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Question for swinging couples??

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I am not a swinger and although the lifestyle fascinates me it's not something I could ever truly imagine my husband and I getting into. I think it fascinates me because he's the only man I've ever had sex with( we met at age 14) and there's always a wonder of what if. Although I don't feel I've missed out my fantasies often involve a 3rd wheel.

How do you overcome the jealousy, insecurity?

Do you ever use it against each other when arguing??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nope!

We are both in this lifestyle because we enjoy making friends (with benifits) and dont eveet argue abiut whos having more fun etc

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you have a strong marriage and have ralked about it then shouldnt b an issue. The way we look at is that we make love, but meets are sex hopefully good sex lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Try it. It adds a fascinating new dimension to a strong marriage. No feeling of jealousy at all. Quite the opposite because its great to see the love of your life getting lots of pleasure.

You don’t have to jump in at the deep end. You could try same room sex with no swap, or just soft swinging.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You could even go to a nice club and just watch others getting it on!

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By *loswingersCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester


"I am not a swinger and although the lifestyle fascinates me it's not something I could ever truly imagine my husband and I getting into. I think it fascinates me because he's the only man I've ever had sex with( we met at age 14) and there's always a wonder of what if. Although I don't feel I've missed out my fantasies often involve a 3rd wheel.

How do you overcome the jealousy, insecurity?

Do you ever use it against each other when arguing??

"

There is no jealousy and absolutely no insecurity whatsoever .

And no , we never use it against each other when arguing .

I don’t recall a single argument happening which even has a hint of swinging being the reason for it . We swing because it’s fun , and exciting and our relationship has become way stronger as a result of our liberated lifestyle

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 05/01/18 18:11:14]

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"You could even go to a nice club and just watch others getting it on!"

We have been to a club in Cambridge around 7 or 8 years ago but it wasn't really our thing. Watching doesn't do anything for me and my husband said he'd rather watch porn with me than what we witnessed.

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By *rBBMrsLDCouple
over a year ago

Seaford

My husband and I have been together since late teens and been swinging for two years now.

No jealously what so ever we talk to each other all the time and are very close.

Still exploring and the fun part is going on this adventure together.

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By *LIRTWITHUSCouple
over a year ago

Chester


"I am not a swinger and although the lifestyle fascinates me it's not something I could ever truly imagine my husband and I getting into. I think it fascinates me because he's the only man I've ever had sex with( we met at age 14) and there's always a wonder of what if. Although I don't feel I've missed out my fantasies often involve a 3rd wheel.

How do you overcome the jealousy, insecurity?

Do you ever use it against each other when arguing??

"

We've been together since similar age to you, married 26yrs. Never slept with anyone else so this is fun, a joint hobby which has brought new dimensions to our relationship. Is awesome discussing and the friendships we've formed are amazing Fi xx

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By *otwife-sophieWoman
over a year ago

kilmarnock

I think if you are both sure your marriage is very strong and you both are very open with each other on why you both want to be on a swingers website then I would say go with it... Set some ground rules though that you don't cross without discussing well in-advance of anything changing as moving the goal posts without being sure you both are comfortable is fraught with danger

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 05/01/18 18:20:46]

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thank you for your replies

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By *ucy LewdWoman
over a year ago

North Oxfordshire

If someone used sex against me when arguing I'd be out of that relationship before they could finish whatever point they were trying to make.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"If someone used sex against me when arguing I'd be out of that relationship before they could finish whatever point they were trying to make."

After being with that person for 33 years? Married for 22 nearly 23 got 2 teenage children together an amazing life and relationship together , you would end the relationship because you argued about sex and we all know when arguing things get said just to "win".

This is why I know I will never swing because I don't think I could trust myself not to just say oh well why dont you just go fuck so and so again

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By *ucy LewdWoman
over a year ago

North Oxfordshire


"If someone used sex against me when arguing I'd be out of that relationship before they could finish whatever point they were trying to make.

After being with that person for 33 years? Married for 22 nearly 23 got 2 teenage children together an amazing life and relationship together , you would end the relationship because you argued about sex and we all know when arguing things get said just to "win".

This is why I know I will never swing because I don't think I could trust myself not to just say oh well why dont you just go fuck so and so again"

Yes. I would leave if someone threw something like that back in my face because I'd know I'd seen their true colours.

If you think you're going to behave that way, I don't personally think you should be on a swingers site. It's not a kind way to treat people.

I don't form relationships with people who say hurtful things to win arguments. People that do things like that aren't very nice people.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

As previously stated I'm only here for the forums and chat rooms which I enjoy immensely.

I'm not a swinger and was just trying to be honest and get honest replied about people's emotions

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am not a swinger and although the lifestyle fascinates me it's not something I could ever truly imagine my husband and I getting into. I think it fascinates me because he's the only man I've ever had sex with( we met at age 14) and there's always a wonder of what if. Although I don't feel I've missed out my fantasies often involve a 3rd wheel.

How do you overcome the jealousy, insecurity?

Do you ever use it against each other when arguing??

"

There is no jealousy to overcome. If we were jealous of each other we simply wouldn’t do it.

As for using it in arguments; no. We don’t argue. Discuss things but never argue.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If someone used sex against me when arguing I'd be out of that relationship before they could finish whatever point they were trying to make.

After being with that person for 33 years? Married for 22 nearly 23 got 2 teenage children together an amazing life and relationship together , you would end the relationship because you argued about sex and we all know when arguing things get said just to "win".

This is why I know I will never swing because I don't think I could trust myself not to just say oh well why dont you just go fuck so and so again"

With an outlook like that I totally agree that you are not cut out for swinging. Good luck not swinging. x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I'm not a jealous person neither is my husband. To be honest we haven't had any reason to be but this is a new dynamic. We have talked about swinging and 3somes. And yes sometimes we do argue not often but it does happen

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I was merely asking for honest opinions as to how you handle the emotions not the abuse im now getting in pm about deleting my account as I don't belong. Ive clearly stated at every opportunity that I'm not a swinger just interested is all.

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By *orticiaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral


"You could even go to a nice club and just watch others getting it on!

We have been to a club in Cambridge around 7 or 8 years ago but it wasn't really our thing. Watching doesn't do anything for me and my husband said he'd rather watch porn with me than what we witnessed."

What about being watched? My partner & I love the thrill of that, it’s amazing. Here’s nothing to say you have to play with others, you could remain monogamous but still have the thrill ... just a thought!

I echo the other comments though. It’s not something you can do with an unstable relationship, but for us, it adds another dimension to our relationship & in a lot of ways has brought us even closer because of the added intimacy & the level of trust in each other it brings (we do a bit of BDSM play too, so massive trust needed!!)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We are always having heated discussions about fab, swinging,

Doesn’t mean it’s not for us and we always sort it out, we have had a threesome with a female but never have I thrown it back at him in a heated discussion,

We are only taking little steps each time and I will only do what I want to do!!

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate


"I was merely asking for honest opinions as to how you handle the emotions not the abuse im now getting in pm about deleting my account as I don't belong. Ive clearly stated at every opportunity that I'm not a swinger just interested is all."

Report any abusive messages

I meet other people with my partners knowledge, have done for a few years and can honestly say our sex life together has only improved as a result and we've had not a single argument about it.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex


"I am not a swinger and although the lifestyle fascinates me it's not something I could ever truly imagine my husband and I getting into. I think it fascinates me because he's the only man I've ever had sex with( we met at age 14) and there's always a wonder of what if. Although I don't feel I've missed out my fantasies often involve a 3rd wheel.

How do you overcome the jealousy, insecurity?

Do you ever use it against each other when arguing??

"

We didn't have to overcome jealousy and insecurity because it's never been a feature of our relationship.

When we argue we don't use mutually agreed activities of any sort against each other.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I was merely asking for honest opinions as to how you handle the emotions not the abuse im now getting in pm about deleting my account as I don't belong. Ive clearly stated at every opportunity that I'm not a swinger just interested is all."

Ignore the tossers, just block them. You enjoy yourself on here in any way you want to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never caused any issues at all with us both ,he likes seeing me enjoying others guys and joining in too ,as for other ladies and him fine by me totally

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Me and hubby met via fab and I'll be 100% honest at 1st I didn't like seeing him with another woman and the green eyed monster came 10 fold! He then got us doing more MMF for me and then it became FMF and couples and we've not looked back since. You have to talk and trust each other. I was self conscious after my baby and that what the problem was. I felt fat and felt he wanted younger and now look at me! I'm having the time of my life and so is he, both mutual and trusting x

Good luck OP

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We’ve never argued about swinging, but I don’t think swinging is for everyone and if you have doubts it’s probably not for you.

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By *ackDMissMorganCouple
over a year ago

Halifax

No,we both like watching each other play

If jealousy became an issue ,we would tale some time out of the lifestyle.

Miss

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By *orticiaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral


"I was merely asking for honest opinions as to how you handle the emotions not the abuse im now getting in pm about deleting my account as I don't belong. Ive clearly stated at every opportunity that I'm not a swinger just interested is all."

Wow, that’s awful!! You clearly enjoy the elements that you do get involved in & no one has the right to judge anyone for how they choose to use Fab or live their life!!

If you had a fake profile just to research the topic (you know, for Sydney Uni & all that!) then I could maybe understand the reaction - although not the abuse - but a brief look at your profile shows that you actively participate & enjoy what you do.

Ignore the bullies, report & block and enjoy yourself!! Hope you’ve got some positive responses to this & if you’re ever in the North West, you’d be more than welcome at Townhouse for a social & a natter - maybe even a gin & a hot tub - even if you didn’t want to dress down or play

M x

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex

I think that if there are elements of insecurity and jealousy in a relationship swinging isn't a good idea.

I also think that if one partner will use something that happened during swinging against the other in an argument that partner doesn't really want to swing or something happened that needs resolving.

Having said that I'm surprised time and again to discover that the basis of many relationships seems to be jealousy and insecurity and many couples arguments consist of them scoring points off of each other over things that happened in the past.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I think that if there are elements of insecurity and jealousy in a relationship swinging isn't a good idea.

I also think that if one partner will use something that happened during swinging against the other in an argument that partner doesn't really want to swing or something happened that needs resolving.

Having said that I'm surprised time and again to discover that the basis of many relationships seems to be jealousy and insecurity and many couples arguments consist of them scoring points off of each other over things that happened in the past."

We are neither jealous or insecure in any part of our life or relationship. My husband works away often. We holiday alone with friends him golf me spas. No jealousy at all or questioning but having sex with someone else is unknown to us so we need to address these issues before even thinking of indulging.

I just wanted honest opinions of if people had experienced jealousy and what they did about it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I was merely asking for honest opinions as to how you handle the emotions not the abuse im now getting in pm about deleting my account as I don't belong. Ive clearly stated at every opportunity that I'm not a swinger just interested is all."

Your honesty should be applauded. If you are worried about jealousy then cherry pick the bits you both like that wont be an issue. Then take baby steps from there. Either way do what is right for both of you.

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By *ewnameCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow

lol I talked my wife into swinging so I could get more pussy, she agreed after a lot of sexy bed chat and we thought we would give it a go.

Arranged a meet and for the first 10 min of watching my wife meet another couple ( guy) and me with the wife I started to get really jealous that she was enjoying it too much as we all were, lol so felt a bit hurt, finished the meet and went home.

Then we started to talk about it in bed and I got it that she was just having fun as I was and we loved each other, so did it again and loved it then tried us meeting a guy and loved that so now have a couple of couples we meet now and then and try to meet guys more reg with me just watching and fucking her after, lol great fun now and see what the lucky guys say about us lol dont think the first guy would have said cilled and laid back in any comments lol, I think if you dont get the wee tummy antipation then the fun has gone and you are just hardened swingers. hey, but what do I know. take care and have a FAB time if it is for you.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex


"I think that if there are elements of insecurity and jealousy in a relationship swinging isn't a good idea.

I also think that if one partner will use something that happened during swinging against the other in an argument that partner doesn't really want to swing or something happened that needs resolving.

Having said that I'm surprised time and again to discover that the basis of many relationships seems to be jealousy and insecurity and many couples arguments consist of them scoring points off of each other over things that happened in the past.

We are neither jealous or insecure in any part of our life or relationship. My husband works away often. We holiday alone with friends him golf me spas. No jealousy at all or questioning but having sex with someone else is unknown to us so we need to address these issues before even thinking of indulging.

I just wanted honest opinions of if people had experienced jealousy and what they did about it

"

I didn't mean to suggest it was, I'm sorry you took it that I did.

You asked how people dealt with it. My opinion is that if people have these issues swinging isn't a good idea.

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By *ewnameCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow

Sorry just read it Baack and spelling all over the place, a word to the wise, don't type with a few Grey Gooses in you and read it before you post it lol

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By *ewnameCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow

Agree but sometimes it's, not insecurity it's just not sure of the new, we were together for 26 years before we tried swinging lol but love it now and pushing the boundaries this year, got the first social booked and planning holiday fun for the first time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We're coming rather late to this thread, but here is our two penneth.

We have both been married before and had been together for 25y when we decided to start swinging. Prior to starting we had the hebijeebies about how it might bring about the end of our relationship etc etc.

The reality was that it was a non event which barely impinged on our emotional life. We quickly realised that swinging is just sex, whereas what we have is love, emotions, shared times and so on. Totally different.

It may well be a different story for you, all I'm suggesting is that it is very easy to overestimate the impact of a bit of casual sex between consenting people when both partners are involved.

Best of luck.

J

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon

I'm not sure I can give you the answer you want, as we are coming at this from different directions.

It sounds a cliché, but we don't consider that we "own" each other, therefore there is nothing to be jealous about. We have a rock-solid relationship, so when we are playing we like to see each other enjoying ourselves.

As for using it during an argument, why would we, its something we do together, we both decided to get into this together, we involve each other as much as possible in whatever we are doing as we love to swing together.

From your post, it seems that you have deep insecurities, I would step away from Fab and sort those out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am not a swinger and although the lifestyle fascinates me it's not something I could ever truly imagine my husband and I getting into. I think it fascinates me because he's the only man I've ever had sex with( we met at age 14) and there's always a wonder of what if. Although I don't feel I've missed out my fantasies often involve a 3rd wheel.

How do you overcome the jealousy, insecurity?

Do you ever use it against each other when arguing??

There is no jealousy and absolutely no insecurity whatsoever .

And no , we never use it against each other when arguing .

I don’t recall a single argument happening which even has a hint of swinging being the reason for it . We swing because it’s fun , and exciting and our relationship has become way stronger as a result of our liberated lifestyle "

100% couldn’t agree more with this.

This is exactly how we feel xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm not sure I can give you the answer you want, as we are coming at this from different directions.

It sounds a cliché, but we don't consider that we "own" each other, therefore there is nothing to be jealous about. We have a rock-solid relationship, so when we are playing we like to see each other enjoying ourselves.

As for using it during an argument, why would we, its something we do together, we both decided to get into this together, we involve each other as much as possible in whatever we are doing as we love to swing together.

From your post, it seems that you have deep insecurities, I would step away from Fab and sort those out."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"From your post, it seems that you have deep insecurities, I would step away from Fab and sort those out."

I didn't quote the entire post here for reasons of brevity, but couldn't agree more!

You absolutely can not have any insecurities regarding your partner if you expect swinging to be an enjoyable experience.

Your relationship needs to be solid before-hand and everyone (both partners and the folks they're swinging with) needs to be on the same page with what each is expecting from the experience.

That includes what YOU want from the experience. If you're excited about getting your rocks off with someone else, but aren't happy for your partner to do the same, then I'd recommend some serious introspection to unpick those emotions before even thinking about taking anything further.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I have no intention of ever swinging. I don't WANT to have sex with anyone other than my husband as clearly stated in my profile and in the opening line. Merely curious as to understanding how couples dealt with the emotions.

I have fun in chat and have made many friends there why should I leave ?

And simply asking a question about how people coped with jealousy or if they even experienced it has made you think I'm insecure.

Far from it.

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By *ucy LewdWoman
over a year ago

North Oxfordshire


"I have no intention of ever swinging. I don't WANT to have sex with anyone other than my husband as clearly stated in my profile and in the opening line. Merely curious as to understanding how couples dealt with the emotions.

I have fun in chat and have made many friends there why should I leave ?

And simply asking a question about how people coped with jealousy or if they even experienced it has made you think I'm insecure.

Far from it.

"

I think the key is that people who have been swinging for any sort of time don't really have jealousy.

Well, that's not true. Occasionally I am jealous of something, but then I unpick in my head what that emotion is trying to tell me. Perhaps something is manifesting as jealousy because I'm not feeling happy about my own body at this time. Or because I want to spend more time with my partner. Sometimes jealousy manifests just because I'm stressed or anxious in another part of my life. Each time I think about it and decide what it's telling me, and then just... get rid of the feeling. Jealousy itself is just a thing to tell you that something is up - if you then deal with the problem then it disappears.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I see what you mean, but as I've never felt jealous, I don't know how I would deal with it.

As an indication of how it works in practice take this: Mrs J will occasionally have a single man in her bed. I will do all the arrangements and leave them to it until I join in. Throughout the experience I feel nothing but sexual excitement that she is having such pleasure. It is my joy to 'give' her such pleasure. I am not in the least bit jealous.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We are both unsure on our feelings and thoughts so currently looking for a couple just to meet socially/talk with, then have same run fun with our own partners to see how we feel, if it goes ok then we explore more, if one or both feels angst or uncomftable/jealous then atleast we havent had any sexual contact with anyone other then ourselfs

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By *omox077Couple
over a year ago

grays

This lifestyle made our relationship many time stronger a we are so happy. I had also on my life before, only one man but now I love this everyday more and more. We are playing only together and I can only recommend this for everyone.

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By *blasiansCouple
over a year ago

Wakefield

Bookmark

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I met my now husband on here. I started swinging as a single 8 yrs ago. It wasn't easy and straightforward in the beginning, I was surprised how insecure and jealous I could feel.

But like others have said, it takes a lot of honesty and a lot of talking to eachother to figure things out.

We have rules, and these have relaxed and lessened over the years as We are much more secure and trusting in our relationship.

And i agree with the other posts, swinging has made our relationship much closer, much more loving and intimate!

And the sex is sooo much better!

We still have little issues pop up now and then, but we easily talk them through and adjust how we swing accordingly!

After being inactive on here for many months in the past, I can safely say, I love swinging and love the excitement it brings to my marriage.

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By *otlovefun42Couple
over a year ago

Costa Blanca Spain...


"I am not a swinger and although the lifestyle fascinates me it's not something I could ever truly imagine my husband and I getting into. I think it fascinates me because he's the only man I've ever had sex with( we met at age 14) and there's always a wonder of what if. Although I don't feel I've missed out my fantasies often involve a 3rd wheel.

How do you overcome the jealousy, insecurity?

Do you ever use it against each other when arguing??

"

In all the years we have been doing this we have never brought it up in any way during, our quite rare, arguments.

In fact I cannot remember us ever having an argument about sex at all.

Says it all really.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Interesting thread. For us whatever we do is about us and what we want. If either isn’t happy or comfortable we won’t do it ,we have cancelled meets previously and make no apologies for that. Most in the vanilla world would struggle to understand and accept this lifestyle and I think we all know that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This lifestyle made our relationship many time stronger a we are so happy. I had also on my life before, only one man but now I love this everyday more and more. We are playing only together and I can only recommend this for everyone."

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By *iliciousCouple
over a year ago

Sussex/Surrey


"I am not a swinger and although the lifestyle fascinates me it's not something I could ever truly imagine my husband and I getting into. I think it fascinates me because he's the only man I've ever had sex with( we met at age 14) and there's always a wonder of what if. Although I don't feel I've missed out my fantasies often involve a 3rd wheel.

How do you overcome the jealousy, insecurity?

Do you ever use it against each other when arguing??

There is no jealousy and absolutely no insecurity whatsoever .

And no , we never use it against each other when arguing .

I don’t recall a single argument happening which even has a hint of swinging being the reason for it . We swing because it’s fun , and exciting and our relationship has become way stronger as a result of our liberated lifestyle "

Absolutely agree with that, same for us .

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By *ikilovesCCouple
over a year ago

village life, closest main town inverness

Great question and great answers too

I guess overcoming, or not having those feelings is what marks out those who are "swingers"

in the real meaning of the word and those who just love being part of "the lifestyle"

I would imagine using it in an argument would be pretty disastrous for any future adventures lol.

Tbh, and we have limited experience, the social side is the biggest attraction for us,

just being among like minded people and having naughty fun is a wonder in itself

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By *orduneCouple
over a year ago

darvel

Don’t get this ,why oh why are you on a swingers site if you don’t want to try even soft swing ?

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By *jxxxxCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

Interesting topic and interesting POV and profile. Each to their own kinks regardless of why you're here for, we shouldn't judge that.

You never get over jealousy it's a human emotion. The jealousy can be made into the most intimate and kinky of experiences if you are a couple who work together through it. Talking afterwards/reclaiming sex is so fucking hot!!!!

But not everyone is that confident in themselves to be able to overcome that and bring it back to a naughty experience for the two of you. Swinging isn't supposed to be disrespectful it's supposed to be the cherry on top of your solid relationship where you allow each other certain freedoms for each other.

Good luck and enjoy doing whatever you're doing together. Xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Don’t get this ,why oh why are you on a swingers site if you don’t want to try even soft swing ?"

Because I enjoy the chat rooms and forums and I get alot of attention when I go on cam which is always nice. Maybe I just like knowing im wanted from the hundreds of messages I get weekly. We are all here for our own thing. Are we Not?

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By *ikilovesCCouple
over a year ago

village life, closest main town inverness


"Don’t get this ,why oh why are you on a swingers site if you don’t want to try even soft swing ?"

Would hazard a guess and say because

swinging has become a much broader term than it's strict meaning.

Personally I would say Fabswingers would be a much poorer place

without those who are exploring and maybe experimenting with "the lifestyle"

You couldn't call beginners like us swingers really and everyone

has to start somewhere lol.

Can honestly say that no one we have met has tried to push us into anything,

exact opposite in fact and the advice we have had from others is to take time,

go at your own pace and discuss, discuss, discuss which is what the OP is doing

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By *blasiansCouple
over a year ago

Wakefield

[Removed by poster at 06/01/18 11:33:57]

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By *blasiansCouple
over a year ago

Wakefield

We have a similar background in that long term married,loving and had only been with each other. We both enjoyed sex and trying new things until that day when swinging came to the show. It hasn't been an easy journey but certainly enjoyable and brought us closer together in ways we'd never imagined. Being uncomfortable and wanting to know each other thoughts (jealousy) is part of the journey and communication ,reassurance and respect for each other has worked for us.

Enjoy what you both enjoy as this is the most important thing.

To the people that send rude messages they won't understand you

Dynamics and special relationship so don't let that put you off.

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London

Basically the position is this. Most people in relationships feel that sex is something that bonds them and that any sexual contact with anyone else is a betrayal of that relationship.

There are a small percentage of people in relationships who don't feel like that about sex and see sex with someone outside the relationship as no more significant than having in a drink with someone outside the relationship.

People in the former group shouldn't swing.

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By *ucy LewdWoman
over a year ago

North Oxfordshire


"Basically the position is this. Most people in relationships feel that sex is something that bonds them and that any sexual contact with anyone else is a betrayal of that relationship.

There are a small percentage of people in relationships who don't feel like that about sex and see sex with someone outside the relationship as no more significant than having in a drink with someone outside the relationship.

People in the former group shouldn't swing. "

You missed out the people who see sex as something significant, but that needn't be restricted to just one person.

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By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester


"I am not a swinger and although the lifestyle fascinates me it's not something I could ever truly imagine my husband and I getting into. I think it fascinates me because he's the only man I've ever had sex with( we met at age 14) and there's always a wonder of what if. Although I don't feel I've missed out my fantasies often involve a 3rd wheel.

How do you overcome the jealousy, insecurity?

Do you ever use it against each other when arguing??

"

Can I ask why you on on here if you aren’t swingers then?

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London


"Basically the position is this. Most people in relationships feel that sex is something that bonds them and that any sexual contact with anyone else is a betrayal of that relationship.

There are a small percentage of people in relationships who don't feel like that about sex and see sex with someone outside the relationship as no more significant than having in a drink with someone outside the relationship.

People in the former group shouldn't swing.

You missed out the people who see sex as something significant, but that needn't be restricted to just one person."

Group one isn't restricted to two person relationships.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They’re asking for advice on taking small steps and understanding how the dynamic works for others.

Everyone starts somewhere, I’d of thought we could post better advice than “what are you doing on our swinging site !! “, very open minded.

For us op, Lacey was open with me when we met in her bisexuality but only wanted to be in a relationship with me.

I quickly found that I had no problem with her sexual encounters with woman and she wanted to include me. As we’ve progressed with this dynamic we are now comfortable sharing every aspect of our sex life with another woman.

We do toy with the idea of introducing a couple or single man into our lovemaking but Lacey has no interest in other men currently. I think it’s possibly to do with how she thinks I’d react and I’m really not sure how it would go myself. We do have a couple of fab men friends who know our dynamic and if/when we’re ready we hope they’ll still be interested. As for couple play, we find it terribly hard to find couples that we both find attractive and reading other people’s posts it seems most people find this the biggest boundary.

Hope this helps and .......

Good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I

Can I ask why you on on here if you aren’t swingers then?"

Stupid, unfriendly, unhelpful comment.

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By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester


"I

Can I ask why you on on here if you aren’t swingers then?

Stupid, unfriendly, unhelpful comment."

In what way?

It was a real question, why be on here if you don’t swing?

Or is it a private investigator ?

Don’t see why you think it unfriendly?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I

Can I ask why you on on here if you aren’t swingers then?

Stupid, unfriendly, unhelpful comment.

In what way?

It was a real question, why be on here if you don’t swing?

Or is it a private investigator ?

Don’t see why you think it unfriendly? "

I thought the same ( but then I am the eternal cynic)

To me the OP sounds like someone fishing for info, for 'research'

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By *ucy LewdWoman
over a year ago

North Oxfordshire


"I

Can I ask why you on on here if you aren’t swingers then?

Stupid, unfriendly, unhelpful comment.

In what way?

It was a real question, why be on here if you don’t swing?

Or is it a private investigator ?

Don’t see why you think it unfriendly?

I thought the same ( but then I am the eternal cynic)

To me the OP sounds like someone fishing for info, for 'research'"

What research could they possibly be doing?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you have a strong marriage and have ralked about it then shouldnt b an issue. The way we look at is that we make love, but meets are sex hopefully good sex lol"

Couldnt agree more.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I

Can I ask why you on on here if you aren’t swingers then?

Stupid, unfriendly, unhelpful comment.

In what way?

It was a real question, why be on here if you don’t swing?

Or is it a private investigator ?

Don’t see why you think it unfriendly?

I thought the same ( but then I am the eternal cynic)

To me the OP sounds like someone fishing for info, for 'research'"

I am completely fishing for info.

As in I'm trying to understand the dynamics of swinging and what effects it has on your relationship and emotions.for no other purpose than my own toe dip into this world.

I'm not an institute not a private investigator. I'm also real ask anyone who has chatted with me in chat. Or ask cyberdean or centrally, Ms cheekie or Minnie mouse they all have my phone number and I class them as chat friends.

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By *randMrsTeaseCouple
over a year ago

Durham

Myself and my wife have been together for 12 years now, we tried 3some when we were early on in our relationship which was a mistake and caused issues. We were both inexperienced sexually tbh, we had a guy over that was way better than I was and seeing her buck and moan with pleasure while recieving oral made me extremely jealous to the point it caused major screaming arguments between us.

Now after many years I realise that we weren't secure enough in our relationship but now having been through heaven and hell together I know she's coming home to me at night. Now we actually enjoy talking and discussing about what we would like to do, we've had a few meets and they have been excellent, totally loved watching her getting it on with another guy just as much as she loves watching me

We have fun and talk about it openly which eases a lot of tension, she lets me know what she liked and didn't like. I'm more self-conscious about the size of my manhood in front of guys now

I'd say if you thought about trying it out, go easy and try some soft stuff like w**king and oral.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I

Can I ask why you on on here if you aren’t swingers then?

Stupid, unfriendly, unhelpful comment.

In what way?

It was a real question, why be on here if you don’t swing?

Or is it a private investigator ?

Don’t see why you think it unfriendly?

I thought the same ( but then I am the eternal cynic)

To me the OP sounds like someone fishing for info, for 'research'

I am completely fishing for info.

As in I'm trying to understand the dynamics of swinging and what effects it has on your relationship and emotions.for no other purpose than my own toe dip into this world.

I'm not an institute not a private investigator. I'm also real ask anyone who has chatted with me in chat. Or ask cyberdean or centrally, Ms cheekie or Minnie mouse they all have my phone number and I class them as chat friends. "

Rubbish. You’re from Sydney uni.

Look you; I’ve asked nicely now I’m starting to get cross. The knickers you borrowed for research cost me lots. They were part of a beautiful set.

I do t want them back now because I dread to think what you’ve been doing with them so I think it only fair you get me some new ones

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Please refer to profile and it will make sense

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I

Can I ask why you on on here if you aren’t swingers then?

Stupid, unfriendly, unhelpful comment.

In what way?

It was a real question, why be on here if you don’t swing?

Or is it a private investigator ?

Don’t see why you think it unfriendly?

I thought the same ( but then I am the eternal cynic)

To me the OP sounds like someone fishing for info, for 'research'

I am completely fishing for info.

As in I'm trying to understand the dynamics of swinging and what effects it has on your relationship and emotions.for no other purpose than my own toe dip into this world.

I'm not an institute not a private investigator. I'm also real ask anyone who has chatted with me in chat. Or ask cyberdean or centrally, Ms cheekie or Minnie mouse they all have my phone number and I class them as chat friends.

Rubbish. You’re from Sydney uni.

Look you; I’ve asked nicely now I’m starting to get cross. The knickers you borrowed for research cost me lots. They were part of a beautiful set.

I do t want them back now because I dread to think what you’ve been doing with them so I think it only fair you get me some new ones "

I will of course get you some new ones as your pert bottom is much smaller than mine and I think I've over stretched the elastic so now they would just fall down on you. What colour and style would you prefer?

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By *reedy_for_funCouple
over a year ago

My House

No, no jealousy at all as it turned out. We were unsure about how we'd feel but until you do it you'd never know.

We started with some soft play to begin, then quite quickly moved to full and haven't looked back. We've fulfilled all our fantasies and had to think of even more to try out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I

Can I ask why you on on here if you aren’t swingers then?

Stupid, unfriendly, unhelpful comment.

In what way?

It was a real question, why be on here if you don’t swing?

Or is it a private investigator ?

Don’t see why you think it unfriendly?

I thought the same ( but then I am the eternal cynic)

To me the OP sounds like someone fishing for info, for 'research'

I am completely fishing for info.

As in I'm trying to understand the dynamics of swinging and what effects it has on your relationship and emotions.for no other purpose than my own toe dip into this world.

I'm not an institute not a private investigator. I'm also real ask anyone who has chatted with me in chat. Or ask cyberdean or centrally, Ms cheekie or Minnie mouse they all have my phone number and I class them as chat friends.

Rubbish. You’re from Sydney uni.

Look you; I’ve asked nicely now I’m starting to get cross. The knickers you borrowed for research cost me lots. They were part of a beautiful set.

I do t want them back now because I dread to think what you’ve been doing with them so I think it only fair you get me some new ones

I will of course get you some new ones as your pert bottom is much smaller than mine and I think I've over stretched the elastic so now they would just fall down on you. What colour and style would you prefer?"

Finally a response from a memeber of the research team.

I might be able to rewrite my profile after this.

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