FabSwingers.com forum: How often do you play in a club?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hi everyone.

We are relatively new to swinging but really enjoy meeting privately at people's homes however the club scene appeals to us too. On Saturday we took the plunge at Quest. We had a good night, the club was clean, people were friendly but only one couple took our fancy after chatting with them, (we probably should have made it clearer that we would have played later but wanted to explore the club a bit more first and couldn't find them later, dam! Lol). Digressing, we don't have perfect bodies (far from it) but we do have preferences like everyone. Do you find some nights you're spoilt for choice and other nights nothing takes your fancy? How often do you play with others when you attend a club night.

Thank you. J n A x.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi everyone.

Thank you. J n A x.

We havent played with others for a while.. by comparison of you asked us 2 years ago it was pretty much every week and multiple times.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ancduoCouple
over a year ago

Manchester

Haven’t been to a club for several years but when we did there were a number of times we went home without playing with anyone and other times it was fun all night. Depends who is there and in the mood for fun.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi everyone.

Thank you. J n A x.

That’s exactly what we’ve found, when we first started going to clubs we would get a bit carried away and play with people who might not normally take our fancy. Now we are a little more fussy after a couple of bad experiences so when we go to clubs we will only play with people we both like the look of and obviously that doesn’t always work out as we might not be for them so we usually get less playtime with others in now so some nights we come away having played with only each other, which we would rather do than risk another negative experience.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When myself and Mrs marms go to a club it's mostly social.

Probably 90% social and 10% play if we work it out on the amount of club visits we have had.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *dores blackmenWoman
over a year ago

incognito mode ;-)

I always put meets up when going to a club,so often someone messages who I've played with before so we often play again

Also someone new messages and if we get a connection through chatting here,and the attraction is there we may play,if connect in person

I'm quite happy socializing if nothing happens for me on the night,but generally I do play Atleast once

I'm a great believer in statuses and meets when going somewhere

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So what are everyone's hit rate so to speak? We just don't want to end up being that couple attending every fortnight or so were everyone looks at us and thinks "they never play" and we would be better organising a private meet off Fab instead where we can see photos, chat first and generally get a feel that we're all on the same wave length and that there will be 99% a chance of fun later. Currently on private meets we are 3 out of 3, but in a club it's been 0 out of 2. Hope we've made sense there?

Lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ustJ0dieTV/TS
over a year ago

Burton on Trent

My wife and I rarely play with anyone but each other when we go. Either as a MF or TVF couple.

We find that a lot of people go to clubs specifically to play with people they've arranged to meet beforehand.

And sometimes we are just crap at reading signals.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's hard to find 4 or more people that click... if we played seperate I'm sure we could play more.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *olliPineCouple
over a year ago

swingers clubs

We go to a club with the intention of playing.

Whether that be just with each other or whether we find (a) suitable playmate(s).

Obviously we go in hope that we will bump in to someone who we like - and who would like to join us.

But if that doesn't happen, we'll head off somewhere and play just the two of us (although this has upset some people in the past who don't understand we'd rather just play with each other than them).

The best advice is don't do anything you don't want to, and don't be pressured to play just because you're at a club.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not for quite some while we haven’t played in a club unless just between ourselves as no ones taken our eye at all

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

It does vary - pot luck, if you haven't pre-organized. I always have played at clubs when I go but invariably you'll find missed opportunities, where you don't see others again in time or people are leaving.

It's worth having a few people who you chat with beforehand and so optimize your time, in addition to new random people

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Our last 5 or 6 club visits we havnt played as there hasnt been anyone there we wanted to play with. Thats very frequent at the moment. We are very picky though.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *unandbuckCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield

That's the way with clubs sometimes.

Sometimes it's busy and not much happens, other times there might be only a few in and you have a wild night.

One big advantage you get is, it cuts down the hours you could spend sifting profiles and messaging etc.

Also, we have played with great people at a club and got their fab profile name, and seeing their profile after would have passed them by due to poor pics or hardly any text.

All-in-all we like them, sometimes we'll go knowing someone we know will be there, other times it's fun to see what will happen.

As a couple, it's seems to be the best place to find genuine singles too.

MrB

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We really like clubs. But....we almost never actually play with people at clubs. I'd say less than 20% of the times we've gone we've played. Maybe even less.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We try and go to chams as often as we can but is usually once a month and play either with friends we've made or with new people.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am not sure if you were only after responses from other couples but from my perspective as a single guy I only do club meets, mainly because I feel there is less pressure to play than if I specifically arranged to meet a couple in their home or a hotel.

I also agree with the previous suggestions about posting up meets for when you are going to a club so you can maybe start chatting and determining if there is a connection with someone before arriving at the club.

I do this and it helps with starting up conversations with couples which is a bit nerve wracking when you're a single bloke and you're not even sure if a couple is looking for a single bloke never mind if they find you attractive!

I also empathise with the person who said that they sometimes don't pick up on signals and miss out on potential play; that has happened to me too but I would always err on the side of caution.

Overall in terms of play, as a single guy I have been very fortunate to meet some great people and so have played on all but two occasions I have been to clubs (and I always attend not expecting to play, just hoping).

But there have been times when I thought I may not play as I wasn't feeling the right vibe until late into the evening, and I think I would be more than willing now to not play if I wasn't really into it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ethnmelvCouple
over a year ago

Cardiff

"I always put meets up when going to a club,so often someone messages who I've played with before so we often play again

Also someone new messages and if we get a connection through chatting here,and the attraction is there we may play,if connect in person

I'm quite happy socializing if nothing happens for me on the night,but generally I do play Atleast once

I'm a great believer in statuses and meets when going somewhere

This is broadly what we do, sometimes people contact and say they’ll be there, sometimes they don’t make it. We have probably played more on our own than with others, but we are always open to have a chat and see how it goes

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have put statuses up saying when and where we are going but often it just gets the complete opposite of what we are looking for or we get weirdos coming up to us at the club saying "i know who you are" !!!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Think we must be putting too much pressure on ourselves (or mainly J is) as we thought if we're there we should be joining in Lol. Weird thing is like others have said, there's probably more pressure to play when we have a private meet than there is in a club and yet we're fine with that. Go figure?

Think J needs to sit down, chill out and go with the flow a bit more lol. If we're ever at Quest again, please feel free to come and say hello, you'll recognise us from the tattoos and the beard (that's J not A lol)

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I go too clubs and party’s every other weekend and hosted my own ... I look at it as going for a social night and then what comes after that it comes tho I must add I always ride either a unicorn or a stallion around any club/party I attend

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lik and PaulCouple
over a year ago

cahoots

For us it's whatever we feel like on the day. We have been and not played with anyone and have also played for hours with multiple people....there's no expectation so we just relax and enjoy ourselves.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

It’s incredibly rare I play at clubs. Take away the smokers and those shorter than me and there’s often nothing left.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uckslut and MCouple
over a year ago

Poole

We go to a club with 100% of intention of playing.

Swinging for us is unplanned sex with strangers mulitiple or other.

Although it's planned as takes a lot of effort to get to a club. None in our local area.

We still have fun with each other even if no one else plays.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *he fab twoCouple
over a year ago

brentwood

Why not put post up stating where your going so you can chat to a few couples before you go and work out which ones may be possibles first

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *roticaCouple
over a year ago

Gloucestershire

only been to 2 clubs and played in both. Agreed it was difficult to find a chap that was our type and each visit there were only a couple of chaps that Marilyn fancied. But they were attracted to her like magnets.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ffanotdykeCouple
over a year ago

Telford

We go to Chams roughly twice a month in the evenings and probably end up playing once in every three visits.

What surprises us is that there is usually a flurry of activity up until about 9.00pm and then it goes quiet. Then it seems to kick off again about 10.30pm usually when we are planning on leaving. As we normally cant get there until about 8.30-8.45pm it can leave us a tad frustrated!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We just go to clubs with the intention of having a laugh. We expect nothing more than a night out and a giggle.

In the 10% of times we come away having just had a laugh we don't feel disappointed.

Also, with a club, you can experiment more. If you arrange a meet on line you have to jump through certain hoops. Do we like them? Do they like us? What are boundaries? Social first? All that sort of stuff and as you're investing time in it you want the best meet possible.

None of that in a club. You just chat to people, a certain spark occurs and that's it. There's also the fact that we aren't tied to each other in a club (just our way). If one fancies a couple but the other doesn't we are free each free to enjoy that.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Used to go to clubs twice a month. Now more like once every 3 or 6 months

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *carlettxWoman
over a year ago

Essex

Not as often as I’d like lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *arnsleycouple7683Couple
over a year ago

Barnsley

We've been several times and we've always been with the intention of playing with other people, but it has hardly ever happened.

We're not very forward, so we don't approach people. It's the fear of rejection I guess.

So we head to the dark room and just start playing with each other, in the hopes that someone will ask to join in...

Problem is that very rarely happens! People just seem to get on with what they're doing, and they ignore us.

So we've put a halt on going to clubs for the time being. What with having to organise babysitting, hotel, taxi, and then pay entry, it seems like a very expensive way to just play with each other when we can do that for fee at home!

We're not particularly picky, which is why we like the dark room, because it sort of means we don't have to go on looks, but we don't have the nerve to actually start asking people if they'd like to play. That's the problem.

Hubby has started contemplating just doing a general shout out in the dark room "does anybody want to play?!" instead of asking a specific person / couple directly, but I'm nervous that people will just think we're obnoxious!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How often do I visit a club?

On average once a month.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We find that a lot of people go to clubs specifically to play with people they've arranged to meet beforehand... "

I went to Cupid's last week and in the locker rooms there was this young couple, him mobile phone in hand. As my Beau and I are vividly against being recorded on mobile devices, inevitably, I made a light-hearted comment about it, such as, 'oh, are you looking up someone to meet from fabs?' Which was indeed the case. But the guy said, the other couple had gone to another club and now they needed to go there too. I said I thought that was a bit late and did they really not mind having paid the entrance already?

They then seemed to spend aaaaaages waiting in the locker rooms, but eventually both stayed in the club and we saw them wander around a bit and go in to rooms too.

Morale of the story: How endlessly boring being SO fixated on having to meet that ONE couple you have spoke to online just to miss out on meeting everyone else who is already there in the club! Some people really do prefer the internet over real life.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We've been several times and we've always been with the intention of playing with other people, but it has hardly ever happened.

We're not very forward, so we don't approach people. It's the fear of rejection I guess.

So we head to the dark room and just start playing with each other, in the hopes that someone will ask to join in...

Problem is that very rarely happens! People just seem to get on with what they're doing, and they ignore us.

I think an awful lot of people in clubs are quite anxious about being rejected, or don't quite know how approach others. I think sex clubs are the last bastion of British reserve!

Next time you go, look around and you will see other couples doing the same. They're just as worried.

Just remember, it's a sex club, not the London Underground where talking to strangers is forbidden.

I would shout out in the dark room though. Not unless you have a big stick to beat some of the fuckers off!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *andb69Couple
over a year ago

leeds

We almost always play when we go to a club, sometimes two or three times in an evening. This is probably because we are happy to play with single (straight) guys and it's usually easier to find one or more single guys to join us that it is to find a couple that appeals to us both, and there are always plenty of single guys. This means that I get to indulge my love of moresomes but don't get to play girl on girl as much as I would like

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hamboy69Man
over a year ago

huddersfield

It's pretty much like any night out if you sit in a corner and avoid eye contact and ignore everyone you'll pretty much be ignored.Put in a little effort and everyone has fun.

That said I only attend decent clubs

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ethnmelvCouple
over a year ago

Cardiff

"We've been several times and we've always been with the intention of playing with other people, but it has hardly ever happened.

We're not very forward, so we don't approach people. It's the fear of rejection I guess.

So we head to the dark room and just start playing with each other, in the hopes that someone will ask to join in...

Problem is that very rarely happens! People just seem to get on with what they're doing, and they ignore us.

the idea of shouting sounds like fun! Totally get your point, sometimes people are a bit slow to get started - when we arrive at 10pm, we’re usually inackered by 1am and wanting to head home

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

This thread has been interesting reading, particularly from the couples' perspective, thank you to all those for being so open

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hamboy69Man
over a year ago

huddersfield

"We almost always play when we go to a club, sometimes two or three times in an evening. This is probably because we are happy to play with single (straight) guys and it's usually easier to find one or more single guys to join us that it is to find a couple that appeals to us both, and there are always plenty of single guys. This means that I get to indulge my love of moresomes but don't get to play girl on girl as much as I would like"

After looking at your pictures it doesn't suprise me you have lots of fun in clubs.You are the sort of people that make clubs worth visiting

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *reokinkMan
over a year ago

London

We've only been a couple for just over a year. Because of that we are trying to be mindful not to let swinging dominate too much of what we do.

On average we probably go to clubs and spas 3 times over a two month period but we don't always play with others.

As mentioned by others a bit of chat before the night does make it easier to meet new people. So we usually put something in our updates and meets beforehand.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread