FabSwingers.com forum: Second chances

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I appreciate we have probably all been messed about on here by people, cancelling & not showing up for arranged meets. If someone gives what appears to be a genuine excuse do you give them another chance??? I’m so fed up with it & my second chances seem just to give people the opportunity to shit on me again!! It’s really wearing thin

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nope one chance only why we blocked single guys as 15 out of 16 meets ended in no shows lol

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By *abyBrunelWoman
over a year ago

Darlington

I’m having the same problem!

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By *inful xWoman
over a year ago

In a sleepy little village

No I don't, I give one chance only regardless of what the " reason " is . Might be harsh but that's life for you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ffs be nice to get a meet lol I get a few wanting holiday but they never show up for meeting to see if we click lol x

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By *ollyGWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

I've had loads of guys mess me around, usually turn up the first time as planned then think they can do what they like, it's a shame but expected, I am used to it x

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

Tbh it would depend how much I fancied him but 2 would be the maximum x

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By *rimson_RoseWoman
over a year ago

Tamworth

Yes, I would give a second chance where it seemed genuine. But another cancellation is EndEx.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They'd have to be pretty special and with a convincing excuse to get a second chance here. It depends though how much notice they give, I mean cancelling a date several days ahead isn't like cancelling at the very last minute.

So many lovely women here inclined to give guys second chances. Thought provoking.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I've had loads of guys mess me around, usually turn up the first time as planned then think they can do what they like, it's a shame but expected, I am used to it x"

Yes and that’s the worry, you give them a second chance & then might meet but from then on always entirely on their terms, ugh.

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

"They'd have to be pretty special and with a convincing excuse to get a second chance here. It depends though how much notice they give, I mean cancelling a date several days ahead isn't like cancelling at the very last minute.

So many lovely women here inclined to give guys second chances. Thought provoking."

It takes time to find guys who appeal to me so I am quite likely to rearrange if they've had to cancel on me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've had loads of guys mess me around, usually turn up the first time as planned then think they can do what they like, it's a shame but expected, I am used to it x

Yes and that’s the worry, you give them a second chance & then might meet but from then on always entirely on their terms, ugh."

No. If you've given them a second chance they owe you. It's their turn to do some running around to prove they are worth it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 13/01/18 20:40:25]

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I've had loads of guys mess me around, usually turn up the first time as planned then think they can do what they like, it's a shame but expected, I am used to it x

Yes and that’s the worry, you give them a second chance & then might meet but from then on always entirely on their terms, ugh.

No. If you've given them a second chance they owe you. It's their turn to do some running around to prove they are worth it."

Thank you. Love your profile & pics by the way xx

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By *ackDMissMorganCouple
over a year ago

Halifax

We have given people 2nd chances before,if we know them and its a genuine reason.

We would be more cynical with new people,and if we did give a second chance,it would be up to them to rearrange etc.

Miss

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some of you ladies posting here seem to have met (or more precisely NOT met) some right idiots...though it seems there are more and more of them here lately.

Reflects badly on the rest of us who do meet...

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

I've usually got to know people that I plan on meeting meet well enough (through messages etc) to have a degree of confidence that if they are cancelling/postponing they're doing so for a genuine reason and would therefore not have a problem re-arranging. However if it was a continual thing I'd probably give up after it had happened a few times.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's a 'genuine' reason when you know next to nothing about the giver? Guy cancelled last night because he had to babysit his brother, blocked!

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"What's a 'genuine' reason when you know next to nothing about the giver? Guy cancelled last night because he had to babysit his brother, blocked!"

To my point, by the time I am discussing meeting I've built up enough of a "feel" for the person concerned to 99.9% know that whatever reason they give is genuine.

To be honest if someone was cancelling but seeking to re-arrange another time (and that wasn't a recurring theme) I'd be pretty sure it was genuine too.

Life happens and always comes first in my book

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What's a 'genuine' reason when you know next to nothing about the giver? Guy cancelled last night because he had to babysit his brother, blocked!

To my point, by the time I am discussing meeting I've built up enough of a "feel" for the person concerned to 99.9% know that whatever reason they give is genuine.

To be honest if someone was cancelling but seeking to re-arrange another time (and that wasn't a recurring theme) I'd be pretty sure it was genuine too.

Life happens and always comes first in my book

You must have extraordinary powers of feel about relative strangers. And 99.9% under the circumstances is an absurdity!

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"What's a 'genuine' reason when you know next to nothing about the giver? Guy cancelled last night because he had to babysit his brother, blocked!

To my point, by the time I am discussing meeting I've built up enough of a "feel" for the person concerned to 99.9% know that whatever reason they give is genuine.

To be honest if someone was cancelling but seeking to re-arrange another time (and that wasn't a recurring theme) I'd be pretty sure it was genuine too.

Life happens and always comes first in my book

You must have extraordinary powers of feel about relative strangers. And 99.9% under the circumstances is an absurdity!"

Not an absurdity at all - nor do I consider those I arrange to meet relative strangers either - I just take my time getting to know people before I meet them and so far I've been 100% right

I think the problems come about when people swap a couple of messages and immediately arrange to meet - which there is absolutely nothing wrong with doing if that's how someone wants to use the site - just that method of meeting increases the chances of coming across time wasters significantly

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By *ANDA2Couple
over a year ago

Henley Arden

"I appreciate we have probably all been messed about on here by people, cancelling & not showing up for arranged meets. If someone gives what appears to be a genuine excuse do you give them another chance??? I’m so fed up with it & my second chances seem just to give people the opportunity to shit on me again!! It’s really wearing thin

You know what they say

If you always do what you’ve always done. You will always get what you always got.

Think about what your doing and where it’s not working for you. Change what your doing. It’s not about second chances it’s about getting a system that works for you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Would depend on how much notice they gave to cancel, and how crap the excuse was.

Odds are I wouldn't give second chances.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So many lovely women here inclined to give guys second chances. Thought provoking."

This is my approach too. Definitely no more chances after the 2nd time though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have given 2nd chances previously but must admit not to single men we don't arrange them often enough to bother

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What's a 'genuine' reason when you know next to nothing about the giver? Guy cancelled last night because he had to babysit his brother, blocked!

To my point, by the time I am discussing meeting I've built up enough of a "feel" for the person concerned to 99.9% know that whatever reason they give is genuine.

To be honest if someone was cancelling but seeking to re-arrange another time (and that wasn't a recurring theme) I'd be pretty sure it was genuine too.

Life happens and always comes first in my book

You must have extraordinary powers of feel about relative strangers. And 99.9% under the circumstances is an absurdity!

Not an absurdity at all - nor do I consider those I arrange to meet relative strangers either - I just take my time getting to know people before I meet them and so far I've been 100% right

Yes thanks, this my approach too now because you know you have a genuine person if they are still chatting in a week or twos time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

no second chance , invite me instead ..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Only one chance to be honest, if it didn't happen the first time then it wasn't meant to be.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I only meet verified people, there are way too many fakes and timewasters on here!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I only meet verified people, there are way too many fakes and timewasters on here!"

Veris are no guarantee against being messed about.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What's a 'genuine' reason when you know next to nothing about the giver? Guy cancelled last night because he had to babysit his brother, blocked!

To my point, by the time I am discussing meeting I've built up enough of a "feel" for the person concerned to 99.9% know that whatever reason they give is genuine.

To be honest if someone was cancelling but seeking to re-arrange another time (and that wasn't a recurring theme) I'd be pretty sure it was genuine too.

Life happens and always comes first in my book

You must have extraordinary powers of feel about relative strangers. And 99.9% under the circumstances is an absurdity!

Not an absurdity at all - nor do I consider those I arrange to meet relative strangers either - I just take my time getting to know people before I meet them and so far I've been 100% right

Ok, I'll call you. Can you prove that your '"feel" for the person concerned to 99.9% know that whatever reason they give is genuine.'?

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"What's a 'genuine' reason when you know next to nothing about the giver? Guy cancelled last night because he had to babysit his brother, blocked!

To my point, by the time I am discussing meeting I've built up enough of a "feel" for the person concerned to 99.9% know that whatever reason they give is genuine.

To be honest if someone was cancelling but seeking to re-arrange another time (and that wasn't a recurring theme) I'd be pretty sure it was genuine too.

Life happens and always comes first in my book

You must have extraordinary powers of feel about relative strangers. And 99.9% under the circumstances is an absurdity!

Not an absurdity at all - nor do I consider those I arrange to meet relative strangers either - I just take my time getting to know people before I meet them and so far I've been 100% right

Ok, I'll call you. Can you prove that your '"feel" for the person concerned to 99.9% know that whatever reason they give is genuine.'?"

Of course I can't other than to say my instincts have been 100% right so far and that has come out of building mutual trust and respect with the people concerned to be as certain as I can be that they would be honest with me if they had to postpone a meet. Think we're getting into semantics now though

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

Sorry, in seven years I can honestly say I've never been messed about. The men I meet have quick changing priorities and I realise they may need to cancel.

When I was working I'd always have a plan b. So I'd take a flexiday to do my nails or work from home etc so my day wasn't wasted. I never needed a plan b.

It's not because I'm irresistible, but I think my approach was more laid back and my playmates realised I wasn't fussed in all honesty.

Some people get off messing others about, you have to decide whether you let them or not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No second chances, instant block

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never had issues on here and i dont give 2nd chances in life why should i on here!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Always believed people should be given a second chance in everything not just here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What's a 'genuine' reason when you know next to nothing about the giver? Guy cancelled last night because he had to babysit his brother, blocked!

To my point, by the time I am discussing meeting I've built up enough of a "feel" for the person concerned to 99.9% know that whatever reason they give is genuine.

To be honest if someone was cancelling but seeking to re-arrange another time (and that wasn't a recurring theme) I'd be pretty sure it was genuine too.

Life happens and always comes first in my book

You must have extraordinary powers of feel about relative strangers. And 99.9% under the circumstances is an absurdity!

Not an absurdity at all - nor do I consider those I arrange to meet relative strangers either - I just take my time getting to know people before I meet them and so far I've been 100% right

Ok, I'll call you. Can you prove that your '"feel" for the person concerned to 99.9% know that whatever reason they give is genuine.'?

No, we're getting into you backing up something that most people would think absurd on an internet site!

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By *ipBiterLexiWoman
over a year ago

Bridgwater, Somerset

Only happened to me once, and no second chance given

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends on the situation, I got let down the other day and I'm not sure if I believe the story.

I myself had to let someone down a little while ago due to injury, but to prove it was true I took a selfie holding my x-ray with the date on it. Lucky for me he's giving me a second chance.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I get a sense it's genuine, and it's a few days in advance, then I may give a second chance, as life can get in the way.

But the guy is likely to go to the bottom of my hotlist!

If it's a guy I've previously met and know, I'm more forgiving.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"What's a 'genuine' reason when you know next to nothing about the giver? Guy cancelled last night because he had to babysit his brother, blocked!

To my point, by the time I am discussing meeting I've built up enough of a "feel" for the person concerned to 99.9% know that whatever reason they give is genuine.

To be honest if someone was cancelling but seeking to re-arrange another time (and that wasn't a recurring theme) I'd be pretty sure it was genuine too.

Life happens and always comes first in my book

You must have extraordinary powers of feel about relative strangers. And 99.9% under the circumstances is an absurdity!

Not an absurdity at all - nor do I consider those I arrange to meet relative strangers either - I just take my time getting to know people before I meet them and so far I've been 100% right

Ok, I'll call you. Can you prove that your '"feel" for the person concerned to 99.9% know that whatever reason they give is genuine.'?

No, we're getting into you backing up something that most people would think absurd on an internet site!"

Point is I don't need to prove a thing - I'm perfectly happy with the way I use the site and my instincts about the people I choose to meet and that is all that matters - if you choose to think that is absurd, that's your prerogative

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Same one shot and that's it but with notice and a good valid excuse that's totally fine x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I go with my gut. I've been let down many times, and most of them have then been blocked. Once or twice, you get the sense that the circumstances were genuinely mitigating and I've been happy to give them a second chance (invariably, that second chance has worked out really well!).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't give a second chance, have heard so many excuses XXX

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By *ungBlackTopMan
over a year ago

salford

Don't give second chances, don't have too as far too many offers.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What's a 'genuine' reason when you know next to nothing about the giver? Guy cancelled last night because he had to babysit his brother, blocked!

To my point, by the time I am discussing meeting I've built up enough of a "feel" for the person concerned to 99.9% know that whatever reason they give is genuine.

To be honest if someone was cancelling but seeking to re-arrange another time (and that wasn't a recurring theme) I'd be pretty sure it was genuine too.

Life happens and always comes first in my book

You must have extraordinary powers of feel about relative strangers. And 99.9% under the circumstances is an absurdity!

Not an absurdity at all - nor do I consider those I arrange to meet relative strangers either - I just take my time getting to know people before I meet them and so far I've been 100% right

Ok, I'll call you. Can you prove that your '"feel" for the person concerned to 99.9% know that whatever reason they give is genuine.'?

No, we're getting into you backing up something that most people would think absurd on an internet site!

We'll add it to your notes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nope one chance only why we blocked single guys as 15 out of 16 meets ended in no shows lol "
she hasn't mentioned about single guys how could jump n say single bla bla stop with the assumption couples n femals are worst

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No I don't, I give one chance only regardless of what the " reason " is . Might be harsh but that's life for you "
even if they get a cold feet lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it had to be based on circumstances.

If someone offers a cast iron guarantee that they will definantly meet, but then cancel at the time of meeting because of a vaguely plausible reason, I would be less inclined to agree a second time.

However, if the person says they might have a chance to meet, but something may come up, then they are in the second chance bracket.

In all fairness, I would only agree to meet someone I have been chatting to for some time, so I should have a fair idea about their reliability.

We see often enough posts about people having second thoughts or a gut feeling and cancelling last minute. Sometimes they are supported and told good on them...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

*definately I mean...

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

We'll add it to your notes

Noted

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By *entleman JayMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

Two strikes and out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Jesus we cant even find a female to give us a chance! Never mind two chances!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not for a first timer.

If it was someone I knew and they didn't have previous history, then I'd understand. It has and does happen.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think everyone on hete has probably experienced at least one no show or other form of what's often described as a time waster...or even had for some reason to pull out of or rearrange a meet. Such things happen in fab and in life.

Perhaps it depends on the nature of the relationship...or the other party involved

But are second chances really always such a bad thing....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it depends on the person. If it was a regular meet, then I'd definitely be more understanding. I've let my fwb down on a couple of occassions. Luckily he has been great about it and not blocked me. If it's a casual meet, I would probably not be as bothered and just move along.

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