FabSwingers.com forum: No To Hotel Meet!

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I'd like to canvass people's opinion on why they say "No" to an hotel meet when neither party can accommodate.

Personally speaking, I'm not interested in those pay by the hour or motel type hotels, or even renting someone's bedroom for an hour for that matter, but a "respectable" hotel.

I'm not being condescending or supercilious, I'd just like to genuinely understand people's reason why, because to me, it would be a pleasant, obvious solution to the lack of accommodation and if you forgive my outdated views, cost sharing wouldn't come in to it.

Thank you,x

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By *oubyLoverWoman
over a year ago

East Yorkshire

if neither accomodate and a Hotel isn’t an option then you’re left with dogging or a club. Hotels the nicer option.

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

While hotels can be fun, for me, they don't work as a regular thing which is my preference atm

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"if neither accomodate and a Hotel isn’t an option then you’re left with dogging or a club. Hotels the nicer option. "

Apart from no meet at all, that is my view as well. I understand dogging and club meets are specific dynamics so those aside, I'm just trying to understand the objection to hotels Not challenge, just understand.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Possibly it’s the expectation that a hotel meet puts pressure on to play as a room is booked and paid for.

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By *atureandhornyCouple
over a year ago

Liverpool

A nice spa hotel is ideal for us. Safe and discreet with comfortable accommodation.

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By *ll 4 herCouple
over a year ago

Bury/Bolton

We get few opportunities for fun, probably once per month at best, so to use that rare opportunity and (for want of a better expression) backing just that one horse doesn't work for us.

We'd much rather meet in a club and if things don't work out there are still possibilities for both to move on and still have fun.

A club is a much safer environment too, could go on but you get the point.

If we've met before however we would see the benefit of a hotel meet and wouldn't rule it out entirely, the experience we've got off here to date though does make it look unlikely in the near future.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Possibly it’s the expectation that a hotel meet puts pressure on to play as a room is booked and paid for. "

this

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

I think some of the horror stories posted may also put people off. I remember someone posting they'd arranged a hotel met only to find the bloke had arranged a gangbang and had taken money for it. He didn't even turn up just took the money.

It does beg the question if you don't accommodate or like hotels where do you meet.

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By *ieman300Man
over a year ago

Best Greggs in Cheshire East

"Possibly it’s the expectation that a hotel meet puts pressure on to play as a room is booked and paid for. "

I don't follow. If I am meeting for a social I wouldn't book a hotel. Either both parties agree to sex or they don't. If not agreed then don't book a hotel. Am I missing something?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Possibly it’s the expectation that a hotel meet puts pressure on to play as a room is booked and paid for.

I don't follow. If I am meeting for a social I wouldn't book a hotel. Either both parties agree to sex or they don't. If not agreed then don't book a hotel. Am I missing something?"

Even if a hotel room is booked and paid for EITHER person can say no, however some my feel obliged due to the effort made even if they aren’t keen

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Possibly it’s the expectation that a hotel meet puts pressure on to play as a room is booked and paid for. "

My preference is for a hotel room. But even then, I won't assume that sex will happen. If the other person isn't in the zone for whatever reason, I absolutely won't force the subject.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Possibly it’s the expectation that a hotel meet puts pressure on to play as a room is booked and paid for. "

This is exactly it for us, meeting in a hotel knowing someone has paid for a room just feels a bit awkward and less easy to walk away. We prefer clubs for this reason as there’s both the chance to socialise and play or walk away with no pressure.

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By *oubyLoverWoman
over a year ago

East Yorkshire

"While hotels can be fun, for me, they don't work as a regular thing which is my preference atm

Me too. Hotel is great for a nice treat but as a regular thing it’s not feasible

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"While hotels can be fun, for me, they don't work as a regular thing which is my preference atm

Me too. Hotel is great for a nice treat but as a regular thing it’s not feasible "

I would agree. I love to treat people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Only for a sex meet would I use a hotel. For a social I would feel under some sort of obligation.

And for me the cheaper the better as it's only for sex, and I would never expect him to pay for all of it.. Unless it's one of my regulars who have better taste than me and lots more money. But I will try to pay for a meal or something.

There's also a risk with hotels that things can fall through and someone will be left out of pocket, that's happened to me so for someone new I will not do the booking. It just gets more complicated.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thank you for giving me some insight.

I didn't make it clear but I did mean that after socials in "normal" places then if all went well, after how ever meets it took, hotel but not just for sex. I certainly wasn't thinking travel lodge type, more a facilities hotel so it was more relaxing and time out could be taken if required.

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By *unandbuckCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield

Not aimed at you OP, but if we were meeting someone for the first time, we'd generally say no to a hotel meet. We'd pick a club. It avoids issues of no shows, and not clicking with each other when you actually meet. Both parties can still find something fun to do in a club if it doesnt work out.

We have done hotel meets, but normally with repeat meets.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think some folk like to pay half, and even if someone else said they'd pay, pride comes into it. This time of the year with Christmas and other bills, hotels are an expensive option.

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By *inful xWoman
over a year ago

In a sleepy little village

Hotel meets are my preferred choice

I feel a lot safer in a hotel than going to someone's house.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can accom at home,work away a lot so can accom hotel,have had meets after drink n chat,love hotel fun,specially in big cities,high up n no need for curtains lol,would always have social first

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

With today's technology and simplicity to book on line I love a hotel meet

I source a good one with a bar ...

I don't book it I just arrange to meet in the bar for a drink or a coffee .just like a social ..

If everyone's up for fun I simply book a room on line using my.phone ...

Then I slip to reception to check in .

When I have the room key I offer it to the couple to go and get comfy and say I'll join them in ten ..

Or I suggest I go to the room and they Join me in ten

Or if.lucky me and the lady go together and hubby joins us in ten ....

Keeping it simple and discreet

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By *illnatMan
over a year ago

wherever i need to be

"Hotel meets are my preferred choice

I feel a lot safer in a hotel than going to someone's house."

I agree with this having read some of the horror stories from the forums.

However it’s probably more practical due to my circumstances which I make no secret of in my profile. Also it’s probably a less pressured environment to an extent as you have no fear of anyone just popping by for a coffee or all the clutter of daily life lol.

Would meet at someone’s house if it were going to be a regular thing but at the end of the day each to their own i suppose.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd like to canvass people's opinion on why they say "No" to an hotel meet when neither party can accommodate.

Personally speaking, I'm not interested in those pay by the hour or motel type hotels, or even renting someone's bedroom for an hour for that matter, but a "respectable" hotel.

Thank you,x

Cost is an issue for some as "hotel" threads pay testament to. So even if you choose to pay for it, it'll be an issue.

For some, they don't like " I'm in your area in X hotel, can we meet?", i don't know why.

I like hotel meets

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 05/12/17 17:39:25]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 05/12/17 17:40:27]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Possibly it’s the expectation that a hotel meet puts pressure on to play as a room is booked and paid for. "

That,and possibly the fact the other party may not be flush at that particular time to splash out half on a hotel,or the lady may feel she is being prostituted if a guy is paying all of the room(back to the expectation to play)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like meets lasting 1-2hrs, a man paying for a hotel will want to get his moneys worth,often asking for overnight. I host a trusted couple of men, otherwise it's their place or very occasionally car fun XXX

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I meet with a woman that I had been talking to extensively for a couple of months and being as we lived some distance appart (over 200 miles) I booked a hotel near to her as I didn't want to be traveling there and back on one day.

Talking prior to the meet we where both prety sure that it would be a fun meet but there was absoloutly no pressure on either of us go through with anything we didn't want to do. Luckily we got on just as well in person than when we where messaging or talking on the phone, so the meet when't exactly as we planned.

Granted there is always some risk involved In meeting someone for the first time like this, but for us it worked out perfectly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Only do a hotel meet with someone I'd met before not a 1st time meet even after a social.

You could be walking into any situation!

If it seems to good to be true it usually is!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I'd met him before and we clicked then I'd have no problem going to a hotel with him

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just thinking isn't a hotel meet a bit safer as they have cctv especially for your first meet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have had lots of hotel meets, mostly first meets, lots of time for social and hopefully fun, played most times but a couple of times we retired to our own room alone or drank the night away with them in the bar

We always state playing is not guaranteed and if we all accept that there are no excuses

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't meet any more, but when we did...

In my experience, men who booked hotels wanted 'their moneys worth'. Even the ones who didn't want me to stay overnight generally expected me to spend a few hours with them. Which I guess is understandable, but it's not what I was looking for. I liked Fuck and Go meets, usually 30-45 minutes tops. Not worth booking a hotel room for.

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By *ampWithABrainWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

Lots of reasons, some already mentioned.

Expectation, cost, travel to hotel, for me the main issue would be I generally don't like to meet people who can't Accom, even though I usually meet at mine for fun, if they can't Accom that usually means they're cheating, not a dynamic I'm interested in getting caught up in.

Particularly true if they're a long way from home.

I also prefer regular or repeat meets and I like to get to know people fairly well before meeting so I'm not interested in "I'm in your area in a hotel lets meet" plus that smacks of viewing meets as no more than unpaid call girls, another dynamic I'm not interested in.

However, as I can't Accom overnight if someone I knew well and had met a few times previously fancied an overnight as a treat to ourselves that's a possibility if I could afford my half at the time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We like hotel meets for guys but not for couples play ..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Lots of reasons, some already mentioned.

Particularly true if they're a long way from home.

However, as I can't Accom overnight if someone I knew well and had met a few times previously fancied an overnight as a treat to ourselves that's a possibility if I could afford my half at the time. "

"People who can't accommodate usually means they're cheating"

Just a tad judgemental perhaps?

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By *ampWithABrainWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

"Lots of reasons, some already mentioned.

Particularly true if they're a long way from home.

However, as I can't Accom overnight if someone I knew well and had met a few times previously fancied an overnight as a treat to ourselves that's a possibility if I could afford my half at the time.

"People who can't accommodate usually means they're cheating"

Just a tad judgemental perhaps?"

More like the wisdom of experience. Been on here 5 years on n off, there are some things that generally signify someone is cheating. Not being able to accommodate is one, there's usually others too it's a case of getting a feel for these things.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

mrs would only meet someone in a hotel if they are booked in for other reasons like working away ...guys/couples/women who book hotels for fun then there seems a sense of entitlement

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By *olliPineCouple
over a year ago

swingers clubs

"Not aimed at you OP, but if we were meeting someone for the first time, we'd generally say no to a hotel meet. We'd pick a club. It avoids issues of no shows, and not clicking with each other when you actually meet. Both parties can still find something fun to do in a club if it doesnt work out.

We have done hotel meets, but normally with repeat meets.

This. All day long.

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By *ed PlanetCouple
over a year ago

Beautiful East Yorkshire

We're still finding out what our thing is, tried clubbing, not great experiences!

We had a social meet, then arranged to meet in a neutral city, both couples booked a room in same hotel, had a night out together and all ended back in our room, with lots of fun had!

So in that situation the hotel was great!

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By *sThunderThighsWoman
over a year ago

Toy Land

"Lots of reasons, some already mentioned.

Particularly true if they're a long way from home.

However, as I can't Accom overnight if someone I knew well and had met a few times previously fancied an overnight as a treat to ourselves that's a possibility if I could afford my half at the time.

"People who can't accommodate usually means they're cheating"

Just a tad judgemental perhaps?

I can't accommodate.. I'm not cheating on anyone!! Even if I could I don't think I would be comfortable people knowing where I lived! Unless we became really good friends .. hotels are safer in my opinion.. but like someone already said, it's not practical for regular meets !

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By *ieman300Man
over a year ago

Best Greggs in Cheshire East

"Possibly it’s the expectation that a hotel meet puts pressure on to play as a room is booked and paid for.

I don't follow. If I am meeting for a social I wouldn't book a hotel. Either both parties agree to sex or they don't. If not agreed then don't book a hotel. Am I missing something?

Even if a hotel room is booked and paid for EITHER person can say no, however some my feel obliged due to the effort made even if they aren’t keen"

Minds can change of course. If one isn't keen don't let it get as far as a hotel being booked.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

meet in the hotel for drinks

book it online on ya phone whilst having drinks it everyone wants to

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"meet in the hotel for drinks

book it online on ya phone whilst having drinks it everyone wants to"

Thats a good idea

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By *ieman300Man
over a year ago

Best Greggs in Cheshire East

"meet in the hotel for drinks

book it online on ya phone whilst having drinks it everyone wants to

Thats a good idea"

It blooming is yeah.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"meet in the hotel for drinks

book it online on ya phone whilst having drinks it everyone wants to

Thats a good idea

It blooming is yeah."

Did u get my veri?

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By *ieman300Man
over a year ago

Best Greggs in Cheshire East

"meet in the hotel for drinks

book it online on ya phone whilst having drinks it everyone wants to

Thats a good idea

It blooming is yeah.

Did u get my veri?"

Err no lol. Did we meet? I knew I shouldn't have had too many drinkies

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"meet in the hotel for drinks

book it online on ya phone whilst having drinks it everyone wants to

Thats a good idea

It blooming is yeah.

Did u get my veri?

Err no lol. Did we meet? I knew I shouldn't have had too many drinkies

Yes we did and you wanted me that much I couldnt resist your charm lol

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By *ieman300Man
over a year ago

Best Greggs in Cheshire East

"meet in the hotel for drinks

book it online on ya phone whilst having drinks it everyone wants to

Thats a good idea

It blooming is yeah.

Did u get my veri?

Err no lol. Did we meet? I knew I shouldn't have had too many drinkies

Yes we did and you wanted me that much I couldnt resist your charm lol"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP you say further on in the thread, that the hotel discussion takes place after a social has happened. I’m assuming that all parties have agreed they want to play, therefore presumably the people you are discussing playing with will have a suggestion as to accommodation if they deem a hotel an unacceptable option.

I personally have no issues with hotels as long as I know the person and its been decided that we definately want to play. If I’m unsure then obviously I wouldn’t lead someone on and allow a room to be booked.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like hotels with couples usually.

Single I am more likely to accom as the balance is equal . Though hotels are often preferred still.

Though this day age with stalkers / crazy people and just shall we say maybe unsavoury types. You have to consider your letting strangers into your home and thst means access to your lifestyle etc.

Also it's a personal private space for many so I get why so many don't like people in their home.

I function by having a social In town at coffee place. Then arrange a play meet if all happy after .

Have no issues in just walking off from meets if not going well or not feeling it. Done it many times just left after saying it's not for me , I never feel pressured or thst I have to do anything.

understand why many meet at clubs to mitigate issues. Though myself I despise clubs so I would just not meet the person /couple as I will not set foot in a club.

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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

I don't accommodate or travel, but I wouldn't meet in a hotel. I just like going to clubs. I can make a whole night of it socialise, dance, dress up and enjoy myself, if there is a connection and play then fabulous.. If not... Great night anyway.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Paying for a hotel meet is too close to paying for sex to us,

We also don’t see the point of booking a hotel in the same city or town we live in if we can accomm.

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By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

I don’t have spare cash to go halves on a room and letting the other party pay for all of it makes me feel awkward.

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