FabSwingers.com forum: A question for black/Asian men in the swinging world

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

When you see a black or Asian woman on here who states she only plays with white men (or men of a different race to herself) do you consider her a sellout or a coconut?

The amount of abuse I receive on here because I choose to only meet white men is awful, when I'm simply minding my own business.

Surely it's easier to just pass me by?

(Obviously anyone can put in their 2 cents but I'm really interested in men of those races opinion)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Everyone has their preferences and should be respected.

No different to the huge amount of women on here that prefer black guys.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Peoples tastes should be respected. Too many judgemental people on this site

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By *hatYorkLadMan
over a year ago

York

It's a preference like anything else, nothing wrong with you wanting to meet white men! I wish there were more black girls who wanted to meet white men to be honest

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By *i fem huntersCouple
over a year ago

london

Dont be afraid to express your preference.......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's your preference OP so no one as the right to question it or abuse you.

If they don't like it fuck them!

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By *ocoaXXXMan
over a year ago

Coventry

At the end of the day, its your choice in what you are after, if they dont understand that then the people who moan about it arent worthy of your time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Difficult one this one... I think it's fine that people state what race they would like but I personally think it's a little strange. Like at what point did you decide you only go with a certain race? Is there something in your subconscious that puts you off a certain colour? what triggered that? Is it racism without the hate? Can you actually explain your taste, or what you don't like without sounding racist?

Psychology aside though, i would never hurl abuse at someone for stating who they are attracted to. I do generally avoid those that state they only want a specific race (even if black) because i can't understand their thinking. I've discussed that point of view with a few people and never felt like I'm getting an honest answer. They usually just say "I like what I like" without exploring the reason why

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By *onnie And Clyde9070Couple
over a year ago

Leeds

Totally unnecessary. Everyone has the right to make their own choices and have their own preferences.

Does the abuse happen to come from males who didn't get what they want from you? That does happen occasionally when they are rejected.

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By *egasus NobMan
over a year ago

Wandsworth

"When you see a black or Asian woman on here who states she only plays with white men (or men of a different race to herself) do you consider her a sellout or a coconut?

The amount of abuse I receive on here because I choose to only meet white men is awful, when I'm simply minding my own business.

Surely it's easier to just pass me by?

(Obviously anyone can put in their 2 cents but I'm really interested in men of those races opinion)"

I block or move on

block due to temptation to mail if she's hot same goes for women or couple who state they don't meet black men block or move on.

keep doing what is working for YOU. I'd imagine regardless of race or not you will still get hateful mail as a woman. Simple don't acknowledge the good and bad mail only the selected few you are interested in.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Difficult one this one... I think it's fine that people state what race they would like but I personally think it's a little strange. Like at what point did you decide you only go with a certain race? Is there something in your subconscious that puts you off a certain colour? what triggered that? Is it racism without the hate? Can you actually explain your taste, or what you don't like without sounding racist?

I appreciate your honesty in this post.

I personally find black and asian men judgemental when it comes to a woman liking sex/being promiscuous (not all mind, just from my previous experience)

I date black and asian in real life so it's not that I don't find them attractive I just want to be able to sleep with who I want without having to worry about being judged about it.

Even on here I've had black message me asking why I've been verified by so many people in such a small space of time when I never ever get that off white men.

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

I guess this ties in with why you don't see many black couples who full swap with white couples.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Totally unnecessary. Everyone has the right to make their own choices and have their own preferences.

Does the abuse happen to come from males who didn't get what they want from you? That does happen occasionally when they are rejected."

I clearly state on my profile I only want to meet white men so generally if a black or Asian guy messages me I delete the message.

It's usually after I've deleted the message when they actually read my profile and then they send me some kind of stupid message

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By *evaquitCouple
over a year ago

Catthorpe

"When you see a black or Asian woman on here who states she only plays with white men (or men of a different race to herself) do you consider her a sellout or a coconut?

The amount of abuse I receive on here because I choose to only meet white men is awful, when I'm simply minding my own business.

The abuse you've received firstly is disgusting!

I (he) have had those stupid comments directed at me too mainly from black girls in the vanilla world, go figure, pretty sure we're different sides of the same coin, eh!

Not a sell out in my eyes, that's such a nonedensical notion in itself, couldn't care less about race and I really do mean that. Irony is on fab we've met in the main black and Asian guys and we've hardly had any abuse apart from two black guys who've said 'they don't understand how I can let my 'white lady' (derogatory and ignoring the fact it's our choice) be with other black guys. Now try and work that one out.

Ignore the haters, they will always find a reason to hate. Happy fabbing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I appreciate your honesty in this post.

I personally find black and asian men judgemental when it comes to a woman liking sex/being promiscuous (not all mind, just from my previous experience)

I date black and asian in real life so it's not that I don't find them attractive I just want to be able to sleep with who I want without having to worry about being judged about it.

Even on here I've had black message me asking why I've been verified by so many people in such a small space of time when I never ever get that off white men."

Ahh right. Well fuck those guys (not literally). But them being like that could be cultural. Especially if they have been exposed to religion or have grown up with little respect for women.

I try to never judge a whole race, religion or culture by the actions of a few idiots. Otherwise I'd hate everyone right? Why I try to be as open and approachable on here as possible.

Saying that, there are plenty of people on here that just can't handle rejection and us men get a lot of that! I'm no oil painting but this place does nothing for your ego! so maybe they're just lashing out at the first thing they don't like about your profile

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By *ud and BryanCouple
over a year ago

Boston, Lincolnshire

We get very annoyed at people who cry racist when we say we only fancy white people - it's just a sexual preference and we're no more racist than straight men who don't fancy other men are homophobic!

Fact is we don't choose who we're attracted to, so why do people judge us for It?

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By *wingsingMan
over a year ago

Berkshire/London

I appreciate your honesty in this post.

I personally find black and asian men judgemental when it comes to a woman liking sex/being promiscuous (not all mind, just from my previous experience)

I date black and asian in real life so it's not that I don't find them attractive I just want to be able to sleep with who I want without having to worry about being judged about it.

Even on here I've had black message me asking why I've been verified by so many people in such a small space of time when I never ever get that off white men."

I have no issues in people stating a preference. This site to me is about meeting open minded, non judgmental folk.

Purely from a curiosity view point I'm glad to see your honesty in saying why you have that preference... So thank you for that.

As an Asian guy, it has intrigued me why people have an issue with Asian people. It's often for the reason you state. Unfortunately for some of us we are all viewed as being the same.

There is absolutely no reason to abuse anyone. Best to ignore, block and report.

Happy swinging x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We get very annoyed at people who cry racist when we say we only fancy white people - it's just a sexual preference and we're no more racist than straight men who don't fancy other men are homophobic!

Fact is we don't choose who we're attracted to, so why do people judge us for It?"

Not a good comparison: your sexuality and taste are completely different. For someone to be gay they have to completely change the sex of the person and the act itself. Where as the latter you are just changing the colour of the person.

Whether you are conscious of it or not, by stating that you will 'only' go with people of a certain race you are admitting that you only find certain tones, cultures or ethnicities attractive. Are we all really that different? To me sexy is sexy! Don't you guys find it troubling That you think that way? Don't you want to explore the reasons behind this? Me I do over my opinions every day in an attempt to better myself.

People will judge you because when you state you don't like a certain race, you are saying no matter how good looking, charming or charismatic a person is, you are unwilling to give them a chance because of the colour of their skin. Like you wouldn't turn down a Porsche for a reliant robin because of the colour would you? poor analogy I know

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You are who you are OP and you like the type of guys you like. As has been said previously it’s your life and it’s your choice about who you meet.

It staggers me that in this day and age race is still an issue. Especially on this site.

Your not a “sellout” or a “coconut” for meeting white men like the black/Asian men are not sellouts for meeting white women. Everyone has a choice at the end of the day.

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By *HaRiFMan
over a year ago

Beyond the shadows.

"When you see a black or Asian woman on here who states she only plays with white men (or men of a different race to herself) do you consider her a sellout or a coconut?

The amount of abuse I receive on here because I choose to only meet white men is awful, when I'm simply minding my own business.

Surely it's easier to just pass me by?

(Obviously anyone can put in their 2 cents but I'm really interested in men of those races opinion)"

Personally I don't really give it a second thought. Your business is your business and absolutely nothing to do with me. I don't really understand why some people get hung up about a total strangers preferences and not just pass on on by as you say.

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By *lorious hole bs16Man
over a year ago

Bristol

"Totally unnecessary. Everyone has the right to make their own choices and have their own preferences.

Does the abuse happen to come from males who didn't get what they want from you? That does happen occasionally when they are rejected."

I have to say I have met women who behave badly when rejected too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No qualms! Just do you! Everyones got their preferences and should be respected

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By *lorious hole bs16Man
over a year ago

Bristol

As your profile is hidden it's difficult to comment..

I wondered if you had No black or Asian men on the profile or simply white men only??

No one should have such abuse but I wondered if it's necessary to make our preferences that way??

When approached by a non preferred guy/woman simply say not my type sorry..

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"As your profile is hidden it's difficult to comment..

I wondered if you had No black or Asian men on the profile or simply white men only??

No one should have such abuse but I wondered if it's necessary to make our preferences that way??

When approached by a non preferred guy/woman simply say not my type sorry..

I say both because when I only say one or the other it seems to be open to interpretation.

And I have it on there with the hopes that it will cut down the amount of messages I receive from guys I am never ever going to meet.

So for the most part black and Asian men don't message me, but occasionally I get one or two who do and as a result I get abuse for it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dont let the haters beat you xxx

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By *rown cock 112Man
over a year ago

harrow

[Removed by poster at 03/01/18 14:31:36]

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By *rown cock 112Man
over a year ago

harrow

I really dont see the problem u like what u like end of

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bit of a sell out but, hey, it's your preference. Everyone's entitled to them.

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By *ilk_TreMan
over a year ago

Wherever the party is!

"When you see a black or Asian woman on here who states she only plays with white men (or men of a different race to herself) do you consider her a sellout or a coconut?

The amount of abuse I receive on here because I choose to only meet white men is awful, when I'm simply minding my own business.

Surely it's easier to just pass me by?

(Obviously anyone can put in their 2 cents but I'm really interested in men of those races opinion)"

I just simply block and move on. Plenty of other women out there for me to concentrate on.

Ask me a more difficult question next time! X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Having read the whole thread, you say you date black and asian men in the real world, just don't want to meet them on fab because of their judgement? Nothing like tarring whole races because of the views of a few

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By *ilk_TreMan
over a year ago

Wherever the party is!

I appreciate your honesty in this post.

I personally find black and asian men judgemental when it comes to a woman liking sex/being promiscuous (not all mind, just from my previous experience)

I date black and asian in real life so it's not that I don't find them attractive I just want to be able to sleep with who I want without having to worry about being judged about it.

Even on here I've had black message me asking why I've been verified by so many people in such a small space of time when I never ever get that off white men."

Hmm...tempted to unblock now...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Bit of a sell out but, hey, it's your preference. Everyone's entitled to them."

Don't see how that makes me a sell out.

Would you care to explain?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Having read the whole thread, you say you date black and asian men in the real world, just don't want to meet them on fab because of their judgement? Nothing like tarring whole races because of the views of a few

But it's not just a few though, it's a large majority of men I've come into contact.

Yes I probably shouldn't say I don't want to meet black/Asian men because they're not all the same (which I've never said btw) but even while not meeting them on here I have to deal with judgement

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

And furthermore you point doesn't actually explain why I receive so much abuse on here for simply choosing who I will and won't meet

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By *lkDomWhtSubBiCpleCouple
over a year ago

Somewhere / Everywhere /Kinksville

I never heard the word coconut before

sir just explained it to me.

And he said they should leave you alone to get on and meet and do what you choose

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I never heard the word coconut before

sir just explained it to me.

And he said they should leave you alone to get on and meet and do what you choose

Lols yeah it's quite a common term, although never been called on until I joined fab ha!

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

OP, nobody should get abusive or rude messages for any reason.

Skin colour, race etc isn't an issue to us, but we wouldn't choose to meet anyone who openly plays bareback. Though we wouldn't be abusive to those people.

Just continue to do what works for you, with those who you are attracted to.

Don't let the nastiness get to you.

Nita

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow

Here we go.

I am a white hetro male.

My preferences are I prefer white women but I have fancied and played with mixed race women, and fancied Asian women (my ex was 1/2 Chinese, and another ex was half polish/Ghanaian)

For example there was a hot mixed race girl in amours a few weeks ago. Yes I noticed she was mixed race but only after I noticed that she was attractive

My sexual preferences on women don’t matter, but couples I would prefer if the male is straight, however I have played with couples when male is bi but he played straight. For me this is a fixed preference

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By *lackbird1000Woman
over a year ago

Birmingham

Your profile , your life ! Your choice , you do not need to justify , your choices to people . But I totally agree did you , why should you be abused ? Out of order! Once in xtasia a black guy asked if I had a boyfriend , I said yes ! He said I bet he is white because a black man would not allow you to be here! I was taken back ! You know what gorgeous don't let that get in to you! Xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When you see a black or Asian woman on here who states she only plays with white men (or men of a different race to herself) do you consider her a sellout or a coconut?

The amount of abuse I receive on here because I choose to only meet white men is awful, when I'm simply minding my own business.

Surely it's easier to just pass me by?

(Obviously anyone can put in their 2 cents but I'm really interested in men of those races opinion)"

It’s down to personal choice babe xx just report and block if u are receiving abuse xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Your profile , your life ! Your choice , you do not need to justify , your choices to people . But I totally agree did you , why should you be abused ? Out of order! Once in xtasia a black guy asked if I had a boyfriend , I said yes ! He said I bet he is white because a black man would not allow you to be here! I was taken back ! You know what gorgeous don't let that get in to you! Xxx"

This is exactly what I mean!!!

Don't get me wrong I'm fully aware that not all black men are the same but unfortunately there are a large majority who have this mentality, I'm here for fun so why should I have to put up with stuff like this?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Bit of a sell out but, hey, it's your preference. Everyone's entitled to them.

Don't see how that makes me a sell out.

Would you care to explain?"

In your first post you say words to the effect of 'does that make me a sellout or a coconut'. I'm just agreeing that it does make you come across as being a sellout, that's all

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Bit of a sell out but, hey, it's your preference. Everyone's entitled to them.

Don't see how that makes me a sell out.

Would you care to explain?

In your first post you say words to the effect of 'does that make me a sellout or a coconut'. I'm just agreeing that it does make you come across as being a sellout, that's all

Ok and I was asking if you cared to explain as I genuinely don't see how it does

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I wouldn't dream of calling a black man who sleeps with white women a sell out because it literally has no effect on me, so why am I going to out of my way to call him names?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Whenever I see anyone (of any ethnicity) stating that they only like a certain ethnicity (again any ethnicity), I find it weird and a bit offensive.

People use the defence “it’s my preference” but to instantly disregard millions of people due to assumptions based on skin colour is a bit more deep rooted than preference. It shows closed mindedness and bias.

When people feel the need to openly state “white only” “black only” “no Asians” etc. as a warning it’s really quite rude and wreaks of superiority complex.

Then again I’m mixed so I don’t really identify with any races.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OK, am I allowed to say it disappoints me when I read that someone restricts a race, particularly when it's their own race. Would that be a more acceptable response?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Whenever I see anyone (of any ethnicity) stating that they only like a certain ethnicity (again any ethnicity), I find it weird and a bit offensive.

When people feel the need to openly state “white only” “black only” “no Asians” etc. as a warning it’s really quite rude and wreaks of superiority complex.

Then again I’m mixed so I don’t really identify with any races."

And I appreiciate that but can I ask why you find if offensive?

Not sure what mix you are but surely if you were white and black mix (hypothetically of course) why would "no Asians" offend you?

And my choice isn't based on assumptions, it's based on real life lived experience

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

OK, am I allowed to say it disappoints me when I read that someone restricts a race, particularly when it's their own race. Would that be a more acceptable response? "

Yes you are because I'm asking you for your opinion regardless of whether I'm going to be offended or not.

I'm genuinely interested how you have come to that conclusion

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Think I've just answered that...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Think I've just answered that... "

And I appreiciate you honesty

But all these things aside, do you think that justifies men sending me abuse about it? Which is ultimately proving the point which I made early about judging?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And I appreiciate that but can I ask why you find if offensive?

Not sure what mix you are but surely if you were white and black mix (hypothetically of course) why would "no Asians" offend you?

And my choice isn't based on assumptions, it's based on real life lived experience "

Have you had real life experience with every non-white guy on the planet?

Yes I’m black/white mix. Empathy is what allows me to feel things on another persons behalf.

Over time I’ve been mistaken for everything - Brazilian, Spanish, Moroccan, Pakistani, Black, White, Italian, Lebanese... and it astonishes me how differently I’ll be treated depending on where people think I’m from.

There have even been occasions on here when people have found me attractive and wanted to meet - but have felt the need to “double check” that I’m not Asian or Muslim. That’s super racist imo. It proved to me it was less about appearance and more about what people think about certain “races”

Quite the eye opener. So, I’ve often found that these preferences are often indicators of more deep rooted issues.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Literally??lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Think I've just answered that...

And I appreiciate you honesty

But all these things aside, do you think that justifies men sending me abuse about it? Which is ultimately proving the point which I made early about judging?"

I absolutely do not approve of the abuse that you receive. It's sad to hear that and I hope that you report the offenders.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

And I appreiciate that but can I ask why you find if offensive?

Not sure what mix you are but surely if you were white and black mix (hypothetically of course) why would "no Asians" offend you?

And my choice isn't based on assumptions, it's based on real life lived experience

Have you had real life experience with every non-white guy on the planet?

Yes I’m black/white mix. Empathy is what allows me to feel things on another persons behalf.

Quite the eye opener. So, I’ve often found that these preferences are often indicators of more deep rooted issues."

I never said if had experiences with every black/Asian man on the planet, I said a large majority if the men I've come into contact with have had this mentality.

I myself have been confused for other races albeit a shorter list than you, mixed, African, Jamaican Indian and I can agree that you do get treated differently based on what people think you are.

But should I just have sex with anyone who asks regardless of my preference just because I dont want offend any body?

And should I just be ok with getting abuse about it ?

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By *otSoNewWalesCoupleCouple
over a year ago

South Wales

The golden rule of Fab is 'if your preferences exclude me I'm gonna throw my toys out the pram and either get abusive or slag you off for your preferences.'

Just ignore the arseholes. Block is your friend.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I'd have a nice amount of money if I had a pound for every time I saw "white playmates only" or something to that affect on a profile (black/white/male/female)

And it doesn't bother me because people have the right to pick and choose who they have sex with.

I don't then send them messages being abusive and calling them names lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well nah the abuse isn’t good at all. And you definitelty shouldn’t have sex with those who you don’t want to.

However you (when I say “you” I mean all of us) shouldn’t discount people based solely on their race.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think if they talk to you like that they are racist bigots.

We have met with white people ususlly (more by coincidence than choice)

We’ve never been contacted by black people.

One time at Quest we opened the door and two Asian (Pakistani) lads joined in, did there skin colour make a difference nope, not one little bit.

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By *onnie And Clyde9070Couple
over a year ago

Leeds

"The golden rule of Fab is 'if your preferences exclude me I'm gonna throw my toys out the pram and either get abusive or slag you off for your preferences.'

Just ignore the arseholes. Block is your friend."

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"When you see a black or Asian woman on here who states she only plays with white men (or men of a different race to herself) do you consider her a sellout or a coconut?

The amount of abuse I receive on here because I choose to only meet white men is awful, when I'm simply minding my own business.

Surely it's easier to just pass me by?

(Obviously anyone can put in their 2 cents but I'm really interested in men of those races opinion)"

I have absolutely seen those attitudes on here.... normally by those who like to play both sides of the race card.....

I think it is very much a case of "well i am entitled to my preferences, but how dare your preference impinge on me!"

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"The golden rule of Fab is 'if your preferences exclude me I'm gonna throw my toys out the pram and either get abusive or slag you off for your preferences.'

Just ignore the arseholes. Block is your friend."

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By *ornographic ArtsCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow

"When you see a black or Asian woman on here who states she only plays with white men (or men of a different race to herself) do you consider her a sellout or a coconut?

The amount of abuse I receive on here because I choose to only meet white men is awful, when I'm simply minding my own business.

Surely it's easier to just pass me by?

(Obviously anyone can put in their 2 cents but I'm really interested in men of those races opinion)"

I've not experienced this on FAB so much but I don't advertise my ethnicity on here probably because I know it happens. Usually when we're out together in a regular night club and if there's a group of guys from where I'm from they can tell and 4 put of 5 times we'll get comments for being a mixed race couple.

This one time was pretty scary as some of the guys tried to block my BF from getting to me and two of them kept trying to talk to me. On the dance floor they kept following us and then as we have up left they came out too and tried to start a fight as we got in a taxi. Kept making comments along the lines that I shouldn't be with a white guy and they knew how to do their own girls better.

Fact is I don't usually like men my own race because they always remind me of my brothers!

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By *onnie And Clyde9070Couple
over a year ago

Leeds

OK, am I allowed to say it disappoints me when I read that someone restricts a race, particularly when it's their own race. Would that be a more acceptable response? "

Your freedom of choice permits you to write and post whatever you wish. Just as it is an individual's freedom of choice regarding who they meet.

There doesn't have to be any racism about it. It's personal choice, and sadly it seems that a person's right to make a personal choice is being eroded by others. People who have no part in it and no right to dictate what others can or cannot do. Must and must not do just in case someone somewhere is offended. Especially if the offence is caused by someone not being able to get their end away with someone, because that someone absolutely must be racist due to having made a personal choice over what happens with their body.

Pathetic really.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t have any preferences myself, but it doesn’t bother me one bit either on here or in life in general. As you say, just keep it moving.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It annoys me when people who have never experienced racism try and comment on it.

There’s a reason why she aimed this question at certain people.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"When you see a black or Asian woman on here who states she only plays with white men (or men of a different race to herself) do you consider her a sellout or a coconut?

The amount of abuse I receive on here because I choose to only meet white men is awful, when I'm simply minding my own business.

Surely it's easier to just pass me by?

(Obviously anyone can put in their 2 cents but I'm really interested in men of those races opinion)

Fact is I don't usually like men my own race because they always remind me of my brothers!"

I used to date a Pakistani guy and the amount of grief we used to get from both Asian and black men was unreal.

We went out to eat once and there were a group of black guy there at the next table who spent the night calling me a p*ki lover & curry muncher

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By *lkDomWhtSubBiCpleCouple
over a year ago

Somewhere / Everywhere /Kinksville

"It annoys me when people who have never experienced racism try and comment on it.

There’s a reason why she aimed this question at certain people."

That’s racist

Sorry couldn’t resist just joshing

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It annoys me when people who have never experienced racism try and comment on it.

There’s a reason why she aimed this question at certain people."

I aimed the question at the group of people giving me grief so please don't try and make out like I have a hidden agenda

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It annoys me when people who have never experienced racism try and comment on it.

There’s a reason why she aimed this question at certain people.

I aimed the question at the group of people giving me grief so please don't try and make out like I have a hidden agenda "

What ever floats your boats if it’s a white man so be it

People don’t rejection easily it just human nature but they should not be nasty about it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I often read these kind of threads and the observation I usually pick up on is, preference is ok but if I'm not your preference then youre a bigot.

As there's no function to filter people by race many people do it by text only to get called all sorts for stating it. Simple thing to do is chalk it up as a "oh well" and move on.

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By *ungBlackTopMan
over a year ago

salford

I wouldn't say it was about being a sell out or coconut at all. We all have preferences and likes. I personally don't like people who are too promiscuous. For me it is the biggest turn off for me on this site and in real life and that's why I don't meet a lot of people be them black, white, Asian, pink, green, purple, orange. I would never call them slags/sluts/man whores etc as it's absolutely no consequence to my life. If I read someone's profile and it turns me off due to their sexual activity I just block and move on simple.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When you see a black or Asian woman on here who states she only plays with white men (or men of a different race to herself) do you consider her a sellout or a coconut?

The amount of abuse I receive on here because I choose to only meet white men is awful, when I'm simply minding my own business.

Surely it's easier to just pass me by?

(Obviously anyone can put in their 2 cents but I'm really interested in men of those races opinion)"

It is unfortunate your circumstance but sadly that is the true state of affairs with people not being able to restrain from themselves from sentimental emotions.

As others have aluded to already "white women" who date or openly profess their like for "black men" get the same abuse from other white men on here. I am not saying in any way that is right but just drawing comparisons that it is same on both sides.

It is a psychological immaturity! You are allowed in anyway shape or form to choose whatever colour you want to lay with sexually. It is a matter of preference and I'm sure those who give you abuse have preference too.

Hope one day people will rise above "colour" but obviously that's another world.

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By *isobedient-Bi-BoudoirCouple
over a year ago

Central london

When we started on fab we use to say we will only meet Asians or black couples. And all that crap

When we started to visit clubs and parties we found out this was so wrong we got to meet and play with people from all races and faiths

It’s so much better less stress and lots more fun to put the politics to the side unite. And share the love and respect every ones values.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When we started on fab we use to say we will only meet Asians or black couples. And all that crap

When we started to visit clubs and parties we found out this was so wrong we got to meet and play with people from all races and faiths

It’s so much better less stress and lots more fun to put the politics to the side unite. And share the love and respect every ones values.

This

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By *eneral_NoStringsMan
over a year ago

Northampton

Everyone's here for their own reasons so no not really. You could be here to try fantasys/fetishes that involve white men.

The way I see it. Being upset or taking things peraonally takes up a lot of energy... Someone who isn't into you is not worth your energy in the slightest.

It's an ego thing when people can't handle not being desired/wanted.

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By *riskynriskyCouple
over a year ago

Essex.

Unfortunately, there are a few people on here that become abusive once they realise they don't meet your requirements.

Block/report and move on.

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By *hekaiserMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

"When you see a black or Asian woman on here who states she only plays with white men (or men of a different race to herself) do you consider her a sellout or a coconut?

The amount of abuse I receive on here because I choose to only meet white men is awful, when I'm simply minding my own business.

Surely it's easier to just pass me by?

(Obviously anyone can put in their 2 cents but I'm really interested in men of those races opinion)"

Hi you...im an asisn guy and do not think you are a sellout. Its just morons who are upset you wont fuck em....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So discusting that people see sleeping with a white person as selling out... still a white person's world in the west when even black people are saying that!

Having experienced racism quite a lot myself, I sympathise with anyone that gets abuse for their skin colour or their partners. Now whenever I get that shit I don't get mad, I just ask questions. In this case: why is that selling out? Don't you like the colour brown? Did you once have a bad jerked chicken and that's why you hate me? I always find it's the best approach because there's nothing that can justify any form racism. And even if they don't realise it or won't admit it, deep down they know they are being a c**t.

However, I have never had this myself and I've had girlfriends of all different colours and ethnicities. Might have something to do with me being the man in the relationship, oh and I ain't the smallest guy in the world, but, Either way, i would not let bad experiences effect how you feel about any race. Plus, if we're gonna generalise and judge do it with the good not the bad. Define yourself by what you love not what you hate

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This, we fancy good looking people, not skin tone, or race or religion!

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By *ames1763Man
over a year ago

Aberdeen

This is a very good one, I believe everybody has a right to decide their preference.

However, when black girls take this position,I believe there is more to it than meets the eye and only a psychologist can extract what is really happening in my opinion, despite whatever explanation they might give.

I would avoid even engaging these kind of ladies in any conversation . I am ok with their choice but I don't want to have any association with them as a matter of principle.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"This is a very good one, I believe everybody has a right to decide their preference.

I would avoid even engaging these kind of ladies in any conversation . I am ok with their choice but I don't want to have any association with them as a matter of principle.

What about when black men take this position?

Or white women?

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By *hocolate_HeavenMan
over a year ago

Birmingham and Dubai

"When you see a black or Asian woman on here who states she only plays with white men (or men of a different race to herself) do you consider her a sellout or a coconut?

The amount of abuse I receive on here because I choose to only meet white men is awful, when I'm simply minding my own business.

Surely it's easier to just pass me by?

(Obviously anyone can put in their 2 cents but I'm really interested in men of those races opinion)"

Not at all. Those fools are what the block button is for. Pay no attention and carry on Tess. There’s always going to be a troll.

What makes me laugh is I have had every background of man tell me what do I think I am even doing being on this site because of my background. I could fill a bestseller with the abuse I have had over 10 yrs. I am just thick skinned and no ones mug. Here if you ever just want to talk.

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By *lkDomWhtSubBiCpleCouple
over a year ago

Somewhere / Everywhere /Kinksville

"This is a very good one, I believe everybody has a right to decide their preference.

I would avoid even engaging these kind of ladies in any conversation . I am ok with their choice but I don't want to have any association with them as a matter of principle.

Well I suppose we’d think your account had been hacked if you came out with something sensible. Psychologist indeed, oh the irony

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By *ilk_TrayMan
over a year ago

South

Speaking as someone who has had sexual relations with women from different skin tones/faiths etc.. I personally don’t see colour when it comes to what I find attractive.

At the end of the day, who you choose to meet on here is your choice. Does your preference for white men bother me? Not at all.

When I see no Blacks/Asians, I make a private note that I’m not for them and move on.

Not all of us are judgmental and who are should be blocked. No excuse for getting abused for your preference.

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By *ivilizedkinkCouple
over a year ago

harrow

"When you see a black or Asian woman on here who states she only plays with white men (or men of a different race to herself) do you consider her a sellout or a coconut?

The amount of abuse I receive on here because I choose to only meet white men is awful, when I'm simply minding my own business.

Surely it's easier to just pass me by?

(Obviously anyone can put in their 2 cents but I'm really interested in men of those races opinion)"

Yep I get this a lot im just not physically attracted to asian men its just my physical sexual preference. My husband is white and we do get a lot of abuse from Asian men , im a traitor to my race,my culture (I come from a Muslim background but rejected it because of the cultural attitudes towards women ) it always starts out polite but on rejection the abuse starts "Your a white man's whore" ."I would beat you if you were my wife You whore" are but a few of the insults . This only reinforces my sexual preference. So screw them and move on i say.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People's preferences are their own. Nobody else's business.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People's preferences are their own. Nobody else's business. Men who message you as you describe are worthless cowards. Don't let them bother you, report and block.

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By *ieutenantMan
over a year ago

london

Some bigoted racist hide under banner of preference and choice. I strongly believe everyone have the right to choose any person they like to meet. Difficult to figure out the genuine one from the haters.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This is a very good one, I believe everybody has a right to decide their preference.

I would avoid even engaging these kind of ladies in any conversation . I am ok with their choice but I don't want to have any association with them as a matter of principle.

What about when black men take this position?

Or white women? "

As I said in my previous post these preferences tend to only offend those who are excluded, i.e. a white lady wants only black me tend to get abuse from white guys.

Another example was the queen of spades thread a while back, while I thought the term spade was a nasty derogatory term, but seemed to be accepted as it doesn't exclude.

I think that makes sense.

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By *ing82Queen83Couple
over a year ago

Droitwich

"It annoys me when people who have never experienced racism try and comment on it.

There’s a reason why she aimed this question at certain people."

And how do you know they’ve not experienced racism? because they are not of colour? Im a “white” guy and Iv absolutely experienced racism.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This may come across as a statement of the obvious, so I apologise in advance.

Abuse from Fab members is often associated with rejection and the entitlement culture that is prevalent across a lot of the male membership.

You often see threads where women state they get abusive messages from men following a rejection. The males in question go out of their way to find something in the ladies profile to pick at, something to try and get under your skin, atempting to make you feel bad about yourself and themselves feel better about being not good enough for you.

It speaks volumes about them more than about you.

We all have our preferences. This is a fantasy world that is supposed to be open for all to escape from the mumdane life. However, it is human nature to judge.

The fact you are a sexually liberated woman that exercises freedom of choice, threatens many a male ego. The way you select your playmates is your business, no-one elses. The fact that certain members expect you to conform to their wishes is their issue that they need to address.

Play the Fab game how you want to play it.

To give you a different perspective:

My profile is quite clear that I embrace all women based on personality. I do not actively advertise or seek women of different ethnicities because I don't want to insult anyone. If I say I would love to meet asian or black women (which I would), I am worried that it would come across as me wanting to experiment or trying something for novelty value.

Nothing is further from the truth. However, how I run my profile is my business. How you run yours is your business.

I admire your courage to say exactly what you want. I don't think you have sold out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This may come across as a statement of the obvious, so I apologise in advance.

Abuse from Fab members is often associated with rejection and the entitlement culture that is prevalent across a lot of the male membership.

It speaks volumes about them more than about you.

We all have our preferences. This is a fantasy world that is supposed to be open for all to escape from the mumdane life. However, it is human nature to judge.

The fact you are a sexually liberated woman that exercises freedom of choice, threatens many a male ego.The way you select your playmates is your business, no-one elses. The fact that certain members expect you to conform to their wishes is their issue that they need to address.

Play the Fab game how you want to play it.

To give you a different perspective:

Nothing is further from the truth. However, how I run my profile is my business. How you run yours is your business.

I admire your courage to say exactly what you want. I don't think you have sold out."

I agree with this. Only problem is how you run your profile is always going to be judged. If I was a nazi and had loads of antisemetic things on my profile, I would expect some backlash. Think this is where some people get enjoyment! Like conflict junkies!

We are all entitled to our opinion but when expressing something that generalises, people are always gonna get offended. No one wants to be lumped in a category with arse holes. Or be told that something that they are, others find ugly.

Also culture and religion comes into it: is it your fault if you grew up in a culture or with a religion that doesn't treat women as equals? Can we blame these people if it's all they know? Think we can only look down on another culture if ours was better. Again, not sticking up for these people just trying to look at the bigger picture

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By *anrteeCouple
over a year ago

London

"Some bigoted racist hide under banner of preference and choice. I strongly believe everyone have the right to choose any person they like to meet. Difficult to figure out the genuine one from the haters."

Yes it is difficult but sometimes you do get an indication; for example when such individuals message you wanting to meet; then you look at their profile and see you are on their list of ethnic no no's. Unless they suffer from some form of visual impairment, what the hell happened to their "preferences" or "choice"???

To Tattoedtess :

Does it make you a sell out or coconut? No definitely not nor does it make you racist.

A question for you - Do you think that by having those exclusions you are, as a consequence, less likely to interact with men from those particular backgrounds who do not hold those views thereby reinforcing your assumptions of men of those backgrounds?

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By *inaryGuyMan
over a year ago

Near the River

"When you see a black or Asian woman on here who states she only plays with white men (or men of a different race to herself) do you consider her a sellout or a coconut?

The amount of abuse I receive on here because I choose to only meet white men is awful, when I'm simply minding my own business.

Surely it's easier to just pass me by?

(Obviously anyone can put in their 2 cents but I'm really interested in men of those races opinion)"

It's your preference and it should be respected. It is no different to eg women wanting only BBCs or whatever. If people are giving you abuse then you should report them.

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By *D835Man
over a year ago

London

"This may come across as a statement of the obvious, so I apologise in advance.

Abuse from Fab members is often associated with rejection and the entitlement culture that is prevalent across a lot of the male membership.

It speaks volumes about them more than about you.

We all have our preferences. This is a fantasy world that is supposed to be open for all to escape from the mumdane life. However, it is human nature to judge.

The fact you are a sexually liberated woman that exercises freedom of choice, threatens many a male ego.The way you select your playmates is your business, no-one elses. The fact that certain members expect you to conform to their wishes is their issue that they need to address.

Play the Fab game how you want to play it.

To give you a different perspective:

Nothing is further from the truth. However, how I run my profile is my business. How you run yours is your business.

I admire your courage to say exactly what you want. I don't think you have sold out.

True

That's my approach too, I look at the bigger picture on these issues.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The bigger picture is that people still discriminate and think it’s “preference”

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When you see a black or Asian woman on here who states she only plays with white men (or men of a different race to herself) do you consider her a sellout or a coconut?

The amount of abuse I receive on here because I choose to only meet white men is awful, when I'm simply minding my own business.

Surely it's easier to just pass me by?

(Obviously anyone can put in their 2 cents but I'm really interested in men of those races opinion)"

Each to their own and all that but I’m guessing its not the colour of the skin that you are not attracted to it’s all that you associate with it and that is where I get offended when someone says no asian or black men. I can understand why but My first thought is please do not generalise, stereotype or associate me with anyone or anything that you think I may or may not be. My second thought is...your loss

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

"It's your preference OP so no one as the right to question it or abuse you.

If they don't like it fuck them! "

I think 'Don't fuck them' sounds better

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It annoys me when people who have never experienced racism try and comment on it.

There’s a reason why she aimed this question at certain people.

And how do you know they’ve not experienced racism? because they are not of colour? Im a “white” guy and Iv absolutely experienced racism. "

You definitely haven’t experienced racism.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m half Indian. As far as I am concerned, we all like different things and preferences should be respected - no one has the right to criticise or send abuse because you like a certain race / type of guy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The bigger picture is that people still discriminate and think it’s “preference”"

No. No it's not. The bigger picture is looking at why people discriminate or have a preference. They are two completely different things! If I state my preference, it doesn't mean that I'm discriminating against other races.

I have experienced racism more when going to rural pubs or places like that in the countryside. It doesn't mean that I think everyone that lives in the sticks is a racist, just that I would prefer not to go to these places because I've been racially abused in locations like that. Or if I do go, my guard is always up so I find it hard to enjoy myself.

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By *lackbird1000Woman
over a year ago

Birmingham

"This is a very good one, I believe everybody has a right to decide their preference.

I would avoid even engaging these kind of ladies in any conversation . I am ok with their choice but I don't want to have any association with them as a matter of principle.

"
is the most ridiculous comment I read in the whole forum up to this date ! I read many white ladies profiles stating BBC only, or not Asian . My colleague at work only had Asian partners and he is white.What and why makes it different ,when a black girl says it? Nobody wants no association with someone who speaks a lot of rubbish! My profile , my pussy I fuck who I fancy surely! If I am not attracted to a certain race , I won't fuck them just to please you guys , who think is racism!A white guy yesterday told me, he only goes out with black girls or mixed raced .Based on certain comments , he needs a mental heath evaluation ? Seriously I heard it all!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"The bigger picture is that people still discriminate and think it’s “preference”

Explained it perfectly

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Certain posts on this thread just reinforcing my point about being judgemental

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By *D835Man
over a year ago

London

"Certain posts on this thread just reinforcing my point about being judgemental

Yes, I see your point. But its also worthwhile to note that sometimes when people make judgements they don't always do so consciously or maliciously.

For example earlier on you said:

"I personally find black and asian men judgemental when it comes to a woman liking...."

and later you say:

"....not all black men are the same but unfortunately there are a large majority who have this mentality..."

I know what you said could be true based on your experience.

But that experience has also caused you to make judgements about Black and Asian men.

And that judgement is partly the reason why on Fabs you made the decision to only meet white men.

I am not saying that your decision is wrong - Not at all.

I'm just pointing out that sometimes judgements can be made subconsciously.

Personal experiences can cause people to make judgements; those judgements can in turn cause people to make certain decisions.

Looking at the "Bigger Picture" helps one understand these thing better.

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By *oul BrothaMan
over a year ago

A Galaxy far far away

It's disappointing that the OP is receiving this level of abuse.

Me personally, respect people's preferences, and would never go out of my way to insult someone over it.

Time is too precious, and you should spread love.

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By *ames1763Man
over a year ago

Aberdeen

Beautiful, I don't engage in abusing anyone so if we are going to have a matured debate please stop the insults.

That said, let me open your eyes to something, you can never find a white woman insulting a white man on the forum, or a white man insulting a white woman or other white men on the forum,it does not matter how they feel about what is posted it will never happen.

However, this is not the case with when it is the reverse, it is what it is and we know what it is lol But when you go out of your way to insult another black perpon publicly and you are black, you are insulting yourself, that is what you don't realise.

I have a lot of experience and I can tell you, 93 percent of the white ladies who say they want BBC only when they are swinging have white husbands or boyfriends, they even come to the parties with their white husbands or boyfriends go and check it lol

Black guys never say the white ladies only, white guys never say black ladies only so what does this dynamics show you.

I don't even want to engage with ladies like this at all because I have encountered them in business and I did not like their modus operandi, my intution tells me there is deeper problem with them so we are happy to ignore and abandon them lol.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Beautiful, I don't engage in abusing anyone so if we are going to have a matured debate please stop the insults.

Black guys never say the white ladies only, white guys never say black ladies only so what does this dynamics show you.

lots of black men say white ladies only and lots of white women say black men only so your incorrect there.

Maybe white women don't come on here and say these things about white men because they don't get abuse for choosing not to sleep with them

And you should remove the "we" out of your last sentence because there are PLENTY of black men in my life looking after me, No abandonment over here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m british born Asian and I wouldn’t consider someone who wants to meet only white/black/yellow guys a sellout. I can never get my head around why people would think that. We’re all on the site for the same thing but many can’t seem to leave their prejudices or own judgements at the door.

I think the reality of it, is the fact that some may be insecure in themselves whereby if they get ‘rejected’ it’s that whole superiority complex playing up. Sometimes it’s a bit too close to home because only those within certain cultures would know how it really feels to be judged. Especially when it comes to sex - it’s still very taboo to talk about openly in many cases.

For me, I’ve never had an issue. It doesn’t bother me. I say ‘good on them’ if they want to go out and explore their sexuality but don’t put others down in the process.

I’ve not spoken to may from my own background on here, maybe only a couple. You can’t always click with everyone. But, I’m someone who believes in opposites attract - my preferences are bizarre

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Certain posts on this thread just reinforcing my point about being judgemental

Yes, I see your point. But its also worthwhile to note that sometimes when people make judgements they don't always do so consciously or maliciously.

For example earlier on you said:

"I personally find black and asian men judgemental when it comes to a woman liking...."

and later you say:

"....not all black men are the same but unfortunately there are a large majority who have this mentality..."

I know what you said could be true based on your experience.

But that experience has also caused you to make judgements about Black and Asian men.

And that judgement is partly the reason why on Fabs you made the decision to only meet white men.

I am not saying that your decision is wrong - Not at all.

I'm just pointing out that sometimes judgements can be made subconsciously.

Personal experiences can cause people to make judgements; those judgements can in turn cause people to make certain decisions.

Looking at the "Bigger Picture" helps one understand these thing better.

I appreiciate this, my judgements aren't subconscious, I'm fully aware of how I feel on the topic.

And as I said I haven't completely written off black or Asian men it's simply this part of me I chose not to share with them simple.

I still have ethnic men very active in my personal life but I'm also very aware of how they speak and think about women who they see as 'promiscuous'. Which is fine, they're entitled to their opinions.

I'm on fab for fun that's it, nothing more nothing less. I don't want to have to deal with the same thing in my fab life as I have to do in real life, other wise whats the point

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve said it numerous times on here in the years that I’ve been on the site about the amount of racism and abuse I’ve faced and even those who I’ve met have faced because they have met me.

I think deep down many still like to stick within their comfort zone and meet individuals they’ll consider ‘normal swingers’ as opposed to someone they’d never thought they’d be attracted to or find on here. Not that I’m saying there’s anything wrong with that but when it starts having negative impact on others, then it’s an issue.

I don’t consider myself your average swinger you’d find on here. My background and my look scares the shit out of people. But, once they get to know me, their insecurities go away and they’re rather pleasantly surprised. People judge very quickly based on my face pictures but those who’ve met me and take the time to know me, know I’m rather different.

End of the day, people judge. That’s human nature but you should never give someone the right to be able to hurl abuse at you or whatever and for them to think that’s fine. You should never let it get to you. Easier said than done, but sometimes you have to grow a thick skin on here and roll with the punches. Or even better yet, stand up for yourself and give one back lol

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By *ames1763Man
over a year ago

Aberdeen

If what you are saying is true and you fuck black guys and choose to swing with white guys only then you don't fall under that category.

Maybe you are shy , in that case I will talk to you, times are changing who cares. Nobody will disrespect you because you swing , we all swing, this is a separate matter.

When you don't want to see black guys or people at all or abuse , insult or disrespect black people publicly on the forum as you can see them doing and you are black male or female, this is the group I don't want anything to do with.

Charity begins at home, when you disrespect your people publicly or try not to be associated with them people know this is a nuisance, they might not tell you but they will be laughing at you in the privacy of their homes and they will employ you if you are looking for a job and sack you when they are tired of you but never do big business with you if you are an entrepreneur.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If what you are saying is true and you fuck black guys and choose to swing with white guys only then you don't fall under that category.

Maybe you are shy , in that case I will talk to you, times are changing who cares. Nobody will disrespect you because you swing , we all swing, this is a separate matter.

Show me where I insulted/abused Or disrespected black men on this thread

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This kind of post is always controversial

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By *ames1763Man
over a year ago

Aberdeen

What am saying is beginning to sink home, no matter how you spin it, that word "white only" hits the subconscious minds of a lot of white people and black people , it don't matter if you are black or white, once you state that word that is the end of our association with you.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What am saying is beginning to sink home, no matter how you spin it, that word "white only" hits the subconscious minds of a lot of white people and black people , it don't matter if you are black or white, once you state that word that is the end of our association with you."

Nothing is sinking home sweetheart because a lot of what you're saying doesn't even make sense.

I've asked you a question clear and simple and you're unable to answer it

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By *D835Man
over a year ago

London

"Certain posts on this thread just reinforcing my point about being judgemental

Yes, I see your point. But its also worthwhile to note that sometimes when people make judgements they don't always do so consciously or maliciously.

For example earlier on you said:

"I personally find black and asian men judgemental when it comes to a woman liking...."

and later you say:

"....not all black men are the same but unfortunately there are a large majority who have this mentality..."

I know what you said could be true based on your experience.

But that experience has also caused you to make judgements about Black and Asian men.

And that judgement is partly the reason why on Fabs you made the decision to only meet white men.

I am not saying that your decision is wrong - Not at all.

I'm just pointing out that sometimes judgements can be made subconsciously.

Personal experiences can cause people to make judgements; those judgements can in turn cause people to make certain decisions.

Looking at the "Bigger Picture" helps one understand these thing better.

I appreiciate this, my judgements aren't subconscious, I'm fully aware of how I feel on the topic.

And as I said I haven't completely written off black or Asian men it's simply this part of me I chose not to share with them simple.

I'm on fab for fun that's it, nothing more nothing less. I don't want to have to deal with the same thing in my fab life as I have to do in real life, other wise whats the point "

Like I said, I was not having a pop at up for the decision you made.

I was just trying to highlight the process which people go through which sometimes leads them to make certain decisions.

Your case is a good example of that.

And that's the reason why when I see people state something on their profile, I refrain from drawing conclusions since I don't fully understand what lead them to make such decisions.