FabSwingers.com forum: What do you expect from a social meet?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

We're finding it increasingly prevalent, that when we suggest a social meet to a guy or couple we've been talking to, they reply with an assumption that we'll be having fun straight after the social. Are we being naive, is this most people's expectations?

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By *ambslass48Woman
over a year ago

Peterborough

I always make it clear it's only a social no play first meet. If they can't accept that then i don't meet them. It's always your choice

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By *tace 309TV/TS
over a year ago

durham

Social only first meet means exactly that. nothing else with me . my rules like it or lump it

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Make it absolutely clear from the start that its social only. We have that on our profile and when we agree a meet we state it again just in case the person hasn't read it...unlikely I know

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We're finding it increasingly prevalent, that when we suggest a social meet to a guy or couple we've been talking to, they reply with an assumption that we'll be having fun straight after the social. Are we being naive, is this most people's expectations?"

I always have social without play, it says so on my profile. If they don't want that I don't meet. Simple x

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By *uicy72Woman
over a year ago

North Colchester

100% just social

I’ve had this problem in the past and it’s not happening!

I clearly say jusy a social coffee and they still think it’s coffee then play !

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Make it absolutely clear from the start that its social only. We have that on our profile and when we agree a meet we state it again just in case the person hasn't read it...unlikely I know

We do make it clear, and then its either "wait until i get a drink in you" (delete and block) or they go very quiet. We love the social side of swinging, we're still finding our way with it all

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By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

We like a social if meeting but not in a club environment.

Gives us a chance to see if the others are for us and are on the same page.

We had one on Saturday night and didn't realise that there were 4 people off Fab in the pub until we got messages later when we got home.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Make it absolutely clear from the start that its social only. We have that on our profile and when we agree a meet we state it again just in case the person hasn't read it...unlikely I know

We do make it clear, and then its either "wait until i get a drink in you" (delete and block) or they go very quiet. We love the social side of swinging, we're still finding our way with it all"

We love the social side too. It could be that we're quite a bit older than you and possibly our meets will be but we don't have too much of a problem. Only one guy ever overstepped the mark and several have asked to socialise with us again, although thats probably to get out of having to have a play meet

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By *andJane17Couple
over a year ago

York

We make it clear in our first couple of messages that it's a social without play, no expectations made or wanted.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My expectation is that a social is exactly that....a social. Don't expect play straight after a social.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's all about setting expectations, and most of the posters so far seem to be doing just that. 'Social only' means social only. 'Social to start with' has scope for more if everyone agrees. There needs to be a bail out option, especially so for the ladies.

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

Fun, a laugh, bit of connection.

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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

We expect to meet people and see if there's an attraction we'd like to explore further. If so we arrange to meet again.

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By *corpio67Man
over a year ago

hillingdon

Absolutely safety first!!!

I booked a hotel about 3 years ago after a couple said they wanted to meet.

They arrived in the afternoon.

We spent 3 hours chatting over coffee and bookies.

They actually turned up that evening and we had a great night.

They are still friends and we keep in touch.

I'm actually going to see them for a meal and a Xmas drink and it's a 100 mile drive!

So rock on!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I always make it clear it's only a social no play first meet. If they can't accept that then i don't meet them. It's always your choice"

Same as this.

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By *corpio67Man
over a year ago

hillingdon

Absolutely safety first!!!

I booked a hotel about 3 years ago after a couple said they wanted to meet.

They arrived in the afternoon.

We spent 3 hours chatting over coffee and bickies!.

They actually turned up that evening and we had a great night.

They are still friends and we keep in touch.

I'm actually going to see them for a meal and a Xmas drink and it's a 100 mile drive!

So rock on!

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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

I go on a social with no particular expectations, and I believe that is the best attitude to have. That being said, there's usually been back and forth messaging prior which gives an indication of where things could potentially lead, and fortunately my suspicions have usually panned out

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

I expect nothing except coffee and chat to see if there is a mutual attraction both ways.

If guys want more they're not my type of man!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I expect nothing except coffee and chat to see if there is a mutual attraction both ways.

If guys want more they're not my type of man!"

We had a guy message us asking if we wanted to go for coffee. Was refreshing to see a message like that from a guy and we agreed, quickly transpired he didnt want to sound crude and ask straight up for a fuck but that's all he wanted

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Social - coffee /drinks in a public place. NO play.

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"I expect nothing except coffee and chat to see if there is a mutual attraction both ways.

If guys want more they're not my type of man!

"
hope you told him to fuck off lol

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By *inglehotchickWoman
over a year ago

blackpool

Usually a social to me is an hour or so. Have a coffee and a chat. I won’t even arrange a second meet on a social. I prefer to go away and then arrange as if I’m not interested in the person there’s no awkwardness

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By *ilent.KnightMan
over a year ago

Swindon

Based on MissWs post I now expect a blow job. And a Starbucks.

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

"Usually a social to me is an hour or so. Have a coffee and a chat. I won’t even arrange a second meet on a social. I prefer to go away and then arrange as if I’m not interested in the person there’s no awkwardness "

I'm like that. I've had a couple of guys ask there and then if I want to meet again, it was awkward but I just came out with a 'thanks for meeting me today but.....'

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I expect nothing except coffee and chat to see if there is a mutual attraction both ways.

If guys want more they're not my type of man!

hope you told him to fuck off lol"

We weren't quite so polite but yes

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By *ELLONS AND CREAMWoman
over a year ago

stourbridge area

This is why its best to have a social... then you can just have a coffee and go if the person does nor meet your expectations ... some people sound lovley on texts ... but when you actually meer them you can make your mind up ....

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"I expect nothing except coffee and chat to see if there is a mutual attraction both ways.

If guys want more they're not my type of man!

hope you told him to fuck off lol

We weren't quite so polite but yes"

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

I insist on a coffee/tea/other beverage social first time.

Any guy who won't accept that is not someone I want to meet

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By *wo4FemCouple
over a year ago

Birmingham

We expect to meet whoever we have arranged to meet and have a few drinks and a chat and get to know each other. Hopefully we all have a connection with a view to playing on the next meet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends how it's worded. Some people say social only first. Whereas others just say social first which can be misinterpreted.

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By *ackDMissMorganCouple
over a year ago

Halifax

We generally just assume it will be a few drinks,chat and see of theres attraction /connection to meet again.

Miss

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cake and or donuts..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I expect to be showered with gifts, red carpet rolled out, fine dining and only intellectual conversation with zero flirting.

Someone expecting sex on a sex site? Disgusting.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would assume it would mean. A coffee or a drink in a local pub. You know. Been social. Or am I missing the point.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

because time is hard to free up for everybody a social with a view to play if all happy is the way to go - but the social bit is just to have a chat - find out if you are all compatible - whether that is over a coffee at home and then into play or whether its elsewhere and another date is arranged -

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By *entle giraffeMan
over a year ago

Minehead

Coffee and an 'ickle slice of cake'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We would hope to play the same night, if all goes well. Otherwise it could be 6 months before diaries marry up again. But if it’s not possible that’s fine, and we would someone’s wishes if they didn’t want to play on the same night.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A social drink is a drink where you can meet, no pressure no promises to play and to see where the land lies

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By *itmanAndHerrCouple
over a year ago

st helens

We prefer to meet and play but if the person we're talking to wants purely a social then we're happy witb that as long as its not a long drive and hotel costs.

Last week we met a lady we've been talking to for a good few weeks. She wanted a social first and also wanted to bring someone along. Presumably for safety. We were more than happy with that but as time went by and she got to know us she relaxed and on the night in question she came alone and after 30mins she suggested we get a hotel room. This lady considered herself straight/curious and had never met a couple on her own before.

I suppose the moral of that is if you accommodate peoples wishes, make them feel comfortable and don't have expectations then they're more likely to trust you and open up to you and a social can easily become more.

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By *ust RachelTV/TS
over a year ago

Horsham

A relaxed chat over a coffee or whatever, just getting to know each other no pressure to take it further.

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By *uzz And WoodyCouple
over a year ago

Maidstone

We prefer the social meet with no play route. I’d find it extremely odd that somebody would want to rush us into sex. To me it’s just not normal behaviour. Yes, we could take it as flattery but alarm bells would ring. What’s the rush? Much prefer the slow game, in and out of the bedroom. It’s about the journey as much as the destination. If there’s no chemistry over a drink and a natter, then there’ll definitely be no chemistry in the bedroom. Always best to figure that out sooner rather than later. No regrets.

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