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worst meet ever

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

so come on i bet you all have a worst meet so what was it.

Ours was we met a guy at 3am in the morning he took us through his back garden struggling in heels through bushes and trees ( i know what your probably thinking why didnt we turn back and go) but this was our first outside of a club went into the guys house and sat there chatting never got offered a drink i was in need of a coffee. he was sat over the other side of the room chatting about god knows what when my partner decided we should g out for a cigarette where we both agreed this wasn't going anywhere and we should leave i was so relieved got my bag and left. maybe we should have made the first move but to be honest my horn had all gone i was bored and thirsty and my horn had done a runner on me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never had a bad meet cause I'm such a stud!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have been fortunate so far but we are selective and spend some time vetting people before meeting.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"so come on i bet you all have a worst meet so what was it.

Ours was we met a guy at 3am in the morning he took us through his back garden struggling in heels through bushes and trees ( i know what your probably thinking why didnt we turn back and go) but this was our first outside of a club went into the guys house and sat there chatting never got offered a drink i was in need of a coffee. he was sat over the other side of the room chatting about god knows what when my partner decided we should g out for a cigarette where we both agreed this wasn't going anywhere and we should leave i was so relieved got my bag and left. maybe we should have made the first move but to be honest my horn had all gone i was bored and thirsty and my horn had done a runner on me. "

that deffo sounds manky...

better luck next time!

Wolf

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

OK guy booked a hotel near me and we agreed to meet outside. He was smoking, but hey thats fine. We went to the room, played a bit, he got his condom on and came on the first stroke.

I was still horny so I suggest some oral and he gets up and shoves his cock in my mouth. Fair enough think I, I'll get mine next. He cums again, gets dressed and ges for a fag.

He then says he'll buy me lunch from the pub attached to the hotel We go to the bar, he orders his own lunch and drink, pays and goes off for another fag. I buy my drink and sit and wait. He's gone for 30 mins! When he gets back I make my excuses and leave.

And I still felt guilty for leaving cos he'd paid for the hotel!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Years ago on another site i met a man with such bad breath when he kissed me at one point i though i was gonna be sick. I know sometimes we all get bad breath, i clean my teeth for half an hour before and hope its ok.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Suggested oral and he stood up and put his cock I'm my mouth" lol that's Piss funny lol that's proper selfish be glad u left xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"OK guy booked a hotel near me and we agreed to meet outside. He was smoking, but hey thats fine. We went to the room, played a bit, he got his condom on and came on the first stroke.

I was still horny so I suggest some oral and he gets up and shoves his cock in my mouth. Fair enough think I, I'll get mine next. He cums again, gets dressed and ges for a fag.

He then says he'll buy me lunch from the pub attached to the hotel We go to the bar, he orders his own lunch and drink, pays and goes off for another fag. I buy my drink and sit and wait. He's gone for 30 mins! When he gets back I make my excuses and leave.

And I still felt guilty for leaving cos he'd paid for the hotel! "

This is easily the funniest thing I've read on these forums. Superb!

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum


"OK guy booked a hotel near me and we agreed to meet outside. He was smoking, but hey thats fine. We went to the room, played a bit, he got his condom on and came on the first stroke.

I was still horny so I suggest some oral and he gets up and shoves his cock in my mouth. Fair enough think I, I'll get mine next. He cums again, gets dressed and ges for a fag.

He then says he'll buy me lunch from the pub attached to the hotel We go to the bar, he orders his own lunch and drink, pays and goes off for another fag. I buy my drink and sit and wait. He's gone for 30 mins! When he gets back I make my excuses and leave.

And I still felt guilty for leaving cos he'd paid for the hotel!

This is easily the funniest thing I've read on these forums. Superb! "

It was like the template for the crappest meet ever. At leats my plastic pal was waiting for me when I got home.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"OK guy booked a hotel near me and we agreed to meet outside. He was smoking, but hey thats fine. We went to the room, played a bit, he got his condom on and came on the first stroke.

I was still horny so I suggest some oral and he gets up and shoves his cock in my mouth. Fair enough think I, I'll get mine next. He cums again, gets dressed and ges for a fag.

He then says he'll buy me lunch from the pub attached to the hotel We go to the bar, he orders his own lunch and drink, pays and goes off for another fag. I buy my drink and sit and wait. He's gone for 30 mins! When he gets back I make my excuses and leave.

And I still felt guilty for leaving cos he'd paid for the hotel! "

Notes taken......

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum


"OK guy booked a hotel near me and we agreed to meet outside. He was smoking, but hey thats fine. We went to the room, played a bit, he got his condom on and came on the first stroke.

I was still horny so I suggest some oral and he gets up and shoves his cock in my mouth. Fair enough think I, I'll get mine next. He cums again, gets dressed and ges for a fag.

He then says he'll buy me lunch from the pub attached to the hotel We go to the bar, he orders his own lunch and drink, pays and goes off for another fag. I buy my drink and sit and wait. He's gone for 30 mins! When he gets back I make my excuses and leave.

And I still felt guilty for leaving cos he'd paid for the hotel!

Notes taken...... "

Hope they are notes about what NOT to do!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Hope they are notes about what NOT to do!!"

Not saying and don't worry 24 hour smoking ban on meets, always have, always will.... but I do need replacement therapy so as long as there is something else my mouth can do, all is well

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Think you had the patience of a saint.well a dirty one lol

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By *lut n slutty 69Couple
over a year ago

wakefield

omg selfish or wat better look next time xx

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By *orth West CoupleCouple
over a year ago

liverpool


"OK guy booked a hotel near me and we agreed to meet outside. He was smoking, but hey thats fine. We went to the room, played a bit, he got his condom on and came on the first stroke.

I was still horny so I suggest some oral and he gets up and shoves his cock in my mouth. Fair enough think I, I'll get mine next. He cums again, gets dressed and ges for a fag.

He then says he'll buy me lunch from the pub attached to the hotel We go to the bar, he orders his own lunch and drink, pays and goes off for another fag. I buy my drink and sit and wait. He's gone for 30 mins! When he gets back I make my excuses and leave.

And I still felt guilty for leaving cos he'd paid for the hotel! "

That's terrible....I would have at least bought you a packet of crisps and a lemonade

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had a woman turn up for a social meet wheezing like a 100 a day addict. I thought if i got her naked she might pass out on me so made my excuses after a drink and left.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

meet a guy who buy his account was a stud last for ages. he was here 10min left without saying anything just drove off. then text to say it was my fault im too tight and he cum straight away. needless to say i declined a repeat performance.

thankfully i had batteries in the house and my rubber friend

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I remember years ago me and the ex meeting a couple

It was dreadful, they came to our house and they was so smelly, i know that sounds rude but im just being honest, clothes didnt look like they had been washed or changed for weeks and the smell of BO was bad

Anyway we knew there and then it wasnt going anywhere but we had a drink and a chat with them, they was just so cring worthy even to talk to, he sat there telling us about this stool sample he took to the docs and went into great detail about how hard it was to shit in the tube, then she started telling us about her decorating the down stairs loo because the back of the loo was damp and the paper was coming off where he kept peeing up the wall

Thats not a joke by the way 1000% true

When we told them it was nice to meet but we didnt want to take it any further she said, oh we dont seem to be having any luck just lately the last meet we had in a pub went to the toilet and never come back and the one before had to leave early cause of the kids

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"OK guy booked a hotel near me and we agreed to meet outside. He was smoking, but hey thats fine. We went to the room, played a bit, he got his condom on and came on the first stroke.

I was still horny so I suggest some oral and he gets up and shoves his cock in my mouth. Fair enough think I, I'll get mine next. He cums again, gets dressed and ges for a fag.

He then says he'll buy me lunch from the pub attached to the hotel We go to the bar, he orders his own lunch and drink, pays and goes off for another fag. I buy my drink and sit and wait. He's gone for 30 mins! When he gets back I make my excuses and leave.

And I still felt guilty for leaving cos he'd paid for the hotel!

That's terrible....I would have at least bought you a packet of crisps and a lemonade "

I'll raise you a bag of nuts and a single spirit in the lemonade, or cola.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I remember years ago me and the ex meeting a couple

It was dreadful, they came to our house and they was so smelly, i know that sounds rude but im just being honest, clothes didnt look like they had been washed or changed for weeks and the smell of BO was bad

Anyway we knew there and then it wasnt going anywhere but we had a drink and a chat with them, they was just so cring worthy even to talk to, he sat there telling us about this stool sample he took to the docs and went into great detail about how hard it was to shit in the tube, then she started telling us about her decorating the down stairs loo because the back of the loo was damp and the paper was coming off where he kept peeing up the wall

Thats not a joke by the way 1000% true

When we told them it was nice to meet but we didnt want to take it any further she said, oh we dont seem to be having any luck just lately the last meet we had in a pub went to the toilet and never come back and the one before had to leave early cause of the kids "

I don't know whether to laugh, cringe or pity them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Another one i had as a single woman lol

Was talking to guy who wanted to go to a club with me, he mailed me saying there was a meet at partners in bury he'd be asked to go along to but would like to go as a couple, at first i said no as i dont drive and its bloody miles from me, but he said he would pick me up and take me home after as he lived close to me, i had spoken to him before a few times and he seemed nice and he was well verified so i agreed

As arrranged he picked me up, we went to partners, had a good night, played together and alone everything was fine till the end of the night

Then at the end of the night he came over to me and said that he had been invited back to a womans house he'd been playing with and said will you be ok to get home alone, so i said ermmm not really, how am i supposed to get home at this time of night, as i live in dudley and we was in manchester, to which he replied, well sorry but its swinging and you cant really expect me to turn down going to someones house just to drive you home

and left me over a 100 miles from home at 3am

Then had the nerve to mail me a few days later saying he had had a great night would i like to meet him again to go to another club

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By *urreyfun2008Man
over a year ago

East Grinstead

So what I've learnt today

1. Keep place clean - tick.

2. Make sure fresh bedding - tick.

3. Offer people a drink/nibbles on arriving - will do.

4. If eating out somewhere, be polite and treat it a bit like a date - will do.

5. Have a wank before, so that you last longer, and make sure she cum's at least twice during meet.

6. Dont talk endlessly, and stay away from toilet talk - will do.

7. Early on a little flirty body contact - to break the ice.

Anything else? Perhaps we should have a 30 rules to swing dates list.

Now all I need to do is work hard enough to afford all my plastic surgery So I can look less like Boris Johnson

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Another one i had as a single woman lol

Was talking to guy who wanted to go to a club with me, he mailed me saying there was a meet at partners in bury he'd be asked to go along to but would like to go as a couple, at first i said no as i dont drive and its bloody miles from me, but he said he would pick me up and take me home after as he lived close to me, i had spoken to him before a few times and he seemed nice and he was well verified so i agreed

As arrranged he picked me up, we went to partners, had a good night, played together and alone everything was fine till the end of the night

Then at the end of the night he came over to me and said that he had been invited back to a womans house he'd been playing with and said will you be ok to get home alone, so i said ermmm not really, how am i supposed to get home at this time of night, as i live in dudley and we was in manchester, to which he replied, well sorry but its swinging and you cant really expect me to turn down going to someones house just to drive you home

and left me over a 100 miles from home at 3am

Then had the nerve to mail me a few days later saying he had had a great night would i like to meet him again to go to another club "

Where do you people meet these guys is beyond madness. "Yes my dear, I shall use you to make ME look popular at a club and then strand you miles from home" and he went home with someone else, really!!

No wonder everyone rages on the single guys, might have to start raging on myself soon "I am a no good SOB"

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham


"so come on i bet you all have a worst meet so what was it.

Ours was we met a guy at 3am in the morning he took us through his back garden struggling in heels through bushes and trees ( i know what your probably thinking why didnt we turn back and go) but this was our first outside of a club went into the guys house and sat there chatting never got offered a drink i was in need of a coffee. he was sat over the other side of the room chatting about god knows what when my partner decided we should g out for a cigarette where we both agreed this wasn't going anywhere and we should leave i was so relieved got my bag and left. maybe we should have made the first move but to be honest my horn had all gone i was bored and thirsty and my horn had done a runner on me. "

Don't think that's all that terrible to be fair, you got off lightly lol

Can't think of any awful meets except the time I went to a guys house who had a house cat. The place stable of cat shit and piss and there were hairs everywhere!!!

Had loads of funny ones though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Where do you people meet these guys is beyond madness. "

on here lol

I dont slate single guys, i only meet single guys, ive been doing this for 10 years now and met loads of great people, the amount of bad meets ive had i can count on my fingers, which is good odds in 10 years

But you always remember the bad meets because they the ones you look back on and laugh at on threads like this

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By *heekychezzaWoman
over a year ago

warrington

A couple of years ago I met a single guy, actually it was our second meet. We'd both enjoyed the first so when he asked to see me again I happily agreed. He came to my home on time, clean, and smelling gorgeous. We had a snog session behind the front door then headed for the bedroom. I was horny as hell and within minutes we were naked. He asked if I would give him a BJ...no probs...he had a lovely cock. Yum yum.

........ and then he got dressed!

He hadn't so much as tweaked a nipple! I asked what he was doing...and he said "Oh I've got to get off...I've got something arranged."

Needless to say I told him exactly what I thought of his behaviour...in no uncertain terms.....and he left....and 15 minutes later he'd deleted his profile from Fab

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By *im halpertMan
over a year ago

redditch


"OK guy booked a hotel near me and we agreed to meet outside. He was smoking, but hey thats fine. We went to the room, played a bit, he got his condom on and came on the first stroke.

I was still horny so I suggest some oral and he gets up and shoves his cock in my mouth. Fair enough think I, I'll get mine next. He cums again, gets dressed and ges for a fag.

He then says he'll buy me lunch from the pub attached to the hotel We go to the bar, he orders his own lunch and drink, pays and goes off for another fag. I buy my drink and sit and wait. He's gone for 30 mins! When he gets back I make my excuses and leave.

And I still felt guilty for leaving cos he'd paid for the hotel!

Notes taken......

Hope they are notes about what NOT to do!!"
did he ask for any further meets?

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By *im halpertMan
over a year ago

redditch


"A couple of years ago I met a single guy, actually it was our second meet. We'd both enjoyed the first so when he asked to see me again I happily agreed. He came to my home on time, clean, and smelling gorgeous. We had a snog session behind the front door then headed for the bedroom. I was horny as hell and within minutes we were naked. He asked if I would give him a BJ...no probs...he had a lovely cock. Yum yum.

........ and then he got dressed!

He hadn't so much as tweaked a nipple! I asked what he was doing...and he said "Oh I've got to get off...I've got something arranged."

Needless to say I told him exactly what I thought of his behaviour...in no uncertain terms.....and he left....and 15 minutes later he'd deleted his profile from Fab"
oh my god how cheeky!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Had a meet few years back, all good fems played down stairs, went up stairs to play ,only soft swing, so i the male went down on fem of other cpl, the fem farted as i pleasured her to make it worse as i tried to come up for air she held my head down there, had to struggle her grip. funny now but , not at the time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A couple of years ago I met a single guy, actually it was our second meet. We'd both enjoyed the first so when he asked to see me again I happily agreed. He came to my home on time, clean, and smelling gorgeous. We had a snog session behind the front door then headed for the bedroom. I was horny as hell and within minutes we were naked. He asked if I would give him a BJ...no probs...he had a lovely cock. Yum yum.

........ and then he got dressed!

He hadn't so much as tweaked a nipple! I asked what he was doing...and he said "Oh I've got to get off...I've got something arranged."

Needless to say I told him exactly what I thought of his behaviour...in no uncertain terms.....and he left....and 15 minutes later he'd deleted his profile from Fab"

hah the cheek!

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By *orth West CoupleCouple
over a year ago

liverpool


"OK guy booked a hotel near me and we agreed to meet outside. He was smoking, but hey thats fine. We went to the room, played a bit, he got his condom on and came on the first stroke.

I was still horny so I suggest some oral and he gets up and shoves his cock in my mouth. Fair enough think I, I'll get mine next. He cums again, gets dressed and ges for a fag.

He then says he'll buy me lunch from the pub attached to the hotel We go to the bar, he orders his own lunch and drink, pays and goes off for another fag. I buy my drink and sit and wait. He's gone for 30 mins! When he gets back I make my excuses and leave.

And I still felt guilty for leaving cos he'd paid for the hotel!

That's terrible....I would have at least bought you a packet of crisps and a lemonade

I'll raise you a bag of nuts and a single spirit in the lemonade, or cola. "

Sorry....you priced me out when you offered nuts

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By *uro anchorMan
over a year ago

Coventry

think the worst meets are if the people smell..

my sense of smell is not very good so if i can smell them they must be bad..

had one where the wife was sucking my cock.. her husband got naked and when he got close his cock stunk...

couldnt imagine having a meet without shower shave and some nice aftershave...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"had one where the wife was sucking my cock.. her husband got naked and when he got close his cock stunk..."

Feeling a bit queasy now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"had one where the wife was sucking my cock.. her husband got naked and when he got close his cock stunk...

Feeling a bit queasy now "

+1

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Years ago on another site i met a man with such bad breath when he kissed me at one point i though i was gonna be sick. I know sometimes we all get bad breath, i clean my teeth for half an hour before and hope its ok."
Cleaning your teeth for half an hour will cause your gums to bleed and make your breath worse than his!

Little tip. . . . . buy gum x

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By *evilwolfCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire


"Another one i had as a single woman lol

Was talking to guy who wanted to go to a club with me, he mailed me saying there was a meet at partners in bury he'd be asked to go along to but would like to go as a couple, at first i said no as i dont drive and its bloody miles from me, but he said he would pick me up and take me home after as he lived close to me, i had spoken to him before a few times and he seemed nice and he was well verified so i agreed

As arrranged he picked me up, we went to partners, had a good night, played together and alone everything was fine till the end of the night

Then at the end of the night he came over to me and said that he had been invited back to a womans house he'd been playing with and said will you be ok to get home alone, so i said ermmm not really, how am i supposed to get home at this time of night, as i live in dudley and we was in manchester, to which he replied, well sorry but its swinging and you cant really expect me to turn down going to someones house just to drive you home

and left me over a 100 miles from home at 3am

Then had the nerve to mail me a few days later saying he had had a great night would i like to meet him again to go to another club "

despicable, he could of at least gave you the train fare home... I know if I'd gone out with someone when I was single (and provided transport) I'd have returned with them too

Wolf

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I remember years ago me and the ex meeting a couple

It was dreadful, they came to our house and they was so smelly, i know that sounds rude but im just being honest, clothes didnt look like they had been washed or changed for weeks and the smell of BO was bad

Anyway we knew there and then it wasnt going anywhere but we had a drink and a chat with them, they was just so cring worthy even to talk to, he sat there telling us about this stool sample he took to the docs and went into great detail about how hard it was to shit in the tube, then she started telling us about her decorating the down stairs loo because the back of the loo was damp and the paper was coming off where he kept peeing up the wall

Thats not a joke by the way 1000% true

When we told them it was nice to meet but we didnt want to take it any further she said, oh we dont seem to be having any luck just lately the last meet we had in a pub went to the toilet and never come back and the one before had to leave early cause of the kids "

omg oh hun you poor thing fancy a fag and we can chat about it even more lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Met a guy he looked and smelled lovely, had a great laugh together went upstairs to his room and I was sucking his cock, no problem, tasted slightly of soap but hey, it was clean...asked me to finger his arse while I was doing it....... slid my hand to his rear and ewwwww! dangleberries.... I gagged!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Met a guy he looked and smelled lovely, had a great laugh together went upstairs to his room and I was sucking his cock, no problem, tasted slightly of soap but hey, it was clean...asked me to finger his arse while I was doing it....... slid my hand to his rear and ewwwww! dangleberries.... I gagged! "

PLEASE, it's getting near my teatime!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Another one i had as a single woman lol

Was talking to guy who wanted to go to a club with me, he mailed me saying there was a meet at partners in bury he'd be asked to go along to but would like to go as a couple, at first i said no as i dont drive and its bloody miles from me, but he said he would pick me up and take me home after as he lived close to me, i had spoken to him before a few times and he seemed nice and he was well verified so i agreed

As arrranged he picked me up, we went to partners, had a good night, played together and alone everything was fine till the end of the night

Then at the end of the night he came over to me and said that he had been invited back to a womans house he'd been playing with and said will you be ok to get home alone, so i said ermmm not really, how am i supposed to get home at this time of night, as i live in dudley and we was in manchester, to which he replied, well sorry but its swinging and you cant really expect me to turn down going to someones house just to drive you home

and left me over a 100 miles from home at 3am

Then had the nerve to mail me a few days later saying he had had a great night would i like to meet him again to go to another club

despicable, he could of at least gave you the train fare home... I know if I'd gone out with someone when I was single (and provided transport) I'd have returned with them too

Wolf

"

thats below the belt

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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago

not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds)

That's really bad,.. it did remind me of this joke..

On the eve of our anniversary my wife and I agreed that whoever woke up first in the morning should wake the other one with oral sex. Come the morning I was up first so I slowly pulled back the covers... ...

and stuck my cock in her mouth.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

lets just say....she was a horserider and hadnt had a shower.....

she ermmm got rather excited and kept farting.....

we dont mind squirters but ffs she was gushing seconds into even touching her....imagine in full play.....

lets just say the fun didnt last long....we walked out.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dont know if you really want to the worst meet I had !!! All I will say the police should have been called and I learnt alot about what low life some people can be.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

After gigling and laughing at the posts in here sorry for you all .We are really glad we are so choosey lol

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By *orkscrew CurlsWoman
over a year ago

Loughborough Leics

Here are my top 3, the rest will be in my memoirs one day! This does not include the simple married guilt droopers, premature cummers or old photo-ers...

3.The d*unk guy. Met him, he went to loo never to return. He continued to text me for months with no memory of the event.

2. The hovel freak. Drove over an hour to meet a guy, so really wanted it to work out! The pub he chose was a dive, but as he hadn't lived in the area long, just a mistake? Went to his place, which wasn't his infact, it was a hovel. No paint on the walls, and a lightbulb which transferred from room to room. He took off his trousers, and underneath were another pair of tracksuit bottoms (it was summer...) And said that he coudn't get turned on without a blowjob. Time to leave...stumbling through unlit hallway to door hastily!...

1. The French Charmer

Had been chatting to the sexy David for months - he even spoke to my mum on Christmas day! I went to a party and he called me to say he had bought me flights the following morning to go and see him. So I did...how exciting!

He picked me up at the airport, drove me to his flat, this is when it started to go wrong! There was ladies stuff there - his girlfriend was away. Shit! Alarm bells. It turned out his car was totally illegal, uninsured and the police were after him, he broke down in tears, then left the flat...

I phoned home to get my credit card number to get the next flight back, but it wasn't until the morning, so I spent the night on the sofa, he didn't come back, altho I feared it all night. Flew myself home and breathed a sigh of relief.

Do I get the prize??...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Met a guy he looked and smelled lovely, had a great laugh together went upstairs to his room and I was sucking his cock, no problem, tasted slightly of soap but hey, it was clean...asked me to finger his arse while I was doing it....... slid my hand to his rear and ewwwww! dangleberries.... I gagged!

PLEASE, it's getting near my teatime! "

Haa haa haa haa!!!

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By *amescoupleCouple
over a year ago

north walsham

We have been fortunate enought o not ave any really bad experiences...though not many meets either sob sob.

But for us the worst was a very spontaneous evening. Chatting with a couple on msn for a while and they suggested meeting in town for a drink. So we hurridly organised a baby sitter, got showered and headed out.

Met in the pu where for the next 45 minutes we tried every which way to make conversation to no avail. The most we got back was a snippett about gardening. This was alongside the fem looking about as interested in being there as a brick and the male leering non-stop at mrs-games cleavage.

Needless to say we made our excuses and headed home more bored than a parlimentarian on queens speech day.

But then our luck isnt the best with a no show fem who didnt let us know even though we had arranged for our little one to go to her nans for the weekend. Pft lol

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum


"OK guy booked a hotel near me and we agreed to meet outside. He was smoking, but hey thats fine. We went to the room, played a bit, he got his condom on and came on the first stroke.

I was still horny so I suggest some oral and he gets up and shoves his cock in my mouth. Fair enough think I, I'll get mine next. He cums again, gets dressed and ges for a fag.

He then says he'll buy me lunch from the pub attached to the hotel We go to the bar, he orders his own lunch and drink, pays and goes off for another fag. I buy my drink and sit and wait. He's gone for 30 mins! When he gets back I make my excuses and leave.

And I still felt guilty for leaving cos he'd paid for the hotel!

Notes taken......

Hope they are notes about what NOT to do!!

did he ask for any further meets?"

He texted once but I never heard from him after that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

well my husband and i decided to have a foursome and got my friend involved, my friend and myself searchd through all the pics sent t us to find the ONE, along came this guy his profile said he was the best yet highest sex drive ever. we were impressed decided to give him a chance he came to ours after a few drinks we got down and dity.

so then it was the guys turn he asked for a bj no problems there i thought off came the trousers and boxers only to find he hadnt even bothered to be shaven which we had asked of him. ehy we continuied i dont know i thought maybe il pass him off to my friend stick with my husband- evil i knoe lol so up in the bedromm me and my friend playn away my husband rock hard and raring to go our high sex drive meet soft as an off bannana he cudnt get it up apparently he felt intimidated being in the same room as an erect penis really then told a girl my husband touched his arm. hmmmmm was very close proximity but with 2 straight men you wud think both of them would get a good root not just 1.

so we ignored him couldnt be annoyed trying to get him hard any more so my husband got a 3some with a fella watching then we made our soft friend take the other fem home lol her idea lol

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By *hoenixcouplexxCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

We're not sure wether to laugh or be scared!

Luckily no bad meets for us! Maybe some where we were to busy cacking ourselves to enjoy it as much as we could have but those days are long gone!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"had one where the wife was sucking my cock.. her husband got naked and when he got close his cock stunk...

Feeling a bit queasy now

+1 "

+another. Smell is the worst....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Met a guy he looked and smelled lovely, had a great laugh together went upstairs to his room and I was sucking his cock, no problem, tasted slightly of soap but hey, it was clean...asked me to finger his arse while I was doing it....... slid my hand to his rear and ewwwww! dangleberries.... I gagged!

PLEASE, it's getting near my teatime!

Haa haa haa haa!!! "

Makes me think he gave his knob a quick swish in the washhand basin at the pub, but nothing else.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

had 3 bad ones, first one when first started swinging, arranged to meet a couple in blackpool for a few drinks, turned up wife looked nothing like pics and very timid, didnt say much he did all talking, she went off to the loo and hes saying shes gagging for it etc. when she came back and he went to the mens asked her if she was happy with this and her reply was "i'm just doing it for him!!" suffice to say when he got back i told him didnt feel right about this and didnt want to take it further. he followed me too my car and tried to persuade me she would really like to do it, banging on window etc what a wanker!!

a couple of years ago arranged a midweek meet with a couple to their local pub then supposidly back to theres, turned up at the pub and it was in the middle of a really dodgy estate, half of windows boarded up, looked like bomb had blown it up!! thought ok will go in, walked in and the woman was like her pics the guy wasnt the guy in their photos, he was very scary looking what can only be described as a meathead!! so thought ok will be polite and have a drink, offered them one and they accepted, got on ok, then they said sorry couldnt buy me one back as were skint and they would have the same again, thought ok we all have money troubles so went to bar again. it was cheap so wasnt breaking bank then they dropped into conversation they had been evicted that week and they were staying at their folks and if wanted to play, we could goto a club and id have to pay them in, and as they didnt have a car so would have to take them there and then back again at the end!! at this point i thought piss takers!! so luckily got a call on moby so took it outside and came back in and lied to them to say it was my dad calling and my mum has had an accident and had to go!! felt guilty for lying to them but never heard back from them.

recently person on here invited me round to theres, turned up and the place smelt of wet dogs and dog shit, smell made me gag and was sick in my own mouth, made excuses and left!!

apart from that had the odd pictures not being truly representative of them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 20/09/11 15:15:07]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Had one last time I was on here that was a set up and almost ended up in a fight and one where the lady looked nothing like her pics and got the hump because I said I was leaving

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A few years ago when i was a single male i arranged a meet with a local couple,every thing was going great a nice drink and a gud convo, we all headed to my bed when in there the fun started,the fem was sucking my cock(really gud i add)while her hubby had her bent over after about 5 minutes he had finished and turns round to me and says.. she all yours, so i laid her down on the bed and slowly went down on her,then BANG as i was giving her oral sumit wasnt right so i started to finger her,took my fingers out and had a handfull of his CUM dripping down my fingers that was it i went all floppy and ran to the toilet to be sick and wash my hands

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Another one i had as a single woman lol

Was talking to guy who wanted to go to a club with me, he mailed me saying there was a meet at partners in bury he'd be asked to go along to but would like to go as a couple, at first i said no as i dont drive and its bloody miles from me, but he said he would pick me up and take me home after as he lived close to me, i had spoken to him before a few times and he seemed nice and he was well verified so i agreed

As arrranged he picked me up, we went to partners, had a good night, played together and alone everything was fine till the end of the night

Then at the end of the night he came over to me and said that he had been invited back to a womans house he'd been playing with and said will you be ok to get home alone, so i said ermmm not really, how am i supposed to get home at this time of night, as i live in dudley and we was in manchester, to which he replied, well sorry but its swinging and you cant really expect me to turn down going to someones house just to drive you home

and left me over a 100 miles from home at 3am

Then had the nerve to mail me a few days later saying he had had a great night would i like to meet him again to go to another club "

Ouch

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 20/09/11 16:32:14]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A few years ago when i was a single male i arranged a meet with a local couple,every thing was going great a nice drink and a gud convo, we all headed to my bed when in there the fun started,the fem was sucking my cock(really gud i add)while her hubby had her bent over after about 5 minutes he had finished and turns round to me and says.. she all yours, so i laid her down on the bed and slowly went down on her,then BANG as i was giving her oral sumit wasnt right so i started to finger her,took my fingers out and had a handfull of his CUM dripping down my fingers that was it i went all floppy and ran to the toilet to be sick and wash my hands "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

bork

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By *lderguy4funMan
over a year ago

ROTHERHAM

GREAT THREAD THIS best laff ive had in ages SHAME ON SOME SINGLE GUYS who cant even be botherd to have a shower or bath befor a meet how can they expect a couple to play if they havent even botherd to have a wash and put some aftershaven on its STINKS LOL if a couple come to me i time my meet so that ive just got out of bath 20mins b4 they come so i know im clean and clean shaven all over and the rotten sod who left the lady 100miles from home wants a broken bottle shoveing up his arse what a twat AND LADYS THERE ARE A FEW NICE SINGLE CLEAN GUYS ON HERE ive never had a bad meet but traveled 40miles for a meet and wen i got to pub where we were meeting they txt and said sorry cant meet dont you just hate that xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Met a guy he looked and smelled lovely, had a great laugh together went upstairs to his room and I was sucking his cock, no problem, tasted slightly of soap but hey, it was clean...asked me to finger his arse while I was doing it....... slid my hand to his rear and ewwwww! dangleberries.... I gagged! "

I know it's not funny but Laine such simple descriptive words made me burst out laughing

what a start to the night

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By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest


"Met a guy he looked and smelled lovely, had a great laugh together went upstairs to his room and I was sucking his cock, no problem, tasted slightly of soap but hey, it was clean...asked me to finger his arse while I was doing it....... slid my hand to his rear and ewwwww! dangleberries.... I gagged!

I know it's not funny but Laine such simple descriptive words made me burst out laughing

what a start to the night "

I suspect that might be the end of the night as well

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Met a guy he looked and smelled lovely, had a great laugh together went upstairs to his room and I was sucking his cock, no problem, tasted slightly of soap but hey, it was clean...asked me to finger his arse while I was doing it....... slid my hand to his rear and ewwwww! dangleberries.... I gagged!

I know it's not funny but Laine such simple descriptive words made me burst out laughing

what a start to the night

I suspect that might be the end of the night as well "

It was. I even let him keep my nylons because I thought ewwwww they might be well whiffy after being near his arse.

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By *ittenandthepirateCouple
over a year ago

Manchester

best thread ever!

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By *ortheastcoupleukCouple
over a year ago

easington were the sun dont shine

meet 1.we went to lasses house should of known was gona be one of them nights when the dog was locked in one bedroom howling bit of a f2f play the mrs (whos very str8 forward)says sorry cant go down there it smells and is dirty, as i am wishing for scotty to beam me up the lass replys "well ive just had a fella cum fix the pc and as am skint i let him fuck me" 2 mins later scotty beams us into our car

meet 2. a club in blackpool me and the mrs wee playing when a fem cums into room asks if she can join in ,whey hey she then goes to sit on my face as the mrs was sucking me when all i saw was a bunch of hingy out grapes hanging from her behind ,panic struck double somersault trying to get out the way nearly pulling the mrs jaw out and half me nob she lass bangs ass fust down

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

ffsss T m8 lmfaoooooo

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

(one of) Our worst, guy contacts us with a view to a 5 way with his regular couple, we chat with all parties all seems good.We had quite a long drive to their house, there is a mattress on the floor on the front room, bit bad taste i think but ok, we all chat and drink get on great.I went to the loo and when i got back only the single guy was there with my partner then he gets a text on his phone from the couple in the kitchen! Theyve d*unk too much got cold feet and couldnt even face us to tell us, long drive home

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By *attoo loversCouple
over a year ago

norwich


"So what I've learnt today

1. Keep place clean - tick.

2. Make sure fresh bedding - tick.

3. Offer people a drink/nibbles on arriving - will do.

4. If eating out somewhere, be polite and treat it a bit like a date - will do.

5. Have a wank before, so that you last longer, and make sure she cum's at least twice during meet.

6. Dont talk endlessly, and stay away from toilet talk - will do.

7. Early on a little flirty body contact - to break the ice.

Anything else? Perhaps we should have a 30 rules to swing dates list.

Now all I need to do is work hard enough to afford all my plastic surgery So I can look less like Boris Johnson

"

pmsl x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not loss my swinging cherry yet.

But after reading this, I suddenly feel quite luckly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Now that is funny!

Still, he may appeal to scat fans!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

oh lord, so glad I dont live in Manchester!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

three bad meets in all the years,one guys cock stank so much ,i left in disgust,refused to even put my mouth on it ,he was very ofended,another came as soon as i took him out of his trousers and one was so little and soft and then could not cum ,very frustrating for us both

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bump

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Bump"

That was cheekier than your profile pic

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By *oantrimcpl2010Couple
over a year ago

Lisburn


"meet 1.we went to lasses house should of known was gona be one of them nights when the dog was locked in one bedroom howling bit of a f2f play the mrs (whos very str8 forward)says sorry cant go down there it smells and is dirty, as i am wishing for scotty to beam me up the lass replys "well ive just had a fella cum fix the pc and as am skint i let him fuck me" 2 mins later scotty beams us into our car

meet 2. a club in blackpool me and the mrs wee playing when a fem cums into room asks if she can join in ,whey hey she then goes to sit on my face as the mrs was sucking me when all i saw was a bunch of hingy out grapes hanging from her behind ,panic struck double somersault trying to get out the way nearly pulling the mrs jaw out and half me nob she lass bangs ass fust down "

Lmao @ meet 2 ... the visions i now have in my head

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By *ax the gentle GiantMan
over a year ago

birmingham

some amazing times and some wonderful stories that made me put my bad meet into context. I met a lady drove to her place it was some 80 miles from me when i got there she was suppose to be on her own there were four children there that she had agreeded to baby sit for a friend these kids did not want to sleep fair enough. as it got later the kids went to sleep then she got down to business i saw her outer cloths they needed attenetion and at this stage the alarm bells should have gone off, when she stipped off her underwear had not seen a washing machine for years and the rest of her hygine had a lot to be desired. i had to tell her that i left something in the car i went out to the car jumped in and drove straight off thinking of it now i can still smell the stench of her underwear now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thanks all,

very informative, very off putting.

I shall I think stick to my principle of always meeting for a mere drink first, somehwere public with no intention of any hanky-panky and not indulging in any hanky-panky with anyone I would not be interested in under normal dating type circumstances !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i met a guy a few months ago, seemed really nice, pic was great, we agreed to meet, i picked him up and couldnt believe the state of him, he looked nothing like how he did in his pic,as he walked up to my car i noticed he had a wet patch at his crotch got in my car he stank of stale drink, i asked how old the pic was, he said about 7 years old, told him he should put a recent pic up. went to his house and it was disgusting, really filthy, asked to use his loo so taken my bag in with me, had to hover above the seat too pee, god knows when he last washed as his bathroom was just as bad, i texted a friend and asked her to call me in 5 mind pretending to be my kids head teacher and that i had to go get him straight away she called and i made my excuses and left!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"meet 1.we went to lasses house should of known was gona be one of them nights when the dog was locked in one bedroom howling bit of a f2f play the mrs (whos very str8 forward)says sorry cant go down there it smells and is dirty, as i am wishing for scotty to beam me up the lass replys "well ive just had a fella cum fix the pc and as am skint i let him fuck me" 2 mins later scotty beams us into our car

meet 2. a club in blackpool me and the mrs wee playing when a fem cums into room asks if she can join in ,whey hey she then goes to sit on my face as the mrs was sucking me when all i saw was a bunch of hingy out grapes hanging from her behind ,panic struck double somersault trying to get out the way nearly pulling the mrs jaw out and half me nob she lass bangs ass fust down

Lmao @ meet 2 ... the visions i now have in my head "

Meet one is priceless!! Laughing my socks off at that one!!

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