FabSwingers.com forum: exclusive male for a couple thoughts

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Is there such a thing would it work ?

If you stick to one male is it still classed as swinging?

Are there to many variables for it to actually work ie: how would you know they stay exclusive how many times a week would you play to keep that person exclusive

Just a thought that popped into my head and interested in other people's thoughts on the subject lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Is there such a thing would it work ?

If you stick to one male is it still classed as swinging?

Are there to many variables for it to actually work ie: how would you know they stay exclusive how many times a week would you play to keep that person exclusive

Just a thought that popped into my head and interested in other people's thoughts on the subject lol"

If all parties agree I don't see why it's not possible. The variables would need to be negotiated I guess as would the number of times a week you met.

To me it sounds weighted in favour of the couple unless they only have sex when he's there. Also there's no way to guarantee the single guy isn't having sex with other people.

My opinion is that this is not swinging (loath though I am to put labels on things) because swinging isn't about exclusivity or limiting other people's sexual opportunities.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a single guy, id be perfectly happy with this if it was regular fun and all have a good time when hooking up.

With how tricky fab is for getting meets, having guaranteed regular meets would definately work for me.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My opinion is that this is not swinging (loath though I am to put labels on things) because swinging isn't about exclusivity or limiting other people's sexual opportunities."

Correct, this would not be classified as swinging in my humble opinion,more like polyamory.

Great if you can get this sort of arrangement and all parties are happy !

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"As a single guy, id be perfectly happy with this if it was regular fun and all have a good time when hooking up.

With how tricky fab is for getting meets, having guaranteed regular meets would definately work for me."

Would you genuinely be happy to commit to being exclusive? If you were invited to a party you'd be happy to turn it down or if an attractive woman messaged you for a meet?

Personally I wouldn't want restrictions like that imposed on me.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *olliPineCouple
over a year ago

swingers clubs

"Is there such a thing would it work ?

If you stick to one male is it still classed as swinging?

Are there to many variables for it to actually work ie: how would you know they stay exclusive how many times a week would you play to keep that person exclusive

Just a thought that popped into my head and interested in other people's thoughts on the subject lol"

I think asking for exclusivity is almost asking for a relationship. You know, forsaking all others etc.

If you're asking that guy not to have sex with anyone but the couple, then things may get a little bit too close for comfort. Is he allowed to come knocking whenever he's horny? Or is the single guy only allowed sex once a week / fortnight? Only at your beckoned call?

If that guy is not meeting anyone else, is he then a swinger? As couple you may still be, but that single guy is only seeing you.

If he's only seeing you, is it just for sex, or nights out, socialising together etc?

He may become attached, get the feels and want more. Mrs may become attached. Maybe naughty sex is more of a kick than run of the mill sex?

Be careful, we played with guy in our early days of swinging, he became regular (not exclusive) for a couple of months and he got attached, thought he was part of our relationship. Messaging constantly on phone, WhatsApp, Facebook. Got jealous when we met others, got jealous when we had sex just the 2 of us etc. Wanted to meet every single second of every single day.

Anyway, it might work - just be careful and set clear boundaries.

We've found though that regular doesn't work for us - they do get attached, especially the single guys - they might want NSA, but because it's so hard to get, they don't want to lose it and this leads to attachment and not NSA.

Can't blame them sometimes. If you are doing something you like, you want more, you enjoy it, you keep doing it, you want to keep it, you get attached, it becomes part of your life...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have been talking to a guy from here, and we are now chatting outside....have yet to meet, but it is imminent....and it is sort of a similar situation...he wants to be my fuck buddy but wants to meet only me....but he is more than happy , in fact actively encourages for me to continue with other meets, as what turns him on is knowing his "girlfriend" is fucking other guys....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have been in this type of relationship. For a while. It can work, but like any other there has to be that thing called trust.

I have done with a couple and I did trust them as they did me. I have also been in this type of relationship with a single female for eight months. Well possibly six, because despite me asking if she had met someone else, her denying it, two months on she said she had and it was getting serious. So she stopped seeing me. Which I didn't have a problem with. I just wish she had admitted it when I asked.

So yes, this type of relationship can work, but like any other it comes down to trust.

As for frequency? Whatever the three of you are happy with. And life getting in the way.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP - you're talking about something close to polyamory aren't you? It's certainly a non-traditional relationship that you're talking about, and something beyond 'swinging', whatever that means in 2017.

I don't think what you're suggesting comes under the catch all banner of 'swinging' by any means.

I've been in non traditional non monogamous relationships for years (currently with 2 women) and rather than entirely pigeonholing them, I prefer to just go with non monogamous as a simplification of any terminology - that said, we're probably what's known as 'poly' these days as well.

As for the situation you're talking about - well, that starts to err towards a poly relationship too, doesn't it?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"OP - you're talking about something close to polyamory aren't you? It's certainly a non-traditional relationship that you're talking about, and something beyond 'swinging', whatever that means in 2017.

I don't think what you're suggesting comes under the catch all banner of 'swinging' by any means.

As for the situation you're talking about - well, that starts to err towards a poly relationship too, doesn't it?"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rightonCheekyMan
over a year ago

Brighton

My opinion is that this is not swinging (loath though I am to put labels on things) because swinging isn't about exclusivity or limiting other people's sexual opportunities.

Correct, this would not be classified as swinging in my humble opinion,more like polyamory.

Great if you can get this sort of arrangement and all parties are happy !

I think you nailed it here, it's poly not swinging. In this scenario, to all intents and purposes, you'd be inviting the guy into your relationship as opposed to just your bed.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My opinion is that this is not swinging (loath though I am to put labels on things) because swinging isn't about exclusivity or limiting other people's sexual opportunities.

Correct, this would not be classified as swinging in my humble opinion,more like polyamory.

Great if you can get this sort of arrangement and all parties are happy !

I think you nailed it here, it's poly not swinging. In this scenario, to all intents and purposes, you'd be inviting the guy into your relationship as opposed to just your bed."

There is crossover though - I'm non-monogamous-poly with 2 women. Which a bit of a long winded and kinda wanky term, but it does describe us better.

As for swinging - I've never labelled myself a swinger, as it feels like the sort of term used in cheap red top newspapers, and is a bit 'keys in the bowl/pampas grass/1970's' for my liking!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

It's not a bad idea if all 3 come to an understanding. But it's a shit idea when one man decides to try and monopolize your partner with literally NO contact to the husband.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lirty-CoupleCouple
over a year ago

Bexley

Yes it can work very well and we are always exclusive to the guy we're seeing. We saw our first guy for almost 3 years and it was great both socially and sexually. We met when we could and had a whole lot of fun in and out of bed. It was ideal for us and we've since done the same thing with a couple of other guys, the most recent of which we saw regularly for about a year. We only stopped seeing him because he was promoted and could no longer be available to meet when we were. Pity...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My view is if a man wants an exclusive and faithful relationship he is just as well getting a girlfriend. A proper girlfriend would give him so much ch more than what I am capable of giving him. We've had relationships with a number of guys, one being for 2 and a half years and is still ongoing. I believe the reason these arrangements work is because these guys dont want the restrictions of a proper relationship at that stage in their life. We have the greatest respect for the guys we've been involved with, but I don't believe they would have accepted exclusivity. I mean I can't give them what a single lady can give, so it just wouldn't be in his interest.

Mrs

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Is there such a thing would it work ?

If you stick to one male is it still classed as swinging?

Are there to many variables for it to actually work ie: how would you know they stay exclusive how many times a week would you play to keep that person exclusive

Just a thought that popped into my head and interested in other people's thoughts on the subject lol

I think asking for exclusivity is almost asking for a relationship. You know, forsaking all others etc.

If that guy is not meeting anyone else, is he then a swinger? As couple you may still be, but that single guy is only seeing you.

If he's only seeing you, is it just for sex, or nights out, socialising together etc?

He may become attached, get the feels and want more. Mrs may become attached. Maybe naughty sex is more of a kick than run of the mill sex?

Anyway, it might work - just be careful and set clear boundaries.

Can't blame them sometimes. If you are doing something you like, you want more, you enjoy it, you keep doing it, you want to keep it, you get attached, it becomes part of your life... "

This is the perfect explanation it brings up all the issues that I think would come with that scenario thanks

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread