FabSwingers.com forum: Pushing Boundaries

By *lkDomWhtSubBiCple OP Couple
over a year ago

Somewhere / Everywhere /Kinksville

our Profile seems to attract people wanting to try new things. Bi Male sex from one degree to another and the sub bi guy bdsm thing. Oh and for some reason they assume I’m into pegging - truth is I’m a virgin!!

I’m always a bit hesitant in case they change their mind. But everyone has to start somewhere...

Do you embrace newbies or not ?

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By *ikilovesCCouple
over a year ago

village life, closest main town inverness

Pretty much newbies here and all we can say is that....

all the folks we have met so far have been wonderful to us and if there's some who are disdainful of beginners, well they haven't shown it nor made us feel uncomfortable

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends on if I like them or not. They usually disappear when I don't give them any wank chat.

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By *ara JTV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol East

Pegging? That's a new one on me. What does it mean, if you don't mind me asking?

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By *otForSoftiesWoman
over a year ago

The North / Party Hard Everywhere

Yes I’m happy to embrace newbies but many get cold feet and back out so club meets only so I don’t waste my time.

And get that strap on out, everything you’ve done was a first time once

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By *otForSoftiesWoman
over a year ago

The North / Party Hard Everywhere

"Pegging? That's a new one on me. What does it mean, if you don't mind me asking?"

Fuck a man with a strap on

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By *ara JTV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol East

"Pegging? That's a new one on me. What does it mean, if you don't mind me asking?

Fuck a man with a strap on

Every day's a school day!

thanks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am not a believer in pushing boundaries. My approach is through negotiation and discussion to find out what is the precise kinky things that interest them. If their desires match my interests I then allow them to explore the fantasy and facilitate it under my control and in a safe environment to find what is their kink hot button. If the scene goes well I may suggest experiences that are aligned to what we tried which they may like to explore in another session. But it is their desire not mine.

In my experience there are three types of newbies, those who want something but don't know what it is. Those who know exactly what they want but have never tried it and do not know how they will react to the reality. The third are just confused, they are all guns blazing one minute and then lukewarm the next. The third group is a pain, but the first two types I have sympathy with as it takes a leap faith to jump into kink. Not everybody has that courage. They have to find the right time for them.

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By *ikilovesCCouple
over a year ago

village life, closest main town inverness

"Yes I’m happy to embrace newbies but many get cold feet and back out so club meets only so I don’t waste my time.

And get that strap on out, everything you’ve done was a first time once

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By *lkDomWhtSubBiCple OP Couple
over a year ago

Somewhere / Everywhere /Kinksville

"Yes I’m happy to embrace newbies but many get cold feet and back out so club meets only so I don’t waste my time.

And get that strap on out, everything you’ve done was a first time once

I get a lot of interest in me wearing a strap on. All by guys though. I need a lady friend

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By *ikilovesCCouple
over a year ago

village life, closest main town inverness

"Yes I’m happy to embrace newbies but many get cold feet and back out so club meets only so I don’t waste my time.

And get that strap on out, everything you’ve done was a first time once

I get a lot of interest in me wearing a strap on. All by guys though. I need a lady friend

lol, I bet

Just simply wearing one is fun and an experience

Doing photoshoots in one is a really erotic experience too

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By *otForSoftiesWoman
over a year ago

The North / Party Hard Everywhere

"Yes I’m happy to embrace newbies but many get cold feet and back out so club meets only so I don’t waste my time.

And get that strap on out, everything you’ve done was a first time once

I get a lot of interest in me wearing a strap on. All by guys though. I need a lady friend

You can’t beat having a lady friend with strap ons. I have several

And happy to make more

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By *ucy LewdWoman
over a year ago

North Oxfordshire

I never meet people (and have never met people) who say they want to 'push boundaries'. Boundaries are there for a reason, and that reason is not for them to be pushed...

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By *otForSoftiesWoman
over a year ago

The North / Party Hard Everywhere

"I never meet people (and have never met people) who say they want to 'push boundaries'. Boundaries are there for a reason, and that reason is not for them to be pushed..."

I use the words limit to demote hard limit and boundary as something they may want to push. It’s all semantics but as long as there’s communication and clarity, then consent should be clear.

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By *ucy LewdWoman
over a year ago

North Oxfordshire

"I never meet people (and have never met people) who say they want to 'push boundaries'. Boundaries are there for a reason, and that reason is not for them to be pushed...

I use the words limit to demote hard limit and boundary as something they may want to push. It’s all semantics but as long as there’s communication and clarity, then consent should be clear.

I find the word 'limit' difficult.

Something might be a limit for me with one person, and not the other. Which leads to people going 'well you did it with that person, so I thought it was ok'.

Often the first thing someone into BDSM will ask me is 'what are your limits?' and I have no idea what to say. I've barely spoken to them, so I have no idea what my limits *with them* will be.

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By *otForSoftiesWoman
over a year ago

The North / Party Hard Everywhere

"I never meet people (and have never met people) who say they want to 'push boundaries'. Boundaries are there for a reason, and that reason is not for them to be pushed...

I use the words limit to demote hard limit and boundary as something they may want to push. It’s all semantics but as long as there’s communication and clarity, then consent should be clear.

I find the word 'limit' difficult.

Something might be a limit for me with one person, and not the other. Which leads to people going 'well you did it with that person, so I thought it was ok'.

Often the first thing someone into BDSM will ask me is 'what are your limits?' and I have no idea what to say. I've barely spoken to them, so I have no idea what my limits *with them* will be."

A good Dom/me would never say well you did it with that person. I would expect someone to check first and even if you can’t think of every limit, they’ll have a good idea on the scene they want to do so can tailor it and ask specific questions. It is the D responsibility to make sure everything they do will be safe sane and consensual.

As a switch I personally have general limits that apply to anyone across the board, then tailor it to someone specific depending what it is we want to do. It can be easy to omit something because you don’t think through fully what the scene may involve but the Dom/me should lead this. I had to restate my limits a couple of months back as stuff was happening that for me wasn’t explicitly agreed and was dangerous for me personally.

Always good to renegotiate and talk after every scene if there was something not right. Anyone who doesn’t listen or respect limits or how you feel or are affected, stay away from.

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