FabSwingers.com forum: A modest proposal....

By *emima_puddlefuck OP Couple
over a year ago

hexham

Given that there are hundreds of websites for people looking for affairs, and escorts for those with the cash, if i ran the site(and i know i don't) i would ban people cheating on here.

My argument would be that this is a swinging site, swinging is a broad church, but just as admin say certain topics or pics are better off on specialist fet sites,i say so are the marrieds here without their spouses knowledge and consent

Any thoughts ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It would be difficult to police, as it would be difficult to ascertain if one is genuinely single, IMHO.

Personally I do not object to peeps who are attached/married being on here, providing they are honest and upfront about their situation.

This way, anyone who may be interested in playing with them can make an informed choice whether to do so or not.

Just because someone is playing away does not necessarily make him/her a bad person. They have their reasons, even though I may not agree with them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No its none of anyones buisness if people want to cheat, people always have and always will. How would they prove their not single?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not the moral police. Friends and family would question my moral compass being here.

There are married couples that only meet attached "singles".

Make your preferences known, enjoy the site how you want and allow adults to make their choices...just don't lecture me about mine.

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By *emima_puddlefuck OP Couple
over a year ago

hexham

"It would be difficult to police, as it would be difficult to ascertain if one is genuinely single, IMHO.

Personally I do not object to peeps who are attached/married being on here, providing they are honest and upfront about their situation.

This way, anyone who may be interested in playing with them can make an informed choice whether to do so or not.

Just because someone is playing away does not necessarily make him/her a bad person. They have their reasons, even though I may not agree with them.

Good points, but i see it as about consistency, i am not a bad person cos of what Sir does to me, but i can't put the pics on here. Which is cos its a swining site not a bdsm site. So i broaden that, there are places for the cheaters, let them use those.

At the very least we wud get fewer threads where they try to justify their actions

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It would be difficult to police, as it would be difficult to ascertain if one is genuinely single, IMHO.

Personally I do not object to peeps who are attached/married being on here, providing they are honest and upfront about their situation.

This way, anyone who may be interested in playing with them can make an informed choice whether to do so or not.

Just because someone is playing away does not necessarily make him/her a bad person. They have their reasons, even though I may not agree with them.

applauds ..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No its none of anyones buisness if people want to cheat, people always have and always will. How would they prove their not single?"

exactly and if yr honest about it....why not ..

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By *emima_puddlefuck OP Couple
over a year ago

hexham

"No its none of anyones buisness if people want to cheat, people always have and always will. How would they prove their not single?"

You ignore my point, yes they do it, but this is a swinging site, horses for courses as they say.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No its none of anyones buisness if people want to cheat, people always have and always will. How would they prove their not single?

You ignore my point, yes they do it, but this is a swinging site, horses for courses as they say."

soooo its a swinging site...you dont set the rules...there are all sorts on here...get over it..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are many threads that have subject matters that are of no interest to me, and I do not participate in them.

I have requested in the past to have a thread preview feature, so that when one hovers the cursor over the thread, it would show a short paragraph of the first post, as seen on another board that I frequent.

This way, I can decided whether to participate or not without having to open the thread.

Perhaps I should re-request for this feature again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes, my thoughts are- how can you tell who is or is not a genuine swinger and who is not?

One of the things I love about this site is the diversity, which would be lessened if these perameters were put in place.

And how would you propose to put them in place, exactly?

And you run the very real risk of those that would otherwise be upfront about their marital status, lying to get on here, thus making it worse for all concerned.

At least the way things are now, if you want to, its easier (albeit not impossible) to avoid those that proclaim their married status openly, if you see what I mean?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No its none of anyones buisness if people want to cheat, people always have and always will. How would they prove their not single?

You ignore my point, yes they do it, but this is a swinging site, horses for courses as they say."

Who died and made you the moral guardian of swinging?

Ever heard of free will? How about relatively intelligent, grown up people making up their own minds because you clearly don't want them to do so...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I will admit I see your point..that we as people that enjoy a commited bdsm relationship have to actually watch what we say.. because this is a swinging site not a bdsm site..and I do think that some of that is wrong.. as its part of my sex life.

but...

I dont think that preventing cheaters would work.. or be practical.. but as I have said many times I prefer married men... so of course i would say that..

the fact is as its already been stated... that all that would happen is people would not be honest. I prefer to at least know. as that way I know if i can text or talk in between meets.

Cali

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No its none of anyones buisness if people want to cheat, people always have and always will. How would they prove their not single?

You ignore my point, yes they do it, but this is a swinging site, horses for courses as they say.

Who died and made you the moral guardian of swinging?

Ever heard of free will? How about relatively intelligent, grown up people making up their own minds because you clearly don't want them to do so..."

+1..

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

There have been many threads telling us that singles cannot be swingers as its a couples only pursuit. If this site was to become a swingers only site, what would happen to all the singles?

I think being intolerant of others is the wrong way to go. Who knows whats in store for any of us a couple of years down the line. Who is to say that someone in a committed swinging relationship won't get bored, or fall in love with someone else? Today of all days we should realsie that life can change within a second.

Live and let live. If you don't like cheaters, don't meet them. If you don't like singles, don't meet them. But shaming and driving them away is not tolerant behaviour.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally if i were to ban anyone it would be the narrow minded and bigoted people who live in a bubble of conformity and pass judgment on people en masse with no knowledge of their reasons or circumstance.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

What you are saying makes perfect sense in theory.

In practise it's impossible to achieve and not everyone wants it.

I'd argue that as a single woman I cannot be a swinger.

Shall we all go too ?

All the single men?

The separated?

The ones I find difficult to say yes to are the 'recently come out of a relationship and want some fun brigade' It's all semantics they just want to fuck a barn door to relieve their emotional hurt....... I fancy being a remedy less than i do being dirty secret.

People commiting infidelity are answerable to themselves and their spouses but to the person who says it's no ones business......wrong! It's my business if they contact me.

I say leave the door open for EVERYONE. It's up to other adults to make their choices.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Oh ....HUGE p.s. To those that make endless excuses for lying to spouses. I'll never be converted. It's dispicable.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It all boils down to whether or not you believe what anyone on here tells you.

Perhaps we could also banish the fatties, the skinnies, the baldies, the hairies, the shorties the lankies, etc, etc, to their own sites.

I think that as adults, most of us seem to get by ok living our everyday lives, some of us mix with all sorts while some of us may decide to pick our friends and playmates using different selection criteria.

I like Fab, just the way it is. We sometimes choose to play with people who just might have "issues", but they are their "issues" and fook all to do with us

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Does this mean we'd all need to take a Jeremey Kyle lie detector test before we can join the site ?

Silly idea, it would never work.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"Given that there are hundreds of websites for people looking for affairs, and escorts for those with the cash, if i ran the site(and i know i don't) i would ban people cheating on here.

Any thoughts ?"

Hmmm I would ask how would that be policed?

I would also say what people get up to with their private life is their business and not anyone else's, no matter if we agree with or not.

The site obviously set down rules of what they want on the site so your issues with pics and things isn't really connected.

Although yes, swinging normally involves couples,but does that mean only couples allowed too?....if so then that would mean no singles would be allowed on here, and thats who we look for ....err this is a bad idea Jem, we would lose our fun !!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Perhaps we could also banish the fatties, the skinnies, the baldies, the hairies, the shorties the lankies, etc, etc, to their own sites.

if ya gonna banish lankies, make sure you banish the yorkies too

Wolf

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Would be hard to police indeed, and even if you did find away there would always be some that slipped through the cracks!

Also there are some, who according to their profiles, have permission for cheating etc. Maybe they need to have their partner email in to admin to confirm it then they can have a genuine cheat tick on their profile.

And have you ever seen some forum posts where a guy, stating single, then posts about how last week him and his wife did this or last night at a party he did this with his partner! Sort of dropping themselves in it!

At the end of the day though, there is no rules to say cheats or anyone else can't join the site. Well other than those under age! Oh and mythical creatures!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It all boils down to whether or not you believe what anyone on here tells you.

Perhaps we could also banish the fatties, the skinnies, the baldies, the hairies, the shorties the lankies, etc, etc, to their own sites.

I like Fab, just the way it is. We sometimes choose to play with people who just might have "issues", but they are their "issues" and fook all to do with us

Coming soon from Fab, the site that brought you fab swingers and fab guys new sites including fab shorties, fab cheats, fab Audi owners, fab city folk, fab illegal immigrants and many more........

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Would be hard to police indeed, and even if you did find away there would always be some that slipped through the cracks!

At the end of the day though, there is no rules to say cheats or anyone else can't join the site. Well other than those under age! Oh and mythical creatures!

well im a mythical creature...even though i have said my prayers today lol..

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"Personally if i were to ban anyone it would be the narrow minded and bigoted people who live in a bubble of conformity and pass judgment on people en masse with no knowledge of their reasons or circumstance."

love it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This thread, along with a number of others this week, highlights a very real issue for the swinging community. The fun is going out of it (in general, I still have fun and many more do, but the over-riding theme on these forums is one of disenchantment rather than liberation)

I really do not mind, if someone I am meeting is cheating (hey that rhymes), similarly I am not just in this for a quick "bunk-up". I am looking to make friends with funny and sexy people that love to explore their boundaries and glory in their sexual freedoms.

Reading some of the profiles (Must have this, must do that, must be a tenor etc.), is a direct reflection of today's "I get what I want society", but swinging was never about that in the past, it was about a group of people, having fun in a sexually active way, sometimes there was physical attraction, sometimes we were attracted by personalities. The bottom line was simple, we had fun. Now its all caveats and regulations, rules and guidelines. So much for swinging being liberating, it now appears to be constrained by rule-sets designed by people that require a degree of conformity. Swinging is the antithesis of conforming, you are not monogamous, you are happy to explore and share in that exploration.

I do think some people should re-evaluate why they are on this (and other sites), if they wish to constrain other users with rules and regulations that suit a "constrained" rather than a "liberal" lifestyle.

Anyway... lol, I am divorced, got a cerfificate and everyfing, wanna see?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's evolution, like it or hate it, people will use the site how they want, what was good at one time may still be for some but for others they wish to use the site in the way they wish.

The thing is, with this what's good for the goose isn't always good for the gander!

But the bottoms line

Is the site is fine

And i for one

Am having fun

Now that's how to rhyme hehe

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

"No its none of anyones buisness if people want to cheat, people always have and always will. How would they prove their not single?

exactly and if yr honest about it....why not .."

Honest about it.... oh fuck me that's funny.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would also say what people get up to with their private life is their business and not anyone else's, no matter if we agree with or not.

I couldn't agree more...the state of other peoples relationships outside of the boundaries of our particular encounter is nothing to do with us...let them look to their own consciences and deal with their own relationship...for the same reason that ours is our own also...

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"No its none of anyones buisness if people want to cheat, people always have and always will. How would they prove their not single?

exactly and if yr honest about it....why not ..

Honest about it.... oh fuck me that's funny."

my only concern is the honesty between me and the person i am meeting, it is up to them to be honest with their wife or husband, their life, their consequences, their problem

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

my only concern is the honesty between me and the person i am meeting, it is up to them to be honest with their wife or husband, their life, their consequences, their problem"

I see it the same..

cali

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would also say what people get up to with their private life is their business and not anyone else's, no matter if we agree with or not.

was tempted to do that sheep thing and put +1 (baaa!) lol

though i do like the thought of the Jeremy Kyle lie detector! imagine the results! All those people who say "will not play with bi folk, no never nope nope nope"

And suddenly.....

50% of the guys they meet turn out to have been bi! hehe

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

"No its none of anyones buisness if people want to cheat, people always have and always will. How would they prove their not single?

exactly and if yr honest about it....why not ..

Honest about it.... oh fuck me that's funny.

my only concern is the honesty between me and the person i am meeting, it is up to them to be honest with their wife or husband, their life, their consequences, their problem"

Until your address turns up in the family car satnav.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No its none of anyones buisness if people want to cheat, people always have and always will. How would they prove their not single?

exactly and if yr honest about it....why not ..

Honest about it.... oh fuck me that's funny.

my only concern is the honesty between me and the person i am meeting, it is up to them to be honest with their wife or husband, their life, their consequences, their problem

Until your address turns up in the family car satnav."

that is hilarious!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Until your address turns up in the family car satnav."

I never give anyone my home address for a first meet.. they go to my local tescos and ring me from there... and its a playphone they ring..

Cali

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd say don't be to quick to judge.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Until your address turns up in the family car satnav.

I never give anyone my home address for a first meet.. they go to my local tescos and ring me from there... and its a playphone they ring..

Cali "

they then have to strip and run through the water fountain to destroy all tracking and listening devices and put on the clothes in the bag tucked under the bench.

Once they have done this they receive a call on a disposable phone in the bag with further instructions!

(fades out to mission impossible theme!)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

they then have to strip and run through the water fountain to destroy all tracking and listening devices and put on the clothes in the bag tucked under the bench.

Once they have done this they receive a call on a disposable phone in the bag with further instructions!

(fades out to mission impossible theme!)

Dont give my ideas.. but seriously never ever give my address out even when meeting till they ring me.. means that only people that actually intend to meet get my address..

Cali

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

they then have to strip and run through the water fountain to destroy all tracking and listening devices and put on the clothes in the bag tucked under the bench.

Once they have done this they receive a call on a disposable phone in the bag with further instructions!

(fades out to mission impossible theme!)

Dont give my ideas.. but seriously never ever give my address out even when meeting till they ring me.. means that only people that actually intend to meet get my address..

Cali "

do you hide in the bushes opposite watching them?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

do you hide in the bushes opposite watching them?"

There are no bushes and no.. lol as I would not be out dressed in my underwear.. well actually thats not true.. but... I havent time to watch them.. they get about an hour from getting in the house lol

cali

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We are forever being told in these forums that the people on this site are friendly, unjudgemental and liberated

In some cases this seems to be bollocks

We keep being lectured about 'cheats' and 'adultery' and that 'proper swinging' is different. Why is it ?

Whether you are both involved or both know makes no difference in the eyes of the law - you are still shagging someone else and therefore being unfaithful

Leave the bullying where it belongs - in the playground - and let people live their lives they way they choose to !!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Given that there are hundreds of websites for people looking for affairs, and escorts for those with the cash, if i ran the site(and i know i don't) i would ban people cheating on here. "

What an interesting thread, and mostly sensible comments LOL! Personally, I don't play with cheats, so I wouldn't miss 'em if there was a way to ban 'em from the site .... but many people would say that I shouldn't be on this site either (as a single female who only plays with single males, I can't be a 'swinger').

So I guess overall, I'll have to agree with the 'live and let live' brigade

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We are forever being told in these forums that the people on this site are friendly, unjudgemental and liberated

In some cases this seems to be bollocks

We keep being lectured about 'cheats' and 'adultery' and that 'proper swinging' is different. Why is it ?

Whether you are both involved or both know makes no difference in the eyes of the law - you are still shagging someone else and therefore being unfaithful

Leave the bullying where it belongs - in the playground - and let people live their lives they way they choose to !!"

at last someone who has sense ..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Couldn't agree more!

And isn't it just a wee bit ironic that these folk who want to impose a load of rules and regulations on us, are supposedly liberated swingers???

Hilarious if it wasn't so pathetic!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No its none of anyones buisness if people want to cheat, people always have and always will. How would they prove their not single?

exactly and if yr honest about it....why not ..

Honest about it.... oh fuck me that's funny.

my only concern is the honesty between me and the person i am meeting, it is up to them to be honest with their wife or husband, their life, their consequences, their problem"

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

Why do some people insist on trying to marginalise another group of people? Swinging is meant to be fun aint it? Never mind what other people are doing.

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

Ps ..we dont meet anyone who wears green tee shirts, they look like a lump of snot

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why do some people insist on trying to marginalise another group of people? Swinging is meant to be fun aint it? Never mind what other people are doing.

You will find some get bitter and resentful of others. Live and let live they say but many people don't like to see others enjoying themselves.

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

"Why do some people insist on trying to marginalise another group of people? Swinging is meant to be fun aint it? Never mind what other people are doing.

You will find some get bitter and resentful of others. Live and let live they say but many people don't like to see others enjoying themselves. "

I have no problem with seeing people enjoy themselves.... I have a problem with people being hurt as a result of it.

People keep saying this should be fun.... real fun does not travel on the same path as heart breaking sorrow.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I`ll have an opinion on a married bloke, lying, cheating and having unprotected sex behind his wifes back...

I`ve also known a pregnant woman do the same....

I have an opinion...it won`t be tolerant...it won`t be amoral....

It will be my opinion....yer don`t like it ....tough ...

I won`t condone and appease this behaviour with silence...

These same people mail me and by association try and implicate me in their squalid lives....

There tis...have fun...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i could be married but you'd never know if i was lying or not

People only know others are married or not because people are honest and upfront. Its only down to information supplied tonight site when a profile is created we'd know.

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By *ussiebloke40Man
over a year ago

kings lynn

"Ps ..we dont meet anyone who wears green tee shirts, they look like a lump of snot

OI watch it,

I resemble that remark!

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By *emima_puddlefuck OP Couple
over a year ago

hexham

"Why do some people insist on trying to marginalise another group of people? Swinging is meant to be fun aint it? Never mind what other people are doing.

You will find some get bitter and resentful of others. Live and let live they say but many people don't like to see others enjoying themselves.

I have no problem with seeing people enjoy themselves.... I have a problem with people being hurt as a result of it.

People keep saying this should be fun.... real fun does not travel on the same path as heart breaking sorrow."

What more can i say...

The idea that if you have NSA sex means you have no moral compass just makes me giggle. i assume then those saying anything goes think escorts and peodophiles(not that i catagorise them together )should be allowed.After all this is just a site for anyone to slake any sexual urge they have ?

As for the singles who have posted,i'm not trying to say what swinging is, just what it is not...

An an bitter,untwisted, but been around the block a few times woman

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Any adult on this site is entitled to be here for the purposes of swinging.

Escorts are entitled to be here if they are swinging. They are not allowed to use this site for financial gain.

Paedophiles are unlikely to be here as there are no under 18s on the site and they are unlikely to be titillated by adult men and women.

This site is aimed for the tamer end of the scene. Recreational sex between consenting adults with fairly mild kinks. It is unlikely to appeal to the extreme BDSM world as a good proportion of people on here find violence towards others offensive. However the issue is consent and therefore the specialised sites. Cater for this more appropriately.

Being married but playing away is not a criminal offence or considered enough of a social stigma to be segregated to a specialist site.

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By *emima_puddlefuck OP Couple
over a year ago

hexham

"Any adult on this site is entitled to be here for the purposes of swinging.

Escorts are entitled to be here if they are swinging. They are not allowed to use this site for financial gain.

Paedophiles are unlikely to be here as there are no under 18s on the site and they are unlikely to be titillated by adult men and women.

Being married but playing away is not a criminal offence or considered enough of a social stigma to be segregated to a specialist site. "

But there are specialist sites that cater for it Iconic, so why not encourage those to be used?

As for the escorts arguement ,advertising services breaks no law,so why not ?

The pedophile arguement comes from my experiences "over the road" where they used to use a chat room to hook up.

What i am saying is that we make some moral judgments already on this site.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its one thing chatting on here and finding out if a person is married or not. But how do you know they are being honest. And do you ask the indepth questions within a club or or group situation do you just go with it and play or do you stop and ask every guy if they are married.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know what you're saying Jem but I think there are degrees of what people find acceptable and if you segregated the cheaters then they would just lie and come back on anyway, but soon other non conventional types may become excluded, ie women over a size 16, smokers, men below 6ft, women bigger than a DD cup size.

There are some who may find your harmless references to your master offensive as this site is not set up for the BDSM scene. Some may say that referring to a stranger as Sir and talking about him more regularly than your own husband offensive. In the BDSM world I should imagine that is quite harmless. (That's just an example and not my own thoughts).

I just don't think you could ever police it and everyone has their own personal limits, its not such an awful terrible thing to some. The best way is what we do here, use our own judgement and don't meet those that lifestyles offend us

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

Regarding your post title by the way, Jonathon Swift was being satirical. Maybe you are too but judging from previous posts I doubt it. Next time it might be worth just calling it 'this is what I want the site to do now, waah waah!'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Given that there are hundreds of websites for people looking for affairs, and escorts for those with the cash, if i ran the site(and i know i don't) i would ban people cheating on here.

Any thoughts ?"

You say married people. Married couples are a dying breed.

People living together are technically single. So you would have to say cheating in a relationship not married.

I have cheated on my wife, but have always been up front about being married.

If you could run a sex site and somehow detect people cheating, then I feel your membership would be quite small.

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