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Fantasies of cheating?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I'm in a relationship and quite happy, but recently (last 2 months or so) I've had this huge fantasy about sleeping with another woman. I highly doubt I'd ever do it but I'm seriously fired up every time I think about it.

How do I get over this? Any tips? It's different to other fantasies because there's no way of really 'exploring' it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just put yourself in her shoes (not literally!) How would you feel if you found her fucking behind your back?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is some excellent reading, listening by Esther Perel on Ted Talks and YouTube. She talks about modern day relationships.

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By *loppsyWoman
over a year ago

marlow

Please don’t be offended but I have to ask...... from your post and looking at your profile I’m wondering why you are even on here?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There is some excellent reading, listening by Esther Perel on Ted Talks and YouTube. She talks about modern day relationships. "

"For most couples who come to me — especially in the aftermath of the revelation of an affair, when they are in a state of crisis and fear the loss of a predictable future — they start to have conversations for the first time about love, sex, monogamy, and marriage. Most couples don’t negotiate or don’t even converse about any of these things until the crisis of the affair has actually forced them to. Why does it take infidelity to get us talking about the stuff that should be there from the start?"

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Just put yourself in her shoes (not literally!) How would you feel if you found her fucking behind your back?"

Yeah that's something I think about a lot. I do feel very guilty.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"There is some excellent reading, listening by Esther Perel on Ted Talks and YouTube. She talks about modern day relationships.

"For most couples who come to me — especially in the aftermath of the revelation of an affair, when they are in a state of crisis and fear the loss of a predictable future — they start to have conversations for the first time about love, sex, monogamy, and marriage. Most couples don’t negotiate or don’t even converse about any of these things until the crisis of the affair has actually forced them to. Why does it take infidelity to get us talking about the stuff that should be there from the start?"

"

This is really great, thank you so much! I'm definitely going to give that a look.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Please don’t be offended but I have to ask...... from your post and looking at your profile I’m wondering why you are even on here? "

It's a pretty fair question. I used to be on here properly when I wasn't single. I like reading the forums mainly so kept the account.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We are fickle. We are curious. We are greedy."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Please don’t be offended but I have to ask...... from your post and looking at your profile I’m wondering why you are even on here?

It's a pretty fair question. I used to be on here properly when I wasn't single. I like reading the forums mainly so kept the account. "

I recently was conversing with a 40 year old single male who stated he was done with vanilla life. He wanted kink and only threesomes. He said he was bored with vanilla. However this was just for a season because after the kink 3 some season he was going to get a cute woman to have a normal fulfilling life. If anything I could share with him was to make sure that she was as openminded as him so when times became "boring" at least she would be approachable. It seems that people convey quite a hard exterior on here but in fact what they have and what they want are two very different things. I enjoy challenging self limited beliefs and how people think.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well said !

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