn't care for their brand of disrespectful and derogatory "humour" either

They both look repulsive and creepy.

Well double that and you'll be closer to just how repulsive and creepy they really were

You met them? They both used to make me feel ill."

i used to work somewhere in the late 80's where they both performed several times, nasty ignorant pigs the pair of them, and their audiences were the same..they used to get in extra security when either of them, or jim davidson, played because of the drooling neanderthals that used to turn up..

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By *ecretpassion100 OP Couple
over a year ago

Walsall

[Removed by poster at 15/01/18 00:10:57]

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

It's quite funny in an Inbetweenery kind of way. Not an expression I would use though!!

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"So it seems most people now prefer

You may now enter and im arriving instead of give me your love chopper and get a waterproof sheet im about to blow ha ha

As I said earlier there's a fine line between sexy talk (for want of a better phrase) and derogatory phrases like those in your opening post

It's not sexy talk though. It's not meant to be sexy. It's for comedic value. I still can't get Micky Flanagan out of my head. "

Whatever it's purpose or useage I don't personally see it as anything but derogatory and the kind of thing a group of Neanderthals down the pub on a Friday night would use to describe an encounter

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By *ecretpassion100 OP Couple
over a year ago

Walsall

"It's quite funny in an Inbetweenery kind of way. Not an expression I would use though!!"
nor me at all just found it funny and people seem to lack the January laughter ha ha oh well xx

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By *ecretpassion100 OP Couple
over a year ago

Walsall

"So it seems most people now prefer

You may now enter and im arriving instead of give me your love chopper and get a waterproof sheet im about to blow ha ha

As I said earlier there's a fine line between sexy talk (for want of a better phrase) and derogatory phrases like those in your opening post

It's not sexy talk though. It's not meant to be sexy. It's for comedic value. I still can't get Micky Flanagan out of my head.

Whatever it's purpose or useage I don't personally see it as anything but derogatory and the kind of thing a group of Neanderthals down the pub on a Friday night would use to describe an encounter

"
so sorry victor meldew i dont bloody belive it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 15/01/18 00:15:36]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So it seems most people now prefer

You may now enter and im arriving instead of give me your love chopper and get a waterproof sheet im about to blow ha ha

As I said earlier there's a fine line between sexy talk (for want of a better phrase) and derogatory phrases like those in your opening post

It's not sexy talk though. It's not meant to be sexy. It's for comedic value. I still can't get Micky Flanagan out of my head.

Whatever it's purpose or useage I don't personally see it as anything but derogatory and the kind of thing a group of Neanderthals down the pub on a Friday night would use to describe an encounter

You would be surprised at what posh men say to each other.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I personally don't find the expression funny, but what is hilarious is the amount of people getting offended by it! Haha!

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By *revorAndTraceyCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle Upon Tyne

"Hi mr sp here i thought id share this saying with you as i heard it on another social site and thought it funny smashing her pastie goes down a storm ha ha way better than doing her back doors

So what are your funny names ha ha ... "
hahaha

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"So it seems most people now prefer

You may now enter and im arriving instead of give me your love chopper and get a waterproof sheet im about to blow ha ha

As I said earlier there's a fine line between sexy talk (for want of a better phrase) and derogatory phrases like those in your opening post

It's not sexy talk though. It's not meant to be sexy. It's for comedic value. I still can't get Micky Flanagan out of my head.

Whatever it's purpose or useage I don't personally see it as anything but derogatory and the kind of thing a group of Neanderthals down the pub on a Friday night would use to describe an encounter

You would be surprised at what posh men say to each other. "

Have you not heard of the Farquhar-Farquharson Neanderthals?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So it seems most people now prefer

You may now enter and im arriving instead of give me your love chopper and get a waterproof sheet im about to blow ha ha

As I said earlier there's a fine line between sexy talk (for want of a better phrase) and derogatory phrases like those in your opening post

It's not sexy talk though. It's not meant to be sexy. It's for comedic value. I still can't get Micky Flanagan out of my head.

Whatever it's purpose or useage I don't personally see it as anything but derogatory and the kind of thing a group of Neanderthals down the pub on a Friday night would use to describe an encounter

Or teenage lads

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By *ecretpassion100 OP Couple
over a year ago

Walsall

"I personally don't find the expression funny, but what is hilarious is the amount of people getting offended by it! Haha! "
my point exactly lol some people eh .. shall i call it the taming of the shrew lol

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By *ecretpassion100 OP Couple
over a year ago

Walsall

Just one thing here .. mrs sp is not happy about this post at all

She has just refused all pastie smash challenges tonight eeeek

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"I personally don't find the expression funny, but what is hilarious is the amount of people getting offended by it! Haha! "

Which if a number of people are offended by it, surely proves my original point that it's a repulsive and derogatory phrase?

An objection for which I might add I've been accused of being grumpy, lacking a sense of humour and Victor Meldrew - all for expressing an opinion that is shared by others

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I personally don't find the expression funny, but what is hilarious is the amount of people getting offended by it! Haha! my point exactly lol some people eh .. shall i call it the taming of the shrew lol"

so someone is a 'shrew' for objecting to vicious demeaning language about women? and of course 'shrew' isn't pejorative, patronising term at all..do you live in 1973?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just one thing here .. mrs sp is not happy about this post at all

She has just refused all pastie smash challenges tonight eeeek

Perhaps you should remind her to know her place?

She is, after all, an extremely lucky lady

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By *ecretpassion100 OP Couple
over a year ago

Walsall

so someone is a 'shrew' for objecting to vicious demeaning language about women? and of course 'shrew' isn't pejorative, patronising term at all..do you live in 1973? "
no i live at number 23 but no you wont ever get my full address you nawty lady

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By *ecretpassion100 OP Couple
over a year ago

Walsall

[Removed by poster at 15/01/18 00:35:01]

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By *ecretpassion100 OP Couple
over a year ago

Walsall

"I personally don't find the expression funny, but what is hilarious is the amount of people getting offended by it! Haha!

Which if a number of people are offended by it, surely proves my original point that it's a repulsive and derogatory phrase?

An objection for which I might add I've been accused of being grumpy, lacking a sense of humour and Victor Meldrew - all for expressing an opinion that is shared by others

"
yes you must be right you sound a happy chappie a must have at any party ?? yeah your the man

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So it seems most people now prefer

You may now enter and im arriving instead of give me your love chopper and get a waterproof sheet im about to blow ha ha

As I said earlier there's a fine line between sexy talk (for want of a better phrase) and derogatory phrases like those in your opening post

It's not sexy talk though. It's not meant to be sexy. It's for comedic value. I still can't get Micky Flanagan out of my head.

Whatever it's purpose or useage I don't personally see it as anything but derogatory and the kind of thing a group of Neanderthals down the pub on a Friday night would use to describe an encounter

You would be surprised at what posh men say to each other.

Have you not heard of the Farquhar-Farquharson Neanderthals?

Directors chatting over brandy and cigars have filthy mouths

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi mr sp here i thought id share this saying with you as i heard it on another social site and thought it funny smashing her pastie goes down a storm ha ha way better than doing her back doors

So what are your funny names ha ha ... "

What about the term 'buttering her cheesy mash'??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well if nothing else op your answers had me in stitches made a good read

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

Yep can't believe I just read all that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"For some reason I'm reading the OP's phrases in Micky Flanagan's voice. "

I had Frankie Boyle in my head!

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By *iliciousCouple
over a year ago

Sussex/Surrey

Personally find all that kind of language a total turn off. Same as things like “I destroyed / ruined her” etc. It’s brought from gang culture and insidiously introduces violence and misogyny into sex. Personally feel that Fab should ban those phrases for that reason.

Now ready to be told about no “sense of humour” etc etc yawn

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Personally find all that kind of language a total turn off. Same as things like “I destroyed / ruined her” etc. It’s brought from gang culture and insidiously introduces violence and misogyny into sex. Personally feel that Fab should ban those phrases for that reason.

Now ready to be told about no “sense of humour” etc etc yawn"

I agree. Its revolting and a little bit sad

Especially coming from middle aged men

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Now ready to be told about no “sense of humour” etc etc yawn"

Welcome to the club

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By *iliciousCouple
over a year ago

Sussex/Surrey

Btw our post was written by the middle aged man

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Now ready to be told about no “sense of humour” etc etc yawn"

They should ban the use of the word clitty too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Suppose it would be funny if I was a 14 year old boy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It sounds so wrong no thanks

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"Suppose it would be funny if I was a 14 year old boy

Exactly - having actually thought about it overnight (and I stand by everything I said above still) the ONLY time I can think phrases like that would be funny would be, as Lady Lick suggested further upthread, in an Inbetweeners type way where you're laughing AT the person using them (rather than the phrase itself) in an "I really can't believe you just said that" kind of way and even then there's a fine balance in context.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Humour is subjective, I may think Lee Evans is the funniest stand up comedian but the next person might hate him.

However I'd never be so arrogant as to claim someone was grumpy or lacked humour just because we didn't find the same thing humorous.

Think it's a step too far to go all offended by it, stepping onto millennial snowflake territory there but surely as adults we can accept others just have different opinions.

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By *iliciousCouple
over a year ago

Sussex/Surrey

"Humour is subjective, I may think Lee Evans is the funniest stand up comedian but the next person might hate him.

However I'd never be so arrogant as to claim someone was grumpy or lacked humour just because we didn't find the same thing humorous.

Think it's a step too far to go all offended by it, stepping onto millennial snowflake territory there but surely as adults we can accept others just have different opinions. "

Sure others have opinions. But there is nothing wrong with being offended by them. Because if I can’t do that then that’s being allowed to express my opinion is it?

In this case however we aren’t talking simply about others’ opinions. We are talking about whether it is civilised to talk in violent, derogatory and mysoginustic terms.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

so someone is a 'shrew' for objecting to vicious demeaning language about women? and of course 'shrew' isn't pejorative, patronising term at all..do you live in 1973? no i live at number 23 but no you wont ever get my full address you nawty lady

That was the best reply I’ve read in a long time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had to double check your age then OP, I was about to report an underage profile...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I had to double check your age then OP, I was about to report an underage profile... "

I thought it was funny

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

a pastie is sealed ,a kebab would be more life like should you be drawing one .

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By *ecretpassion100 OP Couple
over a year ago

Walsall

"Well if nothing else op your answers had me in stitches made a good read

"
this post was designed to split option from victor meldrew to frosty pants in aberdeen they all coment i thought it funny others dont but we cant please everyone happy days of the furum and more entertaining than suck fuck avoid or whats for tea posts lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"a pastie is sealed ,a kebab would be more life like should you be drawing one ."

Mine looks like squashed slugs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Personally I find both expressions pretty repulsive and not in the slightest bit funny

Likewise

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"a pastie is sealed ,a kebab would be more life like should you be drawing one ."

That would also depend on your labia size and protrusion. And, spread or closed. They don't all look the same.

Or is a pastie the anus?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So it seems most people now prefer

You may now enter and im arriving instead of give me your love chopper and get a waterproof sheet im about to blow ha ha

As I said earlier there's a fine line between sexy talk (for want of a better phrase) and derogatory phrases like those in your opening post

It's not sexy talk though. It's not meant to be sexy. It's for comedic value. I still can't get Micky Flanagan out of my head.

Whatever it's purpose or useage I don't personally see it as anything but derogatory and the kind of thing a group of Neanderthals down the pub on a Friday night would use to describe an encounter

"
I'd like to defend Neanderthal man here.. He was a highly intellegent spieces it's derogatory to typecast him as thick

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I thought it was a funny saying but then I’m a child and I still snigger at the words pussy and erect and don’t get me started on the number 69

Geeky x

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By *ecretpassion100 OP Couple
over a year ago

Walsall

"So it seems most people now prefer

You may now enter and im arriving instead of give me your love chopper and get a waterproof sheet im about to blow ha ha

As I said earlier there's a fine line between sexy talk (for want of a better phrase) and derogatory phrases like those in your opening post

It's not sexy talk though. It's not meant to be sexy. It's for comedic value. I still can't get Micky Flanagan out of my head.

Whatever it's purpose or useage I don't personally see it as anything but derogatory and the kind of thing a group of Neanderthals down the pub on a Friday night would use to describe an encounter

I'd like to defend Neanderthal man here.. He was a highly intellegent spieces it's derogatory to typecast him as thick

"
you defence of the higher species has been noted .. thank you for steping up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This thread has made me realise how many snowflakes there are on here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This thread has made me realise how many snowflakes there are on here"

can i ask why you think its wrong for some women, and men apparently, find it offensive to talk about women and their genitalia like that? is there nothing at all , anywhere, that has ever offended you?...

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By *lkDomWhtSubBiCpleCouple
over a year ago

Somewhere / Everywhere /Kinksville

"This thread has made me realise how many snowflakes there are on here

What’s a snowflake please

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This thread has made me realise how many snowflakes there are on here

What’s a snowflake please

it's the new 'insult' used to describe anyone who objects to racist, sexist and generally vile comments...apparently too weak and feeble to grasp that such things are side splittingly hilarious!

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By *onnie And Clyde9070Couple
over a year ago

Leeds

"This thread has made me realise how many snowflakes there are on here"

It's a good job wintery showers have been forecast for tonight then. They'll be well hidden.

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By *lkDomWhtSubBiCpleCouple
over a year ago

Somewhere / Everywhere /Kinksville

"This thread has made me realise how many snowflakes there are on here

What’s a snowflake please

it's the new 'insult' used to describe anyone who objects to racist, sexist and generally vile comments...apparently too weak and feeble to grasp that such things are side splittingly hilarious!"

Ooh right e ooo.

I must be a snowflake then. And while Sir rarely reads let alone comments in forums, I know he would disagree on some of these things too. I’ll be sure to let him know his new name is snowflake / hey it suits him

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By *onnie And Clyde9070Couple
over a year ago

Leeds

Now ready to be told about no “sense of humour” etc etc yawn

They should ban the use of the word clitty too. "

Sorry but this made us laugh. We pictured a guy in the dark, under the covers, moving around aimlessly saying "here clitty clitty" lol.

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By *iss GalitzineWoman
over a year ago

Near Bath

"Just one thing here .. mrs sp is not happy about this post at all

She has just refused all pastie smash challenges tonight eeeek

Perhaps you should remind her to know her place?

She is, after all, an extremely lucky lady"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

your ages, are they correct? just seems to be a very immature thread to start

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thought it was about cornish pasties .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh so sorry if it offended you would sucking my rustie trumpet be ok

I don't find it funny either and it does not offend me its bloody stupid.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

M calls my lady garden a love pocket Hahahaha.

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

"New post coming real soon

Anyone on fab got a sense of humour ? Or would that just be me then pastie lovers

Lots of us have a sense of humour. It appears to not always match yours though.

That in itself doesn't mean we are humourless.

But then I guess people who like derogatory ways of describing sex wouldn't get that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just read some of the replies on here and wow. The fun police are out tonight.

I would love someone to explain to me, how anyone is being demeaning or vicious towards women?

I’m actually sat here laughing at smashing your pasty and I’m a woman.

Call me immature or whatever, but my god.

L x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We've heard worse, it's a bit laddish, and it makes one wonder what sort of mind concocted such a phrase.

If anything, it's one of those sayings that makes you chuckle at how crass it is, rather than how humourous.

I think one of the most crass verbiage directed at Rea, was a young stud who told her he has was going to destroy her pussy.

Didn't happen.????

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By *nnocent and RaunchyCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester /London

Done a few cream horns in my time... And rolled with some succulent sausages. Never fucked a Greg though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just read some of the replies on here and wow. The fun police are out tonight.

I would love someone to explain to me, how anyone is being demeaning or vicious towards women?

I’m actually sat here laughing at smashing your pasty and I’m a woman.

Call me immature or whatever, but my god.

L x"

I didn’t think anyone was being demeaning or vicious to women either.

It made me laugh too.

People say all sorts of different things to describe having sex.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I was single I would get all the bad chat up lines and they used to make me laugh.

My favourite one is “have you got pet insurance?”, “no, why?”, “well, I’m gonna destroy that pussy”.

First time I read that, I fell about laughing. I just find it funny, not demeaning, derogatory or vicious.

L x

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By *edoriartyCouple
over a year ago

Peterborough

This threads not making me laugh, it is making me hungry though.

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By *ecretpassion100 OP Couple
over a year ago

Walsall

Pastie boy popping in

Well mrs sp finally let me smash hwr pastie tonight happy days .. tomorrow ive asked if i can bury my bun in her love oven lmao whole new thread for victor and frosty pants to get there teeth into after the w.i meeting and trainspotting weekly read eh vic ..dont bloody belive it ?? Love oven coming soon to a thread near you

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By *ecretpassion100 OP Couple
over a year ago

Walsall

"Just read some of the replies on here and wow. The fun police are out tonight.

I would love someone to explain to me, how anyone is being demeaning or vicious towards women?

I’m actually sat here laughing at smashing your pasty and I’m a woman.

Call me immature or whatever, but my god.

L x

I didn’t think anyone was being demeaning or vicious to women either.

It made me laugh too.

People say all sorts of different things to describe having sex.

"
you get the golden pastie award for actually embracing the new smash and grab lol xx

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By *aturetemptressWoman
over a year ago

Knutsford

My date last night was jerkin his gherkin

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By *uttyandbeeCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

"It's not something I'd use in seriousness, however go on YouTube and look up a song called "Smash ya pasty" by Buzzcocks, it's pretty funny in a schoolboy humour way

"
The Buzzcocks also sang the classic Orgasm addict.

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By *r PoliteMan
over a year ago

Long Eaton

"This thread has made me realise how many snowflakes there are on here

What’s a snowflake please

it's the new 'insult' used to describe anyone who objects to racist, sexist and generally vile comments...apparently too weak and feeble to grasp that such things are side splittingly hilarious!"

Just a minor detail, but i think snowflake is someone deemed to be overly sensitive and easy to become offended. But that could be for any number of reasons. Things usually escalate when snowflakes reach 'triggered' condition..

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By *r PoliteMan
over a year ago

Long Eaton

I once damaged a porkpie. It didnt really create a scene, but im no longer welcome in Melton Mowbray..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I could hear the young teen hoodies from next door talking in there driveway about a girl.

One of them said to the other one that when he sees his girlfriend he's going to plow her stench trench with his wrench.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well if nothing else op your answers had me in stitches made a good read

this post was designed to split option from victor meldrew to frosty pants in aberdeen they all coment i thought it funny others dont but we cant please everyone happy days of the furum and more entertaining than suck fuck avoid or whats for tea posts lol

Definitely entertaining don’t see how people have got so offended it was never aimed at anyone. Nope definitely can’t please everyone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This thread has made me realise how many snowflakes there are on here

What’s a snowflake please

it's the new 'insult' used to describe anyone who objects to racist, sexist and generally vile comments...apparently too weak and feeble to grasp that such things are side splittingly hilarious!

Ooh right e ooo.

No ignore her. A snowflake is someone who is easily offended by anything and throw ‘sexist’ and ‘racist’ around like Monopoly money

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By *ecretpassion100 OP Couple
over a year ago

Walsall

All power to the pasty smashers and stench trench crew and im so sorry melton mobery refused your entry bud ... im sure there will be an opening in the town of scratchy fanny down cornwall soon

Have to pop out now going to meet my mate ivor hardon ...

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By *icky-discoMan
over a year ago

oxford

"All power to the pasty smashers and stench trench crew and im so sorry melton mobery refused your entry bud ... im sure there will be an opening in the town of scratchy fanny down cornwall soon

Have to pop out now going to meet my mate ivor hardon ... "

I found it funny

you are a very naughty boy but I like you

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By *ecretpassion100 OP Couple
over a year ago

Walsall

So as every post must have a sequel mine will include

Attacking the pink fortress and that old chesnut assult with a friendly weapon ...

Happy pastie smashing day folks lets get our meat and potato warmed and ready

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By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

I wonder what happened in your life to make you disrespect and hate women so much?

I know I know, you’re going to deny it and spout some stuff about loving your other half but to use abusive and violent language against women, moreso in jest, shows just how much you detest women. Could it be fear though? Negative language often comes from fear, it’s common with something that is scary or unknown.

I’m sad that you’ve not had positive role models nor the education to understand that what you’re doing is hateful and hurtful, you have my sympathy and I hope that one day, you’ll realise.

Peace.

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By *icky-discoMan
over a year ago

oxford

"I wonder what happened in your life to make you disrespect and hate women so much?

I’m sad that you’ve not had positive role models nor the education to understand that what you’re doing is hateful and hurtful, you have my sympathy and I hope that one day, you’ll realise.

Peace. "

Am I still sleeping and have dreamt this response

in the words of John McEnroe you cannot be serious

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By *ecretpassion100 OP Couple
over a year ago

Walsall

"I wonder what happened in your life to make you disrespect and hate women so much?

I’m sad that you’ve not had positive role models nor the education to understand that what you’re doing is hateful and hurtful, you have my sympathy and I hope that one day, you’ll realise.

Peace. "
ahh bless love this response hun how long have you not had your pastie smashed and you're trap doors opened xx

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By *ecretpassion100 OP Couple
over a year ago

Walsall

"I wonder what happened in your life to make you disrespect and hate women so much?

I’m sad that you’ve not had positive role models nor the education to understand that what you’re doing is hateful and hurtful, you have my sympathy and I hope that one day, you’ll realise.

Peace. "
i also note you hate smokers whoops i smash a pastie and smoke to the gallows with me xx

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By *r PoliteMan
over a year ago

Long Eaton

Wow, so much unbridled anger here..

If you look closely at the OP, youll see the the question was effectively 'what funny names do you know'

Yet there seems to be a few who have ignored that and set about a righteous crusade.

For the record, its not a phrase i wouls use, but it doesnt upset me because its superficial and doesnt warrant a triggered rage from white knights and princesses. Chill peeps...

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By *lkDomWhtSubBiCpleCouple
over a year ago

Somewhere / Everywhere /Kinksville

"Wow, so much unbridled anger here..

If you look closely at the OP, youll see the the question was effectively 'what funny names do you know'

Yet there seems to be a few who have ignored that and set about a righteous crusade.

For the record, its not a phrase i wouls use, but it doesnt upset me because its superficial and doesnt warrant a triggered rage from white knights and princesses. Chill peeps...

Some think it’s funny and some don’t. It’s all a bit Keith Lemon / schoolboy humour to me, so not funny.

Either way people are entitled to contribute to the thread. What annoys me are those in the forum that go round telling others what to write, or not to write or not to post.

What were you saying

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By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

"Wow, so much unbridled anger here..

If you look closely at the OP, youll see the the question was effectively 'what funny names do you know'

Yet there seems to be a few who have ignored that and set about a righteous crusade.

For the record, its not a phrase i wouls use, but it doesnt upset me because its superficial and doesnt warrant a triggered rage from white knights and princesses. Chill peeps...

Ah, another man who doesn’t understand how that sort of language objectifies women and keeps women

firmly as lesser beings. It’s ok, I understand, you just don’t know the difference yet but one day, when such language is applied to one you love dearly and hurts them, you’ll see.

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By *r PoliteMan
over a year ago

Long Eaton

"Wow, so much unbridled anger here..

If you look closely at the OP, youll see the the question was effectively 'what funny names do you know'

Yet there seems to be a few who have ignored that and set about a righteous crusade.

For the record, its not a phrase i wouls use, but it doesnt upset me because its superficial and doesnt warrant a triggered rage from white knights and princesses. Chill peeps...

Ah, another man who doesn’t understand how that sort of language objectifies women and keeps women

firmly as lesser beings. It’s ok, I understand, you just don’t know the difference yet but one day, when such language is applied to one you love dearly and hurts them, you’ll see. "

Nope, not in the slightest.

'Smash' is a commonly used phrase amongst the yiunger generation. It is generic. E.g. went to the gym today, smashed my biceps. Went to the cafe this morning, smashed a full english. Went cycling, smashed my PB for a 30k road race. Etc.

Also, as mentioned, pastie not something i say, but have heard many euphormisms for female bits. My 'go to' is tuppence or lady friend. Although accurate, I find vagina clinical and cold. Pussy is common in my generation yet hackneyed to death and un-original. Im sure weve all heard hundreds of slang terms for genitalia in common use, whether thse terms are endearing/horny/funny are down to those using them (including the recipient) Others may find them offputting or offensive. Its all subjective...

One thing for certain is you should try a different tactic the sarcasm of telling me that one day i might grow up and adopt the same moral compass as you. How sanctimonious and stuck up...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Filling the sausage wallet

Stroking the bearded clam

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By *ecretpassion100 OP Couple
over a year ago

Walsall

Loving the imput guys smashing this pastie thread lol i so love the serious folks here .. its fab not jeremy paxman ha ha xx

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By *ecretpassion100 OP Couple
over a year ago

Walsall

"Filling the sausage wallet

Stroking the bearded clam"
filling the saugage wallet see serious imput yeah love it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

After all it’s just a bit of a laugh. Up here in Scotland you hear all kinds of things every day and you just gotta laugh at some of them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

“How big is yer cock pal”

“Let’s just say, ma nicknames Black & Decker the fanny wrecker”

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By *rishman75Man
over a year ago

Chessington/epsom

The keyboard warriors are out in full force here

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By *ecretpassion100 OP Couple
over a year ago

Walsall

Update

Entering the top ten today is ...... shaking the sherbert dib dab lol xxx

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By *r PoliteMan
over a year ago

Long Eaton

[Removed by poster at 16/01/18 09:05:26]

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

For the record I am neither easily offended nor have I once in this thread directly suggested anything is either racist or sexist, nor am I angry, nor have I thrown out insults to defend my opinion as others have done.

ALL I have done is state my personal opinion that I don't find the phrases used in the OP particularly funny, and in fact find them pretty repulsive - yet for that I have been pilloried by some not only in this thread but in another too.

Humour is of course subjective and what one person may find funny another may not but when that "humour" is derogatory and demeaning, I just fail to see how it's funny.

The possible exception, as I mentioned upthread, and the ONLY context I can possibly think of where those kind of phrases would be funny would be in an Inbetweeners type way where you're laughing AT the person using them because of the ridiculous childishness of the comment - make of that what you will but I'll continue to defend my right to offer an opinion.

And for those that accuse me of white knighting here - given that I was the first person to reply to this thread am not sure which "damsel in distress" I am supposed to have been rushing to the rescue of?!

I daresay more mild insults will follow as a result of this post along the lines of calling me grumpy, humourless and Victor Meldrew - all for offering an opinion, which is what forums are for after all

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By *r PoliteMan
over a year ago

Long Eaton

[Removed by poster at 16/01/18 09:06:36]

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By *r PoliteMan
over a year ago

Long Eaton

Lets hope no body looks up the lyrics to a song called 'foxtrot, uniform, char lee, kilo' by the bloodhound gang... just sayin...

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By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

"Wow, so much unbridled anger here..

If you look closely at the OP, youll see the the question was effectively 'what funny names do you know'

Yet there seems to be a few who have ignored that and set about a righteous crusade.

For the record, its not a phrase i wouls use, but it doesnt upset me because its superficial and doesnt warrant a triggered rage from white knights and princesses. Chill peeps...

Ah, another man who doesn’t understand how that sort of language objectifies women and keeps women

firmly as lesser beings. It’s ok, I understand, you just don’t know the difference yet but one day, when such language is applied to one you love dearly and hurts them, you’ll see.

Nope, not in the slightest.

One thing for certain is you should try a different tactic the sarcasm of telling me that one day i might grow up and adopt the same moral compass as you. How sanctimonious and stuck up..."

No, no sarcasm from me, why the anger? Are you so angry at women that you equate smashing a workout and food to another human being?

You ignored smashing the house up or smashing ones face in. Are they not relevant?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I still can’t understand how anyone is hating on women here

Being a woman myself, I don’t find it disrespectful in the slightest. It’s a joke. That’s all it is. How can anyone come to the conclusion that he hates women? Jesus Lord Mary and Joseph.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I still can’t understand how anyone is hating on women here

Being a woman myself, I don’t find it disrespectful in the slightest. It’s a joke. That’s all it is. How can anyone come to the conclusion that he hates women? Jesus Lord Mary and Joseph.

Ahh the chosen one has spoken. Finally some sense has been seen. You shall be rewarded with a swift “ pasty smash” for your efforts

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I still can’t understand how anyone is hating on women here

Being a woman myself, I don’t find it disrespectful in the slightest. It’s a joke. That’s all it is. How can anyone come to the conclusion that he hates women? Jesus Lord Mary and Joseph.

Blaming someone's upbringing too. That's insulting to people's parents and a cheap dig.

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By *r PoliteMan
over a year ago

Long Eaton

"Wow, so much unbridled anger here..

If you look closely at the OP, youll see the the question was effectively 'what funny names do you know'

Yet there seems to be a few who have ignored that and set about a righteous crusade.

For the record, its not a phrase i wouls use, but it doesnt upset me because its superficial and doesnt warrant a triggered rage from white knights and princesses. Chill peeps...

Ah, another man who doesn’t understand how that sort of language objectifies women and keeps women

firmly as lesser beings. It’s ok, I understand, you just don’t know the difference yet but one day, when such language is applied to one you love dearly and hurts them, you’ll see.

Nope, not in the slightest.

One thing for certain is you should try a different tactic the sarcasm of telling me that one day i might grow up and adopt the same moral compass as you. How sanctimonious and stuck up...

No, no sarcasm from me, why the anger? Are you so angry at women that you equate smashing a workout and food to another human being?

You ignored smashing the house up or smashing ones face in. Are they not relevant?"

Love the reverse psych attempt. Im not angry at all. Well, not in a way thats relevant here anyway.

'To smash' simply means 'to complete/finish/acheive with enthusiasm' it doesnt actually mean to damage or destroy. Much like you dont actually destroy a dance floor simply because you dance well. It gets applied to all sorts of circumstance.

Also, please dont shoot the messenger. I didnt create the phrase. I just hear it in common use.

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By *aughtycouple1008Couple
over a year ago

west london

"Oh so sorry if it offended you would sucking my rustie trumpet be ok

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By *aughtycouple1008Couple
over a year ago

west london

I think its funny op. On Fab you will find a small minority who love to moan and judge and large it behind there keyboards....live and let live. If you dont like it then move on....but no not here....lol

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By *lkDomWhtSubBiCpleCouple
over a year ago

Somewhere / Everywhere /Kinksville

"I think its funny op. On Fab you will find a small minority who love to moan and judge and large it behind there keyboards....live and let live. If you dont like it then move on....but no not here....lol"

On the contrary and from threads I’ve just read that you post to, we don’t always agree with the OP.

Not finding something funny does not make a person a keyboard warrior.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi mr sp here i thought id share this saying with you as i heard it on another social site and thought it funny smashing her pastie goes down a storm ha ha way better than doing her back doors

So what are your funny names ha ha ... "

Pasty is vagina

Back doors is arse.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 16/01/18 09:44:49]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's of a Keith Lemon type of humour which I have to say makes me wince . I am a humourless, white knightess, keyboard warrior husk of a woman for admitting that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I prefer my pasty piping hot with HP sauce.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

M is gonna smash my pasty later.

Damn it, I must hate myself right now

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By *aughtycouple1008Couple
over a year ago

west london

On the contrary and from threads I’ve just read that you post to, we don’t always agree with the OP.

Not finding something funny does not make a person a keyboard warrior. "

You are correct. But some people get rude and thats wrong. I was referring to those type of people

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By *ecretpassion100 OP Couple
over a year ago

Walsall

"It's of a Keith Lemon type of humour which I have to say makes me wince . I am a humourless, white knightess, keyboard warrior husk of a woman for admitting that.

"
thanks least you admit no pasties in your cupboard hun xx

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By *aughtycouple1008Couple
over a year ago

west london

I want to fill my wifes pitta bread with my sheesh kebab...lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

M is gonna fill my love pocket with his love stick.

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By *ecretpassion100 OP Couple
over a year ago

Walsall

"M is gonna smash my pasty later.

Damn it, I must hate myself right now

"
bring on the baker lol xx

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By *lkDomWhtSubBiCpleCouple
over a year ago

Somewhere / Everywhere /Kinksville

"I want to fill my wifes pitta bread with my sheesh kebab...lol"

Why didn’t you say. You can’t beat a good kebab !

Stop it I’m not playing this game

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By *aughtycouple1008Couple
over a year ago

west london

"I want to fill my wifes pitta bread with my sheesh kebab...lol

Why didn’t you say. You can’t beat a good kebab !

Stop it I’m not playing this game

With all the sauces lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"New post coming real soon

Anyone on fab got a sense of humour ? Or would that just be me then pastie lovers

I love pasties......just saying

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By *r PoliteMan
over a year ago

Long Eaton

i feel that this link maybe somewhat divisive....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m2hImVwR_ME

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i feel that this link maybe somewhat divisive....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m2hImVwR_ME"

Can you tell me about it. I can’t be bothered to copy and paste

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By *ecretpassion100 OP Couple
over a year ago

Walsall

"i feel that this link maybe somewhat divisive....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m2hImVwR_ME"
top man now were talking lol

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By *r PoliteMan
over a year ago

Long Eaton

[Removed by poster at 16/01/18 10:08:07]

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

I don't think ive ever tried a pastie. Is it the same as a bridie? I'll stick with sausage rolls I think. Oh I like a steak bake too. Not really the point of the thread,I know. I'm hungry

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"i feel that this link maybe somewhat divisive....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m2hImVwR_ME"

Now you see that is actually quite funny as it's meant ironically and is mostly innuendo based than anything, and certainly not as repulsive as phrases like "smashing her pastie" or "doing her back doors in" that have been used in this thread.

Which comes back to my comment about context and levels of acceptability - there are some phrases used sexually which are funny - "playing the pink trombone" is a good example, but there's a fine line between acceptable and derogatory and for me (and I'm not alone it seems) some of the phrases used in this thread cross that line

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By *r PoliteMan
over a year ago

Long Eaton

"Wow, so much unbridled anger here..

If you look closely at the OP, youll see the the question was effectively 'what funny names do you know'

Yet there seems to be a few who have ignored that and set about a righteous crusade.

For the record, its not a phrase i wouls use, but it doesnt upset me because its superficial and doesnt warrant a triggered rage from white knights and princesses. Chill peeps...

Some think it’s funny and some don’t. It’s all a bit Keith Lemon / schoolboy humour to me, so not funny.

Either way people are entitled to contribute to the thread. What annoys me are those in the forum that go round telling others what to write, or not to write or not to post.

What were you saying

lol, fair play, I wasn't attempting to instruct people, more of an appeal to not let things turn into a riot. Its when people ignore the topic and have a go at the person things start to get wonky and argumentative because wires get crossed. It all goes a bit jezza kyle..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The whole point of the post is what juvenile saying have you heard that was amusing or purely infantile like parting the beef curtains. No one uses them in real life they sound bad and are meant to make you gasp and say eughh. But in the end snigger a little and wonder about the mentality required of anyone who might. The P C brigade are out in force here if the post wasn’t for you why comment on it just ignore and if you truly believed those who posted on it were sad little individuals with a bad sense of humour BLOCK. I prefer a bridie myself

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By *aughtycouple1008Couple
over a year ago

west london

"The whole point of the post is what juvenile saying have you heard that was amusing or purely infantile like parting the beef curtains. No one uses them in real life they sound bad and are meant to make you gasp and say eughh. But in the end snigger a little and wonder about the mentality required of anyone who might. The P C brigade are out in force here if the post wasn’t for you why comment on it just ignore and if you truly believed those who posted on it were sad little individuals with a bad sense of humour BLOCK. I prefer a bridie myself"

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By *iliciousCouple
over a year ago

Sussex/Surrey

"Wow, so much unbridled anger here..

If you look closely at the OP, youll see the the question was effectively 'what funny names do you know'

Yet there seems to be a few who have ignored that and set about a righteous crusade.

For the record, its not a phrase i wouls use, but it doesnt upset me because its superficial and doesnt warrant a triggered rage from white knights and princesses. Chill peeps...

Ah, another man who doesn’t understand how that sort of language objectifies women and keeps women

firmly as lesser beings. It’s ok, I understand, you just don’t know the difference yet but one day, when such language is applied to one you love dearly and hurts them, you’ll see.

Nope, not in the slightest.

One thing for certain is you should try a different tactic the sarcasm of telling me that one day i might grow up and adopt the same moral compass as you. How sanctimonious and stuck up...

No, no sarcasm from me, why the anger? Are you so angry at women that you equate smashing a workout and food to another human being?

You ignored smashing the house up or smashing ones face in. Are they not relevant?

Love the reverse psych attempt. Im not angry at all. Well, not in a way thats relevant here anyway.

Also, please dont shoot the messenger. I didnt create the phrase. I just hear it in common use."

I wonder where you got your definitions from? Google any dictionary you like (apart from the urban dictionary)

“Definition of smash - violently break (something) into pieces, move so as to hit or collide with something with great force and impact”

Sure it is used commonly in terms of say “smashed a world record” or similar, but it’s a leap to use it in the context of sex - and personally I think it isn’t an appropriate term to use when describing any kind of interaction with another human being.

Having said that I accept the OP used it as a jokey term. Still not one I agree with but there we are.

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By *r PoliteMan
over a year ago

Long Eaton

"i feel that this link maybe somewhat divisive....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m2hImVwR_ME

I agree. Theres also the added issue of how words are used amongst different generations. Im 46, but work means i can talk openly to laddish lads in their 20s as easily as fellas just short of retirement. Whats good for the young un's can be abhorrent to an older generation. Its all about context..IMHO