FabSwingers.com forum: Sharing but then disrespected

By *urreySunSeekers OP Couple
over a year ago

Camberley

We would be interested in opinions on this. My wife enjoys playing with single guys and we may do this with as mmf and if comfortable she may meet guys on their own. As hubby I am happy with this. We will normally start after intros on Fab using WhatsApp to have a group chat where all 3 of us can see and contribute to the chat. But do you think it is ok for the guy to then contact my wife direct even though he has been told by wife and I that contact should only be on WhatsApp? Do you think that is disrespectful?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it is disrespectful, I also don't think many single men 'get it'. They're here just for a shag. As long as they get a bit of foof they don't care.

I think a lot actually dislike the husband and either see them as an embuggerance or out and out look down on them. They tr to speak directly to the female to cut the man out altogether.

I imagine many single guys wouldn't let any partner of theirs have sex with other guys.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Yes

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By *layfulcoupleCouple
over a year ago

a kinky mood

Yes it is. To us it means they aren't interested in the actual mmf , they just want your wife. I would move on from them and find someone else

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By *uzz And WoodyCouple
over a year ago

Maidstone

I wouldn’t be happy at all. He’s making a fool out of you. I would block and move on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I see it that the guys think the husband would say no to future meets, and so is trying to undercut him by going direct to the wife.

Sneaky little feckers in my opinion.

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

"We would be interested in opinions on this. My wife enjoys playing with single guys and we may do this with as mmf and if comfortable she may meet guys on their own. As hubby I am happy with this. We will normally start after intros on Fab using WhatsApp to have a group chat where all 3 of us can see and contribute to the chat. But do you think it is ok for the guy to then contact my wife direct even though he has been told by wife and I that contact should only be on WhatsApp? Do you think that is disrespectful?"

Unfortunately par for the course.

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

Yes it is

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yep completely disrespectful. The key to a good three some is every one knowing the boundaries at the very start. From messaging through to play. If the guy crosses a boundary, he has no respect for the dynamics that a three some involves and what the couple want. When being the person joining a three some, you need to realise that you are becoming a part of their relationship, if only for one night. I would avoid any one that puts their own horny desires above the respect of your relationship. Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Very disrespectful

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I completely agree and couldn’t have put it better myself . I would move on and forget about him plenty more guys out there that are more respectful xx

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

Yes of course is it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Forget any guy that does this,NO EXCUSE for this ,an mmf is what it says three people enjoying sex .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

absolutely disrespectful yes

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By *illyjohnyCouple
over a year ago

brighton

Tell him to fucking do one

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By *urreySunSeekers OP Couple
over a year ago

Camberley

Thank you everyone. We just wanted to hear others thoughts and it is clear!

His loss not ours

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think it is disrespectful, I also don't think many single men 'get it'. They're here just for a shag. As long as they get a bit of foof they don't care.

I think a lot actually dislike the husband and either see them as an embuggerance or out and out look down on them. They tr to speak directly to the female to cut the man out altogether.

I imagine many single guys wouldn't let any partner of theirs have sex with other guys."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think it is disrespectful, I also don't think many single men 'get it'. They're here just for a shag. As long as they get a bit of foof they don't care.

I think a lot actually dislike the husband and either see them as an embuggerance or out and out look down on them. They tr to speak directly to the female to cut the man out altogether.

I imagine many single guys wouldn't let any partner of theirs have sex with other guys."

And that is such a typical holier than thou couples assessment. Some of us single guys are honest and respectful. Equally some couples meet your description of single guys!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Definitely not on at this early stage. It’s very much a 3 way thing and everyone should be involved. If he wants to flirt with your wife then it should be on the WhatsApp group so you can see it and enjoy it. I meet with a couple on a regular basis and the hubby encourages me to txt his wife directly but we have been having a MMF for 2 years. I always txt him as well telling him what I want to do to his wife. He loves it of course.

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By *reokinkMan
over a year ago

London

You are the couple in the relationship so you set the rules. Back when I was a single swinger I always respected whatever rules were set by the couple. If they didn't sit well with me I'd move on.

As a couple we too have that rule. Unless one of us already knew that male/female all communication is done out in the open. I remember one woman who kept contacting me privately in Whatsapp. I was clear about the rules but after the second rule breach I had to break contact. My cock was in mourning but our relationship comes first.

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By *oreverHorny69Man
over a year ago

Milnrow

Very disrespectful I would never do this and always respect another people’s wishes.

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

"Definitely not on at this early stage. It’s very much a 3 way thing and everyone should be involved. If he wants to flirt with your wife then it should be on the WhatsApp group so you can see it and enjoy it. I meet with a couple on a regular basis and the hubby encourages me to txt his wife directly but we have been having a MMF for 2 years. I always txt him as well telling him what I want to do to his wife. He loves it of course."

Sounds perfect.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Totally....the single guy should always be respectful of what the couples wishes are. Had the same recently. I have a 3some profile with a couple i see. The male half of the couple got back to us all but rhen proceedes to ask the lovely lady if she played alone blah blah. Disprecting both males!!

So it is not just singles who play this game.

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By *xtrafun4youMan
over a year ago

Dunstable

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It is bang out of order.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

DEFINITELY think it's disrespectful. Something I wouldn't do. I had a similar scenario a month or so back...but kept everything above board and in agreed limits and boundaries. Then just as we arranged to meet they blocked and disappeared. So strange behavior sometimes goes both ways. But single guys get a bad name for such behavior behavior.

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By *eavenscentitCouple
over a year ago

barnstaple

Yes....men continue to ask to meet me alone. I always say we play together. Ms

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For any successful MMF relationship, the single guys relationship with the hubby is just as important as that with the wife, even if it’s just shooting the shit about football and life before you start fucking his wife.

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

"For any successful MMF relationship, the single guys relationship with the hubby is just as important as that with the wife, even if it’s just shooting the shit about football and life before you start fucking his wife. "

Exactly. The easiest way to ruin the swinging dynamic is to make the husband feel isolated or excluded.

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By *otts PervMan
over a year ago

nottingham

My partner and I have had this happen numerous times

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By *ELLONS AND CREAMWoman
over a year ago

stourbridge area

Yes .... if you have set rules ....

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By *anrteeCouple
over a year ago

London

It certainly is disrespectful, if you agree the rules and then he ignores them you should give him the boot.

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By *ast_jjMan
over a year ago

Dublin and London

Of course it's disrespectful. You have set out what's allowable and what way you want things to progress. That's non negotiable in my book.

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By *reamweaversCouple
over a year ago

Manchester

Totally disrespectful. There is no need to do it as you are openly sharing her. Mrs DW would delete and block a guy for doing that.....so their loss

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By *ast_jjMan
over a year ago

Dublin and London

Totally disrespectful. There is no need to do it as you are openly sharing her. Mrs DW would delete and block a guy for doing that.....so their loss"
That's exactly what the block button is for.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes totally.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

boundaries overstepped and very disrespectful

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He's broken the trust between the three of you and this is definitely disrespectful and you have to quesion his motives.

I enjoy the dynamic of the husband joining in or just reading and being a part of the chat. It's a turn on knowing hubby is enjoying watching our chat.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

as the woman i wouldnt trust the single fella - hes obviously not bothered about the set up as is and thinking with cock not brain - if he thought beforehand he will have managed to get the meet he craved - some rules are not for breaking

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By *iredhandMan
over a year ago

Manchester

As already mentioned this guy sounds like he participated in MFM just to get a shag rather than actually enjoying the eroticism of having somebody share their wife with him. Unfortunately fab seems to be becoming another casual sex site rather than the swinging site it started out as.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This has happened to us more than once!

So much so that we have put it on our profile!

We find it highly disrespectful

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That would be his one chance used up for us.

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By *ifty grades of shadyCouple
over a year ago

Carisbrooke, Isle of Wight

This is exactly why we won't do the single guy thing either, not outside of a club setting.

Why would they think shitting in their own nest is ok? They've got a relationship going why spoil it? As much as it must pain the bloke to see the womans partner getting it on tap, does he really think that the time and the investment the couple have in each other is going to change because he's had a bit of fun with THEM, the couple will in most cases will get off on having the third person there, not particularly THAT third person.

The other point is that couples talk to each other too. So in breaking this trust, that guy is also potentially closing down a networking opportunity as couple "A" will say to couple "B" that this individual can't be trusted to stick to the rules....

On the other hand, if they do behave, then as a well thought of person, their currency as trustworthy and being a friend may open opportunities that come with behaving and doing the right thing.

Just our take...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes it is. To us it means they aren't interested in the actual mmf , they just want your wife. I would move on from them and find someone else"

Totally agree. We've had this several times where at the last minute a guy has turned round to rachel and said "oh, I thought you were coming on your own." Reply is always NO.

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By *is vixen at playCouple
over a year ago

Dundee

We do a similar thing with kik, but if start to try contact her on own even via her single profile it a instant no and they binned. We doing this together for us not for them.

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By *linyMan
over a year ago

Manchester/London

Disrespectful definitely. A couple should be treated as a couple UNLESS agreed by everyone.

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By *otts72Man
over a year ago

London

"Disrespectful definitely. A couple should be treated as a couple UNLESS agreed by everyone. "

Here here

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By *estmidscoupleCouple
over a year ago

West Midlands

Hugely disrespectful. in a group session of multiple guys with Slim one of guys turned to me and said “fucking hell mate , I wouldn’t let my mrs do this!”. We stopped and asked him to leave. Also had a guy try to give her his number when I was paying a visit.

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By *he Queen of TartsWoman
Forum Mod
over a year ago

My Own Little World

Yes.

I instantly stop communicating with the guy if he tries that shit, no matter how interested I may be in meeting him. If he can't respect a simple thing like that then how sure can I be that he will respect my wishes in the bedroom.

But it isn't just in messages that they try to ignore the hubby, I have had them ignore my husband when he is standing next to me in a club, try to manoeuvre him out of the way by attempting to stand between us with his back to him.

An instant turn off.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How did he contact her x

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By *urreySunSeekers OP Couple
over a year ago

Camberley

"How did he contact her x"

Via text message and phone calls

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By *hoenixcouplexxCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

Don't use whatsapp that requires phone numbers.

Use kik and then in the event that happens you just block him on kik and here and he has no other means of contact.

Use it as another filter. It will happen. We don't have it with single guys but it's happen more than once with guys and ladies from couples. Wanting to meet one or other of us on our own, we learnt from it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How did he contact her x

Via text message and phone calls"

But disrespectful of the wife giving him her phone number x

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By *hoenixcouplexxCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

"How did he contact her x

Via text message and phone calls

But disrespectful of the wife giving him her phone number x"

They were all using WhatsApp.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we had this with a couple we were getting to know,a group whatsapp chat,was going ok but the guy saw himself as king dom showing little respect to both alice and his own partner so we decided to end the chat and take it no further.

the guy then contacted alice on facebook, which he had found through the connection between f...book and whatsapp. lesson learnt for us.

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By *reokinkMan
over a year ago

London

"Hugely disrespectful. in a group session of multiple guys with Slim one of guys turned to me and said “fucking hell mate , I wouldn’t let my mrs do this!”. We stopped and asked him to leave. Also had a guy try to give her his number when I was paying a visit. "

Good for you. He didn't have the mind of a swinger and we never knowingly play with single guys when they have that mindset.

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By *ringles0510Woman
over a year ago

Central Borders

If they already don't honour what you ask for before you meet, definitely don't meet them x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How did he contact her x

Via text message and phone calls

But disrespectful of the wife giving him her phone number x

They were all using WhatsApp."

Surely the hubby would have seen the messages then or am I being thick lol x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How did he contact her x

Via text message and phone calls

But disrespectful of the wife giving him her phone number x

They were all using WhatsApp.

Surely the hubby would have seen the messages then or am I being thick lol x"

the guy would have looked at the fems details, including her number and contacted her privately

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By *hoenixcouplexxCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

"How did he contact her x

Via text message and phone calls

But disrespectful of the wife giving him her phone number x

They were all using WhatsApp.

Surely the hubby would have seen the messages then or am I being thick lol x"

To use whatsapp you need to exchange phone numbers.

So that opens up individual messages on whatsapp and txt's/phone calls. A lot if phone numbers are also linked to Facebook.

You can easily msg outside of any group conversation and msg any individual within it. It also opens up a lot of other methods of contact. Facebook messenger for example.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How did he contact her x

Via text message and phone calls

But disrespectful of the wife giving him her phone number x

They were all using WhatsApp.

Surely the hubby would have seen the messages then or am I being thick lol x

the guy would have looked at the fems details, including her number and contacted her privately"

Ah right ok. Then yeah he's a dick x

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By *ntnCleoCouple
over a year ago

Dortmund (Germany) might travel!

Any breach of your rules as a couple is disrespectful and you should block and move on. No second chances. He clearly doesn’t get why you’re doing this. Probably got it in your head that secretly your wife wants a “real man”.

Simple is as simple thinks.

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By *urreySunSeekers OP Couple
over a year ago

Camberley

No we are pretty trusting and sharing her number for us to then use WhatsApp group chat was a conscious decision.

If the male then abuses that trust by messaging when told not to it is pretty clear that there is no trust of them.

By doing this early it shows they cannot be trusted with those simple contact rules therefore the bigger issue of whether you are happy to trust them to play with your wife in bed actually becomes easier.

Thank you to everyone’s comments they are appreciated. Our friends list is now 1 less!!

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