FabSwingers.com forum: Newbies asking the experienced swingers

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

What was your first "experience" with your partner?

How did you both decide/agree on what "experience" you will do?

We have gone to swinging clubs and parties but we arent sure what step to take next. Ie, another couple, single guy or girl or hire a pro.

Were there any issues/factors that came up that you didnt talk about first?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You both need to agree on what you want to try and make sure you set boundaries and stick to them unless all parties involved are happy to go further etc. We started with baby steps in a club like having sex I'm an open play room etc. But best thing is to communicate with each other and make decisions as a couple.

Hope this helps

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By *reenleavesCouple
over a year ago

North Wales

Talk about everything together. Swinging opens up a whole new level of honesty and openness in a relationship if you let it. Set out all of your fantasies and kinks and discuss which (if any) you'd both feel comfortable following.

Discuss any hard or soft limits or boundaries you might have that would create hold-points in a scenario where you'd have to check in with each other to see if it was ok to carry on. Discuss how you might feel jealousy wise if certain situations cropped up.

Once you've covered all that (and keep revisiting it) then you can decide what to do next. Clubs are great for the inexperienced because they open you up to sights and options that you may never have considered. It also creates new discussion points. Talk to the other guests at the club about their experiences and how they got there. Talk to them about your journey and your fantasies and listen to what they tell you. Then discuss that too together.

You will probably not play on your first few visits but you'll define what you're looking for and will probably have made some new friends who could be potential play mates down the line.

Swinging is a journey and not an end destination, as we've found out. Your limits keep changing as do your fantasies and self perception. If you go cautiously then it will be rewarding in the long run. You could obviously also dive right on in but that can leave you open to some disasters (as well as some great experiences).

Good luck!

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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago

Bristol

There’s a link to the story of our first meet at the end of our profile. We had an amazing time (all thanks to Fab!), hope you enjoy yourselves as much as we did.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's all about communication trust and honesty. You both have to be absolutely sure that this is the lifestyle for you. Talk about what you both want from this because once you have had your first meet you cannt turn the clocks back.

Do your research first, find out what this scene is all about as it's not for everyone..... good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We only ever wanted to see what the adult clubs were like. We were NEVER going to involve others. Guess what....?

Watching your partner having sex with someone else is awesome!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We only ever wanted to see what the adult clubs were like. We were NEVER going to involve others. Guess what....?

Watching your partner having sex with someone else is awesome!

For you it's awesome that's good but that doesn't work for everyone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi guys.

I'm very interested in this subject as I've been swinging on my own for a while and, my own opinion is that we can't stop once we've started.

I've met a couple of couples with women I've met on here before and I'm determined now to swing as a couple.

Ive started seeing a girl now that wants to do my bidding so there's an opportunity to explore this with her

I'm very interested to know how other couples have started in this lifestyle

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By *eakcoupleCouple
over a year ago

peak district

Our first swinging experience was on our second club visit when we swapped with another couple and had a soft-swing session. We did everything except fuck swapped, we changed back to our own partners for that but were side by side and in contact. We loved it and played that way on our next visits until Rose felt happy to do her first full swap.

Soft-swinging is a great way to start, we still play that way with some people. Just keep on talking and don't do anything until you are both ready.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Clubs are a great way to get a feel of swinging. There's no pressure to do anything or to join in and quite a few just go for the social activity.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"What was your first "experience" with your partner?

How did you both decide/agree on what "experience" you will do?

We have gone to swinging clubs and parties but we arent sure what step to take next. Ie, another couple, single guy or girl or hire a pro.

Were there any issues/factors that came up that you didnt talk about first?

Our first experience was a threesome with a single guy. We agreed on it because I said I wasn't ready to see Mr N with another woman.

We talked a lot before we even thought about meeting anybody and we still discuss things now.

Only three things have changed as far as our guidelines are concerned and that's we meet couples, we're now soft swing and we don't insist on condoms for oral any more. Although the way we play has evolved beyond recognition.

You need to decide how you want to take the next step, nobody else can decide for you. If you genuinely don't know wait until you do.

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By *oredShitlessxxxCouple
over a year ago

luton

Mff... jumped straight in tbh

Jealousy crept in, we talked and as a consequence learnt. Now over 3 years later we play in a variety of ways and really enjoy the scene together.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You both need to agree on what you want to try and make sure you set boundaries and stick to them unless all parties involved are happy to go further etc. We started with baby steps in a club like having sex I'm an open play room etc. But best thing is to communicate with each other and make decisions as a couple.

Hope this helps

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks guys

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thanks guys"

No problem

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By *ntnCleoCouple
over a year ago

Dortmund (Germany) might travel!

"What was your first "experience" with your partner?

How did you both decide/agree on what "experience" you will do?

We have gone to swinging clubs and parties but we arent sure what step to take next. Ie, another couple, single guy or girl or hire a pro.

Were there any issues/factors that came up that you didnt talk about first?

Ours was a bit of a disaster and probably took 2 years to get over, so you are right to be cautious.

We rushed in. Suddenly agreed on a threesome MMF and in a haze of horniness organized and did it within a few days.

We have slowly recovered and are now much more comfortable exploring enticing sexual scenarios (first BBCs for Cleo the other week for example) but we look back on that first experience and say “what we’re we thinking????”

I’ve nearly finished a book on our journey to here. The first couple of chapters are his and her perspectives on that first encounter. It’s very raw.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Mff... jumped straight in tbh

Jealousy crept in, we talked and as a consequence learnt. Now over 3 years later we play in a variety of ways and really enjoy the scene together.

"
thankyou

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