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"If I see bdsm mentioned in a profile then I just take it as the generic term that it is. We all have our own kinks and limits, definitions etc, and they can be talked about before meeting anyone. The "interests" options here include a lot of generic terms, I don't think they are intended to tie anyone down to specifics. (Pun totally intended )" If someone states they like bdsm that covers it all but if someone say they are submissive that's specific. | |||
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"If I see bdsm mentioned in a profile then I just take it as the generic term that it is. We all have our own kinks and limits, definitions etc, and they can be talked about before meeting anyone. The "interests" options here include a lot of generic terms, I don't think they are intended to tie anyone down to specifics. (Pun totally intended ) If someone states they like bdsm that covers it all but if someone say they are submissive that's specific." Nothing in our profile about bdsm. What do you glean from that ? | |||
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"If I see bdsm mentioned in a profile then I just take it as the generic term that it is. We all have our own kinks and limits, definitions etc, and they can be talked about before meeting anyone. The "interests" options here include a lot of generic terms, I don't think they are intended to tie anyone down to specifics. (Pun totally intended ) If someone states they like bdsm that covers it all but if someone say they are submissive that's specific. Nothing in our profile about bdsm. What do you glean from that ?" Your username and the pink botty pics are a bit of a hint though : ) | |||
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"I am submissive, I prefer to use that term rather than 'being a sub'. For me the lines aren't blurred. If play involves any form of bondage, discipline sadism, masochism, dominance or submission then it is BDSM. Simples. " I agree with this though, I think submissive and sub have different meanings these days. | |||
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"No it's an interest of mine I did some research years ago when I first got involved with Bdsm and to answer another question yes is you are a submissive chances are you like one of the other 2 but my point is if you like causing pain it doesn't make you a master." Enjoying a master/sub relationship makes you a master. Nothing more, nothing less. Or even just liking the title, to be honest. | |||
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"I am submissive, I prefer to use that term rather than 'being a sub'. For me the lines aren't blurred. If play involves any form of bondage, discipline sadism, masochism, dominance or submission then it is BDSM. Simples. I agree with this though, I think submissive and sub have different meanings these days." They don't. Sub is just a shortened form of submissive. | |||
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"I am submissive, I prefer to use that term rather than 'being a sub'. For me the lines aren't blurred. If play involves any form of bondage, discipline sadism, masochism, dominance or submission then it is BDSM. Simples. I agree with this though, I think submissive and sub have different meanings these days." In what way I take sub as an abbreviation of submissive? | |||
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"I am submissive, I prefer to use that term rather than 'being a sub'. For me the lines aren't blurred. If play involves any form of bondage, discipline sadism, masochism, dominance or submission then it is BDSM. Simples. I agree with this though, I think submissive and sub have different meanings these days. They don't. Sub is just a shortened form of submissive." I know it is literally. I just meant that when I say "I tend to be submissive", I think that's different to saying "I'm a sub". | |||
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"I am submissive, I prefer to use that term rather than 'being a sub'. For me the lines aren't blurred. If play involves any form of bondage, discipline sadism, masochism, dominance or submission then it is BDSM. Simples. I agree with this though, I think submissive and sub have different meanings these days. They don't. Sub is just a shortened form of submissive. I know it is literally. I just meant that when I say "I tend to be submissive", I think that's different to saying "I'm a sub"." Could you articulate how it's different? I understand that saying 'I enjoy being submissive in some sexual activities' is different to 'I'm sexually submissive because of my interests in BDSM', but you could substitute 'sub' into either of those and it would still make sense. | |||
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"Iv been thinking about this the last few days and I feel compelled to put it down in writing. Iv come across some profiles where the person states they are sub and like being tied up or spanked but not controlled . It troubles me that the lines have been blurred about the meaning of Bdsm. I think the easiest way for me to put what I think it is is in a list. 1 Bondage/Discipline ... tied up restraints psychological restraints 2 Domination/submission..The control of power given freely from one person to the other. 3 sadism/masochism...Taking pleasure in causing or receiving pain/humiliation They all started out as different ways for sexual gratification at different times and on different countries for example sadism/masochism is known to be in Egypt in the 5th century bc and yet shibiri rope play only came about 200 years ago in Japan. Just because Bdsm is all lumped together with other fetishes it doesn't mean because you like one part it makes you a master or a submissive. Remember it's only my thoughts What are yours?." Absolutely spot on mrs loves the bondage ...well some of it not into gaggs i love it all except pain ..... really not into pain ... when i need to be in pain i turn up for work really intetested in the shibiri ( didnt realise it was called that, thanks ) Xx | |||
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" really intetested in the shibiri ( didnt realise it was called that, thanks ) Xx" Shibari is a particular *type* of rope bondage, not just any old rope bondage. | |||
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"I agree with you OP, I’ve often wondered why 3 themes are put together as one. Indeed they can be interelated. But often one element is practiced but the umbrella term is still used. Probably guilty of that myself. Mrs" That's a bit like saying 'I've often wondered why three different types of skiing are put together under one... you can have downhill skiing and cross country skiing...' etc'. Because it's a useful overall term that works as an umbrella for things that are often related in some way. | |||
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"If I see bdsm mentioned in a profile then I just take it as the generic term that it is. We all have our own kinks and limits, definitions etc, and they can be talked about before meeting anyone. The "interests" options here include a lot of generic terms, I don't think they are intended to tie anyone down to specifics. (Pun totally intended ) If someone states they like bdsm that covers it all but if someone say they are submissive that's specific. Nothing in our profile about bdsm. What do you glean from that ? Your username and the pink botty pics are a bit of a hint though : )" shucks No comment OP? | |||
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"I agree with you OP, I’ve often wondered why 3 themes are put together as one. Indeed they can be interelated. But often one element is practiced but the umbrella term is still used. Probably guilty of that myself. Mrs That's a bit like saying 'I've often wondered why three different types of skiing are put together under one... you can have downhill skiing and cross country skiing...' etc'. Because it's a useful overall term that works as an umbrella for things that are often related in some way." But they didn't originate togeater they wernt all classed as one until about 1920 I think | |||
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"I agree with you OP, I’ve often wondered why 3 themes are put together as one. Indeed they can be interelated. But often one element is practiced but the umbrella term is still used. Probably guilty of that myself. Mrs That's a bit like saying 'I've often wondered why three different types of skiing are put together under one... you can have downhill skiing and cross country skiing...' etc'. Because it's a useful overall term that works as an umbrella for things that are often related in some way. But they didn't originate togeater they wernt all classed as one until about 1920 I think" So? That was 100 years ago. It's now a useful way to describe what you're generally into. Saying 'I'm into BDSM' is easier than explaining all the different things I'm into. The same with any hobby or lifestyle really - for instance if someone asks me what I'm into I'll proberbly say 'computer games', but I'm unlikely to specify that I'm into MMORPGs until we've established that the other person knows something about computer games. | |||
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"If I see bdsm mentioned in a profile then I just take it as the generic term that it is. We all have our own kinks and limits, definitions etc, and they can be talked about before meeting anyone. The "interests" options here include a lot of generic terms, I don't think they are intended to tie anyone down to specifics. (Pun totally intended ) If someone states they like bdsm that covers it all but if someone say they are submissive that's specific. Nothing in our profile about bdsm. What do you glean from that ? Your username and the pink botty pics are a bit of a hint though : ) shucks No comment OP?" It's not intended to pick on anyone specific. Its just my thoughts and i mean no offence to anyone. | |||
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"I am submissive, I prefer to use that term rather than 'being a sub'. For me the lines aren't blurred. If play involves any form of bondage, discipline sadism, masochism, dominance or submission then it is BDSM. Simples. I agree with this though, I think submissive and sub have different meanings these days. They don't. Sub is just a shortened form of submissive. I know it is literally. I just meant that when I say "I tend to be submissive", I think that's different to saying "I'm a sub"." I describe myself as sexually submissive. I’ve come to that conclusion from the type of sex I enjoy and from my natural deviation towards sexually dominant men, and also the way I act around men in a potentially sexual environment. However I am not a submissive, as in the ‘owned’ sense. I’ve dabbled with that several times and it doesn’t work for me. Either way will usually shorted the noun or the adjective to ‘sub’ though. Mrs | |||
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"I am submissive, I prefer to use that term rather than 'being a sub'. For me the lines aren't blurred. If play involves any form of bondage, discipline sadism, masochism, dominance or submission then it is BDSM. Simples. I agree with this though, I think submissive and sub have different meanings these days. They don't. Sub is just a shortened form of submissive. I know it is literally. I just meant that when I say "I tend to be submissive", I think that's different to saying "I'm a sub". Could you articulate how it's different? I understand that saying 'I enjoy being submissive in some sexual activities' is different to 'I'm sexually submissive because of my interests in BDSM', but you could substitute 'sub' into either of those and it would still make sense." That's very true, I suppose it's the qualifying sentence that makes the difference more than the word itself. Tend to be submissive, just means I like partners who take the lead really. Sometimes I like a bit of mild restraint, being gagged with my own panties, a bit of spanking and name calling etc. BDSM though does make me think more extremes which can make for sexy porn but don't appeal much to me in reality, which is why I say submissive in my profile but haven't ticked bdsm as an interest. | |||
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"I am submissive, I prefer to use that term rather than 'being a sub'. For me the lines aren't blurred. If play involves any form of bondage, discipline sadism, masochism, dominance or submission then it is BDSM. Simples. I agree with this though, I think submissive and sub have different meanings these days. They don't. Sub is just a shortened form of submissive. I know it is literally. I just meant that when I say "I tend to be submissive", I think that's different to saying "I'm a sub". Could you articulate how it's different? I understand that saying 'I enjoy being submissive in some sexual activities' is different to 'I'm sexually submissive because of my interests in BDSM', but you could substitute 'sub' into either of those and it would still make sense. That's very true, I suppose it's the qualifying sentence that makes the difference more than the word itself. Tend to be submissive, just means I like partners who take the lead really. Sometimes I like a bit of mild restraint, being gagged with my own panties, a bit of spanking and name calling etc. BDSM though does make me think more extremes which can make for sexy porn but don't appeal much to me in reality, which is why I say submissive in my profile but haven't ticked bdsm as an interest. " Whereas I identify as submissive (sometimes) and enjoy relationships where the d/s dynamic is present at all times and in every thing we do. From having sex involving edgeplay, to choosing what I wear day to day, or what I eat when we go out. | |||
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"I agree with you OP, I’ve often wondered why 3 themes are put together as one. Indeed they can be interelated. But often one element is practiced but the umbrella term is still used. Probably guilty of that myself. Mrs That's a bit like saying 'I've often wondered why three different types of skiing are put together under one... you can have downhill skiing and cross country skiing...' etc'. Because it's a useful overall term that works as an umbrella for things that are often related in some way. But they didn't originate togeater they wernt all classed as one until about 1920 I think So? That was 100 years ago. It's now a useful way to describe what you're generally into. Saying 'I'm into BDSM' is easier than explaining all the different things I'm into. The same with any hobby or lifestyle really - for instance if someone asks me what I'm into I'll proberbly say 'computer games', but I'm unlikely to specify that I'm into MMORPGs until we've established that the other person knows something about computer games." Iv no argument with someone saying there into bdsm my point is when someone is being specific and saying they are submissive when in actual fact they just like being tied up or saying your a master when all you like is causing pain it's the wrong description of what you like .you use computer games as a metaphor so will go with that you wouldn't say you like fifa when actually you like call of duty? | |||
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"I agree with you OP, I’ve often wondered why 3 themes are put together as one. Indeed they can be interelated. But often one element is practiced but the umbrella term is still used. Probably guilty of that myself. Mrs That's a bit like saying 'I've often wondered why three different types of skiing are put together under one... you can have downhill skiing and cross country skiing...' etc'. Because it's a useful overall term that works as an umbrella for things that are often related in some way. But they didn't originate togeater they wernt all classed as one until about 1920 I think So? That was 100 years ago. It's now a useful way to describe what you're generally into. Saying 'I'm into BDSM' is easier than explaining all the different things I'm into. The same with any hobby or lifestyle really - for instance if someone asks me what I'm into I'll proberbly say 'computer games', but I'm unlikely to specify that I'm into MMORPGs until we've established that the other person knows something about computer games. Iv no argument with someone saying there into bdsm my point is when someone is being specific and saying they are submissive when in actual fact they just like being tied up or saying your a master when all you like is causing pain it's the wrong description of what you like .you use computer games as a metaphor so will go with that you wouldn't say you like fifa when actually you like call of duty?" The thing is, these terms don't have particularly fixed definitions. You might identify as a rope submissive. Or a masochistic master. And that's perfectly ok. | |||
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"If I see bdsm mentioned in a profile then I just take it as the generic term that it is. We all have our own kinks and limits, definitions etc, and they can be talked about before meeting anyone. The "interests" options here include a lot of generic terms, I don't think they are intended to tie anyone down to specifics. (Pun totally intended ) If someone states they like bdsm that covers it all but if someone say they are submissive that's specific. Nothing in our profile about bdsm. What do you glean from that ? Your username and the pink botty pics are a bit of a hint though : ) shucks No comment OP? It's not intended to pick on anyone specific. Its just my thoughts and i mean no offence to anyone." You started a thread about people who identify as master and sub. That’s us, so why not answer the question | |||
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"I agree with you OP, I’ve often wondered why 3 themes are put together as one. Indeed they can be interelated. But often one element is practiced but the umbrella term is still used. Probably guilty of that myself. Mrs That's a bit like saying 'I've often wondered why three different types of skiing are put together under one... you can have downhill skiing and cross country skiing...' etc'. Because it's a useful overall term that works as an umbrella for things that are often related in some way. But they didn't originate togeater they wernt all classed as one until about 1920 I think So? That was 100 years ago. It's now a useful way to describe what you're generally into. Saying 'I'm into BDSM' is easier than explaining all the different things I'm into. The same with any hobby or lifestyle really - for instance if someone asks me what I'm into I'll proberbly say 'computer games', but I'm unlikely to specify that I'm into MMORPGs until we've established that the other person knows something about computer games. Iv no argument with someone saying there into bdsm my point is when someone is being specific and saying they are submissive when in actual fact they just like being tied up or saying your a master when all you like is causing pain it's the wrong description of what you like .you use computer games as a metaphor so will go with that you wouldn't say you like fifa when actually you like call of duty?" Again we don’t state BDSM. And?? | |||
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"I agree with you OP, I’ve often wondered why 3 themes are put together as one. Indeed they can be interelated. But often one element is practiced but the umbrella term is still used. Probably guilty of that myself. Mrs That's a bit like saying 'I've often wondered why three different types of skiing are put together under one... you can have downhill skiing and cross country skiing...' etc'. Because it's a useful overall term that works as an umbrella for things that are often related in some way. But they didn't originate togeater they wernt all classed as one until about 1920 I think So? That was 100 years ago. It's now a useful way to describe what you're generally into. Saying 'I'm into BDSM' is easier than explaining all the different things I'm into. The same with any hobby or lifestyle really - for instance if someone asks me what I'm into I'll proberbly say 'computer games', but I'm unlikely to specify that I'm into MMORPGs until we've established that the other person knows something about computer games. Iv no argument with someone saying there into bdsm my point is when someone is being specific and saying they are submissive when in actual fact they just like being tied up or saying your a master when all you like is causing pain it's the wrong description of what you like .you use computer games as a metaphor so will go with that you wouldn't say you like fifa when actually you like call of duty? The thing is, these terms don't have particularly fixed definitions. You might identify as a rope submissive. Or a masochistic master. And that's perfectly ok." Those terms were brought in when it was all put under one umbrella to identify whether you like doing it to others or having it done to it has no relevance to the original meaning as I understand it | |||
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"I agree with you OP, I’ve often wondered why 3 themes are put together as one. Indeed they can be interelated. But often one element is practiced but the umbrella term is still used. Probably guilty of that myself. Mrs That's a bit like saying 'I've often wondered why three different types of skiing are put together under one... you can have downhill skiing and cross country skiing...' etc'. Because it's a useful overall term that works as an umbrella for things that are often related in some way. But they didn't originate togeater they wernt all classed as one until about 1920 I think So? That was 100 years ago. It's now a useful way to describe what you're generally into. Saying 'I'm into BDSM' is easier than explaining all the different things I'm into. The same with any hobby or lifestyle really - for instance if someone asks me what I'm into I'll proberbly say 'computer games', but I'm unlikely to specify that I'm into MMORPGs until we've established that the other person knows something about computer games. Iv no argument with someone saying there into bdsm my point is when someone is being specific and saying they are submissive when in actual fact they just like being tied up or saying your a master when all you like is causing pain it's the wrong description of what you like .you use computer games as a metaphor so will go with that you wouldn't say you like fifa when actually you like call of duty? Again we don’t state BDSM. And??" Think you missed the point | |||
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" Whereas I identify as submissive (sometimes) and enjoy relationships where the d/s dynamic is present at all times and in every thing we do. From having sex involving edgeplay, to choosing what I wear day to day, or what I eat when we go out." I love hearing about other people's tastes and experiences. I'm kind of the opposite ... if someone tries to dom me outside of the bedroom so to speak, I usually run a mile. I do quite like guys who are traditionally masculine in their social role and make me feel fem, but then that can become chauvinistic and patronising. It's a fine line. | |||
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"I agree with you OP, I’ve often wondered why 3 themes are put together as one. Indeed they can be interelated. But often one element is practiced but the umbrella term is still used. Probably guilty of that myself. Mrs That's a bit like saying 'I've often wondered why three different types of skiing are put together under one... you can have downhill skiing and cross country skiing...' etc'. Because it's a useful overall term that works as an umbrella for things that are often related in some way. But they didn't originate togeater they wernt all classed as one until about 1920 I think So? That was 100 years ago. It's now a useful way to describe what you're generally into. Saying 'I'm into BDSM' is easier than explaining all the different things I'm into. The same with any hobby or lifestyle really - for instance if someone asks me what I'm into I'll proberbly say 'computer games', but I'm unlikely to specify that I'm into MMORPGs until we've established that the other person knows something about computer games. Iv no argument with someone saying there into bdsm my point is when someone is being specific and saying they are submissive when in actual fact they just like being tied up or saying your a master when all you like is causing pain it's the wrong description of what you like .you use computer games as a metaphor so will go with that you wouldn't say you like fifa when actually you like call of duty?" Would you say OP that it is having all themes represented in one word, ie a letter for each theme, that causes potential confusion? That’s probably how I feel. Whereas to use the examples that others have given of umbrella terms eg skiing and computer games, there is not a representation of different parts of the activity within the word. Mrs | |||
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"I agree with you OP, I’ve often wondered why 3 themes are put together as one. Indeed they can be interelated. But often one element is practiced but the umbrella term is still used. Probably guilty of that myself. Mrs That's a bit like saying 'I've often wondered why three different types of skiing are put together under one... you can have downhill skiing and cross country skiing...' etc'. Because it's a useful overall term that works as an umbrella for things that are often related in some way. But they didn't originate togeater they wernt all classed as one until about 1920 I think So? That was 100 years ago. It's now a useful way to describe what you're generally into. Saying 'I'm into BDSM' is easier than explaining all the different things I'm into. The same with any hobby or lifestyle really - for instance if someone asks me what I'm into I'll proberbly say 'computer games', but I'm unlikely to specify that I'm into MMORPGs until we've established that the other person knows something about computer games. Iv no argument with someone saying there into bdsm my point is when someone is being specific and saying they are submissive when in actual fact they just like being tied up or saying your a master when all you like is causing pain it's the wrong description of what you like .you use computer games as a metaphor so will go with that you wouldn't say you like fifa when actually you like call of duty? Would you say OP that it is having all themes represented in one word, ie a letter for each theme, that causes potential confusion? That’s probably how I feel. Whereas to use the examples that others have given of umbrella terms eg skiing and computer games, there is not a representation of different parts of the activity within the word. Mrs" That's why I tend to use the term 'kink' and then specify that I'm into both BDSM and fetishistic activities - then break it down further if we're getting on well. | |||
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"I agree with you OP, I’ve often wondered why 3 themes are put together as one. Indeed they can be interelated. But often one element is practiced but the umbrella term is still used. Probably guilty of that myself. Mrs That's a bit like saying 'I've often wondered why three different types of skiing are put together under one... you can have downhill skiing and cross country skiing...' etc'. Because it's a useful overall term that works as an umbrella for things that are often related in some way. But they didn't originate togeater they wernt all classed as one until about 1920 I think So? That was 100 years ago. It's now a useful way to describe what you're generally into. Saying 'I'm into BDSM' is easier than explaining all the different things I'm into. The same with any hobby or lifestyle really - for instance if someone asks me what I'm into I'll proberbly say 'computer games', but I'm unlikely to specify that I'm into MMORPGs until we've established that the other person knows something about computer games. Iv no argument with someone saying there into bdsm my point is when someone is being specific and saying they are submissive when in actual fact they just like being tied up or saying your a master when all you like is causing pain it's the wrong description of what you like .you use computer games as a metaphor so will go with that you wouldn't say you like fifa when actually you like call of duty? Again we don’t state BDSM. And?? Think you missed the point" Why can’t you explain yourself then?? I’m a sub to my master, the two terms you’ve picked on. You’re saying people shouldn’t be using those names unless they state BDSM, which we don’t. You’re going on about the history and origins of different things which I frankly have no interest in reading about. What is your point OP? Have Sir and I no right to call ourselves master and sub in your opinion. Do tell... | |||
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"I agree with you OP, I’ve often wondered why 3 themes are put together as one. Indeed they can be interelated. But often one element is practiced but the umbrella term is still used. Probably guilty of that myself. Mrs That's a bit like saying 'I've often wondered why three different types of skiing are put together under one... you can have downhill skiing and cross country skiing...' etc'. Because it's a useful overall term that works as an umbrella for things that are often related in some way. But they didn't originate togeater they wernt all classed as one until about 1920 I think So? That was 100 years ago. It's now a useful way to describe what you're generally into. Saying 'I'm into BDSM' is easier than explaining all the different things I'm into. The same with any hobby or lifestyle really - for instance if someone asks me what I'm into I'll proberbly say 'computer games', but I'm unlikely to specify that I'm into MMORPGs until we've established that the other person knows something about computer games. Iv no argument with someone saying there into bdsm my point is when someone is being specific and saying they are submissive when in actual fact they just like being tied up or saying your a master when all you like is causing pain it's the wrong description of what you like .you use computer games as a metaphor so will go with that you wouldn't say you like fifa when actually you like call of duty? Would you say OP that it is having all themes represented in one word, ie a letter for each theme, that causes potential confusion? That’s probably how I feel. Whereas to use the examples that others have given of umbrella terms eg skiing and computer games, there is not a representation of different parts of the activity within the word. Mrs" Very true it does cause confusion they have tried to put a letter in for each B....Bondage D....Discipline D....Dominance S....sadism M... masachism The D is actually used twice but has been shortened to Bdsm | |||
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"I agree with you OP, I’ve often wondered why 3 themes are put together as one. Indeed they can be interelated. But often one element is practiced but the umbrella term is still used. Probably guilty of that myself. Mrs That's a bit like saying 'I've often wondered why three different types of skiing are put together under one... you can have downhill skiing and cross country skiing...' etc'. Because it's a useful overall term that works as an umbrella for things that are often related in some way. But they didn't originate togeater they wernt all classed as one until about 1920 I think So? That was 100 years ago. It's now a useful way to describe what you're generally into. Saying 'I'm into BDSM' is easier than explaining all the different things I'm into. The same with any hobby or lifestyle really - for instance if someone asks me what I'm into I'll proberbly say 'computer games', but I'm unlikely to specify that I'm into MMORPGs until we've established that the other person knows something about computer games. Iv no argument with someone saying there into bdsm my point is when someone is being specific and saying they are submissive when in actual fact they just like being tied up or saying your a master when all you like is causing pain it's the wrong description of what you like .you use computer games as a metaphor so will go with that you wouldn't say you like fifa when actually you like call of duty? Would you say OP that it is having all themes represented in one word, ie a letter for each theme, that causes potential confusion? That’s probably how I feel. Whereas to use the examples that others have given of umbrella terms eg skiing and computer games, there is not a representation of different parts of the activity within the word. Mrs Very true it does cause confusion they have tried to put a letter in for each B....Bondage D....Discipline D....Dominance S....sadism M... masachism The D is actually used twice but has been shortened to Bdsm" You’ve missed out ‘submission’. ‘S’ is used twice too | |||
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"BDSM is whatever you want it to be and play with people on the same page as you. I have little interest in people that want to adhere to strict definitions and criticise those who don't meet their criteria" Nobody criticising anybody | |||
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"I agree with you OP, I’ve often wondered why 3 themes are put together as one. Indeed they can be interelated. But often one element is practiced but the umbrella term is still used. Probably guilty of that myself. Mrs That's a bit like saying 'I've often wondered why three different types of skiing are put together under one... you can have downhill skiing and cross country skiing...' etc'. Because it's a useful overall term that works as an umbrella for things that are often related in some way. But they didn't originate togeater they wernt all classed as one until about 1920 I think So? That was 100 years ago. It's now a useful way to describe what you're generally into. Saying 'I'm into BDSM' is easier than explaining all the different things I'm into. The same with any hobby or lifestyle really - for instance if someone asks me what I'm into I'll proberbly say 'computer games', but I'm unlikely to specify that I'm into MMORPGs until we've established that the other person knows something about computer games. Iv no argument with someone saying there into bdsm my point is when someone is being specific and saying they are submissive when in actual fact they just like being tied up or saying your a master when all you like is causing pain it's the wrong description of what you like .you use computer games as a metaphor so will go with that you wouldn't say you like fifa when actually you like call of duty? Again we don’t state BDSM. And?? Think you missed the point Why can’t you explain yourself then?? I’m a sub to my master, the two terms you’ve picked on. You’re saying people shouldn’t be using those names unless they state BDSM, which we don’t. You’re going on about the history and origins of different things which I frankly have no interest in reading about. What is your point OP? Have Sir and I no right to call ourselves master and sub in your opinion. Do tell..." And that's my point you are specifically calling your selves that and that's fine it's when someone calls themselves submissive when they arnt interested in being controlled but only like being tied up. | |||
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"I agree with you OP, I’ve often wondered why 3 themes are put together as one. Indeed they can be interelated. But often one element is practiced but the umbrella term is still used. Probably guilty of that myself. Mrs That's a bit like saying 'I've often wondered why three different types of skiing are put together under one... you can have downhill skiing and cross country skiing...' etc'. Because it's a useful overall term that works as an umbrella for things that are often related in some way. But they didn't originate togeater they wernt all classed as one until about 1920 I think So? That was 100 years ago. It's now a useful way to describe what you're generally into. Saying 'I'm into BDSM' is easier than explaining all the different things I'm into. The same with any hobby or lifestyle really - for instance if someone asks me what I'm into I'll proberbly say 'computer games', but I'm unlikely to specify that I'm into MMORPGs until we've established that the other person knows something about computer games. Iv no argument with someone saying there into bdsm my point is when someone is being specific and saying they are submissive when in actual fact they just like being tied up or saying your a master when all you like is causing pain it's the wrong description of what you like .you use computer games as a metaphor so will go with that you wouldn't say you like fifa when actually you like call of duty? Would you say OP that it is having all themes represented in one word, ie a letter for each theme, that causes potential confusion? That’s probably how I feel. Whereas to use the examples that others have given of umbrella terms eg skiing and computer games, there is not a representation of different parts of the activity within the word. Mrs Very true it does cause confusion they have tried to put a letter in for each B....Bondage D....Discipline D....Dominance S....sadism M... masachism The D is actually used twice but has been shortened to Bdsm You’ve missed out ‘submission’. ‘S’ is used twice too " Sorry rushing lol | |||
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"BDSM is whatever you want it to be and play with people on the same page as you. I have little interest in people that want to adhere to strict definitions and criticise those who don't meet their criteria Nobody criticising anybody" They are. The op is saying you can't call yourself a submissive or master if you don't partake in every element of bdsm | |||
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"I agree with you OP, I’ve often wondered why 3 themes are put together as one. Indeed they can be interelated. But often one element is practiced but the umbrella term is still used. Probably guilty of that myself. Mrs That's a bit like saying 'I've often wondered why three different types of skiing are put together under one... you can have downhill skiing and cross country skiing...' etc'. Because it's a useful overall term that works as an umbrella for things that are often related in some way. But they didn't originate togeater they wernt all classed as one until about 1920 I think So? That was 100 years ago. It's now a useful way to describe what you're generally into. Saying 'I'm into BDSM' is easier than explaining all the different things I'm into. The same with any hobby or lifestyle really - for instance if someone asks me what I'm into I'll proberbly say 'computer games', but I'm unlikely to specify that I'm into MMORPGs until we've established that the other person knows something about computer games. Iv no argument with someone saying there into bdsm my point is when someone is being specific and saying they are submissive when in actual fact they just like being tied up or saying your a master when all you like is causing pain it's the wrong description of what you like .you use computer games as a metaphor so will go with that you wouldn't say you like fifa when actually you like call of duty? Again we don’t state BDSM. And?? Think you missed the point Why can’t you explain yourself then?? I’m a sub to my master, the two terms you’ve picked on. You’re saying people shouldn’t be using those names unless they state BDSM, which we don’t. You’re going on about the history and origins of different things which I frankly have no interest in reading about. What is your point OP? Have Sir and I no right to call ourselves master and sub in your opinion. Do tell... And that's my point you are specifically calling your selves that and that's fine it's when someone calls themselves submissive when they arnt interested in being controlled but only like being tied up." How do you know what I like? Where do we say what our own dynamic involves? There are many people identifying as sub and master on here without giving detail. I would suggest that unless you take the time to discuss with the individuals that you can’t know this. You don’t want to offend yet your thread is titled contraversial. | |||
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"BDSM is whatever you want it to be and play with people on the same page as you. I have little interest in people that want to adhere to strict definitions and criticise those who don't meet their criteria Nobody criticising anybody They are. The op is saying you can't call yourself a submissive or master if you don't partake in every element of bdsm" I'm not criticising I'm not saying that please re read | |||
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"My thoughts are that we do what we want and call ourselves what we want. We aren’t involving anyone else so it’s no one else’s businsss." | |||
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"BDSM is whatever you want it to be and play with people on the same page as you. I have little interest in people that want to adhere to strict definitions and criticise those who don't meet their criteria Nobody criticising anybody They are. The op is saying you can't call yourself a submissive or master if you don't partake in every element of bdsm I'm not criticising I'm not saying that please re read " From your original post 'doesn't mean because you like one part it makes you a master or a submissive.' | |||
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"BDSM is whatever you want it to be and play with people on the same page as you. I have little interest in people that want to adhere to strict definitions and criticise those who don't meet their criteria Nobody criticising anybody They are. The op is saying you can't call yourself a submissive or master if you don't partake in every element of bdsm" He’s discussing the word and it’s meaning and the accuracy of its use and the evolution of the word. He has not criticised people for using this word, though it’s seems to be taken that way. | |||
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"I agree with you OP, I’ve often wondered why 3 themes are put together as one. Indeed they can be interelated. But often one element is practiced but the umbrella term is still used. Probably guilty of that myself. Mrs That's a bit like saying 'I've often wondered why three different types of skiing are put together under one... you can have downhill skiing and cross country skiing...' etc'. Because it's a useful overall term that works as an umbrella for things that are often related in some way. But they didn't originate togeater they wernt all classed as one until about 1920 I think So? That was 100 years ago. It's now a useful way to describe what you're generally into. Saying 'I'm into BDSM' is easier than explaining all the different things I'm into. The same with any hobby or lifestyle really - for instance if someone asks me what I'm into I'll proberbly say 'computer games', but I'm unlikely to specify that I'm into MMORPGs until we've established that the other person knows something about computer games. Iv no argument with someone saying there into bdsm my point is when someone is being specific and saying they are submissive when in actual fact they just like being tied up or saying your a master when all you like is causing pain it's the wrong description of what you like .you use computer games as a metaphor so will go with that you wouldn't say you like fifa when actually you like call of duty? Again we don’t state BDSM. And?? Think you missed the point Why can’t you explain yourself then?? I’m a sub to my master, the two terms you’ve picked on. You’re saying people shouldn’t be using those names unless they state BDSM, which we don’t. You’re going on about the history and origins of different things which I frankly have no interest in reading about. What is your point OP? Have Sir and I no right to call ourselves master and sub in your opinion. Do tell... And that's my point you are specifically calling your selves that and that's fine it's when someone calls themselves submissive when they arnt interested in being controlled but only like being tied up. How do you know what I like? Where do we say what our own dynamic involves? There are many people identifying as sub and master on here without giving detail. I would suggest that unless you take the time to discuss with the individuals that you can’t know this. You don’t want to offend yet your thread is titled contraversial. " So if you read a profile and it says submissive what does that tell you? | |||
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"BDSM is whatever you want it to be and play with people on the same page as you. I have little interest in people that want to adhere to strict definitions and criticise those who don't meet their criteria Nobody criticising anybody They are. The op is saying you can't call yourself a submissive or master if you don't partake in every element of bdsm He’s discussing the word and it’s meaning and the accuracy of its use and the evolution of the word. He has not criticised people for using this word, though it’s seems to be taken that way. " He's said it a couple of times now. | |||
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"No it's an interest of mine I did some research years ago when I first got involved with Bdsm and to answer another question yes is you are a submissive chances are you like one of the other 2 but my point is if you like causing pain it doesn't make you a master." Here | |||
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"BDSM is whatever you want it to be and play with people on the same page as you. I have little interest in people that want to adhere to strict definitions and criticise those who don't meet their criteria Nobody criticising anybody They are. The op is saying you can't call yourself a submissive or master if you don't partake in every element of bdsm I'm not criticising I'm not saying that please re read From your original post 'doesn't mean because you like one part it makes you a master or a submissive.' " Thread title ; this is going to cause controversy You wanted to cause contraversy OP now you’re back peddling and not wanting to offend. Really make your mind up. | |||
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" So if you read a profile and it says submissive what does that tell you?" It tells me that an individual either identifies as a submissive, or that they like being the submissive partner in activities that are generally regarded as being on the BDSM and fetish spectrum. Exactly how I interpreted it would depend on the words they placed either side. | |||
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"I agree with you OP, I’ve often wondered why 3 themes are put together as one. Indeed they can be interelated. But often one element is practiced but the umbrella term is still used. Probably guilty of that myself. Mrs That's a bit like saying 'I've often wondered why three different types of skiing are put together under one... you can have downhill skiing and cross country skiing...' etc'. Because it's a useful overall term that works as an umbrella for things that are often related in some way. But they didn't originate togeater they wernt all classed as one until about 1920 I think So? That was 100 years ago. It's now a useful way to describe what you're generally into. Saying 'I'm into BDSM' is easier than explaining all the different things I'm into. The same with any hobby or lifestyle really - for instance if someone asks me what I'm into I'll proberbly say 'computer games', but I'm unlikely to specify that I'm into MMORPGs until we've established that the other person knows something about computer games. Iv no argument with someone saying there into bdsm my point is when someone is being specific and saying they are submissive when in actual fact they just like being tied up or saying your a master when all you like is causing pain it's the wrong description of what you like .you use computer games as a metaphor so will go with that you wouldn't say you like fifa when actually you like call of duty? Again we don’t state BDSM. And?? Think you missed the point Why can’t you explain yourself then?? I’m a sub to my master, the two terms you’ve picked on. You’re saying people shouldn’t be using those names unless they state BDSM, which we don’t. You’re going on about the history and origins of different things which I frankly have no interest in reading about. What is your point OP? Have Sir and I no right to call ourselves master and sub in your opinion. Do tell... And that's my point you are specifically calling your selves that and that's fine it's when someone calls themselves submissive when they arnt interested in being controlled but only like being tied up. How do you know what I like? Where do we say what our own dynamic involves? There are many people identifying as sub and master on here without giving detail. I would suggest that unless you take the time to discuss with the individuals that you can’t know this. You don’t want to offend yet your thread is titled contraversial. So if you read a profile and it says submissive what does that tell you?" That the person identifies as submissive regardless of what I or you think. | |||
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"Why are so many people objecting to the OP starting this thread? It’s presumably a question that interested him and he wanted to have a discussion. Nothing more sinister than that. Mrs" He wanted to cause controversy ??? | |||
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"BDSM is whatever you want it to be and play with people on the same page as you. I have little interest in people that want to adhere to strict definitions and criticise those who don't meet their criteria Nobody criticising anybody They are. The op is saying you can't call yourself a submissive or master if you don't partake in every element of bdsm I'm not criticising I'm not saying that please re read From your original post 'doesn't mean because you like one part it makes you a master or a submissive.' Thread title ; this is going to cause controversy You wanted to cause contraversy OP now you’re back peddling and not wanting to offend. Really make your mind up. " It's a debate there will be people for and against so controversial every body has different opinions I'm just expressing mine. | |||
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"Why are so many people objecting to the OP starting this thread? It’s presumably a question that interested him and he wanted to have a discussion. Nothing more sinister than that. Mrs" So discussion doesn't involve opposing views in your world then? Just always agreement and support? Pretty boring discussions in my view. | |||
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"Why are so many people objecting to the OP starting this thread? It’s presumably a question that interested him and he wanted to have a discussion. Nothing more sinister than that. Mrs He wanted to cause controversy ???" Well we don’t know that for sure. He certainly suspected that people would take it the wrong way judging by his thread title. | |||
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"Why are so many people objecting to the OP starting this thread? It’s presumably a question that interested him and he wanted to have a discussion. Nothing more sinister than that. Mrs" If his feeling were like you suggest he could have written BDSM a question Or BDSM what are your thoughts. Then he’s gone onto attacking profiles identifying sub and/ or. master at which point I feel the need to interject. Is that a surprise ? | |||
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"Why are so many people objecting to the OP starting this thread? It’s presumably a question that interested him and he wanted to have a discussion. Nothing more sinister than that. Mrs So discussion doesn't involve opposing views in your world then? Just always agreement and support? Pretty boring discussions in my view. " I never said people had to agree in a discussion. | |||
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"Why are so many people objecting to the OP starting this thread? It’s presumably a question that interested him and he wanted to have a discussion. Nothing more sinister than that. Mrs So discussion doesn't involve opposing views in your world then? Just always agreement and support? Pretty boring discussions in my view. I never said people had to agree in a discussion." But you called out those objecting to the premise of the op. | |||
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"Why are so many people objecting to the OP starting this thread? It’s presumably a question that interested him and he wanted to have a discussion. Nothing more sinister than that. Mrs If his feeling were like you suggest he could have written BDSM a question Or BDSM what are your thoughts. Then he’s gone onto attacking profiles identifying sub and/ or. master at which point I feel the need to interject. Is that a surprise ?" . I’m sorry, I just didn’t take it that way. It didn’t come across to me as attack. I guess I see things differently. I’d rather give him the benefit of the doubt though. | |||
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"Why are so many people objecting to the OP starting this thread? It’s presumably a question that interested him and he wanted to have a discussion. Nothing more sinister than that. Mrs If his feeling were like you suggest he could have written BDSM a question Or BDSM what are your thoughts. Then he’s gone onto attacking profiles identifying sub and/ or. master at which point I feel the need to interject. Is that a surprise ?. I’m sorry, I just didn’t take it that way. It didn’t come across to me as attack. I guess I see things differently. I’d rather give him the benefit of the doubt though. " Surely you can see we do define as Master and Sub though and do object ... | |||
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"Why are so many people objecting to the OP starting this thread? It’s presumably a question that interested him and he wanted to have a discussion. Nothing more sinister than that. Mrs If his feeling were like you suggest he could have written BDSM a question Or BDSM what are your thoughts. Then he’s gone onto attacking profiles identifying sub and/ or. master at which point I feel the need to interject. Is that a surprise ?" What I feel is wrong is where profiles (which I have mentioned none) say submissive or master specifically when infact they maybe only interested in rope play and or being whipped for example and not being submissive in the true sense. I dont know how many different ways to write it | |||
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" Surely you can see we do define as Master and Sub though and do object ..." Actually... I haven't seen the bit where he said that people shouldn't identify as master or sub. The OP just said that sometimes people were identifying as master or sub when they liked things that weren't really related to master sub behaviour. | |||
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"Did you pop over to wiki to see if you could impress someone with your knowledge of the history of BDSM this morning OP?! " I class my self as dominant but I prefer the degrading, humiliation and objectification side of that world. I have been pulled on this a few times as it isnt strictly a ‘Dom’. Label, Labels! | |||
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" Surely you can see we do define as Master and Sub though and do object ... Actually... I haven't seen the bit where he said that people shouldn't identify as master or sub. The OP just said that sometimes people were identifying as master or sub when they liked things that weren't really related to master sub behaviour." Thank you you put it better than I did. | |||
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"Did you pop over to wiki to see if you could impress someone with your knowledge of the history of BDSM this morning OP?! I class my self as dominant but I prefer the degrading, humiliation and objectification side of that world. I have been pulled on this a few times as it isnt strictly a ‘Dom’. Label, Labels! " They are wrong. Humiliation and objectification is a totally legit form of domination and submission partnerships. | |||
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"Minx is sub. Completely but won't submit to just anyone. There MUST be a element of trust If there is no trust there is no way in hell I will submit. " Over the last 2 years I have met some amazing Dom's and the trust and respect I have for them I have no issues submitting my body and mind to them but you have to find the ones who are not just 50shade wannabes and find the ones that have been on the scene for years. Go to events and munches , talk and see what happens Minx | |||
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"Why are so many people objecting to the OP starting this thread? It’s presumably a question that interested him and he wanted to have a discussion. Nothing more sinister than that. Mrs If his feeling were like you suggest he could have written BDSM a question Or BDSM what are your thoughts. Then he’s gone onto attacking profiles identifying sub and/ or. master at which point I feel the need to interject. Is that a surprise ?. I’m sorry, I just didn’t take it that way. It didn’t come across to me as attack. I guess I see things differently. I’d rather give him the benefit of the doubt though. Surely you can see we do define as Master and Sub though and do object ..." I simply see it that he was discussing whether the term BDSM should be used as an umbrella term, to which people can agree or disagree. Mrs | |||
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" Surely you can see we do define as Master and Sub though and do object ... Actually... I haven't seen the bit where he said that people shouldn't identify as master or sub. The OP just said that sometimes people were identifying as master or sub when they liked things that weren't really related to master sub behaviour." It was in his OP. He appears to be looking at profiles and coming to these conclusions. I’m using us as a good example of where that falls down. I’m actually just playing devils advocate here for what I perceive to be a poor thread and title in my opinion. | |||
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" Surely you can see we do define as Master and Sub though and do object ... Actually... I haven't seen the bit where he said that people shouldn't identify as master or sub. The OP just said that sometimes people were identifying as master or sub when they liked things that weren't really related to master sub behaviour. It was in his OP. He appears to be looking at profiles and coming to these conclusions. I’m using us as a good example of where that falls down. I’m actually just playing devils advocate here for what I perceive to be a poor thread and title in my opinion. " The problem is that nobody has said what you're claiming has been said. | |||
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" Surely you can see we do define as Master and Sub though and do object ... Actually... I haven't seen the bit where he said that people shouldn't identify as master or sub. The OP just said that sometimes people were identifying as master or sub when they liked things that weren't really related to master sub behaviour. Thank you you put it better than I did." The thing is though (as suggested in my earlier post) who defines what constitutes Master/Mistress/Dom/me and sub behaviour? In my opinion the two (or more) people involved in that specific relationship/scene and no-one else - therefore regardless of what others think there is no right or wrong there is just the unique safe, sane and consensual definition agreed between all involved | |||
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" Surely you can see we do define as Master and Sub though and do object ... Actually... I haven't seen the bit where he said that people shouldn't identify as master or sub. The OP just said that sometimes people were identifying as master or sub when they liked things that weren't really related to master sub behaviour. It was in his OP. He appears to be looking at profiles and coming to these conclusions. I’m using us as a good example of where that falls down. I’m actually just playing devils advocate here for what I perceive to be a poor thread and title in my opinion. " Well if he is criticising people for using the word BDSM when they don’t embrace all elements, I don’t think he meant you guys, as you don’t use that term in your profile and you have stated in the thread that it’s not a term you use. I on the other should take offence as we do use the term BDSM in our profile. But I’m not offended because I’ve asked myself the very same question. | |||
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" Surely you can see we do define as Master and Sub though and do object ... Actually... I haven't seen the bit where he said that people shouldn't identify as master or sub. The OP just said that sometimes people were identifying as master or sub when they liked things that weren't really related to master sub behaviour. It was in his OP. He appears to be looking at profiles and coming to these conclusions. I’m using us as a good example of where that falls down. I’m actually just playing devils advocate here for what I perceive to be a poor thread and title in my opinion. The problem is that nobody has said what you're claiming has been said." Not a problem to me. If it is to you just reread the thread and what the OP put from the outset | |||
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" Not a problem to me. If it is to you just reread the thread and what the OP put from the outset " I did, because I was puzzled at your posts. | |||
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"I am submissive, I prefer to use that term rather than 'being a sub'. For me the lines aren't blurred. If play involves any form of bondage, discipline sadism, masochism, dominance or submission then it is BDSM. Simples. I agree with this though, I think submissive and sub have different meanings these days. They don't. Sub is just a shortened form of submissive." That is a case of perception and context. I am submissive, not a I am a submissive. Shorten the first one, and it doesn't make sense in the queens English. | |||
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"Iv been thinking about this the last few days and I feel compelled to put it down in writing. Iv come across some profiles where the person states they are sub and like being tied up or spanked but not controlled . It troubles me that the lines have been blurred about the meaning of Bdsm. " Firstly, why would other people's choices trouble you in any way if they are consenting adults? Each to their own with their own personal definitions " Just because Bdsm is all lumped together with other fetishes it doesn't mean because you like one part it makes you a master or a submissive. Remember it's only my thoughts What are yours?." Secondly with most fetishes in Bdsm, one person is 'doing', one 'receives' Whatever names they choose to use is up to them - Master,sub,Dom..their own names etc. It's personal to that couple and for them to work it out. Rules to adhere to for Bdsm? I don't think so. Guidance and suggestions where you can adapt it to suit everyone is probably where most people are at. Just my humble opinion | |||
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"I am submissive, I prefer to use that term rather than 'being a sub'. For me the lines aren't blurred. If play involves any form of bondage, discipline sadism, masochism, dominance or submission then it is BDSM. Simples. I agree with this though, I think submissive and sub have different meanings these days. They don't. Sub is just a shortened form of submissive. That is a case of perception and context. I am submissive, not a I am a submissive. Shorten the first one, and it doesn't make sense in the queens English. " It makes sense in the context of the particular linguists of the BDSM scene. 'I am sub' 'I am a sub' Both work. | |||
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"I am failing in avoiding responding in threads. " I failed here too | |||
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"I think I understand the OP point a bit. Like the threads about "fake Doms", he's maybe trying to say that simply enjoying whacking someone with a cane doesn't make you a "master". Of course, anyone can call themselves anything they want! On the submissive side, maybe he hasn't met the term "bottom" , which is generally (on the scene) understood to mean someone who enjoys experiencing certain stuff but without giving up control. It's just names and labels... And as such are a starting point for further conversation and not meant to be taken as gospel. I didn't get any sense of criticism from the OP though... Can't remember what's on my profile, but I'm definitely of a sexually submissive inclination, so wouldn't be interested in any profiles where the male identified as sub or as wanting to be tied up and spanked... " I always thought that "bottom" meant gay/bi males who like to receive anal but not give it. Just goes to show how subjective these terms are I guess. | |||
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"I think I understand the OP point a bit. Like the threads about "fake Doms", he's maybe trying to say that simply enjoying whacking someone with a cane doesn't make you a "master". Of course, anyone can call themselves anything they want! On the submissive side, maybe he hasn't met the term "bottom" , which is generally (on the scene) understood to mean someone who enjoys experiencing certain stuff but without giving up control. It's just names and labels... And as such are a starting point for further conversation and not meant to be taken as gospel. I didn't get any sense of criticism from the OP though... Can't remember what's on my profile, but I'm definitely of a sexually submissive inclination, so wouldn't be interested in any profiles where the male identified as sub or as wanting to be tied up and spanked... I always thought that "bottom" meant gay/bi males who like to receive anal but not give it. Just goes to show how subjective these terms are I guess. " True, very subjective. But in kink circles it means wanting the kinky stuff withiut the submission (generally lol) | |||
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"I think I understand the OP point a bit. Like the threads about "fake Doms", he's maybe trying to say that simply enjoying whacking someone with a cane doesn't make you a "master". Of course, anyone can call themselves anything they want! On the submissive side, maybe he hasn't met the term "bottom" , which is generally (on the scene) understood to mean someone who enjoys experiencing certain stuff but without giving up control. It's just names and labels... And as such are a starting point for further conversation and not meant to be taken as gospel. I didn't get any sense of criticism from the OP though... Can't remember what's on my profile, but I'm definitely of a sexually submissive inclination, so wouldn't be interested in any profiles where the male identified as sub or as wanting to be tied up and spanked... I always thought that "bottom" meant gay/bi males who like to receive anal but not give it. Just goes to show how subjective these terms are I guess. " It does mean that. It also is often used in a kink sense when you do not want to play with dominance and submission. I like bottoming for rope play. I'm not particularly interested in having rope used on me in a submissive context. | |||
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"I am failing in avoiding responding in threads. Recently there has been some very good inclusive threads on bdsm. However this thread (in my view) is a regression to territoriality and finger pointing. For me OP gets the history of shibari wrong (I am currently reading Master K' s 'The Beauty of Kinbaku's which provides references and footnotes, I am rope geeky) therefore I personally would not trust OP's facts on other matters. In regard to his opinion and in terms of bdsm it is my suggestion that as long as it is consensual and not exploitative there is no true way to do bdsm or kink. As for the definition of bdsm there was a long thread on it last year. If anyone does not want to do the research here is Wikipedia. The term "BDSM" is first recorded in a Usenet posting from 1991,[1] and is interpreted as a combination of the abbreviations B/D (Bondage and Discipline), D/s (Dominance and submission), and S/M (Sadism and Masochism). BDSM is now used as a catch-all phrase covering a wide range of activities, forms of interpersonal relationships, and distinct subcultures. BDSM communities generally welcome anyone with a non-normative streak who identifies with the community; this may include cross-dressers, body modification enthusiasts, animal roleplayers, rubber fetishists, and others." TBH, I wouldn't trust anyone who quotes wikipedia as a source! | |||
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"I am failing in avoiding responding in threads. Recently there has been some very good inclusive threads on bdsm. However this thread (in my view) is a regression to territoriality and finger pointing. For me OP gets the history of shibari wrong (I am currently reading Master K' s 'The Beauty of Kinbaku's which provides references and footnotes, I am rope geeky) therefore I personally would not trust OP's facts on other matters. In regard to his opinion and in terms of bdsm it is my suggestion that as long as it is consensual and not exploitative there is no true way to do bdsm or kink. As for the definition of bdsm there was a long thread on it last year. If anyone does not want to do the research here is Wikipedia. The term "BDSM" is first recorded in a Usenet posting from 1991,[1] and is interpreted as a combination of the abbreviations B/D (Bondage and Discipline), D/s (Dominance and submission), and S/M (Sadism and Masochism). BDSM is now used as a catch-all phrase covering a wide range of activities, forms of interpersonal relationships, and distinct subcultures. BDSM communities generally welcome anyone with a non-normative streak who identifies with the community; this may include cross-dressers, body modification enthusiasts, animal roleplayers, rubber fetishists, and others. TBH, I wouldn't trust anyone who quotes wikipedia as a source!" Wikipedia is one of the few sites on Fab that can be quoted without receiving a ban. Anything bdsm specific would generally receive a ban. But feel free to be helpful and suggest some links or sites acceptable to fab which are bdsm specific. | |||
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"I am failing in avoiding responding in threads. Recently there has been some very good inclusive threads on bdsm. However this thread (in my view) is a regression to territoriality and finger pointing. For me OP gets the history of shibari wrong (I am currently reading Master K' s 'The Beauty of Kinbaku's which provides references and footnotes, I am rope geeky) therefore I personally would not trust OP's facts on other matters. In regard to his opinion and in terms of bdsm it is my suggestion that as long as it is consensual and not exploitative there is no true way to do bdsm or kink. As for the definition of bdsm there was a long thread on it last year. If anyone does not want to do the research here is Wikipedia. The term "BDSM" is first recorded in a Usenet posting from 1991,[1] and is interpreted as a combination of the abbreviations B/D (Bondage and Discipline), D/s (Dominance and submission), and S/M (Sadism and Masochism). BDSM is now used as a catch-all phrase covering a wide range of activities, forms of interpersonal relationships, and distinct subcultures. BDSM communities generally welcome anyone with a non-normative streak who identifies with the community; this may include cross-dressers, body modification enthusiasts, animal roleplayers, rubber fetishists, and others. TBH, I wouldn't trust anyone who quotes wikipedia as a source! Wikipedia is one of the few sites on Fab that can be quoted without receiving a ban. Anything bdsm specific would generally receive a ban. But feel free to be helpful and suggest some links or sites acceptable to fab which are bdsm specific." You can quote anything you like, you just can't hyperlink to most sites. | |||
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"I am failing in avoiding responding in threads. Recently there has been some very good inclusive threads on bdsm. However this thread (in my view) is a regression to territoriality and finger pointing. For me OP gets the history of shibari wrong (I am currently reading Master K' s 'The Beauty of Kinbaku's which provides references and footnotes, I am rope geeky) therefore I personally would not trust OP's facts on other matters. In regard to his opinion and in terms of bdsm it is my suggestion that as long as it is consensual and not exploitative there is no true way to do bdsm or kink. As for the definition of bdsm there was a long thread on it last year. If anyone does not want to do the research here is Wikipedia. The term "BDSM" is first recorded in a Usenet posting from 1991,[1] and is interpreted as a combination of the abbreviations B/D (Bondage and Discipline), D/s (Dominance and submission), and S/M (Sadism and Masochism). BDSM is now used as a catch-all phrase covering a wide range of activities, forms of interpersonal relationships, and distinct subcultures. BDSM communities generally welcome anyone with a non-normative streak who identifies with the community; this may include cross-dressers, body modification enthusiasts, animal roleplayers, rubber fetishists, and others. TBH, I wouldn't trust anyone who quotes wikipedia as a source! Wikipedia is one of the few sites on Fab that can be quoted without receiving a ban. Anything bdsm specific would generally receive a ban. But feel free to be helpful and suggest some links or sites acceptable to fab which are bdsm specific. You can quote anything you like, you just can't hyperlink to most sites." You are ducking the question. To help most on here to research a point to make a decision about an issue and to to do quick research, providing a link to sites where information is gathered together is better than a mass of quotes which may take time to verify. As quote without full context I would suggest is partially helpful. | |||
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