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When to ask to meet? *HELP*

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Hi all,

New to all of this so just wanting to generally know when it is a good time to ask to meet a fabber?

Im so bad at messaging because my sense of humour and personality doesn't seem to come through the message like id want it too, far better at a social or phone call but how can i say that without sounding pushy?

Bombardment of questions lol. Sorry, hope somebody could help

Max

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By *weeSeekoeieCouple
over a year ago

Richmond


"Hi all,

New to all of this so just wanting to generally know when it is a good time to ask to meet a fabber?

Im so bad at messaging because my sense of humour and personality doesn't seem to come through the message like id want it too, far better at a social or phone call but how can i say that without sounding pushy?

Bombardment of questions lol. Sorry, hope somebody could help

Max "

Personally, I like to get to know someone a bit before meeting. I, the woman of the pair here, never suggest a meet myself, I wait for someone else to bring it up. I do, however, hint that I'm free for the evening, the upcoming weekend, whatever.

Some people like to meet straightaway, little preamble; others prefer to take quite a bit a time before meeting. Just go with hints in the conversation to see if the other party might happen to be free, and suggest a drink?

Good luck.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I got a number and we was talking on WhatsApp then when i asked to phone the person they basically said no they wont veri me and basically blocked me but i would rather speak over the phone to get a feel for that person rather then message constantly without a voice to put to a face. Plus i have alot to say which takes alot longer to type haha

Thank you

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By *reenleavesCouple
over a year ago

North Wales

It could have been that they weren't who they said they were? Or weren't 'free' to talk?

Or they could have been like us and absolutely hate talking on the phone.

Meeting wise, we tend to chat for a fairly long time on fab before we arrange to meet. If we're still chatting after a few days then we'll usually suggest a club meeting or a social for a coffee. We usually wind up clicking with couples who are a fair way from us so it can take some planning.

If you casually suggest 'would you like to meet up for a coffee?' then it leaves them with room to make excuses not to if they don't want to. Or the can arrange something. Either way it provides a low pressure opportunity to meet up.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I got a number and we was talking on WhatsApp then when i asked to phone the person they basically said no they wont veri me and basically blocked me but i would rather speak over the phone to get a feel for that person rather then message constantly without a voice to put to a face. Plus i have alot to say which takes alot longer to type haha

Thank you "

They can't verify you unless they've met you or seen you on cam.

Chatting to a stranger on the phone isnt everyone's cup of tea. I suggest that you message introducing yourself then if you get a favourable reply suggest a coffee meet.

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By *eady and Willing 9Man
over a year ago

Wherever the party is @

They weren't who they say they were. Probably were going to ask for a load of picture and had no intention of ever meeting you. I wouldn't sweat it mate. Theor loss I say.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"They weren't who they say they were. Probably were going to ask for a load of picture and had no intention of ever meeting you. I wouldn't sweat it mate. Theor loss I say. "

Funny you should say that because she actually asked if i had any more pictures lol. Im not too fussed as its all a learning curve for me but if you have my number, why would you still just want to message when we can have a phone call lol otherwise whats the point of asking for my number in the first place?...

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By *inful xWoman
over a year ago

In a sleepy little village

For me personally I like to arrange a social pretty quickly. I won't chat on the phone but am happy to cam.

I think you just have to try and see what works best for you but as soon as the excuses come I would think "fantasist" and move on pretty swiftly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bout half ten quater to eleven after they've had supper

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"They weren't who they say they were. Probably were going to ask for a load of picture and had no intention of ever meeting you. I wouldn't sweat it mate. Theor loss I say.

Funny you should say that because she actually asked if i had any more pictures lol. Im not too fussed as its all a learning curve for me but if you have my number, why would you still just want to message when we can have a phone call lol otherwise whats the point of asking for my number in the first place?... "

Some don't like to talk on the phone. Though, I'm not sure why she mentioned she wouldn't veri you. It's like she tried to use an excuse to block you. Make it your fault for asking, so to speak. That would be suspect to me. I think it's common knowledge that verifying through a telephone call is no longer allowed anyway.

I would try and get to know someone a little, before offering up a meet, unless they seem to be hinting at one, then I'd go for it and just ask, if I were you. I know that I personally, would be put off, having someone ask me to meet up, only a few messages in. People like to run at different paces on here. That's why interaction and getting a feel for that person, by what they say, is key to a successful meet. Good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Try and build up a little rapour op and take it from there

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Think i shoot myself in the foot due to the fact I'm an eager beaver with when it comes to a meet. Not for sex, just for a social. Im pants at reading into messages and having a conversation without first seeing them eg social Because then i could see if i gel with that person. Through messages i don't talk or sound how i write if that makes sense ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't speak on the phone to someone, mostly because I hate my accent.

I also don't cam.

However I do have plenty of social veris that show I'm an actual person, so don't think I'd have to be questioned about being genuine or not.

I'd very much doubt the person you were chatting to was who they say they were, were after wank fodder, and bottled it when they thought they'd be found out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think you just have to feel it out. We like to chat on Skype or have a coffee/pub social fairly early, and I don't really mind asking straight up. But things might not be so easy for a single guy. I think you have to just feel out the person you're talking to. Also, remember this is the internet and many people are not who they claim...

Btw, OP, you have beautiful eyes

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

Honestly don't worry about it. You'll probably have that situation crop up a few times.

I kinda clam up on the phone at times. I have no clue why.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"They weren't who they say they were. Probably were going to ask for a load of picture and had no intention of ever meeting you. I wouldn't sweat it mate. Theor loss I say.

Funny you should say that because she actually asked if i had any more pictures lol. Im not too fussed as its all a learning curve for me but if you have my number, why would you still just want to message when we can have a phone call lol otherwise whats the point of asking for my number in the first place?... "

I have lots of numbers but would much rather text than speak on the phone. I will do if i can't avoid it but phone chats about nothing in particular aren't my thing

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By *atrionaSavageWoman
over a year ago

Birmingham


"Think i shoot myself in the foot due to the fact I'm an eager beaver with when it comes to a meet. Not for sex, just for a social. Im pants at reading into messages and having a conversation without first seeing them eg social Because then i could see if i gel with that person. Through messages i don't talk or sound how i write if that makes sense ? "

Why don't you try and go to local organised socials or clubs? It's a great way to introduce yourself to people without any pressure to play. You'll get to know the scene more and will play to your strengths if you feel more comfortable in person than via messages. Just a thought and good luck! Cat

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