FabSwingers.com forum: Being 'outed'

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Now, I can't speak for everyone, but I am sure there are a fair few people on here (guys, gals and couples) who, like me, are afraid of being spotted by someone they know, and their extra curricular activities being talked about by all and sundry.

So, my question to you, the lovely people of Fab is: have you ever been 'outed', either to friends, family, or just spotted in the cereal aisle of Waitrose?

Big love

Craig

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By *icheekyMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

I once met someone on here who was having a quiet drink with a friend in their local when some d*unk guy came up to her and shouted out "you're the girl on fab aren't you?"... don't think she was best pleased about it.

Hopefully most people on here are a little more discreet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My boss once cracked a joke about me being a single swinger. Very strange comment to make.

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By *ornyHorwichCpl aka HHCCouple
over a year ago

horwich

Someone in the pub once asked us if we were swingers. No idea where it came from unless someone in Horwich knows what our chameleon necklaces mean.

We just said no.

Anywhere else and we would have said depends who's asking

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No-one knows but we get teased for it.... suspicious....

We nearly got outed in the village, quick profile tweak took care of that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We got home early from a swing date and our son, who's 25, asked, "You're home early, didn't you fancy them then?"

We just said we went to the pub but didn't fancy anymore booze.

He just smiled and carried on watching the tele

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A number of my colleagues are aware of my extra curriculum activities.

If I bounce into work with a smile on my face after a good weekend, they would wink at me, bless them!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not on this site, an ex found my couple profile on a different site and asked if we were up for meeting him!

A different ex became very strange one night, texting me randomly out the blue to say that there was a group of people in the pub he worked at and he reckoned they were dirty swingers. He then went on to say how he couldn't understand how a guy could let someone else sleep with their wife unless they didn't love them blah blah blah. I can only assume he had found out we were swingers and had made up his little scenario to try and have a sly dig at my bf! Weirdo!

We have played with a couple near us and have a mutual friend, the mutual friend has asked us if we know the couple in the same way he knows them, but noone actually wants to come out with it and say we all know each other through swinging as we don't want anyone to think we're not being discrete! Even though we all know that he knows that they know that we know that he knows that...... lol

P x

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By *LBishCouple
over a year ago

near bury st edmunds

Everyone knows we are swingers, nothing to be ashamed of, so dont care if im outed, my life ill do what i please, x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I was on another site, before I met Tod, I would see quite a few guys that I had seen on the site or had messaged me on the bus.

I don't think they ever recognized me though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We got home early from a swing date and our son, who's 25, asked, "You're home early, didn't you fancy them then?"

We just said we went to the pub but didn't fancy anymore booze.

He just smiled and carried on watching the tele

lol that's a classic jack lol.

we were talking the other day about the kids finding out when their older

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My mother found out through nosey neighbours whispering, well she began making odd comments.

So I sat down with her and plied her with alcohol and asked her outright was there anything she wanted to talk to me about.

She asked I said yes! lol

As shocked and as horrified as she now claims to be, it didnt stop her from telling anyone of her friends and our family who would listen to her.

But I agree with previous posts, im not ashamed of what I do. And I wouldnt have my life any other way now.

xxLouisexx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There was also an occasion on here when Irecieved a message from someone whose child I have previously cared for - now that was a panic stricken moment lol

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By *UNCHBOXMan
over a year ago

folkestone

Ive not personally, but i know of a single female a while back(who no longer swings) who was outed at her work place by 2 male immature work colleagues. They printed out her profile and pictures and put them up over her desk. One of them joined the site, didnt anywhere swinging so must have gone through all the local people to see if her knew anyone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah you know that expression its a small world?

One of daughters friends had a mother who used to work at a swingers club i use, i had never met the girls mum before so tho i had seen her at the club many times i had no idea she was my daughters mates mum

However one day my daughter came home after going to this friends house and asked me what what chameleons was

I just looked at her and said its a pub isnt it?

and she said no its a sex club but you'd know that because ****** mum works there and she said shes seen you

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By *arkstaffsMan
over a year ago

Rugeley

Bumped into a bloke from work in Chameleons a couple of years ago. We just had a laugh about it and carried on enjoying the day. Nothing was said at work and there was never any problem.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i loaded up google chrome to show my friend a youtube video.

up came all the squares with links to websites,

fab, dogging, pof lol

he never said fuck all, but it was up ona 42" tv close up in our faces, i never sold it and opened up youtube, then a few weeks later when i got a text he said so you still meeting people up off the internet still? lol

then started to go on how its mad how all different girls and pussy were all different in so many ways. so yeah i think he knows i use sites like this hahaha

my old fuck buddy had her sister use the laptop and dogging site come up, she was like have u been letting the lads use your computer again? she was like why? say dogging and was like errrr yes i'll kill them lads when i see them lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

hi gals n guys new on here,just read about the laugh ure havin ,,yes i met 1 of my guys mates at a swing club he cudnt hack it n left vry quickly ,i nearly p.. ...msl ,,hope u dnt mind me join in liz,,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I once bumped into Madchick in a car park, and called out "Madchick" to her, not knowing she has relatives in the car!

She did give me a telling off later!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Surely in most if not all cases, anyone who has the knowledge to out any of us they probably are also in danger of being outed,

due to being on here or attending a meet or club night,

not sure sure how i'd react to it though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have nothing to hide for being here and for my life style choices. So I don't worry about being outed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Now, I can't speak for everyone, but I am sure there are a fair few people on here (guys, gals and couples) who, like me, are afraid of being spotted by someone they know, and their extra curricular activities being talked about by all and sundry.

So, my question to you, the lovely people of Fab is: have you ever been 'outed', either to friends, family, or just spotted in the cereal aisle of Waitrose?

Big love

Craig

Yes someone I deemed a very good friend.. actually found out by accident.. she asked lots of questions..and actually for a while was my camera person...

When my Master basically didnt return her flirting she rang social services and told them I was holding mass orgies ( I wish) and reported me for always wearing fetish gear...

Also she told all her friends that I was a swinger and had had at least 20 men in the previous two months..

It back fired because everyone asked me stuff.. social services were soon got rid of, and actually everyone decided she was un trust worthly.. I have a few of the mums at the school that give me dirty looks when their husbands say hi.. but thats about it..

but it could have been a lot worse..

oh also been spotted in Asda, and recognised after a cam show the night before.. was many years ago though lol

Cali

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By *obletonMan
over a year ago

A Home Among The Woodland Creatures

I once messaged a woman on here only to receive a reply saying " OMG (my real name inc surname) you are the last person I'd expect to see on here"

To which I replied that if she really knew me that well it should come as no surprise at all

never found out who it was tho

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

closet ive got is a guy message me saying i saw you on the bus today even told me where i was sat

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We would love to come out but one of us works with children, people can be so judgemental and wrong! Just to stop the _umours and things. Oh well, will have to be our little secret.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We are super discrete because of our jobs ... I would be utterly mortified if anyone I knew 'found out'

I can also imagine that if work found out I'd be having words from the boss!!

One of my best girlfriends knows what we do... She always wants to know what we've been up to!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pretty much everybody that knows me knows what I do

People found out over the years never yet had a negative reaction to it

Intact some people are more than interested sometimes xx

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By *ayne n JockCouple
over a year ago

Dunfermline

As a newbie, this is something that we have thought of .. bumping into someone in the meat isle of the supermarket LOL For that reason we are looking outside our postcode but if we are all doing that then we will surely 'bump bodies' with someone at a party anyway haha

We say 'what the hell' .. all in same 'club' and not embarrassed about it .. anyone that knows us in reality .. knows we are 'friendly' people hahaha x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i met a couple on here who accidently outed themselves to their kids school teacher, they gave a memory stick full of photos to them thinking it was the memory stick with the kids home work on.

no it was the special memory stick they are meant to be hidden away in the bedroom, full of photos of all sorts of private things they like to get up to

lmao.

they said the teacher has never looked them in the eye ever again and had to give them the stick back and say that there was no homework on it

haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i met a couple on here who accidently outed themselves to their kids school teacher, they gave a memory stick full of photos to them thinking it was the memory stick with the kids home work on.

no it was the special memory stick they are meant to be hidden away in the bedroom, full of photos of all sorts of private things they like to get up to

lmao.

they said the teacher has never looked them in the eye ever again and had to give them the stick back and say that there was no homework on it

haha"

Meep! lol I'd have died lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We got home early from a swing date and our son, who's 25, asked, "You're home early, didn't you fancy them then?"

We just said we went to the pub but didn't fancy anymore booze.

He just smiled and carried on watching the tele

We had the same with our 21 yrd acouple of weeks ago same thing got home early and he asked why were home so early..... they arnt stupid 95% sure he knows

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By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex

I threw a party at Chams some time back and a female friend from Yorkshire brought a guest from London. When I met then to welcome them (he was standing behind her) he took his flap cap off to reveal... My boss!

We had a good laugh as he was one I'd the ones that assumed I was honestly a virgin

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im afraid my 'outing' story wasnt very funny, someone sent a copy of my profile (from another site) to my employer and it led to me being sacked.

Its worked out well for me as it forced me to make major changes and my life is now so much better, but it wasnt much fun at the time.

I mistakenly beleived that pictures on a private site would be private but it seems their is no such privacy in the internet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i have never been outed but some work mates who i know, know that i swing and they dont mention it at work

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Everyone knows we swing and ate always asking about clubs and what goes on, we play on this and they then think we're making it all up....you can't win! Xxx

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By *LBishCouple
over a year ago

near bury st edmunds

I cant understand why being found out for being a swinger would affect anyones job. What effect does being a swinger have to do with how you do your job Etc etc. Disgusting if you are working with children or not or armed forces no matter what job you do, being a swinger does not make any difference. PPl and emplyers should get a grip and join the real world, and not be so judgmental. Really gets my back up, why should you get the sack just for being a swinger?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I cant understand why being found out for being a swinger would affect anyones job. What effect does being a swinger have to do with how you do your job Etc etc. Disgusting if you are working with children or not or armed forces no matter what job you do, being a swinger does not make any difference. PPl and emplyers should get a grip and join the real world, and not be so judgmental. Really gets my back up, why should you get the sack just for being a swinger? "

Can you imagine the press reaction if a teacher, solicitor, barrister, social worker etc were outed as swingers?!

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By *LBishCouple
over a year ago

near bury st edmunds

Can you imagine the press reaction if a teacher, solicitor, barrister, social worker etc were outed as swingers?!"

Yes but why? dont mean you would do your job any worse than the day before you got found out for being a swinger. PPl need to get a grip sex if not dirty or pervy.

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By *ayne n JockCouple
over a year ago

Dunfermline

I think most people do their job better [and cope with the crap life throws at you] when they are happy

Loads of sex eases stress .. exercises the heart / muscles / works on calming Blood Pressure etc .. so that certainly makes you happy LOL

It's a WIN / WIN in my book

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By *arkstaffsMan
over a year ago

Rugeley

Most of them at work know about my lifestyle and don't even mention it. They did at first, after I told them, but its old news now. A couple of them also partake anyway so its no big deal.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can you imagine the press reaction if a teacher, solicitor, barrister, social worker etc were outed as swingers?!"

I could not only be sacked but struck off the professional register for bringing my profession into disrepute...

It wouldn't affect how well I could do my job but would seriously affect my credibility and how I was viewed professionally-unfair? absolutely but it's the way things are presently...

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By *amschwingerzCouple
over a year ago

West

"Yeah you know that expression its a small world?

However one day my daughter came home after going to this friends house and asked me what what chameleons was

I just looked at her and said its a pub isnt it?

and she said no its a sex club but you'd know that because ****** mum works there and she said shes seen you

That completely redefines the word 'cuntish'...what a mouthy cow..you should have gone to the club and told her bosses...

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By *umourCouple
over a year ago

Rushden

I could not only be sacked but struck off the professional register for bringing my profession into disrepute...

It wouldn't affect how well I could do my job but would seriously affect my credibility and how I was viewed professionally-unfair? absolutely but it's the way things are presently..."

Well, if that ever happened, you could be the trailblazer that tests out the Sexual Discrimination laws! It is an offence to discriminate on grounds of sexual orientation! Although it is said not to apply to swingers, I would think that coupled with the Human Rights Act, would present a pretty strong case for anyone. But lets hope you never have to test it out..

We were outed in 2003! Had a web site of our own that was not generally available. We never used our names on it and the web address was on one of those sites that hosts millions of different sites. The web addy actually had a letter/number sequence. The only way we managed to find it when we checked it was “safe” was to go to one of two member only swingers sites.

Well, someone found it and it was all over where Les works. Then it got to my place of work through a person who knew my boss so we had to tell the kids! The kids were great and our daughter just said “way to go! Fancy that, my parents are getting more than I am!” lol

It was also found by my niece and my sister emailed us telling us we were “naughty people and deserve a spanking (but not like that!)” ha ha ha All in all it worked out well for us. Our daughter even used to lend her mum a long coat when we went to clubs and wanted to “dress” before we went

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tis the reason I now have no pics on display, snd set to private instead.

A guy I work with just recently joined and mentioned he spotted an ex of his on here.

I was shocked when he asked me about this site, and then said who he spotted.

I value my privacy enough now to hide my pics and change a few personal details.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A work colleague found out that I was a swinger and they are a bit of a gossip, having told me that they did talk about it with someone else at work! There have been some rather cryptic comments made to me by some of the members of staff from time to time and one or two people that now avoid me at all costs and one or two unexpected pleasant surprises. But on the whole I just keep my mouth shut and do my best not to become paranoid. Personally I don't think anyone would have the balls to ask me in public despite what they may have heard. The plus side is that we now know a few people that are swingers who work for the same company as us, just don't work in the same building.

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By *etanreadyCouple
over a year ago

dover

spotted a single guy on this site i used to work with , should have seen his face when i asked him about it, and when i said i was on the site aswell all he could go on about was getting a shag from my partner lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not me but most family aren't in the UK.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A friend of ours walked into her office one morning to find her SH profile on every computer.

She'd p**sed off someone but as log in details weren't required for the PCs & there were no witnesses, she couldn't prove a thing.

She changed jobs very quickly & no longer works for social services.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So many philosophical answers to the question here but how many of you have truly been outed and understand the prejudices that can befall you. The lifestyle that you participate in is viewed as perverted in the mainstream world and more than the odd Swinger Teacher / Social Worker / Lecturer / Police Officer has been outed by newspoapers and had their lives ruined.

Be careful - a true public outing is not what anyone needs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We've never made a secret of what we do.

We'd much rather people found out from ourselves, rather than from someone who thought they were getting one over on us.

We could never live under a "Sword Of Damocles", just waiting for it to fall and would much rather people find out from us than some mischief maker.

Funnily enough, because of our open attitude we've never had any problems, in fact when anyone has shown a reaction its been positive.

The fact is that gob shites will only "out" people that they know will be hurt by it, being open takes that power away from them.

And for the record, we both work with the public.

XXXX

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And for the record, we both work with the public.

XXXX"

Yeah, we already knew that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And for the record, we both work with the public.

XXXX

Yeah, we already knew that

Boom Boom!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

there is a woman at work who Im sure is on here as she friended a facebook fuck buddy I have. now would really like to know as would really really like to play but he wont tell me.

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By *edhotminxWoman
over a year ago

Turn left at the Singing Ringing Tree

Interesting thread and very timely. My darling ex sent our children, who are 17 and 14, an email at the weekend outing me to them. I sat them down and explained what was true and what was lies. They seem to have taken it well, due to the fact that I laughed nearly all the way through reading what he had written. I have nothing to be ashamed of and I am not going to apologise to anyone for my life choices. I'm an adult, I'm over the legal age and it's freedom of choice. Luckily I have always been straight with the kids about everything, and have answered all their questions about sex - so I think that has stood me in good stead for this situation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"closet ive got is a guy message me saying i saw you on the bus today even told me where i was sat"

I would find that really creepy.

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By *o Peep n WoodyCouple
over a year ago

suffolk

I spotted a female from here in Tesco's and see made a quick retreat up the cereals aisle.

Also been contacted by someone who stands almost next to me in the school playground

I explained I recognised them and the male said his wife would be mortified if she knew someone had recognised her

But, never been outed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

when i split with my partner for a few years back, someone made them aware of my presence on a similar site via an anonymous email providing details exact details of my profile name etc.

in all fairness, i shall forever be indebted to the mystery person as the conversations that followed proved to be the catalyst for us getting back together.

and not only have we been together since then, but also the relationship is far stronger, with much more openness and honesty than it had in it's previous incarnation.

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By *umourCouple
over a year ago

Rushden

"So many philosophical answers to the question here but how many of you have truly been outed and understand the prejudices that can befall you. The lifestyle that you participate in is viewed as perverted in the mainstream world and more than the odd Swinger Teacher / Social Worker / Lecturer / Police Officer has been outed by newspoapers and had their lives ruined.

Be careful - a true public outing is not what anyone needs."

Yep! We had the full monty. At work and in our neighbourhood, at the kids work places and even a small country pub where we drink! The only things that didn't happen were the Press and TV!

Must say that we have been pleasantly surprised. Contrary to what most believe, there does not appear to be that groundswell of hatred towards us. In fact, we have found that some of the most unlikely people have asked us about our time in the scene. Yes, some don’t talk to us anymore. One of my mates won’t leave me alone with his wife like he used to, not even to make some tea! But on the whole, for us, people have been way more tolerant than we would have thought.

I suppose some might think of it as a dire thing to happen and at first it was an awful experience, but only because of the unknown...

Mrs R's work (where it all broke with pics and profile details left all over the place) were brilliant. They are a major multinational and she has a pretty high profile job in some areas of the business. Never any thought of sacking, just a concerted effort to stiffle any unwanted chatter and the person who printed off the pictures did eventually get the sack.

My boss at the time and loads I worked with just wanted to know all about it, women included. We had to tell the kids and they were fantastic. When someone at our daughters place started to mention it our daughter just said "Yeah, great isn't it, my parents are getting more than me!" That stopped everything.

All our neighbours know, that is why we don't entertain at home. Not fair on visitors to be looked at and assume they are our playmates. Most want and from us will get discretion. Playing at home doesn’t give them that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Swinging is the new "gay". In a few years it won't be a problem to be "outed" and we can be open about our sexuality as we like. Until then, we are a straight, Chaste, no sex before marriage couple, who find the idea of even sex toys perverse. And with the light on? Never!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

saw a fem a met once a long time ago when i worked in a shop, she came in and there was i knowing look.

and seen a very good friends ex gf on here too, would like to meet her but not sure my pal would approve

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