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Sub games

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By *ombull15 OP   Man
over a year ago

essex

How many ladies love to be a sub and enjoy dom putting them into situations they never tried ? I find most subs once having their boundaries pushes love to try more

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By *LCCCouple
over a year ago

Cambridge

Battleship? Not sure about games, but there are some great sub movies. The Hunt for Red October is my favourite. But then there is U-571 or The Widow Maker. Das Boot is considered a classic, but I'm not much of a fan. Crimson Tide is great, I haven't seen that in ages!

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By *ombull15 OP   Man
over a year ago

essex

See your a movie buff as long as this all keeps you entertained the the main thing sunshine keep smiling lol

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By *wisted2000Woman
over a year ago

under my rock cleethorpes

I like this but it’s hard to come by, usually I’m either not attracted or they lack imagination, or as in a lot of cases they turn out to be fake Doms that think it’s all about hitting, punishments and only getting themselves off

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I like this but it’s hard to come by, usually I’m either not attracted or they lack imagination, or as in a lot of cases they turn out to be fake Doms that think it’s all about hitting, punishments and only getting themselves off "

Yep, most men seem to think they can fill the Dom role. Sadly not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Couldn't think of anything worse tbh

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By *wisted2000Woman
over a year ago

under my rock cleethorpes


"I like this but it’s hard to come by, usually I’m either not attracted or they lack imagination, or as in a lot of cases they turn out to be fake Doms that think it’s all about hitting, punishments and only getting themselves off

Yep, most men seem to think they can fill the Dom role. Sadly not."

Like when they think spanking is just hitting randomly as hard as they can

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I like this but it’s hard to come by, usually I’m either not attracted or they lack imagination, or as in a lot of cases they turn out to be fake Doms that think it’s all about hitting, punishments and only getting themselves off

Yep, most men seem to think they can fill the Dom role. Sadly not.

Like when they think spanking is just hitting randomly as hard as they can "

There's a skill, almost, to it.

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By *wisted2000Woman
over a year ago

under my rock cleethorpes


"I like this but it’s hard to come by, usually I’m either not attracted or they lack imagination, or as in a lot of cases they turn out to be fake Doms that think it’s all about hitting, punishments and only getting themselves off

Yep, most men seem to think they can fill the Dom role. Sadly not.

Like when they think spanking is just hitting randomly as hard as they can

There's a skill, almost, to it."

There are methods to prevent damage and make a decent spanking past longer, I think my record was 8 hours and we had to stop before I was done because his arms were hurting

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By *omis.69Man
over a year ago

Birmingham

So many 50 shaders that potentially spoil it for others.

As said earlier a lot more than a quick slap and suck me !!!

The mind is the largest organ in the body, control that and the rest follows. Add that to some sub care during and after then things should fall into place.

Even though they maybe termed "sub" it's entered into freely and for MUTUAL satisfaction for both parties in which each seek a certain pleasure and satisfaction given by the other.

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills


"I like this but it’s hard to come by, usually I’m either not attracted or they lack imagination, or as in a lot of cases they turn out to be fake Doms that think it’s all about hitting, punishments and only getting themselves off

Yep, most men seem to think they can fill the Dom role. Sadly not.

Like when they think spanking is just hitting randomly as hard as they can

There's a skill, almost, to it."

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By *udistnorthantsMan
over a year ago

Desborough


"So many 50 shaders that potentially spoil it for others.

As said earlier a lot more than a quick slap and suck me !!!

The mind is the largest organ in the body, control that and the rest follows. Add that to some sub care during and after then things should fall into place.

Even though they maybe termed "sub" it's entered into freely and for MUTUAL satisfaction for both parties in which each seek a certain pleasure and satisfaction given by the other. "

This

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By *otForSoftiesWoman
over a year ago

The North / Party Hard Everywhere


"I like this but it’s hard to come by, usually I’m either not attracted or they lack imagination, or as in a lot of cases they turn out to be fake Doms that think it’s all about hitting, punishments and only getting themselves off

Yep, most men seem to think they can fill the Dom role. Sadly not."

Yep way too many DimDoms and ConDoms around who think being rough and selfish is being ‘dom’

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By *omis.69Man
over a year ago

Birmingham


"I like this but it’s hard to come by, usually I’m either not attracted or they lack imagination, or as in a lot of cases they turn out to be fake Doms that think it’s all about hitting, punishments and only getting themselves off

Yep, most men seem to think they can fill the Dom role. Sadly not.

Yep way too many DimDoms and ConDoms around who think being rough and selfish is being ‘dom’ "

DimDoms lol I like that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hear 50 shades was all about pushing boundaries, which is generally considered un-consensual, a dominant man is entirely different to dominating a woman, which is about balance and requires listening amongst other skills natural or attained. I know of many fine experienced and new submissive strong women who search long for a dom, typically this leads some to think sub women outnumber experienced dom's.

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By *oubyLoverWoman
over a year ago

East Yorkshire


"I hear 50 shades was all about pushing boundaries, which is generally considered un-consensual "

I disagree but think it’s just semantics. For me boundaries are there to be pushed, if they’re not they’re considered a hard limit, which shouldn’t be crossed. Always good to have complete clarity of semantics in any D/s dynamic

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By *wisted2000Woman
over a year ago

under my rock cleethorpes

I seem to be attracting the fake subs at the moment too, guys who want me to Domme them then they get confused when I start trying to get to know what they like/want/need, when I ask what their limits are they say none

They just want me to make them cum and that’s all, it’s just as frustrating

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By *ruesome-twosomeCouple
over a year ago

Nottingham


"I like this but it’s hard to come by, usually I’m either not attracted or they lack imagination, or as in a lot of cases they turn out to be fake Doms that think it’s all about hitting, punishments and only getting themselves off

Yep, most men seem to think they can fill the Dom role. Sadly not.

Yep way too many DimDoms and ConDoms around who think being rough and selfish is being ‘dom’ "

Couldn't agree more

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I like this but it’s hard to come by, usually I’m either not attracted or they lack imagination, or as in a lot of cases they turn out to be fake Doms that think it’s all about hitting, punishments and only getting themselves off

Yep, most men seem to think they can fill the Dom role. Sadly not.

Yep way too many DimDoms and ConDoms around who think being rough and selfish is being ‘dom’

Couldn't agree more "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well your experience or desire may differ, but all of my d/s relationships start with the levels of consent hard and soft. As far as I know 50 shades didn't. the concept of semantics doesn't apply to that level of consent, it's more black and white. Naturally pushing subs to their limits can only be done once that is agreed.

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By *ommenhimCouple
over a year ago

wigan

Always the same in d/s posts .... they’re not doing it right.... dim doms, 50 shade, etc.

The d/s side to our relationship has never been measured and there is no guidance nor rules for it to be measured against. What is important is that her d fits with my s.... if the dom wants to be selfish, spank and suck and the sub wants that then great! There is conflict when one wants the loving nurturing and protective side when the other wants ‘abuse’.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit


"Always the same in d/s posts .... they’re not doing it right.... dim doms, 50 shade, etc.

The d/s side to our relationship has never been measured and there is no guidance nor rules for it to be measured against. What is important is that her d fits with my s.... if the dom wants to be selfish, spank and suck and the sub wants that then great! There is conflict when one wants the loving nurturing and protective side when the other wants ‘abuse’.

"

Agree to an extent that there is no "true" definition of what D/s is save that agreed consensually between two (or more) individuals either in a D/s relationship or in a specific scene - and the possibilities within that are infinitesimal.

The trouble is, and this is why threads like this tend to go in the direction they do - is there ARE many out there who don't understand the meaning of safe, sane and consensual and who DO think that to be a Dom all you have to do is order a sub about and they should blindly follow without question.

Yes it's about control and power - but the sub holds as much power as the Dom over when they give their control, just as the Dom does over when to take it - how that manifests itself is down to the individuals concerned and should always be done from an informed position on both sides of the coin.

Sadly it's that word "informed" that is often overlooked either in eagerness to try something new, or blind ignorance that it's a route to getting something that's wanted.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On a personal level, but in the general sense the safe sane handling of a chainsaw and a bdsm session has guides which you might as well call rules, sure no one has to follow them, and their free to consent to anything at all, just not in my yard.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I tend to disagree on the dim dom comments and in terms of the phrase con dom I think it is only applicable if the dom lied about themselves or how they behave.

Putting aside abusers, in my view there is only people that work for someone and those that don't. The fact that someone does not work for you does not make them a dim dom. There are very different styles of domming and subbing and providing everything is consensual and agreed there should not be an issue.

Also these discussions on Fab tend to confuse topping and domming. By the time someone is domming you should be aware of their style. I hasten to add there is of course the position of the abuser who acts one way but when they have your trust abuse you and my comments are not directed to that situation.

I also disagree with the view that the brain is the key thing. The statement is one of the things that trips of certain peoples tongue. However it still would depend on the subs/bottoms requirement. If they are sensation led appealing to the brain is pointless.

To many people try to be rational and egalitarian, certain kinks are not. However no matter what the kink is there should be mutual respect.

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By *omis.69Man
over a year ago

Birmingham

It should be a consensual relationship, with hard boundaries set out initially. If at a later stage through trust, understanding etc then these boundaries are explored maybe pushed then so be it.

But as we all seem to agree, it should be a consensual relationship

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I like this but it’s hard to come by, usually I’m either not attracted or they lack imagination, or as in a lot of cases they turn out to be fake Doms that think it’s all about hitting, punishments and only getting themselves off

Yep, most men seem to think they can fill the Dom role. Sadly not.

Yep way too many DimDoms and ConDoms around who think being rough and selfish is being ‘dom’ "

Some seem to think control starts before you even meet - bless

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By *wisted2000Woman
over a year ago

under my rock cleethorpes


"I tend to disagree on the dim dom comments and in terms of the phrase con dom I think it is only applicable if the dom lied about themselves or how they behave.

Putting aside abusers, in my view there is only people that work for someone and those that don't. The fact that someone does not work for you does not make them a dim dom. There are very different styles of domming and subbing and providing everything is consensual and agreed there should not be an issue.

Also these discussions on Fab tend to confuse topping and domming. By the time someone is domming you should be aware of their style. I hasten to add there is of course the position of the abuser who acts one way but when they have your trust abuse you and my comments are not directed to that situation.

I also disagree with the view that the brain is the key thing. The statement is one of the things that trips of certain peoples tongue. However it still would depend on the subs/bottoms requirement. If they are sensation led appealing to the brain is pointless.

To many people try to be rational and egalitarian, certain kinks are not. However no matter what the kink is there should be mutual respect."

I think what others, and myself included in that, mean by dim doms are people who contact on a site like this with an initial few messages along the line of ‘hey, you’re a sub! I’m on my way, be waiting naked, blindfolded and ready to be tied and beaten the minute I walk in the door then I’ll cho*ke you with my cock before walking out never to see you again and don’t dare reply asking anything about safety measures or asking my experience because then I’ll call you fake because I have never done anything like this before and think winging it will work ‘

we’ve all experienced this at some point unfortunately

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By *wisted2000Woman
over a year ago

under my rock cleethorpes


"I like this but it’s hard to come by, usually I’m either not attracted or they lack imagination, or as in a lot of cases they turn out to be fake Doms that think it’s all about hitting, punishments and only getting themselves off

Yep, most men seem to think they can fill the Dom role. Sadly not.

Yep way too many DimDoms and ConDoms around who think being rough and selfish is being ‘dom’

Some seem to think control starts before you even meet - bless "

It’s kinda cute sometimes, like seeing a puppy trying to bark

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I like this but it’s hard to come by, usually I’m either not attracted or they lack imagination, or as in a lot of cases they turn out to be fake Doms that think it’s all about hitting, punishments and only getting themselves off

Yep, most men seem to think they can fill the Dom role. Sadly not.

Yep way too many DimDoms and ConDoms around who think being rough and selfish is being ‘dom’

Some seem to think control starts before you even meet - bless

It’s kinda cute sometimes, like seeing a puppy trying to bark "

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By *oubyLoverWoman
over a year ago

East Yorkshire


"I tend to disagree on the dim dom comments and in terms of the phrase con dom I think it is only applicable if the dom lied about themselves or how they behave.

Putting aside abusers, in my view there is only people that work for someone and those that don't. The fact that someone does not work for you does not make them a dim dom. There are very different styles of domming and subbing and providing everything is consensual and agreed there should not be an issue.

Also these discussions on Fab tend to confuse topping and domming. By the time someone is domming you should be aware of their style. I hasten to add there is of course the position of the abuser who acts one way but when they have your trust abuse you and my comments are not directed to that situation.

I also disagree with the view that the brain is the key thing. The statement is one of the things that trips of certain peoples tongue. However it still would depend on the subs/bottoms requirement. If they are sensation led appealing to the brain is pointless.

To many people try to be rational and egalitarian, certain kinks are not. However no matter what the kink is there should be mutual respect.

I think what others, and myself included in that, mean by dim doms are people who contact on a site like this with an initial few messages along the line of ‘hey, you’re a sub! I’m on my way, be waiting naked, blindfolded and ready to be tied and beaten the minute I walk in the door then I’ll cho*ke you with my cock before walking out never to see you again and don’t dare reply asking anything about safety measures or asking my experience because then I’ll call you fake because I have never done anything like this before and think winging it will work ‘

we’ve all experienced this at some point unfortunately "

But then the puppy trying to bark...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've always known I was a sub, in real life I'm so bossy and in a position of authority, so with sex I live being able to be the opposite. It's hard explaining what being a dom is, I like some pain but not just for the pain. I agree it is very much psychological, I want someone to enjoy me and see what they can make my body do. I want someone to bridge the barrier between pleasure and pain because they've turned me on that much, not someone to beat me with a stick until I'm black and blue.

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By *wisted2000Woman
over a year ago

under my rock cleethorpes


"I tend to disagree on the dim dom comments and in terms of the phrase con dom I think it is only applicable if the dom lied about themselves or how they behave.

Putting aside abusers, in my view there is only people that work for someone and those that don't. The fact that someone does not work for you does not make them a dim dom. There are very different styles of domming and subbing and providing everything is consensual and agreed there should not be an issue.

Also these discussions on Fab tend to confuse topping and domming. By the time someone is domming you should be aware of their style. I hasten to add there is of course the position of the abuser who acts one way but when they have your trust abuse you and my comments are not directed to that situation.

I also disagree with the view that the brain is the key thing. The statement is one of the things that trips of certain peoples tongue. However it still would depend on the subs/bottoms requirement. If they are sensation led appealing to the brain is pointless.

To many people try to be rational and egalitarian, certain kinks are not. However no matter what the kink is there should be mutual respect.

I think what others, and myself included in that, mean by dim doms are people who contact on a site like this with an initial few messages along the line of ‘hey, you’re a sub! I’m on my way, be waiting naked, blindfolded and ready to be tied and beaten the minute I walk in the door then I’ll cho*ke you with my cock before walking out never to see you again and don’t dare reply asking anything about safety measures or asking my experience because then I’ll call you fake because I have never done anything like this before and think winging it will work ‘

we’ve all experienced this at some point unfortunately

But then the puppy trying to bark... "

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL


"I like this but it’s hard to come by, usually I’m either not attracted or they lack imagination, or as in a lot of cases they turn out to be fake Doms that think it’s all about hitting, punishments and only getting themselves off

Yep, most men seem to think they can fill the Dom role. Sadly not.

Yep way too many DimDoms and ConDoms around who think being rough and selfish is being ‘dom’ "
what's a ConDom then?

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By *otForSoftiesWoman
over a year ago

The North / Party Hard Everywhere


"I like this but it’s hard to come by, usually I’m either not attracted or they lack imagination, or as in a lot of cases they turn out to be fake Doms that think it’s all about hitting, punishments and only getting themselves off

Yep, most men seem to think they can fill the Dom role. Sadly not.

Yep way too many DimDoms and ConDoms around who think being rough and selfish is being ‘dom’ what's a ConDom then? "

Doms who are a con

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I tend to disagree on the dim dom comments and in terms of the phrase con dom I think it is only applicable if the dom lied about themselves or how they behave.

Putting aside abusers, in my view there is only people that work for someone and those that don't. The fact that someone does not work for you does not make them a dim dom. There are very different styles of domming and subbing and providing everything is consensual and agreed there should not be an issue.

Also these discussions on Fab tend to confuse topping and domming. By the time someone is domming you should be aware of their style. I hasten to add there is of course the position of the abuser who acts one way but when they have your trust abuse you and my comments are not directed to that situation.

I also disagree with the view that the brain is the key thing. The statement is one of the things that trips of certain peoples tongue. However it still would depend on the subs/bottoms requirement. If they are sensation led appealing to the brain is pointless.

To many people try to be rational and egalitarian, certain kinks are not. However no matter what the kink is there should be mutual respect.

I think what others, and myself included in that, mean by dim doms are people who contact on a site like this with an initial few messages along the line of ‘hey, you’re a sub! I’m on my way, be waiting naked, blindfolded and ready to be tied and beaten the minute I walk in the door then I’ll cho*ke you with my cock before walking out never to see you again and don’t dare reply asking anything about safety measures or asking my experience because then I’ll call you fake because I have never done anything like this before and think winging it will work ‘

we’ve all experienced this at some point unfortunately "

Thank you for the explanation.

I can understand the annoyance and eyes rolling in receiving a message like that, but does the sender actually merit applying the term 'dom' to them? Dim dom makes me think of the phrase:

'Tim, awfully nice but dim'. That is someone who thinks you have pet because they saw a coller and leash. Whereas in regard to senders of such messages 'f#cking rude chancer' would be more appropriate.

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By *oubyLoverWoman
over a year ago

East Yorkshire


"I tend to disagree on the dim dom comments and in terms of the phrase con dom I think it is only applicable if the dom lied about themselves or how they behave.

Putting aside abusers, in my view there is only people that work for someone and those that don't. The fact that someone does not work for you does not make them a dim dom. There are very different styles of domming and subbing and providing everything is consensual and agreed there should not be an issue.

Also these discussions on Fab tend to confuse topping and domming. By the time someone is domming you should be aware of their style. I hasten to add there is of course the position of the abuser who acts one way but when they have your trust abuse you and my comments are not directed to that situation.

I also disagree with the view that the brain is the key thing. The statement is one of the things that trips of certain peoples tongue. However it still would depend on the subs/bottoms requirement. If they are sensation led appealing to the brain is pointless.

To many people try to be rational and egalitarian, certain kinks are not. However no matter what the kink is there should be mutual respect.

I think what others, and myself included in that, mean by dim doms are people who contact on a site like this with an initial few messages along the line of ‘hey, you’re a sub! I’m on my way, be waiting naked, blindfolded and ready to be tied and beaten the minute I walk in the door then I’ll cho*ke you with my cock before walking out never to see you again and don’t dare reply asking anything about safety measures or asking my experience because then I’ll call you fake because I have never done anything like this before and think winging it will work ‘

we’ve all experienced this at some point unfortunately

Thank you for the explanation.

I can understand the annoyance and eyes rolling in receiving a message like that, but does the sender actually merit applying the term 'dom' to them? Dim dom makes me think of the phrase:

'Tim, awfully nice but dim'. That is someone who thinks you have pet because they saw a coller and leash. Whereas in regard to senders of such messages 'f#cking rude chancer' would be more appropriate.

"

The sender doesn’t merit the term at all but the message from them invariably include the phrase ‘I’m dom’ hence the

'f#cking rude chancer' does ineeed seem to be more appropriate

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By *wisted2000Woman
over a year ago

under my rock cleethorpes


"I tend to disagree on the dim dom comments and in terms of the phrase con dom I think it is only applicable if the dom lied about themselves or how they behave.

Putting aside abusers, in my view there is only people that work for someone and those that don't. The fact that someone does not work for you does not make them a dim dom. There are very different styles of domming and subbing and providing everything is consensual and agreed there should not be an issue.

Also these discussions on Fab tend to confuse topping and domming. By the time someone is domming you should be aware of their style. I hasten to add there is of course the position of the abuser who acts one way but when they have your trust abuse you and my comments are not directed to that situation.

I also disagree with the view that the brain is the key thing. The statement is one of the things that trips of certain peoples tongue. However it still would depend on the subs/bottoms requirement. If they are sensation led appealing to the brain is pointless.

To many people try to be rational and egalitarian, certain kinks are not. However no matter what the kink is there should be mutual respect.

I think what others, and myself included in that, mean by dim doms are people who contact on a site like this with an initial few messages along the line of ‘hey, you’re a sub! I’m on my way, be waiting naked, blindfolded and ready to be tied and beaten the minute I walk in the door then I’ll cho*ke you with my cock before walking out never to see you again and don’t dare reply asking anything about safety measures or asking my experience because then I’ll call you fake because I have never done anything like this before and think winging it will work ‘

we’ve all experienced this at some point unfortunately

Thank you for the explanation.

I can understand the annoyance and eyes rolling in receiving a message like that, but does the sender actually merit applying the term 'dom' to them? Dim dom makes me think of the phrase:

'Tim, awfully nice but dim'. That is someone who thinks you have pet because they saw a coller and leash. Whereas in regard to senders of such messages 'f#cking rude chancer' would be more appropriate.

The sender doesn’t merit the term at all but the message from them invariably include the phrase ‘I’m dom’ hence the

'f#cking rude chancer' does ineeed seem to be more appropriate "

I agree f#cking rude chancer maybe is appropriate but it also doesn’t describe why, dim Dom is more commonly known so it gives more of a jist during conversations, also when they think that can fool others into believing they’re Doms when they’re obviously not does imply dimness so that seems appropriate too, stuff it, let’s just use either

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I tend to disagree on the dim dom comments and in terms of the phrase con dom I think it is only applicable if the dom lied about themselves or how they behave.

Putting aside abusers, in my view there is only people that work for someone and those that don't. The fact that someone does not work for you does not make them a dim dom. There are very different styles of domming and subbing and providing everything is consensual and agreed there should not be an issue.

Also these discussions on Fab tend to confuse topping and domming. By the time someone is domming you should be aware of their style. I hasten to add there is of course the position of the abuser who acts one way but when they have your trust abuse you and my comments are not directed to that situation.

I also disagree with the view that the brain is the key thing. The statement is one of the things that trips of certain peoples tongue. However it still would depend on the subs/bottoms requirement. If they are sensation led appealing to the brain is pointless.

To many people try to be rational and egalitarian, certain kinks are not. However no matter what the kink is there should be mutual respect.

I think what others, and myself included in that, mean by dim doms are people who contact on a site like this with an initial few messages along the line of ‘hey, you’re a sub! I’m on my way, be waiting naked, blindfolded and ready to be tied and beaten the minute I walk in the door then I’ll cho*ke you with my cock before walking out never to see you again and don’t dare reply asking anything about safety measures or asking my experience because then I’ll call you fake because I have never done anything like this before and think winging it will work ‘

we’ve all experienced this at some point unfortunately

Thank you for the explanation.

I can understand the annoyance and eyes rolling in receiving a message like that, but does the sender actually merit applying the term 'dom' to them? Dim dom makes me think of the phrase:

'Tim, awfully nice but dim'. That is someone who thinks you have pet because they saw a coller and leash. Whereas in regard to senders of such messages 'f#cking rude chancer' would be more appropriate.

The sender doesn’t merit the term at all but the message from them invariably include the phrase ‘I’m dom’ hence the

'f#cking rude chancer' does ineeed seem to be more appropriate

I agree f#cking rude chancer maybe is appropriate but it also doesn’t describe why, dim Dom is more commonly known so it gives more of a jist during conversations, also when they think that can fool others into believing they’re Doms when they’re obviously not does imply dimness so that seems appropriate too, stuff it, let’s just use either "

Sounds a plan, although now that I understand 'dim dom' I have to concede to its prior use which gives it precedence, but with the sickening realisation that there is a premier league of stupidity out there.

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By *AM2214Man
over a year ago

Manchester Area


"Always the same in d/s posts .... they’re not doing it right.... dim doms, 50 shade, etc.

The d/s side to our relationship has never been measured and there is no guidance nor rules for it to be measured against. What is important is that her d fits with my s.... if the dom wants to be selfish, spank and suck and the sub wants that then great! There is conflict when one wants the loving nurturing and protective side when the other wants ‘abuse’.

Agree to an extent that there is no "true" definition of what D/s is save that agreed consensually between two (or more) individuals either in a D/s relationship or in a specific scene - and the possibilities within that are infinitesimal.

The trouble is, and this is why threads like this tend to go in the direction they do - is there ARE many out there who don't understand the meaning of safe, sane and consensual and who DO think that to be a Dom all you have to do is order a sub about and they should blindly follow without question.

Yes it's about control and power - but the sub holds as much power as the Dom over when they give their control, just as the Dom does over when to take it - how that manifests itself is down to the individuals concerned and should always be done from an informed position on both sides of the coin.

Sadly it's that word "informed" that is often overlooked either in eagerness to try something new, or blind ignorance that it's a route to getting something that's wanted."

Ive alwyas thought its the sub who holds the power to Dom is to u derstand the needs of the sub and apply and push ..taking intelligence and empathy not brawn and bruising ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would suggest the ability to decide what happens to your body or emotions should be a universal right and not the sub being in control of the relationship. As a number of contributors have said the relationship is one of mutuality. You can describe it in a number of ways but at the simplest level the sub and the dom agree to a particular kind of relationship. Either at any point can decide the dynamic of the relationship does not work for them and can walk away.

Some relationships are cerebral others are physical, personally I am not one to say what a true 'D/S' relationship looks like as each is individual. Some relationships are based on beatings others on rigid control of behaviour. It is a matter of what floats the individuals' boats.

I am generally against pushing subs, I believe it is case of helping the sub explore a particular direction or intensity which I am interested in and which the sub has a desire to explore.

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