FabSwingers.com forum: Are you open about this lifestyle?

By *aughtyboy79 OP Man
over a year ago

North East

I don't mean that you go around shouting about it but if asked are you open or do you prefer to keep it to yourself? If so why.....do you think that the UK in general is too stuffy when it comes to stuff like this?

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

No my friends are all pretty appalled

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By *aughtyboy79 OP Man
over a year ago

North East

"No my friends are all pretty appalled

Is that because they know or the impression you get when talking to them in general?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No my friends are all pretty appalled

Some folk are just narrow minded and will never understand...

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By *rMrs CumalotCouple
over a year ago

East Mids

Mr side we are very open but Mrs side only a few close friends know

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By *eardedProctologistMan
over a year ago

Here and there but more here than there

"No my friends are all pretty appalled

Some folk are just narrow minded and will never understand..."

I don't think it can be resumed to narrow-mindedness.

Some people may have a different perception and understand of what life is should be (it is questionable if it is socially constructed though), and ultimately what is better suited for them, but that doesn't make them narrow'minded.

Such as 'us' being 'swingers' that doesn't necessarily make 'us' bad individuals without any principles.

I don't really like making a distinction between 'us' and 'them' as I think we aren't fundamentally different from non-swingers.

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By *uckslut and MCouple
over a year ago

Poole

A lot of swingers on here can be very judgemental about stuff on here. Therefore I don't shout about it. It's no ones business, apart from mine and those I play with.

My freinds that know about me are fine with it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lots of the non-fab folk I know are far from narrow minded. In fact, some of the most inflexible and opinionated people I have chatted with have been on here actually. Their derision of people with a different opinion to their own and inability to see anyone elses perspective was quite staggering.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I reflect on this sometimes. I'm totally open with the world and his dog about being trans and bisexual, but way more secretive about fab. Not entirely sure what that's all about.

On the other hand the thought of being recognised from a profile pic or whatever doesn't really worry me a lot, and I also find it somewhat off-putting when a profile goes on about discreet this and discreet that blah blah blah x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have two lives, one is boring the other is Fab

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No one knows about this side of our lives as it's no ones business.

We don't class this as a lifestyle but more of a bit of fun to jump in and out of when we're in the mood.

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By *lik and PaulCouple
over a year ago

cahoots

We aren't open due to business reasons....too much of a risk.

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...

Bloody hell no. I would be in much trouble

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All our freinds and most of our family know... I have no problems telling people... lots of our freinds end up coming out with us...

Take us how we are or don't we really don't care what people think

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By *uriousCouple999Couple
over a year ago

edinburgh

We just keep it to ourself, it feels like a naughty secret between us & I quite like that, that it's just something we both know

although if friends/family did find out it's nothing I'm ashamed off

Mrs

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By *thwiltsmMan
over a year ago

salisbury

Years ago when swinging was new to us my wife and myself told the occasional friend or colleague about it, trouble is they all seem to think you are fair game and up for it with anyone so we quickly realised it’s best to keep it to yourself

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

If someone asks me anything about my sex life I tell them to mind their own business. Our private life remains just that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is anyone in general open about their sex life? I have a mate who tells me every graphic detail of his sex life and it turns my stomach.

I think there’s a lot to be said for being reserved, regardless of which lifestyle you follow. There’s some things that other people really don’t need to, or want to, know about.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Is anyone in general open about their sex life? I have a mate who tells me every graphic detail of his sex life and it turns my stomach.

I think there’s a lot to be said for being reserved, regardless of which lifestyle you follow. There’s some things that other people really don’t need to, or want to, know about."

Agreed. Also if you're telling details of your sex life you're giving out intimate details about another person or people and I hate indiscretion.

I think people who insist on telling all are probably trying to big themselves up.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Most people not in the lifestyle dont bang on about their sex life in public,and neither do i.This is only one part of my life.And as such i keep it private and discreet as many dont understand it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m very open with my friends and family about my lifestyle. Luckily they don’t judge.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No one asks me about my sex life. It's not something I would ask myself.

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By *carletcoupleCouple
over a year ago

manchester

It is something that is very private for us as I'm sure our over sensitive employers would take a dim view of such a lifestyle. That and our sexual preferences, which we would prefer to keep between those with similar tastes and interests.

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By *udist2ukMan
over a year ago

chudleigh

It amazes me how many arnt even honest about their sexuality even on here. Out in the open stands no chance lol

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By *andemanMan
over a year ago

bedforshire

I find myself leading 3 lives. my public life my private life and my Very Private life.

i have one or two people who know me in all 3 but most of the time i keep all 3 seporate. it works well for me.

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By *unandbuckCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield

For us it isn't a lifestyle anway. Its a fun, private hobby.

It's just betwen us. Friends and family have no need to know and knowing might cause isues, through misunderstanding or incorrect assumptions.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The one or two vanilla friends that know we do this occasionally are more intrigued than judgmental, and I suspect slightly jealous that we are so solid together that we can do it.

Let’s be honest people think about sex a lot more than they are willing to admit and would love to be able to have recreational sex but society has conditioned them to see it as wrong, also many see swinging as a group of ugly perverts just meeting to fuck without knowing that’s far from the truth, so they get their casual sex kick by cheating.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The only people in my world who don't know are my family....but I wouldn't discuss my sex life with them if I was monogamous or not a swinger. I'm very open about it...I'm self employed so no need to hide from work, my partner is also on site and knows everything and I've no kids to worry about embarrassing...I'm proud of my lifestyle, I have a blast

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I mentioned it to a guy at work who split up with his mrs and was on plenty of fish talking to women. He asked how my weekend was and I said I had a good time with a smile on my face. I would say but then eventually said I was at a swingers club. Before you know it, he told all the managers and they sat me in a room and asked what goes on there. Never again will I talk openly about this again, not even my closest friends know. This is a double life I lead and tend to stay that way. Its a lifestyle and I enjoy it. My advice is to keep it yourselves and if you really want to tell someone, mention it to people you trust and who are non judgemental.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't hide who I am or what I get up to, my family and friends all know I am on here and don't care as long as I am happy. Anyone else after that, well their opinion of me is theirs to keep, I would not let it change me. Although have found most people fascinated rather than appalled...perverts!

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"No my friends are all pretty appalled

Is that because they know or the impression you get when talking to them in general? "

They know I have non-monogamous relationships and friendships and they nearly all prefer monogamy, as do I.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"No my friends are all pretty appalled

Some folk are just narrow minded and will never understand..."

I don't think they are narrow minded at all, they simply do not find nsa sex with strangers appealing.

I fancied some hot tottie after being trapped in a sexless marriage for many years, but it very soon became boring to me, I prefer a monogamous relationship any day, nothing to do with narrow mindedness.

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By *asmine400Woman
over a year ago

poole

[Removed by poster at 11/01/18 00:02:36]

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By *asmine400Woman
over a year ago

poole

"[Removed by poster at 1this exactly 1/01/18 00:02:36]"

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I mentioned it to a guy at work who split up with his mrs and was on plenty of fish talking to women. He asked how my weekend was and I said I had a good time with a smile on my face. I would say but then eventually said I was at a swingers club. Before you know it, he told all the managers and they sat me in a room and asked what goes on there. Never again will I talk openly about this again, not even my closest friends know. This is a double life I lead and tend to stay that way. Its a lifestyle and I enjoy it. My advice is to keep it yourselves and if you really want to tell someone, mention it to people you trust and who are non judgemental."

People are terribly judgemental about other people's sex lives. Even on here.

That's why details are best kept confidential in my opinion.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We’ve been swinging about 10 years on and off the Mrs was 18 when we started. We were seen leaving a club and she was made to feel dirty and was called a slag. It made us give up swinging for a while been back on the scene about 3 years now and have noticed it seems more acceptable. Has a lot of people found out years ago we came to the decision that it’s our life we enjoy what we do Mrs now knows she’s doing nothing wrong and don’t care what people think. To a point we’re open about swinging now and if people don’t like it or us for it then there not worth having in our life’s anyway.

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By *vadownMan
over a year ago

Wickham

"I find myself leading 3 lives. my public life my private life and my Very Private life.

i have one or two people who know me in all 3 but most of the time i keep all 3 seporate. it works well for me.

this

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By *arnsley guy100Man
over a year ago

Sheffield

No one knows.... Other than my neighbour who saw me on here!..

Other than that, no one

I keep "some of" my time separate to everything else.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Private how I prefer it xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is anyone in general open about their sex life? I have a mate who tells me every graphic detail of his sex life and it turns my stomach.

I think there’s a lot to be said for being reserved, regardless of which lifestyle you follow. There’s some things that other people really don’t need to, or want to, know about."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The one or two vanilla friends that know we do this occasionally are more intrigued than judgmental, and I suspect slightly jealous that we are so solid together that we can do it.

Swinging/ sex for fun is disgusting. Who on earth would openly admit to that?!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"All our freinds and most of our family know... I have no problems telling people... lots of our freinds end up coming out with us...

Take us how we are or don't we really don't care what people think "

It's the same with us and we're quite proud of our lifestyle . Time for a swingers pride parade event

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By *RnMrsFreakCouple
over a year ago

Hull,England

We're quite open about it when asked, haven't found many people that didn't want to converse about it once they knew, apart from our mothers.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All my mates and work mates know. My recent two ex's knew.

My boss knows.

I do that care

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is anyone in general open about their sex life? I have a mate who tells me every graphic detail of his sex life and it turns my stomach.

I think there’s a lot to be said for being reserved, regardless of which lifestyle you follow. There’s some things that other people really don’t need to, or want to, know about.

Exactly

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By *icassolifelikeMan
over a year ago

Luton

Nobody knew about it until I saw someone I knew in a club.

Now mum never invites me over for tea anymore

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By *aveywMan
over a year ago

tramore

I’d just prefer to keep it private. As I think most people would. I did bump into a close family friend and her husband in a club once but we just had a quick chat and we never spoke of it again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

put me back 15 years and the very thought of anything like this would have had me

and saying things like - oh good god no - but i had never been exposed to this and lived in my bubble- albeit looking back it was shite but thats in hindsight - a few of my friends know - some understand some are like ah well you are a bit different anyway and some shocked to the core -

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By *exysurferMan
over a year ago

Bromley

A few friends know but that’s it. Wouldn’t dream of telling family or anyone else.

Irrespective it’s my choice so their opinion doesn’t matter.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m very open with my friends and family about my lifestyle. Luckily they don’t judge.

This I have nothing to hide x

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By *ubdropslutWoman
over a year ago

Birminghm

totally open society makes taboos not nature...

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By *aveywMan
over a year ago

tramore

"totally open society makes taboos not nature..."

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No, it's our guilty pleasure, others do not need to know.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m open if/when asked. Most of family and friends are aware. So are work....never been judged...just had some interesting questions...

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