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Post Meet Downer

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

When I/we first started meeting I found the come down after a fantastic meet quite difficult to deal with and almost stopped me doing it - almost.

That adrenaline and excitement, after planning and discussing it for a while and then having an amazing few hours of fun, plummets leaving me a bit lost.

First 3sum in a couple of years and it was amazing - been smiling my head off all day but I feel like that low is just around the corner.

Anyone else experience this and if so how do you minimize it ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The come down is quite normal for a lot of people who swing, us included. After all the excitement and the adrenaline rush, it's what naturally happens. We just go easy on ourselves as we know it will pass, and we look forward to planning our next adventure.

Try doing something that you enjoy (other than sex) to distract yourself until the feeling passes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It can be hard, I get it too, recognising what it is, and distracting yourself are important.

Give yourself a day to 'mope', pamper yourself, then plan your next mischief

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By *inful xWoman
over a year ago

In a sleepy little village


"It can be hard, I get it too, recognising what it is, and distracting yourself are important.

Give yourself a day to 'mope', pamper yourself, then plan your next mischief"

This

I do have a low after a meet , sometimes just a couple of hours , sometimes a couple of days. Just be kind to yourself after and it will pass

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good advice from all above, ive suffered this too, with a little guilt or dissecting the meet.

As others have said, it's ok and perfectly normal to feel this way, and I think going easy and taking care of yourself is a good way to deal with it.

My other half has said he has felt the same, especially after playing with couples.

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By *wisted2000Woman
over a year ago

under my rock cleethorpes

It sounds like you’re having what I call subdrop, it’s a bdsm term and can be caused by lack of aftercare, when you’ve finished playing try all having some chill time, snuggles and giggles before parting company

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By *ampWithABrainWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

Pesky hormones work in both directions unfortunately.

Recognise it, accept it, be kind to yourself and the body self corrects.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"It sounds like you’re having what I call subdrop, it’s a bdsm term and can be caused by lack of aftercare, when you’ve finished playing try all having some chill time, snuggles and giggles before parting company "

Maybe that's it. It's was quite late and we had to leave quite quickly - not a usual situation. I love to cuddle afterwards. What a girl!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It does not seem to happen so much if you have met the same one several times , and know there will be another time when we are going to meet up . I find talking about general things to them helps come off that high , and yes get busy doing things , not sexual .

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By *uckslut and MCouple
over a year ago

Poole


"It sounds like you’re having what I call subdrop, it’s a bdsm term and can be caused by lack of aftercare, when you’ve finished playing try all having some chill time, snuggles and giggles before parting company

Maybe that's it. It's was quite late and we had to leave quite quickly - not a usual situation. I love to cuddle afterwards. What a girl! "

This was exactly what I was gonna say. Sub drop, and there is such a thing as Top drop too. I've had it twice after Bdsm play. Although mine hits few days later. AFTERCARE is key. Being awear this can happen is a massive step forward. Take time for yourself. Reward yourself, hot bath, watch tv, choocies ect. Eating and drinking well the day before the meet too. I'm talking your 5 a day and water. Not Burgar king and wine.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's times like this that I love the forumites. I didn't realise this even had a name! Makes a lot of sense

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By *xtrafun4youMan
over a year ago

Dunstable


"It can be hard, I get it too, recognising what it is, and distracting yourself are important.

Give yourself a day to 'mope', pamper yourself, then plan your next mischief"
to every up there is a down, totally normal,

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By *addiesgirl84Woman
over a year ago

liverpool

I get off being used so in a way crave the crash too if that makes sense...

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I get off being used so in a way crave the crash too if that makes sense..."

God no I hate it. Each to thier own and it would be a lot better if I did !

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By *wisted2000Woman
over a year ago

under my rock cleethorpes

http://bdsmwiki.info/Drop

Maybe this will help give some ideas on how to help and help explain what you might have

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just experience the Lows.... meets for me are very few and far between

Pxx

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"It does not seem to happen so much if you have met the same one several times , and know there will be another time when we are going to meet up . I find talking about general things to them helps come off that high , and yes get busy doing things , not sexual ."

This for me.

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By *uckslut and MCouple
over a year ago

Poole


"It's times like this that I love the forumites. I didn't realise this even had a name! Makes a lot of sense "

It's refreshing a thread like this, yiu can learn stuff. Rather than the girth or width questions.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's the same for me but I feel more comfortable meeting same person cos I know what am getting .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Been reading forums for a while now and not had the guts too post.... but I can’t help but reply too this! So grateful for OP posting this! Has helped me understand my feelings so much!! X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It is the same with any high...comedown is a bitch!

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By *D835Man
over a year ago

London

Interesting thread.

I just wonder whether the subdrop effect is gender related since most of the responses have come from women.

I don't experience it personally, but then I have repeat meets from my regular FB/FWB. So I know my next meet is just a few days away, and I can focus on that rather than feeling low over the previous meet.

So does regular / repeat meets diffuse the subdrop effect?

Maybe, but maybe not. Will be interesting to know what causes it and how to counter it.

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

Thankfully this is not something I experience, I get the high after and it gradually fades but by then I've moved on to arranging the next thing anyway. There's no massive come down for me

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By *efinitely MaybeCouple
over a year ago

Wakefield

This is a really interesting thread for me.

We were active for a couple of years, then we stopped, or should I say paused, to extend our family with the intention of returning in the future.

What followed was worse than a drop, the bottom fell out. L felt full of regret and ashamed of what we had done. We weathered that storm and are back considering a return, but that's with some trepidation.

Was this our drop???

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By *orwegian BlueMan
over a year ago

Iceland, but Aldi is closer..

It's normal for anyone that immerses themselves into a situation where your levels of stress increase..

You get the high from the rush of adrenaline prior to and during the meet and your body floods itself with cortisol which gives you the downer when the adrenaline reserve depletes..

Try to eat slow energy release foods, ones with a low gi, to avoid yoyo feelings. Avoid sugary and fatty foods which feel great at the time but cause the peak and trough feelings.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get sub drop after an intense session .... sometimes it hits quick and hard. I've found that the best thing for me is lots of cuddles and reassurance from my Dom plus a drink and sometimes something to eat. I come round after a while.

It's worth the low for the highs I get

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By *aisyDDWoman
over a year ago

North West

Aww I knew my Dom was a good egg. I sometimes get the downs after regular meets but I’ve not had subdrop after a meet with my Dom. He’s the nicest guy ever. Always takes great care of me after treating me so badly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's times like this that I love the forumites. I didn't realise this even had a name! Makes a lot of sense "

I learned about it from the forums. I used to feel really crap afterwards and didn't know why. Being ready for it made it loads easier.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know with me I do not really think feel anything after a meet is finished other than it was fun at the time . I just switch back to my real life mode of general stuff. Fun is complete onwards .

Out of sight, out of mind with me I guess. Once the meet has departed It is finished .

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By *entleman JayMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

This is a phenomenon not exclusive to ladies. After the high is always going to be a low. I’m a bit different because my meets aren’t rushed or wham bamm so perhaps it would be even worse if they were.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've certainly experienced this through the BDSM scene and I had a big drop after months of swinging initially. Now I'm much more aware and as others have said, aftercare is key! X

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