FabSwingers.com mobile

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to Swingers Chat

"Politely decline" button

Jump to newest
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Do you think it would be a good idea to have a button in the message fields that informed the user that you've read their message, but politely states that you weren't what they were looking for. It could also be something you couldn't reply to by removing the reply if someone has hit this and people would have to write a new message to send if they were pushing, which would give you a similar warning as you get if you message someone who hasn't responded.

Not many people like typing out a rejection, and it's clearer than ignoring somone.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Yes, I spotted the typo. Hate typing on mobile.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People would just whinge that they got the autoresponse decline, just like they whinge when their message is deleted with no reply.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

'Why did you press the decline button on me, fat ugly bitch. Didn't wanna meet you anyway'

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally I'd rather receive a boilerplate response. At least I'd know I'd been turned down and not caught in a bulk delete.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is one already.....

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There is one already....."

Yeah, the delete message and block buttons.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eallylove2lickCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

We work on the principle that if someone’s taken the time to write a message then they deserve a reply. That’s assuming it’s a considered message that is, not a ‘How’s U?’ / ‘Wot U up 2?’ type lazy fishing trip.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Block covers that perfectly

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ingerrrrWoman
over a year ago

Meath

Some guys took the time to write one message 4 years ago and are copy/pasting said message since.

I don’t want to waste my time replying to that, usually multiple times, I copy/paste these type messages in to their profile notes so know it’s exactly the same stuff doled out again and again...

So yes, I think the OP’s idea is great.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes it’s a great idea

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iversong321Woman
over a year ago

Preston/Merseyside

Terrible idea. Been suggested many times before.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ertsguy2000Man
over a year ago

hertford

Absolutely cracking idea OP, can’t stand the, ‘I’m too busy to reply’ and the ‘it’s in the site rules, you don’t have to reply if you don’t want too’ crowd,

It’s about good manners and common decency, it only takes a few seconds to send a polite decline, and oddly enough it’s the ‘too busy to reply’ crowd who somehow find the time to crow about how busy they are in the forums time and time again....

I think it says all you need to know about a person if they can’t be arsed to reply to well written thoughtful message, not someone I would wish to know

So yes OP, this would be a welcome compromise for most polite well mannered people.

HG

X

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No thanks

Took me under 2 seconds

Why do people want buttons I wonder

Copy and paste your polite decline message are my thoughts

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We work on the principle that if someone’s taken the time to write a message then they deserve a reply. That’s assuming it’s a considered message that is, not a ‘How’s U?’ / ‘Wot U up 2?’ type lazy fishing trip."

I like that principle! I've never seen sent a "Fancy a fuck" or similar message and always tried to inject a bit of humour or engage conversation by using something I've read on their profile but have so far only ever had one response. I don't even bother sending messages these days as it just got to the point where I thought "why even bother?".

I'm old enough and ugly enough to cope with the "thanks for the message but you're not what I'm looking for" line but women generally delete before they've even read the message.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Absolutely cracking idea OP, can’t stand the, ‘I’m too busy to reply’ and the ‘it’s in the site rules, you don’t have to reply if you don’t want too’ crowd,

It’s about good manners and common decency, it only takes a few seconds to send a polite decline, and oddly enough it’s the ‘too busy to reply’ crowd who somehow find the time to crow about how busy they are in the forums time and time again....

I think it says all you need to know about a person if they can’t be arsed to reply to well written thoughtful message, not someone I would wish to know

So yes OP, this would be a welcome compromise for most polite well mannered people.

HG

X"

Nailed it.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Absolutely cracking idea OP, can’t stand the, ‘I’m too busy to reply’ and the ‘it’s in the site rules, you don’t have to reply if you don’t want too’ crowd,

It’s about good manners and common decency, it only takes a few seconds to send a polite decline, and oddly enough it’s the ‘too busy to reply’ crowd who somehow find the time to crow about how busy they are in the forums time and time again....

I think it says all you need to know about a person if they can’t be arsed to reply to well written thoughtful message, not someone I would wish to know

So yes OP, this would be a welcome compromise for most polite well mannered people.

HG

X"

I've just read your other post, about being outside someone's age bracket

I think it says all you need to know about a person when they display an 'entitled' attitude.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ertsguy2000Man
over a year ago

hertford


"Absolutely cracking idea OP, can’t stand the, ‘I’m too busy to reply’ and the ‘it’s in the site rules, you don’t have to reply if you don’t want too’ crowd,

It’s about good manners and common decency, it only takes a few seconds to send a polite decline, and oddly enough it’s the ‘too busy to reply’ crowd who somehow find the time to crow about how busy they are in the forums time and time again....

I think it says all you need to know about a person if they can’t be arsed to reply to well written thoughtful message, not someone I would wish to know

So yes OP, this would be a welcome compromise for most polite well mannered people.

HG

X

I've just read your other post, about being outside someone's age bracket

I think it says all you need to know about a person when they display an 'entitled' attitude.

"

Sorry, I don’t quite follow? X

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"No thanks

Took me under 2 seconds

Why do people want buttons I wonder

Copy and paste your polite decline message are my thoughts "

Because writing your own response just leads to questions on most occasions, and many people will pick apart your message to try and figure out why you don't like them.

Anybody you send one of these two could still send you a new message, but they can't add to the current thread. When trying to send a new message, it can then warn you this person may not be interested in meeting. It could also push all mail from these people into a different folder, such as "social". Kind of a middle ground between a block and not a block. Happy to talk to, but not what you want to wade through when your actively seeking a meet.

I just think it's far more polite than ignoring someone, and a lot less aggressive than a block. There are plenty of couples we'd chat to in a club that we might not want to play with.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ieman300Man
over a year ago

Best Greggs in Cheshire East

Personally I would never use it. I have plenty of time to deal with my volume of messages. But I could see it's use for someone with a lot to go through. I think the extra bit where it blocks them automatically would be useful to stop subsequent mail coming back afterwards.

Great idea in principal. Still no substitute for the personal touch.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Delete button works wonder

Thank me later

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol


"No thanks

Took me under 2 seconds

Why do people want buttons I wonder

Copy and paste your polite decline message are my thoughts "

I used to do that. But then I realised that doing so meant that when I than activated messsage filters my polite no thanks reply months earlier meant they could still message through them, not remembering that my reply had been no thanks, and I'd have to go through it all over again or have to delete and block. So a tailored no thanks reply that wouldn't deactivate filters would actually be quite a good idea, I think.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" Delete button works wonder

Thank me later "

No, it doesn't. You never know if your message was specifically deleted or caught in a bulk delete.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Absolutely cracking idea OP, can’t stand the, ‘I’m too busy to reply’ and the ‘it’s in the site rules, you don’t have to reply if you don’t want too’ crowd,

It’s about good manners and common decency, it only takes a few seconds to send a polite decline, and oddly enough it’s the ‘too busy to reply’ crowd who somehow find the time to crow about how busy they are in the forums time and time again....

I think it says all you need to know about a person if they can’t be arsed to reply to well written thoughtful message, not someone I would wish to know

So yes OP, this would be a welcome compromise for most polite well mannered people.

HG

X"

It's easy to reply to first messages. I have a 'no thank you' type message on my phone ready to paste into replies. It only takes a second.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

An excellent idea.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *oxesMan
over a year ago

Southend, Essex


"Do you think it would be a good idea to have a button in the message fields that informed the user that you've read their message, but politely states that you weren't what they were looking for. It could also be something you couldn't reply to by removing the reply if someone has hit this and people would have to write a new message to send if they were pushing, which would give you a similar warning as you get if you message someone who hasn't responded.

Not many people like typing out a rejection, and it's clearer than ignoring somone."

Fantastic I like it, because it never tells you from a male pov whether a read message has actually been deleted after being read or it merely been bulk deleted.

It saves you having to Re write the message again when their next online in order to grab their attention and potentially annoying the recipient in the process.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *radleywigginsMan
over a year ago

northwest

How about a 'why not?' button?

It would save me having to type out 2 3 letter words.

When I press this button it would automatically prevent the 'women and couples who receive hundreds of messages a day' receiving messages from anyone else until they'd sent a well thought out personalised response explaining why I'm 'not their type'...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm happy to write a reply to my mail.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *onnie And Clyde9070Couple
over a year ago

Leeds


"'Why did you press the decline button on me, fat ugly bitch. Didn't wanna meet you anyway' "

Maybe the auto decline button could also have an auto block function to remove the chance of receiving abuse.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *raigStarrMan
over a year ago

St. Helens

No, just man up and accept you aren’t someone’s cup of tea

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *oo hotCouple
over a year ago

North West

A couple of years ago we ignored consecutive messages from a guy who had clearly not read our profile and we deleted his messages.

Not long after this, the same guy started a thread just like this complaining that he sent hundreds of messages to different couples and had no responses. He was totally vexed about so many couples and women not even reading his messages before deleting them.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *hetalkingstoveMan
over a year ago

London

Nah, I don't need an auto response, or a 'no thanks'. If I send a message and it's deleted with no reply, so be it. It's hardly the end of the world.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Do you think it would be a good idea to have a button in the message fields that informed the user that you've read their message, but politely states that you weren't what they were looking for. It could also be something you couldn't reply to by removing the reply if someone has hit this and people would have to write a new message to send if they were pushing, which would give you a similar warning as you get if you message someone who hasn't responded.

Not many people like typing out a rejection, and it's clearer than ignoring somone."

great idea and if included an automatic block ideal

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Nah, I don't need an auto response, or a 'no thanks'. If I send a message and it's deleted with no reply, so be it. It's hardly the end of the world.

"

exactly this. Why you think you are owed anything from a complete stranger is beyond me. If they don't want to reply it's not the crime of the century. Way too much angst and frustration shown on here by some regarding this. Chill out, delete all your sent mail as son as you've sent it and forget about it. You'll either get a reply or you won't.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"People would just whinge that they got the autoresponse decline, just like they whinge when their message is deleted with no reply. "

Yep...guess what the number one beef is on sites that do have automatic reject buttons?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"People would just whinge that they got the autoresponse decline, just like they whinge when their message is deleted with no reply.

Yep...guess what the number one beef is on sites that do have automatic reject buttons?"

I wish I hadn't hit that button??

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"People would just whinge that they got the autoresponse decline, just like they whinge when their message is deleted with no reply.

Yep...guess what the number one beef is on sites that do have automatic reject buttons?I wish I hadn't hit that button?? "

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it is kind of a good idea, if like others have said there was an auto block function that went with it.

Literally EVERYONE I have had the decency to respond with a "sorry you're not for me but I hope you find what you're looking for" message will message back asking "why not?" Or giving me abuse, so in the end I have to delete and block anyway.

Probably the reason why so many just auto delete and block, not worth the hassle...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How about a 'why not?' button?

It would save me having to type out 2 3 letter words.

When I press this button it would automatically prevent the 'women and couples who receive hundreds of messages a day' receiving messages from anyone else until they'd sent a well thought out personalised response explaining why I'm 'not their type'..."

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to reply, don't have issues now I run my profile differently. I'd say thanks, not for me but all the best then block. Took less than 30 seconds. No drama, no bullshit, end of.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always reply to first messages. Can't remember the last time I had any abuse. Weird.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In a recent thread, admin have stated clearly this isn't going to happen.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" Delete button works wonder

Thank me later

No, it doesn't. You never know if your message was specifically deleted or caught in a bulk delete."

it doesn't matter...the outcome is the same. Move on...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"People would just whinge that they got the autoresponse decline, just like they whinge when their message is deleted with no reply. "

Too many whingers get a grip man!!!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Absolutely cracking idea OP, can’t stand the, ‘I’m too busy to reply’ and the ‘it’s in the site rules, you don’t have to reply if you don’t want too’ crowd,

It’s about good manners and common decency, it only takes a few seconds to send a polite decline, and oddly enough it’s the ‘too busy to reply’ crowd who somehow find the time to crow about how busy they are in the forums time and time again....

I think it says all you need to know about a person if they can’t be arsed to reply to well written thoughtful message, not someone I would wish to know

So yes OP, this would be a welcome compromise for most polite well mannered people.

HG

X"

Very well said !!!

Totally Agree

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Nah, I don't need an auto response, or a 'no thanks'. If I send a message and it's deleted with no reply, so be it. It's hardly the end of the world.

exactly this. Why you think you are owed anything from a complete stranger is beyond me. If they don't want to reply it's not the crime of the century. Way too much angst and frustration shown on here by some regarding this. Chill out, delete all your sent mail as son as you've sent it and forget about it. You'll either get a reply or you won't."

That’s just rude

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" Delete button works wonder

Thank me later

No, it doesn't. You never know if your message was specifically deleted or caught in a bulk delete.

it doesn't matter...the outcome is the same. Move on..."

Not true. If a message is specifically deleted, I want to know so I can make a note not to bother them again. If it's caught in a bulk dump then there's no barrier to me messaging again. In the absence of information, do I err on the side of caution and permanently rule that person out, or chance my arm again?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Absolutely cracking idea OP, can’t stand the, ‘I’m too busy to reply’ and the ‘it’s in the site rules, you don’t have to reply if you don’t want too’ crowd,

It’s about good manners and common decency, it only takes a few seconds to send a polite decline, and oddly enough it’s the ‘too busy to reply’ crowd who somehow find the time to crow about how busy they are in the forums time and time again....

I think it says all you need to know about a person if they can’t be arsed to reply to well written thoughtful message, not someone I would wish to know

So yes OP, this would be a welcome compromise for most polite well mannered people.

HG

X

Very well said !!!

Totally Agree"

How would you envisage that the ladies that get shedloads of messages, find the time to reply then?

Neglect their work? Children?

Grown up responsibilities?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"I used to reply, don't have issues now I run my profile differently. I'd say thanks, not for me but all the best then block. Took less than 30 seconds. No drama, no bullshit, end of."

I have on my profile I'll not respond to anyone outwith what I'm looking for and I don't.

Everyone who meets my criteria gets a response. In seven years never had a problem.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"Absolutely cracking idea OP, can’t stand the, ‘I’m too busy to reply’ and the ‘it’s in the site rules, you don’t have to reply if you don’t want too’ crowd,

It’s about good manners and common decency, it only takes a few seconds to send a polite decline, and oddly enough it’s the ‘too busy to reply’ crowd who somehow find the time to crow about how busy they are in the forums time and time again....

I think it says all you need to know about a person if they can’t be arsed to reply to well written thoughtful message, not someone I would wish to know

So yes OP, this would be a welcome compromise for most polite well mannered people.

HG

X

Very well said !!!

Totally Agree

How would you envisage that the ladies that get shedloads of messages, find the time to reply then?

Neglect their work? Children?

Grown up responsibilities?

"

When visible my profile is specific on the type of playmate I'm looking for and what I'm offering. There's no ambiguity whatsoever.

I received a message from someone the polar opposite of what I'm looking for, I deleted his message unread.

He then started a thread about rude women who delete well thought out messages unread. I asked if he meant me, and to point out what part of my criteria did he meet.

Same thing with men who start threads along the lines: do women only want bbc/well endowed/gym fit/tall/non asians etc...because they're excluded.

What I find worrying is we're here for "mutual" hedonistic pleasure. We're not providing a cum dump service, we're not here to massage fragile egos, we really don't have to acknowledge anyone we don't want to fuck, yet the amount of angst and entitlement displayed by some men is quite unnerving.

"Well thought out message" usually means I want to fuck you even though I'm not what you want but this message may change your mind...You've deleted it unread?!! Rude cunt!

Queue, whining ranting thread!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Nah, I don't need an auto response, or a 'no thanks'. If I send a message and it's deleted with no reply, so be it. It's hardly the end of the world.

exactly this. Why you think you are owed anything from a complete stranger is beyond me. If they don't want to reply it's not the crime of the century. Way too much angst and frustration shown on here by some regarding this. Chill out, delete all your sent mail as son as you've sent it and forget about it. You'll either get a reply or you won't.

That’s just rude"

What is rude?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It doesn't take long to type...'no thank you' surely

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It doesn't take long to type...'no thank you' surely "

Once, no. A hundred times a day, yes. Not an issue I face, obviously.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *oxesMan
over a year ago

Southend, Essex


"How about a 'why not?' button?

It would save me having to type out 2 3 letter words.

When I press this button it would automatically prevent the 'women and couples who receive hundreds of messages a day' receiving messages from anyone else until they'd sent a well thought out personalised response explaining why I'm 'not their type'..."

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Absolutely cracking idea OP, can’t stand the, ‘I’m too busy to reply’ and the ‘it’s in the site rules, you don’t have to reply if you don’t want too’ crowd,

It’s about good manners and common decency, it only takes a few seconds to send a polite decline, and oddly enough it’s the ‘too busy to reply’ crowd who somehow find the time to crow about how busy they are in the forums time and time again....

I think it says all you need to know about a person if they can’t be arsed to reply to well written thoughtful message, not someone I would wish to know

So yes OP, this would be a welcome compromise for most polite well mannered people.

HG

X

Very well said !!!

Totally Agree

How would you envisage that the ladies that get shedloads of messages, find the time to reply then?

Neglect their work? Children?

Grown up responsibilities?

"

Is that not one of the perils of joining this site

You all know that you going to get a lot of messages

At least be polite

There are ladies that seem to be able to do it

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Absolutely cracking idea OP, can’t stand the, ‘I’m too busy to reply’ and the ‘it’s in the site rules, you don’t have to reply if you don’t want too’ crowd,

It’s about good manners and common decency, it only takes a few seconds to send a polite decline, and oddly enough it’s the ‘too busy to reply’ crowd who somehow find the time to crow about how busy they are in the forums time and time again....

I think it says all you need to know about a person if they can’t be arsed to reply to well written thoughtful message, not someone I would wish to know

So yes OP, this would be a welcome compromise for most polite well mannered people.

HG

X

Very well said !!!

Totally Agree

How would you envisage that the ladies that get shedloads of messages, find the time to reply then?

Neglect their work? Children?

Grown up responsibilities?

Is that not one of the perils of joining this site

You all know that you going to get a lot of messages

At least be polite

There are ladies that seem to be able to do it

"

You didnt answer my question

These ladies that " seem to be able to do it?"

They reply to all their msgs?

You know this, how?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *aughty_PompeyMan
over a year ago

Cosham

I'm not sure what the problem is. If I get a good response, then great. If I get a bad response or none at all, I move on with my life. I don't take it personally.

Some people have particular requirements that they don't feel I fall into. They may be right or wrong, but it's not worth my while attempting to convince them otherwise.

If people aren't my particular cup of tea, I try to be polite. But some people will always struggle with rejection.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It doesn't take long to type...'no thank you' surely

Once, no. A hundred times a day, yes. Not an issue I face, obviously. "

Now a sensible woman would use her filters if this is the case

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find that you honestly can't win either way. So i doubt this would make much difference.

I either respond with a "No, Thank you" and get abuse, or delete - and get abuse! Don't get me wrong, im not referring to every guy/couple... but too many throw their teddy out of the pram then wonder why they haven't achieved a single meet!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It doesn't take long to type...'no thank you' surely

Once, no. A hundred times a day, yes. Not an issue I face, obviously.

Now a sensible woman would use her filters if this is the case "

Apparently receiving a meet verification from someone with a 12" dick should get rid of them.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes a Polite response is nice but the delete or block is part of the fab life.

After you get deleted enough times it kinda becomes the norm..

So if you do get a response from time to time it's a buzz

But to be fair some of my fellow members create a delete society by the msgs they send...so its understandable

Plus its a ratio of 200000000000 guys to 1 lady so odds are stacked lol

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster

ADmin have commented on this before they’d done it on sister sites and it creates more problems than it solves

I too have been on site with this function and the loan goes from “everyone’s ride and ignorant” to “its so impersonal to use the no thanks button”

The sites money from site supposrters is better spent making improvements elsewhere.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I find that you honestly can't win either way. So i doubt this would make much difference.

I either respond with a "No, Thank you" and get abuse, or delete - and get abuse! Don't get me wrong, im not referring to every guy/couple... but too many throw their teddy out of the pram then wonder why they haven't achieved a single meet! "

This

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In my recent post on the '"No thank you" button' Admin said they used to have such a button before on Fab but it did not work.

Its a pity...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *he Happy ManMan
over a year ago

Merseyside


"Do you think it would be a good idea to have a button in the message fields that informed the user that you've read their message, but politely states that you weren't what they were looking for. It could also be something you couldn't reply to by removing the reply if someone has hit this and people would have to write a new message to send if they were pushing, which would give you a similar warning as you get if you message someone who hasn't responded.

Not many people like typing out a rejection, and it's clearer than ignoring somone."

Admin had a thanks but no thanks button a few years ago. People complained it was impersonal and it only takes under a minute to type no thanks.

You just can't win.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It’s about good manners and common decency, it only takes a few seconds to send a polite decline.

I think it says all you need to know about a person if they can’t be arsed to reply to well written thoughtful message, not someone I would wish to know

Is that not one of the perils of joining this site. You all know that you going to get a lot of messages. At least be polite. There are ladies that seem to be able to do it.

"

Here's some simple arithmetic:

Let's say that the average Fabber can read one message every thirty seconds, and takes thirty seconds to think over their response...

Considering that some women receive 200 or 300 messages per day, they could potentially spend three and five hours just reading their messages...

Let's also say that the average Fabber can type and send a 'polite decline' in thirty seconds...

Even if only 20% of the messages they receive are found to warrant a 'polite' response, you still have to factor in an additional 20 or 30 minutes writing replies...

So, if you demand that people invest the time needed to enable them to answer every single 'polite' message that they receive, you're asking them to sacrifice between 3.5 and 5.5 hours EACH DAY...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

1millions times yes!!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *radleywigginsMan
over a year ago

northwest


"It’s about good manners and common decency, it only takes a few seconds to send a polite decline.

I think it says all you need to know about a person if they can’t be arsed to reply to well written thoughtful message, not someone I would wish to know

Is that not one of the perils of joining this site. You all know that you going to get a lot of messages. At least be polite. There are ladies that seem to be able to do it.

Here's some simple arithmetic:

Let's say that the average Fabber can read one message every thirty seconds, and takes thirty seconds to think over their response...

Considering that some women receive 200 or 300 messages per day, they could potentially spend three and five hours just reading their messages...

Let's also say that the average Fabber can type and send a 'polite decline' in thirty seconds...

Even if only 20% of the messages they receive are found to warrant a 'polite' response, you still have to factor in an additional 20 or 30 minutes writing replies...

So, if you demand that people invest the time needed to enable them to answer every single 'polite' message that they receive, you're asking them to sacrifice between 3.5 and 5.5 hours EACH DAY..."

Unless that's the type of attention they are looking for I suspect they learn to use the message filters pretty quickly

Or to search for the profiles they are I and take the risk of having their messages ignored themselves..

Or maybe not..

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Unless that's the type of attention they are looking for I suspect they learn to use the message filters pretty quickly

Or to search for the profiles they are I and take the risk of having their messages ignored themselves..

Or maybe not.."

Seriously...next time you meet with a woman or couple, ask them what filters they use and how many messages they receive each day...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds


"We work on the principle that if someone’s taken the time to write a message then they deserve a reply. That’s assuming it’s a considered message that is, not a ‘How’s U?’ / ‘Wot U up 2?’ type lazy fishing trip."

I used to think like this but not now. Before I hid my profile I used the delete and block a lot but saying that I’ve still to use it now!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I really don't know why people get so annoyed about people not replying, chill out, this is all a load of old bollocks anyway, it's just a bit of fun never to be taken seriously. If people don't want to reply then that's up to them. Saying they should reply because it's rude is like asking people who do reply not to. Do what you feel comfortable doing and let others do the same.

Why would non site supporters use their limited amount of messages declining 50 plus people a day? They want to use their quota to chat to people they are interested in. Maybe if people weren't abusive or pushy following a polite no thanks more people would reply?

This site is what it is, this subject will always be discussed yet it will never change. It really isn't worth getting stressed about.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I really don't know why people get so annoyed about people not replying, chill out, this is all a load of old bollocks anyway, it's just a bit of fun never to be taken seriously. If people don't want to reply then that's up to them. Saying they should reply because it's rude is like asking people who do reply not to. Do what you feel comfortable doing and let others do the same.

Why would non site supporters use their limited amount of messages declining 50 plus people a day? They want to use their quota to chat to people they are interested in. Maybe if people weren't abusive or pushy following a polite no thanks more people would reply?

This site is what it is, this subject will always be discussed yet it will never change. It really isn't worth getting stressed about. "

Believe it or not, the suggestion was born out of a need to say no thank you, without having to think of a way to word it that sounds completey polite.

A generic "it looks like this user is looking for something different. Maybe youd have more luck with somebody else."

Coming from a third party, it's like being told by a friend that someone's not really into you. You tend not to push that, as opposed to messaging back right away asking why.

Neither of us have a problem handling rejection though. Also, I wasn't expecting sending an auto response saying "no thank you" to go against messaging credits, but we're site supporters and I didn't even know you had a limit.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There is one already.....

Yeah, the delete message and block buttons. "

That’s what I thought!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I support the idea and think it would improve morale amongst many men.

It's been suggested in the site feedback section, so you can also state your thoughts there.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By *onnor999Man
over a year ago

Wrexham

Do people really say things like that when they get turned down? No wonder they don't get meets, they should be banned from the site.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top