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"As swingers in the 21st centuray, do you feel in anyway shape or form margenalised by soiety, a society that promotes sexule freedom but at the same time looks down or forces you to hide your activaties from society. Not my views just thinking pylisophocally thats all? " A society that promotes sexual freedom? I live in England. I'm clearly missing something | |||
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"As swingers in the 21st centuray, do you feel in anyway shape or form margenalised by soiety, a society that promotes sexule freedom but at the same time looks down or forces you to hide your activaties from society. Not my views just thinking pylisophocally thats all? " Yes absolutely. Swinging can cost you your job. Gay marriage is overwhelmingly supported, because "love is love", but polyamory is illegal and frowned upon, because love is definately not love. I'm well aware that in the eyes of the average brit, swingers are about one above paedophiles in the deviant hierarchy. But I've long stopped caring what the average person thinks given that statistically they are headed for a miserable marriage, infidelity and an expensive divorce. Whilst i have an awesome wife, love being married to her and have never been happier. | |||
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"I think the publics negative perception of swingers is actually caused by a lot of swingers themselves. The types of people who go on reality tv or documentaries about swinging. I watch those shows and think “what weirdo’s”. I don’t mean to cause offence but it’s usually people with strange personalities and not too attractive that are used to promote swinging to the masses. Perhaps if more “normal” people were in the spotlight then it wouldn’t be seen as so unusual. " The owner of Jaydees went on a channel 4 show called "without prejudice". He conducted himself well and with dignity but had his character assassinated immediately. One person on the panel said that being a swinger meant he shouldn't be allowed to see his grandchild and he wasn't really given the opportunity to respond. | |||
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"As swingers in the 21st centuray, do you feel in anyway shape or form margenalised by soiety, a society that promotes sexule freedom but at the same time looks down or forces you to hide your activaties from society. Not my views just thinking pylisophocally thats all? Yes absolutely. Swinging can cost you your job. Gay marriage is overwhelmingly supported, because "love is love", but polyamory is illegal and frowned upon, because love is definately not love. I'm well aware that in the eyes of the average brit, swingers are about one above paedophiles in the deviant hierarchy. But I've long stopped caring what the average person thinks given that statistically they are headed for a miserable marriage, infidelity and an expensive divorce. Whilst i have an awesome wife, love being married to her and have never been happier. " Ohhhh! Thats such a lovely thing to say! Quite made my day that has | |||
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"Society promotes sexual freedom whilst you're single, it seems to me that extra-marital sex is still viewed as being unfaithful by society and that swinging isn't what "normal" people do, whoever they are! I'd love to be more open about this side of me, but unfortunately people judge before taking the time to understand - which I think is a general thing and not just related to swinging."  | |||
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"We are a prudish nation , I think most UK documentaries are made from the angle of "eeeuwgh! Look at what these people are doing, outrageous!" American made stuff tends to show a fairer representation of the people featured " Most Americans would take a step back and tell you why God hates you if they found out you were a swinger. Then they'd start praying for your soul. I think British people are less prudish than Americans in this regard. In my experience... | |||
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"We are a prudish nation , I think most UK documentaries are made from the angle of "eeeuwgh! Look at what these people are doing, outrageous!" American made stuff tends to show a fairer representation of the people featured Most Americans would take a step back and tell you why God hates you if they found out you were a swinger. Then they'd start praying for your soul. I think British people are less prudish than Americans in this regard. In my experience..." Ahem, he doesn't hate you, he hates your sin. | |||
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"I think the publics negative perception of swingers is actually caused by a lot of swingers themselves. The types of people who go on reality tv or documentaries about swinging. I watch those shows and think “what weirdo’s”. I don’t mean to cause offence but it’s usually people with strange personalities and not too attractive that are used to promote swinging to the masses. Perhaps if more “normal” people were in the spotlight then it wouldn’t be seen as so unusual. " I like the cut of this guys jib. Agree fully btw. And it's not just on tv. If fab is proof of anything it's that the behaviour of swingers leaves a lot to be desired. When u look at the meet requests or accounts...is it any surprise that people are seen as fickle/narcissistic sex obsessed weirdos. I have little problem being casted as such (because it's true lol) but mother of god, spare me the spiel about being "marginalized" because you're a swinger 
I swear everyone wanna be a victim these days. | |||
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"We are a prudish nation , I think most UK documentaries are made from the angle of "eeeuwgh! Look at what these people are doing, outrageous!" American made stuff tends to show a fairer representation of the people featured " Looooool Americans are far, FAAAAR worse when it comes to sexual attitudes. I actually think they have among some of the worst in the western world. Britain is a lot better but we're still kinda behind a lot of nations. I don't think swinging is any indicator of forward thinking sexual attitudes either. The fact polyamory or sexual exploration is relegated to a community of middle aged folk kinda says it all. When I meet southern and central Europeans they seem to be far less neurotic about sexual habits or expression. Especially the women. So much so I often find myself quite intimidated by how comfortable and independent many are sexually. | |||
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"As swingers in the 21st centuray, do you feel in anyway shape or form margenalised by soiety, a society that promotes sexule freedom but at the same time looks down or forces you to hide your activaties from society. Not my views just thinking pylisophocally thats all? " Short answer. No. Peoples attitudes are changing. Slowly but surely. About a lot of things not just swinging. Theres still a long way to go of course. I find more of an issue on this very forum quite frankly. | |||
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"As swingers in the 21st centuray, do you feel in anyway shape or form margenalised by soiety, a society that promotes sexule freedom but at the same time looks down or forces you to hide your activaties from society. Not my views just thinking pylisophocally thats all? A society that promotes sexual freedom? I live in England. I'm clearly missing something" Yeah me too. It's simple why do you need to tell anyone. It's nothing to do with their lives so why does anyone else need to know.. | |||
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"Shall we nominate someone quasi-normal to be the public face of fab? " Is Tina Titz still here? | |||
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"As swingers in the 21st centuray, do you feel in anyway shape or form margenalised by soiety, a society that promotes sexule freedom but at the same time looks down or forces you to hide your activaties from society. Not my views just thinking pylisophocally thats all? Yes absolutely. Swinging can cost you your job. Gay marriage is overwhelmingly supported, because "love is love", but polyamory is illegal and frowned upon, because love is definately not love. I'm well aware that in the eyes of the average brit, swingers are about one above paedophiles in the deviant hierarchy. But I've long stopped caring what the average person thinks given that statistically they are headed for a miserable marriage, infidelity and an expensive divorce. Whilst i have an awesome wife, love being married to her and have never been happier. Ohhhh! Thats such a lovely thing to say! Quite made my day that has" The research from Scandinavia suggests the last post. | |||
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"I’ve never felt the need to discuss my sex life with colleagues, family, the press or indeed certain close friends. Not because I’m ashamed or prudish. I respect that, for example, my mother would be shocked, embarrassed and possibly unecessarily worried for me and also it’s no-one’s bloomin’ business but my own. I also don’t feel an urge to hear about anyone else’s sex life (particularly my mother’s) " | |||
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"Shall we nominate someone quasi-normal to be the public face of fab? Is Tina Titz still here?"  | |||
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"We feel that though some swingers are very open about their lifestyle and will chat openly in normal every life, cafe, restaurants.....Morrisons we don't what we do isn't anyone's business we enjoy being part of the swinging world a select club of like minded people....and entry isn't for just anyone! Our feeling is that most couple just feel that " I couldn't share my wife/husband " but also love the idea ...... I also feel that a lot of none swingers would feel that they couldn't leave their said partner with a swinger for fear of the swinger taking advantage. A bit like homophobia if you like! " Very much your last point! | |||
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"Ive found people are more curious and intrigued and admit to having thoght about it. When you are honest and own it and tell it how it is. Often people join the site.They definately love the fact its a lifestyle choice and very sociable not seedy etc Its only those nowadays with srtong religious believes that really frown upon us and judge x" I don't think the religious people are especially judgemental. The worst ones i find are the insanely insecure ones who assume that because they live next door to a swinger then my wife is going to try a seduce their overweight, bald, toothless, smelly, dumb-fuck of a husband and steal him away from her. | |||
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"Ive found people are more curious and intrigued and admit to having thoght about it. When you are honest and own it and tell it how it is. Often people join the site.They definately love the fact its a lifestyle choice and very sociable not seedy etc Its only those nowadays with srtong religious believes that really frown upon us and judge x I don't think the religious people are especially judgemental. The worst ones i find are the insanely insecure ones who assume that because they live next door to a swinger then my wife is going to try a seduce their overweight, bald, toothless, smelly, dumb-fuck of a husband and steal him away from her. " Definately agree insecure people the worst.. My comment re religion playing a factor is any believes we have grown up with have an impact on our views of what is and isn't morally acceptable.. | |||
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" Added prediction here The younger generation under 30 are way more promiscuous and openminded than many in the scene So give it 10 years it will be as acceptable as body piercings and tattoos x" I do hope so, there is mixed messages about opinion in the literature. For instance a study by swap s (now defunct) concluded that 1in10 people on the UK are swingers or engaged in swinging activity. (I think they slightly wrong but ok). While another survey by the BBC states or predicted that with each generation has Leeds sexial partners than the generation before it, and their tend not to last as long as well. Their are obvious limitations with both studies. | |||
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" Added prediction here The younger generation under 30 are way more promiscuous and openminded than many in the scene So give it 10 years it will be as acceptable as body piercings and tattoos x" I can't imagine this scenario popping up however. Mum: Where you going S: I going to a sex club Mum: Oh lovely have fun darling... | |||
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"On a slightly different note, we had a bit of a debate at work about bisexuality and transgenderism, and going by the comments and blogs it was quite apparent that people's fears and assumptions of what others would say were by largely unfounded, and the majority of people they came out too were accepting and supportive. I quite imagine coming out as a swinger would be fairly similar. But ultimately I don't feel the need to go into work and tell them I had anal sex last night so why would I tell people I had group sex? " Have you considered that the more likely scenario is that someone else tells the people at work that you had group sex? Lot's of these replies have said versions of not feeling a need to tell everyone they are a swinger. I don't think that's the fundamental issue, it's more that swingers often face a lot discriminatiom when 'outed'. | |||
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"On a slightly different note, we had a bit of a debate at work about bisexuality and transgenderism, and going by the comments and blogs it was quite apparent that people's fears and assumptions of what others would say were by largely unfounded, and the majority of people they came out too were accepting and supportive. I quite imagine coming out as a swinger would be fairly similar. But ultimately I don't feel the need to go into work and tell them I had anal sex last night so why would I tell people I had group sex? Have you considered that the more likely scenario is that someone else tells the people at work that you had group sex? Lot's of these replies have said versions of not feeling a need to tell everyone they are a swinger. I don't think that's the fundamental issue, it's more that swingers often face a lot discriminatiom when 'outed'. " I've actually seen it happen, and they didn't face criticism or discrimination they got more of a pat on the back and fair play. I appreciate it's not the same for everyone but it isn't always negative. | |||
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"On a slightly different note, we had a bit of a debate at work about bisexuality and transgenderism, and going by the comments and blogs it was quite apparent that people's fears and assumptions of what others would say were by largely unfounded, and the majority of people they came out too were accepting and supportive. I quite imagine coming out as a swinger would be fairly similar. But ultimately I don't feel the need to go into work and tell them I had anal sex last night so why would I tell people I had group sex? Have you considered that the more likely scenario is that someone else tells the people at work that you had group sex? Lot's of these replies have said versions of not feeling a need to tell everyone they are a swinger. I don't think that's the fundamental issue, it's more that swingers often face a lot discriminatiom when 'outed'. I've actually seen it happen, and they didn't face criticism or discrimination they got more of a pat on the back and fair play. I appreciate it's not the same for everyone but it isn't always negative. " Ok, i lost my job by that's life. Affairs were fine, but consentual non-monogamy was repulsive | |||
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"On a slightly different note, we had a bit of a debate at work about bisexuality and transgenderism, and going by the comments and blogs it was quite apparent that people's fears and assumptions of what others would say were by largely unfounded, and the majority of people they came out too were accepting and supportive. I quite imagine coming out as a swinger would be fairly similar. But ultimately I don't feel the need to go into work and tell them I had anal sex last night so why would I tell people I had group sex? Have you considered that the more likely scenario is that someone else tells the people at work that you had group sex? Lot's of these replies have said versions of not feeling a need to tell everyone they are a swinger. I don't think that's the fundamental issue, it's more that swingers often face a lot discriminatiom when 'outed'. I've actually seen it happen, and they didn't face criticism or discrimination they got more of a pat on the back and fair play. I appreciate it's not the same for everyone but it isn't always negative. Ok, i lost my job by that's life. Affairs were fine, but consentual non-monogamy was repulsive " Mental. | |||
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"As swingers in the 21st centuray, do you feel in anyway shape or form margenalised by soiety, a society that promotes sexule freedom but at the same time looks down or forces you to hide your activaties from society. Not my views just thinking pylisophocally thats all? Yes absolutely. Swinging can cost you your job. Gay marriage is overwhelmingly supported, because "love is love", but polyamory is illegal and frowned upon, because love is definately not love. I'm well aware that in the eyes of the average brit, swingers are about one above paedophiles in the deviant hierarchy. But I've long stopped caring what the average person thinks given that statistically they are headed for a miserable marriage, infidelity and an expensive divorce. Whilst i have an awesome wife, love being married to her and have never been happier. " | |||
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" Added prediction here The younger generation under 30 are way more promiscuous and openminded than many in the scene So give it 10 years it will be as acceptable as body piercings and tattoos x" They're not. This is a massive misconception. Listen to anyone who actually works in the club scene and they'll tell you swinging is dying. I was speaking to someone who organised events in Jamaica for swingers and nudists and they told me that the conditions of the venues are increasingly dilapidated because there just is not the audience that used to be there. It's a combination of the ubiquity and intrusiveness of technology and the fact that millennials (who should he serving as a replacement) are simply not as promiscuous. Stop reading papers and start talking and engaging with young people. So so many of them struggle sexually and can't find relationships to save their lives. This is caused by both the fall in soft and social skills of young people and the fact the increased lack of financial security has meant that young people often don't have the means or logistics to accommodate a bachelor lifestyle (access to ones own transport/place to live/steady income). | |||
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"Not my views just thinking pylisophocally thats all? " I can hereby declare that Scottish Ornithologists' Club, Scouts of China, Serbian Orthodox Church, Société des Ornithologistes du Canada, Society of Cartographers, Special Olympics Canada, and the Syrian Opposition Coalition ALL thinks it is an absolute DISGRACE that needs to stop now and I entirely agree with them. Filthy lot, you all are! | |||
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" Added prediction here The younger generation under 30 are way more promiscuous and openminded than many in the scene So give it 10 years it will be as acceptable as body piercings and tattoos x They're not. This is a massive misconception. Listen to anyone who actually works in the club scene and they'll tell you swinging is dying. I was speaking to someone who organised events in Jamaica for swingers and nudists and they told me that the conditions of the venues are increasingly dilapidated because there just is not the audience that used to be there. It's a combination of the ubiquity and intrusiveness of technology and the fact that millennials (who should he serving as a replacement) are simply not as promiscuous. Stop reading papers and start talking and engaging with young people. So so many of them struggle sexually and can't find relationships to save their lives. This is caused by both the fall in soft and social skills of young people and the fact the increased lack of financial security has meant that young people often don't have the means or logistics to accommodate a bachelor lifestyle (access to ones own transport/place to live/steady income)." They're is evidence to suggest that the younger generations will likely have less relationships and possibly less sexule partners. There is an evolution in lower aged milenials who see looking into someone's eyes as a threat not a sighn of showing that you're listening. The swinging scene you mentioned was of one area in the world, is this the same intentionally? | |||
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"Not my views just thinking pylisophocally thats all? I can hereby declare that Scottish Ornithologists' Club, Scouts of China, Serbian Orthodox Church, Société des Ornithologistes du Canada, Society of Cartographers, Special Olympics Canada, and the Syrian Opposition Coalition ALL thinks it is an absolute DISGRACE that needs to stop now and I entirely agree with them. Filthy lot, you all are!" Haha. | |||
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" I can hereby declare that Scottish Ornithologists' Club, Scouts of China, Serbian Orthodox Church, Société des Ornithologistes du Canada, Society of Cartographers, Special Olympics Canada, and the Syrian Opposition Coalition ALL thinks it is an absolute DISGRACE that needs to stop now and I entirely agree with them. Filthy lot, you all are! Haha. " Thanks, I did try!  | |||
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" On the other hand, people generally don't really want to know the details of other people's sex lives" Are you sure? I would say that most people gravitate towards gossip like flies to shit | |||
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"Ive found people are more curious and intrigued and admit to having thoght about it. When you are honest and own it and tell it how it is. Often people join the site.They definately love the fact its a lifestyle choice and very sociable not seedy etc Its only those nowadays with srtong religious believes that really frown upon us and judge x" Perfectly put 'when your honest and you own it'. Love that! It's a lifestyle choice and absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. I have no problem with people knowing I'm a Swinger and would discuss my sex life no more or less than I would were I not one. | |||
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" On the other hand, people generally don't really want to know the details of other people's sex lives Are you sure? I would say that most people gravitate towards gossip like flies to shit" Maybe we hang around with different people
Where I work if I were to volunteer what I get up to sexually most people would find it highly distasteful and think I was a tosser. Hence I don't. | |||
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" On the other hand, people generally don't really want to know the details of other people's sex lives Are you sure? I would say that most people gravitate towards gossip like flies to shit Maybe we hang around with different people
Where I work if I were to volunteer what I get up to sexually most people would find it highly distasteful and think I was a tosser. Hence I don't. "I know some circles where discussing sex is frowned upon, but i always considered them less usual than the ones where it wasn't. Once there was a girl at work who had a homemade porn video go on the t'internet. The whole office had seen it by lunchtime, the cleaner and security guard by the end of the day and probably the CEO by the next morning. | |||
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"As swingers in the 21st centuray, do you feel in anyway shape or form margenalised by soiety, a society that promotes sexule freedom but at the same time looks down or forces you to hide your activaties from society. Not my views just thinking pylisophocally thats all? Yes absolutely. Swinging can cost you your job. Gay marriage is overwhelmingly supported, because "love is love", but polyamory is illegal and frowned upon, because love is definately not love. I'm well aware that in the eyes of the average brit, swingers are about one above paedophiles in the deviant hierarchy. But I've long stopped caring what the average person thinks given that statistically they are headed for a miserable marriage, infidelity and an expensive divorce. Whilst i have an awesome wife, love being married to her and have never been happier. " . | |||
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" On the other hand, people generally don't really want to know the details of other people's sex lives Are you sure? I would say that most people gravitate towards gossip like flies to shit Maybe we hang around with different people
Where I work if I were to volunteer what I get up to sexually most people would find it highly distasteful and think I was a tosser. Hence I don't.
I know some circles where discussing sex is frowned upon, but i always considered them less usual than the ones where it wasn't.
Once there was a girl at work who had a homemade porn video go on the t'internet. The whole office had seen it by lunchtime, the cleaner and security guard by the end of the day and probably the CEO by the next morning."I have worked in the law for over twenty years. I have never known anyone discuss sex at work. As you say it probably depends on the area in which you work. | |||
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" On the other hand, people generally don't really want to know the details of other people's sex lives Are you sure? I would say that most people gravitate towards gossip like flies to shit Maybe we hang around with different people
Where I work if I were to volunteer what I get up to sexually most people would find it highly distasteful and think I was a tosser. Hence I don't.
I know some circles where discussing sex is frowned upon, but i always considered them less usual than the ones where it wasn't.
Once there was a girl at work who had a homemade porn video go on the t'internet. The whole office had seen it by lunchtime, the cleaner and security guard by the end of the day and probably the CEO by the next morning.
I have worked in the law for over twenty years. I have never known anyone discuss sex at work. As you say it probably depends on the area in which you work. "everybody at all levels talk about sex regardless of stature.Just like all walks of life use this site.perhaps you just give off a vibe that makes people avoid it with you as they can tell or get the impression you won't like it. | |||
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" On the other hand, people generally don't really want to know the details of other people's sex lives Are you sure? I would say that most people gravitate towards gossip like flies to shit Maybe we hang around with different people
Where I work if I were to volunteer what I get up to sexually most people would find it highly distasteful and think I was a tosser. Hence I don't.
I know some circles where discussing sex is frowned upon, but i always considered them less usual than the ones where it wasn't.
Once there was a girl at work who had a homemade porn video go on the t'internet. The whole office had seen it by lunchtime, the cleaner and security guard by the end of the day and probably the CEO by the next morning.
I have worked in the law for over twenty years. I have never known anyone discuss sex at work. As you say it probably depends on the area in which you work. everybody at all levels talk about sex regardless of stature.Just like all walks of life use this site.perhaps you just give off a vibe that makes people avoid it with you as they can tell or get the impression you won't like it."I am sure people do talk about sex, but not at work. I think that's pretty standard in many workplaces these days. | |||
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" On the other hand, people generally don't really want to know the details of other people's sex lives Are you sure? I would say that most people gravitate towards gossip like flies to shit Maybe we hang around with different people
Where I work if I were to volunteer what I get up to sexually most people would find it highly distasteful and think I was a tosser. Hence I don't.
I know some circles where discussing sex is frowned upon, but i always considered them less usual than the ones where it wasn't.
Once there was a girl at work who had a homemade porn video go on the t'internet. The whole office had seen it by lunchtime, the cleaner and security guard by the end of the day and probably the CEO by the next morning.
I have worked in the law for over twenty years. I have never known anyone discuss sex at work. As you say it probably depends on the area in which you work. everybody at all levels talk about sex regardless of stature.Just like all walks of life use this site.perhaps you just give off a vibe that makes people avoid it with you as they can tell or get the impression you won't like it.
I am sure people do talk about sex, but not at work. I think that's pretty standard in many workplaces these days. "Maybe if you work in hollywood
Too soon? | |||
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