FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to Swingers Chat

Why do people put tips in their profile?

Jump to newest
 

By *rontier Psychiatrist OP   Man
over a year ago

Coventry

Why do people put in their profile things not to say or do when messaging them? Surely they want to identify and avoid such people? Surely the best way of identifying the wrong type of person is to allow them to play red flag bingo with you? If you give them pointers on your red flags they will disguise these red flags that may normally indicative of them?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

That's a very good point!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's probably the most sensible thing I've heard on here in a long time .

I've never really thought of that whilst doing my own profile .

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've always wandered that when I see women have "no married men" on their profile.

So basically he's just going to lie from the offset lol

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why do people put in their profile things not to say or do when messaging them? Surely they want to identify and avoid such people? Surely the best way of identifying the wrong type of person is to allow them to play red flag bingo with you? If you give them pointers on your red flags they will disguise these red flags that may normally indicative of them?"

Good thinking x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rontier Psychiatrist OP   Man
over a year ago

Coventry

I just cant pathom it? I've always thought its illogical. It seems a total home goal in terms of finding the right people.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why do people put in their profile things not to say or do when messaging them? Surely they want to identify and avoid such people? Surely the best way of identifying the wrong type of person is to allow them to play red flag bingo with you? If you give them pointers on your red flags they will disguise these red flags that may normally indicative of them?"

It works the same way when saying what you *are* looking for too unfortunately. I've changed my profile different ways and people say they are looking for whatever I say I'm looking for. Best to say little so they have nothing to bullshit about.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree op. Keep it vague. It's the only way. Keep em confused

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *lik and PaulCouple
over a year ago

cahoots


"I've always wandered that when I see women have "no married men" on their profile.

So basically he's just going to lie from the offset lol "

The vast majority don't read the profile anyway so they wouldn't pick up on any useful information.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ampWithABrainWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

Acually I've found it adds a much better red flag. Let's me know almost immediately if they've even scanned my text - if they clearly haven't instant delete

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *itch and TwatCouple
over a year ago

Nr Rushden Lakes


"Why do people put in their profile things not to say or do when messaging them? Surely they want to identify and avoid such people? Surely the best way of identifying the wrong type of person is to allow them to play red flag bingo with you? If you give them pointers on your red flags they will disguise these red flags that may normally indicative of them?

It works the same way when saying what you *are* looking for too unfortunately. I've changed my profile different ways and people say they are looking for whatever I say I'm looking for. Best to say little so they have nothing to bullshit about."

Agree with the OP entirely, but not with your reply. We understand where you’re coming from but it doesn’t out those who don’t read profiles (the first step for us). If they don’t understand we are looking for connection and fun rather than wannabe pornstars, then they are given a polite no straight away. After that we chat to see if they are flirty and fun and get our sense of humour. After that, who knows? By not giving a positive indication of what you’re looking for, you miss out that first step. Each to their own way of operating of course...much love, Twat and Bitch (who generally reverse polarity on the forums)

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree OP, that's a very sensible take on profiles. XXX

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why do people put in their profile things not to say or do when messaging them? Surely they want to identify and avoid such people? Surely the best way of identifying the wrong type of person is to allow them to play red flag bingo with you? If you give them pointers on your red flags they will disguise these red flags that may normally indicative of them?"

I guess I've done this, as I say early on in my profile that crappy one-liners and cock photos will probably get ignored.

Has it reduced the number of crappy one-liners and cock pics I get? Possibly a little. Has it encouraged others to make an effort with their messages? Yes, I think it has a bit.

I've been here about seven years now on and off, and like others here I do find that in most cases it makes not the slightest difference what my profile says. I still like keeping it fairly long and detailed though, as once in a while I do get the occasional gem who reads the whole thing and picks up on a shared taste or kink or whatever. Also I think that keeping my profile as it is does put off a lot of people, but I really call that a result as I think it filters out people who probably aren't my type anyway.

Generally though with me, it's a more vague thing ... style of writing, general feel of a message/profile that makes me decide if I'm interested or not, rather than specific points or "red flags".

If someone's a bullshitter, i.e. disguising red flags, I find that generally becomes apparent within the first few messages. Or they get impatient and move on which is fine.

On the whole though I've found most people here to be very "This is me, like it or leave it" rather than playing dumb games to get a shag. Feeling that someone is deliberately trying to mislead, or outright fakes and liars, I have found to be a minority.

I also say I won't meet married/attached, and for the most part people have been pretty up front about it. Maybe it encourages some to lie from the start but I find that my instincts pick up on that or they lose interest pretty quickly. But as a rule I won't meet anyone until we've had some conversation here and then a social meet or two before anything else. I think that in itself puts a lot of people off and for the rest I tend to trust my feelings and instincts.

I guess it's different too according to what people are here for. I mean if I were looking for regular and numerous one-offs etc, then I'd write a different profile as opposed to one that I hope will attract quality over quantity.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well spotted op, pm them and let them know

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor


"Why do people put in their profile things not to say or do when messaging them? Surely they want to identify and avoid such people? Surely the best way of identifying the wrong type of person is to allow them to play red flag bingo with you? If you give them pointers on your red flags they will disguise these red flags that may normally indicative of them?

It works the same way when saying what you *are* looking for too unfortunately. I've changed my profile different ways and people say they are looking for whatever I say I'm looking for. Best to say little so they have nothing to bullshit about."

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good point.

Although if I keep getting anal sex requests I might cry or scream.

Not sure if it's not reading the profile or just to annoy me.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *unandbuckCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield

Good point!

It's similar in some ways to the profile advice threads, which guide people away from showing their true self, to appear semi-sane

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ampWithABrainWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

"If someone's a bullshitter, i.e. disguising red flags, I find that generally becomes apparent within the first few messages. Or they get impatient and move on which is fine." So true, people can't hide who they really are for long.

Re cheats - there's certain things (that I won't list fully) that indicate this to be the case fairly easily too. I've sussed most out within a few messages even if they've tried to hide it (then you get all the "we sleep in separate rooms, divorce in progress crap - aye right!)

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why do people put in their profile things not to say or do when messaging them? Surely they want to identify and avoid such people? Surely the best way of identifying the wrong type of person is to allow them to play red flag bingo with you? If you give them pointers on your red flags they will disguise these red flags that may normally indicative of them?"

Probably the most sensible and useful thread I have read for a long long time!!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why do people put in their profile things not to say or do when messaging them? Surely they want to identify and avoid such people? Surely the best way of identifying the wrong type of person is to allow them to play red flag bingo with you? If you give them pointers on your red flags they will disguise these red flags that may normally indicative of them?"

Some don't find it easy to message or know what to say. Others just copy and paste. Others are green to this lifestyle and simply say, "How are you?"

The party receiving these messages after some months are kinda fed up of the repetitiveness, they would like to cut to the chase and start further down a conversation. So they often ask potential meets not to do that, have a think and come up with a much better message.

So the person is not necessarily the wrong type, we are all different and have different expectations but we would like to skip the usual 2 or 3 messages.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This thread is a tease. Opened it hoping for a tip for the 3.30 at Ascot tomorrow

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ackDMissMorganCouple
over a year ago

Halifax

They may be able to disguise themselves for a little while,but most will generally slip up .

Plus most dont read a profile anyway,so it doesnt matter what you put.

Miss

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I tend to agree with the OP.

The only thing I'd add over and above what's already been said is that for me personally, I find profiles which list a huge string of 'don'ts' to be extremely negative and therefore a major turn off.

I understand the sentiment quite well, and also understand how frustrated folks can get, but letting that frustration leak through onto your profile is (for me at least) is a real downer.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top