FabSwingers.com forum: cold feet

By *--Cinders--- OP Couple
over a year ago

a place near Blackpool

I arranged a hotel room for an afternoon of fun with a guy travelling up from stoke who wanted to meet up..he picked me up after travelling 70 miles, travelled to hotel, parked up then he turned to me and said, sorry i cant do it, am to nervous..can i take u home, so i asked him what was wrong and he said it was my age..lol....he is 43, ten years younger then me and of course he knew my age before picking me up...has anyone else had similar experiences..?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What a time waster, of his time not only yours

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I arranged a hotel room for an afternoon of fun with a guy travelling up from stoke who wanted to meet up..he picked me up after travelling 70 miles, travelled to hotel, parked up then he turned to me and said, sorry i cant do it, am to nervous..can i take u home, so i asked him what was wrong and he said it was my age..lol....he is 43, ten years younger then me and of course he knew my age before picking me up...has anyone else had similar experiences..?"

Yes its happened to me. The look of disappointment they get when you really are the age they knew you were.

Some lads get carried away by their older woman fantasy and the reality gets too much.

We still enjoyed the evening and stayed and ate for a few hours, as we had common ground other than sex. I would have felt a bit peeved if I'd been carted off home and our past interaction and banter meant nothing. I still meet him for lunch.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

thats such a shame

im hoping that you wasnt out of pocket for this x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a few times although they hadnt traveled as far as 70miles to see me. I admit i was not happy about it. Felt like telling them what i thought of them lol. Maybe if your not sure about someone its better to meet someone who live nearer to you, and maybe arrange to meet two men or more, then if one is no good, you still have another one. Him being younger than you is no excuse cos i have seen younger men, and one who was older than me, off another site. He practicaly insisted i see him so i did, then he said he was too nervous.Never expect too much then you wont be disapointed.

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By *--Cinders--- OP Couple
over a year ago

a place near Blackpool

wasnt nice on the hotel guy, he doesnt charge me much for rooms but he was fully booked but he said i cud use a room for a couple of hours, so i feel bad for letting him down, even though it wasnt my fault..

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

We have a pact with anyone we meet that either party can walk away , even at the very last minute if they change their minds....up to now no one has, and we havn't walked away.

If it did happen and someone said they couldn't go through with it after all, then I would rather have that than someone shag me just because they felt a duty to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

makes my decision to play at clubs even more now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We have a pact with anyone we meet that either party can walk away , even at the very last minute if they change their minds....up to now no one has, and we havn't walked away.

If it did happen and someone said they couldn't go through with it after all, then I would rather have that than someone shag me just because they felt a duty to."

I cooked dinner for the lady in my last meet (because of car trouble, had to make amends), we still ended up, you know......lol

But it started out as dinner...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

when im in a mood its hard to get me out of it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"thats such a shame

im hoping that you wasnt out of pocket for this x"

I only meet locally, I have to eat so no, money never comes into it. I pay for my own food if I meet someone from the internet for a meal out. Its extended socialising for me, away from my normal friends, not a big expensive event. So if it goes pear shaped no harm done.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"thats such a shame

im hoping that you wasnt out of pocket for this x"

I suppose thats the chance everyone takes when meeting up with someone new? even if people meet locally we all have to get there somehow.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well i think thats bloody out of order

If he had said, look ive never done this before and im to nervous to go thro with it, i would have let him off, after all we was all new and nervous once, but to blame your age when he knew how old you was is just flipping stupid

I think a lot of guys get carried away and are that fixed on getting a meet they just agree to meet anyone who says yes and then after wards worry about wether your their type or not

I met a guy once and we was having a drink and he said to me.....your not my type really but ive paid for the hotel rooom now so may as wsell use it lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We have a pact with anyone we meet that either party can walk away , even at the very last minute if they change their minds....up to now no one has, and we havn't walked away.

If it did happen and someone said they couldn't go through with it after all, then I would rather have that than someone shag me just because they felt a duty to."

totally agree

I always arrange to meet for a drink and see how it goes, if someone changed their mind i have no problem with that, after all you dont always click in real life with people you get on with on here

But if he didnt like women her age why agree to meet her?

Thats not changing your mind thats knowing right from the start they not what your looking for surely?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We have a pact with anyone we meet that either party can walk away , even at the very last minute if they change their minds....up to now no one has, and we havn't walked away.

If it did happen and someone said they couldn't go through with it after all, then I would rather have that than someone shag me just because they felt a duty to.

totally agree

I always arrange to meet for a drink and see how it goes, if someone changed their mind i have no problem with that, after all you dont always click in real life with people you get on with on here

But if he didnt like women her age why agree to meet her?

Thats not changing your mind thats knowing right from the start they not what your looking for surely?"

I agree and to be honest he was out of order, no gentleman should have done this (yeah ok, who expects to find a gent on a swinging site...)

Block and move on OP, I am sure that this poor meet will dwindle into the past as other men find you sexy, funny, intelligent (regardless of a number), good luck, and happy meets xx

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By *riseeTV/TS
over a year ago

MacKay

Before the ex was the ex, we had a couple turn up, procrastinate in a grocery store for 10 minutes and decide to leave. Such a shame, it really would have been fun (based on reports from couples since then about me!)

We've had guys telling us they were turning up, we get ready, we wait, we wait, 2 hours passes, we txt, he txts he's in traffic, we wait, nothing happens next day txt says he turned around and went home.

I've had guys turn up to meet me, watched their eyes pop and then say they can't go ahead. Mind you I always dress to impress and he was wearing old trainers, torn track pants, a zip up dirty jacket. *phew*

I've also had a close near miss with one couple who decided to give it a go anyway and see what happens ... and it happened! Wooo! All 8 hours! Didn't sleep, went home, changed and went to Court

Then there was the couple that seemed to think I was going to 'do the guy' for a few hours ... nothing happened and later she told me she was never interested in me anyway. Funny they'd choose to meet with someone who's entire focus is on women with a 'bi-sensual' it's ok to touch me - profile.

I guess for many people it's a slow process of going from dream, to fantasy to reality ...

Don't worry,he'll find another 50 something in a few months and will go ahead

It's how it happens.

xox

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"We have a pact with anyone we meet that either party can walk away , even at the very last minute if they change their minds....up to now no one has, and we havn't walked away.

If it did happen and someone said they couldn't go through with it after all, then I would rather have that than someone shag me just because they felt a duty to.

totally agree

I always arrange to meet for a drink and see how it goes, if someone changed their mind i have no problem with that, after all you dont always click in real life with people you get on with on here

But if he didnt like women her age why agree to meet her?

Thats not changing your mind thats knowing right from the start they not what your looking for surely?"

You really do need to see people in the flesh to see if you want to play with them as sometimes subtle differences in pics or camera angles can change how you view things in real life....you can't blame someone for telling the truth.

He obviously did know the ladies age, just had a change of mind in the flesh.

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By *--Cinders--- OP Couple
over a year ago

a place near Blackpool

yes he knew my age and had seen my pics and we had spoken on the phone..he is new to the site so guess he did get nervous..my point is though he cud of said shall we go for a brew first instead of insisiting on the 30 min drive to hotel just to park up and get cold feet..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 09/09/11 16:35:07]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i would never pay out for a hotel if id never met anyone ...actually i wouldnt pay out for a hotel at all really...but ive had guys get cold feet for sure ...nothing to do with my age tho .....

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By *--Cinders--- OP Couple
over a year ago

a place near Blackpool

he was paying when we got the key, but he didnt even out of the car,

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By *oantrimcpl2010Couple
over a year ago

Lisburn

I think as dissapointing as it might have been at the time. Its better to know someone has got cold feet rather than go through the motions as that in my opinion would make me feel worse. At least he felt he could say he couldnt go through with it.

Thats why we always meet for social 1st now, when we 1st started this we had a few disasters, we where finding our feet and wasnt sure how things worked.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Sorry but I don't think the man has done anything wrong.

No matter what he said or did I doubt you would have been happy with the answer or action as you have been rejected.

I think everyone should be able to change their minds for whatever reason without fear of being slated for it.

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By *oantrimcpl2010Couple
over a year ago

Lisburn

"Sorry but I don't think the man has done anything wrong.

No matter what he said or did I doubt you would have been happy with the answer or action as you have been rejected.

I think everyone should be able to change their minds for whatever reason without fear of being slated for it."

nods in agreement

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By *--Cinders--- OP Couple
over a year ago

a place near Blackpool

i wasnt having a moan at him...fair enough that he got cold feet for whatever reason...i just made my post and asked if anyone had had similar experiences thats all..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sorry but I don't think the man has done anything wrong.

No matter what he said or did I doubt you would have been happy with the answer or action as you have been rejected.

I think everyone should be able to change their minds for whatever reason without fear of being slated for it."

yes i agree

I have met loads of guys ive not played with for verious reasons

but if im going to be honest if i met someone knowing their age id feel a bit of a twat turning them down for that

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Maybe that was the only thing he could think of to say while being put on the spot Naughty? who knows. It takes some guts to actually say sorry but I can't do it.

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By *innamon!Woman
over a year ago

no matter

What a pity .. had you seen each other on cam or was it just a blind meet up. Gosh I would be mortified if that happened. better luck next time. xx

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By *--Cinders--- OP Couple
over a year ago

a place near Blackpool

no we hadnt seen each other on cam but he had seen my pics and we had spoken on the phone a couple of times..guess he had issues and he did lie about having kids, i asked him if he had kids and he said no then said later that he had so guess if he can lie about that he can lie about anything

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fortunately have never experienced this,but it must have been awful for you...hugs for you xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think the guy is totally wrong in wasting your time, if age is a hang up for him.

I had a bit of the reverse on this.

I travelled from Liverpool to Manchester, she'd seen all my pics etc. and when I walked in, she was stunning, she said:

"I'm really sorry but you're not for me, do you want a cuppa before you go? I feel so awful, but I'd prefer to be honest" etc etc

We sat around chatting and putting the world to rights, had a good laugh and got on really well, swapping stories and experiences, good and bad.

I got as far as the front door and she pounced on me, practically raped me in the hallway and we had a great afternoon.

We still chat and get on very well.

Now I prefer new meets to be on neutral ground, to see if there's a mutual click or spark, we can go from there or not.

The last time I met someone for lunch, we didn't half way through our first drink and we ditched the idea of eating, rushed off to get a room lol

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Ok this is getting too personal about the other member now and not just a question of has it happened to you.

Will shut this now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Meeting fer a social drink first is always a good idea....it lessens the expectations....and a face to face is the only true way you know if theres a real attraction...

Least he was honest enough to admit he was ill at ease..

Can`t of been easy fer you OP...but lesson learn`t hopefully x

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