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"p.p.s. I do think it is a very valid question. I've sometimes seen people behave in ways that made me wonder if they were in it for themselves or because they thought they needed to live up to certain expectations or, as you say, needed to feel wanted." This! Everyone has their own reason for being in this - for me it’s about being in a partnership & experiencing things together as well as making friends. We enjoy the social side of things at Townhouse as much as the sexual side & although we occasionally play separately, we still know who with, when, where etc & share the details. The fun for us is that we are doing it together. The feeling of being wanted / needed we get from each other, the rest of it is a thrill!! | |||
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" ![]() Both are valid - and sexually I am definitely primal prey, so for me being pursued, lusted after and yes, wanted is a big part of the turn-on, as well as partly fulfilling deeper emotional needs, which I am very open about anyway. ![]() | |||
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" ![]() ![]() What’s your top four lady? | |||
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"Fab makes the old saying Women have sex to feel loved. Men just love to have sex look pretty accurate. It seems to me that the vast majority of single women here are using their apparent lack of inhibitions to hook a man. And the competitiveness between the females, along with the blatant pissing up lampposts, bears that out. Imo of course." Pretty much agree with this, although I would say you can have sex and friendship, without it being a committed full-on relationship. | |||
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"Fab makes the old saying Women have sex to feel loved. Men just love to have sex look pretty accurate. It seems to me that the vast majority of single women here are using their apparent lack of inhibitions to hook a man. And the competitiveness between the females, along with the blatant pissing up lampposts, bears that out. Imo of course. Pretty much agree with this, although I would say you can have sex and friendship, without it being a committed full-on relationship. " something women struggle with. | |||
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"Fab makes the old saying Women have sex to feel loved. Men just love to have sex look pretty accurate. It seems to me that the vast majority of single women here are using their apparent lack of inhibitions to hook a man. And the competitiveness between the females, along with the blatant pissing up lampposts, bears that out. Imo of course. Pretty much agree with this, although I would say you can have sex and friendship, without it being a committed full-on relationship. something women struggle with." I know. Something to do with that Venus/Mars thing and to be handled with great care..... | |||
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"Fab makes the old saying Women have sex to feel loved. Men just love to have sex look pretty accurate. It seems to me that the vast majority of single women here are using their apparent lack of inhibitions to hook a man. And the competitiveness between the females, along with the blatant pissing up lampposts, bears that out. Imo of course. Pretty much agree with this, although I would say you can have sex and friendship, without it being a committed full-on relationship. something women struggle with. I know. Something to do with that Venus/Mars thing and to be handled with great care....." Or not at all. | |||
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"Fab makes the old saying Women have sex to feel loved. Men just love to have sex look pretty accurate. It seems to me that the vast majority of single women here are using their apparent lack of inhibitions to hook a man. And the competitiveness between the females, along with the blatant pissing up lampposts, bears that out. Imo of course. Pretty much agree with this, although I would say you can have sex and friendship, without it being a committed full-on relationship. something women struggle with. I know. Something to do with that Venus/Mars thing and to be handled with great care....." Sex & friendship for me. I don't want and tbh, don't think I could ever see myself in a 'conventional relationship' again. But a FWB, open relationship type set up ticks the boxes. Best of both worlds ![]() | |||
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"Fab makes the old saying Women have sex to feel loved. Men just love to have sex look pretty accurate. It seems to me that the vast majority of single women here are using their apparent lack of inhibitions to hook a man. And the competitiveness between the females, along with the blatant pissing up lampposts, bears that out. Imo of course. Pretty much agree with this, although I would say you can have sex and friendship, without it being a committed full-on relationship. something women struggle with. I know. Something to do with that Venus/Mars thing and to be handled with great care..... Or not at all. " Pretty much. I don't know about the competitive women though. I haven't noticed any fighting over me.. ![]() | |||
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"I've had sex with people I don't love but have been physically attracted to....but ultimately the ones who there is some kind of friendship with seem to be the best. It's mad. I wasn't looking for any kind of relationship on here at all and yet I have crazy feelings for a guy and vice versa it's more than just lust.... He is my friend but I care about him and what happens to him. If we were both single it wouldn't be an issue as we know we would be spending every available minute together. But we are both married so we know it's only ever going to be a love affair and that's where it ends... " It's very hard but when you know in your head exactly what it is and isn't going to be it's easier to accept. I have exactly this too, plus a couple of hundred miles between us. We count ourselves as a couple and swing separately, the bugger has much more luck than me lol. ![]() | |||
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"I think sex without strings would be easier for some women here if it were less in your face. There is such a lack of subtlety on fab, a female can see the guy she had a wonderful time with the other night, arranging to fuck another female the next, and that can hurt. No matter how casual the hook up. As a woman it can be a lot easier to have great sex with no strings so long as you don't have it rubbed in your face that you're absolutely nothing special by seeing the man going out and fucking whoever after. Imo" Double standards perhaps? I'm sure that works in both directions on here... don't you think? | |||
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"I think sex without strings would be easier for some women here if it were less in your face. There is such a lack of subtlety on fab, a female can see the guy she had a wonderful time with the other night, arranging to fuck another female the next, and that can hurt. No matter how casual the hook up. As a woman it can be a lot easier to have great sex with no strings so long as you don't have it rubbed in your face that you're absolutely nothing special by seeing the man going out and fucking whoever after. Imo Double standards perhaps? I'm sure that works in both directions on here... don't you think? " Women and men may be equal but they're not the same and their sex drives and motivations differ many times. Fab is designed for males more than women, it would appear. you only have to look at the vastly differing numbers of each sex that use it. | |||
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"I think sex without strings would be easier for some women here if it were less in your face. There is such a lack of subtlety on fab, a female can see the guy she had a wonderful time with the other night, arranging to fuck another female the next, and that can hurt. No matter how casual the hook up. As a woman it can be a lot easier to have great sex with no strings so long as you don't have it rubbed in your face that you're absolutely nothing special by seeing the man going out and fucking whoever after. Imo Double standards perhaps? I'm sure that works in both directions on here... don't you think? " I wonder how much of that is to do simply with ego.... | |||
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"I think sex without strings would be easier for some women here if it were less in your face. There is such a lack of subtlety on fab, a female can see the guy she had a wonderful time with the other night, arranging to fuck another female the next, and that can hurt. No matter how casual the hook up. As a woman it can be a lot easier to have great sex with no strings so long as you don't have it rubbed in your face that you're absolutely nothing special by seeing the man going out and fucking whoever after. Imo" I agree!! I don't care if a man has fucked 1 or 100 women this week. I just don't want to know about it. | |||
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" ![]() its about variety and variety is the spice of life ,I imagine we all get something different out of it and perhaps feeling wanted is one of those but mostly its about sex for some with as many partners as possible and for others with a few but on a regular basis ,I lean toward the regular get to know and become friends area | |||
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"I've had sex with people I don't love but have been physically attracted to....but ultimately the ones who there is some kind of friendship with seem to be the best. It's mad. I wasn't looking for any kind of relationship on here at all and yet I have crazy feelings for a guy and vice versa it's more than just lust.... It sounds like you both love each other and if that’s the case maybe you should be together. More than half of marriages end in divorce and you only live once He is my friend but I care about him and what happens to him. If we were both single it wouldn't be an issue as we know we would be spending every available minute together. But we are both married so we know it's only ever going to be a love affair and that's where it ends... " | |||
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"I think sex without strings would be easier for some women here if it were less in your face. There is such a lack of subtlety on fab, a female can see the guy she had a wonderful time with the other night, arranging to fuck another female the next, and that can hurt. No matter how casual the hook up. As a woman it can be a lot easier to have great sex with no strings so long as you don't have it rubbed in your face that you're absolutely nothing special by seeing the man going out and fucking whoever after. Imo" exactly if only people could keep what they do to themselves it seems and this applies to both sexes some love to brag about their exploits ![]() | |||
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"It is both! We all want to be wanted, the main difference is that some people are happy with that just being physical and others want the connection. In my opinion, sex is rubbish without a proper connection. Might as well just masterbait. But that's just my opinion. I gotta admit I have almost felt sorry for some let's say 'successful' swingers because they are so cold and clinical about it. I thought is that so they don't develop emotions? Or are they just like that as people? Difficult one to answer as our brains are so complex " The very concept of swinging is partner swapping for nsa sex . I know it’s changed , evolved , and become something that embraces singles , TVs , cds , ts and so on , but the simple ethos is much the same . As a happily married couple it’s easy for us to see swinging as purely nsa , and other than lust and pleasure , there are no emotions involved . Does that make us cold and clinical ? I really don’t think so . Do we have no emotions in real life ? Of course we do , the very same emotions as any other married couple with kids . We separate our swinging life from our real life , and share the same emotional bonds and so on living our lives as you and everyone else . The fact we enjoy sharing a part of our sex life with others makes no difference to how we are when we aren’t swinging . | |||
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"Fab makes the old saying Women have sex to feel loved. Men just love to have sex look pretty accurate. It seems to me that the vast majority of single women here are using their apparent lack of inhibitions to hook a man. And the competitiveness between the females, along with the blatant pissing up lampposts, bears that out. Imo of course. Pretty much agree with this, although I would say you can have sex and friendship, without it being a committed full-on relationship. " Sex and friendship is perfect. Don't want a soulmate but an exciting set of liasons with friendship in the mix! | |||
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"I think sex without strings would be easier for some women here if it were less in your face. There is such a lack of subtlety on fab, a female can see the guy she had a wonderful time with the other night, arranging to fuck another female the next, and that can hurt. No matter how casual the hook up. As a woman it can be a lot easier to have great sex with no strings so long as you don't have it rubbed in your face that you're absolutely nothing special by seeing the man going out and fucking whoever after. Imo" Interesting this is exactly how I thought I would have felt, and was fully expecting too. But the very fact of watching what you describe really hammers home the nsa bit and really makes it easier for me to keep it at that, so I know no feelings will creep in beyond a 'friendship'. | |||
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"I think sex without strings would be easier for some women here if it were less in your face. There is such a lack of subtlety on fab, a female can see the guy she had a wonderful time with the other night, arranging to fuck another female the next, and that can hurt. No matter how casual the hook up. As a woman it can be a lot easier to have great sex with no strings so long as you don't have it rubbed in your face that you're absolutely nothing special by seeing the man going out and fucking whoever after. Imo Interesting this is exactly how I thought I would have felt, and was fully expecting too. But the very fact of watching what you describe really hammers home the nsa bit and really makes it easier for me to keep it at that, so I know no feelings will creep in beyond a 'friendship'. " I can see that. Although for me it would lead to disdain for the man. | |||
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"I think sex without strings would be easier for some women here if it were less in your face. There is such a lack of subtlety on fab, a female can see the guy she had a wonderful time with the other night, arranging to fuck another female the next, and that can hurt. No matter how casual the hook up. As a woman it can be a lot easier to have great sex with no strings so long as you don't have it rubbed in your face that you're absolutely nothing special by seeing the man going out and fucking whoever after. Imo " Swinging is not for everyone. It makes no difference at all if you're a man or woman. If you'd prefer the person you're having sex with not to be having sex with anyone else or to hide it then as a couple or a single, this probably isn't the ideal scene for you. | |||
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"I think sex without strings would be easier for some women here if it were less in your face. There is such a lack of subtlety on fab, a female can see the guy she had a wonderful time with the other night, arranging to fuck another female the next, and that can hurt. No matter how casual the hook up. As a woman it can be a lot easier to have great sex with no strings so long as you don't have it rubbed in your face that you're absolutely nothing special by seeing the man going out and fucking whoever after. Imo Swinging is not for everyone. It makes no difference at all if you're a man or woman. If you'd prefer the person you're having sex with not to be having sex with anyone else or to hide it then as a couple or a single, this probably isn't the ideal scene for you. " No shit. The difference between me and most others, is I recognised that very early on and no longer meet. | |||
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"It is both! We all want to be wanted, the main difference is that some people are happy with that just being physical and others want the connection. In my opinion, sex is rubbish without a proper connection. Might as well just masterbait. But that's just my opinion. I gotta admit I have almost felt sorry for some let's say 'successful' swingers because they are so cold and clinical about it. I thought is that so they don't develop emotions? Or are they just like that as people? Difficult one to answer as our brains are so complex The very concept of swinging is partner swapping for nsa sex . I know it’s changed , evolved , and become something that embraces singles , TVs , cds , ts and so on , but the simple ethos is much the same . As a happily married couple it’s easy for us to see swinging as purely nsa , and other than lust and pleasure , there are no emotions involved . Does that make us cold and clinical ? I really don’t think so . Do we have no emotions in real life ? Of course we do , the very same emotions as any other married couple with kids . We separate our swinging life from our real life , and share the same emotional bonds and so on living our lives as you and everyone else . The fact we enjoy sharing a part of our sex life with others makes no difference to how we are when we aren’t swinging . " ![]() ![]() | |||
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"I think sex without strings would be easier for some women here if it were less in your face. There is such a lack of subtlety on fab, a female can see the guy she had a wonderful time with the other night, arranging to fuck another female the next, and that can hurt. No matter how casual the hook up. As a woman it can be a lot easier to have great sex with no strings so long as you don't have it rubbed in your face that you're absolutely nothing special by seeing the man going out and fucking whoever after. Imo Swinging is not for everyone. It makes no difference at all if you're a man or woman. If you'd prefer the person you're having sex with not to be having sex with anyone else or to hide it then as a couple or a single, this probably isn't the ideal scene for you. No shit. The difference between me and most others, is I recognised that very early on and no longer meet. " Good for you that you know what you want. Maybe you shouldn't assume that there is a difference between you and most others for recognising what they want early on. I suggest most people while joining a swinging site are not thinking of monogamous sex. They've probably recognised early on what they're looking for. | |||
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"I think sex without strings would be easier for some women here if it were less in your face. There is such a lack of subtlety on fab, a female can see the guy she had a wonderful time with the other night, arranging to fuck another female the next, and that can hurt. No matter how casual the hook up. As a woman it can be a lot easier to have great sex with no strings so long as you don't have it rubbed in your face that you're absolutely nothing special by seeing the man going out and fucking whoever after. Imo" To an extent I’d agree! I’ve made it very clear to regular meets that , although I have zero problem with them meeting others, I don’t get off on it either! I don’t expect them not to meet others, but I certainly don’t get a thrill when I read further verifications from others. I accept it though as it’s all part of fab - and I really don’t think tinder etc would work for me as thete’s no group social, club, forum etc aspect! And with regard to the op - my meets fulfill both the need for raw sex and my need for friendship and affection! Most of my one on one meets are effectively a ‘boyfriend ‘ experience - but without any hassle or expectation afterwards on either part! X | |||
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"I think sex without strings would be easier for some women here if it were less in your face. There is such a lack of subtlety on fab, a female can see the guy she had a wonderful time with the other night, arranging to fuck another female the next, and that can hurt. No matter how casual the hook up. As a woman it can be a lot easier to have great sex with no strings so long as you don't have it rubbed in your face that you're absolutely nothing special by seeing the man going out and fucking whoever after. Imo Swinging is not for everyone. It makes no difference at all if you're a man or woman. If you'd prefer the person you're having sex with not to be having sex with anyone else or to hide it then as a couple or a single, this probably isn't the ideal scene for you. No shit. The difference between me and most others, is I recognised that very early on and no longer meet. Good for you that you know what you want. Maybe you shouldn't assume that there is a difference between you and most others for recognising what they want early on. I suggest most people while joining a swinging site are not thinking of monogamous sex. They've probably recognised early on what they're looking for. " Only judging by what I read on here. | |||
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" ![]() ![]() Top Four?? You mean in the quiz? Vanilla, submissive, primal, girl then brat I think lol! | |||
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"I think sex without strings would be easier for some women here if it were less in your face. There is such a lack of subtlety on fab, a female can see the guy she had a wonderful time with the other night, arranging to fuck another female the next, and that can hurt. No matter how casual the hook up. As a woman it can be a lot easier to have great sex with no strings so long as you don't have it rubbed in your face that you're absolutely nothing special by seeing the man going out and fucking whoever after. Imo Interesting this is exactly how I thought I would have felt, and was fully expecting too. But the very fact of watching what you describe really hammers home the nsa bit and really makes it easier for me to keep it at that, so I know no feelings will creep in beyond a 'friendship'. " I sometimes wonder about how we all view things here and indeed how we interact and react with others. I don't believe we can ever divorce emotions from sex in any form and maybe we forget those emotions are not just about relationships but cover everything from desire need excitement passion friendship lust a need to explore and discover an urge for adventure. I think often we reduce emotions to a binary consideration right wrong love hate etc. We are emotional beings everything from a smile to a frown is driven by emotional stimuli and that includes the whole range of interactions from nsa,fuck and run, through to fb or fwb, or indeed possibly something more as demonstrated by the number of couples who mix swinging with a strong personal relationship. I imagine almost every one on here has met for one off random meets with no intention of it ever being more or even just had a pick up in a pub or club and it has satisfied a need at that time. But personally it's the connection beyond a one off random shag that delivers more that connection with another exploring together discovering likes and dislikes and being open about what each needs. That's never the same as vanilla life but it still has an emotional connection that may not be considered conventional. But if we were conventional then we wouldn't be here. | |||
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